Work Header

System is a total BS

Work Text:


"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to your favourite live debate show, 'System is a total BS'. Today, 13th June, our dearest Danmei Goddess Priest was born! As a gift for the author, we have invited two very dear characters of her for today's show.

So, ladies and gentlemen please welcome, Fei Du from the novel Modu and Lu Bixing from the novel Can Ci Pin!"

The surrounding was filled with claps, cheers and screams in the next second as both of the protagonist entered into the stage through two opposite entrance. Many people fainted and died right then and there from the excitement. Many started to cry seeing their idol on live. It was a total mess.

The two who had to present themselves on the stage were least affected by this though.

Lu Bixing was wearing a very elegant suit with his significant neck tie. His curly hair were slightly messy but not to the point of ruining his style. A polite smile lingering on his lips. He was definitely radiating the vibe of a gentleman.

On the other hand, Fei du had total different aura. His long hair were pushed back and tied into a ponytail, he was wearing a very casual shirt with it's upper two button undone. The tight pants were wrapped perfectly around his long legs. The vibe 'I'm a rich spoiled second generation kid and I know it' aura was oozing out from his style.

The stage was very simply decorated. The lighting wasn't too dazzling rather very elegant. Two leather couch was positioned face to face with a coffee table between them.

Some simple snacks and tea were present in the table.

There was no third person on the stage except Lu Bixing and Fei Du.

The so called system was nothing but a voice which could be heard from any corner of the stage.

Both Lu Bixing and Fei Du reached at the middle of stage together and politely shook each other's hand before sitting on the respective couch.

Lu Bixing sat very modestly whereas Fei Du immediately put his left leg on the right one and sat very comfortably.

This kid....

"Good day Mr. Fei and Mr. Lu. Hope you have a wonderful evening. But no worries, if you didn't have, you'll soon have the best evening of your life."

"Sounds wrong...."


"Haha. As we've heard, Mr. Fei has a very good sense of humor. Let's not waste anymore time and jump down to the segment for which our viewers have been waiting for so long.

Today's debate theme is....."

Out of  nowhere a very cliche and loud 'papapaparaparara' sound filled the stage and the next second a sentence filled the large screen.

The sentence,

"Who has the nicer abs?"

was presented with vivid colors.

Fei du who didn't have any mentionable abs: "......"

Lu Bixing who doesn't get any time to work out except the special night 'exercise' : "......"


"Who has the nicer abs?!!!

Is it Luo Wenzhou from Mo Du?

Or Lin Jinheng from Can Ci Pin?"

A very funky picture of Luo Wenzhou waving toward someone and a very formal picture of Lin Jinheng just standing and glaring at the camera was presented on the big screen.

Fei du: "....."

Lu Bixing: "......"

Indeed the show deserved it's name. This is total BS!

They were actually brought here to fight against each other in front of the world about their spouse's abs!!!

"The two debaters, do you have any opinion toward today's theme?"

Both Fei du and Bixing spoke up at the same time, "Bullshit!"

"Congratulations on successfully saying the keyword and starting the show! Please stablish your statement with logic and votes!"


Bullshit! Who sets their show name as their keyword!

Bixing's facade of pretending to be gentleman was half flown away, he was totally pissed about this evening where he couldn't just stay beside Lin and try out different 'experiments'. He was forced to participate in this show!

Fei Du's scowl grew even deeper. Today Wenzhou had permitted him to drink a bit of wine, but this nonsense show served nothing but tea and snacks!

What are they gonna do? Play teahouse with each other like kindergarten kids?

Bixing picked up the tea cup and drank a mouthful of bitter tea. He decided to break the silence, "It's not like I really want to do it, but since we are at this point anyway we might as well start the show. So why do you think your partner has better abs than my partner? As you know, my husband is older and is a marshal of whole eighth galaxy. He is ought to have better abs than your partner."

The large crowd from the audience section cheered loudly, supporting Lu Bixing's logical statement.

Fei du tucked the string of hair behind his ear which had somehow got out from the ponytail and smirked, "Isn't it because I haven't seen your husband's abs? We have only read and heard about the infamous Lin Jinheng's abs, but I don't know many people who has seen his abs. To the least, they have only seen commander's biceps. Whereas pretty sure everyone present here had seen my partner's abs. My husband is confident about his body and isn't afraid of showing his nicely built packs. Anyone present here would drool over his body."

The crowd immediately changed side and cheered loudly, "YESSSS! WE HAVE SEEN, WE HAVE SEEN WENZHOU'S BODY! IT'S THE NICEST!"

A very casual pic of Lu Wenzhou after working out was displayed on the screen. Fei du had posted this on social media not long ago.

His sweaty hair, and perfectly built muscle was captured perfectly on the picture.

Truly, when you love someone and take their picture, the photo somehow looks livelier.

Bixing clenched his teeth and mocked inside, "What's the point of seeing a body which the world has seen? The pleasure of seeing what no one has seen is the best."

As if Fei Du could hear his inner thoughts, his sharp eyes behind the glasses directly glared onto the screen as he spoke up with a unmistakable arrogant voice, "Too bad, only I can have the pleasure of having it though."

The crowd burst into scream, some fangriling, some shouting for being fed dog food without any reason!


Lu Bixing was impressed by Fei Du's sharp remarks and laughed out loud.

He leaned onto the couch and loosened his necktie while sitting very casually. The modest aura around him vanished in a blink of an eye as he ran his fingers through his curly hair.

"Not bad. But..." His eyes lowered and he returned the same gaze as Fei Du, "Not everyone has the worth of seeing my commander's abs."

A moment of pin drop silence as the crowd was shocked by this aura of prime minister Lu Bixing!

Next second the crowd had another big outburst!

The online viewers had broke their screen by tapping 'dog food' throughout the whole screen!

Never in the history of this show had reached such a high view rating!

This is a showdown between husbands about their husbands abs!


"Since our world was built through novels, it all comes to description at the end.

Let's check the description. Both of them were described as having nice body and abs. Both of them were mentioned of doing regular workout session. Both of them were accused of seducing their partners with their nice body... "

Fei Du chocked on the shameless remark of Lu Bixing but he couldn't deny it as well so he just stayed silent, deciding to wait for the attack that the other has prepared.

"But.... There was no mention of Captain Lu Wenzhou having a nice waist. Whereas Commander Lin Jinheng's thin beautiful waist was mentioned several times.

There is no doubt that a abs shape with thin waist is more gorgeous. What do you have to say about it Mr. Fei?

Don't you think this proves that commander Lin has more beautiful abs?"

The crowd was very satisfied with Lu Bixing's deep research about both novels and characters.

Immediately the percentage of Lin Jinheng on the poll increased in a visible rate.

Lu Wenzhou - 38%
Lin Jinheng - 62%

Fei Du wasn't least worried about the voting poll. He had yet to drop the biggest bomb anyway.

"What a beautiful description about Commander Lin's thin waist. Truly admirable. However, dare I mention..."

He paused dramatically and with a evil smirk he continued the rest of his sentence, "The elite commander Lin Jinheng is a shou and the passive one in night time. Thus there is no way he can have extra workout time and his built is just regular."

Lu Bixing almost spat out the tea and glared sharply. This kid dares to talk about bed life in front of the whole world!

Since Fei Du had already shown his shamless skin he continued without any shame, "Whereas my spouse is the gong and in fact very much active one, thus his exercise time far surpasses Lin Jinheng's regular workout session. He has clearly more stamina and he is much more stable with his body. Did you all forget about how he could pick me up and do it all night long against the door without any support? This is the proof that his workout is of fruit and thus his abs are built more perfectly!"


Nothing can beat bed life talk. The crowd went wild and the voting poll result changed dramatically,

Luo Wenzhou: 79%
Lin Jinheng: 21%

The drastic change of the poll is the proof how much of a shock it is for the crowd to have Lin Jinheng as the shou one that people can't get over of this even until now.

And how much they liked the beastly gong aura of Lu Wenzhou.

At this point Lu Bixing decided that he might as well drop his bomb so he said with a very stable and casual tone,

"Lin can ride better."


Fei du chocked for the second time today.

The poll broke for the nth time today and finally stopped at both of them having 50% vote each.


"What an intense debate! What an intense topic! We can feel passion from both of the debater. However both logic and vote has failed to give us any result.

So, we have decided to have video call with some of the more interesting people to know about their opinion about this topic.

Debater Mr. Fei and Mr. Lu, try your best to pull the guests into your side to stablish your statement.

Let's continue the show!

Our first call is....."

After three rings the call was picked up and a peerless beauty was shown on the screen.

"Gu yun, from Sha Po Lang!"


"Gu Yun!!!"





The crowd went absolutely wild and in return Gu Yun waved his flute and smiled lazily.


Sorry not sorry for ruining your reading experience but I had to.)

Lu Bixing wanted to finish this show and go home already so he didn't waste any time and jumped onto the topic, "Nice to have Marquis Gu as our guest this evening. We should not waste your precious free time so let's move onto the question. Today's topic is 'Who has the nicer abs?' and we want to have your opinion on this matter. Who do you think have nicer abs, Mr. Fei's spouse Luo Wenzhou or Mr. Lu's spouse Lin Jinheng?"

Through the screen, the slight frown on Gu Yun's face could be seen.

After three seconds of pin drop silence, the sexy voice of the infamous Gu floated toward them, "Isn't it of course, I, the Northwest flower who has the nicest body though? How come...."

Fei du pressed the 'cut' button without any hesitation and cut the video call with the Marquis of order!

Clearly this was a very wrong person to ask about the question! Does he know anything except Northwest flower!

Lu Bixing couldn't agree more with this decision of Fei Du and gave him a kudos secretly in heart.

The crowd let out a noise of disappointment but the two player just rolled their eyes secretly.


What's wrong with the system? It didn't move forward the show to call for the next guest or anything.

Clearly only Gu Yun can't be the only guest!

Fei Du decided to call the next person on the list himself and not wait for the system which had probably lost their mind over the so called Northwest Flower.

After ringing for a while the screen was once again gobsmacked by another beauty making the crowd break down again for the nth time today.

Shen Wei who was on the screen suddenly saw such a large crowd and two person sitting with a serious expression and grew a bit nervous.

He started to think if he had done anything wrong since he wasn't really used to technology.

"Brother Shen, hope you're having an amazing evening. We are on this debate show and we need your opinion on today's topic.

Our topic is 'Who has the nicer abs?' Is it Luo Wenzhou from Mo Du or Lin Jinheng from Can Ci Pin?"

Shen Wei was flustered from the very start and when he was suddenly faced with this question he turned red without any warning.


The crowd died at the innocent facade of Professor Shen.

Out of nowhere a very angry looking Zhao Yunlan came in the view and showed a middle finger toward the screen before cutting the call.

His wifey was flustered by the mention of other people's abs when he has this husband with gorgeous abs right beside him!

Who's gonna tell him that professor Shen's not so innocent mind had already wandered off to his husband's body when they had only mentioned about nice abs! He didn't even hear the name of the people on the theme mentioned later let alone expressing his thoughts about that subject!

Oh, did I mention how the crowd had died again from the boldness of Zhao Yunlan?


Xu Xilin seemed much more enthusiastic about this topic than the other previous guests and he started to talk about how they should just bring the two person of the subject in the stage and measure their abs scientifically with various experiments as well.

Lu Bixing and Fei Du went absolutely crazy inside listening to the nonsense of this little enthusiast and was beyond thankful to Dou Xun who with a dark face cut the call before saying only one word, "Bullshit!"

They couldn't agree more with him.

The crowd was drown in by the sexiness and arrogance of Dou Xun and just wanted to hug their baby boi Xu Xilin.

Who is your baby boi!! He is already thirty years old adult man!


Lu Bixing hesitated quite a while before calling Wei Qian from Da Ge.

They phone rang for lifetimes but no one picked it up.

He knew it! He had this doubt! He should have just went with his gut and not call this person who wasn't least bit interested in the world right now.

The best evening your ass, Lu Bixing was growing more than pissed.

He totally ignored the name Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi because his gut was telling him that these guys won't pick up as well and this time he trusted his gut wholeheartedly.

The next call went to Jiang Hu.



Both Fei Du and Lu Bixing felt like crying inside! What is this little psychologist talking about! How everyone has different perspective and find different things attractive. Some might find cockroach beautiful while butterfly scary and for some people it might be total opposite!

How is this related to Luo Wenzhou and Lin Jinheng's abs! Who is the cockroach here, who is the butterfly!

Your mom!

Shen Yexi was probably more embarassed than any other person alive in the world currently. He couldn't take it anymore and cut the call.

If you don't want to pick a side, just don't! Why would you talk nonsense.

Jiang Hu laughed at his reaction for a while and expressed his mischievous thoughts about how he liked to see that hidden pissed face of the two debater.

As he smelt Shen Yexi drinking vinegar he very easily coaxed the other by saying, how he liked his abs the most in the world.


Lu Bixing, Fei du, the viewers, system all of them gave up on finding the result through these so called guests.

There was no final result and at the end with a big sigh everyone agreed that only one person can give a clear solution  about this problem.

Lu Bixing eyed the kid sitting in front of him and looked at the time. The show was near finishing. He put a modest smile and spoke up, "It was nice having 'chat' with you. We might know the result in a minute or two, but no matter what the result is, I don't think there are any abs in the world which can beat commander Lin's."

Fei Du chuckled and returned the smile, "I'm glad we are on the same page. I also do not believe in the result and have faith in my statement only. And I still firmly believe that captain Luo Wenzhou's abs are unbeatable."

The audience was very much satisfied with the rivalry between the two and even cheered for them.

The final dialogues were delivered, they couldn't be more satisfied with the show.

The last call of the show rang for the fifth time and was finally picked up. But this time it was just an audio call.

Everyone held their breath as the goddess's voice was heard, "Hello?"

The system was more than nervous and with much difficulty it spoke up, but this time it refrained from talking bullshits, "Author Priest, from the Live debate show, 'System is a total BS' we would like to wish you a very Happy and Healthy Birthday."

"Thank you?"

"We are honored to have you in our show today. Today our theme was 'Who has the nicer abs' is it Luo Wenzhou or Lin Jinheng?

We would like to have your opinion in this matter."

Once again silence had engulfed all of them and everyone held their breath tightly.

How can they not! The heating debate will come to an end just by one sentence from the creator of their world.

".... Um.. My apologize but who are they though?"


The goddess forgot about the characters and world she had created herself!!


Who's gonna answer this big mystery now!?!


Error 404

Bonus 1 :

Both Luo Wenzhou and Lin Jinheng was so embarrassed that both of them had decided not to show their faces to the world for the rest of their life. This is too shameful!!

And also the one who went to show needed really good spanking once they are back home!!


Bonus 2: If Kou Tong from YouYi was in debate show as well,

Lu Bixing: Why do you think your spouse has better abs than my spouse?

Fei du: Yes, what's your logic? Why do you think Huang Jinchen's abs are better?

Kou tong: I don't think so. I think they are ugly.

Lu Bixing and Fei Du: .......

(Showdown Ends with obvious loser and winner)


Bonus 3 :

System is currently beyond busy licking Gu Zixi's picture on screen and is emotionally very unstable. Sorry for any errors in hosting! Hope everyone will understand!


A/N: Wtf is this?? I wasted my 2 hours on this???? Hello?? My morning??? I was supposed to write LuLin smut but this????? What is this trash?? What should I call this??? Ahhhh.

I hope you guys will totally ignore any type of error and mistakes since I wrote this story in very short time. Also I was lying on the bed the whole time and didn't even wear my glasses while writing this so I'm ought to have many mistakes. Please understand!

But honestly guys, who do you think have nicer abs?

Luo Wenzhou? Or Lin Jinheng?


Check the art on her twitter @ningningwontons 


You won't regret istg.


All hail to Priest Sama btw. Happiest Birthday to you.

Thank you so much for existing and making my life so much better. I can't express how grateful I'm to you.

May you live longer than any human being and live without any regrets!

And write many more awesome novels!!.

Find me in Twitter: DanmeiParadise