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richard harmon and the best day ever

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The first time Richard sees her is at the alliance meeting.

Clarke had decided to bring him, his brother Murphy, Bellamy, and Raven along to the grounder village. Not for protection, Clarke made a huge point of reminding them. For... support.

Richard had snorted at that and so had Murphy, but they left their weapons behind anyways. If the grounders wanted them to die, they would die.

And so he had trekked twenty miles to the grounder village, noticeably miserable for the entirety of it. Which, okay, was completely understandable. He had to bear witness to Bellamy and his own twin brother teasing and play-fighting and lovingly mocking each other, for god's sake. Not to mention whatever Raven and Clarke were giggling about up in front- seriously, how does one find 20 miles worth of conversation to giggle about? Who even giggles while hiking 20 miles?

By the end of the trip, Richard was tired and hungry and decidedly unwilling to be within close proximity of his brother and Bellamy ever again. Ever.

Six grounders escort them through the village walls, and the group is rushed immediately to what seems to be the village headquarters. Great, Richard thinks glumly as he shoots a furtive glance towards Murphy and Bellamy on his right. So much for never being in the same proximity again. His brother has his ARM around Bellamy, Richard is DISGUSTED. He turns his head dramatically to his left and of course Clarke and Raven are still giggling (seriously that's starting to freak him out) so he hangs his head defeatedly and doesn't look up from the ground until they arrive in a tented area.

When he does look up, though, it's to see the most beautiful creature Richard is sure he's ever seen in his life. She's standing next to the Commander, looking serious and bored. Her long dark hair is pulled back into a braid and her eye makeup is, in Richard's expert opinion, even more on point than Lexa's.

"Hey," Richard whispers, punching Clarke lightly on the back of her shoulder, "who is that?"

She shoots him an annoyed glare over her shoulder, but follows his line of vision anyways. "Who, Tenille?" Clarke whispers back, "she's Lexa's younger sister. And her second."

Richard curses silently. Tenille is hot af and also scary af. On top of that, she's the Commander's younger sister. Which together narrows his chances of ever being with her down to about .00000000001%.

Despite this unpromising percentage, he spends the rest of the meeting tuning out the talking and focusing on Tenille. Richard wills her to make eye contact, but she spends the entire time staring disinterestedly ahead, clearly not paying attention to the conversation either.

About ten minutes in, Murphy nudges him and whispers, "you're looking super creepy dude."

Richard pointedly ignores his brother, resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at him like a child.

After the grounders officially welcome the group, Clarke stays in Lexa's tent to discuss strategy or whatever. Raven walks out with the rest of them but changes her mind after a few seconds and marches back into the tent to join the two leaders. Bellamy and Murphy go off to- actually Richard has no idea where the two are going or what they plan on doing, and he seriously cannot express how much he doesn't care and doesn't want to know.

So that left Richard, alone in a grounder village. Why did he agree to come on this trip in the first place? He'd much rather be at their own camp, hanging out with Jasper and Monty. Hanging out with Jasper and Monty and other people- Richard corrects- because the pair gets a little too handsy whenever its just them and Richard. Richard sighs and shakes his head, wandering aimlessly throughout the village. His friends suck.

About twenty minutes later, Richard finds himself sitting by a small river on the outskirts of the grounder village.

"This is my spot," a clear voice sounds from behind him. Richard jumps in surprise and jerks his head towards the source.

It's the girl- Tenille. Her face wears the same serious expression as before, but he swears there's a hint of amusement in there now as he stutters, "oh, uh... I-"

She shakes her head, taking a seat on the rock next to him and crossing her legs. "It's fine. Richard, isn't it?" Richard is basically dying at this point, not that'd he ever admit that to anyone ever.

He manages to shake his head, "er- yeah um. Usually people aren't able to tell my brother and I apart- especially at first."

Tenille smirks, "my sister requires me to know these things- I am to be ambassador to your people. But it was a guess, to be honest. I assumed the other one- Murphy?- would be with the boy Bellamy."

Richard grimaces, "well, you're not wrong about that."

She laughs and dips her hands into the cool running water, "what, you don't think they are cute?"

"Oh," Richard says miserably, "they're cute. That's the problem. I don't want to watch my brother-" he makes some obscure hand motions, "be CUTE."

Tenille laughs again, and it's the most beautiful sound Richard's ever heard. He watches with heart eyes as she dips her hands deeper into the stream.

She looks up at him, and he dies again, and then another time when she asks, "would you like to see something cool, Richard of the Sky People?"

He can't speak, can only nod his head rapidly. She smirks again and removes her hands from the water, keeping them cupped together tightly.

"You have to promise me you won't tell anyone," she says sternly, locking Richard in her gaze, "This has to be our secret. No Clarke or Murphy or Bellamy or my sister."

He nods again, and she responds by opening her hands.

And in them are... three objects. One is a yellow, sponge-like shape, another is a pink star, and the last- the last is blue, and squiggly. Wait those aren't just objects, they're-

"AH," Richard shouts in alarm, jumping up from the rock he was sitting on and scrambling backwards, "WHAT TH- WHAT THE FUCK."

Richard stares at the creatures in Lexa's hand as they start to move- start to- talk? Tenille is watching Richard steadily, as the yellow creature says, "hey, I'm Spongebob."

Richard is breathing heavily, eyes wide. Is this seriously happening. "HOLY SHIT," he runs his fingers through his hair, "WHAT THE FUCK EARTH, WHAT THE FUCK." He's still freaked out at this point, but nears closer to Tenille and the three creatures. "That-" he announces, pointing at Tenille's hand, "iS COOL AS SHIT. HOLY FRICK. WOW. I LOVE THIS."

Tenille smiles, and it's like he passed some sort of test. "This is Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward," she tells him, pointing to the each respective creature. "I found them here one day. I'm the only one who knows about them- and I guess now you do to."

Richard comes even closer to Tenille and reaches out his hand to poke the blue creature- Squidward. "What the heck, man," Squidward squirms away from his touch.

"That one especially doesn't like being poked. The other ones don't seem to mind it, though!" Tenille informs him brightly.

"This is the coolest shit I've ever seen."





Tenille's face is back to being serious again, "they're mine."

"But- why can't we share? We can raise them together," Richard suggests.

"I'm a grown adult!" Squidward interjects, "I have a job!" but is completely ignored.

"Hm," considers Tenille, "I'll think about it."


And that is the story of how Richard becomes the loving parent of three grown men with the love of his life, Tenille.