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The Desire to Kiss and Be Kissed

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It had been a long shift, logically Spock understood that it was no longer than any other shift that he had worked on the bridge. But Spock also understood that time is a very strange concept and is not always quite as logical as it should be.

The shift had ended 6.75 minutes ago, enough time for each of the alpha crew members to clear their stations for the next people to take their place. He and Jim headed towards the turbo lift alone, as usual they were the last of alpha shift to leave, ensuring that beta shift were prepared for their time at the bridge.

The shift had felt so incredibly long simply because nothing out of the ordinary happened. Although it was hard to class anything as ordinary on the Enterprise as they had a habit of encountering trouble, Spock had noted that the Enterprise was 8.25% more likely to encounter an issue than any of the other Starfleet vessels. While that percentage should have seemed small, much in the same way that time was illogical as was the trouble that the Enterprise encountered. This shift had been simple, they were to continue on their course into deep space in search of the next phenomenon, no exact destination in mind. What that meant was that it was a lot of looking at a black sky with stars that were too far away to truly see. Spock of course did not mind this, but as the alpha shift bridge crew were mainly humans, he could understand why they would reach boredom during their shift.

The doors to the turbo lift opened and the two men stepped inside. The captain let out a sigh before dragging his hands over his face, “How is it Mr Spock, that after a shift that incredibly boring, your eyeshadow is still perfect?” Jim looked back up to meet Spock’s eyes.

To say that Spock was not expecting that question would have been an understatement, he had not thought that anyone had paid attention to his eyeshadow before. The only comment he had ever received was from the ships CMO who asked whether it was logical to wear makeup, Spock had been slightly confused over whether the man was judging him for the makeup until he remembered that the doctor was also fond of wearing eyeshadow. Spock tended to keep his makeup fairly simple, he would wear foundation and concealer but avoided the use of any blush or contour products, the most interesting part of his makeup was his eyeshadow which he kept limited to one or two colours.

Spock hid his surprise, simply raising an eyebrow before replying, “I use a good primer Captain”, he hoped that Jim would not pick up on the emotion behind the response.

The captain chuckled, “I’ve always wanted to wear eyeshadow, but I have hardly any room up there with my eyebrows being so low.”, this was emphasised with a wiggle of said eyebrows, “The most I ever do is some eyeliner every now and then. And surely by now you know you can call me Jim when we’re off shift?”

Spock turned to study Jim’s eyes; his eyebrows did cover most of his eyelid but perhaps that would make any eyeshadow that was there more of a feature when the man blinked. “I would be willing to offer my expertise in the area if you needed it, Jim.” He could not deny the strange emotions that washed over him at being able to use the captains nickname in conversation, he enjoyed that they had developed a friendship that allowed this.

The doors opened to the officer’s floor with a whoosh, at the end of the corridor were two doors. One to the Captains room, one to the first officer’s room. The two of them headed out of the lift and towards the doors, some part of Spock was upset that he knew upon reaching those doors their conversation would cease, he had no one to discuss makeup with on the ship.

The captain turned his head towards his first officer, “Spock is that your way of saying you’d like to try putting eyeshadow on me?” Jim smirked; his eyes almost seemed to be glittering back at the Vulcan. He knew that Jim would not need any glitter on his eyelids because it could never compare to the sparkle in his eyes, the captain had remarkable eyes. Spock was used to seeing brown eyes, all Vulcans have deep brown eyes, but Jim’s eyes were warm and lighter. They reminded him of honey when in the sun or milk chocolate being stirred when in the lights of the Enterprise corridors.

Spock allowed himself a small smile, “If that makes you feel better then yes Jim.” He continued to look forward, letting the captain to see the small smile but not to take too much pleasure in his ability to make a Vulcan smile.

They reached the end of the corridor and before Spock unlocked his door Jim spoke, “Well if you’re serious about the offer then how about rather than chess tonight you come and do my makeup? It’ll be like a slumber party.” He finished the sentence with a laugh.

Spock tilted his head slightly sideways, “Although I do not know what a slumber party is, I would be willing to help you experiment with makeup. I shall come around at 1900 hours if that is acceptable with you.” Spock emphasised his willingness with a single nod.

Jim clapped his hands together, “Wonderful, I’ll see you then Spock.” And then the captain unlocked his room and headed inside. Jim made no attempt to hide his smile from the Vulcan.

~1850 hours~

Spock was unsure how much to take over to Jim’s room, he could not even work out what colours the captain would want to see on himself. Spock had a fairly large collection of eyeshadows which included a variety of colours, while he did not head out for his shifts with multiple shades covering his eyes that did not mean that he didn’t experiment with colour combinations during his time off. There had so far only been two people he had shared his collection with, Dr McCoy after his own small palette had fallen off a shelf during an attack on the ship which had left the colours cracked into a dirty merge of colours, Spock thought that his willingness to depart with a palette had strengthened the strange friendship he had with the doctor. The other person would be his mother.

Amanda Grayson had been overjoyed when her son became interested in her own extensive collection of makeup. Makeup on Vulcan was a strange topic, there were no taboos over who could and could not wear makeup, but the only time Spock had attended school with eyeshadow he had been taunted. Both he and his mother decided that it would be best to experiment with makeup in the house and then he could decide when he was older whether he wanted to continue. When he attended Starfleet Academy, he had taken to practicing his makeup at night and not wearing it in public, until the night his dormitory had to be evacuated during a fire alarm. That night he had received no taunts and no dirty looks, from that day on he began wearing simple makeup during the day.

He had already reached the conclusion that any base makeup would not match the captain’s golden skin, perhaps if the captain were to find a joy in makeup, then he could purchase some of his own. Spock’s own base makeup was something he took pride in, early on in his interest with makeup both he and his mother had decided that they needed to develop their own shade to match the green tinged Vulcan skin. If he had the correct supplies to develop a golden version of his base products while in space, then perhaps he and Jim could bond over shade selecting. For now, he would have to settle for bonding over eyeshadow selecting.

While Spock knew that no glitter would match the sparkle in Jim’s eyes, he did want to include at least one pale colour to place on the captain’s inner corners. He thought that a blend of matte browns contrasted by a bright shimmer in the corner would suit Jim rather well, perhaps bringing out that honey colour while not dulling his natural mischievous sparkle.

These thoughts about finding colours that would suit Jim’s complexion had lasted for almost 8 minutes before Spock’s own internal clock told him he needed to get ready to leave. He could hardly spend the whole night thinking about Jim rather than going next door and seeing him. It was not as though he had not spent nights thinking of Jim before, as a Vulcan he needed significantly less sleep than humans. He often indulged his human half during those night hours where he lay awake, thinking about just how aesthetically pleasing Jim is. He would only allow himself these thoughts at night, when he knew no one could read them on his face or in his mind. He was fairly ashamed of just how quickly he had fallen for his captain. When Jim had first beamed onboard, Spock noted that the captain was fairly young and was what others would call beautiful. However, after getting to know the man’s personality, he realised just how remarkable their new captain was. He was kind, smart, tactical, friendly, and completely and utterly illogical in every way. Spock was fascinated.

He organised the products that he wanted to try with Jim as well as the brushes he would need, although it may be illogical, Spock preferred to use manual brushes as opposed to the modern electric applicators for makeup. This method allowed him more control during the application, he believed there was also some sentiment behind the method as it was the same that his mother used. All of the products were placed into a black makeup carrier, he was in no way embarrassed by the fact that he wore makeup, but he did feel that a black carrier was more appropriate to himself than any other colour. He picked up the carrier and headed towards the door, he had 73 seconds before he was expected at the captain’s quarters. Against his better judgement, Spock dashed back to his makeup collection and picked up a selection of lip products, he had spent so long thinking of the captain’s eyes that his lips had completely slipped Spock’s mind. Until this moment when they were currently all he could think about. Before meeting James Kirk, Spock had not ever thought of what another person’s lips would feel like. Jim did not have particularly amazing lips, they were not large, but they were not incredibly thin either, they looked like they needed to be kissed. James Kirk had awoken in Spock the desire to kiss and be kissed, to learn why humans enjoyed it so much and why Vulcans hid from it.

The slight delay had at least not caused him to arrive late to the captain’s quarters, however, it was close. Upon reaching the door, he immediately buzzed to announce his arrival. The door swished open and due to his own unfortunate placement of his gaze; he was greeted with Jim’s smiling lips. Spock nodded his head, “Jim, I have brought a selection of products.”

Jim had changed out of his golden command uniform and into a dark grey Starfleet Academy t-shirt with lighter grey sweatpants, Spock felt completely overdressed as he was still in his uniform after he had spent most of the time worrying about what shades to pick. Jim had also washed his face which was good as it would allow Spock to get straight to work. The captain stepped away from the doorway and motioned Spock in with one arm. The Vulcan stepped in, and the door swished behind him. “Where would be the best place for this? Would it be easier at the table or perhaps we could sit on the floor? I probably should have asked this beforehand so that I could clear the table.” Spock almost thought that Jim appeared nervous in the way he was babbling, the Vulcan noticed that when he stopped speaking Jim bite his lip in worry. Perhaps he was nervous. Fascinating.

“I think that sitting on the floor would allow me the best positioning for application.” Spock had managed to banish the thoughts of the captain’s lips from his mind, only for them to be replaced by the sudden realisation of how close he would have to come to Jim to apply the makeup. He felt his heart flutter in his side, this was a reaction out of his control, it was something he would have to address at a later date during meditation. For tonight he will keep Jim happy by showing him how he would look with eyeshadow.

Jim’s smile turned soft, his eyes began to sparkle again, he bounced slightly as he walked away from the door, “Excellent, let’s get to it!” He sat himself down on the floor near his bed, using the solid surface to lean against. His legs were crossed, and he wiggled slightly to get comfortable on the hard floor.

With this position, Spock would have to sit in front of him and lean in fairly close. This was a terrible idea; he would be spending the evening close to Jim’s face in order to apply makeup. There would be no avoiding looking in those eyes or thinking of how his lips would feel. He took this moment between sitting on the floor and getting his products out to gain better control over his fluttering heart and slightly flushed skin. “I have to apologise for the lack of base products, foundation or concealer, my own is a blend created by my mother and I which means that it is unique to my skin tone. I also think you would appreciate not appearing green.” To others, this would appear to be simply a statement, but Spock knew that Jim understood his humour and would find the joke within the words. Immediately Jim let out a small chuckle and his grin grew to show his teeth, Spock allowed himself to smile slightly.

“Yes, I think perhaps there is only one member of our crew that can look beautiful in green.” Jim punctuated this with a wink, the captain’s flirtations had caused the flush to return to Spock’s skin. He already knew that his ears were a deep shade of green by this point, however the foundation on his face allowed his cheeks to remain pale. He knew that the captain used flirtation with all his friends, that this was simply another display of friendship. Spock wondered if he would ever truly understand Jim Kirk.

Spock pulled out a selection of palettes and broke his eye contact with Jim, “I think that with your complexion Jim, a selection of warm brown tones would be acceptable.” Spock opened each palette, pulled out his brushed and found the primer they had previously discussed, “Here is the primer I mentioned, if you would allow me to apply it.”

The two made eye contact again before Jim replied, “Spock you have full rein with my face for the rest of the night! You could make me look like a clown and I wouldn’t mind, I’m simply enjoying seeing you focused on this.” The captains own cheeks were flushed and he closed his eyes with a smile, at this point the green flush had left Spock’s face and ears but he was sure it could return just as quickly if he thought about what he could do with full rein of the captain’s face. Perhaps he would get to feel those lips.

Spock reinforced his mental shielding before applying primer onto Jim’s eyes, he kept one hand placed on the captain’s jaw and gently dabbed the primer onto his eyelids. After the primer was applied, Spock leant back and dropped his hand from Jim’s jaw and picked up one of the fluffy eyeshadow brushes. Jim opened his eyes and watched Spock select which brush he wanted to use, “You don’t use the electric brushes? I would have thought that you’d find them more logical than using the manual ones.”

Spock picked up a palette with the perfect cream colour to use as a base for Jim’s eyes, “I will admit that yes it would be more logical to use an electric style brush, however this is one of the few parts of my life that I allow to be ruled by sentimentality.” He looked up into Jim’s eyes, “I tell you this as an act of friendship Jim, my mother introduced me to the beauty of makeup, and she has always preferred the control of the manual brushes.”

Jim left out a soft sigh, his eyes filled with affection, “Spock, I can’t explain to you just how much that means to me that you’re willing to tell me this. Hell, even that you’re sharing this love of makeup with me, I feel honoured.” A small smile graced the Vulcans features while Jim was wearing perhaps Spock’s favourite smile he had ever seen. This thought showed Spock just how much he had allowed his emotions to control him since meeting the captain.

“Jim, if you could now close your eyes to allow me to apply the base shade. This will allow me to build up other colours and let those colours blend smoothly. It may be preferrable for you to keep your eyes closed until I say.” Spock explained this while looking back to the eyeshadow and swirling his brush in the cream colour. Jim did as he asked and the rest of the process went well, the captain kept his eyes closed while Spock cradled his jaw and applied various shades. He worked the deeper colours outward towards the eyebrow bone as the majority of Jim’s eyelid was hidden and not on display. After he was finished with the deeper shades, Spock selected a shimmer to place in the inner corner of the captain’s eyes, “Jim you may open your eyes for the next part, I will be applying a light colour to the inner corner of your eyes.”

Jim opened his eyes and Spock was fairly shocked at how much he had missed those honey eyes for the short time they were closed. Spock went about placing the shimmer into Jim’s inner corner when the captain spoke up, “Do you know that you poke your tongue out when you’re doing this?” That immediately made Spock freeze and try to figure out at what point his tongue had slid out of his mouth, “Wait no it’s cute!” Jim was smiling again, that sparkle was back in his eye, he slid one of his hands up to graze his first officer’s jaw.

Spock tried to ignore what was happening, instead asking Jim if he wanted to see the eyeshadow in the pocket mirror, he had brought with him. He reached in the carrier and located the mirror, opened it, and held it up to Jim. “Oh my, Spock this is amazing! If you weren’t such a good scientist and first officer, I’d be telling you to run off and become a makeup artist! You only ever use one or two shades on yourself, Spock you could be looking glamourous every shift!”

The Vulcan could count on one hand the number of compliments he had received throughout his life, his species were not one to indulge in compliments. Jim praising him in such a way caused that deep green flush to return to his ears, the captains eyes drew over to the flushed ears and he bit his lip to stop the grin from growing further, “I’m not teasing, your work is amazing. You are incredibly talented, if you’re not careful then you’ll have nurse Chapel and Uhura requesting you for diplomatic events! Possibly even me and Bones!”

Spock just grew more flushed, to the point where he was positive it was showing on his cheeks despite the foundation covering his face. He had not managed to take his eyes off of Jim’s face for the last few minutes, his own eyes flickering consistently down to the captain’s lips. There was no way that Jim could not see how fascinated the Vulcan was with him. The thoughts of Jim’s lips reminded him of the lip products he had brought with him, “Jim would you like to try a lip product?” This would draw the captain away from thinking of Spock’s reactions, it would be a welcome distraction hopefully for all Spock could think of right now was of how Jim’s lips would feel. He knew he was emotionally compromised, if there were an emergency he would not be fit for duty, however he wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment where he was leaned close to Jim.

Jim’s eyes flickered onto Spock’s lips before responding, “I don’t think I could manage anything matte on my lips, do you have any gloss or balms?” He could understand the reasoning behind that, the first time Spock had tried a matte lipstick he was not comfortable with the feeling on his lips. Now he preferred a matte lipstick over any other finish.

Spock nodded and went through the selection he had picked up before leaving, his mother had gifted him a collection of glosses that she bought from a salesperson she encountered while on a journey with his father. He was yet to try them and thought that they would be put to better use with Jim rather than by himself. “Jim you may select any of these for tonight and if you like them then I give them to you.” The captain grinned and placed his hands over Spock’s and observed the three glosses, the Vulcan tried to cover his reaction to feeling Jim’s hands on his own, but a small gasp left his mouth anyway. There was a pale pink gloss, a deep purple gloss, and a bright red. Jim selected the red gloss but didn’t make any attempt to apply it himself, “Spock, I’ve never put lip-gloss on. Would you mind helping me?”

Spock reached out and took the gloss from Jim, purposely allowing their fingers to graze simply because he wanted to. He should not indulge his wants, but he thinks that if he allows himself this then it will prevent him from wanting to touch the captain’s lips. Uncapping the lip-gloss, he placed one hand back on Jim’s jaw and slid the applicator over his lips. The moment felt more intimate than anything Spock had experienced before; he had not noticed how quiet everything was before as all he could focus on was Jim’s breathing. Now though, the only noise was the ever-present hum of the ship. Jim held his breath as he stared at Spock, while Spock held his breath and stared at Jim’s lips.

The captain rubbed his lips together as Spock returned the applicator to the tube, “You know Spock, this is cherry flavoured! Where did you get a cherry flavoured lip-gloss? Have you ever tried anything cherry flavoured?” Jim’s head tilted as he asked the questions.

Spock took a moment to think, he managed to drag his eyes away from Jim’s lips and towards his eyes. “My mother sent them to me, I do not believe I have ever tasted something cherry flavoured,” Spock replied, before he could stop himself, he continued, “Yet.” His eyes went back down to Jim’s lips.

Before he could think about it too long, Jim brought one hand up to cup Spock’s jaw and close the rather small gap between them. The kiss started as nothing more than the placement of two peoples lips together, Spock had little experience with kissing. However, he did pick up skills easily, so when Jim’s tongue came out to lightly graze Spock’s lips, he opened his mouth to allow Jim to continue. With his tongue came the taste of what Spock could assume was cherry, but he was far more interested in tasting Jim himself. Spock made quick work in removing the gloss so that he could taste only Jim. By this point the two men were breathing heavily, they both knew they would have to draw back to catch their breath but neither wanted to break the moment. From their contact, Spock could sense the overwhelming happiness rushing through Jim at the moment.

Spock was the first to draw back, although he gave Jim a second peck on the lips in order to reassure that he had no regret before drawing all the way back. He couldn’t get too far back before Jim wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck and pulled him back in to lean their foreheads together, “You taste like cinnamon. I love cinnamon.” Jim’s voice was breathy, he chuckled through the words, “Please tell me that wasn’t just about the cherry flavour?”

Spock brought his hands up to cup either side of Jim’s face, “I am far more interested in how you taste Jim.” He emphasised his statement with another peck to Jim’s lips. “I have been struggling not to kiss you all night. Jim, I am Vulcan, a race that prides themselves on their control over their emotions. I want nothing more than to kiss you for however long you will let me. I must admit, I believe I am addicted.” Spock’s tone was serious but that did not stop Jim from chuckling and returning the peck. The two men were sat as close as they could be without being on top of each other, Jim’s arms draped across Spock while the Vulcans hands clung to Jim’s face.

The captain tilted his head upwards to gently nudge their noses together, “Spock, if I thought it wouldn’t upset the crew, I’d kiss you on the bridge.” Jim’s wave of happiness washed over again, “I would kiss you for the rest of our days.”

This caused the Vulcan to lean back, away from Jim ever so slightly, and bring his hand between them with two fingers extended. “While we cannot kiss like humans on the bridge, we may kiss like Vulcans. To humans this is a much less intense form of affection, to Vulcans this is the only form of affection allowed in public. If you join me, you will understand why.” From this position he could see the pale green tinge that his own foundation had left on Jim’s forehead.

Jim’s fingers came up to graze Spock’s and the Vulcan allowed his shields to fall completely, using his telepathy to broadcast his own emotions towards Jim. The feeling was incredible, the two of them basking in their emotions while sat on the floor. Although Jim could not process Spock’s emotions completely, he could feel the warmth that the other man sent towards him, “Remind me to thank your mother for her choice in lip-gloss.” Spock leant forward to place his forehead back on Jim’s, closing his eyes and simply savouring the moment shared between them.