It starts one day because Dean breaks his phone. Okay, so maybe not breaks it exactly, but well, he drops it in the toilet because he’s trying to close a stupid ad on Parking Jam 3D but it just keeps opening up the app store and then when he goes back to the game it replays the ad and he tries to close it again but then it opens up the app store again and by the sixth round of app store opening that leads him to almost paying twenty bucks for unlimited hints he gets so frustrated that he lets go of his phone, completely forgetting that he’s currently sitting on the toilet.
“Aw fuck!” he says when he hears the splash.
Of course, being on the toilet means that Dean’s pants are around his ankles, so when he gets up to try and fish his certainly destroyed iPhone out of the water, he trips and falls flat on his face, bare ass up in the air. In probably the most undignified way possible, Dean eventually manages to pull up his jeans and stand back up again. He stares over the bowl of the toilet, sighing at the sight of his phone sunk to the bottom. He cringes, sticking his hand in. It’s not even like there’s anything IN the toilet (thank god he’d been more focused on the stupid game then actually you know, doing his business), but it’s still so embarrassing that Dean doesn’t tell anyone for quite a while. His waterlogged phone now sits wrapped in a towel in his closet, although Dean is sure at this point it’s never going to turn back on.
It’s not actually a problem for the first few days, but on Saturday, Cas goes to run some errands. “Text me if you need anything,” he says and Dean responds “okay,” like an idiot. Just his luck that he remembers about thirty minutes later that he does in fact need something. Because he’s been on a real winning streak lately, he also broke his BBQ fork last week and needs a new one for the summer. But he doesn’t have a phone. And they don’t have a landline because what is this, 2003? Jack is hanging out with some friends (because he actually has some normal-ish friends now that he’s not God) and Sam still lives in the bunker with Eileen, so there’s no way to reach Cas in a timely manner without his phone. How the fuck did he used to survive like this?
Then it hits him. Cas is an angel. He doesn’t need to text him; he can just pray. The explanation for why he’s praying instead of using his cellphone will come later. For now, Dean has found the perfect solution that will delay the inevitable embarrassment by at least a few hours.
Hey Cas. Hope you got your ears on. Need you to pick up a new BBQ fork for me. They should have it in the same aisle where they keep the baking stuff. See you soon. Love you. Um, bye.
It’s been a while since he’s done that. Just talked to the open air, trying to direct his thoughts at his angel. But when Cas gets home in about an hour, he walks in with a brand-new stainless-steel BBQ fork, so it’s fine for now.
Cas manages to notice after a week that Dean has solely been praying to him rather than texting. That and the fact that Sam apparently called him, worried about why Dean hasn’t answered any of his texts in a week, lead to Cas’s confronting him. He sheepishly tells him that he “dropped his phone in some water,” and hasn’t gotten a new one yet. Cas doesn’t question it and just takes him to the Verizon store to get a new iPhone. Sadly, Dean’s progress on Parking Jam 3D is lost forever which sucks because he was almost at level 100. But at least he can go about his day without making Sam think that he’s dead or something (and isn’t it nice that that’s no longer the most plausible reason for why he wouldn’t be answering his phone?)
The strange thing is that after a whole week of it, he’s sort of gotten used to the prayer thing. Any moment he would have normally shot off a quick text to Cas, he just prays to him instead. He’s even gotten used to it doing it in his head rather than out loud, making it accessible in any situation. He still texts Sam and Eileen and Jack and Jody and Claire and anyone else he needs to contact, but with Cas it’s 100% angel radio.
For example, stuck in traffic, running late for a double date dinner with Sam and Eileen, he shoots off a quick prayer.
Could you order the little potato thingies for me? The uh…the gnocchi? Get me a plate of that. And don’t let Sam eat all the green olives. Those are my favorite. Love you. Bye.
It’s like a weird, one-sided phone call, but it gets the job done. When he arrives at the nice Italian restaurant Sam picked out, a waitress hands him a bowl of those little potato pasta things and there’s a handful of green olives set aside for him. Delicious.
It comes in handy at the farmers market the next week when he gets separated from Cas and Jack. He simply throws out a quick I’m by the “Shirley’s Strawberry Farm” booth and is reunited with his family in seconds. And there’s little moments throughout the day where he uses it. He prays bring a set of AA batteries when you come in here. The remote’s dead from the living room and can you bring me a diet Dr. Pepper? from the kitchen, or even once hey, can you get me some toilet paper? from the bathroom which is especially convenient since he now refuses to bring his new phone anywhere near a toilet.
Naturally, the fact that this casual prayer thing has so many positive applications means there’s bound to be some negative ones. Like when they get into a very stupid fight that started off on a completely different topic than what it’s currently on. Cas leaves to take a breather, trying to calm down, which is probably a good idea. However, Dean isn’t done with his argument. So, he silently rattles off …and one more thing Cas! You always… before hearing “DEAN, SHUT UP!” from down the hall. This turns around though during his next argument with Sam.
“Come on! There’s no way he could beat him. It’s just basic logic,” Sam says.
“Logic? Indy could totally kick Han’s ass. I love Han, but he’s reckless and Indy is much smarter. And sexier,” Dean says.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know, but it’s true,” Dean says, “And it’s also true that he could destroy Han Solo.”
“Bullshit. And I’m pretty sure Han is better looking.”
“What would you know about that? You’re straight,” Dean points out.
“I have eyes. And a brain that tells me that Han would absolutely beat Indy.”
Dean rolls his eyes, and then goes quiet. Hey Cas. Settle something for us. Who would win in a fight, Han Solo or Indiana Jones? Sam gives him a strange look, but a second later Cas walks into the room.
“Well, they are both good with firearms if we’re referring to a physical fight, but Indiana is also much cleverer and is skilled with many other weapons as well as hand to hand combat, making him a more well-rounded fighter. So, I believe that he would win in what I assume is a hypothetical scenario.”
“Ha!” Dean says, “I was right!”
“That doesn’t prove anything,” Sam says, “What does Cas know?”
“He’s seen all the movies. And he doesn’t have all the cultural baggage to cloud his judgment. He’s objective.”
“Okay, okay. Fine. Indy would beat Han. You win,” Sam relents.
“Okay now answer me this Cas. Who is sexier? Han or Indy?”
Cas actually blushes and does not make eye contact with Dean as he betrays him by saying Han Solo.
“Take that! I was right!” Sam says smugly. Then he looks back and forth between Dean and Cas and laughs.
“What?” Dean asks, now very annoyed, “What’s so funny?”
Sam looks between them again and laughs harder. “Oh nothing. It’s just that…makes sense.”
“What makes sense? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Well, you know, Han Solo is sarcastic, reckless, cocky, but also loyal and tough and…”
“Oh, shut up, Sam!” Dean says, cheeks turning bright red.
Okay. Well, he figures it’s not exactly a bad thing to be compared to Han Solo. Han fucking rules! But that doesn’t mean he thinks Indy’s hotter because he’s like Cas. Sure, Cas is intellectual and brave and speaks many languages and…okay yeah maybe Sam has a point.
“Hey Cas?” he says.
“You wouldn’t happen to own a fedora, would you?”
Sam puts his head in his hands and groans. That’s the end of that argument.
Dean gets very good at praying while in the middle of a conversation. Case in point, when he’s checking out at the grocery store, he sends a quick I need the Shopping Savers Club card. It’s in your wallet while making small talk with the cashier. Or when they’re at the block party and his recently divorced neighbor Linda is telling him about something very boring very enthusiastically and slowly inching closer and closer into his personal bubble. He sends a please come over here and show this lady that I’m taken. I don’t think she believes that I’m with a man, and Cas swoops in and saves him like a knight and shining armor. Linda is very taken aback by the definitely-lasts-a-little-too-long kiss on the mouth that Cas gives him followed by a “hey gorgeous” from Dean. Funny how she’s suddenly really hungry and must find whoever is grilling the burgers.
One of his favorite ways to pray is when they’re watching movies in a group. He’s always enjoyed pointing out little things to Cas, explaining certain parts or letting him know when his favorite scene is coming up. And Cas actually seems to enjoy it too. Sam always has to ruin it though by telling him to shut up. Apparently, he thinks it’s “distracting.” Well Dean thinks he’s enhancing the experience. Luckily, he’s found a suitable workaround. Now he can tell Cas all about how they made it look like the hair was growing in An American Werewolf in London. It’s reverse!! And even though that’s fucking awesome, Sam’s probably heard it from him about 500 times, so he sends it to Cas through the power of prayer instead. See Cas. The whole thing is practical. No computers at all! Fucking crazy man. Afterwards, Cas questions the accuracy in the depiction of werewolves, but he does admit that the effects are pretty cool.
He also ends up using his newly found favorite form of communications for um, other things that whoever invented prayer (Chuck maybe? The angels?) definitely didn’t intend. It’s not a kinky thing. He swears. It’s entirely practical. The unfortunate fact is that their bedroom shares a wall with the guest room in their house. And maybe one night Sam and Eileen end up staying over and Dean has some wine and gets a bit handsy and one thing leads to another and he’s trying very, very hard to not be overheard by his brother while he gets railed by his boyfriend. He can actually see the surprise on Cas’s face when he first sends out a yeah, right there. To his delight, Cas quickly gets on board, enthusiastically responding to his prayers of more, harder and fuck, that’s good. Just like that. It gets intense, doing it like this in complete silence. So okay, maybe it turns out to be a bit of a kinky thing. And if some angel or god or whatever has a problem with it, then they’re probably just jealous they didn’t think of it first.
Sometimes, using prayer is a whole different thing. Not practical or lazy or kinky or anything like that. It’s in those moments like at Jody’s Christmas party when they’re standing at opposite sides of the room, and they briefly make eye contact. When Dean sends Cas an I love you and Cas sends back a smile. Or when they’re in bed late at night. The only sounds they can hear are the chirping crickets and the wind in the trees. Dean sends I’m happy you’re here and Cas, who has taken to sleeping despite not needing to, pulls him onto his chest, stroking his hand along Dean’s spine. When they wake up in the morning, he prays good morning handsome. Cas kisses him on the forehead. And maybe dropping his iPhone in the toilet is the greatest thing Dean has ever done.