Two teenage dinosaurs, Ruby the oviraptor and her friend Amber the corythosaurus, were hiking in the woods at Yosemite National Park. They, being daredevils, had gone off the marked trails and had been exploring caves and waterfalls. After spending hours of unauthorized exploring, they were very hungry and thirsty and stopped for a lunch break.
The two had come prepared, bringing several liters of soda as well as tacos (they had already cooked the meat earlier), nachos, Doritos, and a salad. They were so thirsty that they drank at least three liters of soda each. After they were done with their lunch, their resumed hiking.
However, it wasn't long before they started to feel pain in their bladders. "I really have to pee but there is no place around here where I can go pee at!" Ruby said.
"I know. And unfortunately we can't just whip our dicks out and piss quickly like boys can." Amber sighed.
They continued for ten more minutes, trying their best to get back to the trail and find a porta-potty.
Finally, the two girls felt that they could hold it no longer and would have to go in the woods or they would pee themselves. So they two headed off into the trees. Even though it was unlikely anyone was on this path, the last thing they wanted was for some boys to see them half-naked taking a leak.
"I've never done this before." Amber said, feeling awkward.
"Neither have I but I figure if boys can do it all the time, so can us girls."
And so they took off theirs jeans and pulled down their underwear, leaving them butt-naked. Below Ruby, a colony of ants was marching about, unaware of its peril. As she was about to pee, a mosquito landed on Ruby's naked rear and bit her. "Get off you stupid mosquito!" she snapped, swatting at it.
"Guess this is one disadvantage of taking a piss in the woods." Amber sighed.
As the two bent into a squat, one ant noticed their vaginas poised above them and began to shake a passing ant, trying to warn him. The other ant, however, couldn't be bothered to pay attention and kept walking. The alert ant fled alone as Ruby's urethral slit opened and the oviraptor began to urinate.
PSSSSSSST! Piss cascaded down like a waterfall, landing on the ants below and sleeping them away. Beside Ruby, Amber also began to pee, her urine stream mixing with Ruby's and streaming into the ant colony and starting to drown the ants below ground. The two peed for over two whole minutes, so full were their bladders. By the time the last drops of urine had fallen, the ant colony had been reduced to a foaming puddle of urine and mud.
The two teenage girls pulled back on their underwear and pants and set off hiking again. After twenty more minutes of hiking, they had had to make two more pit stops in the woods to pee. They now had another problem, however, besides the need to pee yet again. They had to poop.
They tried their best to get back to the path and find a porta-potty or outhouse, but the further they walked, the more they felt the urge to go. Their stools had already been loosened by what they ate for lunch. Finally, they felt that they could hold it in no longer.
"I gotta shit!" Amber moaned.
"I can't believe we're gonna have to shit in the woods like a fucking bear!" the corythosaurus sighed.
"We have to do what we have to do so we might as well do it and not keep bitching about it."
And so the two dinosaurs once more headed into the trees and once more took off their pants and underwear, leaving them half-naked. "What am I going to use to wipe my ass with? We have no toilet paper!" Amber asked.
"We'll don't have toilet paper so we'll have to make do with what we do have. We can use these leaves on the ground to wipe our behinds." Ruby replied.
And so they began to defecate. Some ants below dodged urine pouring from Amber's urethra only to get flattened by a log of feces that fell out of her open anus. The two continued to urinate and defecate until their bladders and rectums were empty.
Both of them wiped with leaves. "Eccch, I got shit on my hands!" Amber cried frantically, wiping the fecal stains on some grass. Ruby had also gotten some poop on her hands but hadn't been a drama queen like Amber and merely wiped it off on the grass as well. The two put their clothes back on and resumed hiking. Behind them, they could hear flies buzzing, feasting on the scat they had left behind.
The two eventually made their way back to the trails. They decided that, if they were going to venture off the trail in the future, they would bring along portable urinals and some toilet paper.