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what could've been

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The sky was starting to turn dark when Sarah pulled up to the house Beth Childs had given her the address of. She craned her neck in an attempt to see into the windows, trying to see if there were other people in the house. She sighed and turned to Felix.

“I have to go in.” She started, not allowing Felix to try and talk her out of it.

Her adopted brother rolled his eyes. “You’re really trusting some woman who looks just like you? After she almost killed herself in front of you?” He scoffed. “Looks like Vic really rubbed off on you.”

Sarah shook her head. “Fe, Beth has answers. I need to know why there’s a woman walking around with my face.”

He didn’t answer for a moment. “This better be worth it. I’m already getting pimples from this disgusting suburbia.” He looked at himself in the rearview mirror and pointed to his chin. “See! There’s already a red spot!”

She chuckled to herself as she got out of the car. “Just… stay here, yeah? I might need back up.”

“Back up?” He asked. “I’m not back up!”

Before closing the door, she said, “Don’t talk to anyone.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

She closed the car door and made her way to the house. She was glad that she had driven past the day before, but she wondered why someone like Beth Childs would choose to live in Scarborough. It didn’t make sense to her, but she didn't question it. She also didn’t question the fact that Beth seemed to have gotten bangs the day after Sarah saved her, and that she started to dress in bright clothes.

It made Sarah realize that she knew little to nothing about Beth other than she had her face. From their first meeting, Sarah never would have guessed that Beth would drive a minivan and look like a soccer mom, but life was full of surprises.

She made her way through the back, hopping the fence and picking the lock of the door. She snuck through the dark living room, keeping her footsteps quiet so she didn’t disturb anyone in the house.

She was almost successful if the lights hadn’t flicked on and “Beth” wasn’t pointing a pistol in her face. She was wearing a cable knit white sweater and her hair was falling down past her shoulders. 

Sarah threw her hands up. “What the fuck, Beth?”

“Beth” readjusted her grip on the handle of the pistol. “Beth? I’m not Beth.”

“Who the fuck are you then?”

After a moment footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. Beth appeared around the corner, stepping into the scene of the other woman with Sarah’s face pointing a gun at her.

“Whoa, whoa, Alison! Put the gun down! I told her to come here!” She said, stepping in front of Alison, making the other woman put down the pistol.

Alison was glaring at Sarah from over Beth’s shoulder. Sarah’s fight or flight mode kicked in, and she could feel her body tense up. Her hands clenched at her sides. Beth turned to her.

“So you showed up.”

“Of course I showed up. I want answers as to why you, and her, have my bloody face.”

Beth took a deep breath and turned back to Alison. “Has Cosima called yet?”

Alison shook her head. “Not yet. She should be soon.”

Beth ran a hand through her hair. “It’s probably better if she explains it.”

The other woman nodded in agreement.

“Who’s Cosima?” Sarah asked.

Beth sat on the couch in the living room, letting out a deep sigh. “She’s another one of us.”

Sarah was confused. “What does that mean?”

Alison rolled her eyes. “We’re clones!” She snapped. “We’re someone’s experiment and they’re killing us off!”

Shock and even more confusion washed over Sarah like a wave. “Clones?”

Beth nodded into her hand. “I told you it was complicated.”

Sarah took a moment to actually look at the two women in front of her. Beth looked different now than she did at the train station. Her hair was pulled back like it had been that night, but she was wearing a worn Leaside High School girl’s basketball sweatshirt. She was wearing black jeans and black sneakers. Alison, on the other hand, had her hair neatly straightened and it fell just past her shoulders. She wore a white cable knit sweater along with denim jeans and she was in socks. Around her neck hung a silver cross pendant on a matching silver chain. She wore a watch on her left hand and had a wedding ring on her right ring finger.

These two women were the polar opposites of each other and of Sarah.

She felt substantially underdressed in her ripped black jeans, her years worn combat boots, an equally as worn AC/DC shirt and her leather jacket.

A moment passed when the ringing sound started, causing Alison to scurry up the stairs. She was back down in a moment, placing a computer on the table in front of Beth. Beth tapped the answer button on the incoming video call, and pushed a small smile onto her face as the call connected.

“Hey, Beth.” A woman’s voice greeted. “Where’s Ali?”

“She’s here.” Beth said, turning the computer to face Alison.

Alison waved at the computer. “How was your trip, Cosima?”

The woman on the screen nodded. “It was fine. Got stuck in some traffic between Wisconsin and Minnesota, but I got here.”

So this was the Cosima that Beth had mentioned before. Despite the same face, she looked totally different than Beth and Alison. She had thick framed black glasses, and Sarah could see thick lines of eyeliner around her eyes. She had a nose ring and wore rings on all of her fingers. She was wearing a purple and black crop top. The difference that stood out the most, however, was her hair. Unlike Alison’s neat hair, or Beth’s pulled back hair, or even Sarah’s messy hair, Cosima had her hair twisted into dark dreadlocks.

Sarah tried her best to stay out of Cosima’s view, but the other woman had a quick eye.

“Who’s behind you, Alison?” She asked.

Sarah stepped into the camera’s view. Cosima’s eyes widened as Sarah got closer.

“There’s another?” She asked, stupidly.

“I’m Sarah.” She said, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

“And she’s English?” Cosima asked. “Wow, okay. Whoever did this must be more global than we thought.”

Beth nodded in agreement. “So who knows how many more of us are out there.”

Alison sighed. “Well, we know about the German,” she said, “now Sarah.”

“Katja,” Beth said, “her name is Katja.”

Alison waved her off.

“Did you give her The Speech?” Cosima asked.

“The clone speech? Yeah, Alison just blurted out that we’re bloody clones.” Sarah said. Alison started to protest, but a look from Beth made her quiet down.

Cosima sighed. “I would have done it in a more gentle way, so I’m sorry you had to find out that way. At least you know the truth now.”

The group discussed theories late into the night until Cosima had to hang up. Sarah was about to leave when there was a rustle outside, causing Alison to pick up her pistol and venture into her backyard.

Beth and Sarah stood in the door, watching Alison patrol her yard until she was out of sight. 

There was a yelp that sounded too much like Felix, and when Sarah heard the panic in his voice, she threw open the door and stormed into the yard.

She saw Alison pointing her pistol at Felix, who had his hands up, looking like he was about to faint. Alison was shouting questions at him. Felix stumbled over his answers until Sarah grabbed Alison by the shoulder and turned her to face her. She slapped Alison, and she gasped, dropping her gun and holding her cheek.

“You ever point a gun at my brother again, I’ll beat the shit out of you, you hear me?” She snapped.

Alison nodded with tears in her eyes.

“You just broke the first rule of Clone Club.” Beth said, leaning on the doorframe.

“I don’t give a fuck about your rules.” Sarah snapped. “Don’t point a gun at my brother.”

“I’m sorry.” Alison whimpered.

“I don’t give a fuck about any of this.” Sarah said. “Clones, you, Beth, any of this bullshit.”

“If you don’t give a fuck, then why are you here?” Beth asked, moving from the doorframe and stepping up to Sarah. 

“It was you who told me to come here because I had questions.” Sarah hissed.

Beth and Sarah were nearly nose to nose. “And we gave you answers.”

Sarah scoffed and turned away. She grabbed Felix by the cuff of his jacket sleeve and unlocked the yard’s gate.

“Yeah, well, I don’t need any bloody answers from someone who tried to kill themselves.”

With that and Alison’s confused exclamation, Sarah pushed open the gate and brought Felix with her.