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heaven & back

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Kaminari practically bounces on his heels as he and Hitoshi walk back to their apartment from the train station. He’s clinging to Hitoshi’s arm with both hands, tugging him along and urging him to walk faster.

“Patience, baby,” Hitoshi murmurs, but he knows there’s no slowing Kaminari down once he has his mind set on something.

That ‘something’ being sex.

“Ugh, hurry up!” Kaminari gripes. “You’re like an old man.”

“Check the attitude, please and thank you.”

Kaminari huffs, but he doesn’t speak out again. He pulls his scarf up around his face, but Hitoshi knows he must be pouting behind the fabric.

As they wait for a traffic light to cross the street, Hitoshi brushes some of Kaminari’s long hair out of his face and tucks it behind his ear. Yep, definitely pouting. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s looking pointedly away.

“You’ll get wrinkles, pet.”

“You’re going to send me to an early grave, anyway,” Kaminari says with a sniff.

“And I want to enjoy your beautiful face every moment until then,” Hitoshi counters, caressing his cheek. “So quit scowling.”

Kaminari doesn’t, of course. When the light changes, he’s instantly pulling on Hitoshi’s sleeve again, causing him to stumble off the curb. Hitoshi rolls his eyes, but he picks up the pace, anyway.

As much as he gives Kaminari shit for his impatience, he’s itching to get back home, too. Kaminari was teasing him all night at dinner, playing an unrequited footsie under the table, fluttering those long lashes of his, and flaunting that thin, black choker he only seems to wear when he really wants to rile Hitoshi up.

The choker is nice, but Hitoshi thinks his own hands look much better around Kaminari’s neck.

Kaminari’s mood visibly brightens as their building comes into view, and the bounce returns to his step. He slips his hand into Hitoshi’s and practically drags him along, up the walk and into the apartment.

Inside the elevator, Kaminari drapes his arms over Hitoshi’s shoulders. His honey-brown eyes are sparkling, and the grin plastered across his face makes Hitoshi’s heart flip in his chest.

Hitoshi returns the smile, then kisses Kaminari softly on the forehead. Kaminari scrunches his nose and gives a small sigh of appreciation.

“See, that’s a much cuter expression,” Hitoshi muses, which causes Kaminari to instantly frown again.

“Hush, you.”

Hitoshi pulls him in closer by his waist before giving him another kiss, this time on his nose.

They part as the elevator reaches their floor. They might be sappy and totally enamored with each other, but Hitoshi has at least some sense of decency. Decency that he wishes Kaminari would have a little more of, but who is he to complain? Kaminari is such a catch that Hitoshi will happily put up with his blatant PDA.

Hitoshi’s still shocked Kaminari even agreed to go on that first date. Or become his boyfriend. Or move in together. Or agree to marry him.

Hitoshi laces their hands back together as they walk the hall to their door, then fumbles with the keys to unlock the door. Once inside, he takes off and hangs his coat up in the coat closet, then takes Kaminari’s scarf and coat and hangs them up as well.

Kaminari waits, clutching his hands behind his back. He bites his bottom lip and looks up at Hitoshi, expectant.

This rule, at least, Kaminari always follows.

“Go change and wait for me in the bedroom.”

“Anything in particular you want me to wear?”

Hitoshi tilts his head. “Hmmmm.” He doesn’t actually have to think about it, since he’d already decided on the walk over, but he knows that every second he makes Kaminari wait is just going to rile him up even more, and Hitoshi loves seeing just how far he can bend his lover before he breaks.

Hitoshi grabs Kaminari’s left hand, and kisses the small, gold band on his ring finger. Hitoshi has a matching band in silver.

“How about just this?” he murmurs as he casts his eyes up.

A giddy smile on his face, Kaminari gives a quick nod before he hurries down the hall. While Kaminari changes, Hitoshi freshens himself up in the bathroom.

Once done, he joins Kaminari in the bedroom. Kaminari’s tied his long hair up into a messy half-bun, and as ordered, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed fully undressed, minus the glint of metal on his hand. It’s clear he’s waiting anxiously, though, foot tapping the floor and hands unable to settle anywhere for more than a second.

Hitoshi takes a moment to admire him. ‘Pretty’ is always the first word that comes to mind when he looks at his fiancé. He’s lithe and toned, with big, bright eyes and those silky blond tresses Hitoshi hopes he never cuts.

Hitoshi’s eyes drop. Kaminari’s already hard from the sheer anticipation, his slender, pale cock waiting in the open air. It must be driving him crazy.

And yet, Hitoshi can’t help but take his time walking over to the closet to undress, a smirk growing on his face. He carefully unbuttons his shirt, drops it in the hamper, then stretches his arms above his head.

Behind him, Kaminari whines, obviously bothered by Hitoshi’s pace.

He looks back over his shoulder and gives Kaminari a disapproving look. “Something wrong, baby?”

Kaminari shuffles in place, then sits on his hands. “No.”


Hitoshi removes his belt and takes his time wrapping it and putting it away, then peels off his pants and tosses them in the hamper, too. When he finally closes the closet door and turns around, he can see the impatience Kaminari’s trying—and failing—to keep off his face.

He joins Kaminari on the bed, sitting beside him and placing a hand on his thigh.

“Kiss?” Hitoshi asks, and Kaminari happily obliges, wrapping his arms around Hitoshi’s shoulders as they kiss.

Hitoshi brings his hand up to caress Kaminari’s face as they kiss, his thumb rubbing Kaminari’s soft cheek. When the kiss breaks, he presses their foreheads together.

Hitoshi breathes Kaminari in. He smells intoxicatingly sweet, almost like sugar or whipped cream. Kaminari’s own warm breath splashes across Hitoshi’s face, light and comforting.

“What do you want tonight, baby?” Hitoshi asks softly.

Kaminari has his answer ready. “I want you to choke me.”


“And I want you to fuck me.”

“That’s a given. Anything else, sweetheart?”

“I want you to be rough. Really rough.”

Hitoshi can’t help the smirk that tugs at his lips. All of the waiting he’d made Kaminari do is clearly paying off.

“Bruise me,” Kaminari adds, voice strained. “Scratch me, bite me, hurt me, choke me, fuck me, ‘Toshi…”

Hitoshi can tell it’s taking Kaminari a lot of effort to keep himself in line.


“And you’re ready, baby?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m ready.”

Hitoshi brings the hand he had on Kaminari’s face down to his neck, but he doesn’t tighten his grip just yet. He can hear the change in Kaminari’s breathing, though, can hear the way he gasps in anticipation. Kaminari leans closer, and his lips part wider as he takes a shaky inhale.

“Babe,” Kaminari whines when Hitoshi’s fingers don’t tighten. “Please don’t make me beg tonight.”

“Shhh, don’t worry, pet.”

“Baby, come on—”

He’s cut off by a kiss. 

Hitoshi roughly shoves their mouths together, kisses wet and insistent, swallowing Kaminari’s choked words. As they kiss, he gives the softest squeeze to Kaminari’s neck, and Kaminari sighs in pleasure.

When they pull away, Kaminari’s eyes are closed and his mouth is pulled into a soft smile.

“Harder,” he says, already breathless from excitement.

Hitoshi runs his thumb across Kaminari’s bottom lip. “No. Not yet.”

When Kaminari begins to whine, Hitoshi hooks his thumb into his mouth.

“So needy.”

He makes a noise of disappointment, but then Kaminari closes his mouth around Hitoshi’s thumb and begins to suck, looking up at him through his eyelashes with those big doe eyes of his as if it’ll convince Hitoshi to change his mind.

It might, if Hitoshi didn’t have a plan to absolutely ruin Kaminari before the night is over. He pulls his hand back and gives Kaminari a consoling pat on the face, then angles himself on the bed and pats his knees.

“Bend over, sweetheart.”

Kaminari does as he’s told and bends over Hitoshi’s knees, settling onto his elbows as his legs hang off Hitoshi’s lap.

Once settled, Kaminari wiggles his hips.

HItoshi hums an amused chuckle. “So cute,” he coos, grabbing Kaminari’s ass. He squeezes and digs into the soft flesh with his fingernails, and although Kaminari makes a small noise of discomfort, he knows not to pull back.

“Soo, cute,” Hitoshi says again, but this time he winds his hand back and slaps Kaminari’s right cheek with a loud crack!

Kaminari whimpers and fists his hands into the sheets.

“Such a pretty thing.”

Hitoshi slaps him again, and this time Kaminari cries out.


Hitoshi massages his ass for a moment, before he reels back and slaps him again. Then again, on the other cheek, and again, and again, until the pale skin of his ass has turned a ruddy pink, each hit accompanied with a whine.

Giving Kaminari a break, Hitoshi trails his fingers across the abused skin, rubbing soothing circles. He runs his hands down the backs of Kaminari’s thighs, too.

Kaminari’s legs are trembling, and Hitoshi can see precum leaking from his swollen, red cock.

“Does it hurt, baby?”

“Y-yes,” Kaminari says, but the excitement in his voice is clear.

Hitoshi grabs Kaminari’s ass and jiggles it in his hand, giving a light chuckle. “Good.”

He then spreads his asscheeks apart, and rubs his thumb across Kaminari’s asshole. Before he can even ask, Kaminari nods and gives an enthusiastic, “Yes, please!”

Hitoshi teasingly traces a finger around him, and Kaminari shifts in place and spreads his legs slightly apart.

“No teasing,” he says with an air of authority.

“Aww, not even a little?” Hitoshi asks.


Hitoshi slaps Kaminari’s ass again. “No?”

“No… sir.”

“Better. You’re so feisty tonight.” Hitoshi leans over Kaminari’s back so he can reach around him with his right hand.

“Open,”  Hitoshi orders, and when Kaminari drops his mouth open, Hitoshi presses two fingers against his tongue. “Get these nice and wet for me, okay, baby?”

Kaminari makes a small noise of affirmation, then swirls his tongue around Hitoshi’s fingers, licking and sucking with an adorable desperation.

Once he’s satisfied, his fingers dripping with Kaminari’s spit, Hitoshi sits back up so he can push a single finger into Kaminari’s ass.

Kaminari whines a low “Yessss,” as Hitoshi slowly spears into him, feeling Kaminari’s ass clench around him.

“So tight, baby. You sure you can take a cock in here?”

“I can take it,” Kaminari assures, arching his back.

“Hmm, really? Tiny thing like you, I’m afraid I’ll split you open.”

“I can —ah!— I can take it! Gimme more, ‘Toshi, feels good!” Kaminari’s hands shake with strain as he clutches at the sheets.

“Hmm, maybe I should be careful…”

“No, no,” Kaminari pleads. “I promise I can take it, ‘Toshi! Promise! Please— ungh, fuck—please give it to me!”

Hitoshi chuckles. They both know that with proper stretching and time, Kaminari can take much bigger than Hitoshi’s dick, but he loves listening to Kaminari beg like that. “Well, in that case…”

Knowing he’ll need more lubrication, Hitoshi once again spreads Kaminari’s asscheeks apart. He leans over and puckers his lips so he can let spit trail from his mouth, landing on Kaminari’s ass right where he needs it.

He then skips adding a second finger, and moves immediately to three.

“Ah, ah! Oh, fuck, fuck!” Kaminari presses his face into the sheets and moans as his hole clenches tight around Hitoshi’s fingers. Hitoshi gives him a moment to adjust and listens to Kaminari’s slow, labored breaths.

“Damn, you really are a slut. Look at you taking three fingers so easily. Good boy.”

“I-I told you I can take it…” Kaminari whimpers into the sheets. He turns his head to the side, and Hitoshi can see that his face is screwed up, but he can’t tell if it’s pleasure or pain.

He taps twice on Kaminari’s back. “Okay?”

Kaminari nods, and reaches down to tap twice back on Hitoshi’s leg.

“Okay, baby.” Hitoshi then starts to slowly pump his fingers in and out of Kaminari’s ass, carefully stretching him open.

Once he feels confident Kaminari can take another, he adds a fourth finger, as well as more spit. The sounds Kaminari makes are absolutely delicious, but they're muffled by the bed, so Hitoshi fists his other hand into Kaminari’s hair and yanks his head back.

“Ha-ah!” Kaminari cries out.

“You ready for me to fuck you, baby?”

“Yes, ah! Yes!”

Hitoshi tugs harshly on Kaminari’s hair. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want you to fuck me!”

He pulls harder, forcing Kaminari’s head back as far as it’ll go.

“Yes what, baby?”

“Yes, sir!”

“There you go,” Hitoshi laughs. When he releases Kaminari’s hair, he collapses back onto the bed. Hitoshi gives a few soft slaps to Kaminari’s still red ass, then says, “Come here, baby.”

Hitoshi adjusts so that he can pick Kaminari up and carry him in his arms. Once situated, with his legs wrapped around Hitoshi’s waist, Kaminari grabs his face with both hands.

“Kiss?” he asks, and Hitoshi puckers his lips in response.

They kiss as Hitoshi carries him around to the top of the bed. He lets Kaminari be the first to pull away, but as soon as he does, he harshly throws him down onto the bed.

There’s an excited glint in Kaminari’s eye, and his hands land up on either side of his head. He gives a short, breathy giggle.

Hitoshi knows how much Kaminari loves to be manhandled. He’s grateful for all the years of crossfit training his mentor made him do; Kaminari might be lithe, but he’s still a fully grown man. The only reason Hitoshi keeps going to the gym these days is so he can keep tossing his fiancé around like a ragdoll.

“On your hands and knees.”

Kaminari does as instructed, and Hitoshi takes this opportunity to finally peel off his boxers. His dick springs free, and he gives himself a few quick strokes as he gets on the bed behind Kaminari.

“You sure you can take it, baby?” Hitoshi teases as he slaps his dick on Kaminari’s ass a few times.

“Just fuck me, Hitoshi.”

“Say please.”

“Please fuck me, Hitoshi?” Kaminari says, with much the same exasperated tone.

Hitoshi roughly scratches his nails down Kaminari’s back, over his already sore ass, and down his legs. Kaminari arches his back and gives a pleasured whine that effectively stops his complaining.

Hitoshi places his dick between Kaminari’s ass cheeks, but instead of pushing in like Kaminari wants, he lazily grinds between his crack.

“‘Toshiii, please,” Kaminari begs again, shoving his ass higher in the air as Hitoshi continues to rut against his ass. “You’re being mean.”

“I’m being very, very nice. It’s not my fault you’re a desperate whore.”

Kaminari whimpers at the degradation, but snaps his mouth shut.

Even though he knows Kaminari can take a fair bit of teasing, Hitoshi keeps a careful eye on Kaminari’s reactions to make sure he isn’t pushing too far. Once, early in their relationship, he’d called Kaminari a “slut” one too many times in bed and watched him burst into tears, whimpering promises that he wasn’t fucking anyone else, and did Hitoshi really think of him like that?

They’d had a conversation about it, and compromised a balance between praise and degradation, but Hitoshi never let Kaminari know just how much of a turn-on it was to see him cry like that. He felt guilty, since Kaminari was so genuinely upset. And it was admittedly quite sweet, knowing that Kaminari cared enough to reassure Hitoshi over and over that he wasn’t seeing anyone else, but all Hitoshi wanted to do was fuck into his pretty mouth and watch more of those pretty tears spill down his face.

But instead, Hitoshi is careful. A working relationship is about compatibility and compromise, and Hitoshi would rather have Kaminari with a few compromises than lose him altogether.

“You want my cock, sweetheart?”

Kaminari nods vigorously, but his mouth says shut.

Hitoshi smiles and hums. “How can I say no to such a pretty boy like you?”

“Please, ‘Toshi…”

Using one hand to brace himself against Kaminari’s ass, Hitoshi begins slowly pushing his dick inside, past that tight ring of muscles. Kaminari gasps and pushes his hips back, trying to take him in faster, but Hitoshi holds him still.

“Look at you, you take my cock so well. Such a good baby boy, such a perfect slut for me.”

“Only for you, ‘Toshi!” Kaminari cries, voice warbly. Hitoshi can tell this slow pace is driving him insane, but he just needs Kaminari to hold out a little longer...

Hitoshi bottoms out, groaning as Kaminari’s ass swallows his dick to the hilt.

“Baby…” Kaminari’s voice is weak. He’s close to his breaking point, but Hitoshi just needs a little more...

Hitoshi slaps his ass. “Who’s ass is this?”

“Yours, ‘Toshi.”

Hitoshi leans over Kaminari, pressing their warm bodies flush together. He wraps one arm around Kaminari’s chest and holds himself up with the other. Pressing a few soft kisses against Kaminari’s neck, he listens to the sweet little whimpers coming from his throat.

“Who do you belong to?”

“You, baby. Only you.”

Hitoshi bites Kaminari’s earlobe, his jaw. His arms are shaking, though Hitoshi’s sure it’s not from lack of strength. Though he’s shorter and thinner, Kaminari’s more fit than he is.

“That’s right,” Hitoshi peppers another few kisses on his lover’s face. “And I’m yours, baby. Kiss?”

Kaminari instantly turns his head so they can lock their lips together. He’s insistent, anxious energy undercutting each kiss, lick, and bite, but Hitoshi does his best to reel him in, to again force him to go at that slow, languid pace.

When they pull away, Kaminari’s voice is broken. “Baby, please, this is driving me crazy, please just fuck me…”

“Hmm…” Hitoshi gives two soft taps to Kaminari’s chest to check in, but in return, Kaminari shakes his head and gives a choked, dry sob. He taps the bed in front of him only once.

“‘You said you’d be rough, ‘Toshi, please, I can’t anymore! I’ve been good!”

“I know, baby, you’ve been so good,” Hitoshi assures, pressing a final kiss on Kaminari’s temple. “Thank you for being patient.”

With that, he pulls himself back up, grabs Kaminari’s hips, drags his dick almost all the way out, then slams back in with a harsh snap of his hips.

“Ah, fuck!”

Hitoshi rails into his ass at a brutal pace, while Kaminari blubbers his satisfaction with loud moans and choked expletives.

“Shit, so tight baby, you feel so good,” Hitoshi grunts. With every thrust, Kaminari lurches forward on the bed, his hands scrabbling desperately for purchase.

Hitoshi digs his nails into Kaminari’s tiny waist, so hard that it’ll probably be bruised purple tomorrow. Kaminari just cries out his pleasure, his whines getting lost into the bedsheets.

“Ah! Nng—oh fuck, fuck, yes, harder!”

Hitoshi picks up the pace, groaning as he slams into Kaminari’s ass. He feels so good, so tight around his dick. A heady pressure is steadily building deep in his gut, only aided by the adorable mess of mewls spilling from Kaminari’s lips.


Slowing so he can thrust deeper, Hitoshi gives three hard thrusts, skin slapping together and reverberating around the walls of the bedroom.


Hitoshi pulls all the way out, and Kaminari wails. But before he can cry too much, Hitoshi climbs off the bed and pulls Kaminari toward him, roughly flipping him onto his back and forcing his legs up and open. He lines his dick back up with Kaminari’s ass, and resumes thrusting into Kaminari once more. Standing above him like this, Hitoshi is able to thrust harder, deeper, each slick glide into Kaminari’s ass feeling like a wet dream against his throbbing cock.

Kaminari lifts his hips off the bed to meet Hitoshi with every thrust, desperate for as much friction as possible.

“A-a-ah! Yes, fuck, fuck me, ‘Toshi, ‘Toshi, ‘Toshi!” Kaminari chants. His voice is thin and laced with fractures.

Continuing to thrust, Hitoshi then leans down, rests his elbows on Kaminaris chest, and wraps both hands around Kaminari’s neck.

The reaction is immediate.

This is what Kaminari had been really waiting for all night, and as soon as Hitoshi’s fingers tighten around him, his face splits into a delighted grin.

“Yes! Choke me, choke me!” He grabs one of Hitoshi’s wrists and gives two quick squeezes.

Finding the right grip, Hitoshi slowly puts pressure on the sides of Kaminari’s neck. He watches with rapt attention as Kaminari’s eyes close and his mouth drops open to take shaky gasps.

He holds for three seconds, then releases to let Kaminari take a proper breath. He then squeezes again, harder this time.

One, two, three, release.

“You can go harder,” Kaminari urges.

Hitoshi nods. This time when he squeezes, Kaminari’s eyes stay open, locked onto Hitoshi’s. He still has an elated smile on his face, and Hitoshi immensely enjoys the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks.

Fingers flexing harder, he counts one, two, three, all the way up to fifteen before he let’s go.

He releases, and Kaminari gives his wrist two quick squeezes before he can even ask. Eyes bright and a little wild, and Kaminari gives a breathless, giddy giggle.


Hitoshi grabs Kaminari’s face with both hands and leans down to give him a kiss. “You’re so insatiable,” he mutters against Kaminari’s lips. “Such a greedy baby boy.”


“Of course,” Hitoshi says before giving him another long kiss. “But I’m greedy, too.”

Knowing what Hitoshi wants, Kaminari wraps his arms around Hitoshi’s neck as they kiss, open-mouthed, wet, and downright filthy. Hitoshi’s brutal thrusting slows to a steady, lazy pace. He revels in each sinful, languid drag of his cock, and though he knows Kaminari prefers the quicker pace, he allows himself to indulge for a bit.

Kaminari doesn’t need to worry. Hitoshi’s still going to ruin him.

Hitoshi licks along Kaminari’s teeth, tasting the sugar-sweetness of his saliva. He tangles a hand into Kaminari’s hair and holds his head still against the bed when he pulls back, open-mouthed. A line of spit trails from the end of Hitoshi’s tongue back into Kaminari’s mouth.

Hitoshi grabs Kaminari’s face under his chin and allows more spit to drool onto his awaiting tongue. When the trail breaks, Kaminari scrunches his nose and smiles, and Hitoshi’s heart does a soft little flip-flop in his chest.

So fucking cute.

He kisses Kaminari twice more, once on the mouth and once on the forehead. He brushes his fingers against Kaminari’s neck again and whispers, “You ready for more, pet?”

Kaminari locks their eyes together, his excited desperation once again flushing his face.

“Break me, Hitoshi.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice. Hitoshi’s hands find their place around Kaminari’s neck again as he begins fuck into him at that brutal, breakneck pace once again.

The look of sheer, unfiltered happiness on Kaminari’s face as Hitoshi chokes him almost makes him chuckle. Should he be worried about Kaminari’s obsession with choking? Addiction might be the better word. He asks for it nearly every time they fuck. It’s probably more of a turn-on for Kaminari than the actual sex is.

Hitoshi holds for eighteen, nineteen, twenty, up to thirty seconds before releasing the pressure on Kaminari’s neck. Kaminari gives a shaky breath and nods to go again.

“You can hold longer, I can take it.”

This time, Hitoshi does laugh. “Course you can, baby.”

So, instead of counting, Hitoshi watches Kaminari’s face and body for verbal cues. He uses both hands to choke Kaminari, stomach leaping when he sees tears beginning to prick the corners of Kaminari’s eyes.

The smile on Kaminari’s face morphs into open-mouthed elation, and he rolls his eyes into the back of his head.

That’s… concerning.

“Okay, baby?”

Kaminari gives two quick squeezes, and Hitoshi’s relieved by the immediate response.

“Tap out if you need to.”

Another two squeezes, so Hitoshi holds his hands steady. As hot as this is, and as much as he loves choking Kaminari just as much as the other likes being choked, he’s getting a bit worried. But he tries to quiet his apprehension. Kaminari’s still attentive enough to confirm he wants to keep going, so Hitoshi has to trust that he’ll tap out when he needs to.

Hitoshi trusts Kaminari with everything he is, the type of close, intimate trust that Hitoshi never thought he’d have with another person. Their entire relationship has hinged on blind leaps of faith, trusting that they’ll still be holding each other tight when they land. Trusting that things would work out when they moved in together, even though Kaminari had to quit his job because the commute was too far. Trusting that when Hitoshi brought Kaminari to meet his parents for the first time they wouldn’t cut off their own son. Trusting that, as long as they were together, things would always work out between them. And for the past four years, they have.

But... he still wishes Kaminari would tap out soon.

A single tap or squeeze. That’s all it’ll take.

Besides, Hitoshi’s not sure he can hold out much longer. Kaminari’s ass is so tight, so warm around his dick, and with each harsh thrust feels himself edging closer and closer to the precipice.

One, but then another squeeze on Hitoshi’s wrist. Fuck, Hitoshi’s not pressing immensely hard, but he’s worried he’s going to leave bruises. Good thing it’s winter, and if he does mark Kaminari up, he can wear turtlenecks and scarves to cover it.

A single tear falls from Kaminari’s left eye and his eyelashes flutter closed, and oh, god, that’s such a pretty sight. Hitoshi’s fingers twitch as another tear squeezes from Kaminari’s right eye, trailing down the side of his face into his hairline.

Kaminari gives a short, choked sputter and his eyes crack open again. Thick, wet tears pool at the edges, and his irises shine an iridescent golden, extra shiny from the wetness.

Hitoshi takes one look at that choked out, fucked out face, and knows he’s gone.

He tips his head back and groans as he cums deep in Kaminari’s ass, giving a few final, stuttering thrusts as his entire body tenses. He grits his teeth as the heat that had been coiling in his gut releases with a snap! and a heavy, satisfied warm washes all the way from his head down to his toes.

He doesn’t notice Kaminari’s hand go slack and fall away from his wrist.

When he looks down, all he sees is that Kaminari’s chest is splattered with his own cum, and Hitoshi’s a bit surprised he came untouched. Usually, he has to help stroke Kaminari through it, but he flushes with smug pride that he was able to get Kaminari off just by fucking him.

He takes in the sight, admiring the white cum splattered across his lover’s toned chest. He drags his eyes back up to Kaminari’s face.

It’s then that he realizes Kaminari is limp in his hold, his eyes rolled completely into the back of his head.


His post-orgasm haze cuts short as panic overwhelms him. He stares in petrified shock, every muscle in his body frozen before he suddenly reboots with a jolt.

“Oh my god! Denki!”

Hitoshi pulls out and scrambles to find his phone. He can feel his chest swelling with fear as he searches, and god, fuck, where did he fucking put his phone?

As soon as it’s in his hand, he dials 119 and bounds back to Denki’s side.

The line connects, but Hitoshi doesn’t hear what the operator says.

“Help, please! My fiancé is unconscious, he passed out, I can’t—I don’t—”

“Can you tell me exactly what happened?”

“I was—I was choking him, but he didn’t tap out and I looked away for two seconds and he was unconscious, I didn’t mean to… oh my god.” Hitoshi desperately tries to keep a lid on his rising panic so he can hear the operator’s response, but there’s a rush in his ears and he knows that any second, the bloated terror in his chest is going to pop.

“Where are you right now?” 

“Our apartment.” Hitoshi quickly rattles off his address, floor and room number, then adds, “We’re in the bedroom in the back, at the end of the hall.”

“And a number to call back if we get disconnected?”

Hitoshi quickly recites his number..

“Okay, what’s your name?” the operator asks.

“My—my name is Shinsou Hitoshi. My fiancé is Kaminari Denki,” he stutters.

“Don’t hang up, help is on the way. Can you check if your fiancé is breathing or has a pulse?”

Hitoshi curses, realizing that he should have done that first. “Yeah, shit, hold on—let me check.”

He puts the phone on speaker and sets it on the bed, then checks Kaminari’s neck for a pulse.

“Please, please,” Hitoshi whispers to himself as his fingers press under Kaminari’s jaw. He feels like he might be sick, seeing his own, shaky hand on Kaminari’s neck again.

I did this.

He nearly cries in relief when he picks up the pulse. Thank god. He then leans down and listens for breath.

Shallow, but it’s there.

“Thank fuck,” Hitoshi whispers. He really is going to cry. Voice warbling, he says to the operator, “Yes, to both.”

“Good. Don’t move him, but if you can, elevate his legs.” The operator has a calm, soothing voice. It’s helping to quiet Hitoshi’s nerves.

He does his best to adjust Kaminari on the bed so he can sit and elevate his legs, but he doesn’t tear his eyes away from Kaminari’s face.

“Okay. I—I have his legs up.”

“Good, you’re doing great, Shinsou. Please remain with him until the paramedics arrive.”

Hitoshi nods absently, even though the operator can’t see him. He tries to hold back a sob.

Through his fear-addled brain, he realizes he doesn’t want the paramedics showing up and seeing Kaminari is covered in cum so Hitoshi pulls a pillowcase off a pillow and uses it to clean him up, then covers him with a blanket. And then, because it feels right, he rubs soothing circles into Kaminari’s thigh.

I did this.

“Are you still with me, Mr. Shinsou?”

“Yes, I’m here. He… he seems okay. God, I hope he’s okay.”

It’s a blur when the paramedics show up. One moment he’s staring at Kaminari’s face, fear gripping his chest like a vice, the next there’s bodies, and faces, and movement in his bedroom. He blinks, and he’s dressed. Blinks again, and he’s in a sterile, clean waiting room, anxiously tapping his foot as he fills out forms pertaining to Kaminari's medical history and insurance information.

He nearly jumps out of his seat when someone softly says his name.

“Mr. Shinsou? Your fiancè is awake, you can come see him now.”

He stands instantly to follow after, and is led down a series of halls to a small room with multiple beds divided by pale green curtains.

As soon as his eyes land on Kaminari, sitting up and conscious, Hitoshi cries out with a choked sob of relief. He rushes over to the bed as Kaminari looks up at him with a warm smile, then grips Kaminari’s hand with both of his.

He’s so overcome with relief he feels he might burst at the seams, but when Kaminari laughs softly and gives his hand two quick squeezes, he feels something inside himself crack.

“You dummy!” he cries, as tears well up in his eyes. “Why the hell didn’t you tap out?”

“I’m sorry, I thought I was fi—”

“Bullshit! You had me worried sick, I thought I’d—I had no idea what to do!”

The nurse who led him in puts a hand on his shoulder and begins to guide him away. “Please, Mr. Shinsou, calm down. He’s still a little weak—”

“No, it’s okay!” Kaminari interrupts with a sheepish smile. “I kinda did break a rule, so it’s okay!”

Bewildered, the nurse gives Kaminari a look, but he continues as if she had no reaction.

“I mean, I was asking for it, anyway, so he didn’t really do anything wrong! And he has every right to be mad at me—”

“Mr. Kaminari, please relax.” The nurse puts a steady hand on his shoulder and presses him back against the pillows propped up on his bed. “Mr. Shinsou, if you could please step back into the hall.”

“No,” Hitoshi says, sidestepping around the nurse. “I need to make sure he’s okay—”

“Please leave the room,” she says. “We’ll let you know when we can discharge him.”

Not wanting to start a fight in a hospital, though secretly tempted, Hitoshi relents. There’s a few chairs in the hall, so he takes a seat and waits impatiently with his arms crossed.

But, even though he’s mad—at Kaminari, at himself—he feels like a weight has been cut free.

He’s okay.

After another hour, the nurse returns. She’s more stern with him this time as she lists symptoms to look out for over the following weeks, and other concerns about Kaminari’s state. Luckily, she tells him, Kaminari wasn’t severely injured, and there’ll be no lasting damage, but she gives a firm warning to avoid any more “sexual asphyxiation” in the future.

Hitoshi doubts Kaminari’s going to like that very much. If he could bet on it, he’d say Kaminari will likely ask for it again tomorrow and pout if Hitoshi says no. But he doesn’t say that, of course.

The nurse looks as if she’s finished, but then she says, “Just to understand his medical history, is this the first time an incident like this has happened?”

Hitoshi nods vigorously. “Yes. Usually I count and make sure he’s okay, but he was responsive and kept letting me know he was okay, so I just…”

“How long was he unconscious before you realized he was unresponsive?”

“A… a few seconds?”

She looks unimpressed by Hitoshi’s answer, but that’s the best he can do. It really hadn’t been long, but Hitoshi regrets every single one of those seconds. He should have been paying closer attention, should have realized that tears were not a good thing and let go.

The nurse asks him a few more questions, but by the end of her interrogation, she looks less wary and seems satisfied with his answers.

A few minutes later, they finally let Hitoshi take Kaminari home.

On the taxi ride back to the apartment, Hitoshi is silent. He holds Kaminari’s hand, and rubs soothing circles across the top of his hand with his thumb, but he stares out the window the entire time.

He’s usually not one to give the silent treatment, and he knows he’s acting immature, but if he looks at Kaminari for too long he’s going to start crying again, which is embarrassing enough in private. He doesn’t need to start sobbing about how guilty he feels in the back of a public taxi.

But he doesn’t need to look to feel Kaminari’s nervous frown.

Once back in the apartment, Hitoshi turns to take Kaminari’s jacket, forgetting that he isn’t wearing one. Kaminari takes the opportunity to pull Hitoshi in and grab the sides of his face with his hands, a small frown on his face.

“Baby… are you mad at me?”

Hitoshi closes his eyes and sighs. He grabs one of Kaminari’s hands and pulls it to his lips so he can press a soft kiss on his palm. “No, Denki. I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay,” Kaminari says, and Hitoshi’s grateful that Kaminari trusts him enough to know he’s telling the truth.

“You want ice cream, baby?” Hitoshi mumbles into the skin of Kaminari’s wrist, falling into their aftercare routine. Even a trip to the hospital can’t interrupt that. “Movie? Wine?”

“Yes to all three, please.”

He presses another kiss to Kaminari’s hand. “Go get comfy, sweetheart.”

Denki slips off to change into pajamas as Hitoshi fixes them a bowl of ice cream and pours two glasses of wine. Kaminari’s already waiting on the couch, so he sets them on the coffee table and gives Kaminari a quick kiss on the top of his head before changing into pajamas himself.

They snuggle up on the couch together, but before Hitoshi can grab the remote, Kaminari leans heavily against his side and says, “You know, ‘Toshi, it’s kinda funny… They thought you were like, abusing me or something.”

Hitoshi turns to him with a start. “That’s not funny at all.”

But, there’s a small smile on Kaminari’s face. “They gave me a crisis hotline to call, too. Just in case.”

Frowning, Hitoshi responds, “They only think that because of what you said, because you said you were ‘asking for it’ or whatever.”

“But I was!”

“That’s apparently not how they interpreted it! You might as well have said, ‘Hey, my partner’s gaslighting me into accepting abuse!’”

“Aww, come on! It’s a little funny!” Kaminari teases, prodding Hitoshi’s arm. “As if you’d ever actually do something like that.”

“Denki, I thought I’d killed you! Take this a little more seriously!”

Kaminari laughs, but not unkindly. He sits up so he can wrap his arms around Hitoshi’s shoulders and place a soft peck on his lips. “I told you that you’re gonna send me to an early grave.”

There’s an unpleasant lurch in Hitoshi’s chest. He grabs Kaminari’s wrist and gives it a single short, insistent squeeze. “Please don’t joke about that, I thought—I don’t—” His voice cracks, and he has to compose himself before finishing, “I don’t know what I’d even do if I hurt you.”

Kaminari sobers instantly. “Okay. I’m sorry.” He gives Hitoshi another kiss, this one longer and even more gentle.

“But... I’m okay, Hitoshi. I promise I’m okay. Besides,” he adds, a smile tugging at his lips, “that was some of the hottest sex we’ve ever had. Before I, you know, passed out.”

“You’re an idiot,” Hitoshi whispers, giving a soft, incredulous laugh.

If there’d ever been a second of their relationship Hitoshi hadn’t cherished, he regrets it now. He presses his face into Kaminari’s neck, and vows that he’s going to be grateful for this beautiful, wonderful, stupid blond every day for the rest of his life.

“I love you, Denki.”

“I love you, too, ‘Toshi,” Kaminari says, but there’s still a trace of amusement in his voice. “Hey,” he adds, “Maybe we should get married?” 

Hitoshi chuckles at the familiar joke. Kaminari clearly isn’t as concerned as Hitoshi is about being nearly choked to death, but Hitoshi puts a pin in that to discuss later. For now, he’s just grateful Kaminari made it out alive, and he wants to be as attentive as he can to what Kaminari needs to recover, both physically and emotionally.

And if what he needs is some lighthearted laughter, Hitoshi will happily comply.

He grabs Kaminari’s left hand with his and slots their fingers together, their matching metal bands blinking hot and cold.

“Good idea, baby. Hey, wait a minute, aren’t we engaged already?” he jokes back.

Kaminari laughs and kisses Hitoshi again, but when he pulls away his expression is suddenly soft and serious.

“Ask me again?”

Hitoshi has felt raw and emotional all evening, but the expression on his fiancé’s face tugs at his heart so hard that it takes every ounce of his self control to not get choked up.

He climbs off the couch and gets on one knee as Kaminari expectantly sits up and scoots forward.

Holding his lover’s left hand with both of his, Hitoshi kisses it softly. He looks up, and says, “Kaminari Denki. You are the love of my life, my best friend, my reason for being. I will only have eyes for you for the rest of my life, and I can’t imagine living a single day without you by my side.”

He kisses Kaminari’s hand again, right on his ring.

“Will you marry me?”