Don found Meryl crouched on the floor of their en suite bathroom, emptying the meager contents of her stomach. It must be a twenty-hour bug or a slight case of food poison, he thought.
“Honey, are you okay?”
“I’m fantastic!”, Meryl replied sarcastically.
“Sorry.” Don said as he crouched beside his wife and rubbed Meryl’s back in soothing circles, and held her shoulder length hair up.
“No.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be—“ Meryl said as she looked up with teary eyes,
“Sshh.. what’s going on? Stomach bug?”
“I don’t know. I woke up feeling nauseous. Must be the clams from last night.”
“I told you to not get too excited.”
“I know.. I know. Ugh. It’s just we haven’t had them—“
“For ages, yes. Upon your insistence, may I add.”
“Yeah.. But I should ha-“ Meryl didn’t get to finish her words as another bout of nausea hit her, contracting her stomach painfully. “Ugh. I hate this.” She said as she sniffed and wiped her tears.
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
“What if you’re pregnant?”
Meryl let out a sarcastic chuckle as she sniffed, “Right. Very funny, Don.”
“No, I’m serious. I might have gotten you pregnant.”
“You did, darl. Four times, remember?”
“Yeah. What about now? Don’t you think that would be awesome?”
“God, no. My knees and your knees aren’t even working properly anymore. We’d die from running around chasing toddlers.”
“Honey, we’re in good shape.”
“Darling, that’s not the point.”
“Yeah. But don’t you think it’d be awesome?”
“Don, seriously, where are all these shit coming from? It’s too early in the morning!”
“You. You’re the one having morning sickness now.”
“It’s not morning sickness! It’s the clams!”
“I just think it’s going to be wonderful to see you pregnant again.”
“No, it’s not. I’d be the laughing stock of the whole wide world, and web. My god.”
“And they’d know that we’re still having sex.”
“What? You were very beautiful when you were pregnant. I think you’re the most beautiful then.”
“And what? The rest I was horrid looking?”
“No. That’s not what I meant.”
Meryl crouched further, almost hugging the edges of the toilet bowl as another wave of painful stomach cramps washed her, “Ugh.. God. I think I’m gonna die.”
“Do you want to go to ER?”
*sniffs* “No. If I remember correctly, you were the one who said I shouldn’t get pregnant anymore after Lou.”
“Because it’s too risky with your age, and your pregnancy with her was not exactly a walk in the park.”
“Exactly. Did you think I got younger since? This ridiculous notion of yours that I’m pregnant now.. Really Don, I think the smell of metal and wood in your studio has gone straight to your head.”
Don chuckled, “I was just reminiscing, I guess. Seems like it was just yesterday. And now we’re old, and the house is quiet. Too quiet.”
“Aww.. my poor husband. Midlife crisis biting your ass, mister?” Meryl couldn’t help but chuckle, feeling slightly better, and moved towards Don and hugged him.
“Maybe. But thinking about it, I like the house’s quietness as well. Just you and me.. like when we started.”Don said as he leaned over Meryl and pecked at her lips.
“Yeah. Maybe grand kids will cheer you up. When we finally have them.”
“Not anytime soon, I hope. I’m not ready.”
“Right. And just minutes ago you were insisting that it would be lovely if I get pregnant again. Make up your mind, Gummer!”
“No, I’m just saying.. I would love to see you again pregnant because you’re beautiful as your stomach gets big, but I’m not ready to be called grandpa. Not yet.”
“I hate to break it to you, Don, but my stomach really has gotten bigger over the years. Pure fat, though. No fetus.”
Don chuckled, “No, honey. You’re as hot as the day I first saw you.” he said as he leaned down and kissed Meryl on her forehead.
“Liar. Just the other day you were saying I could use a jog or two.”
“Did I say that? I don’t think so.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No, I did not.”
“Did too. And here I thought I’m the one with poor memory.”
“You tend to remember the bad stuff I say. Not when I’m being romantic and the perfect husband for a certain Meryl Streep.”
Meryl let out a hearty laugh, “Oh god. Seriously though, you don’t want to be a grandpa yet? Henry’s almost forty for fuck’s sake!”
“Nope. Not yet. And what does his age matter anyway? Men can get women pregnant even when they’re on their 90s.”
“He’s at the right age, darl.”
Don sighed, “Maybe. But still..”
“Fine. It’s your opinion. But you can’t knock me up any longer. Thank god for that.”
“Don’t be so sure.” Don said as he wiggled his eyebrows and smiled mischievously.
“You are hopeless.” Meryl said as she laughed out loud.
“Let’s get outta here. Are you feeling better?”
Don helped Meryl to stand up, “Very good. I want to try and see if I really can’t get you pregnant now.”
Meryl shook her head and chuckled, “It’s too early to have sex, Don. Your knees won’t take it.”
“My knees and I already made a pack, honey. Don’t worry about it. I’ll have you pregnant by the end of today. And when ever did we care what time is it to have sex? Morning sex is the best.”
“Really, Don, how much caffeine have you had this morning.?”
“Not enough, obviously.” Don chuckled.
“The sex part, I can compromise. The pregnant thing, I’m afraid, the ship’s sailed and sunk, baby.”
“What ship? I believe in magic. Come on, woman.”
Meryl laughed out loud and allowed her husband to tug her back to bed.