Work Header

Should I hate you Or Should I love you?

Chapter Text

carbonara buddies


[11:49 AM]


sirio: I need mary’s number 


marlena: uh???


sirio: the make up artist, for next week’s competition, we need to book an appointment 


marlena: but she’s our friend?? 


sirio: honestly marls, do I look like I care? 

just give me the damn number🤨


marlena: se ti calmi due secondi, nervous eh? 


sirio: don’t talk to me in Italian because you know that I will beat you


marlena: whatever helps you sleep at night sweetie🥺


sirio: mf, and to answer your question yes, I AM in fact nervous, how could you not be??? 


marlena: I smoke weed??? 

no but fr hon, is it because your boyfriend will be there? 


sirio: dio santo, still going strong with this theory?? first of all, I can’t stand him, why would I like him?? second of all, he looks like an homophobic dude, third of all, I don’t want to spend more than two seconds talking about lupin, so just leave it marls


marlena: damn…. 

enemies to lovers??🥵🤫😪😁🤨😌


sirio: the phone number marlene. 


marlene: fine. 




[12:05 PM]


unknown number: here she is!! my favourite make up artist!!


unknown number: uh??


unknown number: mary, we talked this morning, your sexiest friend with long dark hair…

ring any bells?


unknown number: unfortunately not, because I’m not mary, but if you’re as pretty as you were saying then I’m all ears


unknown number: ...

so you’re not mary? 


unknown number: exactly 


unknown number: sheesh sorry


unknown number: that’s okay buddy


unknown number: how do you know that I’m a BuDdy?🤨


unknown number: I’m so sorry

what are your pronouns? 


unknown number: lmaoo that’s ok, I don’t mind, any pronouns are fine!! what are yours? 


unknow number: he/him

okay, bye


zayn malik simps


[12:30 PM]


neil perry: JAMES



nuwanda: WHAT








neil perry: LOOK AT THIS


he asked me for my pronouns and then “okay,bye”


nuwanda: I would do the same, you’re annoying 


neil perry: rude???


nuwanda: also he is a stranger on the internet why do you want to keep texting him? 


neil perry: I don’t🤨


nuwanda: sure thing!!!! we all believe you!!!


neil perry: it looks intriguing, HE looks intriguing

also we?? who is this “we”???


nuwanda: me, lily and marlene😁😁

we all have free periods, so we’re having lunch together.

oh and marlene is saying something in Italian,

I don’t know what but she looks scary


neil perry: 🙄🙄🙄


nuwanda: ok she’s telling me that you should know thatbdjsskm€/€:912 ti giuro che se stai pensando di fare quello che penso- continuerò una carriera come solista 


neil perry: dimmi marls, “a cosa sto pensando”??😱


nuwanda: you’re thinking about keep texting this guy as a joke and then,, I don’t know?? it will end with YOU having a broken heart and with ME cooking pizza (which I don’t mind tbh but *that’s not the point!!*) 


neil perry: and then you have the audacity to tell me that I am the drama queen?


nuwanda: you like being called a drama queen


neil perry: yes I do, but *that’s not the point!!*


nuwanda: shut up, also today is your turn to wash the dishes


sorry, james here!! again!! finally!! 


neil perry: finally!!! also tell her that it is not true 


nuwanda: her answer: “I have the photo of the calendar” 


neil perry: damn it 


criminal minds addicts


marls: I’m gonna kill sirius




marls: no lily, they obviously didn’t listen to the speech that euphemia did months ago about “STRANGER DANGER” 


my nonna would say: “hai il prosciutto negli occhi” and lily, he really does. 

mf be like “HE is so intriguing😍😍😍” yessss!!! so intriguing that he maybe he just wants hit you in the face bestie!!!! I can’t wait!!! 


marymary: 💀💀 for me you’re exaggerating 


marls: I thought you were on my side :/

mary you’re a traitor. 


alis: what is going on w sirius? 


cass:  yeah, what alice said.. 


marls: so- 


cass: ++I just bought a cute hat and I took a picture, do you want to see it??


marls: yesyes!!


marymary: fruity


marls: SHUT UP!





marls: madre di dio santissimo, mamma mia


cass: what😀


lils: she- uh?? 

was saying that you’re really pretty


cass: google translate said “mother of god most holy, mamma mia” fjdjakak 




alis: what mary says AHSHAHDEHA, and I think that it’s an Italian thing don’t worry 

you’re very pretty cas!!!! you should post it 


marls:  yeah, you should


marymary: yes cas!!! you are really gorgeous mwah mwah 





cass: I will dw!! marls, what you were saying about sirius? what happened?? 



okay basically, I gave them remus lupin’s number 


lils: 👩🏻🦰 *stays silent in ginger*


cass: WHAT 


marymary: WHO


alis: WHEN 


marls: it wasn’t intentional I swear!! 

they were being annoying about having mary’s number because “we need to book an appointment” their words not mine!!


marymary: that’s why I love them more than you marls 


marls: 🥺🥺I’m so hurt

as I was saying- it was a mistake! yes I gave them the wrong phone number, and yes I may have thought that was xenophilus’ number 


alis: LMAO WHAT 


lils: what the hell marlene😩





lils: obviously 


cass: this is hilarious, 

but why didn’t you tell them that it was remus’ number? 


marls: lily and I came to one conclusion


lils: they both need to chill out, all of this competition was hilarious at first in highschool, but damn it- now we’re all at the university it’s just annoying 


alis: ok ex-miss. “I can’t stand james potter, he’s the biggest show off that I have ever met” for four years and now “even if we are going to leave together we always snog in a closet at the UNIVERSITY” 


lils: that doesn’t make any sense alice fortescue!


marls: whatever you said my

beautiful ginger


marymary: so we can’t say anything? 


cass: basically

I don’t know if they will fall in love or just kill each other first 


alis: probably both, you know what they said “love is the most potent killer” 


marymary: sap