Actions

Work Header

Just Bakugou & Todoroki (TodoBakuTodo Incorrect)

Summary:

Literally just Bakugou and Todoroki being dudes, friends, boyfriends, you name it.

These are short and sweet doses of humor through the interactions between Bakugou and Todoroki.

 

Disclaimer:
- All credit for the lovely BNHA/MHA characters used goes to Horikoshi Kohei.
Note:
- None of the chapters are linked to each other unless stated otherwise.

Chapter Text

Oh, shit. Shoto’s definitely mad at me. He only glares at me like that when he’s pissed at me for something.

“What’s wrong, Shoto?”

“You ate some of my cold soba.”

“I took one damn bite, Shoto.”

“Thanks for taking a bite out of my happiness.”

Chapter Text

“I never knew you could sing so well, Katsuki. You sound great.”

“Hah?!”

“Weren’t you singing earlier when you were on your laptop?”

“The hell are you going on about?”

“I guess ‘rapping’ might be a better term.”

“Rapping? Since when have I—”

“I think it went something like this: FUCKYOUYOUMOTHERFUCKINGPIECEOFSHITGODDAMMITIHOPEYOUFUCKINGDIEABLOODYDEATHANDBURNINHELL! (Fuck you, you motherfucking piece of shit. Goddammit, I hope you fucking die a bloody death and burn in hell!)”

Chapter Text

“Icyhot, c’mere. Heard you’re good at math. Solve this problem for me and tell me the answer.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, damn extra.”

“Fine.”

「A few moments later…」

“I finished.”

“Tell me the answer.”

“F to the power of U times C to the power of K over Y times O to the power of U.”

Chapter Text

A bit of dark humor involved.


“Katsuki, why did I cross the road?”

“To get to the other side? I don’t fucking know.”

“No.”

“Cold soba?”

“No.”

“School?”

“No.”

“Your dad?”

“Along those lines.”

“You wanted him to get hit?!”

“No. Maybe. Kidding.”

“I can think of two other answers off the top of my head, and I don’t like where they’re going. Tch. Trying to get away from Endeavor? Or…trying to get hit because of Endeavor?”

“Neither are wrong, but neither of them are exactly right.”

“I—”

Chapter 5

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sexual references.


“Shoto, what’s the first word you think of when you hear the letter A?”

“Ah.”

“B?”

“Bee.”

“C?”

“She.”

“The fuck? D?”

“Dee…d.”

“Your answers hardly make any damn sense.”

“What about you, Katsuki? What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the letter A?”

“Ass.”

“B?”

“Bitch or balls."

“C?”

“Cum.”

“Do I even have to ask for D?”

“Course ya don’t hafta ask for it. I’ll give it whenever.”

“What?”

“You oblivious fuck. Anyway, dick.”

“I figured.”

Notes:

there is an actual reason why todoroki's responses are what they are.

Chapter Text

“Shoto?! Why are you crying? What happened? Who did this?! I’ll beat them the fuck up!”

“It’s awful, Katsuki…”

“What?!”

“I don’t know if I can keep going.”

“Oh, they’re fucking dead! Deader than dead by overkill!”

“They’re closing my favorite place to get soba from…”

Chapter Text

“What kinda drinks do you have here?”

“I can show you.”

“Aight.”

“Do any of these look—”

“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A WHOLE DAMN FRIDGE FULL OF STRAWBERRY MILK?!”

“Oh, sorry. Wrong fridge. This one.”

“Shoto.”

“Hm?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Look.”

“Oh. I’m not used to having guests over.”

“Why. The fuck. Do you have. TWO. Fucking fridges. Full of strawberry fucking milk?!”

“That’s nothing compared to my collection of soba.”

“Shoto, you have a problem.”

Chapter 8

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dark humor.


“Shoto, bet you’d never beat me at hangman.”

“Let’s see about that. I’ll go first.”

“Where’re you goin’?”

“To go and be a hanged man.”

“SHOTO, NO—”

Notes:

looking at this now, the "SHOTO, NO—" reminds me of that "LOLA, NO" thing.

Chapter Text

Sexual references.


I was comparing dick sizes with Shoto last night, and I just wanted to see how he’d react if I said his was a pathetic stub compared to mine. It didn’t go well.

“Pfft, yours is a pathetic fucking stub compared to mine.”

“Maybe I’d rather suck off a kettle than your uncooked noodle of a dick.”

Chapter Text

It’s April Fools’ Day today, so I adjusted everything in the house to be at a very slight angle. Katsuki has a clock over his desk in the office, and he hates it when it’s crooked, so that gave me the idea.

“Is it just my damn eyes, or is the TV crooked?”

“Maybe?”

“Why the hell is the stand crooked? Hah?! Oh, for fuck’s sake, and the picture? The lamp, the rug… The entire room looks crooked now!”

“You’re welcome.”

“Shoto, what the hell?! This is gonna drive me crazy! Don’t tell me the whole fucking house is crooked.”

“‘The whole fucking house is crooked.’”

Chapter Text

This is a continuation of the previous chapter.


As revenge for Shoto turning the whole damn house cattywampus, I’m making his cold soba spicy as fuck.

“Here. How the hell do you not get tired of eating this every single day?”

“How do you not get tired of adding hot sauce to everything?”

“That’s different—it tastes different depending on what it’s with. You, on the other hand, just eat the same thing again and again without changing a single damn thing about it.”

He’s gonna bite it.

“I guess that’s true. Mgh?! Hah… Katsuki, what… What—”

I’ve never seen his eyes fly open like that. Holy shit. He looks like a fucking dog. Oh my God—this is beautiful.

“Payback, Shoto. Heh, you really thought I wasn’t gonna do anything in return? Wrong. Huh?! Oi, water ain’t gonna do shit. Get the milk. Don’t chug it! Shoto, just drink it like a normal human being. Goddamn.”

“Ugh… It still burns. It feels worse. Damn. You’ve poisoned my food, burned my mouth, and brought a plague upon my mind.”

“I did? Why the hell does that sound like a modified reference to something? But I get it, I get it. No need to be so damn salty and dramatic. It’s just soba.”

“Just soba? You were right. I did declare war on the wrong person.”

Chapter Text

Sexual references.


Shoto’s kinda loopy from the meds he’s been taking, and since he’s napping, I decided to put some empty bottles of alcohol in his dorm—as well as some lube and condoms. I wanna see if I can get him to believe we really went at it when we’ve never even discussed doing it before.

“Mm… Katsuki?”

“What’d ya think of last night?”

“Hm?”

“Hah! You musta been wasted.”

“I was drinking last night? I don’t remember that.”

“You were drunk to hell and back. Got real horny, and then, y’know.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What’s the ‘y’know’ about?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t remember.”

“I…don’t remember at all. What did I do?”

Oh my God, he believes me.

“Babe. There’s lube right next to you.”

HIS FUCKING FACE. OH MY GOD.

“No… You’re kidding, right?”

“Tell that to my aching ass.”

Literally covering his mouth with his hand. He’s so damn cute.

“You let me?”

HE BELIEVES MY BULLSHIT.

“Probably. I had a bit much to drink. But damn, for being drunk as fuck, you hit like a truck.”

“We’re…on the same page about this, right? I…”

“You fucked me like you were trying to break me last night.”

“I think there’s something horribly wrong with my meds. I… Was I enjoying it?”

“Pretty sure your face last night was a definite yes.”

“I…”

“Babe, I’m kidding about this all. Nothing happened last night. Besides, you just took a short nap. And we both know you’d never be able to top me.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore. But oh? You know, do you?”

“Oi, oi… Shoto…”

“We have everything right here.”

“Hah?! I mean…”

“Do you want to test your statement out?”

“Tch… Fuck it. Knock yourself out.”

“I was kidding.”

“Fuck you!”

“Do you want to?”

“Y… You asshole!”

“I do have an asshole.”

“Goddammit, Shoto!”

Chapter Text

A bit of angst and less on the humorous side.


“Shoto, why do you take twenty-minute showers?”

“Because I can.”

“What the hell are you doing? You got hair, but not that much hair.”

“I think about stuff for about eighteen minutes.”

“I’ve never understood shower thoughts.”

“Oh, I can tell you mine and in what order they usually go: wonder why I still exist, hate myself for something that happened years ago, hate myself for something that happened recently, brood over everything that the day holds and know that I’ll just be a disappointment at the end of the day, realize how much I don’t want to leave my dorm to do any of the things I was brooding over, suddenly wish that something would happen so I could stay in my futon for the rest of the day, and finally, realize how much I wouldn’t have to put up with if I died. Though, they’re pleasant compared to my thoughts when I’m trying to sleep. Those make me want to die. Literally.”

“Shoto—”

Chapter Text

“Being around you’s like bein’ around a cat.”

“You’re a pomeranian—you’re smaller than a cat, Kat. You just have a lot of fluffy hair. Hiss.”

“Okay, asshole. At least I don’t jump like a cat if a kettle’s put behind my back. Bark.”

“I don’t bark at everything that moves with a bark that wakes up the entire neighborhood at night.”

“I’ll either chew on you like a bone until nothing’s left, or I’ll lick you to death.”

“Hiss.”

“I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN, CATSTARD! YOU DID NOT JUST WHACK MY CHEEK WITH THE BACK OF YOUR FUCKING HAND!”

Chapter Text

“Shoto, insult me as best as ya can.”

“I don’t have any insults because you’re perfect.”

I tried to egg Shoto on for an insult, despite how damn sweet he was.

“Fine, you lazy shit. I’d rather kiss someone’s ass after losing to them than kiss any of the soft insults from your lips.”

“I’d rather marry burnt cold soba than marry you.”

“Hah? That the best you got? I’d rather use peppermint spray in my own eyes than have to look at the burn on Peppermint Shit’s face anymore.”

“I’d rather have Endeavor himself burn the other half of my face with his own hands than have to deal with even half of your ego anymore.”

Long story short, we kissed and made up while taking a bath together.

Chapter Text

“Bakugou, why is your keyboard so…loud and clackity?”

“Is ‘clackity’ a fucking word? But it’s pretty damn satisfying to listen to.”

“I guess it’s like your personality.”

“Huh?”

“Loud, obnoxious, and either silent or explosive.”

“MOTHERFUCKER—”

Chapter Text

Katsuki’s sick, and every time he sneezes, he launches into the air and hits his head against the ceiling, so I’ve covered his dorm with pillows.

“Huh?! Shoto, why the fuck are there pi… THE CEILING TOO?!”

“You keep hitting your head against the ceiling.”

“I feel like I’m in solitary confinem—EHH…ATCHU! Ow, fuck…”

“Damn, I forgot the door frame.”

“Don’t you fucking dare try, Shoto. My door won’t be able to close.”

“You don’t know unless I try.”

“GET YOUR ASS BACK H—HA-ATCHU!”

“Our dormitory will be fully encapsulated with pillows now.”

Chapter Text

“The hell are you reading, Turtleroki?”

“Words on a screen, Bakagou.”

“HUH? SHINE!”

“She neigh.”

“Shine!”

“Shneh.”

“Shnyeah!”

“It doesn't sound like a proper word anymore.”

“I don’t even remember what the hell started this.”

“You asked me what I was reading.”

“Oh yeah. And you never answered!”

“Yes I did.”

“No you didn’t.”

“I already told you what I’m reading. Did you forget?”

“No you fucking didn’t! And I didn’t forget shit!”

“I said that I’m reading ‘words on a screen, Bakagou.’”

“SHINE!”

Chapter Text

I walked into the kitchen earlier today, and Shoto was crying with his face all red. He was bent over with his face down and elbows on the counter.

“Shoto, you all right?”

“I’m fine.”

He sniffled.

“Then why are you cryin’ like this? Babe, c’mere.”

“Really, I’m fine, Katsuki.”

“No you’re not. You never cry.”

He rubbed his eyes and winced.

“There’s one thing that always makes me cry and makes my eyes burn.”

“Endeavor?”

“That’s another story entirely.”

I was starting to get hella worried about him.

“Then…”

“Onions.”

Chapter Text

Implied sexual references.


Long story short, Shoto accidentally deep-throated some pocky today. I had the pocky between my lips and his wrist in my hand. I was gonna pin him to the wall and shove the pocky into his mouth a bit, but guess who fucked up and basically ended up shoving the whole damn stick down his throat? Yeah, this asshole. The face he made when the stick broke was fucking priceless, though.

“Oh, shit, fuck! You all right?!”

“Yeah. Can I ask what that was for?”

“Wanted to share a chocolate-covered kiss with you, but that didn’t fucking happen. Goddamn. You took that like a damn champ—didn’t flinch or anything. Wait a fucking second…”

“Ah…”

“Yeah, you better be saying that for me tonight.”

Chapter Text

I don’t know if my neighbor is batshit crazy or what, but I was wondering what in the actual fuck was going on since the sound of banging metal interrupted my lunch yesterday. Turns out that this asshole with red and white hair was smashing kettles on the ground. What’s his problem? And it was like he bought a whole damn kettle store out. And then… Oh, then. Then, as in today, HE STARTED MELTING MORE GODDAMN KETTLES! Pretty damn sure that man has some serious issues, or he’s literally batshit crazy.

Chapter Text

Bakugou: *Coughs*

Todoroki: I’m taking you to the hospital.

Bakugou: What the hell?! Over a damn cough? Oi! Get yer hands off me!

Todoroki: This must be serious. You need urgent care.

Bakugou: OH MY GOD, SHOTO, I’M NOT SICK.

Todoroki: That’s what they all say. I’m taking you there. No exceptions.

Bakugou: For fuck’s sake…

「At the hospital…」

Bakugou: See?! There’s nothing wrong with me!

Todoroki: I’ll pay for an X-ray, an MRI, a CT scan, a—

Bakugou: Shut the fuck up and trust me.

Todoroki: Pinky promise?

Bakugou: What the hell… Fine. Pinky promise.

Todoroki: *Smiling*

Bakugou: FINE, YOU CAN DO ONE OF YOUR PRECAUTIONARY TESTS!

Chapter Text

A bit of dark humor & angst.


“Katsuki, would you say life’s like a pencil?”

“Why?”

“It can be a double-edged blade, it withers away with use, it leaves marks on the world that can be erased but don’t fully fade, it’s shaped with time and experience, being sharpened is painful, and it feels like it’s just a vessel that someone else is controlling the every movement of. They all come in different shapes, sizes, and types. Oh, and some are broken more easily than others. Some live longer or shorter lives. More damaged, less damaged. But shave them all down, and they’re all the same inside.”

“All right, pencil nerd.”

“Can I put myself through a pencil sharpener? My life is dull and useless, and I don’t want it anymore.”

“Shoto, hell no—”

Chapter Text

“Bakugou.”

“The hell are you lookin’ at, damn extra?”

“Math or English.”

“Math.”

“How come?”

“Because I don’t give a shit what the fucking author thinks and what goddamn techniques they use to achieve their shit. What do you think I’m doing with my life? Writing theories on every fucking thing I read?”

“Interesting. You do seem to make a lot of theories based on information about the people you’re around during combat.”

“WRITING AN ESSAY AIN’T LIFE OR DEATH.”

“Your grade lives or dies.”

“Icyhot, you’re gonna live or die if you utter one more word to me.”

“‘One more word to me.’”

“YOU’RE GOING DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER! AND I’LL USE MY COMBAT ‘THEORIES’ ON YOU TO HELL AND BACK!”

“So, English?”

“NO!”

Chapter Text

“Aight. Got the new TV set up. Wanna see? Shoto? Where the hell are you?”

“Sleepy.”

“Hah?! Why are you in the box the TV came in?”

“Sleepy.”

“How the hell is that comfortable?”

“Sleepy.”

“You a damn cat? Heh. You stay right there.”

I got some of Shoto’s leftover cold soba and draped a noodle over the side of the box. Guess what? A hand flopped around the top of the box like a cat paw until he snatched his snack and ate it.

“Babe, you’re ridiculous…”

“And you love it.”

“Tch. No one said that.”

“I know you do. More soba…”

“I hate you, you cute little shit.”

Chapter Text

“Shoto, since yer eatin’ ice cream, why’s it melting?”

“Because it’s hot outside?”

“You idiot.”

“What?”

“You have a fucking ice Quirk. Use it.”

“Oh. Well, now it’s ice with a side of ice cream.”

“That’s not what I meant. Thaw it out.”

“Well, now it’s a puddle.”

“I can’t tell if you’re my boyfriend or my dumbass kid.”

“Well, now I’m just sad.”

Chapter Text

“Shoto, how could you do this to me? I’m fucking hurt.”

“What did I do? I’m sorry for whatever it was.”

“Don’t act like you don’t know.”

“I don’t know, though.”

“You were letting that damn Deku eat you up real fuckin’ good earlier today.”

“I don’t think I even talked to him today. Katsuki, what do you mean?”

“He was suckin’ on the candy cane Round Face gave him.”

Chapter Text

“You’re a chicken.”

“WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE?”

“Sure, Bagawkugou. Bawkudoodledoo.”

“Piece of shit! Fine, Toad-oh-row-key. You’re the fuckin’ toad that was dumb enough to eat a key. Toad on death row. Toad, oh, low-key—but high-key—hate you!”

“Bawk-you-go. Back you go. Bawking like a chicken. Sleeping skier. Cot-ski. Cot-sucky.”

“Toad-oh-fuckin’-roadkill. Show me yo toes, show-toe.”

“I feel honored that you know my first name at all.”

“It’s your fucking Hero name.”

“You still call me Icyhot.”

“Because all I see is hot.”

“I don’t use my flames that much.”

“You oblivious fuckin’—”

Chapter Text

“Hey, Bakugou.”

“Oi.”

“Remember when we had online class and—”

“DON’T YOU DARE BRING THAT UP AGAIN, ASSHOLE!”

“Your cat unmuted you when you were pouring your heart out into singing ‘Into the Unknown’ while playing the drums?”

Chapter Text

A bit of angst.


“Holy shit, why are you ordering so much stuff for one damn party?!”

“I want to.”

“Don’t you think this is going overboard?”

“No.”

“What could you possibly not have at this point that you don’t already have the money for?”

“Happiness.”

“I—”

Chapter Text

“Check and mate.”

“I figured I’d lose. You’re good at chess, Katsuki.”

“I’m good at everything. But ya made a good endeavor.”

“Please never form a sentence that relates the word ‘endeavor’ or the name ‘Endeavor’ to any positive connotations.”

Chapter Text

So, I came back home from work to see Shoto sleeping on the floor with his face planted in the cat bed. I made him some soba and put the bowl just out of his reach. He woke up almost immediately, and you know what he did? Since he couldn’t quite reach, he scooted himself up just enough to tug on the rim of the bowl. He ate the goddamn soba without even bothering to sit his lazy ass up. When he was done, he pushed the bowl away with his forefinger, and he went back to sleep with his face planted in the cat bed. I sometimes wonder if there are days when Shoto and our cat swap bodies.

Chapter Text

Implied sexual references.


I’m gonna try and pull the “spell ‘me’” prank on Shoto.

“Oi, Shoto.”

“Hm?”

“Spell ‘me.’”

“M-E.”

“You forgot the ‘D.’”

“Med. D-Med. I don’t get it.”

“You were supposed to say that there’s no ‘D’ in ‘me.’”

“Not yet.”

“GODDAMMIT!”

Chapter Text

A bit of angst. Less on the humorous side.


“Bakugou, why are you staring at me?”

“There’s something on your face.”

“Oh. Where?”

“Too bad you can’t wipe the trash off your mirror, because it’s all over that burn. Even if you pour boiling water on it, the stain’s permanent.”

“Bakugou, thanks to you, I’ve realized something astounding: my self-esteem was never at its lowest until now. Thanks for burning it to ashes, Bakugou. I really needed that.”

Chapter Text

I made a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Katsuki. I’m going to make it look like I’m cuddling with someone else on the couch tonight to see his reaction.

“CARE TO FUCKING EXPLAIN WHO THE HELL THAT IS, SHOTO?”

“Not really. But I do love him with all of my heart.”

I kissed the cardboard cut-out of Katsuki.

“THERE’S ONLY ROOM FOR SHOTO AND FOR ME ON THIS COUCH. OI, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, THAT’S MY SHOTO, AND I’LL HAVE YOUR HEAD MOUNTED OVER THIS TV IF Y—”

He paused with his mouth agape.

“I was lonely.”

“Oh my fucking God, you asshole! I’ll mount your ass over this TV! OI! Don’t you run from me! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, DAMMIT!”

Chapter Text

“Katsuki, did you know I’m good at archery?”

“Hah? You? Good at archery? As if!”

“It’s true.”

“Since when have you ever been good at anything to do with precision and accuracy?”

“Ever since I hit the bullseye of one of the most difficult targets known to exist.”

“Tch. And what the hell might that be?”

“Your heart.”

“Fuck you, you cheesy piece of fucking shit—”

Chapter Text

“Wait a damn minute. You mix your hair, and you get pink. Just like the strawberry milk you drink. Red strawberries, white milk.”

“I’m dyeing my hair pink now. Thanks for the idea.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Why not?”

“You won’t.”

“I will.”

“All right, fine. Be a head of cotton candy or bubble gum for all I care.”

“Funny coming from the pomeranian that was dropped in a river and dried by a tornado.”

“I’ll rip you to shreds.”

“Thanks for the compliment. I must be delicious cotton candy or bubble gum to be ripped to shreds by the Katsuki Bakugou.”

Chapter Text

“Holy shit, I never realized how f-fucking cold it was g-gonna be in a tent at night.”

“I burnt my hand…at night. But come here. Snuggle with me.”

“I don’t need you to help me get warm.”

I crawled over to Katsuki’s sleeping bag and tucked myself inside with him while using my fire Quirk a bit.

“Tch. I hate this. I hate you.”

“I’ll snuggle you until you’re quiet.”

“Fuck off. Get off of me.”

“No. You’re still shivering.”

“Tch. C’mere, asshole.”

“Sweet of you to hug me back.”

“Fuck you. I’m suffocating your skin with my sweat.”

“Shh. I’ll snuggle my lips with yours to shut you up.”

“Wanna bet on th—mmgh.”

Sure enough, Katsuki was quiet after that. He’s always too flustered and soft to say anything when I kiss him.

Bakugou: I’LL DESTROY YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, ASSHOLE!

Chapter Text

I photoshopped a picture to make it look like Deku and I are kissing, but you can tell it’s been edited. I wanna see Shoto’s face.

“Oi. Shoto, can you look for my cheesecake recipe in my pictures?”

“Sure.”

「A few moments later…」

Shoto put my phone down and started to walk off.

“Shoto? You know that was photosh—”

“I’m sorry I was just trash to you.”

HE OPENED THE TRASH BIN AND CLIMBED INSIDE.

Chapter Text

“Oi. Whaddya lookin’ at on your phone, Shoto?”

“Nothing.”

“Seems hella sus. Lemme see.”

“No.”

“Hah?! Gimme that!”

“Katsuki, I—”

“YOU ASSHOLE! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! WHY THE FUCK?!”

“I’m not sorry.”

“AND IT KEEPS GOING. HOW MANY DAYS HAVE YOU TAKEN A PICTURE OF MY FACE WHEN I’VE BEEN SLEEPING?!”

“At least for the past eight months.”

Katsuki-Bakugou.exe has stopped working.

Chapter Text

“Oi. Move your ass. I need to sweep here. Why are you even sleeping on the floor?”

“Exams are tomorrow.”

“Go take a nap, and I’ll have cold soba for you when you wake up.”

I pushed my broom up to his arm, and he clasped onto the damn broom like his life depended on it.

“I’ll nap here.”

“Shoto, I can’t fucking sweep with you on the broom.”

“Sure you can.”

“I hate you. You’re gonna need a shower after this.”

“Then mop me.”

“No—”

And that’s the story of how I cleaned the floor with my boyfriend as the latest broom attachment.

Chapter 42

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

For an April Fools’ Day prank on the class, Shoto and I switched Hero outfits, bleached and dyed our hair, styled our hair to match, put in contacts, and used some makeup. I had to put inserts in Shoto’s boots because I’m shorter than him. I turned out fine. The burn mark looks a little weird, and Shoto and I sure as hell have different figures, but I came out fine. Shoto? Because his hair won’t cooperate to be fluffy and spiky like mine, he looks like a fucking budget cosplay, super saiyan anime character—

Notes:

well, one of my beans informed me that this would be a todobaku or bakutodo incorrect thing, so i've added that to the title.

Chapter Text

“Shoto, remember when you thought everyone in the class got you cold soda for your birthday?”

“I was sad but grateful.”

“You looked like you were going through an existential crisis when I started eating cold soba right in front of you.”

“It was cruel, Katsuki.”

“And then everyone drank their sodas because they never handed them to you.”

“I died a little on the inside.”

“And then we shoved a whole-ass buffet of cold soba in your face. I still have a picture of your precious little smile when you saw the soba that was meant for you.”

“Oh, I wasn’t smiling at the soba.”

“Hah?!”

“I was smiling because you were smiling. I love you and your smile more than cold soba.”

“STOP MAKING ME FUCKING BLUSH, GODDAMMIT! I HATE YOU!”

Chapter Text

It’s the first day of spring, and I didn’t expect to see Katsuki like this. He’s aggressively washing the windows with soap bubbles all over him, and from the outside, it looks like I have a massive pomeranian aggressively clawing at the window because it sees something interesting outside.

 

 

 

 

 

Katsuki is a big floof.

Chapter Text

“Katsuki, why are you wearing bunny slippers? And…they’re green.”

“Got a problem with that?”

“No. I guess they remind me of Midoriya.”

“Exactly right.”

“...”

“I get to crush that damn Deku whenever I walk.”

Chapter Text

A bit of angst. Less on the humorous side.


“Katsuki, life is like a box of chocolates.”

“Not this angsty shit again…”

“It starts out delightful and fresh, but as you fill yourself with another chocolate for another year, you realize you feel worse and worse. Even though the next chocolate can’t possibly taste worse than the last, it somehow does every time. It’s sickening, and you’ve begun to hate the taste of chocolate, but you keep eating it. Suddenly, you’ve eaten your way to emptiness, and you did it all to yourself. You’re left with nothing but an empty shell of disappointment and unfulfilled hopes—trash. But when you try to throw it away, the world wants you to keep existing as trash.”

“Shoto, I think you should see a therapist.”

Chapter Text

I was just walking home from work, and this guy with red and white hair came strolling down the street with bags overflowing with soba noodles. There were bags hanging from his bags, multiple bags on his arms, bags around his ankles, bags around his neck, bags around his fucking belt, even. This fucking guy was balancing a box of soba on his head and carrying a bag of soba packages in his mouth. And, as expected, the dumbass tripped. This grown-ass man was crying on the street because he dropped his soba.

Chapter Text

“Katsuki, you were adorable as a baby and as a kid.”

“DID MY OLD FUCKING HAG SHOW YOU OLD PICTURES OF ME?”

“Yes.”

“Lemme see yours.”

“No.”

“It’s only fair since you saw my embarrassing fucking pictures.”

“No, please don’t look at mine.”

「A few days later…」

“Shoto, why the hell does it look like you were beaten up in half of your childhood pictures?”

“Because I was.”

“Some motherfucker is gonna die today—”

Chapter Text

“Shoto, I don’t think I can be your boyfriend anymore.”

“...”

“Look at what you’re guilty of.”

“Loving you too much?”

“No.”

“...”

“Shoto, you’re pouring the fucking milk before the fucking cereal.”

Chapter Text

Sexual references.

 

“Kat, want to play Two Truths and a Lie?”

“Hell yeah. You suck at lying.”

“I had a happy childhood.”

“That’s a lie.”

“I love cold soba.”

“What the hell. This is too easy, Shoto.”

“Your moans sound like the ruff of a small dog.”

“FUCK YOU! My fucking turn! I hate losing.”

“True.”

“I never fucking swear.”

“Lie.”

“Last week, you tried to fuck my leg in your sleep.”

“I didn’t know that was possible, but it’s good to know I have impeccable judgment, even in my sleep.”

“You’re hopeless.”

Chapter Text

Dark humor.

 

“Katsuki, I want the noose.”

“The news? Just look for it on your phone, dammit.”

“Smart. I can order one off my phone.”

“Exact—how do you ‘order’ the news on your phone?”

“I’ll figure that out.”

「The next day…」

“Shoto, why’d you order a rope?”

“That’s the noose.”

「A few seconds of Bakugou’s mental lag…」

“WAIT, THAT’S WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?! SHOTO, WHAT THE HELL? NO—”

Chapter Text

Shoto scared the absolute shit out of me today. I was making dinner, and I had a hot pan on the stove that I’d just turned off the burner for. He walked into the kitchen, and I saw him about to move the pan, but not by the handle. I yelled that the pan was hot, but the deed was already done. Shoto’s hand had touched the pan. But this motherfucker just looked at me like I was crazy. His whole damn hand was on the hot pan, and he didn’t flinch or anything! 

“If a hot pan was painful for me to touch, I would really hate my left half.”

“THEN WHAT THE FUCK WITH THE KETTLE INCIDENT?!”

“The boiling water was hot, yes, but the burn is actually from my mom’s ice Quirk, and she didn’t mean to hurt me with her Quirk.”

“Tch. Before you give me a fucking heart attack, don’t pull this shit again.”

“It’s sweet how much you really care about me, Katsuki.”

“Shut up!”

Chapter Text

“Katsuki, do your best impression of me.”

“I want soba. There. I put on the resting bitch face and made my voice monotonous and soft. Do an impression of me.”

“And what the heck makes you think I’d take orders from anyone but myself?”

“Zero out of ten. What the hell was that? Make it sound like you’re pissed off, and swear, dammit. I know you can. You say ‘shit’ every now and again.”

“Shut up.”

“HAH?!”

“Yeah, I told you to shut up. What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Oh, hell no! You shut the fuck up! I hate you.”

“If you take a swan dive off the roof, maybe you’ll be reborn with a better boyfriend that does a better impression of you than me.”

“Tch. I fucking forgot you were doing an impression of me.”

“Rookie mistake, damn extra. Okay, I’m done. Please don’t threaten my soba collection again—”

Chapter Text

Shoto and I got married yesterday, but once I woke up today, he started to fucking cry.

“Shoto, what happened?”

I was so fucking scared I’d fucked something up.

“You don’t understand. When I woke up, I realized something…”

My heart was pounding.

“What? Shoto…”

“Katsuki, every day, I get to wake up next to you, the most beautiful person on the face of the earth…”

Chapter 55

Notes:

happy new year's or new year's eve.

Chapter Text

So, I ordered pizza for dinner last night because why the hell not? It’d been years since I last had pizza. When it arrived, I sat down at the dining table with Shoto, and you know what that fucker did? HE ATE HIS MOTHERFUCKING PIZZA SLICES WITH CHOPSTICKS!

Chapter 56

Notes:

sexual references warning.

Chapter Text

I just got pounded by Shoto, and my ass was on fire. As in, that motherfucker burned the inside of my ass with his goddamn fire Quirk. Yeah, it was his first time, but I wasn’t prepared to have his fucking dick burst into flame when he came!

Chapter Text

“Bakugou.”

“What?”

“What do you want me to list?”

“What the actual hell are you talking about?”

“Your paper says ‘TODO List,’ so what do you want me to list?”

“Have you never heard of a ‘to-do’ list?! It doesn’t say ‘Todo,’ you damn extra!”

“It says my nickname there.”

“Goddammit! Okay, TODO, list one of your biggest secrets.”

“I never thought you’d call me by my nickname. That’s sweet. Oh. One of my biggest secrets? I’m gay for you.”

Chapter Text

“Katsuki, I need help.”

“What’s up?”

“I think…I’m going blind.”

“Wh-What? Shit. When did you notice this?”

“My vision started to change…when I first saw your blinding, unparalleled beauty.”

Chapter Text

So, I’m working at a fastfood place, and this asshole goes through the drive thru and orders, and I quote, ‘a cold, plain cheeseburger.’ I asked him what he meant, and he repeated the same damn line. What did he expect us to do—wait twenty minutes before giving him his burger?! He said he didn’t want a hot one, so y’know what we gave this freak with red and white hair? A plain, frozen patty with two slabs of ice as the buns.

Chapter 60

Notes:

This is a continuation of part 49.

Chapter Text

“Shoto, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“A lot.”

“Yeah, no shit. You just cut your pancakes, then poured the syrup, and then put butter on them?!”

“Yeah. I like soggy pancakes, so I cut them to have the syrup cover the inner parts. Then I pour the syrup so it has more time to soak into the pancakes. I put the butter on last so I can taste it more, and so the syrup doesn’t have another layer to soak through.”

“...”

“What?”

“I’m moving out.”

Chapter Text

It was Halloween yesterday, and while I was busy making dinner, Shoto was answering the door and handing out candy. Well, he was supposed to be handing out candy. I asked him what the first kids to show up at our door picked, and he said cold soba. I asked him what the fuck he was talking about, and y’know what I found out? He was handing out packages of cold soba instead of candy because he wanted to “share its greatness with the kids.”

Chapter Text

“Shoto.”

“Hm?”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Okay.”

I jumped into Shoto’s arms and hugged him tight around his bare chest. And I gotta say, goddamn is that man built.

“The only top you need is me.”

Chapter Text

“Katsuki.”

“What?”

“...”

“Out with it.”

“Sorry, I just wanted to say that you took my breath away.”

“You won’t have any breath left in you when I’m done with your stupid fucking lips!”

Chapter 64

Notes:

it's been 4 months since i updated this?? i've been so busy this year and kind of forgot about this altogether. aiming for the next update to not be a third of a year away from now.

Chapter Text

I was doing math homework with the Icyhot bastard because we were both stuck on the same problem, but for vastly different reasons. Somehow, this asshole did the whole problem right, but he forgot to cube his answer. I told him, “you just need to cube it.”

You know what this fucker did?

HE CUT OUT HIS ANSWER FROM THE HOMEWORK SHEET AND MADE A MOTHERFUCKING TINY-ASS PAPER CUBE OUT OF IT—