Summer in Seoul is sweltering, Jungkook camps on his balcony most nights. The many buildings around forming a cluster of lights. He stares blankly at the opened fridge door, a white light illuminating the dimly lit room. He needs to restock the cheap soju he buys from the Family mart at the turning of his apartment. The lady who runs it is warm with sunken eyes and graying hair, just like any person in their 60s’ but somehow she reminds him of Busan.
His phone lights up with a Ping sound. It’s Jimin, most likely asking him to go on another blind date. Jimin's an omega he met in university, his senior. The hour-long practices in the dance hall got them slowly acquainted with each other. Friday nights are occupied with these dates Jimin sets up, some of them with Omegas and some with Betas, not that Jungkook minds dating Alphas, he just hasn’t met an alpha willing to date another Alpha. The Air Con in his room makes a steady hissing sound as he slips into something comfortable walking out the door.
It was one of those torturous exam nights when Jungkook went over to Jimin’s, disheveled with bags underneath his eyes. Jimin had made him chamomile tea, rambling something about how the tea calms him down. It worked, probably the placebo effect, but he found himself relaxing. Jimin introduced him to Taehyung, his boyfriend. Taehyung was an alpha, he had a square-shaped face and an intimidating stare. Taehyung had come home with fried chicken and soju, Jimin quickly set it up, motioning Jungkook towards the table. That night, he strangely felt welcomed, even after being in Seoul for three whole months. They talked all about how Jimin and Taehyung got together and how bad he’ll screw up the following exam. Jungkook’s caffeine-induced brain was oddly comforted.
Once Jungkook graduated, Taehyung roped him in and they opened up a gallery north of Seoul. It wasn't a fancy one, presentable enough with the limited money Taehyung saved off his desk job and a loan they struggled to get. He loved the gallery, it was a product of many sleepless nights and desperate struggles. Jimin used to come over with food on nights where Jungkook and Taehyung hardly had time to breathe. Jungkook noticed how Taehyung smiled with his eyes on those nights. They loved each other differently, Jimin loud, all about kind gestures while Taehyung did it quietly. Nevertheless, it was a joy to watch both of them. The gallery slowly picked up after two years, gaining a steady client base.
Seoul was bustling when Jungkook first came, with huge buildings towering over each other, people everywhere, jam-packed subways, and never-ending traffic. The city tied him down with streets filled with huge billboards, food vendors, and the constant buzzing energy of pubs. His mother always said the home is where the heart is, and Jungkook left Busan wanting to make a home out of Seoul, but years later, after making a life here in the city, it still didn't quite feel like home. Perhaps, he'll never know the reason why the windows of his heart swayed to the breeze of Busan.
The mart seems quiet during late nights, there’s a High schooler probably around seventeen at the register with headphones on. The tempo of the music echoes as he pays for the soju and picks up the kimbap right next to the counter. He seats himself on the plastic chairs outside the mart biting into the kimbap. He slides open the phone typing Namjoon on the search bar of Instagram, his most recent post was uploaded nine months ago. Very long ago, he muses. It’s not that he’s watching over Namjoon, they talk… just as much as any friends do, but each passing day has Jungkook afraid he’ll lose what’s left of Namjoon. Only for him.
Jungkook was nine when new neighbors moved into the empty house next to his. He stared as the moving vehicle pulled up in front of the gate, followed by an SUV. A tall, but chubby boy jumped out making a sound as his shoes hit the cement. The next evening, Jungkook's mom sent over some Jjigae welcoming the family into the neighborhood. Jungkook couldn't reach the doorbell so he knocked on the door where his hand could reach. A lady opened the door, with a pleasant smile. He entered the house as she went into the kitchen to place the food.
"What's your name?" She asked, handing him a packet of banana milk. "Jeon Jungkook, "Jungkook said quietly, looking around the house that was still being set up.
“How old are you Jungkook?” she asked, placing some food for Jungkook to take back home.
“I’m Nine, turning Ten in September.”
Joon-ah, come over here, she called out for the boy. He appeared minutes later.
“Namjoon-ie’s born in September too, but he’s eight.” she straightened his collar out, smiling at the boy. The boy had nice skin, something he noticed up-close. His eyes like the character from his comics and his cheeks so chubby that his eyes disappeared when he smiled. "I'm Namjoon." the boy said, biting into the corner of his collar, Jungkook stared at him wide-eyed.
"Jungu—" Jungkook stuttered out.
The boy chuckled, two dimples forming into his cheeks as his smile reached his eyes. That seemed to relax Jungkook. He quickly corrected himself "Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook," but his cheeks were already flushed red in embarrassment.
Growing up together, a mere wall could never separate Namjoon and Jungkook. They hung out together day and night, having sleepovers at each other's houses. Namjoon crept into his life slowly but surely. Jungkook was always left delighted with how nice it felt having him around. Namjoon lent him his rollerblades while Jungkook shared all his favorite comics.
The terrace railings had maroon paint chipping off and potted plants scattered to one side. They sat up for hours on end reading manga while sipping on store-bought Sikye. Sometimes when the weather got cold, Jungkook wanted to reach out and touch Namjoon's skin. He didn't quite understand the urge to do it, only that his fingertips tingled with a curious intention.
When Jungkook turned twelve, he caught the girls in his class giggling about a boy, their classmate. One of them being teased about having a crush, the girl denied it outright but the tip of her ears turned red as the teasing went on. That day, for their reading period, Jungkook picked up the dictionary and looked up the word crush. He didn't really understand what it was, but his mind provided Namjoon's name as he pieced the words together. That night, Jungkook went through his brother's comics and accidentally stumbled upon a picture of a girl and a boy kissing. He placed the comic back and ran out to his room. When sleep hit him, he saw Namjoon in his dream.
The dream went something like this: Namjoon was sitting on the terrace on their spot reading one of their comics, Jungkook walked in with a plate of freshly cut fruits in hand. As he places the plate, he tugs at Namjoon's sleeve making him face him fully. He nervously tells him how he wants to touch his skin, Namjoon smiles and places Jungkook's hand on his cheek. His skin was indeed soft, like the velvety side of his favorite blue pillow. Namjoon pops in a strawberry as Jungkook's hand comes to rest on his knees. The strawberry stains Namjoon's lips, juice spilling out from the corner of his lower lip. The evening cold air hits them and Namjoon shivers. Jungkook chews on his lower lip, as he brings out the comic and places it in front of him. He turns the page over, showing Namjoon, as he stares at him tentatively. Namjoon looks puzzled for just a split second, before yanking away Jungkook's hand. He gets up angry, eyebrows knit together as he looks down at Jungkook who's still frozen on his spot. "We're friends hyung, we can't kiss," Namjoon shouts, thunder ripples through the sky at the same time. It starts pouring minutes later and Jungkook cries.
The dream had Jungkook waking up in a cold sweat way before dawn breaks. Sleep's gone out of his system when he gulps down the water placed next to the headboard. He spends the early hours of morning staring blankly at the ceiling, the patterns on the ceiling fan are a budding Lily.
Jungkook presented as an Alpha in the summer, after turning Fifteen, he came down with a fever that broke on the third day and he hardly saw Namjoon those days. His voice broke and when they met Namjoon said he smelled like a campfire. The following year, during winter, Namjoon presented. An Omega.
Jungkook was curious just like any other teenager, and when he heard Namjoon’s parents informing the news to Jungkook’s, he ran to Johyun’s room and got on the internet. He stayed on the web for hours on end, reading about omegas, some kind and some harsh. The articles he came across were outdated, some of them even going to the extent of saying omegas must submit to their alphas. Jungkook however had enough conscience to know nobody's above anyone. Through it all, his adolescent mind concluded he must be there for Namjoon. Not as an alpha, as a friend.
When they met after five days, Namjoon smelled like Baby’s breath, his skin was flushed and they struggled to keep eye contact. Following which Namjoon hit a growth spurt, losing the baby fat and growing taller and beautiful. Seasons changed, years went by and Jungkook watched Namjoon grow right by his side.
"Hyung, I'm taller than you." Namjoon teased. "And I'm older than you." He quipped, locking Namjoon's head in his shoulders. Namjoon stuck his tongue out and Jungkook laughed.
With Namjoon getting pretty day by day it was inevitable for dating prospects to appear. Namjoon was sixteen when he invited Jungkook to meet his boyfriend, an upperclassman who tutored him. The alpha held Namjoon's waist as they sat down in their local cafe. Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood. Namjoon was so blinded, but so happy. He blushed prettily, his cheeks turning a crimson red.
It didn’t last. The Alpha moved away for college.
"Hyung, can you come pick me up?" Namjoon had called, his voice hoarse.
They didn't talk the entire ride home, Namjoon cried throughout. His eyes were swollen. Tear-stained cheeks. They sat under the pale moonlight on the terrace in comfortable silence while Namjoon's sniffles did the talking. Namjoon slept over that night, taking Johyun's room. As Namjoon's sobs echoed through the walls, Jungkook tossed and turned in his bed on the other side. It hurt him to see Namjoon cry, it hurt him in ways he couldn't explain. But deep down the relief, he felt from their separation was only masked by guilt that took the form of a fishbone stuck in his throat.
The next day Jungkook woke him up with Hotteok and Yukgaejang. Namjoon only gave him a lopsided smile. But that in itself was a small win for Jungkook.
School got harder in his last year, but he found friends. Lee-Yo Won was a pretty Beta, his deskmate in class. He snuck out to the school's rooftop with her every evening, the door only held by a flimsy chain. When Yo Won spoke about her boyfriend she met at the tutoring institute, Jungkook’s mind supplied Namjoon’s name but he kept quiet only humming in response.
Jungkook smoked briefly before his entrance exams when the stress got too much. Yo Won got the cigarettes one evening, they got into the backyard of her tutoring institute lighting up as they sat on the window sill. Perhaps it was the smoke or the anxiety about having the preparatory exam the next day. Jungkook spilled his heart, telling her all about Namjoon as the sky got darker. That was the first time he ever spoke of Namjoon in that sense, out loud, and his heart throbbed against his chest as he spelled out each syllable of Namjoon’s name. Yo Won smiled, a knowing one as the flames of her cigarette burned dark.
With the results out, Jungkook got into Seoul's University. The summer before his college, he spent it mostly with Namjoon. They spent their evenings going to the arcade and cafes all around their locality.
"Loser has to give a piggyback ride home," Namjoon said, holding on to the controller.
"You're on," Jungkook smiled, a devilish one.
"Hyung, you can't cheat, you gotta play fair,"
"I don't need to cheat to win over you Namjoon-ah." The implication went over Namjoon's head as Jungkook lost.
"You've gotten heavy Joon-ah, you can't make me do this." He huffed as the words came out strangled.
"Should've thought about that before losing to me." Namjoon retorted.
Jungkook carried him all the way home. Spring was right around the corner and the trees had cherry blossoms flowering in bunches. Even with the aroma of blooming cherry blossoms in the air, it was Baby's breath that filled Jungkook's senses.
Jungkook settled into Seoul, while Namjoon prepared for his entrance exams. They talked sometimes, at night when Namjoon got stressed. Namjoon's hair was disheveled, eyes bloodshot. Jungkook wanted to reach into the phone screen and smooth out the crease on his forehead.
They met at Chuseok that year, Namjoon wore an embroidered shirt. It was ten months, just ten months of being away, but it seemed like Namjoon had only grown prettier. They had their dinners with their families and went on a bike ride.
"Hyung, I-I gotta tell you something," Namjoon said as they sat down on a park bench.
Namjoon slid his fingers up his sleeve, the cold seeping in. "I think, I think I'll be going to Japan for college."
"Oh?" Jungkook tried hard to not show the hurt on his face. "I thought you'd considered Seoul?" Jungkook needed more, an explanation.
"I just think, it's my calling. I want to study literature." Namjoon looked ahead, the park was quiet, with only the sound of leaves rustling in a distance. "You know how my dad gets, took me three months to convince him. He's still iffy about it." Jungkook nodded, he had nothing to say.
"Tokyo?" He looked at Namjoon, his nose was red, a pink tint on his cheekbones. The cold was getting to him.
Namjoon shook his head. "Osaka."
Jungkook pulled off his coat, placing it on top of Namjoon's shoulders. "You'll get cold."
It felt lonely without Namjoon, they spoke on calls after Namjoon moved. Skype, texts sharing pictures of everything. But the time difference had their communication turning feeble. Jungkook found Taehyung and Jimin. And well, Namjoon found new people too. They still talked, informing each other on major things. University life got torturous and Jungkook couldn't keep up. He'd go MIA on Namjoon for days, but Namjoon's patience never deterred even a little.
Kim Namjoon 3:03
Kim Namjoon 3:03
Kim Namjoon 3:04
I'm gonna die if I don't complete this assignment
Is it too late to come back to Korea?
Jeon Jungkook 3:06
Two more years, you gt this!!
Kim Namjoon 3:08
Why u up at this hour? 😳
Jeon Jungkook 3:11
Finalizing color schemes for interior
Kim Namjoon 3:14
Ok, get home safe
Kim Namjoon 3:16
Miss u Jungu 😛
Jeon Jungkook 3:20
Namjoon stopped coming to Korea for chuseok or seollal, and when he did Jungkook was caught up with something in Seoul, and within a blink of an eye, he realized it had been years since they saw each other. Like, really see each other in person and not through pixelated screens and digitized images. Jungkook still remembers how the food tasted like sawdust when Namjoon texted him one night talking about Yoo Seung-Ho.
Kim Namjoon 9:08
I met someone
Kim Namjoon 9:09
He's frm Seoul actually, owns a printing business
Kim Namjoon 9:10
He's in Osaka on a business trip. He's nice
Jeon Jungkook 9:30
Are u happy?
Kim Namjoon 9:32
I'm happy 😊
Jeon Jungkook 9:40
Then I'm happy for you
Seung Ho was an Alpha, Three years older than Namjoon. They met while in Osaka and for Jungkook it seemed like the world stopped momentarily. This time though, the relationship lasted. Namjoon’s mother even gushed about Seung-Ho on seollal that year. The fire pit in their yard burned a raging red that evening, but Jungkook felt like he was set on fire.
September meant a breezy Autumn. With the sun setting came an orange hue reflected onto the glasses of Seoul's buildings. His sleep cycle's wrecked and the post-it notes he left for himself have a long list of to-dos. His phone chimes with a Ding.
Kim Namjoon 12:04
Happy Birthday Jungkook-Hyung
Please stay healthy n happy 😊
Kim Namjoon 12:12
Let's talk when ur free!!
The timestamp between the messages meant that Namjoon overthought sending that message. Jungkook felt restless and hit the dial tone immediately. “You wanted to talk, Joon-ah?"
The silence on the other end was concerning, but Namjoon picked up a cheerful tone and it was obvious he was hiding something. "Happy Birthday Jungu-hyung!"
Namjoon’s voice felt like getting drenched and Jungkook’s always ready to be swept away.
"Ah, You’ll never let that go, will you?" He hopes the embarrassment doesn’t show in his voice. "Never" Namjoon drags the word, chuckling.
“Thank you Namjoon-ah.”
"Why aren’t you at some party, hyung? Thought Seoul people did that." He knows Namjoon's not accusing, it's more of a concern, spending the birthday night alone.
Jungkook chuckles, "Parties are boring."
"You’re the one to say?" Namjoon knows all about his club-hopping days when he first came to Seoul. Jungkook was in search of a distraction after all.
"Hey! I never went out so much." His defense lays only so much.
"Sure, the first year you studied religiously right?"
"Everybody’s reckless in college, get on with it."
"Yeah, I guess" the banter dies down, Jungkook's curiosity gets him. "What did you wanna talk about?"
"I’m coming to Seoul–" Namjoon stalled for a second with hesitation – "in a month, I'm getting to intern at Hwang-Du Publications, they'll consider hiring me after six months of the training period." there's no excitement in his voice, but Jungkook's breath hitches. He hasn't seen Namjoon in so long. He tries to pacify the atmosphere
"That’s amazing, is Seung-Ho Hyung staying with you here?"
"No," Namjoon replies instantly, voice monotonous and that was eerie. "Please tell me you’re not staying alone." he retorts.
"No, I haven’t decided yet, I wanted to talk to you before that."
"Come stay with me then," Jungkook says, not leaving any room for arguments. When they end the call, Jungkook realizes he held onto his shirt’s placket so hard, it left a mark.
Taehyung hands him a cup of iced Americano as they sit across a bench. There's a patch of grey paint smeared across his jaw.
"I'm getting the spare bedroom cleaned out." He says twirling the ice around the coffee cup.
"Get him to meet us once he's moved in and settled," Taehyung sips his coffee making a slurping sound "We could do a little 'Welcome to Seoul' dinner or something."
Jungkook snorts at that. "No offense, but your parties are a disaster, Hyung. My graduation party ended with your neighbors calling the cops on you guys."
"Hey! We just went a little overboard with the music, but otherwise, we're pretty mature and civil okay?"
"Sure. Whatever you say," Jungkook says, grinning.
"Jungkook-ah," Taehyung starts placing his hand on his shoulders "Are you gonna be okay?" Taehyung's concern streamed back to the night Jungkook drunk talked about Namjoon. Jimin and Taehyung listened wide-eyed, as they wriggled nervously wanting to console him.
"I will be," Jungkook says quietly. "Don't worry about me." He smiles.
Namjoon's set to arrive at 4:30 AM KST. Jungkook's at the airport at 4, walls are painted a dull grey, and it's cold. The airport is lively even at such an early hour, it's only understandable, time works differently at airports. Jungkook feels jittery and nervous almost as if he's meeting Namjoon for the first time, which in retrospect is true considering how they’re meeting after so many years.
Kim Namjoon 5:05
Jeon Jungkook 5:06
By the potted magnolia tree
Jungkook tucks his phone into his jacket, getting on his toes to look for Namjoon. And then he sees him. He’s in a simple white t-shirt, with a thick baby blue winter coat. His eyes light up the moment it drops on Jungkook. "Hyung," He’s struggling to pull his trolley and Jungkook needs a moment to take it all in. Namjoon hugs him, winding his hands around Jungkook’s neck, that’s when Jungkook gets a whiff of the baby’s breath, and something twists in his gut.
"It’s been so long," Namjoon says, pulling back and Jungkook realizes he hasn’t greeted him properly. "Are you okay?" Namjoon eyes him, concerned.
"Yeah, Just sleepy," he smiles, taking all of Namjoon’s features in. "Let’s get home, Yeah?" Jungkook takes the bags leading him out.
"You should sleep some more, unpack later okay?" Jungkook shows him to his bed. Namjoon plops onto the bed, the flight was at an odd timing, and his body’s bound to be tired. Jungkook leaves as soon as he hears soft snores.
Breakfast's a casual affair, Jungkook makes kongnamul bap which they have with quail eggs. Namjoon's face is puffy, which happens when his sleep is disrupted. "Wow Hyung, you've grown buff," Namjoon comments, a mischievous glint in his smile. "Gotta use the gym membership somehow," He replies. It still feels like a dream, Namjoon's right in front of him and not on a video call. He's broader, tanner, and cheekbones more defined.
"I was wondering If you'd wanna go out to get lunch? Also, get acquainted with the place and everything." Jungkook says, placing the chopsticks down.
Namjoon chews with a constant pout, Jungkook restrains himself not to glance at his lips. "Yeah sure, I'll be out in an hour."
They get lunch at a simple cafe, Jungkook orders a bubble tea to go along with their meal. Their talks are at surface level, how Namjoon spent his summer after graduation, and whether Jungkook has a partner. Everything friends catch up on when they meet in person. Namjoon relaxes as they navigate the conversation towards his new job.
"The six months' like a trial period, if they find me suitable for their work they'll hire me. Otherwise, I'll have to pack my bags back to Busan." Namjoon says, patting his mouth dry.
Jungkook straightens his back "Dad?" He asks, looking at him through his lashes.
"Yeah, these six months are all he's agreed to. Told me if I didn't make it, he'll come get me himself." Namjoon huffs.
"Nice to know, some things haven't changed at all." Jungkook snorts.
Namjoon insists Jungkook take him to the gallery, show him all the familiar places. Jungkook agrees and drops a text to Taehyung and Jimin that he's bringing Namjoon over. Jungkook tells him things he's learned that helped him keep the routes in mind, although he knows it's highly unnecessary since he'll be there to take him around anyway. Namjoon takes pictures and adds them under the notes titled "Directions", and it's so endearing how textbook his actions are. Jungkook chuckles an airy laugh stopping every time Namjoon snaps a picture. They reach the gallery's neighborhood around 5 PM, and Jungkook takes a picture of Namjoon under a cherry blossom tree when Namjoon insists "Take a picture of me here, Hyung."
Taehyung and Jimin are warm to Namjoon, and Namjoon falls into conversation with them easily having known all about them through Jungkook. They end up at a BBQ restaurant adjacent to the gallery.
"I've never been to Japan, how's the food there?" Jimin asks him.
"It's pretty good, although I mostly stuck to Korean food," Namjoon replies.
"Not a fan of seafood right? I've heard from Jungkook-ie." Jimin smiles through his eyes.
"Yeah–" he ducks his head in embarrassment, –"I prefer red meat, Hyung."
"This isn't what we planned for your welcome to Seoul party Namjoon-ah," Taehyung says, pouring cider onto his glass. "We'll get you a better one soon."
"Ah Hyung, no, that's not necessary at all. This dinner's been nice for me."
"You can always come talk to us, yeah? I'll ask Jungkook to share our numbers with you." Jimin pipes in. Namjoon nods, smiling widely.
The night sky has gotten darker when they step out of the restaurant. Jungkook places a scarf around Namjoon's neck, his coat hardly keeping the cold out. They say their goodbyes.
"I feel like I saw the entirety of Seoul today." He says as he kicks off his shoes in the entryway.
"You probably saw like 10% of the city," Jungkook replies plopping onto the couch.
Jungkook and Namjoon once went without talking to each other for a week. Jungkook was coming to terms with his feelings for Namjoon, and it added more fuel to the fire when Namjoon had his first crush on one of the alphas above Jungkook’s class.
Jungkook sat with Namjoon during lunch. It was winter and they wore an extra coat on top of the school sweater. Namjoon plopped into the seat next to him, Jungkook switched the tuna on Namjoon's tray with a fried egg. Namjoon bought him strawberry milk in return. They were talking about something trivial, Yo-won going on about how her parents were already planning on enrolling her into summer school when Namjoon dropped his chopsticks. Jungkook glanced up looking in the direction of Namjoon's eyes to find an alpha, a senior, and a handsome one too.
Yo-won caught on instantly, "Namjoon-ie's got a crush, Jungkooks." She commented licking into the chopstick. Namjoon turned red, not meeting their eyes. He didn't deny it. He didn't deny it and Jungkook felt like he was strangled by a copper wire. The air in his lungs was harder to keep, harder to breathe. He should've chosen his words carefully, taken time before acting up. But he was a teenager and the blood beneath his skin boiled to a scalding temperature.
"Maybe you should focus on your homework instead of eyeing alphas all day." He said and marched out of the canteen without a second glance. Jealousy evoked something dark, the words tasted like tar on his tongue. Namjoon was left stunned.
Guilt turned his blood acidic. His mind replayed the ordeal, again and again, screaming at him. Jungkook waited for Namjoon outside the school that day but learned from his classmates that he left as soon as the bell rang. Yo-won threw him a guilty look, and it felt like the tar was gushing into his lungs. Namjoon didn't come over that day, and Jungkook wasn't ready to go knocking on Namjoon's door just yet. Shame was bigger, bigger than guilt itself.
Namjoon didn't look at him at school, sat by himself at lunch, and kept to himself. The week went by in a blur and Jungkook had a constant sinking feeling. Breathless and helpless. On the eighth day, Yo-won intervened having had enough of the moping. She got Namjoon to stay after school, and Jungkook thanked her, squeezing her hand. Namjoon had his arms crossed, just like the times Jungkook beat him in video games when he was eleven and Namjoon was ten. They sat down at the cemented pavilion at the school atrium. It was small, compared to the neighbouring schools, but enough for the school events.
"I'm sorry Joon-ah, that was out of line." Jungkook faced him, Namjoon stayed looking ahead, not convinced. Some seniors were practicing Basketball on the court towards the far end.
"That was disrespectful, and I just– I have no excuse." He tugged on Namjoon's bag strap, Namjoon's eyebrows were knitted.
"Look at me," he said, turning Namjoon's face in his hands. "Forgive me?" Namjoon huffs looking away.
"Tell you what, you can call me Jungu for an entire month." Namjoon's face seemingly relaxed, lips twitching into a smile.
"Even at school?" He asks, grinning lightly.
"Everywhere but school." And that seemed to pacify Namjoon.
"I'll take it." He says smiling widely. Jungkook smiled back, mirroring him. The tar in his lungs melted out, replacing a clearwater stream.
The next day's a Sunday, Namjoon's got to report at the publication on Monday. They laze around all morning, ordering subway and coffee for brunch. Namjoon unpacks, Jungkook helps him sort out the room. He orders pizza for dinner which they have with a glass of rice wine.
Jungkook drops him to work come Monday morning, Namjoon fiddles with his file binder. "I know, you're nervous. But you got this okay?" Jungkook says, getting out of the car.
Namjoon nods, the tip of his nose turning red with the cold. "Text me when you're getting off, I'll pick you up. Good luck Joon-ah." Jungkook smiles, holding onto Namjoon's shoulders. Namjoon gives him a nervous smile walking off.
"Seokjin-hyung is the sweetest hyung, I was unnecessarily terrified," Namjoon's eyes were wide. "He even asked me to call him hyung." A smile appeared on his face as he chewed on."The pictures do no justice, he's also really handsome in person, like a drama actor." Jungkook chewed some more tteokbokki while Namjoon rambled on.
"How was your day?" Namjoon continued.
"Same old, had few meetings with prospective clients, hoping to sign off a deal."
"How's living with Namjoon going?" Taehyung asks as he's setting up the blank canvas. Jungkook groans covering his face.
"That bad huh?" Taehyung chuckles.
"I thought it would be easy, but here I am," Jungkook covers his eyes with his palms.
"Jungkook-ah, you've really got it bad," Taehyung laughs, throwing his head back.
"None of those blind dates your boyfriend set me up with has helped, I can't move on and I'll be stuck. This is gonna be my life."
"Do you really wanna move on Kook-ah?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just saying, there's probably a part of you that's reluctant to let him go because you think you stand a chance with him. Do you think maybe some teeny tiny part of your brain hopes he might reciprocate your feelings?"
"I don't know hyung," Jungkook's staring at his feet now.
"You'll never know unless you try."
On the Friday of Namjoon's first week in Seoul, Jungkook gets a call from his brother. "How's Namjoon?" Johyun asks, and Jungkook can hear the slight commotion in the background.
"He's good, adjusting well to the city," Jungkook says, wandering out of the gallery to talk better. "Why isn't he staying with Seung-ho hyung? I don't think Namjoon even met him after coming to Seoul."
"Jungkook-ah, they broke up. It's been months already."
Jungkook's heart sinks "What? Why?"
"If he hasn't told you yet, then It's not my place to tell you, you gotta talk to him, but yeah, they broke up sometime in January I guess. It was pretty bad, He wasn't doing well at all initially, and that's one of the reasons Namjoon's dad even agreed to send him to Seoul." Johyun's voice drops low. That explains why there are no pictures of Seung-ho on Namjoon's handle. Jungkook still doesn't understand why Namjoon hadn't informed him.
That evening Jungkook picks him up from work. As Namjoon walks out for dinner, Jungkook questions him "When were you going to tell me you broke up?" Namjoon goes rigid. "Were you even planning to tell me?"
Namjoon sighs, looking down at his feet. "It's nothing Hyung, just– we broke up. It's nearly been a year I guess." There was a slight but noticeable lull in the way Namjoon spoke.
"You've never hidden anything from me Joon-ah, I understand not talking about it but it's been a year and I-I didn't even know." Namjoon stands up and the chair scrapes against the floor causing a metallic screech. Jungkook holds on to his wrist.
"I won't force you to talk, just- don't leave me in the dark. I just wanna be here for you."
"I feel pathetic hyung," his lips trembled. "He cheated on me, I found him with this– this pretty Omega, it's so cliche," Namjoon breathes in, a broken laugh coming out "He told me, she was just a friend, and I found them together in bed when I went to see him." Tears streaked out of his eyes.
Jungkook reached out wiping the tears, his eyelashes were nestled together.
"Three years, three years of relationship gone just gone– down the drain." Namjoon sobbed. Jungkook caressed his hands with his thumb. "It was hard, it was really hard. I blamed myself, blamed him, blamed the Omega. What not. But yeah. It's just… I've moved on now. Trust me I have. I'm just, I feel like a fool." Jungkook kneeled in front of him, rubbing soothing circles on his back.
"Joon-ah, Cry it out. Let it all go. But promise yourself this will be the last time you cry about this." He cups Namjoon's face wiping off his tears with the pad of his thumbs. Namjoon looked pretty, pretty, even crying. His lips turned a dark pink and his eyes had a soft curve. Jungkook's heart sank, it hurt to see him this way.
"It's all just too much, Hyung. I honestly think I'm not made for this."
"Listen to me Namjoon. I don't want you to cry about him ever again. You've got a lot of love to give, sometimes you end up giving it to the wrong person, that doesn't mean you deny yourself the chance to give it to the right person when the time comes okay?" Namjoon lunges forward, hugging Jungkook, Jungkook unable to balance lets his back hit the kitchen floor. Namjoon's forehead rests on Jungkook's clavicle, Jungkook's scent calming him, a strange relief flooding his stomach. They lay there holding onto each other until sobs turned into soft breathing.
"Joon-ah?" Jungkook asks, breaking the silence.
"Not that I mind this, but the kitchen floor isn't the place we usually sleep." Namjoon scrambles off immediately, a hardly there pink tinge coating his cheeks. "Sorry"
"Go sleep, I'm always here to talk okay?" Jungkook stands dusting off his pants. Namjoon nods.
The next morning, Jungkook finds Namjoon sleeping in late, it being Saturday and all. When Namjoon's up, his eyes are swollen from all the crying. He walks into the hall where Jungkook's checking some emails.
"Hyung, coffee." He says without as much as opening his eyes.
"Did you even brush your teeth?" Jungkook asks, letting a breath out of his nose.
"Coffee!" Namjoon calls out plopping onto the couch as his head rests onto Jungkook's right arm.
"Jeez, okay," Jungkook says, getting up to pour some while a smile tugs at Namjoon's lips.
They idle away the entire afternoon, Namjoon proofreads some book he was assigned and Jungkook catches on to his new assignment. When evening rolls around, Namjoon walks over to Jungkook's room. "Hyung?" He calls out.
Jungkook perks up from his laptop raising his eyebrows in a silent question. "Can you, Uhm, can you scent me?" Namjoon's voice comes out almost like a whisper. It's not that they haven't scented each other all their lives, but asking to be scented only meant that his scent helped Namjoon, and Jungkook preens at the thought. "Of course." He replies.
Namjoon's body visibly relaxes in Jungkook's hold, his face brightening. "Do you wanna sleep here tonight?" Jungkook asks, hoping he's not overstepping any lines. Namjoon nods eagerly, grinning at him.
They sleep with their backs facing each other, Jungkook maintains a fair amount of distance not wanting to intrude Namjoon's space. The scent within the room turns into a blend of both their scents. And Namjoon sleeps with a content smile that night.
Living with Namjoon isn't all that different. They hardly stayed apart in Busan anyway. Namjoon sleeps over at Jungkook's room at least three times a week, their bodies rarely touch but there's a familiar comfort that comes with being in each other's presence. Jungkook finds Namjoon spread out on his bed with books, a laptop, and a half-filled coffee cup on more than one occasion, he tucks him into the blanket properly, smiling to himself. The apartment is always filled with baby's breath and it strangely feels like home. Jungkook cooks, while Namjoon does the dishes. They go on walks to the corner cafe across the street, trying new desserts every week. It's hard to keep up with Namjoon's sweet tooth so Jungkook ups his workouts by a notch. Namjoon is slowly getting used to the routes. He did get lost on a Wednesday, and Jungkook had to go pick him up but he's doing fairly well remembering their locality.
As days pass by Jungkook is faintly reminded of pink cheeks, cherry blossoms, and Maroon-colored railings.
"Hyung, I need you to be my plus one to the celebration party," Namjoon begins. "Jin-hyung specifically asked me to attend, there are a lot of big names on the list. He says it's to broaden my network."
"Just give me a date and time, I'll take you" Jungkook appeases.
Namjoon stands at the entryway, dressed in a simple yet elegant satin dress shirt, with leather trousers. As Jungkook scans Namjoon, there are too many thoughts floating around his head. One that's so proud of Namjoon growing up to be such a fine omega but also the one that wants to touch, feel and know, he quietly files the latter away into a hidden folder in his brain.
"This is Seokjin Hyung, and that's Hoseok Hyung. Hoseok Hyung is the marketing head of the company." Namjoon points towards them. Seokjin is indeed a handsome alpha, Jungkook notices, his face looks like it's sculpted to perfection with beautiful eyes and full lips. Hoseok's a beta, he can smell it. He has a heart-shaped face, with a smile that seems friendly and approachable.
"Jeon Jungkook, nice to meet you."
"Jungkook-hyung owns a gallery downtown, he's an artist and a really good one at that." Namjoon smiles, fondly. Jungkook feels something flutter in his stomach as he glances at him shyly.
"Namjoon's spoken so much about you, it feels like I've already known you for years." Seokjin chuckles.
"Ah, I hope it's all good things Seokjin-ssi." Jungkook scratches the nape of his neck.
"Of course, and please call me Hyung, there's no need for formalities." Seokjin smiles.
Jungkook observes Namjoon leaning towards Hoseok as they converse. Comfort that comes with working alongside each other, Jungkook presumes. But, he remembers the bitter taste jealousy left him with.
"So, how long have you guys been together?" Seokjin asks, amused at Jungkook glaring at Hoseok.
"Oh, no-no. We're just friends." Seokjin doesn't miss the trickle of hurt that flashes through Jungkook's eyes.
"I sure hope you glaring at my mate is in good regards then, Jungkook." Seokjin smirks.
Jungkook splutters. "Uh– oh I-I'm sorry, I didn't know Hoseok-ssi and you're mated, I-I was just– " He says without maintaining eye contact.
"Here's my card Jungkook-ah, any friend of our Namjoonie is mine too. Please call me when you want to get a drink." He walks away with a satisfied smile leaving Jungkook utterly confused.
Namjoon introduces Min Yoongi, another alpha apparently working in the graphic design team. The alpha couldn't stay for a conversation, but the two minutes of greetings had Jungkook on his heels. Yoongi was… was, just Namjoon's type, he knows that.
Something burns at the seams of his heart. It's pathetic, picturing Namjoon with every random Alpha. It stings, but there's no point in searching for relief.
The night ends with Jungkook almost carrying a tipsy Namjoon into the hallway, Namjoon's words slurring, he reeks of alcohol but this only reminds Jungkook of the time Namjoon stole rice wine from his house cabinet. Jungkook had to let him crash at his room that night, the brat couldn't even hold his alcohol.
"Alcohol makes me feel warm, Hyung" he slurs as Jungkook takes his shoes off for him.
"You make me feel warm too," Namjoon says, and Jungkook feels like he's heard something he shouldn't have.
"Joon-ah, you gotta sleep now." He tries to pacify.
"I missed you, Hyung, I missed you so much. I never realized how much I missed you until I got to be with you again." Namjoon's eyes roll back, he's passing out in the hall and Jungkook has to act fast to get him to his room, but the words Namjoon says get the world slowing.
"I missed you more," Jungkook whispers before placing a feather-light kiss on Namjoon's forehead.
"I'm never drinking again," Namjoon announces walking into the hall. Jungkook snorts, placing Aspirin and some water on the counter. "Take this."
Around evening, Namjoon walks into Jungkook's room. "Are you free?" He says sitting at the footboard of the bed.
"Depends," Jungkook teases.
"Let's go visit the Hannam bridge please?" He pulls Jungkook's sleeve "I wanna get bubble tea"
"Yeah right, you'll end up with a coffee, I know." Jungkook stares accusatively.
"Hyung, but I just wanna go. Please," Namjoon drags on his lips almost forming a pout.
"Yeah okay," Jungkook rolls his eyes.
They walk along the bridge, taking pictures of the sunset. Namjoon buys some cotton candy which he blatantly refuses to share. Buy your own, Hyung he says, and Jungkook laughs sticking his tongue out. They talk all about Namjoon keeping up with the hustle-bustle of Seoul, and how Jungkook's paintings are coming along.
It almost feels like a date, almost.
"Do you remember, Hyun-woo? My classmate, the omega, had a super-rich dad." Namjoon asks as they seat themselves in a cozy cafe just a few meters from the bridge.
"Nope, Doesn't ring a bell," Jungkook knit his eyebrows, eyes staring into the distance like he's trying hard to recollect.
The waiter serves them a strawberry iced tea and a Hazelnut Latte. "He came to school in a BMW, hyung. One of the popular ones of my class," Namjoon continues, blowing over the coffee. "He had a crush on you."
Jungkook exhales, a breathy laugh coming out. "He'd given me his number in a strip of paper and asked me to pass it over to you," Namjoon sips "ohhh, hmm god, this is good." he muses running his tongue over his lips.
"I don't remember any number being given to me," Jungkook asks, taking a sip of his drink.
"Because I didn't give it to you, obviously," Namjoon replies nonchalantly, eyeing the menu card.
"I just didn't, this guy doesn't talk to me all year and only approaches me to set him up with you?" Namjoon laughs, mocking.
"Why didn't you?" Jungkook asks, amused.
"I didn't want him dating you."
"Why, though?" Jungkook's smile turns into a smirk. "Were you jealous?"
Jungkook's smile stays mischievous. "Wanted your Jungkook-hyung, all to yourself?" He asks, playful.
Namjoon freezes, eyes widening. He gulps, his eyelashes fluttering, His eyes drift over the walls of the cafe, seemingly getting drawn away. Biting into his lower lip, he plays with the saucer.
"Joon, the story," Jungkook continues. Namjoon stares at Jungkook with a blank expression. Jungkook taps Namjoon's hand, motioning for him to continue. "I said, finish your story." He repeats. And a flash later, Namjoon seems to focus on the prevailing conversation.
"Yeah, he's getting married, end of the year." Namjoon finishes, gulping down the coffee, looking elsewhere.
As they drive back home, Namjoon seems fazed. His eyes drifting over the distance outside the window like he's thinking something intently. His face stays concentrated but he rocks his legs, playing with a stray string on the sleeve of his sweater. When they reach home, he snaps the string walking into his room.
Jungkook sits wide-legged on the couch, twisting and turning. The window in Namjoon's room thuds against the wall, the weather turning windy every minute. As he looks over, he observes Namjoon changing, the door laying half-open. Namjoon stands tall, peeling off his pants to change into his pajamas, the defined muscles of his thighs contracting and relaxing with every movement. As he trades his shirt with a baggy jersey, Jungkook's eyes trace his back that flexes as the fabric drapes snugly on his skin. His broad shoulders, the veins spreading across his neck dipping into his clavicle, and the band of skin that stretches down, down… down into his hips.
Thunder rumbles in the distance, light shimmering into the sky a beat later. He forces his eyes to look away, blood surging into his face. His heartbeat thuds in tandem with the patter of the first raindrops falling from the sky.
Jungkook is invited by Namjoon for the book reading over the weekend. Jungkook arrives on the dot, eyes finding Namjoon as soon as he enters the venue. He grins at him throughout the event making little expressions at the setup around the room indicating his appreciation. Namjoon smiles, almost… shy?
When Namjoon finds him in conversation with Seokjin, he joins them, leading them all towards the buffet. "Jungkook?" A person taps on Jungkook's shoulders, Namjoon turns along with him. He's an Omega, pretty one, he's dressed in a formal suit that's doing everything to show off his lean body. Jungkook recognizes him easily and they fall into greetings. Namjoon clears his throat, getting their attention.
"Oh, Namjoon-ah, this is Ho-Jin, Ho-Jin-ah this is Namjoon." Jungkook gestures at them. Ho-Jin bows at Namjoon, with a pleasant smile on his face. "We– Uhm." Jungkook stutters, embarrassed.
"We hooked up once or twice, Namjoon-ssi, that's how we know each other." Ho-Jin completes with an embarrassed chuckle. Jungkook looks down at his feet, flustered. He doesn't know if his mind is playing tricks on him, or if it's just wishful thinking but he notices a flicker of frown spreading on Namjoon's face.
"What are you doing here?" Ho-Jin asks.
"Namjoon works as an intern in the publication and he invited me," Jungkook replies smiling. Namjoon fidgets in his spot, almost uncomfortable, and Jungkook glances at him nervously.
"What about you?" He questions back. "I'm the grandson of the author, I'm here to support him," Ho-Jin replies pointing in the direction of the author. As Jungkook glances at Namjoon, he observes Namjoon's expression softening, he follows his line of sight to find Yoongi.
It's been years, he should be used to it now, but the burn jealousy leaves on his skin is scarring.
"Are you okay?" Jungkook asks. "Tired" Namjoon replies and stares out the window without glancing at him. Namjoon doesn't utter a single word the entire way home and that leaves Jungkook feeling icky.
"Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Namjoon asks, late that night a little frown still resting on his face. "Yeah, of course," Jungkook says, sensing Namjoon's scent turning dull.
As they lay in bed, backs facing each other, air tensing around them, Jungkook resists the urge to prod Namjoon to speak about whatever's bothering him. After what feels like hours, Namjoon flips over, Jungkook following right after. Namjoon's eyes stay firmly closed, but he seems to be struggling to fall asleep. His face is concentrated, a stray strand of hair tickling his eyelashes. Jungkook reaches forward, brushing it to the sides, Namjoon sighs, face relaxing eventually.
He observes the soft lines of his cheeks, his cupid's bow, lips that look so soft. He wants to trace out, touch the slope of his lower lip, will they feel as soft as they look?
It's almost precarious the inexplicable urge, all of Jungkook's thoughts rush into a stream consuming him.
Namjoon's breathing is steady; he's probably asleep, with a surge of bravery, he grazes Namjoon's cheekbone with the faintest touch of his thumb. Feeling the soft skin against his fingers has a rush of electric fizz shooting up his spine. He drags his finger across his cheeks, pausing momentarily at the corner of Namjoon's lips. Jungkook's heart thuds against his rib, breath turning ragged. With an ickle of courage, his thumb skims across his lower lip.
His eyes glance at Namjoon's eyes for just a moment, realization sinking into him coldly as Namjoon lays staring at him unreadable underneath his eyelashes, eyes wide open. Jungkook's reflex seizes, his finger staying on Namjoon's lips against his will. Everything comes to a standstill, and it's just Jungkook and Namjoon unmoving as the moment freezes like they're stuck in a vortex.
Namjoon shifts closer, and the shuffling sounds loud in the stillness of the apartment. Jungkook realizes a beat later, that Namjoon's face is resting in the crook of his neck, battling his mind he wraps his hands around Namjoon snuggling closer. There's a faint siren in the distance, the faraway rumble of traffic, and low pitched whistling of the night breeze.
The golden threads of morning light leaking into the room wake Jungkook. Namjoon lays flush against his chest, something tender in his scent. Jungkook wants to hold on just a moment longer, stay within this little bubble that has Namjoon in his arms. Namjoon stirs awake and Jungkook reluctantly let's go. They step out quietly, engaging themselves with the day.
They don't talk about it. It was momentary, just two friends finding comfort, Jungkook concludes. The conclusion came from denial or consolation he's yet to know. But, he was certain it was fleeting and unlikely to happen again, bound to quickly fade and turn into dust. Dust that will be swept away. A blip.
It happens again sixteen days later(not that Jungkook kept count or anything). He had a pretty shitty day, his client wasn't satisfied with the painting, and the deadlines overlapped. Taehyung gave him a lopsided smile when things went awry. It's worse when Taehyung doesn't lash out at Jungkook like he's supposed to, but he's a good friend and it's painful to see the disappointment on Taehyung's face.
He steps into the apartment making his way straight to his room. Namjoon is busy making coffee in the kitchen when he notices Jungkook. He hops over to Jungkook's and finds him lying on the bed.
"Did you have dinner on your way back?" Namjoon asks as he sits on the floor trying to level his face with Jungkook's. Jungkook only nods.
"Bad day?" Namjoon's voice is tender, his eyes boring into Jungkook's. Jungkook sighs, nodding.
Namjoon walks over, getting into the bed with Jungkook. Jungkook goes lax when he feels Namjoon's body flush against his back. So warm. They stay there, immobile as their breathing evens out.
He feels Namjoon's breath tickle the nape of his neck and heaves a sigh. Namjoon's scent tunes into his need, soothing him as he relaxes his body. He rolls over, wanting a bit more. Namjoon accommodates, and then they're face to face. Namjoon looks warm and the proximity feels mellow to Jungkook.
He reaches forward burying his nose into Namjoon's neck, chasing after the scent, after the comfort. Namjoon tenses with the touch but relaxes a beat later. He noses along his scent gland wanting more, feeling more, in search of something, anything. The scent fills up all of Jungkook's senses, but it's not enough. He grazes his lips across Namjoon's scent gland, a faint touch, and Namjoon shivers beneath him. The rational part of his brain is blaring alarms, a loud buzzing sound, that this isn't how friends scent each other. This isn't just comfort. The lines keep blurring and Jungkook's drowned too deep to realize.
The weeks after which, Jungkook's brain is hyper focussed, every touch, every interaction, every gaze, every smile feels too big. There's a shift, they know it, it's visible in the shy glances Namjoon makes at Jungkook when he thinks he's not looking.
Visible in the times they've shared Jungkook's bed.
Visible in the tentative sentences Namjoon speaks, piecing every word as if he'll stumble into uncharted territory.
Visible in the way Namjoon seeks him out, how they're drawn to each other.
Visible in the permanent pink tinge resting on Namjoon's cheeks.
They're far from treading into talking about this, whatever's going on between them. It's an unspoken pact and if that's a way he can have this with Namjoon, he's ready to go on forever.
Jungkook and Taehyung sign a deal with their biggest client yet, an architect working on the upcoming galleria nearby. If the sample pieces are approved, they have a chance at bagging their biggest client with yearly contracts. Which is a big step.
Of Course, Jimin insists they celebrate it. Jungkook informs Namjoon who's as elated as he is. He picks him up from work and they head over to an upscale restaurant.
They make small talk as the waiter serves them the first set, Namjoon all about his work and Jungkook tells them about this weird request he got from a client for a painting. Conversation flows naturally and it gets them all giggling as they paddle through embarrassing memories and the inside jokes they've shared throughout the years.
As they immerse themselves into a conversation about the gallery, Jimin slides into the seat next to Namjoon's. "How did you get together, Hyung?" Namjoon asks, placing his elbow on the table.
"Tae was my friend, before all of this began," Jimin says, twirling the ring around his finger as Namjoon listens to every sentence intently. "We were drunk, and we hooked up one night, I think I liked him way before that." Jimin smiles, looking at Taehyung, "We tried dating other people, but Jealousy got us confronting each other and the rest is history."
"That's amazing, finding someone to spend the rest of your life with." Namjoon smiles, fondly. Taehyung glances at Jungkook, a mischievous smile adorning his face.
"Sometimes you don't realize the person you've been wanting to be with is most likely right next to you," Jimin says as he eyes Taehyung with the biggest grin. Taehyung returns a fond look.
Namjoon stills for a moment, but glances at Jungkook hesitantly biting his lip like he's thinking through something. Little puzzle pieces falling into place. Jungkook smiles at him and Namjoon looks away like he's been caught.
They leave the restaurant a little tipsy but stomachs full of food and desserts. "More wine?" Namjoon asks when they lie down on the couch. "Aren't you drunk enough?" Jungkook chuckles.
"Don't be such a killjoy, I'm celebrating."
They end up having two glasses watching a rerun of an old drama. When Namjoon walks over to the kitchen to place the bottle back, Jungkook follows, Namjoon lets out a small " oof– ” as his front hits the edge of the cabinet as Jungkook hugs him from behind. He wraps his arms around Namjoon's waist laying his head over his shoulders. Namjoon pats his hands smiling. He spins around facing Jungkook, "I'm so happy for you," He says, his voice slurring.
"Thank you," Jungkook replies, fluttering his eyes shut momentarily, as he pulls Namjoon closer.
A minute later, Namjoon whispers, "Hyung.." as he looks into Jungkook's eyes with an unreadable expression. They're face to face now, closer than before… which is close. Jungkook feels Namjoon's breath on him. He tries so hard not to glance down, but with a battle lost to his heart his gaze drops to Namjoon's lips. His lips are so pretty. Plush and pink, so inviting. Namjoon's eyes are pooling with anticipation when he glances at them.
There are no voices this time, telling him to halt or think this through. It's probably the endorphins or the wine, or just having Namjoon so close. Jungkook leans forward ever so lightly and presses his lips onto Namjoon's. Namjoon tenses for just a second before melting into the kiss unhurriedly.
Namjoon's lips are warm, soft, and fit so perfectly onto Jungkook's, like it was made for him. Jungkook quickly breaks the kiss leaving Namjoon to look at him through his eyelashes. There's a pretty flush on Namjoon's cheek. He places his knuckles on Namjoon's cheeks softly "Was that okay?" He asks, his voice was barely audible.
"Yes," Namjoon replies, glancing down.
Jungkook sweeps Namjoon off his feet to place him on the kitchen counter, standing between his legs, before going in for more. He presses his lips tentatively, his brain repeating this is Namjoon, you're kissing Namjoon, a thousand miles per hour. He gently cups Namjoon's cheeks to angle him better and kisses with desperation. Years of need and craving rushing into the bottom of his spine right from his scalps. He nips at Namjoon's bottom lip taking turns to lick across his mouth. He bites on his lower lip trying to access his tongue, Namjoon opens up only for Jungkook to immediately nibble on his tongue. He's so pliant, welcoming, letting him explore.
Namjoon tastes like evenings spent on the terrace, like rainy days spent together under the covers. It feels like coming home. He tastes the remnants of the white wine they had, but it's so much sweeter on Namjoon's tongue. A pleasant reminder that I'm kissing Namjoon, he's kissing me back, shooting up his nerves. Namjoon's scent sweetens with every slide of their lips against each other. He winces slightly, as Jungkook sucks on his lower lip, bruising it a little.
They stay kissing each other for what feels like hours, when they break off, Namjoon looks dazed and his entire face is rosy. Shades of scarlet resting on his neck. In the silence of the flat, they both can hear the throbbing of their hearts. The street light from the window casting onto Namjoon's face, making him look ethereal. Like he's a beautiful illusion. Unreal.
Jungkook carries Namjoon into his room, placing him gently on the bed. They let their silence do the talking. Namjoon averts his gaze, cheeks flushed. Jungkook places a soft kiss on his forehead and retreats into his room. A satisfied smile on his face and a sugary twinge resting on his lips.
As soon as he walks into his room, he picks up the phone. His breathing is still uneven. "Hyung, I just kissed him." Jungkook squeaks, hoping his voice isn't high-pitched.
"What?" Taehyung asks, confused on the other end.
"I kissed Namjoon, he kissed me back. Holy shit! When did I get this brave? I feel like my knees are gonna give out. Hold on, I'll just sit down." Jungkook rambles on.
"Finally! I knew there was something going on, thought we'd have to intervene to get you both to stop dancing around each other… Jimin-ah, they kissed," he hears Taehyung tell Jimin "Jimin says, it was about time." Jungkook only chuckles.
He lies down after ending the call, placing his head on the pillow only to replay the kiss like a broken record player. He knows he'll hardly sleep tonight. But when sleep hits him, it's with a smile lingering on his face.
The next day, Jungkook wakes up to find Namjoon's room empty. He shrugs it off thinking he needed to get to work early. When they're around each other, Namjoon's gaze is stern, he averts his eyes but there are questions running in his mind. Their talk stays within the boundaries of the mundane. Jungkook's starting to feel like there's smoke in his windpipe. He tries. He tries so hard to talk. When he offers Namjoon to pick him up from work, Namjoon refuses scrambling to get out of the conversation. The smoke feels thicker as days go on.
Namjoon mostly stays out of the flat on the premise of being busy, making small talk when they're around each other. Jungkook understands the deadline for the book Namjoon is currently working on is drawing closer, he's bound to be busy. But he feels like he's drowning. A strange feeling of losing Namjoon. Like his voice is muffled, and unreachable.
"I think I've fucked up, he doesn't even look me in the eyes anymore." Jungkook cradles his skull in his hands.
"Jungkook-ah, give him some time, will you? He's probably conflicted." Taehyung holds out his hand.
"What if he leaves me? I just sabotaged the friendship we had for years, Hyung," He groans. "Why did I have to kiss him? Why did he have to kiss me back? God, I just... I just wish I could talk to him."
"He loves you to ever think of letting you go Jungkook, this is Namjoon we're talking about. The same guy who fought your parents when they wanted to send you away to boarding school. Give him some time, he'll come around." Taehyung ruffles his hair.
"I hope so."
Namjoon ends up working overtime almost two weeks in a row, the job taking a toll on his physical as well as mental resilience. He walks around disturbed and Jungkook senses it. When he places a coffee next to him telling him you've got this, Namjoon only gives him a lopsided smile.
Jungkook knows they'll talk eventually, asking if the kiss bothered Namjoon. Or if he just wants to forget about the kiss. But it's hard. Waiting without really knowing the outcome of this all. Most of all he's afraid that this will all blow up in their faces and he'll lose Namjoon forever.
Namjoon's all he got, after all, his best friend. His first love.
That night as Jungkook watches Namjoon get out of Yoongi's car, it feels like he's got thorns around his throat. Jealousy gets the worst out of him. But, frustration fueled with jealousy was bound to be a recipe for disaster. As soon as Namjoon enters their flat, Jungkook holds on to his wrist.
"Why do you smell like him?" He asks. The thorns around his throat get tighter, jealousy, persistent in his body, like a mutated virus.
"I'm not in the mood today Hyung, j-just let it go okay?"
"Let me at least scent you–" Jungkook moves closer to Namjoon. Namjoon only pushes him.
"You need to stop whatever you're doing, Hyung. This isn't a game. It's not funny anymore,"
Jungkook scoffs but there's hurt plastered all over his face. "Game? You think I'm playing a game? Why can't you just notice me for once?" He lets go of Namjoon's hand.
"What?" Namjoon's jaw practically drops as his voice barely comes out as a whisper.
"It hurts me to see you with him," he scrambles to get words out of him, eyes dazed pooling with hurt and breathing ragged. "You're avoiding me, you don't even wanna talk," he tries to steady his breath "It's been weeks Namjoon, you can't avoid me forever, we don't treat each other like this." Jungkook's voice breaks.
"Hyung, what are yo– ?"
"I'm in love with you." He drops it, he had thought about this moment at least a million times. What if he laughs? What if he's disgusted? What if he doesn't believe me? An array of what-ifs spanning every inch in the fabric of his imagination. He hoped for smiles and sobs, but all that's left is the cold silence between the walls.
Namjoon's lips are parted, his eyes narrowing onto a distant object like he's trying to digest it. "I'm in love with you, Namjoon," Jungkook repeats, his voice broken, as he chokes back a sob, walking away leaving Namjoon frozen on the spot.
Namjoon doesn't sleep an ounce that night. When sleep hits him, it's when he hears birds chirping as it dawns outside. Something shifts in the air. Realization dawns on him in the early hours of the morning. He wakes up sleep-deprived and steps outside to find the flat empty, apart from the note on the kitchen counter.
Will be staying at Taehyung's for a few days, don't worry about me. Please don't skip meals.
"So you just ran out on him?" Taehyung asks, setting the beer can down. Jimin looks disappointed as he sets their food.
"I d-didn't, I didn't run out on him. I just got terrified. It all happened so suddenly and I was scared of what he'd answer."
"Ah, so you did run out on him," Jimin murmurs.
"Just, let's just drop it okay? I'll go back when I'm brave enough."
"Jungkook-ah, I love you and I'm glad to have you here, but you're doing exactly what he did," Taehyung advises, rubbing his palm onto Jungkook's shoulders.
"Running away doesn't automatically wipe out your problems, you should know better than that," Jimin chips in "I'm not forcing you to go right now, but please talk it out."
It's been a week since the confession and Jungkook stays put at Taehyung and Jimin's place. He knows he's being a coward, but it's only fair. A moment of anger and hurt ended up with him confessing to Namjoon. That wasn't even how he'd wanted to do, that is; if he ever wanted to. He avoids all of Namjoon's calls and texts. He might have to pluck up the courage and just get rejected, it's much better when it's ripped off like a band-aid. It's inevitable after all. But there's hope, hope in the veins of his heart, and with hope comes fear. Fear that's got him stuck in his mated friends' place.
By the end of the week, Namjoon shows up at the gallery and Jungkook feels like he's been caught. He had successfully managed to steer clear of Namjoon, but something at the corners of Taehyung's mouth had him concluding that he was set up.
"Let's talk, Hyung?" Namjoon says with a lingering hesitance in his stance. Jungkook nods, picking up his coat, signaling Taehyung that he's leaving. Taehyung mouths an 'all the best' and Jungkook purses his lips.
"Have you had dinner?" Jungkook asks and Namjoon shakes his head, looking down. They walk along the sidewalk of a McDonald's reaching a park adjacent to an intersection. Jungkook motions Namjoon and they sit on a bench facing a forsythia tree. Jungkook buys some ramen with rice wine from the nearest convenience store. The breeze turns cold, the evening weather catching up to them.
They finish their food in silence using it as a little distraction for the impending conversation. "I'm sorry, Hyung," Namjoon starts "Yoongi hyung," he steadies his breath "Yoongi hyung and I, we're just friends. I'm sorry I avoided you. I just– "
"It's okay," Jungkook slides closer to Namjoon. "I must've seemed like such a jerk, getting jealous. Ugh. I'm sorry Namjoon-ah, you shouldn't explain yourself to me." He says groaning into his hand. "Did you– did you mean what you said?" Namjoon asks, turning to face Jungkook fully.
Jungkook heaves a sigh and slides his palms into his pockets. "I love you, Namjoon," He says looking down as the breeze forces a few scattered flowers to graze across the ground. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember, probably before I even knew what it meant to love." so long that it feels like it's a part of me, goes unsaid.
"Hyung, actual–" Namjoon starts but is cut off. "It doesn't matter though," Jungkook says, now turning to face Namjoon. "You're not obligated to return my feelings Joon-ah." He places his right palm onto Namjoon's cheek, holding on to him like he might vanish any minute. "My feelings are my concern. I'll deal with it myself okay?" Namjoon blinks, languid, the nervousness around them diluting with every passing minute.
"Please come home." is all Namjoon says and Jungkook smiles.
They reach the apartment in comfortable silence, With the radio playing an old rock and roll song. Retreating into their rooms like they just went through a delirious battle which in hindsight truly felt like one. Jungkook tosses and turns in his bed trying to sleep, it was hard when his mind had thousands of thoughts swimming around like sharks on hunt. He'd be doomed if he paid attention to any of it. At least you tried, told him what you felt.
Around 2:50 am, he hears a faint knock on his door. He scrambles off his bed to get to the door. "What's wrong?" He asks with a little surprise in his eyes as he faces a nervous-looking Namjoon outside the door. He looks timid, he's biting into his bottom lip like he's trying to find the right words.
"I don't want to deny myself the chance anymore." There's a glint of nervousness in the way he tells it.
"What?" Jungkook asks, confused.
Namjoon reaches forward placing a soft kiss onto Jungkook's lips, so tender and incredulous. Jungkook is startled for a moment, eyes widening at the touch. Namjoon bites on his lower lip, searching for some reaction in Jungkook's face. He looks worried like he's tried to hold on to something fragile. Jungkook pulls Namjoon by his hands, caging him by the door looking into Namjoon's eyes, searching for any signs of regret or hesitance. The air around them feels heavy and tense. "Kiss me." Namjoon whispers, voice thin and shaky and that's all it takes for Jungkook.
Jungkook hovers his lips across Namjoon's left dimple. Soft and careful. Namjoon flutters his eyes shut. He drags his lips across his eyelids, his forehead, his nose… until he's slightly ghosting his lips with his breath but he skips and presses his lips onto Namjoon's chin. There's a whine bubbling up Namjoon's throat, Jungkook smiles as he takes in Namjoon's face, so shy and tender, pink at the ridges.
Warm and soft, their lips meet. Tingles of sweet sensation shoot across Jungkook's neck. The kisses are incessant at first, taking time to explore each curve of Namjoon's lips. The frizz of craving, bubbling up in Jungkook's throat. He wants, wants so bad. The kisses turn urgent slowly. Opening up Namjoon's lips through his tongue.
Jungkook seats him across his lap. He kisses him gently on the corner of his lips. Namjoon's scent sweetens. He noses along his jaw, peppering little kisses and drowning himself in his scent. Threading each kiss like a pearl on his neck. In a hushed voice, he asks "Can I?"
"Hmpf." Namjoon squirms, eyes closing shut.
Jungkook noses along the scent gland, nipping at it tentatively. He goes for a tiny lick, before opening up and sucking on the gland with vigor. Nibbling on it like he found a mine.
"Hyung," Namjoon gasps. Jungkook smashes his lips onto Namjoon's, the kiss turning messy, their teeth clanking. Jungkook adjusts himself by placing Namjoon beneath him. "God, you smell so good." Jungkook's breath tickles Namjoon as he squirms baring his neck. Jungkook's kisses bruise his lips a shade of red and blue.
As they lay in bed facing each other, the little streaks of early dawn entered the room. Namjoon's lips are swollen red, eyes glazed, a pretty indication of Jungkook's touches.
"I'm sorry, I was a coward. I should've just spoken to you. I-I don't wanna lose you." Namjoon's lips quiver, breathing heavy.
"What makes you think you'll lose me?"
"You're the most important person in my life. What if we end up without even a friendship to go back to?"
"Namjoon-ah– " Jungkook starts.
"No– Wait, let me finish. I like you, I was so scared that this was all just casual to you that I didn't take a minute to think about your feelings. I-I don't even feel like I deserve you to love me. You've loved me for so long hyung, all I did was hurt you. I don't wanna lose you." Namjoon hiccups, tears streaming across his face. "I like you, I like you so much. If I were to lose you for this I could never forgive myself."
"Joon-ah?" Jungkook places his palm on Namjoon's cheeks, it's wet from the tears. "You've never hurt me okay? You didn't even know I liked you, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself." He moves forward laying a small kiss at the corner of Namjoon's lips.
"Let's try this, yeah?" He says, thumbing over his cheeks, and then breathes in slow and heavy. "Let me have you?" he whispers. Letting it spill.
Namjoon nods, his sobs dying down, staring into Jungkook's eyes. Jungkook wipes off the tears with the pads of his fingers, Namjoon looks at him through his eyelashes, a pretty pink on his cheek. He always looked so pretty, pretty even crying.
Jungkook pulls him flush against his chest and they fall asleep to the sounds of the breeze outside.
They end up making out lazily on the couch, the next day, the day after, the entire weekend. Jungkook still feels like he's stuck in a dream that'll be gone once he wakes up. The need to hold Namjoon, have him, and see him only grows day by day. Now that he's allowed himself to truly want Namjoon, there seems to be no way to be satiated. It's awkward initially, but they eventually work their way towards this new phase of their relationship. Namjoon works from home on some days, deadlines still lurking at the back of his mind and Jungkook manages to steal a few kisses on those days. The kisses taste like coffee, and Jungkook thinks he's addicted.
While Jungkook works on the paintings with Taehyung, Namjoon visits the gallery sometimes delivering Banana walnut cakes for both of them. Jimin teases them for the first few days, Namjoon whining into Jungkook's neck as Jungkook chuckles holding on to him. Over the days Jimin and Namjoon end up forming an unlikely friendship, oftentimes going out by themselves when Taehyung and Jungkook seem stuck at the gallery.
"Get some cheese on your way back," Jungkook asks, one Tuesday morning, eyes still focussed on his laptop.
"Okay hyung," Namjoon replies, fiddling around his shirt buttons looking at the clock distractedly. Jungkook notices, he walks over to fix it up. Namjoon smiles, a dopey grin when Jungkook hands him his lunch.
"Have a great day, baby," Jungkook says, voice silvery.
Namjoon pokes his head back in, eyebrows raised. Jungkook lifts his eyebrows questioning him. "You called me baby." He whispers, a trail of roses blooming on his cheeks.
Realization falls over Jungkook as his eyes dart over Namjoon's reddening face. Both of them blushing furiously at the door, like pre-teens who've discovered pet names. Namjoon dips forward, placing a delicate kiss on Jungkook's lips. "I'm your baby." He grins, pleased and bright before walking off to work.
Jungkook walks back, butterflies fluttering around his stomach. His cheeks hurt from smiling, recalling the scene again and again. Namjoon really was his, his baby.
Along with the rush of happiness came the feelings that were ignored for years. Those notions that seemed so forbidden, so unreachable that Jungkook had it locked up.
Now the lock's gone, gone for good. He lets it all out for Namjoon, baring his heart without any restraints. For him to keep or break. But there's a freedom that comes with being vulnerable, a certainty in knowing it's Namjoon's after all. Knowing he's Namjoon's after all.
Kisses turn erratic, touches lingering a beat too long. Whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears under the blanket. There's an underlying tension, both of them too careful with their touches when things get heated. There's a nervous hesitance to cross a boundary that doesn't even exist. It'll crumble down, slow and steady, and then all at once.
It's been more than a month since the talk. There's no label yet, but Jungkook's happy. Too happy to care about that. All that matters is that he gets to make Namjoon happy, happy in a way he'd never thought he would. He wants to yell about his feelings to Namjoon, jostle his shoulders and tell him how much he loves him, years of feelings rushing into the front of his brain, screaming a thousand things. He settles for taking it slow, one day at a time. He doesn't want to come off too intense for Namjoon, scare him off. The pace they have seems natural, flowing soft, and smooth.
It had been weeks since Namjoon slept in.
The aroma of Kimchi Pancakes and fried eggs wake him up on a Thursday. He's just got done with the book, a huge relief rests on his shoulders. He stumbles out of his bedroom, wobbling as he walks and sits on top of the kitchen island.
"Oh, you're up," Jungkook says, sliding a plate across.
"Why aren't you at the gallery?" Namjoon asks, rubbing off the reminiscent sleep in his eyes.
"I took an off, knew you'd be at home."
"Get ready, I'm taking you out on a date."
"I've got tickets to the aquarium, we could do dinner in the evening."
"Okay" Namjoon stuffs his face with food to keep himself from looking at Jungkook.
"Be out in an hour?"
"Namjoon-ah" Jungkook drags on, forcing Namjoon to look at him. "You're red all over."
"It's the heat." Namjoon replies, fanning himself.
Jungkook chuckles, "Do I make you shy?"
"What, no. I think the air con isn't working."
Jungkook steps closer, piecing away the pancake from Namjoon's mouth smirking, "Get used to it then, it's gonna get hotter."
"HYUNG!" Namjoon shouts, glancing at him as he struts away into his room.
"I don't know what to wear, hyung. I need your help. Can you please stop laughing?" Jungkook can hear Jimin's cackle through the phone.
"Jungkook-ah, he's seen you in your PJs, just wear what makes you comfortable."
"Thanks for the terrible advice, remind me not to call you next time."
"Okay, okay okay. I'm sorry, wear that mustard turtleneck, Namjoon couldn't stop staring at you when you wore that last Monday. He might even end up tearing it off you."
Jungkook groans covering his face. "Hyung.."
"I'm just saying" Jimin sing-songs on the other end.
Namjoon's expression seeing Jungkook had got him texting a thank you to Jimin.
The aquarium is almost empty besides a few kids here and there, considering it's a weekday. Namjoon pulls out trivia every time they come across a peculiar fish. Jungkook laughs, an endeared one.
Dinner's pleasant, the restaurant's owner is a friend and they head over to their table after making pleasantries. They get BBQ with a ramen bowl and chat away the entire time.
"Sometimes It feels surreal, knowing that I kinda grew up with you," Namjoon says with a fond look on his face. "Remember when we snuck out on seollal to get drunk for the first time?"
"Please don't remind me of that, the worst hangover ever." Jungkook groans, rolling out the r in ever. "I can taste the splitting headache through the vodka."
Namjoon laughs, covering his smile with his palm.
"I'm glad to have grown up with you," Namjoon says, placing his hand on Jungkook's, over the table.
"Me too," Jungkook replies, Namjoon's eyes crinkle, forming a pretty contented smile.
Giggling their way they reach home hand in hand. There's a pleased look on Jungkook's face as they step into their hallway.
"I had a great time." Namjoon smiles.
"I'm glad." Jungkook fidgets on the spot, both of them too shy to choose their next words.
"Good night then," Jungkook says, but his eyes are expectant and intense.
"Good night, hyung." Namjoon plays with his coat reluctant to leave, skittish and shy. There's tension in the air seemingly making them both nervous. It'll break down, it has to.
The tension breaks as Jungkook walks over to Namjoon's room around midnight, knocking on his door hesitantly. Namjoon's surprised when he opens the door.
"C-Can I, uhm. Can I sleep here...with you?" Jungkook asks, his voice almost a whisper. Namjoon's eyes widen and that almost causes Jungkook to backtrack.
"Y-yeah of course, come in."
They settle on their backs looking at the ceiling. Namjoon taps his fingers onto the mattress. The room isn't entirely dark, the light from the streetlights enters through the window leaving an orangish blue hue on the wall.
"Thanks for letting me sleep here." Jungkook whispers.
"Of course hyung," Namjoon says, swallowing thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing.
A minute feels like eons and Jungkook's had enough. He whips around startling Namjoon who rolls over curiously, crashing their lips in a heated kiss. Jungkook's hand moves up to hold Namjoon by his waist. He deepens the kiss, licking up Namjoon's mouth with a craving. He could taste the chocolate truffle they had for dessert at the restaurant.
Jungkook breaks the kiss just for a second "Look at me, baby."
Namjoon squirms, tucking his face into Jungkook's neck shyly. It's all-new, his heart leaps whenever Namjoon responds to his touches.
"Please? Want to see you." Jungkook whispers. Namjoon peeks out, eyes fluttering open, facing Jungkook.
Jungkook sighs kissing Namjoon's forehead, a feather touch of his lips along the skin, then he proceeds to kiss his eyes, nose, cheeks as his jaw caresses Namjoon's cheek with every kiss. Namjoon sighs, content with every little peck. Jungkook bites into Namjoon's lower lip opening him up as Namjoon gasps into the sensation. He licks into the bite trying to appease the pain.
"Want you." Jungkook slurs against Namjoon's lips.
"Have me, P-Please–" Namjoon replies, balling his fists into his PJs.
Jungkook mouths along Namjoon's jaw, nipping at the skin closer to his scent gland. Bruising the skin as he sucks on it. Namjoon throws his head back, breathing uneven and ragged. Jungkook plays with the buttons of Namjoon's shirt, tentatively releasing it one by one as he noses along his neck drinking up the scent. He places Namjoon under him as both their shirts come off.
"You're so beautiful, fuck," Jungkook whispers before he dives in kissing Namjoon's collarbone and chest. Jungkook's eyes get dark, with years of pent-up desire coming at full force. He yanks off Namjoon's pants before Namjoon could realize leaving him only in his boxers.
"Hyung– unghh , oh god." Namjoon yelps, he's dripping with slick already. Jungkook eyes his nipples, as the sternum stands defined, pretty, so pretty, everything about Namjoon is pretty. Jungkook takes his left nipple into his mouth, sucking it lightly as his fingers curl up at the other bud pinching it, his nub growing stiff with every touch.
"You're so pretty." He continues as his tongue circles around the bud causing Namjoon to seize up, bucking his hips. Jungkook leaves a trail of kisses across his chest as he reaches the other nipple.
"W-want to– to see you," Namjoon says, boring his eyes onto Jungkook's chest. Jungkook kicks off his pants hastily trying to jump onto Namjoon, getting a chuckle out of him.
Jungkook goes on his elbows kissing and feeling the warmth of Namjoon's skin on his lips, his vanilla bean moisturizer tasting heavenly on his tongue. He kisses Namjoon's stomach, causing tingles of anticipation to shoot across his own. His pointer finger stops at Namjoon's waistband, "Can I?" He seeks Namjoon, Namjoon's face beautiful as ever even in the darkness of the room, the orange hue leaving a pretty tinge on his face.
"C-Can I? More?" Jungkook holds onto Namjoon's waist as he mouths along his hips. The fog of their desire resting thick over their shoulders.
"Yes," he rasps, voice almost lost. "P-Please," he stutters out. Namjoon's slick scent engulfs him as he pulls down his underwear. He palms Namjoon's erect dick, thumbing the tip of his cockhead. Namjoon moans and Jungkook thinks it's the prettiest sound to ever come out of his mouth. He licks onto the slit tasting the precum before taking him whole.
"Feels so good, f-fuck" Namjoon moans, he looks so gone, his face covered in sweat, lips parted and pupils blown wide. Jungkook sucks the tip, swirling his tongue around the slit, Namjoon's moans only growing louder. He spreads Namjoon's thighs wider, placing them on his shoulders as his fingers make their way towards Namjoon's hole, he feels the slick gushing out. He scoops a bit of it peeking at Namjoon before he licks the slick off his fingers.
"Fuck–" Namjoon moans. Jungkook mouths wet down his length, panting as the musky scent of his slick fills the air around them. His eyes grew darker, as he bobbed his head creating a rhythm, feeling Namjoon's cock in his throat.
He pulls out, lifting Namjoon upwards to mouth into his hole. Namjoon gasps, hands tugging into Jungkook's hair as he feels Jungkook's tongue over his pucker. Jungkook devours him, no part of his ass left untouched. He feasts on him like having a peach on a summer morning.
"You taste so good," he scoops the slick onto his tongue. He pulls Namjoon closer and sucks the remaining slick off his balls, moaning and grunting as a fresh wave of slick hits his tongue. He gets back to Namjoon's hard cock, sucking him off with so much fervor. Tongue exploring every patch of skin on his cock.
Namjoon pants, his fingers carding through Jungkook's hair. It's embarrassing how wet he is, how ready he feels for Jungkook. Jungkook sucks onto Namjoon's inner thigh, leaving bluish-violet marks. Namjoon groans as he observes Jungkook's slick-coated fingers, part of it smeared across his mouth and jaw.
"Stop– " Namjoon says, his breath ragged. Jungkook looks up, curious and surprised. "F-Fuck me," Namjoon stutters out "Fuck me, Alpha" he completes staring into Jungkook's eyes. Jungkook smiles inching off the bed to position them. He pulls Namjoon towards the edge of the bed, pushing his thighs wider, as he aligns his cock at Namjoon's rim.
"Ready?" Jungkook asks and Namjoon whimpers. Jungkook holds on to Namjoon's ankles as he enters him. "Fuck" Jungkook grunts. They both groan, deep and long as Jungkook's cock slides in completely. Namjoon feels so warm, his muscles contracting perfectly around his cock. Engulfing him Tight and wet. "Tight, ugh– fuck" he moans. Namjoon bites onto his lower lip face contorted into something that forms a symphony between pain and pleasure.
Jungkook thrusts into him properly, and Namjoon's eyes fly open wide and round "oh." he gasps, his breathing rough and erratic "oh god– ". Jungkook thrusts into him harder, his balls slapping onto Namjoon. "Alpha– " Namjoon moans but his voice comes out broken. There are tears pooling at the corner of Namjoon's eyes. He looks so blissful beneath Jungkook.
"Ngh Alpha, fuck– harder" he croaks. Jungkook holds on to Namjoon's right ankle as he thrusts into him forming a rhythm, smaller movements turning bigger. Namjoon's expression morphs beautifully with every thrust, tears streaming down his face, lips swollen and sweat drizzling at the corners of his hairline. Namjoon looks so fucked out. So pretty. So blissful.
Jungkook's brain catches up, I'm fucking Namjoon, I'm inside him. He pulls back only to thrust again, moving hips faster.
It felt so good to fuck Namjoon, all his fantasies playing out a slideshow in his head. Namjoon arches his spine as his fingers dig into the mattress, his toe-curling with every touch of Jungkook's cockhead over his prostate. Jungkook lets out grunts and moans as he feels his climax building up.
He quickly pulls out, only to yank Namjoon off sideways and enter him again from behind. He spoons Namjoon, holding onto his hips as he picks up pace. Namjoon gasps, airy sounds spilling out of his mouth. He half whimpers, balling his fists into the pillow. "Good?" Jungkook asks, thrusting into him and pulling back harsher. "Gotta satisfy my omega– ugh fuck." He grunts out, his breath tickling the skin on Namjoon's shoulder spreading Goosebumps like stars. Jungkook fucks him harder, never leaving Namjoon's prostate. Namjoon hums, broken and fucked out.
Jungkook grips Namjoon’s ass with slick covered hands and pounds into him, harder needier grunting when he feels Namjoon come with a loud moan as his cum splatters onto their chests. "Mine, fuc— only mine" Jungkook growls and pumps inside, finally spilling into him, a warm sensation as his cock flares into a knot locking them together.
They were both panting, muffled breaths echoing the room. "Love you, I love you" he whispers out as he rains soothing kisses on Namjoon's neck and shoulder, nipping at the gland. He circles his hand around Namjoon's waist holding him closer. Namjoon hums, letting out a sweet contented sigh.
Jungkook holds onto him from behind, nuzzling into his shoulders as their breaths steady into soft snores.
Morning came with Namjoon's back pressed closely into Jungkook's chest. The knot had gone down, he pulled out his cock gently. Jungkook's room reeked of sex. Sheets smelling like Baby's breath all over. Namjoon blinked drowsily. "Good morning baby," Jungkook said, engulfing Namjoon in a back hug. "Mornin'," Namjoon replied, smiling softly.
"Was I– was I okay?" Was I rough? Did I hurt you? Jungkook's words are careful. Worry and anticipation swimming underneath the sentence.
"'s okay Alpha, it was good," Namjoon mumbles, a lazy smile spreading across his face as he tugs Jungkook forward, kissing his shoulders. Jungkook grins, bright and broad before he summons the energy to lift Namjoon's face to kiss him on his lips. Slow and mellow.
"I'll clean us up and then you can take a shower alright?" Jungkook asked, kissing Namjoon's earlobe.
"Can't take a shower, too tired," Namjoon says, trying to drift back into sleep. Jungkook chuckled, pulling him flush against him, "I'll help you, c'mon, you need to eat breakfast." Namjoon only grunts as Jungkook picks him up.
Jungkook carries him into the shower, placing him on the tiles letting the mildly warm water run over both their bodies. Namjoon hugs him trying to balance himself under the water. With every drop of water gliding off of Namjoon's body, Jungkook only grows harder. Craving every patch of Namjoon's naked skin. To have and feel.
He ends up fucking Namjoon again, one leg up the tap after Namjoon took him into his mouth. After which they manage to clean themselves and get dressed.
Six months are gone with the wind, and Namjoon is finally called in for his Performance review a week later. His dad's words relay across his brain, pumping in more nervous thoughts. He's got jitters, he tries to hold on to Jungkook's hands tighter the night before. Jungkook catches on and hugs him, flush and cozy, constantly assuring him that he'll get it.
"Hyung, kiss me," Namjoon asks before they step out the door that morning. Although he wants to indulge, Jungkook raises a brow. "Good luck kiss," Namjoon continues, jutting his lips out, clearly pouting. Jungkook smiles and kisses him chastely as Namjoon grins against his lips, dimples peeking out.
After three whole nerve-racking hours, Namjoon calls him and almost squeals into the speakers. He's informed that he's passed the trial period earning a permanent editor post in the company. Jungkook picks him up that evening, hugging him, smiling wide as he congratulates Namjoon. Namjoon smiles, wide-toothed and delighted.
"Are you happy?" Jungkook asks, kissing the tip of Namjoon's nose.
"I'm so happy," Namjoon replies, his eyes turning into pretty crescents. A little crinkle at the corners.
As they walk, Jungkook's fingers intertwined with Namjoon's, he realizes why Seoul didn't feel like home all these years. His home was a person, after all, his person.