The melting of ice cream drips down his hands and beomgyu feels himself break out of the motionless gaze, looking back at the cash counter to meet the eyes of the boy working, pity. If beomgyu hates something the most in this world, it is pity. He hates it when people look at him with pity.
It brings him back to a memory that led him to meet him, choi yeonjun.
“here, looks like you need it”
Beomgyu looks up from his lap to see a hand extending a handkerchief, his eyes move up to meet the eyes of the person extending the handkerchief, choi yeonjun.
Beomgyu scoffs, “if you’re here to spit the same bullshit, go aw-"
H e cuts him off “I’m not.”
“then why are you here”
“saw you crying in the chemistry class, felt like you needed someone” with that HE drops down to sit beside him.
"what? Can’t stop staring at my handsome face?” the older boy asks with a cheeky smile
“I’m not staring” beomgyu scoffs out.
“look, I know how it feels to lose someone.. if you need someone, you can talk to me-”
“i don’t even know you”
Yeonjun gives him a smile, “that’s the best part, you don’t know me, just say what’s on your mind, after all, we don’t know each other”
What beomgyu didn’t know was that he met someone who he could never not know that day, in that empty classroom, on 4th march, Monday afternoon, at 2 pm.
Beomgyu breaks out of the thought when he feels the melted ice cream drip down from his hands again bringing him back to present. he quickly throws it away with a pain in the back of his heart and cleans his hands.
He puts his phone back in his pocket for the hundredth time. He refuses to believe what he thinks is happening. “He’s just running late. That’s it, there must be traffic or something, that explains why he’s not here yet” beomgyu tells himself that, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that’s not it.
“okay, let’s wait 5 more minutes, he will come if I just wait 5 minutes more”
They missed the movie entry but that does not seem to be the main thing that beomgyu cares about. “where is he” beomgyu can’t seem to stop worrying and maybe also getting scared. It’s not every day you see getting stood up by your boyfriend.
“Maybe he’s doing something, something definitely must have come up for him to not even reply to my texts”
Beomgyu sits down at the pavement, flowers abandoned by his side, movie tickets crumbled. Suddenly he can’t help but think back to the day when he asked him out to date for the first time.
Beomgyu was nervous to say the least, it’s not easy asking your crush out to a date okay? It needs a lot of courage.
He had decided to do something simple yet special. As he sees the time, he gets ready to finally do it. He picks up the tulip flower bouquet, yeonjun’s favourite flowers and tells himself he can do it “I got this, I need to do this.”
“beomgyu-ah! What are you doing here? Oh, are those tulips? Are they for me? Oh my god” yeonjun keeps rambling while, the younger of two can’t stop staring at the older boy in front of his eyes.
“-yah! Beomgyu-ah, are you even listening to me?, are these for me?”
Beomgyu breaks out of his daze and tries to speak all that he had been practicing all day long “yes junie, they’re for you, I uh.. needed to tell you something..” the older nods, urging him to continue his sentence.
Beomgyu suddenly felt tongue-tied, gasping for air to get the courage when he feels a pair of warm hands on his cheeks, “gyu, what’s up? You know you can say anything to me right? What is it that you want to say to me?”
“i-i…I uh.. I like you choi yeonjun” after spitting it out beomgyu suddenly closes his eyes, afraid for what’s about to come.
When nothing comes for a long time, he opens his eyes, afraid only to see a shocking sight.
“yeonjun, why are you crying?” he questions with concern
“you dummy, I wanted to confess to you first, you beat me to it” and so the tables turn, beomgyu’s eyes fill up with tears. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.
Yeonjun, choi yeonjun, his yj, he likes him back!!! Beomgyu couldn’t believe it. He looked up to yeonjun only to feel a pair of lips suddenly on his own.
A sound coming from a tree pass by breaks beomgyu out of his memory. He sees two couples kissing, he remembers his first kiss, a bittersweet smile coming up on his face. He’s about to look away to give the couple privacy when something catches his eyes, that black and white checked sweater.
It can’t be.. it can’t be him. Many people have the same clothing, it is not his yeonjun. Beomgyu tries to make himself believe that but like they all say, curiosity gets the best of everyone. He gets up and walks slowly to not make any sound, starts approaching the kissing couple.
Scared and nervous, that’s what he feels as he walks up to them. And like the time stops, his heart drops when he catches the electric blue hair. Breathe, just breathe choi beomgyu.
They do say the curiosity killed the cat for a reason.
His phone drops from his grip when he looks at the man and just like his phone, his legs give out and he falls down like his heart did.
The sound making the busy couple look back, beomgyu’s lifeless eyes meet the panicked ones of the boy with blue hair. He pulls the black-haired boy aside, whispering something in his ears and slowly comes near the silver haired boy.
“why” beomgyu silently asks looking up from the floor, emotionless eyes.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry gyu- “
“don’t call me that” he looks up with empty eyes
“just.. don’t. you lost the privilege the day you kissed him” looking up at the black-haired man he saw his boyf-.. no, yeonjun kiss.
“beomgyu, i-“ beomgyu cuts him off again “what went wrong? Where did I go wrong… for.. for you to turn to someone else..” his breathing starts getting heavier and his chest pains.
“beomgyu, hey, breathe “yeonjun starts rubbing circles on beomgyu’s back but he stands up immediately, stumbling a little because of the sudden move. Yeonjun’s hands come forward to hold him but he stops him from touching him “NO”
“I kept thinking maybe yo-you’re busy, maybe it’s the tra-traffic. Surely my boyfriend will not stand me up. I kept waiting. One hour turned to two, and two turned to three but no sign of you. People came and people went but you never did… you.. you never did....”
Beomgyu takes a deep breathe, trying to get himself to calm down to be able to form a sentence, to let out all he feels.
“but how could you.. how could you come when you were busy kissing him” pointing at the black-haired guy who seem to be standing in the corner, without any remorse.
“how long have it been going on for” beomgyu asks after a second partially scared for the response.
“6 months” yeonjun answers and finally beomgyu lets his tear that had been begging to be out, drop. Yeonjun continues “ I didn’t know how to tell you.. I didn’t know how to say I fell.. I fell out of love.. that I found someone who makes my heart beat like crazy, I didn’t know how to tel-“
“anything would have been better than you cheating on me” that shuts yeonjun up. “was it so hard for you tell.. to tell me, your boyfriend of 3 years that your love was gone.. was it so hard for you to say, hey beomgyu, I’m sorry but this won’t work anymore, was it so hard for your so-called righteous ass to come up at me and say that you no longer feel the same warmth that, even now, i still feel towards you?” with that beomgyu breaks down, gasping for air that doesn’t seem to come up to his lungs, he tries to breathe but fails. The pain too much for him to handle, leaving yeonjun speechless.
After a while when beomgyu has calmed down enough to talk again “they do mean it when they say people who matter the most, hurt the most” with that beomgyu gets up, “I hope you know, I gave you my all, I gave you my everything, I gave you the world for you to take. But I guess no matter what I did, it was never enough for you. It was never enough for you because in the end, you turned to someone else”
“beomgyu, just hear me out-“
“what’s there to hear out yeonjun? You didn’t have anything to say to me when the time was right” beomgyu takes out the necklace with a ring that yeonjun gave it to him on their first anniversary and throws at yeonjun, making it fall down.
“not that it ever mattered to you, but we’re over”
Beomgyu looks at the man who was kissing his boyf- ex boyfriend. “I hope you never have to see your boyfriend cheat on you with some other person on their anniversary” the man gets shocked for a second because he probably did not expect to be talked to. Beomgyu waits for a beat and says something which makes the man and yeonjun both shocked.
“but then they do say, karma is real.”
With that beomgyu turns and never looks back again. It would be a lie if he said he would be okay because nothing could make him feel better; not even the last thing he said before walking away. All beomgyu could think was, what went wrong.
00:00 am 4th March.