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Won't let go

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Won’t let go…


 

 

The door to 4A opened with a thump against the wall, if the lights hadn’t been on and Sheldon hadn’t happened to be at the kitchen to fetch a glass of milk to help him sleep things might had turned chaotic. He was startled of course, but once he noticed who had opened the door in such a noisy way he relaxed a bit more, turning back his attention to the milk he was pouring in the glass, it was Sunday, but he hated not being able to sleep his scheduled hours.

 

You got in so late

Is Sunday Morning

 

“May I ask why at such ungodly hour do you feel the need to come into my apartment like that Penny? I would have thought that after all these years you will have the decency to knock.” He said placing the milk container inside the fridge again and turning around to put the recently filled glass in the microwave to heat it.

 

For a moment only silence was the answer to his question, until he heard her sniff behind him.

 

“Penny, you are crying. What happened?”

 

The blonde in front of him wiped her nose with some used tissue she was still holding in her hand, her reddened eyes and cheeks told him that she had been probably crying for a while.

 

“I-I… I’m leaving Sheldon. There’s really no reason for me to stay here any longer, I suck at acting, and I hate my job and have managed nothing since I came here… I know that you guys are not going to take this well, but I need to do this, you lot are probably better of without me.”

 

Say that you were leaving

Letting go of us

 

Sheldon had always had trouble to understand the real meaning behind Penny’s words, he wished this was one of those times, but the way her face grimaced when a new wave of tears hit her told her that this was actually that simple.

 

“Penny…” he sighed trying to look for something that could convince her, there were some facts he could use, but she was probably expecting something sentimental, something to attach her feelings to and he wasn’t good at it. “You do have managed many things here, you’ve grown up as a responsible person, and I know it’s been hard, but I’ve seen you learn from your mistakes. And you know very well that you can count on us, if you want help you just have to ask, I can read lines with you, and I’m sure Leonard is not going to be the only one offering financial support if you want to look for another job, are we doing something wrong Penny? Why don’t you trust us?”

 

Where did we go wrong?

 

Penny sobbed loudly for a moment after his words, he gave her time, fetching a paper towel for her to use.

 

“Sorry Moon Pie” he felt the need to tell her once again to not call him that, but right now it was probably not going to help the situation, “but I really need to go away, I can’t stay here in California, it only reminds me of my broken dreams, I have to go home, as soon as possible, probably later tonight. I’ll pack my things and… “

 

And now you say you’re leaving California

Got to head back East

And want to leave tonight

Pack your things and go

 

Sheldon frowned, looking at his friend with a concerned look, he knew that she wasn’t really that bad in terms of life success, she was just sad about all the things that had gone wrong lately, she was also scared of failing again in the future and was looking for a safe place to prevent that. Going home was just an escape.

 

But if you run away I won’t be alright

 

“I don’t know if running away will help you in any way Penny.”

 

“I’m not running away Sheldon! I know you love homius… hom… homeostasis and that… that I-I’ll be breaking yo-your… precious s-schedules… but…” she had to stop as her sobbing fit wouldn’t let her continue; now she was getting mad at him.

 

He knew it was also true, but he would hate to keep going through his schedule without her now, all those years of having to put of with her until she managed to become a constant in his life would be hard to oversee if she ever leave, but she wasn’t leaving right now, somewhere behind him the microwave beeped, but he didn’t pay attention, instead noticing how the morning was making it’s slowly arrive illuminating the sky.

 

“It’s not because of that that I want you to stay here Penny. You probably never noticed but I rely on you a lot, you’re not only the girl next door, you are the person that allows me to connect with the other in a social way. Before you I only had Leonard, Raj and Howard, and they would have eventually leaved me behind if you weren’t helping me, spending time with me. I don’t think I ever spent that much time with a girl before, you also managed more people to like me, and I’ve heard that’s difficult. Right now I know you feel like covered in shadows, but you’re a light for us Penny, why can’t I be that for you? If only until you’re not sad anymore, let me be, as they metaphorically say, ‘a shoulder to cry’”

 

Even if the sun crashes into us

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

And I can be your light

 

He had approached to her while he spoke, placing a hesitant hand over her shoulder and patting her in a comforting way, she looked up to him, her tears dripping down to her chin, and her lips still trembling when she tried to smile. It made him feel out of place, he had never been good when people cried.

 

“How about you stay here tonight, I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep anyway, and maybe we can watch one of those … programs you like on TV, or a movie, I’ll even let you choose.” She lifted her eyebrows, visibly surprised by all the things he was willing to let her do. Penny swallowed and cleared her throat, he watched as she wiped her eyes and cleaned her nose again.

 

Stay with me tonight

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

 

“You’re so sweet Sheldon” her voice still sounded squeaky but at least she had stopped crying a bit.

 

“You know how much I like to put pieces together; I finished my Lego Death Star the other day, if I can put that together I don’t see why I can’t try to hold on until you’re yourself again.” What he had said didn’t make much sense for him, but it might have had it for her because suddenly there were tears again in her eyes.

 

Pick up all the pieces

Fight to hold on

Put them back together

Do it all for love

 

Never let it go

 

 

“Why are you doing this?” She said putting a hand over her mouth, it muffled her voice a little, but she was probably only willing herself not to start crying loudly again.

 

“I’ve already told you. You’re my friend, it may not be romantic but I love you and I want you to be ok.” That made her practically jump over him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face on his dressing gown, openly crying once again, he was going to complain about her hands fisting the fabric at his back and making it a bit uncomfortable, but he thought it better, slowly placing his hands on her back and pulling her a bit closer. His gown was getting wet with her tears, but it was probably softer than the paper towel or the tissue she had been using, worried that she still hadn’t changed her mind about leaving he shifted a little, looking at her green teary eyes. “In case my message was a bit fuzzy, please don’t go Penny, things wouldn’t be the same without you. We are all very fond of you.”

 

Cause I don’t need a reason

Just to hold you

Wipe up all your tears

And look you in the eyes

 

She shook her head, leaning her forehead once again on him. “Thanks for having so much faith in me sweetie, I-I…”

 

Baby please don’t go

 

“No, please don’t start crying again, you know how hard is for me to deal with it…”

 

“Can we watch that Star Trek movie?” Sheldon pulled at her shoulders to see her face again, this time surprised on his own, Penny just smiled (wider this time) at him. “You know the one with the cutie with those amazing blue eyes, the young Mr. Spock and that good looking bad guy that also plays Sherlock”

 

The very first rays of the sun finally started to come through the window in that moment, and Sheldon smiled, feeling a bit proud of having convinced Penny to stay.

 

Even if the sun crashes into us

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

And I can be your light

Stay with me tonight

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

 

“Sure we can. And after that if you want we can watch other one.”

 

“Wouldn’t you want to go out later today?”

 

“I don’t think I can do that now. I have to make sure that you remain where I can see you so that you won’t get again the idea of leaving.”

 

“So you are not going to let me go?”

 

“Not for the foreseeable future.”

 

“Thank you Sheldon.”

 

 

 

 

“Again? Why would you cry now, Penny?!”

Won’t let go…

 

The door to 4A opened with a thump against the wall, if the lights hadn’t been on and Sheldon hadn’t happened to be at the kitchen to fetch a glass of milk to help him sleep things might had turned chaotic. He was startled of course, but once he noticed who had opened the door in such a noisy way he relaxed a bit more, turning back his attention to the milk he was pouring in the glass, it was Sunday, but he hated not being able to sleep his scheduled hours.

 

You got in so late

Is Sunday Morning

 

“May I ask why at such ungodly hour do you feel the need to come into my apartment like that Penny? I would have thought that after all these years you will have the decency to knock.” He said placing the milk container inside the fridge again and turning around to put the recently filled glass in the microwave to heat it.

 

For a moment only silence was the answer to his question, until he heard her sniff behind him.

 

“Penny, you are crying. What happened?”

 

The blonde in front of him wiped her nose with some used tissue she was still holding in her hand, her reddened eyes and cheeks told him that she had been probably crying for a while.

 

“I-I… I’m leaving Sheldon. There’s really no reason for me to stay here any longer, I suck at acting, and I hate my job and have managed nothing since I came here… I know that you guys are not going to take this well, but I need to do this, you lot are probably better of without me.”

 

Say that you were leaving

Letting go of us

 

Sheldon had always had trouble to understand the real meaning behind Penny’s words, he wished this was one of those times, but the way her face grimaced when a new wave of tears hit her told her that this was actually that simple.

 

“Penny…” he sighed trying to look for something that could convince her, there were some facts he could use, but she was probably expecting something sentimental, something to attach her feelings to and he wasn’t good at it. “You do have managed many things here, you’ve grown up as a responsible person, and I know it’s been hard, but I’ve seen you learn from your mistakes. And you know very well that you can count on us, if you want help you just have to ask, I can read lines with you, and I’m sure Leonard is not going to be the only one offering financial support if you want to look for another job, are we doing something wrong Penny? Why don’t you trust us?”

 

Where did we go wrong?

 

Penny sobbed loudly for a moment after his words, he gave her time, fetching a paper towel for her to use.

 

“Sorry Moon Pie” he felt the need to tell her once again to not call him that, but right now it was probably not going to help the situation, “but I really need to go away, I can’t stay here in California, it only reminds me of my broken dreams, I have to go home, as soon as possible, probably later tonight. I’ll pack my things and… “

 

And now you say you’re leaving California

Got to head back East

And want to leave tonight

Pack your things and go

 

Sheldon frowned, looking at his friend with a concerned look, he knew that she wasn’t really that bad in terms of life success, she was just sad about all the things that had gone wrong lately, she was also scared of failing again in the future and was looking for a safe place to prevent that. Going home was just an escape.

 

But if you run away I won’t be alright

 

“I don’t know if running away will help you in any way Penny.”

 

“I’m not running away Sheldon! I know you love homius… hom… homeostasis and that… that I-I’ll be breaking yo-your… precious s-schedules… but…” she had to stop as her sobbing fit wouldn’t let her continue; now she was getting mad at him.

 

He knew it was also true, but he would hate to keep going through his schedule without her now, all those years of having to put of with her until she managed to become a constant in his life would be hard to oversee if she ever leave, but she wasn’t leaving right now, somewhere behind him the microwave beeped, but he didn’t pay attention, instead noticing how the morning was making it’s slowly arrive illuminating the sky.

 

“It’s not because of that that I want you to stay here Penny. You probably never noticed but I rely on you a lot, you’re not only the girl next door, you are the person that allows me to connect with the other in a social way. Before you I only had Leonard, Raj and Howard, and they would have eventually leaved me behind if you weren’t helping me, spending time with me. I don’t think I ever spent that much time with a girl before, you also managed more people to like me, and I’ve heard that’s difficult. Right now I know you feel like covered in shadows, but you’re a light for us Penny, why can’t I be that for you? If only until you’re not sad anymore, let me be, as they metaphorically say, ‘a shoulder to cry’”

 

Even if the sun crashes into us

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

And I can be your light

 

He had approached to her while he spoke, placing a hesitant hand over her shoulder and patting her in a comforting way, she looked up to him, her tears dripping down to her chin, and her lips still trembling when she tried to smile. It made him feel out of place, he had never been good when people cried.

 

“How about you stay here tonight, I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep anyway, and maybe we can watch one of those … programs you like on TV, or a movie, I’ll even let you choose.” She lifted her eyebrows, visibly surprised by all the things he was willing to let her do. Penny swallowed and cleared her throat, he watched as she wiped her eyes and cleaned her nose again.

 

Stay with me tonight

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

 

“You’re so sweet Sheldon” her voice still sounded squeaky but at least she had stopped crying a bit.

 

“You know how much I like to put pieces together; I finished my Lego Death Star the other day, if I can put that together I don’t see why I can’t try to hold on until you’re yourself again.” What he had said didn’t make much sense for him, but it might have had it for her because suddenly there were tears again in her eyes.

 

Pick up all the pieces

Fight to hold on

Put them back together

Do it all for love

 

Never let it go

 

 

“Why are you doing this?” She said putting a hand over her mouth, it muffled her voice a little, but she was probably only willing herself not to start crying loudly again.

 

“I’ve already told you. You’re my friend, it may not be romantic but I love you and I want you to be ok.” That made her practically jump over him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face on his dressing gown, openly crying once again, he was going to complain about her hands fisting the fabric at his back and making it a bit uncomfortable, but he thought it better, slowly placing his hands on her back and pulling her a bit closer. His gown was getting wet with her tears, but it was probably softer than the paper towel or the tissue she had been using, worried that she still hadn’t changed her mind about leaving he shifted a little, looking at her green teary eyes. “In case my message was a bit fuzzy, please don’t go Penny, things wouldn’t be the same without you. We are all very fond of you.”

 

Cause I don’t need a reason

Just to hold you

Wipe up all your tears

And look you in the eyes

 

She shook her head, leaning her forehead once again on him. “Thanks for having so much faith in me sweetie, I-I…”

 

Baby please don’t go

 

“No, please don’t start crying again, you know how hard is for me to deal with it…”

 

“Can we watch that Star Trek movie?” Sheldon pulled at her shoulders to see her face again, this time surprised on his own, Penny just smiled (wider this time) at him. “You know the one with the cutie with those amazing blue eyes, the young Mr. Spock and that good looking bad guy that also plays Sherlock”

 

The very first rays of the sun finally started to come through the window in that moment, and Sheldon smiled, feeling a bit proud of having convinced Penny to stay.

 

Even if the sun crashes into us

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

And I can be your light

Stay with me tonight

I won’t let go

I won’t let go

 

“Sure we can. And after that if you want we can watch other one.”

 

“Wouldn’t you want to go out later today?”

 

“I don’t think I can do that now. I have to make sure that you remain where I can see you so that you won’t get again the idea of leaving.”

 

“So you are not going to let me go?”

 

“Not for the foreseeable future.”

 

“Thank you Sheldon.”

 

 

 

 

“Again? Why would you cry now, Penny?!”