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Not Today

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It was supposed to be a happy occasion. 


There was supposed to be a great feast.


They were supposed to be happy.


But, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t keep it that way.


He failed.


Luo Binghe was by his side this entire time, but his sense dulled. The Master of Qing Jing Peak sat silently with his eyes as good as dead and his expression paled like a fierce corpse. His tears were not stopping and his heart shattered after a few words were said by the physician.


“Consort Shen… We can’t save him.”


He heard his dear husband screamed at the entire medical team inside his demon palace out of the room before he kills every one of them for failing their one job.


One job…


To deliver the child alive.


To keep the child alive.


The child.


Their child.


Shen Qingqiu suddenly lost all control and wept his heart out. He wanted to die. He placed his hands around his beating heart and gripped it so he could tear it out. He can’t live any longer. He simply. Can’t.


“Shizun!” Luo Binghe, with tears in his eyes, tried to peel his husband’s hands away before he could hurt himself, “Husband, husband, please-!”


Shen Qingqiu screamed in agony and pushed Binghe away, “I want to die! I can’t- Binghe, I can’t-!”


Luo Binghe’s eyes  and face fallen as he kept his husband’s hands away from his heart, “Shizun-”


“Give me my child!” Shen Qingqiu grabbed the hem of the demon lord’s robe, “Binghe, please- My… My child...”


Luo Binghe can’t take it seeing Shen Qingqiu’s face being so broken beyond repair, it looks like Shen Qingqiu’s about to self-destruct again. But, he can’t…


He can’t possibly make Shizun see their child’s dead body…


It would destroy him.


Shizun won’t come back to him.




Shizun would leave him again.


After losing their child.


He would lose his husband.


So, instead of replying or giving orders to bring their son’s dead body, Luo Binghe pulled Shen Qingqiu into his arms and planted many kisses into his husband’s face and let the dream spell work.


After Shen Qingqiu fell into a deep sleep without dreams, even sleeping his face haunted the half-demon to wits-end, Luo Binghe placed his husband out of the royal infirmary into their private quarters. He placed a powerful spell into the room so that no one can enter the room nor come out.


He went back to the healing quarters to retrieve their son…


The entire staff palace, bowed their heads down to the ground as the emperor walked into the decorated room. The child…


Their child was in a crib.


The crib he made especially for their expecting baby.



 Luo Binghe’s eyes shimmers in the near-dark, “Ah, Shizun!” He stood up from the floor as he welcomed his heavily pregnant husband, he took the master’s hand as he led him inside the room. Shen Qingqiu held his round belly with a soft smile. 


Shen Qingqiu looked at his work, “You’re making a crib already?”


“Well, the baby needs a place to sleep on his own, Shizun.” He chuckled, placing his larger hand above his Shizun’s around the bloating stomach.


“This master was thinking that he should sleep with us until he’s a couple of months old.” Shizun commented, looking concern, “Leaving him sleeping alone might be a little-”


Luo Binghe sighed fondly, he really loved it when his husband was openly worried about their child, “It’s just a preparation. He will sleep with us until he’s old enough, but this husband is just-” He blushed lightly, “Ah, Shizun, I just couldn’t wait!”


Shen Qingqiu gave a soft beam, “Wait for what?”


Luo Binghe put his hands around his husband and twirled him around without crushing the baby too much, “We’re going to be parents, Shizun!” 


When the news arrived that Noble Consort Shen was pregnant, The half-demon Emperor rejoiced for many days and nights. He shed a lot of tears of happiness and so did the pregnant father. After so many years together, the sky has given them the opportunity to have a family of their own.


Shen Qingqiu, who was at first terrified, became enthusiastic and started to learn how to wove clothes, read children stories, and eat a lot, so that the child would be healthy even though sometimes he complains of being overweight. But, Binghe never agreed to that statement. He even expresses that Shen Qingqiu is still not eating enough.


They spent many days preparing for the child.


It was filled with hope and happiness Luo Binghe can’t remember ever having so.


It made his Shizun, his husband, the happiest person he’s ever seen.

“My lord…”


His mind stopped remembering the happy time as he stood straight and heavy beside the crib. He can’t bring himself to look inside. He doesn’t have enough strength to see his baby’s dead body.


“We suggest that my lord prepare the ceremony...”


Luo Binghe’s dark aura blasted across the room, making everybody there stagger and kneel in horror, “What ceremony?”


“The- The cremation for the Royal Prince…” The head physician stuttered, “Or at least prepare a place in the Holy Mausoleum-”


“You have enough guts.” 


Those words made the physician fly across the room and hit the wall so hard that it cracked. The entire population inside the room screamed in horror before shutting their mouths remembering that the emperor was still there.


Luo Binghe couldn’t help but express his grief and anger, as the stench of blood and death came from behind him. With his demonic power, he killed everyone in the room.


He doesn’t care if they screamed. If they begged for their lives. If they cared.


Luo Binghe knew even if he demanded them to bring their child back, they couldn’t do it. The cause of death after birth was him.


He did this.


He had to do this.

“My lord, This is a serious complication that could cause death for both of them!” 


Luo Binghe’s heart broke into a million pieces, “H-How is that possible?! H-How do I save them?!”


The head physician says, “My lord, It seems like Noble Consort Shen’s body is not strong enough to push the baby out. The baby having the blood of a heavenly demon is taking too much toll on Noble Consort Shen’s life force.”


“So, you’re saying that if the baby comes out, Shizun would die?!”


The head physician bowed with regret and nodded his head in silence.


“It would be the father’s choice on who he will save.”


Luo Binghe’s mind flagged, his knees went weak, as his face stiff in horror. How could this happen? How could he make such decisions? His child… or his husband? 


His heart sank deeper as he heard his Husband kept screaming in agony of the birthing process. He kept screaming Binghe’s name and sometimes the child’s name…


“Luo Yuan…”


It was a simple name. A very lovable one. Shen Qingqiu told him it has a special meaning. The name made Shen Qingqiu gazed at his stomach in warm longing. Luo Binghe would do anything to keep that smile plastered into his Shizun’s beautiful face. He can’t stop imagining Shizun in that smile with the babe in his slender arms. The child will be beautiful. Just like his father.


But, living without Shizun is as good as death for Luo Binghe.


So, at the end…

“Forgive me…”




Luo Binghe crashed into the floor as his hands gripped the edge of the baby crib. His tears flow down into the floor.


He couldn’t stop apologizing and will not stop apologizing until the end of time.




Shen Qingqiu was in a bliss. He was in his bamboo house in Qing Jing Peak as he held a beautiful baby with curly hair and deep green eyes. The baby was beautiful just like both of his fathers. He had the demonic sigil in his forehead, yet his smile was as wide as his half-demon father. 


Shen Qingqiu gave plenty of kisses to his baby and looked for Luo Binghe, he was supposed to be here.


“A-Yuan,” He cooed the baby in his arms, “Should we go find your A-Die?”


The baby just gave a bright laugh that made Shen Qingqiu’s heart melt with happiness. 


The pair stood up and left the bamboo house in delight.


“He will be very happy to meet you! He made this big crib for you, buyed many toys for you, and even promised to give you the best dish in the world!”


Shen Qingqiu’s tears starting to fall.


“So, stay with us, hm?”


Shen Qingqiu placed a light kiss on the boy’s forehead. Living in a place where he could hold his child, was a devastation. 


But, he doesn’t mind.


“We love you so very much.”