You can hardly wait to tell all your friends how his kisses taste sweet like wine…and how he always makes your heart skip a beat every time he walks by…and if you’re feeling down, he’ll pick you up, he’ll hold you close when you’re making love…he’s everything you’ve been dreaming of…oh baby…
“Hey kids and kittens.” Chris sat down at the table, his plate piled high from the buffet. “What’s shaking?”
“JC had a date with Oliver last night,” Lance said politely. “And he’s telling us all about it.”
Chris stood up. “Gotta go.”
Joey put a hand on his arm and yanked him down. “Get back here. Go ahead, Jayce.”
“Okay…so he gives me this box, okay, and I was like, what’s this for? And he says, just because it reminded me of you. Isn’t that sweet?” JC sighed happily. Chris groaned and shoveled in more eggs. Lance smiled at JC encouragingly and Joey rolled his eyes. Lance kicked Justin under the table.
“Isn’t it sweet, Justin?”
“Oh, yeah, right,” Justin said faintly. “You’re a lucky one, JC.”
“I am, aren’t I? Because he’s just so hot, you know, and he’s so nice…and sexy…” JC continued on but Justin quickly shut him out.
Everyone thought he was extremely homophobic, simply because he had freaked when JC had announced he was dating a man named Oliver. That was NOT why Justin had freaked. Justin had freaked because HE was in love with JC. Had been for almost two years, but he hadn’t been able to say it. And now it was too late. JC had Wonderful Amazing Sexy Oliver, and Justin had no one. And unfortunately JC took every opportunity to tell every wonderful amazing sexy thing about Oliver…in detail. If Justin had to hear how Oliver actually would HOLD JC after making love one more time, he was going to yank out JC’s hair. It wasn’t right. No man should be that good, that wonderful…but that was the only kind of man JC deserved.
I wish you’d look at me that way…your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine…telling me more than any words could say…but you don’t even know I’m alive…baby to you all I am is the invisible man…
“So, I’ll call you later, okay?” Oliver said to JC. JC nodded, biting his bottom lip.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
Oliver smiled, his dark eyes twinkling. “You know you have work to do…and you know I’ll be calling you for one of our special conversations…”
JC actually giggled as the others discreetly looked away so the lovers could say their goodbyes. Justin didn’t look away. He watched the adoring look in JC’s blue eyes as the other man briefly kissed him. He knew that look. He knew that that exact look was probably in his own eyes every time he looked at JC.
“Love you,” JC whispered, and Oliver nodded. Justin looked at the couple sharply as he realized that Oliver hadn’t said it back.
“Bye, guys,” Oliver said to the others. Joey, Lance and Chris called out their goodbyes. Justin only scowled. Oliver was escorted out of the airport waiting room by one of the bodyguards. JC sighed, then sat down next to Justin.
“Sorry you guys can’t spend more time together,” Justin said briefly.
“No, you’re not,” JC said, and Justin’s mouth fell open. “You’re sickened by us…you hate that I’m gay.”
“Trust me, Jayce, I do NOT hate that you’re gay,” Justin insisted. “But, who is this guy, really? Do we know anything about him? He could be some loser out for your money and fame. He could…”
“Shut up, Justin,” JC said, standing. “He’s not like that. He’s wonderful and you’re just jealous that I’m the one with someone to love me, and no one loves you.” JC stomped off to talk to Lance.
“You could say that again,” Justin said sadly, blinking back embarrassing tears.
You probably spend hours on the phone, talking about nothing at all…it doesn’t matter what the conversation, just as long as he called…lost in a love so real and so sincere you wipe away each other’s tears…your face lights up when he appears…
“No way, he said that?” JC barked angrily into his cellphone. His voice echoed around the elevator. Justin stood behind Joey, discreetly watching JC. “Baby, he’s an asshole. He wouldn’t know talent if it was up his ass. Come out here. No, now. I’ll make time…Oliver…I want to be there for you and I can’t if you’re there and I’m here. Get your sexy ass on a plane.” JC snapped the cellphone shut. “Oliver’s coming out for a visit,” he said simply.
“So we gathered,” Joey said. “Jayce…you’re getting awful serious about him. You sure about this?”
Justin’s ears perked up. Finally. Someone on his side. “Thanks for the concern, Joe, but yeah. I’m sure.”
Justin frowned. JC hadn’t told HIM thanks for the concern. “Who’s paying for his ticket?” He asked sharper than he meant. “Struggling artists can’t fly here and there on a moment’s notice.”
“Justin,” Lance warned.
“No, it’s okay.” JC turned his beautiful blue eyes on Justin, who felt six inches tall. “I’m paying. You do that with people you love. But then, you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, Justin?” The doors opened and JC stepped out onto their floor. Justin hung back, not able to meet the gaze of anyone else. No one understood.
You don’t see me…I see you all the time baby…you don’t see me…the way you look at him…you don’t see me…I wish it was me sweetheart…boy, I wish it was me…
JC hardly talked to Justin after that. The others were sympathetic, particularly Lance, but they didn’t say much. Two months went by with continual reports on how wonderful Oliver was, and there was even mention of him moving into JC’s house while JC was out on tour. Justin wanted to die. Everything came to a head one Friday night. They were in New York City, and JC was supposed to meet up with Oliver and spend the weekend with him. He left the hotel cheerfully, calling goodbyes to Chris and Joey over his shoulder. Lance clapped Justin on the back sympathetically, slowly pulling him away from the others. “You have it bad, don’t you?”
Justin started to protest, then realized he couldn’t lie to his one ally. “Yes,” he said sadly. “He’ll never look at me that way. He hates me now. I only freaked because I wanted him, and I can’t ever have him, Lance.”
“C’mon, Justin. I’ll buy you a drink.” Lance told Chris and Joey where they were going, and led Justin off to the bar.
Two hours later, Justin went up to his room to make some calls, and Lance knocked on Joey’s door. “Hey, wanna go out?” Lance asked.
Joey looked over his shoulder. “Uh, no. Not right now.”
“Is that someone crying?”
“It’s JC,” Joey finally admitted. Lance turned on one heel and went to pound on Justin’s door.
“What, Lance? We just left each other. I…”
“It’s JC. He needs you.”
Justin shut the door and stepped into the hallway, ignoring the fact that his key was still inside the room. He pushed past Joey. “Where is he?”
“Justin, this is not the time to say I told you so,” Joey warned.
“Shut up, Joey,” Lance said, grabbing Joey and dragging him out of the suite and into the hallway.
JC was curled up into a ball on Joey’s sofa. Justin slowly sat down next to him. “Jayce? What happened?”
“He…I was supposed to meet him, okay, in front of his hotel…and I was early because I stopped to buy him a gift…and when I got there he was saying goodbye to someone…” JC looked up, eyes red-rimmed with tears. “And they weren’t just friends, J. Not friends at all.”
“Oh, God, Josh,” Justin murmured. He put a hand on JC’s arm and was surprised when JC fell into his arms.
“I gave him everything, Justin. Not just money, but my free time…my body…my soul…I wrote fucking SONGS for him…”
“What a prick…I want to kick that fucker’s ass,” Justin growled, tightening his arms around JC. “No one treats you like that, baby. NO one.”
“You were so right…he was a loser…using me…” JC froze. “What did you say?”
“That no one treats you like that,” Justin repeated.
“No.” JC sat up. “You called me baby. Why?”
“I…well…” Justin blushed and stood up. “See…I uh…well…yeah…I’m like in love with you or something…but that isn’t the issue. The issue is he’s a prick and I’m gonna kick his ass,” Justin said frantically. JC sniffled.
“You’re in love with me? Since when?”
“Like two years ago.”
“So you’re not mad I’m gay?”
“HELL no, Jayce. I was never happier in my LIFE then when I heard you were gay…because then I had a chance…but I couldn’t say anything and you hooked up with Oliver the Great and I wanted to die.” Justin sat down and buried his head in his hands. “How embarrassing.”
“No.” JC put a hand on his arm. “I said such awful things, Justin…I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be.” Justin looked at JC. “Please don’t cry, JC. It kills me.”
“It hurts,” he said.
“I know,” Justin replied gently. They looked at each other for a long moment, then JC slowly wrapped himself in Justin’s arms once more. Justin stroked the soft hair, saying nothing.