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Chocolate Milk

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Sunggyu’s smile always comes a little easier when Myungsoo’s around. He doesn’t realize it, but Myungsoo does.

Woohyun brings out the adorable kid in Sunggyu; Myungsoo brings out the vulnerable and innocent boy in Sunggyu. Sunggyu and Myungsoo don’t realize it, but their band members do.

Sunggyu tends to be a naggy old man, but Myungsoo rarely makes him worry. Not never, just less.

Myungsoo is protective of Sunggyu. The leader might be three years older than he is, but that doesn’t stop Myungsoo from wanting to protect him. He doesn’t know why exactly; he just feels like he should.

Myungsoo likes when Sunggyu laughs, even if he’s not the reason he does. It doesn’t really matter to him, as long as Sunggyu is genuinely happy.

Myungsoo doesn’t remember when he started feeling like that. He isn’t particularly fond of that feeling, although he doesn’t hate it either. It is just that little tugging at his heart whenever he sees his hyung sad that bothers him.

Like that time Sunggyu was sick and they still had to attend so many events. Sunggyu never really smiled the entire day; all he could manage were weak little smiles, sometimes they were forced, sometimes he was just too tired to laugh. Myungsoo’s frown almost became permanent on his face after that day.

It wasn’t until Sunggyu didn’t even smile widely after it was announced that they had won that day’s music chart that Myungsoo decided he had to do something. He was initially standing in front of the leader, but had somehow got moved to the side because everyone was talking to him. The next time he glanced at Sunggyu, Myungsoo stopped smiling.

It was their encore stage next, and Myungsoo was up first. Sunggyu was standing behind rather listlessly, and Myungsoo did the first thing that came to his mind right after his part was done. Woohyun’s obnoxious cute little actions always amused Sunggyu, so Myungsoo kissed his fingers and extended his hand to the fans as if giving them his kiss.

It took a few moments, then Sunggyu burst out laughing.

Myungsoo couldn’t help but smile too. He didn’t know why he did it—when he thought about it later he figured it was probably because Sunggyu was too cute—but he suddenly hugged Sunggyu from the back.

Sunggyu never protested. He just continued grinning, though Myungsoo could swear he felt Sunggyu go rigid for a slight moment. Myungsoo just held him tightly so Sunggyu couldn’t even move his arms, and started rocking around and taking small steps. The leader had no choice but to adhere to his every move. In hindsight Myungsoo supposed it was sort of awkward, but he couldn’t care less at that point.

“Hyung, I like when you smile,” Myungsoo said.

Sunggyu turned a little to look at him. “Are you secretly Woohyun today?”

Myungsoo chuckled. “You can say I learnt from the best.”

“Of all things to learn! I need to tell him to stop influencing you guys.”

“But you like it.”

“I—”

“Oh, it’s your part now!” Myungsoo let Sunggyu go and then started lip-syncing to his part (“being hurt is tiring, yeah, every time I see you like that”) while looking at him.

Then they spent almost the rest of the song being awkward and avoiding each other’s gaze, until Myungsoo did some weird hand wave and went to hide behind Sunggyu because he was embarrassed. They were comfortable with each other again for a few moments, until Myungsoo felt the awkwardness returning when Sunggyu’s hand on his shoulder suddenly became all too stiff.

They didn’t speak to each other the rest of the day.

Myungsoo supposes it should have already been clear to him then. The leader he respects yet loves to mock isn’t just a leader to him anymore. He isn’t just a friend either. Myungsoo thinks if he were, then it wouldn’t hurt as much to see him unhappy. If he were, then Myungsoo’s heart wouldn’t pound relentlessly whenever Sunggyu laughed in that unique way of his. If he were, then maybe Myungsoo wouldn’t want to protect him so bad.

Myungsoo sighs, thinking back of every moment they had shared, including that time he had lost rock-paper-scissors with Sunggyu on purpose so Sunggyu could have the fan while the air-conditioning was down. And every time Sunggyu clung to him like a little boy regardless of where they were. And every time Sunggyu acted like a five-year-old in front of him.

He fidgets under his blanket, staring at the ceiling. He can hear soft snores from Dongwoo and Sungyeol, and he wonders what he is still doing up. He frowns when that thought is almost immediately replaced by the thought of what Sunggyu and Woohyun might be doing. Myungsoo shakes his head a little, chiding himself in his head for even thinking that. The next thought he has almost makes him groan out loud.

Myungsoo has thought a lot of things about Sunggyu. Him being aggressive isn’t one of those things. But now Myungsoo can’t stop thinking about the way the leader stripped off his jacket and moved him around forcefully earlier on. He doesn’t remember Sunggyu being like that with the other members at all. Right now he just wants Sunggyu’s hands on him. It doesn’t even matter where; Myungsoo just wants to feel Sunggyu’s hands on him.

Myungsoo lets out the groan this time, but muffles it with his pillow. He is never going to get sleep at this rate. He tosses around in bed for a few more minutes before finally giving up. He leaves the room as quietly as he can so he won’t wake Sungyeol, and heads to the kitchen.

He runs his fingers through his hair as he steps into the kitchen, then his hand just freezes in that position.

The refrigerator door is open, and Sunggyu is bending over so his ass is waving around in the air.

For a split second, Myungsoo thinks he wants that ass too, on top of wanting Sunggyu’s hands. He snaps out of it quickly when Sunggyu stands up and closes the refrigerator door. Now Myungsoo doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

“Hey, hyung.”

Sunggyu almost dies of fright. He knocks over the carton of full cream milk (which is fortunately still unopened) he has just taken out of the fridge and bends slightly over the tabletop, his hand placed over his heart. After a moment he straightens and turns to look at Myungsoo.

“Did you really have to do that? You couldn’t have heavier footsteps or something?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright,” Sunggyu says, between gulps from the milk carton. “Can’t sleep either?”

Myungsoo nods, still feeling very self-conscious about his hands. He needs to do something with them before he goes crazy. “Yeah.” He supposes he might as well cross over to the fridge and attempt to look for something to eat or drink. That will put him in a spot right next to Sunggyu though.

“Try to sleep soon, we have a pretty long day tomorrow too.”

Myungsoo decides to go to the refrigerator anyway. Better there than stand awkwardly in the doorway. “Yeah… I’ll just… Get something to eat.”

Sunggyu holds out his milk carton. “Do you want this?”

“Okay,” Myungsoo says and takes it from Sunggyu. Their fingers brush and Myungsoo freezes for a moment, feeling a tingle up his spine. He pretends nothing happened, and watches Sunggyu for his reaction. Sunggyu doesn’t seem to have noticed, to his relief.

Sunggyu’s hand lingers on Myungsoo’s shoulder a little while after patting it. “Go sleep after this.”

Sunggyu is already at the doorway of the kitchen when Myungsoo calls him back.

Myungsoo is at a loss for words when Sunggyu turns. He wasn’t thinking when he blurted out “hyung!” and now he just stands there looking at Sunggyu.

Sunggyu looks back at him with raised brows.

Neither speaks for a few moments, they just stare at each other. Myungsoo thinks he could probably keep it up all night, if that meant he would not have to say anything at all to Sunggyu.

“You were going to say something?”

Myungsoo hurriedly finishes the last of the milk, and wipes his lips with the back of his hand. He tosses the empty carton into the rubbish bin. “I…”

Sunggyu takes a few small, tentative steps towards him, as if nervous about what Myungsoo will say. “What?”

“I… Er… Are you feeling better now?”

Sunggyu nods.

Myungsoo nods back.

“That’s all you wanted to say?” Sunggyu absently rubs his eyes. He doesn’t notice Myungsoo has already crossed the kitchen and is standing right in front of him.

“Hyung, actually—”

Sunggyu abruptly doubles over in shock. “For goodness sake, Myungsoo, will you stop doing that?” Sunggyu straightens and narrows his eyes at Myungsoo. Or at least, Myungsoo thinks he did. Sometimes no one can tell because Sunggyu’s eyes are too small anyway. That’s not to say Myungsoo doesn’t like them that way though. He loves how most of the time they’re just little slits, but when the leader is surprised his eyes can still open so wide. He loves how they curve when Sunggyu laughs. He— “Myungsoo?”

Myungsoo snaps out of his trance. “G— G— Gyu-hyung…” Myungsoo feels like smacking himself. This is one of the rare times they’re actually acting their ages and Sunggyu is being the older guy that he is. Myungsoo watches as Sunggyu raises a tentative hand, reaching out at him, but he withdraws it at the last moment and runs his fingers through his own hair instead. Myungsoo grabs his wrist mid-movement.

Sunggyu’s brows scrunch up. The questioning look on his face only makes him that much more adorable.

“Hyung, I…” Myungsoo feels his heart going into overdrive. He is pretty sure Sunggyu could hear it.

Sunggyu places his free hand on Myungsoo’s shoulder, then skims it across his chest before resting it right where Myungsoo’s heart is. Myungsoo thinks he might die if his heart beats any faster. Then Sunggyu wriggles his other hand free of Myungsoo’s hold, and turns the tables on him by grabbing Myungsoo’s wrist instead. “I know, Myungsoo.” He puts Myungsoo’s hand on his chest, and Myungsoo now knows too.

He steps closer to the leader, and Sunggyu looks away from him. Myungsoo takes both of his hands and guides them to the small of his back. Sunggyu slides them lower so they rest on top on Myungsoo’s ass. Myungsoo’s breath hitches.

Sunggyu sighs. “That makes both of us.”

“What?”

“You have no idea, do you?”

Myungsoo stares at Sunggyu, at a loss for words. “I…”

Sunggyu squeezes Myungsoo’s ass and grins at him. Myungsoo doesn’t know if he wants to throttle Sunggyu for teasing him or kiss him senseless. When Sunggyu leans forward and whispers into his ear, “If you only knew how long I’ve wanted to do this…” Myungsoo supposes the latter option seems like a much better choice.

“I don’t, but you can tell me later,” Myungsoo says, then wraps his own arms around Sunggyu, and kisses him chastely. “How about this, then?”

Sunggyu appears to be pondering. “Maybe just a little longer.”

“Really?” Myungsoo’s genuinely surprised tone amuses Sunggyu, and the leader chuckles softly.

“I thought you couldn’t get any more clueless.”

“I just— Uh…” Myungsoo gives up. “Can we… talk about this next time?” He gestures towards the little clock that hangs in the kitchen. It is 03:22.

“Okay,” Sunggyu says. Then he holds Myungsoo’s face and kisses him. Wet and hard.

Myungsoo laments the loss of Sunggyu’s strong hands on his ass for a moment, then gives himself over to Sunggyu completely. So much for kissing him senseless, Myungsoo thinks, when he’s now the one being kissed senseless. Or maybe not, considering how awkward it is, since their teeth just keep knocking into each other’s. Sunggyu breaks the kiss first and chuckles.

“Oh god, that is worse than I had imagined it to be.”

“There’s always next—wait, you’ve imagined how it would be?”

“Honestly, Myungsoo, you need to stop being so shocked at everything.”

“I just never thought you were that serious.”

Sunggyu laughs. It’s his typical laugh, the one that makes his eyes disappear completely and he throws his head up. Myungsoo can’t help but grin widely. Loving the way Sunggyu laughs is one thing, but when the leader is laughing because of him… Myungsoo supposes that feeling is something he will need to get used to. They stare at each other for a bit after that. Then Sunggyu says, “Shall we try that again just once more? Before going back to bed?”

Myungsoo doesn’t need any further prompting. He takes the initiative this time, pressing his lips to Sunggyu’s. They get used to each other more quickly, and they kiss till they are both out of breath. “Well, that went a lot better,” Myungsoo says softly, sure that he is blushing.

Sunggyu nods, then strokes Myungsoo’s face. “You’re cute when you’re shy.”

Myungsoo wants to hide in a hole. He covers his face with his hands and looks away. Then he freezes. “Woohyun.”

Sunggyu turns in the same direction. “How long have you been standing there?”

Woohyun shrugs. “Long enough.” His cheeky grin tells Myungsoo that he’s been there longer than enough.

Sunggyu grabs Woohyun by the arm and starts dragging him away. “Go and sleep, Myungsoo, long day tomorrow.” He gives him an apologetic smile as he pulls Woohyun back to their room.

“Yah, Nam Woohyun, if you dare tell this to the rest of them—”

“Hyung, you’re so stupid, we…”

The door to Sunggyu and Woohyun’s room closes and Myungsoo can’t hear what they are saying anymore. He wishes he could have at least heard Woohyun’s entire sentence. Now it’s just going to bug him all night until he gets a chance to ask Sunggyu.

Myungsoo stands in the kitchen for a while, and finally goes back to his room when he decides that Sunggyu tastes like chocolate milk. He falls asleep in seconds.

The next day he can’t help but feel that everyone somehow already found out about him and Sunggyu. It doesn’t help when Sunggyu slaps his ass casually on the way out of their dorm like it’s the most normal thing on Earth. Myungsoo groans softly, and thinks he hears Woohyun chuckle. He buries his face in his hands for a moment before Dongwoo the touchy dinosaur puts his hand around his waist and forces him out the door. Myungsoo watches the leader laughing and playing around with Woohyun and supposes maybe Sunggyu isn’t that vulnerable and innocent boy he needs to protect after all.