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Santa, Baby

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"You know you've been a really good sport about this."

Axis paused in the hallway, scowling in the direction of that voice. Mercutio sounded happy; screw that, Mercutio sounded positively jubilant. Something creepy was about to go down, he just knew it. There was a tiny voice of sense in the red head's skull that told him to just go, keep walking and pretend he had heard nothing. He would have listened to it too, except something occurred to him.

"Now we just need – oh yeeeess! You're so good at this, I might not let you go after this is all over..."

Who the hell was the freak talking to?!

He inched towards the intersection of hallways and peered very, very carefully around the corner. There were many things you had to be ready to face when that guy was involved, so Axis was ready for dildos. He was ready for high heels. He was ready for bridles.

"Hands, Mercutio."

He was not ready for Mercutio in ass-less Santa pant chaps crouching down in the middle of the hallway, one hand halfway under the crushed red velvet of a lightly blushing Linneus' mini skirt. A man who spent the better part of his day training weirdo's to be even weirder really shouldn't have been able to pout like that.

"Aw, but Linny-poo-"

"Adjusting my stockings is one thing. Feeling around inside my underwear is another." Linneus told him firmly, hand resting on what Axis was only just realizing was a candy cane striped whip at his hip. The appricative leer that the silver-haired pervert was giving the other made his skin crawl, but it didn't seem to bother Linneus. At all. He couldn't tare his eyes off them as their meek and mild Linneus used the curled bull whip to tilt Mercutio's chin up, forcing him to meet his eyes.

Oh fuck him sideways, was that a fucking Mrs Claus corset Linneus was wearing? It was.

"Now, or you're going on the Naughty List."

"So forceful, Mrs Claus."

Mercutio's hand thankfully reappeared and he slinked right back up along his fellow whore's even more feminine than usual form. High heels and a corset would do that for you though, Axis noted dimly. 'See!' said that little voice inside him 'See! I told you to keep walking!'

"Well that is what your client's paying for, isn't it?" The pink haired man asked with a teasing grin to match Mercutio's. The Santa hat that had hung on his belt was tugged free and slipped on top of that hair, the red and white contrasting sharply with his unusual hair. "Where's your leash? In your room as usual?"

Axis never wanted to know how often this happened for anything to be 'usual'.

"Of course!" Mercutio was far too happy as they started off towards the freak's room and whatever weirdo was waiting there. Axis relaxed a little, pressing against the wall and trying to erase the image of Mercutio's red velvet framed ass from his mind. That and the pair of baubles hung over his crotch he'd thought he'd glimpsed. Really, who the fuck did that? He was so absorbed that the sudden whip crack made him jump and yelp. Moving on the anger that swiftly followed on the heels of fright, he swung towards the sound -

"What the FUCK DO YOU- Oh."

- And stopped cold, realising he'd just blown his own cover and that a sweetly smiling Linneus was brandishing the candy-cane bullwhip like he knew exactly how to use it. Mercutio bounced happily behind Santa-Trap, nearly unable to contain his laughter but grinning gleefully.

"Don't you have better things to do than eavesdrop, Axis?"

"Unless you want to be on the Naughty List too?!"

"Uh – yeah. I mean no. I mean – gottagoseeya bye!"

As he was making a manly retreat ('Running away, you're running away!' chimed the little voice) Axis made a mental note to just Keep Walking next time he heard Mercutio in the hallways.