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i miss you, dumbass.

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Hi, Oji.
Long-time no see.

I can’t believe I’m writing this. So embarrassing.
But you know, I miss seeing your stupid face.

It’s been a year already.
A year since I’ve seen you for the last time.

Everything has changed since then.

Minhee is gone. Kitae was sentenced and is now in prison. Mr. Cho has retired.

And I? I left Korea.

I went to Sydney like I planned.

It might seem like I’m doing well.
I have a lot of money so I can live a stable life. I ran away so the police cannot charge me.
Everything seems fine, right?

Ha… I wish it was like that.
Every day is like living in hell.

I get nightmares. The guilt inside me is unbearable. I have no one.
I will never forgive myself what I have done to you.

It’s so fucked up. It shouldn’t turn that way. Everything turned into a mess.
It was my fault.
I was the one who showed up in your life.
I was the one who blackmailed you into letting me in your business.
I was the one who hurt you.

I was the one that held you for the last time when you were bleeding out in my arms.

I could save you. I could call an ambulance. But you didn’t want to.
I wish I didn’t listen to you.

The truth is that I’m a scaredy cat. Just like you.
Mr. Cho wasn’t wrong when he said we are alike.

Oh Jisoo, you stupid asshole.
Why did you choose death over sentence?

You were a complete idiot but I loved you anyways.
You hear me? I really loved you, Jisoo.
You were everything I had in my life.

Now that you’re gone there’s no one to fill the empty void you had left.

Why the fuck I cannot turn back time? Why?

We could be like Bonnie and Clyde but it didn’t end up well like everything in your life.

I miss you, dumbass.
I miss you my Oji.
I miss the times everything was fine.

Let’s meet again someday.
Hopefully soon,

Baegyul.