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Final Fantasy 7 Deleted Scenes

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Final Fantasy 7 Deleted Scenes

 

(Scene 1)

 

[Barrett gives Cloud a little tour of the Avalanche base in Tifa’s Seventh Heaven in which Barrett introduces Cloud to his little daughter Marlene.]

 

Barrett: Well Spiky this little lady here is Marlene, my dear sweet little daughter.

 

Marlene: Hi there Papa.

 

Barrett: Hey there sweetie.

 

Cloud (thinking): Papa?! But how in the…

 

[Then in a matter of moments Cloud notices that Marlene is hanging out with Tifa at the bar.]

 

Cloud: Wow, apparently your daughter Marlene seems to get along with Tifa really well.

 

Barrett: Ah yeah usually when Tifa is not serving us drinks she is normally here taking good care of Marlene.

 

Cloud: I see… so if you are the Team Dad of this crew here I guess Tifa must be the Team Mom.

 

Barrett: Well yeah I am the Team Daddy here alright but Tifa as the Team Mom? Hmm, now that you mention it yeah I guess that sounds about right.

 

Cloud: *gulp* I see… *under his breath* so that’s how… ah man…

 

Barrett: Hmm? You said something there Spiky?

 

Cloud: Oh uh… it’s nothing Barrett, it’s… nothing.

 

Barrett: Well if you say so Spiky.

 

[Meanwhile a short while later Tifa finds Cloud nearby sitting by himself at the bar having a drink.]

 

Tifa (thinking): Hmm… it looks like Cloud is drinking by himself, alright now is my chance to fix that.

 

[Tifa gets a little bit closer to Cloud.]

 

Tifa: Hey there Cloud.

 

Cloud: Oh uh… he… hey there Tifa.

 

Tifa: It has been a while since we last saw each-other, you seemed to have grown a bit since the last time I saw you.

 

Cloud: Yeah… you… you’ve grown a bit since then too.

 

Tifa (feeling a little proud): Oh you’ve noticed?

 

Cloud: Uh-huh you got… a bit taller.

 

Tifa: Taller? *sigh* Right Cloud… sure…

 

[Then Tifa gets closer to Cloud sitting next to him.]

 

Tifa: Well you know Cloud we could try to… *as she presses her rather large breasts onto him* get a bit more time to ourselves. If you like I can get you the house special, of course it will be on me. What do you say?

 

Cloud: Uhhh… uhh… thanks but… but no thanks… I think I’ve had enough. I mean I should cut off now, so… so see you later.

 

[Cloud leaves the scene]

 

Tifa (thinking): Was I coming off a bit too strong to him? I hope not, still I didn’t think Cloud would be this shy… I wonder why?

 

[Moments later, as Tifa is looking for Cloud she runs into Jessie, Biggs & Wedge.]

 

Tifa: Excuse me; hey you three have any of you seen Cloud anywhere lately?

 

Jessie: Ah yeah I think Cloud is in the closet.

 

Tifa: I see, thank you.

 

[Tifa leaves the scene]

 

Wedge: Huh? In the closet, uh Jessie while Cloud maybe a pretty boy but I don’t think he really swings that way.

 

Jessie: No you dope, I meant that literally as in the supply closet.

 

Wedge: Oh…

 

Biggs: Besides Wedge, Jessie is a bit too interested in Cloud to think he is like that at all.

 

Jessie: Interested in Cloud? Well… I… I suppose that is true…

 

Wedge: That is true but it seems like Tifa is pretty interested in him too.

 

Biggs: Well yes that is very true.

 

Jessie: Ugh don’t remind me… *sigh* Great now I feel like kicking myself for telling Ms. Jumbo Jugs where to find Cloud.

 

Biggs: Aw what’s the matter Jess, are you a little sore that Tifa has at least a couple of massive advantages over you?

 

Jessie: Ah hah ah hah ha… Oh dear sweet Biggs, don’t make me hurt you. *giggles*

 

Biggs: Yes Ma’am.

 

Wedge: Oh c’mon Biggs you remember what happened the last time you ignored one of Jessie’s cutesy thinly veiled threats?

 

Jessie: Yeah Biggs do you remember?

 

Biggs: Yes Jessie I remember, though you might want to be careful over how many times you may want to threaten me, people might talk.

 

Jessie: Oh shut up Biggs, don’t flatter yourself.

 

Biggs: Heh yes ma’am.

 

[Meanwhile moments later Tifa does manage to find Cloud in the Supply Closet.]

 

Tifa: There you are Cloud; I’ve been looking for you.

 

Cloud: Ah… uh… Tifa, yeah I… I just felt I want to go somewhere a little bit more… private.

 

Tifa: Oh I see… I was wondering why you were being so shy around me earlier. Oh Cloud if you wanted to be somewhere with a bit more privacy you should’ve just told me.

 

[Tifa gets closer to Cloud, as she presses her breasts upon his chest holding him.]

 

Tifa: Now where were we? Oh yes Cloud I was wondering if the two of us can have some… private time, so we can get a bit more reacquainted.

 

Cloud: Well I uh… I uh…

 

[Then as Cloud tries to back away he opens the door and tries to step out of the supply closet.]

 

Barrett: Hmm? What is going on here?

 

Cloud: AH! BARRETT! IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE HONEST! Tifa was the one coming on to me! Trust me Barrett I am not trying to turn you into a cuck here!

 

Barrett: Cuck? What in the…

 

Tifa: Cloud what are you talking about?

 

Cloud: And as for you Tifa what were you thinking trying to hit on me in a place like this?! I mean your husband and daughter are here, for crying out loud!

 

Tifa: Wait… what?!

 

Barrett: Her what now?

 

Cloud (feeling very awkward): Uhhh… your… baby daddy?

 

Biggs: Wow… this escalated quickly.

 

Wedge: No kidding.

 

Jessie: Hush you two; we’re getting to the good part of this little drama here.

 

Marlene: Papa what is going on here?

 

Barrett: It's okay sweetie we are just trying to teach Spikey here a lesson.

 

Tifa: Let me get this straight Cloud, you thought that I’m Marlene’s mother? No of course not, I’m her babysitter not her mother.

 

Barrett: Yeah uh… Spiky, I know I said that Marlene is my sweet little daughter but she is my adopted daughter, I didn’t think I had to explain that little detail because well… you know…

 

Tifa: Besides Cloud I am clearly not old enough to be a mother to a little girl like Marlene here. Marlene sweetie, remind me again how old are you?

 

Marlene: I’m 4 years old.

 

Tifa: Oh so your 4 years old huh Marlene so that would mean I was… eh heh heh okay so that may not be… entirely true but… but the point still stands here!

 

Barrett (thinking): Wait a minute if I remember correctly Tifa was only 16 when Marlene was born… oh depending on where we are that might be a problem, now if this is Tifa in her current age that would be a different story. Uh… I probably should not be over thinking this though.

 

Cloud: Okay Barrett I get it now that you say that Marlene is your adopted daughter and at first I wondered if that was the case. But then I saw Tifa doting on Marlene so motherly and you said that you and Tifa were like the Team Dad & Mom here. Then I also noticed how Marlene kind of reminded me of Tifa when she was younger here. Okay I admit I… may have had a thing for Tifa when we were a bit younger but I was able to do the math here. Lets just say I was able to figure out how a large black man managed to get a white brunette daughter.

 

Biggs: Hmmm… well I got to say what Cloud said does make some sense.

 

Wedge: Yeah don’t feel bad Cloud I used to wonder if Tifa is Marlene’s mother too so it happens to the best of us.

 

Jessie (thinking): Wait a minute so Cloud thought that Tifa was Barrett’s Baby Mama? Shame it’s not true otherwise I would be having a little less competition here.

 

Barrett: I admit Spiky a lot of the things you said do make some sense… uh but that being said I do intend to keep things professional with my colleagues like Tifa here of course.

 

Tifa: Oh yes uh professional besides if I remember correctly Barrett is about... twice my age?

 

Barrett: Not… entirely true there Tifa, I mean I’m only 35, I’m not even middle-aged yet.

 

Tifa: So you're 15 years older than me?

 

Barrett: *sigh* Yes…

 

Tifa: Anyways, Cloud, I assure you that if I do ever get married and become a mother I would not be out fooling around with another guy, got it?

 

Cloud: *gulp* Yeah sorry about that…

 

Marlene: Wait a minute you people think that Tifa is my Mama?

 

Tifa: Yeah but don’t worry sweetie we told him that it was all a misunderstanding.

 

Marlene: Oh that is okay besides I always did think of you like a Mama there Tifa, *giggle* maybe I should start calling you Mama then.

 

Tifa: Aw thank you sweetie… however that being said perhaps you should start seeing me as your big sister than your mama, okay Marlene?

 

Barrett: Yeah uh… Marlene, sweetie, I know you mean well and all but if you start calling Tifa your Mama then it might get people to start asking… questions. Questions that Papa may not want people to be asking…

 

Marlene: Hmm? Why is that Papa?

 

Tifa: I believe what your Papa is trying to say is that perhaps you should be a bit more mindful about your actual Mama.

 

Marlene: Oh… well I never knew my real Mama.

 

Tifa: Aw I’m sorry sweetie; I admit I never knew my Mama either…

 

Marlene: Oh…

 

Tifa: Though that being said on a lighter note I do agree with Cloud that you do kind of remind me of when I was little.

 

Marlene: I do? Yea! Oh Tifa if I remind you of when you were little I wonder if this means I will grow up to have a body like yours when I get all grown-up and beautiful like you.

 

Tifa: Thank you sweetie and that… might happen but it will be a while before you can worry about that.

 

Barrett (thinking): Ah man, if Marlene does grow up looking like Tifa… oh I better get started on my target practice.

 

Tifa (thinking): *sigh* I can’t believe Cloud would think that I would be the kind of lady who would cheat on her husband so brazenly like that? I mean okay I admit I’m… not the most prudent lady around here but… but still! Still there is the fact that he did have such a thing for me when we were kids, so I may still have a shot here.

 

Barrett: Alright folks the show is over, now that we have set things straight for Spiky here lets go over our plans for the next mission alright?

 

(Scene 2)

 

[Now we see Tifa with her hands & feet restrained in a Shinra Gas Chamber being approached by Miss Scarlett.]

 

Scarlett: Well, well so you are Ms. “Seventh Heaven” herself, Tifa Lockhart, I am Scarlett and I will be observing this little event.

 

Tifa: This little event huh, you mean my execution?

 

Scarlett: Well now my dear not everyone gets an executioner as sexy as I am, so you should consider yourself quite lucky.

 

Tifa: Really, let me guess you are getting such a sick thrill over this, right?

 

Scarlett: Actually as a matter of fact, I don’t.

 

Tifa: You… don’t?

 

Scarlett: That is correct.

 

Tifa: So… are you a… *briefly looks around* Avalanche sympathizer?

 

Scarlett: Oh I’m not sure if I would go that far, however it would be rather wasteful to eliminate a fine young lady like you. However Shinra does want to make you an example to help showcase their power. I guess it just goes to show you how disposable we ladies can be huh?

 

Tifa: Yeah, but it’s really odd how public executions are Shinra’s idea of “Must see TV”.

 

Scarlett: Perhaps, but my initial suggestion was to have your clothing stripped off and showcase your nude body to the world. Rest assured that was very popular with our test audiences for sure. However the FCC was rejecting that idea though.

 

Tifa: Wait your first idea was to strip me naked and have people look at my nude body?

 

Scarlett: Would you prefer that we revisit the public execution idea?

 

Tifa: Well okay yes a public execution would be a lot worse but it’s the principle of the matter here. Wait a minute so the FCC would object to me being seen nude but they are okay with me being publicly executed?

 

Scarlett: Oh trust me I am just as baffled as you are, but then again we do live in a world where a woman’s nipple would be considered more explicit than a bunch of bloody mutilated corpses. Go figure…

 

Tifa: Okay yeah their priorities are a bit off.

 

Scarlett: Yes but are you sure you have never done any pornographic there Tifa after all you definitely seem more than qualified for that.

 

Tifa: Alright yes I maybe very qualified to be a Porn star but that doesn’t mean I am one.

 

Scarlett: Oh come now dear there is no need to be so shy, however when this idea was being suggested some of the soldiers volunteered to take turns having their way with you.

 

Tifa: Oh really?

 

Scarlett: Yes but rest assured I had those vulgar degenerates be severely disciplined for their actions.

 

Tifa: I see, uh… thank you.

 

Scarlett: You’re quite welcome dear, still it does seem like you and I have a thing or two in common.

 

Tifa: Really what makes you say that?

 

Scarlett: Well for starters Tifa when it comes to voluptuous beauty you and I are practically equals.

 

Tifa: Well… okay we may have very similar measurements Scarlett but I’m sure that is where the similarities end.

 

Scarlett: Oh don’t be so sure my dear, after all I do have wealth & power but yet I can hardly find a man who can truly satisfy me.

 

Tifa: Well I am more of a Small Business owner but as for a man well…

 

Scarlett: Let me guess dear you have yet to find a man to satisfy you as well.

 

Tifa: Well I… I’m not sure how to answer that.

 

Scarlett: I see… oh my dear Tifa you know it’s rather strange on how we are such voluptuous vixens that men would desire and women would envy so it seems like we could get any man we want huh? Yet despite all that when it comes to seeking true romance we might as well be invisible… Oh it certainly does seem to be quite lonely, does it not?

 

Tifa: *sigh* That is true… it really is quite lonely.

 

Scarlett: Yes, you may already know that I am the “token woman” among the higher-ups at Shinra. Most of the other men at Shinra are doddering old fools who are probably to definitely old enough to be my father. Sure there is Reeve Tuesti and Mr. Rufus Shinra himself but they usually seem to be more focused on their jobs than anything else, know what I mean?

 

Tifa: Men who are more concerned with their jobs than anything else… yeah that does seem really familiar.

 

Scarlett: I see… I see… Interesting… Well Tifa since I am in such a good mood I will tell you a little something. While I will admit that as the old phrase goes “the show must go on” when it comes to your public execution however I made sure that the gas here is only mere knockout gas.

 

Tifa: Kn… knockout gas? Uh don’t get me wrong I’m glad that you don’t intend to kill me but… but won’t this get you in trouble?

 

Scarlett: Not necessarily… Oh Tifa your concern is sweet but rest assured it is not needed. For starters I had all the security cameras here disabled so nobody is listening on us as we speak. Also while yes I admit you may need to lay low for a little while but this whole “public execution” is nothing more than just some publicity stunt. Yes your “Public Execution” is just Shinra trying to make it appear that they seem more powerful than your little friends at Avalanche to the public. Trust me Tifa if Shinra truly wanted you dead they would’ve been a lot more discreet about it.

 

Tifa: I see… still, so public executions are Shinra’s idea in public relations, heh and they wonder why they deal with rebellions so often huh?

 

Scarlett: Perhaps, but there has been some new management in Shinra recently. Anyways it will be time for your big scene soon and while you may not get to pose do try to look good for the cameras dear but I’m sure you’ll be quite a natural.

 

Tifa: So after the “Public Execution” is over and I wake up I’ll be set free? Thank you for sparing my life Miss Scarlett, even though I admit I’m… not sure why, so does this mean… you want us to be friends?

 

Scarlett (muffled sinister laugh): Oh my dear Tifa you are as sweet as you are sexy, trust me my dear I want to be much more than just good friends with you. *as Scarlett is getting her hands on Tifa’s body* I am hoping that I can use you to help satisfy my… urges.

 

[Then Scarlett immediately makes out with Tifa in a passionate kiss, then Scarlett is necking Tifa causing Tifa to moan in pleasure as Scarlett is fondling Tifa’s breasts. After a few moments Scarlett is still necking Tifa but is now trying to feel up Tifa’s thighs but now as Scarlett let’s go.]

 

Scarlett:  Oh my I almost forgot myself for a moment there; I need to save that energy for… later.

 

Tifa: Wha… what in the…

 

Scarlett: Well to answer your earlier question Tifa while yes you will be freed from this chamber once the process is done but as for being freed well… *muffled laugh* you will be spending some time with me in my bedroom. Wait is this bothering you? I’m not sure why after all you certainly didn’t seem to mind when I gave you a little sample of how I will be pleasuring you tonight my dear.

 

Tifa: Well… yes, that is true…

 

Scarlett: After all, my dear Tifa, like I said we have yet to be truly satisfied by a man so perhaps we can find satisfaction in each-other. See you soon my dear, rest assured I am so looking forward to tonight. *sinister laugh then blows a kiss* See you later.

 

[Meanwhile moments later from a nearby hallway our heroes Cloud, Barrett & Aeris just finished fighting some Shinra Soldiers while they are on their way to save Tifa.]

 

Aeris: Are you two okay?

 

Cloud: We’re just fine Aeris, it’ll take more than that to take us down.

 

Barrett: You got that right Spiky, so you got any idea where we are?

 

Cloud: Not a clue.

 

Barrett: *sigh* Figures, still we are getting pretty deep into this place so we can’t be too far off.

 

Aeris: Oh I hope we can make it in time to save Tifa.

 

Barrett: I’m sure we will, that being said all this running & fighting off soldiers is getting us nowhere. Yo Spiky I got an idea, instead of fighting these chumps perhaps we should start asking one of them for some directions if you know what I mean.

 

Cloud: Ah yeah I think I do.

 

Barrett: Cool, let’s go you two.

 

[Now we see a Shinra Soldier approaching Aeris seemingly looking lost.]

 

Soldier: What in the…

 

Aeris: Oh hello sir I am but a simple wandering flower girl, would you like to buy a flower?

 

Soldier: Heh sorry lady but we soldiers aren’t exactly in the market for flowers, now hands up.

 

Aeris: Oh my, this soldier is using his great big gun on little ol’ me, how scary! Oh I hope this stern & scary man isn’t planning on doing anything naughty to me.

 

Soldier (slightly flustered): He… hey easy on that talk there lady! I… I happen to be a happily married man thank you very much!

 

Aeris (thinking): How rude! I was trying to go for “cute” not “flirty”!

 

[Then Cloud slashes the barrel of the Soldier’s gun.]

 

Soldier: What the… hey you just sliced my gun in half!

 

Cloud: Would you prefer that I sliced off your arms or maybe I should slice off your head?

 

Soldier: Eh no you had the right idea in slicing my gun.

 

Barrett (pointing his gun hand on the Soldier): Trust me sucka you would’ve easily been a bloodstain on Spiky’s great big blade here but we got our reasons to keep you breathing… for now.

 

Soldier: Ah man a spiky-haired punk with an oversized blade, a large black man with a gun hand and some flower girl who talks like a prostitute. What am I going to do here?

 

Aeris: Talk like a Prostitute?! Hey! I did no such thing you sexist jerk! I was trying to go for the classical “Damsel in Distress” thank you very much!

 

Aeris (thinking): Ugh, maybe it’s a good thing that Tifa is not here with us, if this jerk is being so judgmental to me then there is no telling what he would say about her.

 

Barrett: Oh I know exactly what you can do sucka, you can tell us where to find Shinra’s Gas Chamber so we can rescue Tifa.

 

Soldier: Ti…fa?

 

Cloud: Don’t play dumb! We know very well that you guys have a woman by the name of Tifa Lockhart here in a Gas Chamber; Shinra practically advertised that fact before we stormed this place. Now talk!

 

Soldier: Tifa Lockhart… oh yeah that really sexy busty brunette babe who was running that place called “Seventh Heaven”? Ah yeah I remember now! Heh me and the guys know her as the “Triple D” when it comes to the Finest Booze in all of Midgar if you know what I mean. Heh heh…

 

Aeris: Eh excuse me sir but weren’t you talking about how you’re such a happily married man just moments ago?

 

Soldier: AH! Uh… uh… well you see uh… hey now missy how do you know that I wasn’t bluffing when I said that I’m a married man huh? Heh heh… *brief pause* *sigh* Okay I wasn’t bluffing.

 

Barrett: Wow you must be one lousy poker player.

 

Soldier: *sigh* Yeah that is true I haven’t won a single game in the break room at all.

 

Barrett: Yeah well if you don’t tell us what we need to know then your gambling & marital problems are the least of your worries sucka!

 

Cloud: Yeah, where is the Gas Chamber?! Now talk while you still have a head. We got to stop Shinra’s sick little TV Special.

 

Soldier: Oh didn’t you guys know, the Gas Chamber show is already over with. They did the gassing and got Miss Lockhart out of there.

 

Barrett: What in the…

 

Cloud: Tifa is… gone?

 

Aeris: *gasp* Oh no… we are too late! Oh poor Tifa…

 

Barrett: Grrrr… Alright you Shinra Lapdog, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t blow your head clean off from here!

 

Soldier: WAIT A MINUTE! Wait a minute; you people got it all wrong! One of the Shinra Higher-Ups told us that this “Gas Chamber show” is just a staged PR stunt.

 

Cloud: Staged PR Stunt? So this means that… Tifa is alive?

 

Soldier: Ah yeah we were told that this whole “Gas Chamber Show” was just some PR Stunt so Shinra could look really tough against Avalanche.

 

Barret: So Tifa’s public execution was just some “smoke and mirrors” dog & pony show? I dunno that sounds fishy…

 

Aeris: Well that would explain how Shinra would get away with advertising a Public Execution on TV, especially with someone who is a well-known small business owner.

 

Cloud: So Tifa’s public execution was just some faked elaborate distraction huh? Then they must be placing Tifa in one of Shinra’s Prison Cells, so let’s go!

 

Soldier: I don’t think that is the case…

 

Cloud: Hmm? How would you know?

 

Soldier: Because I was guarding the soldiers who were carrying Miss Lockhart’s unconscious body when they got her out of the chamber, it was under orders from one of the Higher-ups at Shinra.

 

Barrett: Yeah uh… since you’re being such a “Chatty Cathy” lately, mind telling us who exactly this “Shinra Higher-Up” is?

 

Soldier: Ah yeah it was that Blonde Babe in the red dress Miss Scarlett.

 

Barrett: Miss Scarlett?!

 

Soldier: Yeah Miss Scarlett ordered the other soldiers to take Miss Lockhart to her bedroom and she ordered us not to ask any questions. Though I admit I was thinking of an interesting question or two at the time. Heh heh…

 

Barrett: Wait… what?

 

Cloud: Yeah… what?

 

Aeris: Uh… So this lady by the name of Scarlett wants Tifa in her bedroom? Uh Barret do you have any idea why?

 

Barrett: I’m… not sure how to answer this question yet.

 

Barrett (thinking): Hmm… While I admit I did consider that the idea of one of them higher-ups at Shinra getting an interest in Tifa could be possible. But the higher-up in question is that nasty red-dressed skank Scarlett?  Okay I did not see that coming… however that being said there might be some other explanation over why Tifa is getting some “Private Time” with Scarlett but we should probably do a little bit more research on the subject here.

 

Cloud: Uh… c’mon guys Tifa is really well known as a great bartender, maybe this Scarlett lady really wants to have Tifa as a private Bartender? Maybe that is the reason why Tifa will be in Miss Scarlett’s bedroom tonight… right?

 

Barrett: Eh… yeah Spiky I’m… sure that is a possible reason why.

 

Aeris (thinking): Hmm… it looks like it’s up to me to be the one to rescue Tifa from this Scarlett lady’s clutches. After all if Tifa is going to go on a date with another woman then it should be me! *briefly shocked & blushing* Uh… and by that, I mean a… friendly casual play-date of course. Heh heh…

 

Barrett: Alright you two we should get out of here while we try to figure out where to find Tifa’s… new location and see what we are going to do when we get there.

 

Cloud: Understood.

 

Aeris: Right, *now looking at the Shinra Soldier* though as for you sir perhaps you should just let us go so we can be on our way?

 

Soldier: Oh yeah and what makes you think I would do such a thing huh?

 

Aeris: *giggle* Really sir, really? You are a lone soldier whose gun got sliced into scrap metal and you are facing the 3 of us. I don’t think the odds are in your favor sir. However on the other hand I suppose we could call your home as I have a nice chat with your wife on how you mistook me for a prostitute or the rather “Triple D” reasons why you are so fond of Seventh Heaven, hmm? 

 

Soldier: AH! Uh… uh… your right Miss there is really no point in me being here as I should pretend I didn’t see anyone, now I should be going, buh-bye!

 

Aeris: Buh-bye sir but before you go perhaps you should buy one of my flowers, you know as a little present for your dear wife?

 

Soldier: Good idea! I’ll buy a whole bunch!

 

Aeris: Splendid, thank you for your patronage good sir. *sinister giggle*

 

[Barrett and Cloud are now backing away from Aeris… slowly.]

 

(Scene 3)

 

[We are at Don Corneo’s place as one of Don’s henchmen Kotch is taking Aeris and a cross-dressing Cloud to a special room.]

 

Kotch: Alright I’ll be taking you fine ladies to a special room in which the Don will be taking a good look at you two. You will also be accompanied by a third lady who will be checked out by the Don as well.

 

Aeris: Third lady? Do you have any idea who this lady might be?

 

Kotch: I think the 3rd Lady’s name is Tifa and I did get to see her at least once and man did she look fine! This lady is a busty brunette in a sexy blue dress and I heard she is normally known as a bartender. I’ve heard from some of the guys that she is known as the “Triple D” of Sector Seven. But yeah I’m sure this lady will be very popular here.

 

Aeris (thinking): Triple D?

 

Cloud (thinking): Bartender?

 

Aeris & Cloud (thinking): Tifa!

 

Kotch: Hmm? Something the matter ladies, ah I see, you both are getting worried on how can you compete with someone like Miss Tifa huh? Not too worry ladies, while this Tifa gal may be known as one of the sexiest ladies in all of Midgar you two aren’t exactly lacking in looks either. So I’m sure you two will do just fine here.

 

Aeris: Uhh… thank you kindly sir.

 

Kotch: Hmm… You two seem kind of familiar… haven’t we met before?

 

Aeris: Uh… no, no of course not, isn’t that right?

 

Cloud: Uh… yes, yes of course not. Now please stop staring at me, it's very rude.

 

Kotch: Okay, but you two do seem pretty familiar.

 

Aeris: Well I’m sure you’ve seen all sorts of pretty faces here. Besides considering what kind of place this is I’m surprised that you would be looking at our faces, hmm?

 

Kotch: Heh, heh guilty as charged, alright ladies if you follow me this way.

 

[Now as Kotch gets Aeris & Cloud into a room and they quickly notice Tifa in the room.]

 

Kotch: Alright ladies feel free to mingle amongst yourselves while the Don will be seeing you three in just a little while, bye.

 

[Now as our heroes reunite after Kotch leaves the scene.]

 

Aeris: Tifa! We finally found you.

 

Tifa: Aeris, it’s good to see you, even in a place like this and… what the… is that… Cloud?

 

Cloud: Yes, yes I know, I have nailed the look you don’t need to tell me.

 

Tifa: Ehh… that is not quite what I was going to say… but sure. Anyways why are you dressed like this?

 

Cloud: *sigh* Alright well this wasn’t exactly my idea here.

 

Aeris: Yeah but you got to admit it is pretty funny.

 

Tifa: No it isn’t funny Aeris, I mean c’mon is this really necessary? Can’t you see how this is so humiliating to poor Cloud here?

 

Cloud: Yes and having to wear this ensemble was one thing but you wouldn’t believe what I had to do to get these clothes.

 

Aeris: Well of course it was necessary; I mean Cloud is pretty enough that he could pass as a girl. I mean what would you prefer to have Barrett wearing Cloud’s ensemble here?

 

[Now Cloud is picturing Barrett wearing the same dress & wig he is wearing now while doing a sexy pose and blowing a kiss.]

 

Cloud (highly disturbed): No, I would not… I… really… really would rather not.

 

Tifa: *sigh* Lets not get facetious here, I meant that you two could’ve just got back to Avalanche and regroup with them. In other words Jessie could’ve been the other girl to accompany you Aeris.

 

Aeris: Oh… uh… heh heh… why didn’t I think of that?

 

Cloud: Yes Aeris why didn’t you think of that?

 

Aeris: Eh come now Cloud it… it would’ve been a little too out of our way at the time.

 

Cloud: Please Aeris we were on our way back to Sector Seven before we had to make a detour to the Wall Market.

 

Aeris: Yes… but it would’ve made things go a bit slower, I mean doing things this way made getting to Tifa a lot quicker. After all you wouldn’t want to make Tifa wait around here a lot longer right?

 

Cloud: Well of course I would, I would gladly make Tifa wait around here a lot longer if it meant I didn’t have to wear this dress.

 

Aeris (thinking): Gladly? Wow Cloud, rude much? I know you are pretty dense before but this is a new low.

 

Tifa (thinking): Oh my hero… *sigh* Alright Cloud I get it your rather humiliated by this little ordeal here but you didn’t have to be so blunt about it.

 

Aeris: Okay Cloud we’ll take about your lack of sensitivity later but it sounds like someone is coming so places you two.

 

[Then the doors open and we see a portly man by the name of Don Corneo making his entrance.]

 

Don Corneo: Greetings ladies! It is I, Don Corneo, the Don of the Wall Market is here, and now lets see which lovely ladies we have here today.

 

[Now we see Don leering & pawing at Tifa in which she looks annoyed but tries to look away.]

 

Don Corneo: Oh my this Triple D Voluptuous Beauty is exquisite! Ah yes 92-60-88, one of my favorite sets of numbers. Oh yes this one is easily one of my top choices for tonight! Hah ha!

 

[Now Don is also leering at Aeris and lightly pawing at her in which she tries to make a patient but highly uneasy smile.]

 

Don Corneo: This one is not quite as perfect in shape but is still rather shapely nevertheless. Oh yes while Tifa definitely has a “womanly sex goddess” appeal you have more of a “sweet and demure maiden” appeal which is certainly good.

 

Don Corneo (standing in front of Cloud): Now this one on the other hand… Hmmm… It's strange on how you seem a bit thin compared to these two but yet… *gropes Cloud while sniffing his wig* there is something so… desirable about you my dear. Has anyone ever told you that you have such an exquisite taste in perfume my dear?

 

[As one of Cloud’s eyes twitches in annoyance, Don Corneo suddenly hears a loud knocking on the door.]

 

Don Corneo: What in the… oh this better be important, alright come in.

 

[Then Don Corneo’s henchmen Skotch & Kotch come storming in the room looking a little panic-stricken.]

 

Scotch & Kotch: DON CORNEO! DON CORNEO!

 

Don Corneo: Scotch & Kotch? Ugh, you two know better than to barge in and interrupt me when I am about to decide on who will be my lady tonight. So this better be important!

 

Scotch: Oh trust us sir this is very important!

 

Kotch: Yeah sir we’ve just received a report that one of Shinra’s higher-ups is here to see you sir!

 

Don Corneo: One of the higher-ups at Shinra? Oh my, this is quite important but I wonder who could it be? Palmer, I mean I do see him at the Honey Bee Inn every now & then… Oh maybe it’s President Shinra himself! Ah yes I’ve heard that he has done his fair share of whore-mongering, not as much as yours truly of course but still.

 

Scotch: Actually sir, we’ve been told that the Shinra Higher-up in question is Lady Scarlett sir.

 

Don Corneo: Lady Scarlett? Really, this is a rather bit odd, interesting but odd.

 

Kotch: Yeah but she is here sir, in fact she is coming this way sir.

 

Don Corneo: Well don’t just stand there you two oafs, let the lady in!

 

Scotch & Kotch: Yes sir!

 

[Then Scarlett struts in making her entrance.]

 

Don Corneo: Ah Lady Scarlett it is a pleasure to see a beauty like you here in my humble abode, so what do I owe the pleasure?

 

Scarlett: Greetings Don, I have heard stories about some of your businesses here namely how you have had some of the finest ladies in all of Midgar and it has piqued my interest.

 

Don Corneo: Piqued your interest? Hmm… Oh I get it Miss Scarlett, you wish to potentially be one of my ladies for pleasure tonight huh? Well with someone as sexy as you it would be an absolute pleasure… *Scarlett plants her foot on Don’s throat* ACK!

 

Scarlett (left eye twitching): Let's get one thing straight you vulgar bloated toad, I never said I wanted to be your lady tonight I said I wanted to see your ladies tonight, do I make myself clear?

 

Don Corneo (being choked by Scarlett’s foot): Ack… C… Crystal, Milady, now could you please let me go?

 

Scarlett: Very well.

 

Don Corneo (panting): My… apologies for the misunderstanding milady but may I ask… why?

 

Scarlett: Why? Well I suppose I can tell you why I am here. Oh despite my ravishing good looks I am having a hard time finding a man who can truly satisfy me. The majority of men here in Midgar are either doddering old fools, men who value their careers more than anything else and vulgar degenerates like you and your lackeys Don. So I figured if I can’t find a man who can satisfy me than perhaps this requires a woman’s touch. After all I have been considered a goddess of beauty, and who would be better to bed a goddess than a fellow goddess?

 

Don Corneo: Well I have to admit that logic is fairly sound…

 

Scarlett: Yes, besides even if I really wanted to go for a Male Escort it would do me little good as there is hardly any market here in Midgar that has men for pleasure… well for women that is.

 

Don Corneo: True… however Lady Scarlett rest assured that the Male Escort market is not… completely nonexistent here. After all if anything I’m the #1 Male Escort here in the Wall Market, so I’m all the man you’ll need baby!

 

Scarlett: Don Corneo, if you know what is good for you then you will not cross me again, after all you wouldn’t want to be known as someone who defied someone as prominent as me, right?

 

Don Corneo: OF COURSE NOT! I… I would never do such a thing! My apologies milady, who am I to deny you such a request, please I have a few ladies here in this room, feel free to see which one is to your liking madam.

 

Scarlett: That’s better… Hmm…

 

[Now Scarlett is taking a good look at Cloud and is a bit surprised at what she sees.]

 

Scarlett: What in the… Don, what is going on here?

 

Don Corneo: Is something wrong milady? This Blond lady here has a rather alluring perfume and outfit.

 

Scarlett: Yes that is all fine & good Don but there is something about this one that is rather… suspicious.

 

[Now suddenly Aeris looks really nervous as Cloud looks irritated & nervous while Tifa rolls her eyes at Aeris then is lightly glaring at her.]

 

Don Corneo: Su… Suspicious, what do you mean milady?

 

Scarlett: Isn’t it obvious Don? This one has been fidgeting and looking rather embarrassed this whole time. And now looking at this alleged lady’s face and frame I am seeing a lack of femininity here. Well Don if I didn’t know any better it seems like someone is pulling a fast one on you.

 

Don Corneo: What?! Of course someone is not pulling a fast one on me and is actually a man in drag here… *gulp* At least I hope not.

 

Kotch: Say Scotch is it just me or does the blonde girl and that lady in the red dress seem a little familiar to you?

 

Scotch: Now that you mention it Kotch, yeah those two do kind of seem familiar.

 

Don Corneo: Alright what are you two mumbling about over there?

 

Aeris: WAIT A MINUTE! Uh excuse me Ms. Scarlett uh of course my friend uh…Claudia here is so not a man! She may not be quite as curvy as the three of us but that doesn’t make her any less of a lady… right?

 

Cloud (thinking): Claudia? Okay Aeris why did you name me after my mother?

 

Aeris: And as for why Claudia here has been looking so embarrassed by scowling a lot is… well… you have to excuse her, she is normally not dolled up like this. Yeah she… is normally quite the tomboyish one and normally doesn’t like doing anything girly, yeah that is totally it.

 

Cloud: Yes and besides Miss Scarlett not every woman has mountainous advantages like you, so there.

 

Scarlett: Mountainous Advantages? Oh ho ho, oh guilty as charged! Oh it’s been a while since the last time I saw a young lady be jealous of my voluptuous physique. Very well I suppose I will drop the issue for now. But that being said, Claudia is still not exactly all that ladylike so I will have to pass. Now as for you little lady…

 

Aeris (Scarlett is fondling her breasts): Eep!

 

Scarlett: Hmm… these are… decent but a bit small compared to me, however…

 

[Scarlett is now fondling Aeris’ hips.]

 

Scarlett: To be fair these hips are pretty good though, still you are a bit on the dainty side there dear. Let me guess, you are the type who would rather cuddle with someone at night?

 

Aeris: Well I suppose the thought has crossed my mind every now & then.

 

Scarlett: Oh how adorable, let me guess dear you’ve never done anything more than hand-holding?

 

Aeris: Hey there Miss Scarlett, ever heard of the old phrase “never judge a book by its cover”? I can be very good at being friendly with the guys; I even used to have a thing with a guy from SOLDIER thank you very much.

 

Scarlett: Oh is that so, perhaps you do have some potential since your not as sickeningly sweet as I thought. However… *now Scarlett has her sights set on Tifa* you on the other hand, you are absolutely gorgeous.

 

[Scarlett gets closer to Tifa feeling her arms and her parts of her dress.]

 

Scarlett: Oh yes your skin feels nice & soft as your dress feels so silky smooth. Ah yes not only do you have an incredible body but your fashion sense is impeccable. Tell me dear, what is your name?

 

Tifa: I… I am Tifa Lockhart, I’m normally a bartender at Seventh Heaven and I make some of the finest beer, wine and spirits in Midgar.

 

Scarlett: Oooooh so you can make some of the finest wines and spirits in Midgar? Ah oh Tifa as if you weren’t already so incredibly sexy that makes you even more desirable.  Mmmmm… Oh yes…

 

[Now Scarlett is making out with Tifa while embracing her for a few moments then Scarlett gets behind Tifa necking her. Scarlett passionately necks Tifa while her right hand fondles Tifa’s breasts and her left hand goes between Tifa’s legs making Tifa moan in the process.]

 

Cloud (eyes bulging in shock): Whoa…

 

Don Corneo (mesmerized): Amazing…

 

Scotch & Kotch (nodding): Uh-huh uh huh.

 

Aeris (thinking): Okay this is getting a bit weird; it’s a little surprising that Tifa would be so okay with letting another woman seduce her so much like this.

 

[Then Aeris remembers a little something she heard Cloud say just moments ago.]

 

Cloud: Well of course I would, I would gladly make Tifa wait around here a lot longer if it meant I didn’t have to wear this dress.

 

Aeris (thinking): Then again maybe it’s not that surprising… *sigh* Oh Cloud…

 

Scarlett: Ah… oh my I practically almost lost control there, well Don I have made my decision; I will definitely be having Miss Lockhart be my woman for tonight. I trust that you will have no objections to this?

 

Don Corneo: Oh certainly not, I would be delighted to let you two ladies be intimate in fact may I recommend a fantastic suite that would be ideal for your night of passion.

 

Scarlett: Why that does sound delightful, come along dear.

 

Tifa (embracing Scarlett): Oh yes with pleasure.

 

Don Corneo (opening a door): Splendid, well right this way, ladies, the suite is behind that door with the hearts on it at the end of the hall. You can’t miss it.

 

Scarlett: Thank you kindly Don, rest assured you will be given a generous payment in the near future.

 

Don Corneo: Oh I certainly look forward to that, now you ladies have your fun, buh-bye for now. *Scarlett & Tifa leave the scene then Don approaches his henchmen Kotch & Scotch* Alright you two, come with me for a little business meeting out in the hall.

 

Scotch & Kotch: Yes sir.

 

[Now as Don Corneo and his henchmen are out in the hallway.]

 

Don Corneo: Alright boys I just got the most brilliant business plan. That suite that I sent Miss Scarlett and Tifa to has surveillance cameras, very highly quality cameras that are HD and in 4K. I normally use those cameras when I get it on with the ladies for posterity. However since this room will have two extraordinary beauties getting it on, for a change of pace, gives me an idea. Namely I will release the footage of Miss Scarlett and Tifa, two of Midgar’s most voluptuous beauties in a steamy hot sex tape. Why this footage will make me one of the richest men in Midgar in no time! AHAHAHAHA!

 

Kotch: That is a brilliant idea boss! I know I would pay good money to see a sex tape like that.

 

Scotch: Uh… say uh… guys, don’t get me wrong I would love to see a Scarlett & Tifa sex tape as much as the next guy of course. But… wouldn’t Miss Scarlett get really mad if we made a bunch of money off of a sex tape starring her if she ever found out?

 

Don Corneo: AH! Oh drat that is a valid point… Hmmm… Ah… no matter, I could try to make a little deal with Miss Scarlett to give her a good cut of the profits. After all Miss Scarlett is more than just lots of sex appeal I’ve heard that she is quite the businesswoman within Shinra. Sure it may cut down on my profits a bit but I’m sure Miss Scarlett can see the sheer money-making potential here.  

 

Scotch: Well I suppose that makes sense.

 

Kotch: Yeah I’m sure that the boss is right that Miss Scarlett wouldn’t mind as long as she gets a cut in the sales.

 

Don Corneo: Splendid, I’m glad you agree, anyways boys you two can take the other two ladies while I will be heading over into my office and watch that footage and… enjoy the show.

 

Kotch: Nice! I always love this part.

 

Scotch: Wait a minute boss; you aren’t going to pick a lady to bed tonight?

 

Don Corneo: Well Scotch since I’m in such a good mood I will admit that is a fair question. Normally I wouldn’t be in my office alone at a time like this but if I will be selling this sex tape then I will be the first viewer if you know what I mean. While part of me may mourn the fact that I am not in there with those two ladies getting it on but even I can make a sacrifice or two every now & then.

 

Kotch: Ah yeah you know maybe we should give the fine ladies that come here a chance to get in bed with each-other if they don’t want to get it on with the Don. I’m sure we can get plenty of more sex tapes that way.

 

Scotch: Good idea Kotch, I’m sure there are plenty of ladies who would rather go for doing each-other than the Don.

 

Don Corneo (left eye twitching): And what is that supposed to mean you two?

 

Kotch: AH! Uh… Nothing sir!

 

Scotch: Yeah… uh… uh… what we meant sir is that well… there are plenty of guys in Wall Market who are into… other guys as you know. For all we know maybe there are plenty of ladies who are into other ladies here, you know what I mean?

 

Don Corneo: Hmm… that is true, this could be quite the market to tap into, and I should make a note of this.

 

Kotch & Scotch: *phew*

 

Don Corneo: Alright boys I will be off to my office and, let’s just say, enjoying the show so don’t wait up for me. You two boys can go off and have your fun.

 

Kotch & Scotch: Yes sir!

 

[Meanwhile a short while later at a different part of Don Corneo’s residence, Cloud is seen in his regular outfit as he and Aeris have fought off the Don’s henchmen. Now they are trying to split up and see if they can find Don Corneo anywhere but now they have met up in one of the hallways.]

 

Cloud: Alright Aeris did you find Corneo yet?

 

Aeris: I’m afraid not.

 

Cloud: Okay have you at least found Tifa yet?

 

Aeris (nervously twiddling her thumbs): Uh… I think she is probably still pretty preoccupied with that lady Miss Scarlett.

 

[Now we get a brief cutaway scene of Aeris looking through a window near the bedroom where Scarlett is having sex with Tifa.]

 

Tifa (os): Ohhh… oh… oh Scarlett…

 

[Now we are back to seeing Cloud & Aeris in the hallway.]

 

Cloud: Really? How can you tell?

 

[Aeris has a slightly uneasy look on her face while blushing. Now we cut back to Aeris at the window nearby the bedroom where Scarlett & Tifa are having sex and is not entirely sure what to do as she tries to look away.]

 

Scarlett (os): Oh yes… oh… Lockhart, give me more…. more… ah…

 

[Now we cut back to Cloud and a rather nervous Aeris twiddling her thumbs.]

 

Aeris: Uhh… call it a lucky hunch.

 

Cloud: Hmm? Oh… oh right, well I suppose Tifa can join us later but first we got to find Don Corneo.

 

Aeris (sighing, under her breath): So much for my date with Tifa…

 

Cloud: Hmm? You say something Aeris?

 

Aeris: Oh it’s uh… nothing Cloud! Yeah… nothing… eh hah ha… *ahem* anyways yes your right Cloud now is the time we focus on taking down that creep Don so let's go!

 

[Now we are in the bedroom where Scarlett and Tifa were having sex in as they are now cuddling in bed together.]

 

Scarlett: Ah yes… oh Tifa you were wonderful.

 

Tifa: Thank you… I… I always wanted to be with someone like this…

 

Scarlett: Oh really? How… odd, I mean one would think that someone as beautiful as you can easily bed just about anyone.

 

Tifa: Yes well… there was a guy I was really interested in recently but he… he kept ignoring me. I admit I still feel a little… conflicted about this.

 

Scarlett: Really? Oh Tifa if that man is so willing to ignore someone as gorgeous as you then quite frankly he doesn’t deserve someone like you. So please Tifa don’t let this man give you anymore heartache as you clearly don’t deserve it.

 

Tifa: You know what… your right… I don’t deserve anymore heartache… thank you.

 

Scarlett: You are quite welcome my dear. In fact since I’m in such a generous mood, I will even be giving your “Seventh Heaven” a hefty donation.

 

Tifa: Really?

 

Scarlett: Ah yes, supporting a popular small business like yours can be a very good PR move and I do love to get a fine selection of wine & spirits. So in other words this can be very beneficial for the both of us.

 

[Then Tifa gets on top of Scarlett hugging her.]

 

Tifa: Oh thank you!

 

Scarlett: You are quite welcome dear, besides if I’m your sponsor I can also get some of your finest drinks from you every now & then, among other things.

 

Tifa (seductive gaze): Ah yes I think I know what you mean Scarlett, speaking of which… *gives Scarlett a brief but passionate kiss* how about let's get started on Round 2, I’ll take the lead this time.

 

Scarlett: Ohh… someone is being naughty tonight, I love it, well then lead away…

 

Tifa: With pleasure… *as she is now necking Scarlett and fondling her breasts*

 

Scarlett (thinking): Ah yes… though if I remember correctly Miss Tifa Lockhart here is actually one of the members of that Avalanche group… well if that is true then one way or another I can use this to my advantage…

 

(Scene 4)

 

[We are now at Nibelheim in which we see Cloud Strife, Zack Fair and Sephiroth in town.]

 

Zack: So this is Nibelheim, nice place, say if I remember correctly this is your hometown here right Cloud? So Cloud how is it like being in your old hometown?

 

Cloud: It’s kind of nice I guess I do have my fair share of memories here… not all of them were good ones.

 

Zack: I see… but I’m sure that implies that you have good memories here… right?

 

Cloud: I… suppose that is true…

 

Zack: Exactly!

 

Sephiroth: Say uh Cloud I have a… question to ask you, what is it like, to have a hometown?

 

Cloud: Uh… I suppose it could be nice I guess… but why would you ask a question like that? Don’t you have a home town Sephiroth?

 

Sephiroth: I… wouldn’t know if I ever had one.

 

Zack: Well come to think of it Cloud Ol’ Seph doesn’t really talk about his past all that much.

 

Sephiroth: *sigh* That is because there is really nothing to tell, I… don’t remember much of anything before I became a part of SOLDIER.

 

Cloud: Oh… I’m sorry to hear that Sephiroth.

 

Zack: Yeah, sorry to hear that Seph.

 

Zack (thinking): Wow I almost forgot how you two can be such Debbie Downers, no wonder why we don’t go on Road trips all that much. Hmm… Now let’s see what I can do to lighten the mood here.

 

Zack: Wow this place is really nice and it has plenty of people here for sure, shame I couldn’t bring Aeris here, she can probably sell a whole bunch of flowers here.

 

Cloud: Hmm? Aeris, who’s that?

 

Zack: Oh Aeris is a sweet fine lady who is let's just say a more than occasional acquaintance of mine.

 

[Now we look at a Dream Sequence with Zack and Aeris as they embrace in Sector 5.]

 

Aeris: Oh Zack it is so good to see you again.

 

Zack: Likewise Milady, likewise.

 

[Now we see a scene where Zack and Aeris are sitting at a flower field at night.]

 

Aeris: Oh Zack, this is soothing & relaxing to be out here like this.

 

Zack: Ah yes Aeris this is nice & relaxing, but how about we go back to your flower field to do a little something a bit more… exhilarating. ;)

 

Aeris: Oh that sounds so naughty Zack, I love it. Oh please do carry me good sir.

 

Zack: With pleasure Milady, with pleasure.

 

[Now we are back in the present as Cloud and Sephiroth seem to be pondering.]

 

Cloud (thinking): I suppose I can believe the 1st part but did the 2nd part actually happen?  Hmmm…

 

Sephiroth (thinking): Aeris? Hmmm… didn’t I once meet with a young lady by that name or was it Aerith? Oh well, I’ve bedded so many women during my time in SOLDIER I guess it’s kind of inevitable that I don’t always remember their names.

 

Sephiroth: Alright you two, listen up, I have been informed that we will be having a Tour Guide here with us. This young lady was born & raised here and is trained in the Zangan Martial Arts and is quite knowledgeable about these parts, she should be here momentarily.

 

[Then Tifa Lockhart struts into the scene in her cowgirl attire greeting the boys.]

 

Tifa: Hey there boys, the name is Lockhart, Tifa Lockhart and I’ll be your Tour Guide today.

 

Cloud (thinking): Tifa is that you? Wow you’ve… grown quite a lot since we were kids.

 

Zack (under his breath): Ooooh hello Sexy Cowgirl, hmm, she can ride my raging bull anytime.

 

Sephiroth (under his breath): Agreed Zack, agreed.

 

Tifa: Well word on the street is that some big shots from SOLDIER are paying this humble little town a visit.

 

Zack: You’ve heard right milady *ahem* Well Miss Sexy Cowgirl the name is Fair, Zack Fair, Licensed to Thrill. I happen to be a part of SOLDIER 1st Class.

 

Tifa: 1st Class huh? Hmm… sounds impressive.

 

Zack: It sure is milady, say Miss Lockhart I can’t help but admire your fine Cowgirl attire. Tell me have you ever got on the saddle before?

 

Tifa: Saddle? Oh I’ve occasionally dabbled but I’d rather grapple a beast than ride it.

 

Zack: Interesting… Hmm… Wait a minute… I just remembered something, Tifa Lockhart… hey Cloud isn’t that the name of the girl from your hometown here that you told me about before?

 

Cloud: Well… yeah…

 

Tifa: Cloud… Cloud Strife? Oh yes I remember you now, you were one of the boys from this town here who used to hang out with me when I was a little girl. Ah yes if I remember correctly Cloud you once told me that you wanted to be a part of SOLDIER right? Did you get to join?

 

Cloud: Ehh… not… quite.

 

Tifa: Not quite?

 

Zack: Well he is a soldier but not quite SOLDIER material yet, but he could be. I mean my little buddy Cloud here gets to go on missions with 1st Class Big-shots like yours truly so that must mean something right Ms. Lockhart?

 

Tifa: I suppose that is true, still it’s nice to see you again Cloud.

 

Cloud: Uh yeah… you too.

 

Zack: Ah yes Ms. Lockhart, my bud Cloud has told me about you as one of his happier memories of his hometown and I can see why. Oh Cloud you are a lucky fella it must be nice having a shapely young beauty like Ms. Lockhart here waiting for you in your home town huh?

 

Cloud: Well I uh…

 

Tifa: Uh excuse me Zack, I don’t know what Cloud told you but it’s starting to sound a little presumptuous. Yes I know Cloud, well sort of; he was just one of the boys I sometimes get to meet while we were kids back then. I mean we hung out every now & then but I don’t know him all that well, so if anything we were just acquaintances really.

 

Cloud: Yeah… it’s true.

 

Zack: Ohh… I see… *under his breath* Awkward…

 

Tifa: It's okay Zack, I’m sure you meant well.

 

Zack: That is true… *ahem* Eh what I mean is, my apologies for the misunderstanding Miss Lockhart.

 

Tifa: So tell me Zack, is there a lady waiting for you back at your home, hmm?

 

Zack: Well I…

 

[Now we take a look into Zack’s Psyche as we see Aeris directly looking at the Camera while in her Flower Field in Sector 5.]

 

Aeris: Oh Zaaaack, you wouldn’t dare think of ditching me for some busty brunette bimbo cowgirl you met in another town right? *sinister cutesy giggle*

 

[Now we see Zack suddenly looking rather terrified.]

 

Zack: Uh… NO OF COURSE NOT MA’AM! I WOULD NEVER, HONEST!

 

[And now everyone else is somewhat baffled by Zack’s sudden shift in behavior here.]

 

Sephiroth: Uh… Zack who are you talking to?

 

Zack: Oh uh… it’s nothing Sephiroth, absolutely… uh… nothing eh heh heh.

 

Cloud: Ah yeah I remember now, hey Zack didn’t you tell us earlier that you know of a girl by the name of Aer… *muffled*

 

Zack: Eh heh heh Cloud, buddy, pal, th… this nice young lady here does not need to know of my backstory. Uh… what I mean is, I… I wouldn’t know of a girl in my hometown per say… eh heh heh…

 

Tifa: *sigh* Okay I think I’ve heard enough. How about we end this little song & dance before it gets nasty pal. Seriously the last thing I want is another girl to come after me calling me some slutty whore just because her jackass boyfriend cheated on her by trying to score with me. Do you have any idea how many times that has happened? So sorry slick, but keep that big long sword of yours sheathed okay? Alright I admit I may not be the most prudent gal around here but I am nobody’s mistress okay, are we clear on that Slick?

 

Zack Eh Crystal Ma’am, eh I mean duly noted ma’am.

 

Tifa: Good.

 

Sephiroth: Please excuse my cohort’s behavior milady, he isn’t always in his best behavior around fair ladies like you.

 

Tifa (blushing): Oh wow you are quite the sturdy tall drink there good sir and who might you be?

 

Sephiroth: Oh yes of course where are my manners… *ahem* Greetings Ms. Lockhart I am none other than Sephiroth, it’s a pleasure to meet you milady. *kisses Tifa’s hand*

 

Tifa (flustered): Oh the pleasure is all mine good sir *eager giggle* Wow you are huge… I mean you are such a large and sturdy man.

 

Sephiroth (while doing a little bit of flexing): Why thank you kindly milady I am rather large, though you are rather large yourself milady, well up top that is. ;)

 

Zack (rolling his eyes, thinking): Tch, figures that Sephiroth would get away with that line. I can rarely get away with that line without getting slapped.

 

Tifa: Oh yes good sir, guilty as charged, I normally don’t brag about this but I’m well known as one of the most top-heavy beauties around. But rest assured Sephiroth I’m much more than just a pretty face and a fine body I can be quite the fighter as well.

 

Sephiroth: Ah yes that is one thing we have in common milady; after all I’ve heard that you are one of Master Zangan’s finest students.

 

Tifa: You’ve heard right, I’m not only one of his skilled students but I am rather strong as well. Mr. Sephiroth, that is a nice long blade you have on you, may I hold it for a bit?

 

Sephiroth: My sword? With all due respect Miss Lockhart but I’m not sure if that is wise, do not get me wrong I’m sure you are quite capable of course. However this blade is very large and very heavy as it was a custom designed sword for me. Are you sure you are up to this?

 

Tifa: Oh I’m sure, I may not have your height there Sephy but I’m not exactly lacking in strength either.

 

Sephiroth: Very well then.

 

Tifa: Alright boys watch and you will be amazed.

 

[Then Tifa gets into a battle stance with Sephiroth’s sword, then she makes a few slashes while making a few kicks then does a few more stylish slashes and parries. Tifa finishes the exhibition with making a stylish seductive pose with Sephiroth’s sword.]

 

Tifa: Oh yes the craftsmanship on this blade is divine *slowly licks the sword’s blade* Hmm...

 

Cloud (mouth gaping in shock): Whoa…

 

Zack: Nice…

 

Sephiroth (devious grin): Impressive, most impressive.

 

Tifa (as she gives the sword back to Sephiroth): How do you like that little show there boys? While as a Martial Artist I normally favor using my hands and feet. But as you all noticed I know how to swing a big blade around too.

 

Sephiroth: I see, well I must say Miss Lockhart your skills are quite impeccable.

 

Tifa: Why thank you good sir and while yes I may be quite the beautiful maiden but this damsel can battle too even in distress. Of course that being said it is wonderful to have a big strong heroic man like you around.

 

Sephiroth: Oh but of course Ms. Lockhart after all we members of SOLDIER are practically the knights of Midgar, and what is more knightley than to aid a beautiful maiden such as yourself milady? Of course that being said I acknowledge your skills and strength Ms. Lockhart. After all, while many men go through their lives seeking a Princess to save, I on the other hand am willing to find a Queen to fight with.

 

Tifa (flustered): Oh my… you really know how to talk to a lady, good sir.

 

Sephiroth: Naturally, so my dear perhaps we shall go to somewhere a little private to discuss our plans for the mission.     

 

Tifa: Ah yes I would be delighted to good sir.

 

Sephiroth: Splendid, then let us be off milady, alright you two don’t wait up on me now.

 

Cloud (thinking): Wait what just happened?

 

Zack (thinking): Tch, show off.

 

[A little later on that night Cloud is nearby a door as he is hearing a bunch of moaning from Tifa coming from inside.]

 

Cloud: Is that… Tifa? What could she be doing there? Well she did say that she is a Martial Artist so she is probably doing a bunch of physical training in there. I wonder what kind of training she does at night.

 

[Then Cloud opens the door and turns on the light to find Tifa in bed with Sephiroth. In which needless to say Cloud is shocked as is Tifa who is now covering her breasts while Sephiroth is only looking mildly annoyed.]

 

Cloud: Tifa?! SEPHIROTH?!

 

Tifa: Cloud?! What are you doing here?!

 

Sephiroth: *sigh* Do you mind Cloud; I’m in the middle of pleasuring Miss Lockhart here so please leave, now.

 

Cloud: O… okay.

 

[Then as Cloud leaves the scene while turning the lights off, Tifa feels slightly uneasy.]

 

Tifa: Aw now I kind of feel bad for Cloud now.

 

Sephiroth: It's alright milady, Cloud seems to be rather fond of me as he has a more than slight tendency to follow me around like he was some lost puppy. Normally I try to be patient with him but sometimes he can be a little clingy.

 

Sephiroth (thinking): I must be slipping; I’m usually pretty good at making sure Cloud doesn’t barge in when I’m getting it on with another woman.

 

Tifa: Yeah if I remember correctly he was like that with me when we were kids as well.

 

Sephiroth: Yes so I’m sure he will be alright Miss Lockhart, as for you my dear, now where were we?

 

[Moments later outside of the room Sephiroth & Tifa are in Zack strolls into the scene noticing Cloud squatting nearby.]

 

Zack: Hey there Cloud, I’m surprised you’re not with your ol’ Gal-pal Tifa. Oh wait I almost forgot that she and Sephiroth are somewhere else going over our plans for the mission. I wonder how that is going… *Zack is now hearing Tifa moaning in pleasure from a nearby room* Well… that answers my question, wow Sephiroth works quick and I thought I had game with the ladies.

 

[Now Zack notices Cloud again and slightly feels uneasy.]

 

Zack: Ooooh… tough break there Cloud, but hey I’ve heard a lot of stories from the other guys back in base that this is far from the first time Sephiroth is off screwing around with a local lady just before a mission. I mean like Sephiroth doesn’t give the rest of us enough reasons to be jealous of him huh?

 

Cloud (thinking): Tifa and Sephiroth… oh Sephiroth how could you? I… I thought we had something special.

 

Zack: Though if those two are getting it on nearby, I wonder if I can at least go get a peek.

 

Cloud: Peek? What do you mean by that?

 

Aeris (in Zack’s Mind): Yes Zack, what do you mean by “peek”, hmm?

 

Zack: AH! NOTHING MA’AM!

 

Cloud: Ma’am? Zack who are you talking to?

 

Zack (under his breath): *phew* Good thing those two didn’t hear me.

 

Zack: Eh nothing Cloud, nothing, eh did I say “peek” I meant walk as in let's walk on out of here. C’mon Cloud you should probably head back into your old home, okay?

 

Cloud: Okay

 

Zack: Good now let's go.

 

[A short while later, we are now in the Strife residence as Cloud is now in his old childhood room sulking in his bed in which he is now being approached by his mother.]

 

Claudia: Cloud, are you still feeling down?

 

Cloud: Yes Mother…

 

Claudia: Well Cloud your SOLDIER friend Zack told me all the details over why you are here sulking. Apparently your other friend Sephiroth and that girl Tifa are having a good time nearby. Trust me son you are not the only one who is getting a little upset here. After all that Sephiroth was giving me a good time just the other week. *sigh* Figures, a fine young man like him shows up and gives me a great night of passion and a week later he is now fooling around with someone a lot younger & curvier. Ugh, typical man…

 

Cloud (thinking): Tifa and… my mother?! *whimper* Sephiroth you whore, you dirty filthy whore! How could you toy with my feelings like that you silver-maned slut!

 

Claudia: But I guess I can’t blame Sephiroth for wanting some action with that Tifa girl, after all she is great in bed… or so I’ve heard. *under her breath* Well at least she has a lot more stamina than that father of hers.

 

Cloud (thinking): Mother?

 

Claudia: Still I wonder if Sephiroth & Tifa are up for a threesome, oh sorry son I would offer you to join in but… all things considered that might come off as a bit too… awkward to say the least.

 

Cloud (disturbed): Eh… yes Mother that would be true. Uh Mother let us pretend this conversation never happened.

 

Claudia: Will do, good night son.

 

Cloud: Good night Mother.

 

[Meanwhile a little later on that night in the streets of Nibelheim Zack is taking a little stroll by himself on the street.]

 

Zack (thinking): Ah what a lovely night to have a little stroll, shame I’m doing it by myself. When we first got here I kind of wished that I was able to bring Aeris along but now I’m starting to figure that maybe it was for the best that I didn’t. Note to self do not introduce Aeris to Sephiroth, the last thing I want is for Sephiroth to try to give Aeris a good penetrating… *brief pause* Okay why did I get this strong sudden sense of dread just now? Wait a minute… didn’t Aeris once told me that she once met a tall guy with long silvery hair?  Okay I probably should not be over-thinking this…

 

[Then Zack hears a few faint noises nearby.]

 

Zack: Hmm? Is somebody nearby?

 

[Now at a nearby dark alley, Professor Hojo, Shinra’s Mad Scientist is seen looking at the Nibel Mako Reactor from a distance.]

 

Hojo: Yes, as soon as Sephiroth returns from his mission at the Mako Reactor then that is when the carnage shall truly begin. *low sinister laugh*

 

Zack (os): Oh hello there Professor Hojo.

 

Hojo; AH! Who are you?! What are you doing here?! How long were you standing there?!

 

Zack: Whoa easy there Prof, I’m Zack Fair, one of the 1st Class members of SOLDIER. Now if it’s alright for me to ask what are you doing here?

 

Hojo: I… I… I sometimes take little strolls to clear my mind after doing several hours of research. As you can tell my job can be rather… stressful.

 

Zack: I see… well I can’t blame you sir, I’m kind of doing the same thing as well.

 

Hojo: Hmm… Zack Fair, I remember now you are one of the officers who were assigned to accompany Sephiroth in his mission here in Nibelheim. So why are you still here, have you all completed your mission yet?

 

Zack: Eh… actually it’s funny that you should mention that Professor Hojo since… well… actually sir we haven’t even started yet.

 

Hojo: What?! Oh of all the… I can’t believe this complete lack of professionalism here… *as he tries to calm down* Officer, listen to me and listen to me well. You are ordered to go remind Sephiroth that you all should’ve begun your mission hours ago and do so immediately. Do I make myself clear Officer?

 

Zack: Eh… crystal sir, but I’m afraid this may have to wait until tomorrow as Sephiroth is not exactly available right now.

 

Hojo (left eye twitching, gritting his teeth): And why is that officer?

 

Zack: Well you see sir Sephiroth is kind of busy getting it on with that fine young lady who was hired to be our Tour Guide. So yeah Sephiroth is going to be pretty preoccupied for now if you know what I mean.

 

Hojo: Ohh… I see…

 

Hojo (thinking): Of course that I should’ve been more careful in whom I hire for a Tour Guide. Still I guess I can’t be too cross with Sephiroth after all I have had my fair share of action in Nibelheim too. Well at least Sephiroth got something from me. Still part of me wonders if I should sterilize Sephiroth so he can stay focused on his missions. Then again Sephiroth could potentially provide me with an abundant surplus of genetic material & specimens for my research. Hmmm…  

 

Zack: Ah yes Sephiroth is not only one of SOLDIER’s strongest fighters but he is also SOLDIER’s most successful ladies man apparently. *under his breath* Well at least I’m a close second.

 

Hojo: I see… Wait a minute I just realized something, that young lady who was hired to be your tour guide isn’t she only 15?

 

Zack: Really, are you sure about that Prof? Because Tifa did look a little bit older than that, well she certainly is well-developed for her age then.

 

Hojo: That is true, very true, though even if that is true I suppose it matters little since these country towns tend to have fairly lenient statutory laws. And if it’s really necessary I could always just retcon that little detail, wouldn’t be the first time I did something like that. In fact I often alter a lot of details in my reports about Nibelheim here on a regular basis.

 

Zack: Retcon? Uh Professor Hojo, sir, what are you talking about?

 

Hojo: AH… uh… Never you mind! *tries to calm down* Excuse me officer, I should be heading back to my lab now.

 

Zack: Okay but… sir, before you go may I ask you a question?

 

Hojo: Very well officer, what is it?

 

Zack: Well sir before we met up with Ms. Lockhart, Sephiroth was telling us that he has no memory about what his life was like before SOLDIER and he was sounding a little bummed out about it. Any chance you can help Sephiroth jog a few memories there sir?

 

Hojo (thinking): Well Sephiroth would’ve been learning some things if you imbeciles were a bit more punctual.

 

Hojo: Officer Fair while yes I am a scientist but I am a chemist, not a therapist so this is not in my field of expertise. Still I suppose there is something I could do for Sephiroth, now be off with you, and go.

 

Zack (as he is walking away): Alright well good night sir.

 

Hojo: Yes, yes good night officer.

 

[Now that Zack has left the scene.]

 

Hojo: Hmm… Note to self, make sure that this specimen doesn’t know too much.

 

THE END