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Until We Meet Again

Chapter Text

Everything was silent, except for the rain and the ever so present thunder. Water drops were hitting the ground. In the room, on the top floor of the eight-story building, two young boys were sitting on a wet couch, embracing each other, trying not to make any sound. The younger boy the other sobbed, leaning on the older boy's chest.

"It doesn't matter what happens, everything will be fine." he comforted the taller boy while leaning against him, though his own heart wept in agony.

"Don't Leave In." whispered a voice.

"Shhh ... we have to stay together, Korn," the younger voice continued, embracing his love tightly with both of his arms.

It was a forbidden love, both of them opposed by their parents. They both fought and quarreled with their families, but that only made matters worse, eventually banning them from meeting. But they still managed to escape.

Korn stroked the bruised face of the boy embracing him. Deep in his heart, he felt guilty because the always-cheerful boy was now fighting with his parents.

"I'm so sorry In," he whispered softly in his ear and kissed the trembling boy's temple to let his love know that, "I love you so much. Always remember that!"

The boy looked up with his teary face "Don't say that. Never leave Korn" he grabbed the shirt of his love tightly with both hands "I'll always be with you, as long as I can. Together forever!"

A bolt of lightning followed by the deafening sound of thunder could not distract the two boys from each other, forgetting about the rain and the storm. Korn kissed In's clenched lips, which were already bluish with cold and fear.

Bang!

The huge door suddenly slammed open and the two boys screamed.

"Let him go! Fuck, didn't I tell you you can't meet him ?!" the angry voice of the exploding man directed his words to Korn.

"In, come here!" the middle-aged man went closer to the two trembling boys and began to pull his son, feeling his resistance, so he grabbed his love.

"Dad, I love P'Korn. Please let us stay together, please!" he tried to oppose his father, his voice trembling with the overwhelming emotions he was feeling at the moment. "Do you think he's better than your own father? Do you think I love you less?" In's father snarled. He tried to hit his son, but his hit landed on another body, the one who protected In.

"Don't hit him! He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't make a mistake. I'm sorry." the young boy wrapped his arms defensively around his love, protecting him from his own family. Korn awkwardly tried to raise his hand as a sign of respect, his eyes filled with tears.

"I love him. We love each other."

"Idiot! I don't need your respect!" the angry man picked up a rod that lay on the ground and hit Korn. The echo of the blow was like that of the sound of thunder outside.

"Dad .. No !!" Screamed In as he saw the blood of his love begin to flow down his head.

"He's going to die ... Please don't hit P'Korn!"

Behind his father appeared his mother's shadow as well. She followed her husband in silence and watched as the taller boy, his son's love, was being hit. He was silent, standing as a statue. The boys continued to scream, one in pain, the other to stop his father.

"Korn! Son! I told you not to breed with this boy!" the angry voice belonged to the other man, Korn's father.

"Damn, you hurt my son like a criminal, yet he hit back. I'm your enemy here!" Korn's father pulled the boy off of the bar that had caused the injury.

"Come on! Do you think I'm afraid of your mafia family?" In's father's voice ripped through the darkness of the room like a roar. "That's why I don't want In to have anything to do with your son. I don't want my son to be mafia blood like your son. Intouch, get away from the gangster puppy! "

The two men began to fight to separate the young men, who clung tightly to each other until they fell to the floor with the strength of the two men and then cried out in pain as the air was squeezed out of their lungs. At the sight of the tearful bodies, the two fathers stopped fighting.

The rain outside was pouring in, the tension in the room grew. Korn finally looked into his love's eyes. The light inside him began to fade as he decided to give up, but his love remained strong. Korn suddenly turned to his father and bowed.

"Dad ... I'm sorry," the boy jumped over to his father, grabbed his gun, and raised it to his temple. He pulled the trigger with a quick motion, but before that he smiled lovingly at Intouch.

"I Love You In!"

Bang!

"P'Korn !!! P '... P" Korn!!! "Intouch's scream split into the air like a knife. Everyone was in complete shock and watched as the young boy hugged his lover's bloody body tightly. The boy was trying to stop the bleeding on the other boy's head. But by then Korn's gaze was already in the gloom of emptiness.

"I love you P'Korn" In cried and kissed the lips of his dead love. "P' you promised, you said we will always be together"

In's small hands trembled as his fingers reached towards the gun next to the body that had caused the loss of his love. Intouch's swollen eyes scanned the metal, than back to Korn's face, as if wanting to remember it even more.

"Son, no !!" In's father cried out when he noticed his son holding a gun and saw the determination in his gaze.

Another shot rumbled in the storm of the night, as did the thunder.

Another life was lost when the younger man fell on the body of his love, enclosing their love in a final embrace.

The sound of rain intensified. His mother's scream once again permeated the sound of the storm. Then a deadly silence fell over the night.

Chapter Text

Bang! Click!

"Oh, Shit!" the boy fell from his bed, he was tangled in his blanket, again. He fell because of the loud noise of his door slamming shut.

It was his first year in college and 18-year-old Pharm, a student of the Faculty of Economics, stretched and lay on the floor hugging his chest to see if he could calm his beating heart.

Ever since he could remember, he had always been afraid of loud noises, be it thunder, fireworks, or even a door slam. He didn't know the cause of his phobia and it affected him strangely, his phobia wasn't that common. At first his friends laughed until they saw him tremble with fear, pale, with blood running down of his face. From then on, everyone who knew about it started to worry about him and helped him in whatever way they could.

When he managed to calm down, he looked at his watch. It was only six o'clock in the morning. He walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, took out a bottle of water, and drank it.

Pharm lived alone. It was the first time that he had had the opportunity to live independently. His father died when Pharm was ten and left his mom there with his younger brother, who both live in America. However, he chose to go to university in Thailand. At first, he was upset when his mother easily allowed him to live alone in one of their relatives's small apartments.

When the clock struck seven, the boy's paleness returned and he entered the bathroom. He wore his uniform, he left the apartment, it was orientation day, and it could not be delayed.

"Haah ..."

Pharm sighed as he saw the huge gymnasium. According to the schedule, the briefing will start within 10 minutes. He was looking for a place for a place to sit.

The boy walked over to the registration desk. He got some papers and one of the seniors showed him where he could sit down.

"Thank you God!" said when he saw that there were only a few students sitting in the place where he was being directed, he looked at the nearest student and smiled.

"Watdee, I'm Pharm," he greeted.

"Team," said the boy sitting next to him.

"I'm Mannow," the girl sitting next to Team smiled broadly.

Team was pretty tall. Neither bulky nor thin, but on his dark-toned skin, he seemed to love leisure activities. Mannow was small. Her hair was wavy. As Team smiled at him, Pharm thought he looked like he had made friends the very first day.

They kept talking until the orientation began. The principal gave a long and tedious speech that only made the students want to fall asleep, but in received the student president with excellent enthusiasm.

"I would now like to ask club representatives to introduce the clubs to new students. Once the briefing is complete, who is interested in club activities? The seniors will help if you need anything."

During the presentations, all MPs introduced the clubs and encouraged the first years to join. The music club introduced a rock n 'roll band. The basketball club invited their international team and garnered popularity votes. There was also an acting club full of good-looking students from different departments of the university.

Pharm looked around the gym with interest. Ever since he was a kid, he had a habit of looking around as if he was looking for someone. But now, at 18, he still hasn't figured out who he's looking for.

"Ai'Team, Ai'Pharm, what club are you joining?" Mannow asked.

"I think I'll join the swimming club," Team said quickly, as if he had long since decided.

"I don't know yet," Pharm hesitated, though there actually was a club he wanted to sign up for.

"Let's call the swimming club," the MC's voice made its way into the noise of the conversations, followed by screams from all directions of the hall.

The young man with blond hair went in front of two other students in swimming trunks. As they reached the middle of the stage, they took off their tops and stood there like some demigods. Thus, naked, the three boys showed their chests and well-worked abdominal muscles. The sound of the screams was overwhelming.

"Sawatdee khrab, I'm Win from the swimming club. Everyone interested in muscle development,—" he presented his explanation on the bodies of the other two boys, who stretched their muscles and posed like mannequins. "—Sexy dudes with checkered bellies. Please join the swimming club. And for the girls who want to watch this spectacle, we are waiting for you with the workouts."

Pharm and Mannow looked at Team, whose mouth was open, but as he looked at his friends, he quickly closed it and shook his head. "It's  not what it seems like! I just love to swim."

"If we haven't convinced you yet. Please welcome the club president, Dean, from the Faculty of Economics."

A loud noise broke out and it sounded as if everyone knew who he was. The girls around Pharm began to gossip as a tall and a deep-voiced boy got up on stage.

"I'm Ratthanon Wongnate, president of the swimming club."

Mannow grabbed her friend's arm and began to scream loudly. Her scream was just one of the many screams surrounding them.

"I often see a lot of swimming competitions," Team said smugly.

Pharm's heart involuntarily began to resound the sound of screams in his chest.

The tall boy looked bigger off stage. Brilliant eyes, sharp features, thin eyebrows, regular nose. He felt strange as he looked at the boy on stage, his eyes fogging up. Shocked, he quickly wiped away the tears in the corner of his eye. Pharm lowered his head to hide the tears that were slowly dripping down. He frowned, not understanding why his heart suddenly started to be beat uncontrollably. It felt like something special was going to happen. As he saw the president of the swimming club, he felt like he had found the one he had been looking for so long.

"Pharm! Hoiii, what about you?" Team patted his shoulder gently, waking the boy from the trance.

"It's over?" Pharm asked, looking at the departing students.

"What the hell? Team is going to join the swimming club and I am going to join the actors!" Mannow explained.

Pharm scratched his face, finally deciding.

"I'm going to join the Thai dessert club."

"Huh?!" his response shocked his friends.

"You can cook?" Team asked and with eyes wide open as Pharm nodded.

"Yeah, my family owns a Thai restaurant. I've been helping around in the kitchen a lot since I was a kid, but my specialty is dessert and carving food." Pharm explained and told them about the store that his mother owned and that she had moved to America with his brother.

"At first I wanted to join the cooking club, but when I saw that there was a club for what I like to make, I decided to go with it."

"Uuii. Will we be able to taste your food? I love KaNomChan and Lookchub." Asked Mannow excitedly.

"Hey, I like Ryokan pumpkin vanilla cream," Team added to the list.

"Ha, I don't have the right gear, but the club may have it. I'll try next time."

"I got hungry just by talking about food. Let's join the clubs first, then let's meet here and go eat together." Team said goodbye and left. When Mannow saw Team leave, she went to the theater club to sign up, which sounds difficult because the members are treated like celebrities.

Pharm walked around a little confused, trying to run away from the clubs who wanted to recruit members around him. He finally found the tent, where beautifully carved fruits were placed on little plates next to Thai desserts.

"Sorry!" said Pharm.

She had just carved a cucumber with her short hair, then looked up when the boy spoke.

"This is the Thai dessert club, right? I want to join the club." he smiled and was a little amused that the girl had finally managed to look at the freshman and put down the carving knife. Without a word, she handed over an application form while holding his hand while Pharm filled out the form.

"Ohhh" cheered the girl. "Finally a boy who came to us. My name is P'Goong, sophomore."

"Giffy! P'Oom !! We have a new member!!!"

At the end of the cheer, two girls walked into the room. Pharm knew that the cooking club and dessert club were next to each other.

"I died! Hello Nong! I'm P'Giffy, I'm a sophomore too," said another girl who was wearing make-up. He looked at her hands, he noticed that her nails were clean, but they were short, so she was one of the cooking club members.

"I'm P'Oom, third-year," the other girl said. P'Oom was beautiful, looked very nice and had short hair.

"At the moment we have 9 members in the club and we usually do the activities together. I am very happy that a boy like you is in our club." explained Khun Oom with sparkling eyes holding the boy 's hands.

Pharm laughed softly, "How can I help? Just tell me! I can carve food if I have to."

"Perfect!!" P'Giffy raised her hand as if she had won the lottery.

"Some clubs often ask us to make them food. But there are times when the university asks us. And there are still more assignments," the girl began to dance around. The senior also encouraged the other three girls to join; there were still two boys there as club members, which made Pharm relieved.

There were cafes, restaurants, and other shops on campus that were open 24 hours a day during the exam period; especially around the Department of Architecture. They were also open until late in the evening outside of exam time because students in the major often did projects and other school assignments. In one of these dining rooms.

"Most of us are girls," Mannow complained as she stabbed a piece of garlic pork with her fork. The dining room where they ate was air conditioned, away from the outside heat, avoiding the crowds in the cafe.

"Okay, the club has a male star, it's not that weird. But if you really want to meet a lot boys, come to the swimming club." said Team.

"But there are so many girls there who just go to see the prince of the club, P'Dean .... I'm so envious." Hearing the sound of Dean's name, Pharm's fork slipped out of his hand.

Team, hearing the noise, smiled at the waiter and asked for another fork. Meanwhile, Pharm's heart began to gallop in his chest at a crazy pace.

"Pharm, why did you eat so little?" Mannow asked, noticing that her friend's plate was almost completely untouched.

"My stomach hurts," Pharm replied. "I can't eat late."

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" frowned Team "If we had known, we would have eaten first and then gone to the clubs. You are so thin and pale, do you have any problems or illnesses?"

"Yes, loud noises"

"Are you afraid of loud noises?" ManNow put down her spoon and devoted her full attention to her friend.

Pharm nodded, "Thunder, fireworks, bursting balloons, slamming doors and explosions" trying to think back to what might have triggered it.

"If you hear something loud, what happens?" asked Team not very politely. As soon as he realized the mistake, he immediately apologized.

"Don't worry, I'll just panic a little," Pharm laughed good at Team's embarrassment.

"Shit! It's dangerous. It's good that you told us early so that we are prepared."

Seeing his friends' panicked faces, Pharm smiled broadly and said, "Calm down, the sound has to be very loud for me to panic. But if I can't avoid it, I just shut the noise out. I know how to get out of situations so you don't have to be worried. It's "

"Hey, I look like I'm stronger than Pharm." ManNow looked at her friend from head to toe.

"Me?"

"He's just a little taller than me. Maybe a little heavier, but when I see him. I feel like I have to protect him."

"Huh?!"

"Yeah! I originally wanted us to protect Mannow from the boys together. But now it looks like I need to protect both of you." joked Team with Mannow, but it wasn't that funny to Pharm.

Pharm couldn't play sports because of his condition, so his parents were worried about him; an activity that involves noise, such as athletics is a big NO because a starting pistol is used at the start.

"Hey Pharm, I'm serious," Team whispered, causing Mannow to lean closer, so much so that they almost collapsed.

"Do you like boys or girls?"

ManNow screamed, but quickly got her hand in front of her mouth.

"I don't have a problem with any of them, I'm just asking so that we know who to protect you from, boys or girls?" asked Team seriously.

Pharm's face turned red.

"I do not know."

"Oh" both of his friends were shocked.

"Or are you bisexual?" ManNow asked with a bright face of curiosity.

Pharm shook his head. "I really don't know. I never thought about it. Anyone can be the right person, regardless if they are a boy or a girl, I don't really care," he said. He hadn't been in love since he was born, so he didn't know the answer to the question.

"Okay, okay. I get it now." said Team "I'm going to protect you from boys who want to flirt with you .... should I start growing a beard?" muttered Team loud enough for the other two to hear and the two burst out laughing.

"Someone like Pharm ... should I bring him together with P'Dean?"

Mannow happily screamed at herself, "A kind, soft person with someone who is masculine. Like in the novels!"

Pharm's face flushed as if it had just been sunburned.

"What were you talking about? What couple?" Pharm quickly picked up a glass of water with a trembling hand.

"Wait.."

Mannow and Team talked to each other, they both smiled mysteriously at Pharm.

"Please stop ... enough ... why did you talk about this? Idiots" He wanted to change the subject, and finally the conversation shifted to something else. Meanwhile, the boy's heartbeat sped up rapidly.

Chapter Text

Two weeks later, the first semester classes began. Pharm constantly had headaches because of classes. Pharm's friends also suffered during classes. Club activities have not yet begun. As usual, first years tried to fit into the new environment.

Pharm closed the thick microeconomics textbook and put it in his bag. The clock struck four. He opened his laptop and entered a famous blue social networking site. He directed the cursor to the side of the swimming club, he has secretly become a fan. The boy stared at a picture of the club president secretly taken by members. He smiled and touched the screen. His heart, as always when he saw him, heated violently. Even though his profile was there in front of him, he wasn't brave enough to click it. Pharm could not explain this feeling. He was glad to see him, but at the same time he was afraid to see him. In the end, all you can do is secretly follow the internet.

"Strange! Why do I feel sad every time I look at you?" muttered Pharm, the photo of the boy still on his screen. P'Dean rarely posted. It was mainly just phots taken by his friends.

And in those pictures, he looked like he was searching for something, staring into nothingness, "Looking for something?"

Pharm saved the images to his laptop. It was warmer than the hot summer because of his heartbeat. He acted like a teenage girl who just saw her first love if Team and Mannow knew about it, they would definitely tease him.

"Enough. Enough. Pharm, got to sleep!" he slapped himself on the neck and closed his eyes. Not long after, he slept like Sleeping Beauty.

...

"Hey, P'Korn," Intouch said, putting his foot in the pool.

"What?" Korn asked.

"If we reincarnate, do you think we'll meet again?"

Korn flicked the younger's forehead, "You read too many novels."

"Oooii" Intouch rubbed his forehead, "I asked you, just answer."

Korn looked at him tenderly and replied, "Certainly!"

"Indeed?" In said surprised. He asked again just to make sure that he didn't hear it wrong.

"Indeed!" Korn replied as he took In's tiny hand, "I will seek you until I find you again!"

Intouch took Korn's hand in response. His eyes began to dim.

"If we live in another part of the Earth?"

"I'll take a plane."

"You rich eyes!"

Korn just rolled his eyes, "I'll find you."

The two boys brought their arms into a hug position and brought their foreheads closer together.

"Do you promise we'll look for each other until we meet again?"

"Umh. I promise."

"Shii!" Pharm woke up to the sound of the door slamming. This was a daily occurrence. He would swear, and then fall down, "Should I buy a bigger bed and maybe I won't fall down always?"

"Damn! 8 o'clock!" he quickly got up and ran into the bath. His first class begins at 9.

Pharm took off his clothes, tossed them into the basket and went to stand in the shower, but his movement stopped when he felt something strange. He rubbed his face and he looked at himself in the mirror.

There were tears streaming down the boy's face.

"Oh, what the hell?" he wiped away his tears, "Was it a bad dream again? It's really confusing!"

But why do I feel sad?

...

Pharm quickly jumped out of the car and ran, almost late due to a traffic jam. Fortunately, he was still on time. He called his friends earlier to buy him breakfast and wait for him in front of the class.

"Oh, I'm almost dead!" he walked into the class. He was close to crying tears of happiness because the professor had not yet arrived. The instructor was downright a killer, he closes the door five minutes after class starts and no one can enter.

"Don't worry, I bought a sandwich and milk." Mannow gave him his breakfast. The boy smiled as he poked the straw into the milk and began to eat the sandwich.

"Did you see the university site last night?" Mannow asked with sparkling eyes.

"Huh? No!" Team replied, and Pharm shook his head as his mouth was full.

"Oh, wait!" Mannow took out her tablet and opened the page and turned it over to her friends.

Students posted about various topics on the university side. Grades were segregated, but not majors, which often had only student announcements, about each major. They often asked about exams here. What happened to the university site? Everything here is beautiful

it's about students.

So that's what Mannow was talking about, "Cute guys from first grade."

All images were taken in secret, without the person in it it's permission. 

"Hey!!" exclaimed Team when he saw a picture of himself sitting on his motorcycle with a note below:

Nong Team, freshman, dark skin, Faculty of Economics

Pharm and Mannow laughed at their friend's reaction.

"Forget it, Ai'Pharm, look at this!".

"Hey! This is from our conversation yesterday." the boy looked at the picture in confusion.

"Nong Pharm, Faculty of Economics, freshman, bright face, very cute" read the comment. Pharm laughed out loud and posed like one celebrity.

"He's still here .. Nong Team and Nong Pharm are the pair of the year," Mannow laughed.

"We are not!" the two boys protested at the same time. Pharm rubbed his arm, which had goosebumps at the thought of him and Team being together.

Class ended at 4:30 p.m. Team stretched out, refreshed from his escape from dying of boredom.

"Have club activities started yet?" Team asked, throwing his bag over himself, sinking the red and blue feathers into his T-shirt pocket.

Pharm shook his head, "No, next week."

"So you can come with me to the training today? We have the selection today, then we'll eat shabut!"

Pharm stopped copying the notes on the board. His heartbeat accelerated.

"Let's go Ai'Pharm, I want to watch real boys," Mannow  grabbed the boy by the arm and began to pull him out of the room.

"Do I have a chance to object?" laughed Pharm, but he knew his friends wouldn't give him a choice.

"No!!!" Both of his friends slammed the answer to his question in unison, laughing, which soon led to screams as they began to tap each other.

At five in the afternoon, spectators had already gathered in the university's indoor swimming pool. Pharm and Mannow were excited.

"There are a lot of people here. It's just a selection, right?" asked Pharm skeptically, as he remembered it was just a qualifier, but there were too many people here. Those who get in will compete on the team outside of the university.

"The swimming club has a national team that has won a lot of competitions," Mannow explained.

"Hmmm ... we better pray for it."

At that moment, boys in swimming trunks showed up at the edge of the pool. There, P'Win explained something.

"Eeii. Team is the best!" she shouted as she took a few pictures with her phone.

"It's so childish!" Pharm laughed and closed his eyes, but Mannow slapped him.

"Ooii. That boy is so good!"

Their attention was diverted to a tall figure who was not wearing swimming trunks. PDean wore a school training warmer and went to P'Win with various documents. The two boys talked for a while as the freshmen undressed, preparing for the start.

The president of the club also warmed up with the others, not caring about the screams and whispering of the people around him, all his attention was dedicated to a sorter.

"Wait, then the agreed plan, right? First round, we'll pick the top five and they'll compete once again?" P'Win asked as he picked up the documents, they walked together.

"Yes, the top two will be race team members we prepare for year-end tournaments, and the other three will be exchange members." Dean pointed to the red sign.

"There are a lot of good swimmers this year, more than last year, they'll be good to fill the vacancies left after the quarters. They'll graduate soon anyway." Win explained to the president, but he ignored him.

Dean looked around the stands with his 186 cm. His tan skin added to his charm, especially his strong and muscular build, and radiant face. His fans knew very little about him, except that he was of mixed blood and had a younger brother who was a sophomore at the Faculty of Architecture and a freshman at the Literature Department.

Because of his sharp face, everyone said he was very sexy. He shifted his gaze searchingly through the audience.

"Ooi, you're as dazzling as ever." P'Win said, swinging the documents in front of Dean's face, "Have you found what you're looking for?"

Dean just shook his head and sighed, "Let's get started!"

After the two boys settled the conversation, Win lifted the whistle.

"Watch out. Start!" he whistled and the swimmers jumped into the water.

Pharm jumped at the sound of the whistle and his breathing became difficult. He felt as if he was drowning, his gaze blurred. When Dean turned, Pharm quickly fell down. For some reason, he felt awkward while he was about to drown.

"Look, Team is leading!" Mannow shook Pharm's hand, forcing Pharm to straighten up and look at the race. Team led the round. The loud cheers evoked the atmosphere of a normal race. Pharm and Mannow shouted loudly to cheer for their friend. As expected, Team was included in the top five who will train for year-end tournaments.

"You were good!" said Pharm to his friend who had finished changing his clothes. They met at the edge of the pool after the audience left. Some members of the club were still training and heard the seniors coaching the juniors.

"It will soon be like the end of the semester because regional competitions are approaching." said Team rubbing his belly. "I'm hungry, let 's go eat shabut. Hurry up! "

Mannow was still standing in one place and looking around to find the right senior.

"Where's P'Dean?"

"He's with P'Win at the table, they're discussing the schedule. What about P'Dean, Mannow? Where did the shy girl go from the first day?"

"You're so transparent. Pharm." she laughed.

"But it's not about that!!" Pharm couldn't finish drinking because he started coughing and spitting on his T-shirt, "Why me?" Pharm turned nervously to remove the towel from Team's shoulder.

"In the race, you looked like you weren't even blinking."

Pharm smiled as he buried his face in towel. His face turned red, but he held on to the warmth.

"Ohhoo!" Team chuckled and squatted down in front of his friend, but his stomach grumbled, "I'm very hungry!"

"Shabu, shabu."

The two seniors looked around and stared at them when they heard the noise.

"Oh, Team, haven't you gone home yet?" P'Win approached the juniors who were just about to start to go home. "Nong, are you cute, what's your name?" The senior asked.

The club president froze when his eyes landed on  who Win was flirting with. His smile and laughter warmed his heart .... longing for him, his charm began to fill the gaping hole in his heart.

His heart wanted to explode

...

 

"What's up?" Win asked the frozen president, who was standing still, his eyes were light and brimmed with tears.

Dean shook his head, trying to wipe away his tears, "Nothing, just something went in my eyes."

"Do you promise... that we'll find each other?"

Chapter Text

"Khrab mae, I'm fine."

On Sunday morning, the boy was busy on a video call with his mother on his tablet. The sweet smell of dessert filled the air. The silver tray lay on the wooden table on which were placed several smaller baking tins. Pharm slowly filled the blue mass of butterfly pea flower into the molds.

[Why did you get up so early to make dessert?] His mother asked as she looked at Pharm, who was carefully filling the small cups.

"I wanted to eat some. I did it for my friends too."

He set the molds aside to rest. He mixed the coconut cream and rice flour with a little salt, put the mixture in a saucepan and stirred until he got a lump-free white cream. They talked until his mother had to go to open the restaurant. When they hung up, Pharm began to feel a little lonely. The dessert was ready, he just had to wait for it to cool down.

Pharm walked to his computer and opened the usual page, but now he had to laugh because the pictures were of the new members. Team, who was the main member of the freshmen, received quite a lot of comments from the girls. Pharm enjoyed scrolling down the page.

"Huh?" he exclaimed when he found a picture of himself and Mannow as they sat on the stands.

[to supporters of @team teerayu]

Lemon: ... I'm only half in it. Who made it? T_T

Winnie the pooh: @Lemon come back next time and I'll do a full picture of you

Winnie the pooh: @Lemon okay. I memorized your sour name.

Kritti: P'Win, don't just flirt with girls every time. But anyway, Team's supporters are quite cute.

Nawin: Team's friends are both cute. I keep looking at their picture, it's really funny.

team teerayu: Stop! None of them are available.

Pharm laughed at seeing Team doing what he said he would do one day. But the others don't seem to understand that. He wasn't worried about the rumors.

He scrolled down the page and stopped at one of the posts "Race Schedule and Clerk Points".

Rattanon_dean: the classification of the collected points, see the picture below. Pool usage schedule for practice from 6:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.

"Seriously?!" he tilted his head to the side and leaned onto his arm.

... He was just afraid P'Dean wouldn't understand.

...

"What is this? Ta-goh?" Team was finally able to rest a bit now that his afternoon classes were over. But he has to go to the club soon.

Pharm opened the dessert box he brought for Team and Mannow.

"Similar, it's 'leum gleun'. It's tastier when it's freshly made. But I had classes in the morning, so I made them yesterday and put them in the fridge for the night."

Mannow was a little confused. She had never heard of it, only having eaten it now.

"That's very good," she took another. Blue is a very nice color

"I got it from the blue butterfly flower, I mixed it with the mass, that's why it looks like this," Pharm opened his own and grabbed one.

"Mmm ... Sweet! So soft!!" the girl opened her eyes wide "Team, try it, it's very delicious, almost melts in your mouth"

He tasted the Thai dessert he had never heard of before. When he tried it, he suddenly smiled, "Very delicious!"

"The filling is soft, isn't it? It's so easy to eat and it smells like jasmine water."

Mannow quickly grabbed three more pieces. "Ha. You're a boy and yet you cook well."

"Oii, don't talk like that. Most chefs are men." explained Pharm.

"If you like to cook, why didn't you go to Home Economics?" asked Team.

"Why did you come to this university? There is no Home Economics Department here." Asked Mannow.

"Yes, why?" Asked Team.

"Almost my whole life I've been learning how to cook. I wanted to learn something else."

"Hmm... What?" Mannow wanted to eat more, but she couldn't because she had to control her diet.

"Take it, I made a lot." Pharm smiled as he took out two more boxes. "Feel free to give it to your club members too."

"Oh, thank you," Team looked at his watch. His seniors had already given him the schedule. He took the box and put it in his bag. He looked at his shy friend, who handed the Mannow the other box in his hand, then smiled.

"I'm sure P'Dean will eat it too"

Pharm was shocked. His face blushed by hearing only the senior's name.

Mannow smiled at Team's happiness, triggered by their friend's reaction, it was clearly visible.

"Yeah, I'm going to give P'Dean a lot," Team said as he walked away, leaving Pharm—who was still blushing—alone.

"Team!"

...

Today, the Cooking Club and the Thai Dessert Club started the sessions. The girls screamed when the new boy's dessert turned out to be amazing. Usually the club rooms were in a separate building. The sports clubs had their own rooms close to the practice areas, but the Cook Clubs were in a completely separate building.

All windows were already open in the entire room due to ventilation. On the left, there were two Western cuisines and a Thai-style kitchen. At the center of the room was a large counter where the ingredients could be prepared at the sink. In the left corner was a desk full of various documents. There was also a billboard for announcements, news, sessions, schedules, etc... He was standing beside a folding table.

It came from the university board, it is likely that their hall is larger than other clubs, But when the club receives a request from the university, even the large room seems crowded. The club president said he asked about the possibility of changing the name to the International Cook Club, as the club members were able  to prepare Thai, Western, Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Vietnamese food.

"The Thai Dessert Club is also part of this big club." explained the senior who led the five new members around. Looking into the storage room, everything is in order. There were pans, utensils, bowls, pots.

"If there are a lot of orders, we have to cook until our hands are almost broken. We have to stay in the club all night," the senior said.

After completing the tour and welcoming everyone, the club president explained the rules, specifically those  about using the kitchen.

"We just received an order to make 40 boxes of tizos. Who can help? This includes the new ones."

"Who did we get the request from?"

"The swimming club. They want to take the juniors to the beach. So they need food on the bus."

Pharm almost turned his neck as he heard the word swim club. His heartbeat was racing again!

"Who is available?" the president asked again.

Slowly one of the boys from the Thai Dessert Club raised his hand "I can help.".

...

The swimming club just had a break after a tiring workout. The points were posted on the club's bulletin board so everyone could see the stats.

"Oh... I'm so tired" Team lay down on a long bench in the locker room.

"Go take a shower and go wear your clothes quickly! Or just wear a towel if you want them to see your butt!" one of the seniors gently kicked the boy lying down on the bench, who screamed slightly.

"Oiii P'! I don't want to put on my clothes yet," Team replied, trying to cover himself better with the towel.

"Why are you covering yourself?" the vice president stepped towards him and pulled the towel off of Team with a swift motion.

"P'Win!!!" Team landed on the ground in fright.

"Get up and change!" Win held out his hand to help the junior get up.

"Hungry... Tired!" Team sat up and then suddenly opened his eyes "Ha. Yes! I have food" the senior laughed at the boy who jumped up to get his foodp, he hurried to his closet and took out a box.

"Don't be shy, eat it" Team put the box on the bench and hurried to put on his clothes because he was starting to feel cold.

"What is this?" Win looked into the box and took one. "It has a weird blue color, it smells sweet and it doesn't have corn in it. Is that some weird ta-goh?"

"Not P, it's leum-gleun. You didn't know?" Team explained what he had heard from Pharm. Everyone came closer and took out two pieces.

"I've heard of it, but I haven't eaten yet ... Hey, that's very good," Win exclaimed as he took the soft dessert into his mouth. The sweetness of the blue mass, and the salinity of the white pasta and coconut sponge was a very good pairing "Where did you buy it?"

Team shrugged and chuckled. "My friend made them. He made me think that he was very clever."

"Is your friend a boy?" A senior asked in surprise

"Yes, his family has a Thai restaurant, He made these."

Suddenly, the locker room door opened loudly and someone burst through it, causing the people inside to stop talking.

"What are you doing?" Dean joined them. He looked at the food box in the junior's hand and frowned.

"Leum-gleun?"

"You know Leum-gleun P'?" Team's eyes flashed and he quickly handed a piece to the senior, "My friend made it, try it."

Dean nodded "But you'd better eat outside than here."

After reprimanding him, he patted Team's neck and took the box from him in a quick motion and took the dessert. The former owner of the box smiled and handed the dessert to the president.

"Come on, eat the last piece, his name is Pharm, he's very cute," Dean took the dessert into his hands.

The president just stared at the dessert in his hand.

"So ... your name is Pharm?"

His gaze softened and he smiled. He put the dessert on the bench and took a picture of it with his phone. He entered his profile, where he hadn't posted anything for a very long time. He clicked on the share, but before that, he said a sentence.

...

Pharm sighed after taking a bath. Today was a very tiring day because he arrived home late after the club meeting because he decided to help with the swimming club's order.

They agreed that they would make mini burgers and help with making and decorating.

Pharm climbed into his bed and leaned on the yellow headboard. He unlocked his tablet. He wanted to ask Team if the swimming club liked the dessert. He opened Line, and clicked on the group chat.

#Ph@m#: Was the dessert okay? Did they survive?

\(* _ *)/: It was delicious, everyone loved it

Lemonade: How did it taste?

#Ph@m#: hey, I just asked

Pharm was a little embarrassed, he had forgotten to ask Mannow if her club liked the dessert.

Lemonade: yea, yea, our club doesn't have a Dean

#Ph@m#: oh, not that. Mannow, did your friends like it?

Lemonade: They loved it

\(*_ *)/: heh heh

#Ph@m#: I see that okay

\(*_*)/: I gave it to P'Dean too

\(* _ *)/: (sent picture)

Pharm sat up when he opened the picture sent by his friend. His face flushed and his heart started beating rapidly.

The picture was from P'Dean's profile. This was his first post in half a year. Many comments flooded the post, but none were answered by the profile owner. Pharm's attention was drawn to the caption above the picture.

Ratthanon_Dean

*never forget*

Chapter Text

"What is this?" Korn asked the black something on his plate, then turned it around to try to decipher it’s identity.

"... Omelette" In replied sadly.

"What the hell did you do?" Korn poked his fork trying to find something to eat. He was now completely in 'hell friendly mode'.

"When I made it, it stuck to the pan and I couldn't turn it over," In explained.

"Huh? Dessert?" The elder opened the box and looked inside, and saw lookchub in it.

"Mom helped me make it." In said with one of his fingers pointing to the dessert "Actually, this was the hardest thing to do" In poked the star shaped one. Each piece was bright and colorful "Aaa.... Open your mouth!"

Korn found In feeding him funny, but opened his mouth to eat the lookchub nonetheless. When he started chewing, the delicious flavor of the star shaped sweet burst pleasantly in his mouth.

"It tastes like flavored jelly. But it's more delicious."

A smile appeared on the boy's face who was wrapped in a blanket. This is the result of the sweet dream, in which he was completely immersed in happiness. An alarm rang disturbing the beautiful bliss the dream had left him in.

Dean sat up and rubbed his face, telling his brain that he needed to get up. When his dream was over, he remembered nothing, but the happiness and warming feeling that had accompanied it. With his hand, he wiped the tear that had rolled down his face. He wasn’t surprised since he was a kid, he had often dreamed of someone, but he could never remember the details. He would always wake up sad and crying every time, without knowing why he was crying in the first place. The older he got, the less frequent those dreams became, the dreams that used to occur weekly had become monthly. In addition to sadness, he was also afraid. But when he dreamed again now, he was not sad, in fact he was quite the opposite. He was happy.

Maybe sadness was the reason he was looking for someone... maybe that someone knows the solution to his sadness.

Dean got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. As he washed his face, he stared at his reflection. He appeared as a faint shadow, Their faces would have been as similar as those of a twin, but their smiles were different. Dean shook his head and took a bath.

Too confused.

Dean's family consisted of 5 people, and two maids. His parents were often abroad because of their jobs, leaving the two younger ones alone with their brother. He was too lazy to meet his father because they always quarreled.

As usual, breakfast in the dining room was quiet. The only sound came in the form of his sister as she was eating and his younger brother talking to someone on the phone. Dean’s breakfast was simple fried eggs, with sausage and bread, and orange juice. Their breakfast was prepared by the maids.

“I'm coming late today because I have a project I need to do with my friends. Is that okay?” Don, his younger brother, politely asked for permission. Dean just nodded.

He knew that both of his siblings were afraid of him and felt embarrassed near him, perhaps because they had not grown up together. He grew up with her grandmother. When he returned home at the age of 18, his siblings had already grown up. Sometimes he tried to get closer to them, but for some reason they always kept their distance. Maybe he was too introverted, he didn’t worry about his family until they were in a tough situation.

"I'm going to camp with the swimming club on Saturday night, I'm only coming home on Sunday, we're going with the juniors."

"I'll be home alone P" said his sister Del because she was worried Dean wouldn’t allow Don to go out to work on a project with his friends if she was home alone.

"No!" said Dean, "It's dangerous for a girl to be alone in the house, I'll call you." Then he got up from the table, picked up his car keys and his phone. He shook his head in response as his sister asked about his breakfast.

The black Sedan was in the parking lot. He just sat there for a while. He left the house too early to go to class. He didn’t want to go to the club, he wanted to look at the billboard, but he was too lazy to talk to people. In the end, his belly decided that he was hungry.

The most important buffet at the university was the largest, with many to choose from. Dean went to one of the counters. Luckily it was very early, so there weren’t many people around.

"I'd like an omelette with rice!" He ordered the first food that came to mind. A minute later, his order was ready. He turned to look for a place to sit, and went to one of the empty tables.

An omelette looked the same everywhere. But especially... he still thought of the burnt omelette he couldn't eat. Dean didn't know that thought came from, for he had never eaten a burnt omelette in his life.

His phone began to vibrate. He glanced at the name that flashed on the screen. A picture of the club’s vice president appeared, he wanted to turn the phone over. He really didn't want to be disturbed.

"What?" Dean's voice sounded cold, he just wanted to enjoy his breakfast.

"I'm just asking. When will you get to college?"

"I'm already here, what's up?"

"Ah, nothing, you're early. The president of the cooking club came and asked if we had decided on the food boxes. So I want you to come here."

 

Dean finished his breakfast and got up, "Okay, let's go to the club."

He left the table. He held his phone in his hand. He wasn't worried about his surroundings. But after a few moments, someone sat down at his table. He sat in front of him.

"Ah, I'm just eating. Yeah, in the middle canteen. Yeah, I'm waiting." Pharm put his omelette on the table. He talked to Team as he sat down and waited for his friends so that they could eat together.

Seeing the omelette, Pharm remembered his childhood. He had secretly climbed on a chair and baked eggs. He used the electric stove and did not put it on the right setting. As a result, his first omelet burned to black and his mother spanked him. He cried and begged his mother to teach him how to cook. This was the starting point of his love for cooking, he would later help his mother cook in the restaurant. His mother teased him to hurry up and become a good wife who could cook.

With that in mind, he became sad. He rested his head on the table, but lifted it as he grabbed something with his hand.

"Oh, what is this?" muttered Pharm, it looks like someone had left their notes.

"Hooii" his friend leaned over and stole a bite from Pharm's plate.

"Team!! The rice!!!" He slapped his friend's hand.

"Just a bite, okay, okay... Then I'll go and buy some for myself," the hungry dog shook his head and walked away.

Pharm shook his head and put his notes on the table, forgetting the papers that the
the person had left, mixed with his own.

"What does P'Dean's post from yesterday mean? Did the two meet at all?" Mannow showed Pharm the screenshot that Team had sent to the Line group last night. Thinking about it, he didn't really understand what it meant to * never forget *.

"We never met."

In English class, the teacher explained the correct meaning of words with a slight British accent. Team, who didn’t really understand the foreign language, sat in his place grumpily. Mannow and Pharm—who were already learning English at an international school—followed the lesson without any problems. They talked quietly and showed each other their phones under the table.

"Everyone was surprised when he posted after half a year, it's pretty weird." He initiated a conversation with Mannow. What does it really mean? The girl wanted to know the truth behind the post.

"Maybe before he ate the dessert, he wanted to take a photo in memory," Pharm replied, because he wanted to halt his friend's growing curiosity.

Mannow nodded "But how is that possible? I think Dean and Pharm haven’t met. Why would he want to post it?"

"Women's instinct?" Team, who had been silent so far, suddenly joined the conversation.

"Female intuition? What is it?" Pharm was puzzled at the new word.

"What's more special about girls 'intuitions” than boys'?" asked a laughing Team in a deep voice, causing Mannow to inflate her face.

"Haa... We 'fujoshi' can be aggressive, but we never ship a friend with another person. And please keep your eyes on the board because the teacher has already filled it. Pharm, do you feel anything? If you don't like this, then tell me and we won’t talk about it anymore because if there’s someone else you like ... ”Mannow explained seriously as she looked at her friend’s face.

Pharm smiled broadly and shook his head and gently tapped the girl's head with his pen, "Don't think too much. If I don't like it, I'll tell you."

"Then are you singled out?" the boy let out a sigh and responded.

"...no...I know....for sure."

His response made both his friends insecure. Pharm wasn’t sure if he should tell his friends, but he knew that they’d be very understanding.

"If I tell you, will you laugh?" Pharm asked as he stared at his booklet, as if there was a hole there for him to jump into.

"No..." Mannow and Team spoke in a sync.

"I don't know how, but when I see him, everything blurs. I feel very happy and I feel like I’m in love," Pharm muttered.

"That person ... a boy?" asked Team.

Pharm nodded, "Yeah ... that's why I'm a little confused about my sexual orientation." he said slowly as he played with his fingers. "I was always looking for someone ... until ... I saw P'Dean on orientation day."

ManNow raised her hand and placed it on her chest. He smiled cautiously as Team just yawned and tried to grasp the situation.

"Yeah ... yeah ... is P'Dean the person?" she wanted to scream, but held herself back.

"I'm not sure we met," Pharm clapped his hands together as he looked at his friends, "But I'm sad every time I hear his voice see his picture. "

"Then meet him. I’ll look for a solution." Team fired himself up, very curious about the meeting between the two boys.

"Don't ..." Pharm shook his head. His hands shook a little "I'm too scared"

"You don't have to, just calm down. Just meet Team at the club, you can run into P'Dean there anyway." Mannow tried to make a plan, but her friend just shook his head, his eyes wet, and he couldn't calm down.

"It's not like that, I mean I'm scared... I'm afraid of meeting him." Pharm closed his eyes .. he was afraid that if they met, he would make it impossible for him.

Pharm was very pale. Mannow and Team looked at each other, took their friend's hand and tried to calm him down.

"You don't have to meet right now, so calm down. We're here and we'll encourage you if you need it," she explained with a smile on her face, reassuring Pharm with her sweet words.

"Yeah it’s okay, if you can just make more dessert and I'll take it to P'Dean," Team smiled.

"Miss Marrisa!! Mister Pharm!! Mister Teerayu!!”;cried the teacher, causing the wanderers in the room to jump.

"We’re sorry" the three geese apologized and sighed deeply when the teacher told them to write 3 pages as a punishment.

The clock showed 9, Pharm had just finished taking a shower. In the afternoon after the club activities, the club president told him what they would need for the boxes that they will make for the swimming club. They will go shopping on Monday for the ingredients so that everything is ready by Friday and they can give it to the swimming club on Saturday.

Pharm opened his laptop and picked up the papers. How to complete the 3-page assignment for English? His friends were also punished too.

Pharm couldn't help but smile as he thought of the events that occurred today. When he was finally able to talk to someone about the things he was bottling up, it felt really good.

"Umm ... English task." he thought he could write "Guess something ... aww" with his friends

He noticed strange documents under his English papers. Pharm tried to remember how he got them, then remembered that he had found them at breakfast.

"I'm sure I accidentally took it," he was a little shocked when he saw the scribble on one of the corners, he was staring at it with wide open eyes.

"..." Pharm laughed, "Maybe it's just a coincidence," no matter what he said, it made his heart pound. After all, the identification code clearly showed that the person was in his third year. Pharm sighed and entered the university site. He navigated the search system, his hand trembling as he entered the code from the page and pressed enter.

The short boy bit his lip before looking at the name on the screen.

571-xxx Ratthanon Wongnate, Management Maj

Damn...

He dropped the papers from his hand onto the table and screamed.

"Eeiii!!!" he unconsciously moved away from the table as if he had seen a scary monster.

"What, luck,...but how do I give it back to him?" Pharm was confused. Pharm frowned. "Or should I just give it to one of his friends? Eeiii... or should I ask Team to give it to you tomorrow? Aww, it's impossible. Team said he won't be in the apartment tonight because he's going home. I really don't know what to do! " the boy muttered to himself for half an hour until he realized that he had to return it in person.

"...but what should I say.."

The clock showed that the time was 11. Pharm printed out what he needed to submit tomorrow. He closed his laptop to finally go to sleep. But before getting up from his chair, he looked at the papers once more, causing his head to ache. His lips twitched into a cautious smile and he touched the name written on the paper and whispered softly, as if he was afraid anyone could hear him.

"Good night P'Dean!"

"Pharm, do you have club activities today?" Mannow asked as she hugged her friend's arm.

"No! But I have to go to the library. Yesterday, P'Oom said he left the swimming club budget and asked us to make desserts as well. So I want to look for some recipe books," Pharm explained.

“We’ll be very happy.” Team happily joined the conversation after hearing that they could eat food prepared by his friend’s club on the bus.

"Umm... I need to talk to the president first."

...

He had some books to read in his hand, in addition to the documents that he intended to return to P'Dean. He didn’t dare give them face to face because he was scared, but he was worried that he wouldn’t notice the lack of material that could be at the expense of his exam. Pharm took a deep breath and tried to stop the bad thoughts.

The books were about all kinds of sandwiches and Thai desserts. After asking P’Oom about making Thai desserts, the president agreed. But only now has he realized how complicated it will be because he has to be careful with coconut cream and other easily perishable ingredients.

The mini-burgers made a pretty weird combination with Thai desserts.

"First of all, Mannow is on a diet, so the chicken avocado sandwich will be good for her," he scrolled through the colored pages. The recipes were quite incredible, meanwhile it was funny enough to think that the Faculty of Economics is easier to survive than this “assignment”.

The short boy enjoyed writing down his thoughts on a piece of paper until he realized he had spent almost an hour doing so. He collected his notes before deciding what to do next. As he walked slowly near the other tables, he suddenly froze.

...what is this?

His heart pounded. He slowly stepped back and stopped at a four-seater table, but only one person was sitting there. He slept with his face on the tabletop

Why? When? How? P'Dean was barely a meter away.

Pharm looked around 'Is it good to wait until he wakes up and then give it back to him? Or should I just pretend I saw nothing and walk away? Probably just some paper, he can print it again. '

Meanwhile, he looked closely at the sleeping boy's face ...

'Wait!!! Damn Pharm!!! Why do you have to be so close to him?!” He turned quickly when he realized he was leaning too close to his face.

The confused boy rubbed his head, his face turned red again, and his fast-pounding heart made him go closer.

"If I get closer to him, my heart will probably stop working." he said as he put his arm around his chest.

"Huh ..." the hot tears dripped down his face, the feelings lurking in his heart surfaced again. Pharm was almost happy again. Why does this always happen when I see you?

Suddenly the teary-eyed boy thought of a solution, he left a post-it note. He wrote his name on the note, but ended up erasing it.

He snuck up to the sleeping boy and put papers near him. He took a photo of the half-lying person as a memento. His salty tears dropped onto his sleeves.

"Sleep well... P'Dean."

This time, he whispered to the owner of the paper.

...

After the sleeping boy got up, he heard a giggle from somewhere behind him. He rubbed his face and looked at a girl who smiled at him. lol He fell asleep, though he only wanted to read a book before he had to go back to the club. But it was 6 o'clock now. When he looked at his phone, he received countless missed calls and unread messages from his friends.

“I accidentally took your notes from the cafeteria. I'm sorry I returned them late.”

The club president's heart stopped for a moment. This time, as he got up, he felt happy again. But he still wondered who wrote the note because he didn't see a name on the post-it. Dean froze, then took a closer look at the paper. There was a name below the sentence, though it was erased, but the faint writing was still visible. He took out his wallet and put the post-it in the picture holder, then put his wallet into his t-shirt pocket.

... near his heart ...