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I Am Where I Want To Be

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March 2020

Hillary arrived home after another event and went to look for Bill who's been home for a week or so due to this corona virus that had already put in lockdown some countries. She found him in his music room sitting on a stool tuning one of his saxophones.

“Hey honey!” Hillary said smiling but when Bill turned around, he had tears in his eyes. “What's the matter?” she said as she went to him and put her hands on his face wiping the tears away”
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry”

“Why are you sorry?” another sob came out of him.

Taking a deep breath, he explained “I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you. All the pain that I caused in our lives. You've been so good to me, I ... I don't deserve you!” Hillary looked at him not understanding where this was coming from. Seeing her confused and concerned he added “I watched the documentary today!”

When they had been interviewed for it, they had been so emotionally drained they had barely spoken to each other for a week or so. Reliving the scandal had been painful for them both, they eventually made up without talking too much about it and now it was all coming back.

Hillary sighed. Even though she knew Bill was supportive of it, of her and was on board to do it, she also knew it was going to be difficult to relive it again. Hillary had seen it several times now and still could feel her heart ache watching this part. She but her arms around him holding his head on her chest and kissed his head.

“I love you Bill! And even though staying with you was one of the most difficult thing I've ever done it's one that I have NEVER regretted, one that YOU never made me regret it! Don't say you don't deserve me because you do, I would never had a life full of love and joy without you, you make me happy Bill Clinton!” She said smiling down at him.

Bill pulled his head away from her comfortable embrace. “I love you more than anything else in this world! I'm sorry, I know you don't like it when I feel sorry for myself, I don't like it either but I hate even more to be the reason of your pain and that's something I'll never stop feeling guilty about. So sometime I need to let it out, I'm not as strong as you are. I'm sorry!” He stood up and Hillary immediately hugged him. “I promised myself when you decided to stay with me that I'll be there for you and stop hurting you, I've done good on my promise but the past still hurt and …

He could not finish his sentence that Hillary was kissing him, lingering there while she stroked his nape! “We should have talked about it after the interview, I'm sorry I was drained and I know you were too I just couldn't!” She untangled herself for him and started leaving the room.

“Hillary!” he caught up with her “We both needed time to process it all again and when we were finally ready to talk, life happened. You've lost a friend and your brother at that time so I didn't push it I knew you needed me to be there for you so I did!”

“You were perfect Bill; I couldn't have gone through it all without you!” She took a deep breath and looked at him. “Let's talk about it next time even if it hurts, we both know it gets worse when we bubble it up inside!”

“Yes, I agree!” He leaned in and kissed her.

They went to the living room and talked about their feelings about the whole things for a few hours. It was painful but in the end they felt better. They were now all cuddled up on the couch watching TV. The news on the corona virus were not good so Hillary broke the comfortable silence.

“Do you think we should isolate ourselves now before it gets worse?”

“Yes, we probably should! Are you ready to be stuck at home with me 24/7?” He teased her touching her thigh. She chuckled at that.
“Gosh this is going to be quite a change for us, isn't it? But I'm ready for the challenge Mr. President!” She winked at him.

“I rather be stuck with you than free without, my Hi'ry!”

They spend the rest of night cuddled up to each other talking, ready to face anything together. Through all the ups and downs they are still each other’s best friend, lovers and partners, it doesn't get much better than that.