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On the Back of a Cartoon Coaster

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Joseph would be the first person to admit that he’s not the most sentimental guy in the world. He gets called everything from a bitch to a jackass, and he’s fine with it. He says what’s on his mind, and if that makes him difficult to be with, so be it. Hollie seems to like him just fine and there are about a fifty-million cliché sayings about having one true friend so Joseph reckons that he’s doing alright.

Because the truth is Joseph isn’t good with people. (Yeah, shock and aw) Sure, he’s fucked, and been fucked, by lots of people. He’s had hook-ups and one-night stands and fuck buddies, but never what anyone would call a relationship. People don’t seem to like spending that much time with him, so he figures that he just hasn’t found anyone capable of understanding his own particular brand of bitchy, so he lets it be. Lots of his friends are in committed, long-term relationships but they all seem fucking boring so Joseph doesn’t really feel like he’s missing out on much.

And then Stephen Stills walks into his life, all scruffy and neurotic and way too fucking hot for his own good, and on top of that he’s so far in the closet he might as well be living in Narnia. Stephen keeps mentioning a girlfriend, but Joseph sees through that one just about instantly. His gaydar’s never been wrong before and it won’t be for Stephen Stills.

Kim moves in with them when Tom moves out. (Him and Hollie were fucking, and Tom didn’t take it too well when she broke it off. Joseph genuinely loves Hollie, he really does, but she can be such a little whore sometimes) Joseph knew Kim was in a band with Stephen, so when Stephen practically begs him to record their album Joseph can’t bring himself to say no. (The small victory dance he does in his head is only because he’s wanted to record a debut album for ages, and has nothing to do with how Stephen looks at him with his grey eyes under those messy eyebrows like he’s Stephen Still’s new favourite person)

Stephen ends up spending ridiculous amounts of time cooped up in Joseph’s room doing the recording. Sex Bob-Om really isn’t any good, and it takes all of Joseph’s skill as a producer to try to make something good come out of the speakers by the end of the day. So if recording ends up taking a fucking LONG time it’s only because they need that much help to sound like a half-decent band, and not because Joseph ends up just inventing things to do to so that Stephen will end up crashing in his room, passed out on his bed looking even more unkempt than usual and so damn fuckable.

Then one night they’re re-recording a rhythm guitar section, and Stephen gets really into it and starts singing along with the track. Joseph should tell him off, because they’re not recording vocals right now, but he can’t. While he’s not the biggest fan of Sex Bob-Om as a band, Stephen’s voice is so damn sexy, especially when he’s growling along under his breath, strumming gently against the strings. Joseph takes his eyes off the screen and Stephen’s eyes lock with his and the next thing he knows he’s hauling Stephen over by the front of his shirt and crushing their lips together, the guitar clattering to the carpet between them. Stephen makes a noise of protest, but Joseph has never been a man who takes no for an answer so he just grabs Stephen by the side of his face and pours everything he can’t say out loud into that kiss, and pretty soon Stephen responds with just as much gusto. Stephen’s hand is twisted into the front of his sweater and he keeps kissing Joseph like he’s making up for lost time.

“This time, you’re breaking up with Julie for good,” Joseph mumbles into his mouth between kisses, and Stephen pulls back and stares into his eyes with this look like he fucking gets off on it when Joseph bosses him around, and that is something Joseph could definitely get used to.

Then Stephen pulls him over by his shirt and wraps his arms around his shoulders and just breaths into Joseph’s neck. “I’m totally fucking gay, aren’t I?”

That makes Joseph actually laugh, and Stephen looks at him like it’s the most bizarre sight he’s ever seen, but then he laughs too and kisses him again.

They don’t fuck that night, but Stephen stays anyway, his head against Joseph’s shoulder and their legs tangled together in Joseph’s twin bed and Stephen’s big feet poking out from under the duvet. So really, it ends up being a first for both of them.

So maybe Stephen isn’t used to having a boyfriend, but Joseph isn’t either so he understands and doesn’t try to rush them. Oh, they fuck like rabbits, for sure. But to the outside world Stephen is just on one of his other breaks with Julie and no one thinks it’s weird that Stephen spends all of his time in Joseph’s room because they’re recording.

One day when they actually are recording for once Stephen starts playing a new song and at the end of it he tells Joseph is was about them, and that he’s ready to start telling people about them, but only if Joseph comes with him when he tells his parents. Stephen looks so goddamn scared that it makes Joseph want to grab him and tell him that of course he will because he’s completely fucking in love with him, but instead he just pushes Stephen into bed and says, “You are such a goddamn sap,” and fucks Stephen right into the mattress. He sort of hopes that it amounts to the same thing.

So life is pretty good for Joseph. He has a fucking hot boyfriend who he’s actually allowed to start talking about, and as much sex as he will ever need, and a new album out, and okay maybe Sex Bob-Om has grown on him a little. Hollie starts telling him that he’s loosing his edge, so he just shoves her and glowers, cause bitch needs to remember who’s in charge. But then Stephen rolls his eyes and smacks him for being an asshole and Hollie snickers at them and calls them cute. Joseph locks eyes with Stephen and his heart melts just a fraction like it does every time.So yeah, maybe he is loosing his edge. But at this point he’s totally okay with that.