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Like the First Time

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The first time Monroe heard of Grimms was when he was just a toddler. A pup, as his mother called him fondly. His grandmother used to tell him horror stories about the hunter-killers that were Grimms. He imagined them as vicious, old, gray-haired, grizzled men, with a terrible smile and wildly insane eyes. He saw them with sharp weapons and wide coats that were like wings, hiding more weaponry. He imagined them gutting the creatures and presenting their kills to whoever commanded them.

And no, he didn’t sleep well when granny told her stories.



The first time he killed a human girl, dressed in red, his instincts screaming at him to take her young life, gorge on her flesh, drink her blood, he was sixteen. Coming into adulthood. His parents had been proud.

He hadn’t known any different.



The first time Eddie Monroe heard of wieder-blutbaden was through his mother, who spoke of them in disgust. He was eighteen, feeling like nothing could hurt him, like he could kill whatever came for him.



The first time he thought about changing his life around was… something he didn’t want to think about any more. He remembered the blood and the screams and bite of a knife against his ribs. He escaped with his life, but just barely.

He fought to survive.

He still had the scar to prove it.



The first time Monroe met a Grimm was not like he had envisioned it. He was slammed onto the stairs of his own home and was looking into the wild, intense gray eyes of a young cop who was demanding to know where a kidnapped girl was.

He wasn’t all that scary, he mused as he sat in the squad car, watching everyone toss his house, looking for clues.

He was not even hard on the eyes. And wasn’t that a disturbing thought for a blutbad?

No, he was handsome and young and fierce in a way that wasn’t scary Grimm shit. It was an intensity that screamed ‘cop detective’, mixed with a healthy dose of Grimm.

And did he even know how hot he looked standing in front of the house, hands on his lips, pale-skinned and dark-haired, all yummy and tasty and…

Eddie slammed down on the train of thought with a vengeance, shaken and deeply upset for the rest of the day.



The second time he met the Grimm was later on the very same day and he slammed him into the wall of his house. Payback, part of him snickered. What a bitch.

And again with the wide gray eyes! Add to that the smell of fear, anger and confusion, and Eddie felt weird.

Weird enough to shake off the creature, smile at him and offer the man a beer.

And no, he wasn’t dreaming when he went to bed. No nightmares about Grimms chasing him, no. And please, no one mention the dream where he was stalking a man who suspiciously looked like Nick Burckhardt.



The third time the Grimm came to him, asking for his help, Eddie was very much inclined to kick him out of the house.

Again, he was pushed back, though not with a lot of force, and then there was the hand fisted into his shirt.

The emotions that boiled up were confusing as hell and he chose those he identified the easiest: anger. The warning he uttered was low and accompanied by an almost-growl.

It was the first time the expression didn’t scare anyone away.

It was the first time Eddie was impressed and rattled in one.



It was probably also the first time a blutbad helped a Grimm find his own kind and retrieve a kidnapped girl.



The fourth time the Grimm came to him, Eddie wanted to be annoyed, but the shiver racing across his spine, the thrill of the man in his home, was almost overpowering.

Not only was he dreaming very bad, bad things – wondering if Nick was truly that flexible in real life --, he also wanted to do very bad, bad things. Bad for Monroe’s health because he would end up dead or worse if he did this…

Still he snarked and complained – while offering coffee – and felt a bit empty when Nick left in a hurry.

It was the first time he thought something had to be wrong with him for actually liking the guy. He was a Grimm, damnit!



Monroe stopped counting how often Nick came to him and how easy it was to have the other man around. How easy it was to follow. How easy it was… to be part of the whole Grimm-thing.

Blutbaden didn’t really have a pack mentality like wolves; he hated to be compared to canis lupus. Humans weren’t apes either. Blutbaden would very well be on their own and only stayed in groups if those groups were family.

For the first time Eddie felt a sliver of what that might be for him and it disturbed him.




He started counting again since it became apparent that Nick was a walking accident-about-to-happen when it came to Grimm-things. He might be Marie Kessler’s nephew, but his approach to creatures was completely different.

He tried to talk.

He tried to help.

Damnit, he didn’t even shoot first and consider what he could have asked later!

Eddie found a new task in his life: keeping his Grimm alive.



It was throughout that time he realized he called Nick ‘his’.



The first time Monroe knew he was in deep, deep trouble was when he jerked off to the image of Nick Burckhardt under the shower. It had been a particularly nasty creature-adventure, which had ended with Nick dosed liberally in a mind-altering substance that had him unconscious and unresponsive, hauled home in Eddie’s car. And Monroe had ended up with a stab wound in his leg.

It would have been worse if Nick hadn’t been such a stupid little Grimm hero and had led the creature away from the injured blutbad.

Getting drugged for his troubles.

Blutbaden healed quickly, but the stab wound was still a bother.

Nick lay in Eddie’s bed since he had no guest room – no one would want to stay overnight with a blutbad anyway – and slept like dead. Luckily he wasn’t dead.

He was just a complication in Monroe’s life that he hadn’t wanted.

Sure, Nick in his bed was a fantasy of his, but not after a creature attack when the other man had been harmed.

Limping out of the bath, a towel wrapped around his waist, Eddie sighed when he looked at his guest. Nick hadn’t moved and any less respectable blutbad would have taken advantage of the whole situation. Well, he would have killed the enemy, not fantasized about getting him naked and having his wickedly good way with him.

He was in big trouble, he knew.

Not for the first time.

It was simply the first time it involved not killing someone, not abducting someone, but simply falling for the completely wrong person.

A Grimm.

Well, shit.



Eddie knew he was in such deep shit that no lie could get him out of it when he ended up trapped in some old cabin in the middle of the woods with his Grimm after chasing a jagerbar. The creature had fled, but the weather had surprised them both. Eddie had felt the change, but he had been too intent on not getting mauled by a grouchy old bear that he hadn’t really noticed the increased winds and the creaking trees until it was too late.

Now they sat in what could graciously be called a cabin – and what really was nothing but a hut that had seen better day – while the rain was pounding onto the leaky roof.

Nick was wrapping a deep scratch on his arm and the blood was driving Eddie up the walls.

He could stand the smell of blood; he was a good and reformed blutbad. It was just this particular human, in close quarters, smelling so damned good… sweat, adrenaline, power, strength and his blood.

Shit, shit, shit!

He buried growing talons into the old planks, gouging deep grooves.

Blood, the forest, the rain… and Nick. In close quarters. The scent so alluring, even more so since he was bleeding.

A gust of wind had the trees outside groan and Nick looked up, a frown of worry on his young features.

Eddie wanted to lick that pale throat, bite it in a very good and sexy way.

He wanted to taste the rich blood and he wanted…

The blutbad screwed his eyes shut as the inner beast surged forward, slamming against the iron control that was like a leash around his neck.


He wanted to hear that voice scream his name as he came. He wanted him to moan and beg and have that mouth suck him off…

“You okay?”

One more word and he would…

Eddie took a deep breath and opened his eyes. From the look in Nick’s face he realized that control was fading fast now. His eyes had glazed over red.

Nick met the red eyes firmly, no fear in his demeanor, not backing down.

The blutbad found that more attractive than anything else. He wanted to rise to the challenge of taking this man, his Grimm, and mark him.

“I think you should leave,” Eddie rasped.

“I think you should stop finding excuses,” Nick replied quietly.

It was like a dose of cold water and Eddie blinked. The inner wolf sat down on his haunches with a thump, baffled.


Nick was saved from answering by a particularly loud creak, then a groan of wood. Blutbad instincts kicked in and Eddie hauled them out of the way, out the makeshift door, just as a tree crashed onto the hut.

Muddy, wet, rain drenching them even more from above, the two men lay in front of what had been their only shelter.

It could only get worse from here…



Well, it didn’t for that particular day. After a slipper slide-walk-hike-stumble through the rain-drenched forest they arrived back where Nick had parked the car. The upholstery would need a thorough cleaning, but they got home.

Water-logged and, in Eddie’s case, with a severe problem in form of his unabated arousal.

He fled in his house without another glance.

It was just too bad the Grimm decided he was too tired to drive home. He invited himself inside and while one half of Eddie wanted him so close, another was banging its head against the wall, shouting curses.



He had stopped counting how often the Grimm had been in his home. There was a definite scent trail already and Eddie was incredibly glad he didn’t entertain other blutbaden. It would have been very hard to explain why things smelled of Grimm.

It was the first time Nick was under his shower, though.

The images that evoked had him nearly lose control. That and the words Nick had said in the now-gone hut.

It was also the first time he saw the man semi-clothed and the animal inside him wanted to pounce and claim on sight. Did the guy have no shame?! Did he even know how hot and desirable and just damned handsome he looked?!

And the bandage over the cut did nothing to cover the smell of the Grimm’s blood.

Eddie felt something inside him roar in anger that he didn’t just take what was so clearly offered.

Nick looked at him, towel around his hips, damp hair messy and incredibly attractive. Like the whole package. The hard planes of his chest, the nice definition of muscles – not too much, just right – and the enticing curve of his throat…

Eddie nearly couldn’t tear his eyes away from that.

Nick looked relaxed. A bit on the tired side, but relaxed. Not at all like he should, standing in front of a blutbad who was just barely holding on to his control, wearing next to nothing…

Eddie felt tense and about to burst. The wolf kept running against the last walls of his restraint and he was whacking it on the nose repeatedly.

Not for the first time.

The room felt too small. The air was suddenly stale and not enough. He was drowning in those eyes. And no, he wasn’t whining.

Oh shit, he was whining!

Nick was there, in front of him, all clean and mostly naked and still smelling of the forest and the rain and of… himself. Grimm. The hunter-killer. The nightmare of creatures everywhere.

Except for Monroe.

Nick had never hurt him and aside from the two nights Eddie had dreamed of Marie Kessler hunting him down and doing a lot of bad things to him, he had never had any nightmares. Not about Nick. Never about Nick.

Now those sharp eyes were on him; calculating. Inviting? Daring? Challenging…

The wolf grew quiet, cowed and tamed by the expression.

Nick watched him, an expression of fascination and arousal on his features.

They were so close. So very, very close. Monroe still sitting on the bed, mesmerized by the sight before him, Nick standing.

Eddie leaned forward without even thinking about it and kissed the exposed skin, feeling and hearing the hitching breath. He moved his finger tips over the strong muscles that he knew lay under the skin. Nick was by no means a large man, muscular and imposing; he was lithe, slender, strong… He was a Grimm and Eddie had underestimated him the first time.

Never again.

Nick raised a hand and stroked over Eddie’s cheek, eyes never leaving his face. Monroe swallowed, the tenderness undoing him more than any aggression ever could have.

No words were spoken.

They were still not even close to boffing like bunnies, but the simple touches were more erotic and arousing than any screams of pleasure.



It was the first time the inner beast was quiet, stunned and bewildered. There was no frenzied taking; there was no wild sex. It was… so different.



Eddie let his fingers stroke over the flimsy barrier that was the white towel, then slipped underneath the hem and tugged a little.

The barrier fell.

The wolf whined.



Finally splayed before him, naked, on the bed, Nick was a feast for the eyes and Eddie intended to make so much more of it. His own clothes flew across the room and finally they were both naked.

Monroe hesitated a moment, but when Nick didn’t do anything, he dared to kneel over him.

Dominant, but then again: not. Not at all. For all his fierceness, for all his blutbad traits, he was far from dominant.

And he looked into the calm eyes and shivered when the Grimm looked back at him. The predator, ready to put him in his place if this went wrong.

Eddie leaned forward and kissed the tempting lips.

Nick responded beautifully, hands curling around his neck, weaving into his hair in a caress, and the blutbad deepened the exploration of the wet cavern. Minutes passed as they nipped and licked and lightly bit at the other mouth, tongues moving together, teasing, darting and meeting.

Eddie finally moved down the chin and slender column of the throat and neck, nipping at the tender skin, eliciting a sharp gasp of surprise as he left a tiny mark at the base.

The wolf shivered, wanting more, but he didn’t dare. He wanted to leave a mark on that wonderful neck. He wanted to draw blood and lick it, taste it…

Eddie suppressed a groan.

He wouldn’t do that.

It was the first time he kicked instinct in the butt and followed something else. Something warm and tender and vibrating through him with more power than any instinct ever had.

Eddie abandoned the tasty throat and went down further to the two hardening nubs and gave them his undivided attention. Nick jerked briefly, another gasp leaving his lips, then he started to squirm.

"Monroe!" the Grimm exclaimed as he gently nibbled at the current object of his attention.

He swirled his tongue around the left one, thumbing the other.

A shuddering sigh was the answer.

Eddie kissed down south, spending some time with the belly button before he reached the soft stretch of skin that creased between the legs, nuzzling it.

Nick's legs twitched as he didn't know whether to pull away or curl up. Eddie just caught the twisting hips, ignoring the straining arousal so close by, while he worshipped that hyper-sensitive area. He drew his tongue in a long lick over the skin, then released the hips. His fingers ghosted over the muscular thighs, feather-light in their caress and no more than a tickle against skin.

"Eddie… please…. no… stop…" Nick begged, breath coming in pants.


He met a pair of passion-glazed, gray orbs. Nick was highly aroused, needy, and he was very close to begging for it.

"Altogether?" he teased.

It got him a dark glare that was nullified by the hot desire warring against it.

Eddie gave the proud hardness just within his reach a look, then reached out and tenderly caressed it. Nick groaned.

"I'll stop. Sure." He ran his thumb over the head, drawing a whimper. "If that's your wish. Too bad, though." Another caress, this time with more pressure, then another, and he removed his hand.


He leaned over the other man, noting with pleasure how far gone Nick was by now. Both their dicks brushed together and Nick arched slightly.

"Yes?" he whispered hotly, letting some blutbad bleed into his voice.

Nick’s expression was more than the inner wolf could take; almost. The desire, the need, the pure sex, it was almost his undoing.

"Don't…" Nick told him, lust in his voice.

"Don't what?"

"Don't stop. Need you. Want you."

He placed a soft kiss against the panting mouth, meeting the eager tongue. Nick's arms came up and around him, pressing them together, and Eddie heard himself hiccup with barely restrained pleasure as they touched again. He unconsciously started to rock against the other man, reveling in the darts of sizzling energy shooting up from his groin. One leg hooked over his and molded them ever closer.

He didn't have to ask what Nick wanted; he knew.

The Grimm wasn’t the only one.

Now he strained slightly against the hold and Nick gave willingly, though his smoldering eyes told Eddie that if the blutbad didn't plan on doing something even better, he'd pay for it.

Oh, he had something planned.

Something much better.


Now he moved back to the erection, fingers playing over the satiny skin, lips and tongue following. Nick closed his eyes in pleasure, rocking into the wet heat that enclosed him, a sigh leaving his lips.

The trust nearly floored Monroe.

It would be so easy to do harm, to let the wolf out to play, but even if he did… he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to hurt this man. The inner wolf whined in agreement, loving the taste and smell and feel of the man.

His Grimm.

After minutes of uninterrupted worshipping, he released his treasure, hearing the soft protest, and smiled. A kiss promised more, then he reached for the nightstand. He opened the drawer and Nick smiled impishly as he saw Eddie's hand clutching a bottle of lube.

Monroe grinned, then ran massaging hands over the flat stomach to the waist. "Turn," he murmured.

Nick's expression became one of unrestrained desire as he flipped on his stomach, exposing his butt to Eddie's hungry gaze. The blutbad leaned forward and kissed the neck, teeth brushing over the skin, drawing a shiver. He did it again, with a bit more pressure, his own hardness bumping against the well-shaped butt. The shiver was accompanied by a soft noise.

Hell, he wanted to bite down, wanted to taste… wanted…

A tiny drop of blood touched his tongue and he shivered, aware that one sharp canine had pierced the skin.

Nick tasted like heaven.

He licked over the tiny wound and the Grimm shivered.

No, not yet. He could… he could stop this… himself. This wasn’t him…

Drawing his hands along the back, Eddie massaged, caressed, kissed and licked until he arrived at his destination, with Nick growing more impatient and pushy, but Eddie wouldn't let him set the pace. He simply backed off a second or two until the Grimm quieted himself down by force, panting, movement filled with a fire Eddie knew would soon explode.

"Get up," he whispered roughly and Nick languidly moved to all fours, remaining on his elbows and knees.

Eddie swallowed hard as he took in the sight of this offering. He caressed the twin mounds, splaying his hands over them. Nick drew a shuddering sigh, trying to relay his need with minute twitches, and Monroe finally lubed up his fingers and proceeded to gently prepare him, teasing more and more. He knew Nick was more than ready by the mewling sounds, the impatient twist of his hips, and the hands clenching into the bed sheets. Legs spread wide, he looked inviting, delicious, wanton… and Eddie couldn't wait any longer.

A sigh escaped the blutbad’s lips as he sank deeply into the welcome heat. Nick's head hung between his shoulders and he moaned softly. Eddie ran calming hands over the quivering sides, not wanting this to be over after a few more thrusts. This was for both of them. He wanted to take his time.

They moved in sync to an age-old rhythm, lost in their mutual pleasure. Except for their harsh breathing and the soft encouragements, the sound of pleasure and demands for more, there was nothing else audible. Eddie coaxed Nick onto his hands, then drew him up flush against his chest. He wrapped one arm around the narrow waist, keeping him anchored, the other stimulating the dark-haired man in rhythm with his own thrusts. He nuzzled the sweaty neck, teeth again raking over sensitive skin, and Nick's gasps grew louder.

Eddie felt it as the other man came closer to his peak, his movements becoming more demanding, letting him slide deep into the welcome warmth, and he struggled not to simply lose it.

But it was a no-win situation.

In the end he did lose it.

Nick's cry of release triggered the avalanche and he couldn't stop, moving hard and fast, driving into the pliant form, until he reached his own point of no return.

He sank his teeth into the enticing junction of neck and shoulders, drawing a groan. The blood in his mouth triggered his own release and he shuddered.

For a moment Eddie wondered if they had woken the neighbors, then he decided he didn't really care.



Nick was a warm, welcome weight in his arms, all lax and sated and smelling of a lot of good things. Eddie ran tender fingers over the soft skin, patterns aimless, meaningless, just there to touch and explore.

The Grimm looked pleased, but also slightly quizzical.

“I wasn’t prepared for that,” he murmured.

“Huh? What? You didn’t want…?” Eddie felt alarm course through him.

Had he completely misread everything?

Nick silenced him with a kiss, their lips mingling slowly until the Grimm drew back with a smile.

“I wanted, Eddie. A lot. For a while. I just didn’t think you would be like… this.” He fumbled a little.

“Like what?”

Nick searched for words, clearly embarrassed.

Eddie got the idea after a second. “You thought I’d go into the wild animal rut?” he asked, blinking.

“In a way.”

“Talk about prejudice! I’m not an animal. What did they write in those books? Blutbaden are wild and vicious rapists?!” He sat up abruptly.

“No, of course not.” Nick grabbed one wrist and stopped him from leaving the bed. “I know you’re not. But you have instincts. I felt them flare. You wanted so much more.”

“I’m also not mindless, Nick,” Eddie told him, fixing him with a serious look. “I would never hurt you.”

Liar, liar, liar. You already did! You bit him!

His fingers found the bite mark and Nick shivered a little. It was the only injury.

“This I expected,” the Grimm said.

“The Book?”

“A lot of books. Extensive notes.”

Eddie leaned down and kissed and licked over the tender area. Nick shivered.

“Blutbaden can be… intense,” he murmured. “Sometimes.”

“I don’t mind intense.”

Monroe let his head drop on the naked shoulder with a suffering groan. “You don’t say that to a blutbad! You just don’t! Unless you don’t want to leave this bed for a week!”

Nick slid his hands into the wavy hair, chuckling. “It’s Friday. Let’s start with the weekend, hm?”

Eddie groaned again and the wolf was happily bouncing around. The little beast was actually happy!

“You don’t have to treat me like glass, Eddie. This wasn’t my first time.”

“I noticed.”

“And I like intense. I really do.”

He looked hard at him, into those damned eyes that radiated such earnest truth. Monroe drew his Grimm into a kiss, nipping at the tempting lips, tasting everything that was Nick.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Grimm.”

In so many ways. So many good, good ways!

“I hope not,” Nick replied with a little smile. “Because I want to have you around a lot longer.”