Chapter 1: one.
“Can you… stop standing so close?”
With his lips stretched into a smile, it was hard to murmur the words. But there were at least twenty cameras trained their way, and Namjoon knew that he couldn’t lay the pretenses down for now.
“We’re taking photos,” The man beside Namjoon grumbles, as if that wasn’t already glaringly obvious. “They’re asking us to stand close together, please suck it up for a while, your highness.”
If they weren’t right in front of the public eye, the sarcastic remark would have earned him a nasty glare from Namjoon himself. However, Jungkook’s own lips were curved into a charming smile, and he isn’t even sparing Namjoon a glance. Instead, he winks flirtily at the crowd that has gathered, a litany of sighs echoing from the people that were absolutely smitten by those doe eyes.
“Mr. Kim, Mr. Jeon, please step up into the podium!” One of the photographers requests, and both Jungkook and Namjoon are then led by their assistants to step up to that platform. It was quite a small block, and Namjoon and Jungkook were again forced to stand closer than they already were.
Worse, Namjoon even feels Jungkook wrapping an arm around his waist.
“What are you doing?” Namjoon hisses silently, the cameras flashing a thousand times brighter at the unexpected contact.
Using this to his advantage, Jungkook dares to turn to Namjoon with his own charming smile. The crowd squealing at this cutesy interaction, unaware that Namjoon and Jungkook were both seething on the inside.
“I’m about to fall off,” Jungkook murmurs into his ear, which Namjoon knows probably looked sweet in front of everyone else. “You don’t have to be so repulsed, hyung-nim, it’ll be over in a minute.”
Namjoon does his best to control his huff, and instead focuses on the people gathered around here today to see them, a crowd of around two hundred to three hundred people. Today was an exclusive book signing event—one that could only be attended through a lottery system—preceded by an interview right at the heart of Gangnam, to commemorate the third installment of Namjoon’s poem book. For now, he decides to focus on that.
He tunes Jungkook out as much as he can, trying to ignore the way his own cheeks reddened at how close this man was beside him. He could feel the younger man’s breath right against the side of his face, his nimble fingers gently squeezing his waist, and despite the fact that he’s wearing a suit similar to Jungkook’s except in color, Namjoon could feel the warmth radiating from his touch.
“Sir, you can step down now. It’s time for the interviews.”
Namjoon hastily steps down, forcing Jungkook to drop his hand. In an attempt not to seem affected, Jungkook follows his hyung not a footstep too far. Together, they’re led towards their seats. A turquoise couch fit for two, where the gentlemen of the hour sit side by side facing the crowd.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to have everyone here today.” A female host, Jeongyeon, comes up to the stage in a tight royal blue peplum dress, taking the seat opposite from Namjoon and Jungkook. “Today, we are here with the Seoul Times Best Selling Author and Poet, Mr. Kim Namjoon, along with world renowned illustrator and artist, Mr. Jeon Jungkook!”
Easily, Jungkook and Namjoon fall into their roles as the crowd cheers and applauses. They’ve rehearsed this quite a few times already, both Jungkook and Namjoon are already aware of the questions that the host would be asking beforehand. It’s easy for them to answer her, while still looking spontaneous. They both fall into a familiar camaraderie, their hostility momentarily forgotten as they exchange answers to the host’s questions.
All in the script.
Jungkook and Namjoon, an unlikely duo that were formed out of the oddest circumstances. When Namjoon pursued his dream of being an author, and had his first book of poems published, he thought he would have ventured into this alone. Which was fine, that was the original plan.
But then his publisher decided to be quite an innovator. About a year after he published his first book that surprisingly gathered quite a dedicated audience, Namjoon was then introduced to an illustrator slash artist. Jeon Jungkook.
His publisher thought it would be brilliant to have Namjoon’s poems be graphically interpreted, and they managed to find a newly graduated student of the fine arts who had that freshness they were looking for to illustrate a number of poems in Namjoon’s top selling book.
When Namjoon first saw Jungkook’s interpretation of his words, he swore that if he could have fallen in love with an art piece, this would be it. The idea of having his poems illustrated originally sounded absurd to Namjoon, but seeing Jungkook’s works back then made his breath hitch, and made him believe that maybe his publisher was right. Maybe art and literature could work well together.
It’s been more than four years since then.
When Jungkook and Namjoon first met, it was more of a shy exchange of admiration. Jungkook was more than in awe of Namjoon’s work and had admitted to the author himself that he religiously bought several copies of Namjoon’s book to give out to his friends and family, because let’s be honest, Namjoon’s poems were absolutely splendid and magnificently written.
And Namjoon had blushed and stuttered out about how he thought that Jungkook was the more talented one. For his young age, the young man perfectly captured the essence of his poems, from the colors to the style, Jungkook had done his words absolute justice.
Honestly, they both don’t know how they drifted off to this.
This being Namjoon looking at Jungkook with nothing but disdain, with Jungkook making it his life mission to bring the gray hairs out of Namjoon’s head, and with the two of them constantly gyrating on each other’s nerves. From the looks of awestruck and high regard during the time they first met, the two men could now barely stand looking at each other before finding the need to spew some hostility into the air.
(Actually, that might be a little lie. Namjoon knows how this happened, at least he knew his own fault for it.)
It’s really nothing personal, nothing about Jungkook’s attitude or his craft. It’s more of what conspired between them, and how Namjoon became a little uncomfortable with that.
Namjoon’s poems were inherently romantic, he will admit that. They mostly center on one topic that Namjoon has never denied being a gigantic believer of…
Every person in this world has a tattoo of their soulmate’s birth flower right from the moment they were born. It could literally be anywhere in one’s body, hidden or exposed. Namjoon had a black inked tattoo of a tiger flower on his left wrist. It’s so small that it could mostly be obscured by a wristwatch, hiding the fact that it’s still left uncolored.
Because the moment a person’s tattoo directly touches their soulmate’s ink, color will then begin to fill those lines. The flower, quite literally, comes into full bloom.
But then again, those inks literally need to touch. If Namjoon’s tattoo was on his left wrist, and his soulmate’s would be on his right asscheek, then he’d probably have to touch his soulmate's ass for them to confirm that their souls are indeed bound for life.
“Namjoon-ssi,” Jeongyeon directs her attention to the author after asking Jungkook a question. If the script would be running correctly, Namjoon knows what the next question would be. For you, what is the meaning of soulmates?
To his complete surprise though, the host smirks, nothing hostile, just a little mischievous. “You’ve always been asked what you think of soulmates, seeing as that is the central theme of your published books,”
Namjoon’s eyes momentarily glance towards his manager from the side of the stage, and he could already see her tutting, probably annoyed with the fact that the host went off the grid. A wildcard.
“But I’m just curious, Mr. Kim Namjoon, what do you think soulmates are not?”
Despite the fact that the question was spontaneous, thrown into the open without any forewarning, Namjoon could already feel the answer gathering at the tip of his tongue. It’s almost instantaneous, and even he himself is quite surprised with how ready he was to answer.
Namjoon momentarily takes a deep breath before picking up the microphone in front of him. He could feel Jungkook staring at the side of his head as he gathered his thoughts into one coherent answer.
“Well, isn’t that an interesting question,” Namjoon chuckles, before sighing. “If you’ve read my book, especially this latest one, I think I’ve actually realized a lot about soulmates. At least for someone who hasn’t met his.”
The crowd smiles at him, and Namjoon feels slightly encouraged.
“At the beginning, when I published my first book, I thought soulmates were everything, you know. Someone meant to complete you, someone meant to fulfill you.” Namjoon says. “But then you grow up and realize that... that’s pretty fucking stupid, isn’t it?”
The crowd giggles, and Namjoon’s manager turns her glare towards him. He ignores her.
“For me, soulmates are like two puzzle pieces, with rough corners and dips, along with some overflowing crescents,” Namjoon tries to give them the picture, ever poetic. “Both of you are inherently flawed, there will be some places where you will lack, and some points where you’re too much. And that’s fine.”
“Because for me, soulmates aren’t meant to complete you, I learnt that over the years. You’re both two puzzle pieces, already a whole and a complete piece as you are.”
Namjoon silently thinks of all his friends and family in the past five years, and how he had to watch most of them crumble and make up, only to fall apart again because they thought soulmates were everything.
“Soulmates were destined to bring you happiness, but they aren’t meant to be the one to fulfil you. You can do that on your own. You’re just meant to be connected, because two puzzle pieces feel less lonelier than a single one. But never will your soulmate completely change you or mould you into a whole new puzzle piece. Having your soulmate just means that you… you get to have someone by your side, and hopefully, they’d stay with you for the rest of your life.”
Namjoon sighs and he sees most of the crowd smiling softly at him. From the corner of his eyes, he could also see Jungkook staring intently at his face, eyes looking alarmingly serious, and Namjoon thinks that if they were alone, he would have asked the younger man what the hell was he looking at.
“So you no longer stand by those poems you’ve written in your first two books?” Jeongyeon asks, genuinely curious.
Sometimes, thinking about the words he’d crafted for his first publications had Namjoon cringing. Of course he holds them with pride, because they are his babies and he’s worked so hard for them. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but scoff at how idealistic he once was. How clouded his vision was when it came to the notion of soulmates and love.
“I prefer the term, uhm, I’ve learnt better now.” Namjoon humbly admits, chuckling lightly. He feels a little conscious, not just because of the hundreds of eyes on him, but because Jungkook’s stare is still unwavering against the side of his face. “Things change, plans change, and people change. I’ve learnt things from the past five years that somehow shifted the way I perceive soulmates, and that’s okay. It’s a part of life.”
The host smiles warmly at him, and Namjoon thinks he can forgive her for momentarily deterring their script.
“I think that’s a wonderful self reflection, thank you, Namjoon-ssi.” She remarks, but then she just had to open her mouth again. “Well, we all hope you meet your soulmate soon. They’ve been the recipient of such lovely poems, they’re already pretty lucky as they are.”
For some people, that comment might be deemed offensive—talking about soulmates people ought to meet. But Namjoon has become immune to that since, technically speaking, his primary income is centered on the idea of soul bonds. A part of his pride he had to shed.
The world knows that he’s still soulmate less, and it’s almost embarrassing how much he talks about it without knowing who is actually destined for him. Sometimes, he feels pathetic. But then his publisher said that that was what gave his books the allure. The naivety, the dreaminess, the rose tinted glasses—it was all just encoded in literature anyways, it gave people a momentary escape to the times when they too have ought to meet their fated one. Or, in most of the teenager’s cases, something to dream of as they wait for their destiny.
Namjoon tries not to stiffen, his jaw suddenly tightening. Just because he’s already used to it though, doesn’t mean it’s a comfortable topic for him. They can talk about him all they want, but Namjoon would like for his soulmate to be excluded in whatever narrative they’re trying to come up with.
Sensing his discomfort, Jungkook easily takes over. He reaches out for the mic before a dead air could settle in. It was at these moments where Namjoon finds himself both annoyed and thankful for one Jeon Jungkook.
“I object, I think hyung here is luckier, because even if he doesn’t know them yet, he’s already made the most out of his soulmate.” Jungkook tries to insert himself with a plactating smile. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think they’re both lucky indeed. Namjoon hyung has written such beautiful words about them already, but at the same time, they’re hyung’s muse. With or without their physical presence, Namjoonie hyung has made most of their existence already. It’s a lovely give and take, don’t you think?”
Namjoon forces a chuckle at that, along with the rest of the crowd. His own eyes may be twinkling, but Namjoon’s seething internally. This. This was exactly what drove Namjoon and Jungkook away from each other.
During their first year of working together, they were fine. Namjoon treated him like a true dongsaeng, and Jungkook followed his hyung around with starry eyes. Things only began to shift when things like these began to happen.
When Jungkook began seeing right through him.
It started with Jungkook’s artwork. Namjoon doesn’t know why, but the young artist depicted perfectly not what he was just blatantly showing through his literature… but also of the things he was desperately trying to hide.
The sadness, the longing, the desperation.
With the increasing amount of time Jungkook spent with him, and with the extensive amount of scrutiny and analysis Jungkook dedicated to his books, the younger man managed to see right through him.
Blue undertones, blurry corners, dark shadings.
Namjoon grew frustrated. Why was Jungkook so good at this? He tried to live with it at first, thinking it’s all just artistic interpretation. But then Jungkook began acting differently around him. He began to treat his hyung more… cautiously.
He started acting as if Namjoon was fragile and so close to breaking apart, and Namjoon detested that because he kept on proclaiming that love was happy, that self love is equally important, and that soulmates may not be everything but they do bring a certain fulfilment to his fragmented soul. Most importantly, Namjoon continuously reiterated that life doesn’t start or end with soulmates.
He showed the world that he was happy even as he waited for year after year after year for nothing. And Namjoon hated the fact that Jungkook knew that he was a fucking hypocrite.
Namjoon soon became defensive. He shut Jungkook off completely.
“I agree,” The host grins, before her eyes turn mirthful again. “Or maybe Namjoon-ssi has already met them. Maybe it’s you, Jungkook-ssi.”
Now this was familiar ground for Namjoon. Despite the fact that it’s been an ongoing joke for the past four years now, Namjoon was more adept to play around the topic when people teased them for being soulmates.
After all, his tattoo that was literally photographed a million times by now was a tiger flower. The birth flower of people born on the first of September. Jungkook’s birthday.
Technically, Namjoon knows that there are at least a million people born on the same day holding the same birth flower to their name. But the people simply adored the real life fairytale back then (or even until now), of Jungkook and Namjoon supposedly being soulmates.
Of the author and his artist ultimately being destined for each other.
Namjoon almost wanted to barf.
“Oh no,” Namjoon regains his tongue, chuckling with Jungkook as if they were lifelong friends who held deep secrets. “Jungkookie and I have known each other for four years now. And you all know that mine is still glaringly monochrome.”
Truth be told, what the world knows is that Namjoon was still soulmate less. But they didn’t really know about Jungkook. Hell, Namjoon himself had no idea if the young boy’s tattoo was already shaded in colorful hues. He never bothered to ask too, it isn’t considered polite.
But just like the rest of the world, Namjoon simply assumed that his silence meant that he had already met his fated one. Jungkook’s tattoo was hidden, no one has ever seen it before, and none of them pried because that was one of Jungkook’s hard limits. He never entertained questions about his own soulmate and soulmate mark. His own manager even made sure that none of these interviewers would cross that line at all costs.
Besides, Jungkook was alright with the idea of selling the ‘he and Namjoon could be soulmates’ story. Namjoon figured that Jungkook was only actively doing his part in their marketing.
“But you never know, right?” The host insists, almost dreamily, because this is what they’re selling. The crowd coos with her, lightly squealing at the possibility of such a romantic outcome. “Maybe it’ll be the two of you in the end.”
Namjoon wants to scoff, to roll his eyes and grit out that never in a million fucking years. But then he catches his manager’s eyes, subtly reminding him of their PR, along with Jungkook’s achingly fake grin by his side, and he knows what he has to do.
“Maybe, maybe not.” He grins cheekily, dimples on display as he winks at the crowd, making more than half of them swoon. “After all, I’m already very lucky, right?”
The crowd and the host giggled. Both Namjoon and Jungkook share a meaningful—but fake—look that Namjoon knew hundreds of articles would try to interpret before they even step out of this building.
Soon enough, the interview ends. They finally proceed to the book signing, and while the queue is long and Namjoon knows he’ll have to sit there for hours until his jaw was basically hurting from smiling all day... it’s better than being reminded of that colorless mark on his wrist, along with that frustratingly gaping hole right in the middle of his chest.
It’s customary that after every book signing, everyone on Jungkook and Namjoon’s staff gets treated to a well deserved dinner.
They’re just a small team, no more than ten people including Namjoon and Jungkook and their respective managers. A hefty and delicious dinner, all thanks to their company card, keeps everyone’s team spirit burning bright.
The K-BBQ house they chose managed to sit everyone in one long table. Namjoon and Jungkook sit across each other, as per their manager’s orders, with both their managers sitting right beside them.
Jihyo takes her seat on Namjoon’s right, and Seokjin takes his own right in front of her, beside Jungkook. They’re literally a wall, because no other person in the team besides Jihyo and Seokjin are aware of the fact that these two gentlemen were so close to shoving a knife down each other’s throat.
“Would you stop acting like children?” Jihyo hisses, widening her eyes at both Namjoon and Jungkook. Seokjin tuts from the other side, while both Jungkook and Namjoon huff.
“It’s him who’s acting like a child!” Jungkook accuses the author with a pointed finger, trying to keep his voice low so as not to alert their team of their stupid rivalry. “He already took the biggest piece from the last batch, now he’s hogging all the cheese.”
To add salt to the injury, Namjoon’s licks his chopsticks before picking up a thick slab of meat and dipping it down to the big bowl of melted cheese before Jungkook could get some. The younger man glares at him, Namjoon knows he won’t touch anything that’s been tainted with Namjoon’s spit. Even if that meant waiting for another ten minutes for the new cheese block to melt.
“Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin sighs, eyeing them both disdainfully. “Can we all just have one peaceful dinner, please?”
“S’not my fault,” Namjoon insists. “Jungkook carelessly threw the meat earlier, and look, there are oil stains on my suit, hyung! He’s the one being a brat.”
Jungkook couldn’t even deny that, because he did, in fact, purposely splash the oil just to piss off the annoying author. He glares at Namjoon for that.
“You’re both being brats.” Seokjin replies snarkily, before asking Jihyo to hand him a full glass of beer because these two are giving him a headache. “Stop it, please. Let us eat in peace.”
“He started it—”
“Oh shut up, you’re the one who’s—”
“That’s it!” Jihyo slams her glass, startling even the person on her right. She offers them a placating smile before turning back to the two menaces with a furious glare. “I don’t fucking care who started it, but I’m ending it right now. The two of you, stop being childish and eat your fucking food.”
The two men shut up easily. It was in these moments that they’re reminded that despite being the smallest out of the four of them, Jihyo was undoubtedly the scariest. With big, brown eyes that had a gaze more terrifying than Medusa’s.
“Fine. I’m sorry.”
Just like that, the two boys divert their eyes from each other. Namjoon silently orders another batch of meat and a block of cheese, melting it himself before sliding it over to Jungkook without a word. Jungkook also took the liberty of obtaining wet wipes from god knows where, sliding it back to Namjoon without looking him in the eye.
Seokjin snickers at them.
“And by the way, just for pissing me off,” Jihyo says as she takes a sip of her soju. “Jungkook-ah, you’re driving Namjoon home tonight.”
Both men’s eyes snap towards her, mouths already open to start protesting. They are, however, unable to say a single word as Jihyo fixates them both with a glare even more thunderous than Zeus’ lightning bolt.
They both huff silently, already accepting their fate.
Later on during the night, as their entire team part ways and only Namjoon, Jungkook, Jihyo, and Seokjin are left, Namjoon turns to his manager with a sorrowful look in his eyes.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted tonight.”
Jihyo only rolls her own eyes. “I don’t think you should be apologizing to me, you know.”
Namjoon’s jaw clenches stubbornly, and Jihyo could only sigh tiredly.
“When will you two get out of this phase? You both used to work so well together,” Jihyo murmurs, more to herself because she knows Namjoon won’t answer her anyways. “You gonna be okay?”
Worry coats Jihyo’s eyes for a split second, and Namjoon could only offer his friend slash manager a meager nod. “I’ll be fine, it’s not like it’s the first time.”
“Well maybe if you both stop acting like children, we all wouldn’t be here.”
“Not a chance.”
Jihyo looks like she both wanted to laugh and simultaneously smack Namjoon on the back of his head.
“Anyways Joonie, you know you have the rest of the weekend off. You won’t be required to report at the publishing house until Tuesday. Your next meeting by then would be on Thursday. I might stop by your place around lunch on Wednesday just to check up on you.” Jihyo informs him, although she knows that she would need to write this all down and send it in an email because Namjoon forgets things easily.
“Okay,” Namjoon nods nonetheless. “The next book signing wouldn’t be until Friday, right?”
“Yeah,” Jihyo says. “Although next Saturday is Mr. Min’s birthday, so don’t forget that. You know how mad he’ll be if you skip out on him.”
Just the thought of Yoongi’s anger the moment Namjoon decides to bail on a very special occasion sends shivers running up Namjoon's spine. He tried it once. He still regrets that until today.
It’s not that Yoongi’s evil. Actually, the head publisher of Daegu Doors Publishing House was very kind. Especially to Namjoon. The author considers the man as one of his dearest friends, and Namjoon is forever grateful that Yoongi believed in him five years ago, when he’s been rejected over and over again by numerous publishing houses.
But Namjoon knows better than to piss off his dearest friend. He doesn’t want to die.
“I’m going, don’t worry.” Namjoon clears his throat. “Will you be going too?”
“Yes, I am. He invited me and Nayeon.” Jihyo smiles, the thought of her soulmate and fiancé always made her so giddy. “Seokjin’s going too, I think. And Jungkook as well.”
His mood sours once again at the sound of his archenemy’s name. Great, a party with Jungkook. Exactly what Namjoon needed.
He’s unable to complain though, because Jihyo sends him off with one last reminder to stock up on eggs and milk on his fridge, and she better not come by next week with Namjoon’s cupboards only filled with cup noodles. Namjoon promises he will, but Jihyo already knows that she would need to bring groceries next week. That’s what happens when Namjoon gets so stuck up in writing.
Soon, he finds himself sitting in the front seat of Jungkook’s car. The air is stiff, neither of them looking each other in the eye as Jungkook speeds away. His Mercedes Benz was nice and clean, and smelled good too. Jungkook didn’t like using air fresheners in his car, and he preferred placing charcoal hidden below to regulate the scent. So it mostly smelled natural.
Namjoon would be jealous of his ride only if he gave two shits about cars. He was more than happy with his rented bikes.
Unable to stand the awkwardness anymore, Jungkook suddenly clears his throat. “Do you mind if I…” He points to the radio.
Namjoon almost rolls his eyes. Jungkook being polite to him was so weird. “It’s fine.” He says instead, because he doesn’t want to anger the artist. If Jungkook leaves him on the side of the street, he literally wouldn’t know how to go home.
The bicycle rental service closes at nine in the evening. It’s already near midnight.
Before he knows it, they’ve both arrived at Namjoon’s apartment building, Jungkook parking right in front of the spacious lobby. The tall tower looked intimidating on the outside, especially now that there’s barely a soul around, but Namjoon’s more than thankful to finally reach home.
Namjoon clicks off his seatbelt, but just before he gets down, he sits up, looking straight ahead at the window in front them.
“I’m sorry, by the way.” He mumbles. “I’m sorry for hogging the cheese and taking all the meat for myself.”
Jungkook neither looks surprised nor baffled at the apology. Because this was how they always were. They’d get on each other’s nerves, but right before the night ended, they’d apologize to each other. Trying to remain in good—no—an okay state, so that they could continue working with each other in harmony. Unless they both wanted their Yoongi hyung to hang them by their balls.
So instead of a sarcastic remark, Jungkook just looks ahead at the window too. He himself doesn’t look at Namjoon as he mumbles, “I’m sorry too, about your suit. I can pay for dry cleaning.”
“S’fine.” Namjoon clears his throat. “No need to worry about that.”
Jungkook nods once stiffly. “Okay.”
“See you at the next book signing then,” Namjoon finally goes to unlock the door. “And thanks for the ride.”
But to Namjoon’s surprise, the door was locked.
“Jungkook-ah, the door’s still—” Namjoon turns to look back at the artist, but the words get cut off of his own throat as he finds Jungkook’s eyes fixated sternly on him.
He flushes. “What’s the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while. He simply kept his unwavering stare on Namjoon’s face, until the writer was squirming.
“Jungkook-ah, what are you—”
“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Jungkook suddenly asks, and it’s nearly twelve in the morning and Namjoon’s brain is already half snoozing.
“Yes, I mean. I’m sorry. I was acting childish, and I shouldn’t have—”
“Not that,” Jungkook brushes him off. “I’m talking about what you said at the interview.”
Just like that, Namjoon’s spine stiffens. “What?”
For a moment, Jungkook looked like he wanted to backtrack. But if there is one thing Namjoon has learnt about the young artist is that his eyes never lied. Namjoon could clearly see the curiosity burning in them, and he knows that Jungkook is dying to know something.
His curiosity prevails.
“When the interviewer asked about what do you think soulmates are not,” Jungkook suddenly breaks eye contact, looking down at the gearshift instead. “Did you mean that?”
Being reminded of what transpired earlier that day, Namjoon’s jaw clenches again. He doesn’t know why, but with Jungkook, Namjoon just had the natural tendency of shutting off. As if he was always in defense mode even though the young man was only asking a question.
“Why do you wanna know?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes tiredly. “I just want to.”
As expected, the brat wouldn’t even give him a proper response at all. If Namjoon wasn’t as exhausted, he might have responded with something snarky. But again, it’s midnight, and Jungkook won’t let him get out of his car until he answers his question.
“I did.” Namjoon answers stiffly, but honest. “What’s the matter though? Why is it important to you?”
If possible, Jungkook stares longer and harder at Namjoon for that. His eyes are blank, calculating if anything. Namjoon doesn’t know what to do.
“It’s nothing, I,” He finally mumbles before sighing. He fixates his glare at the window in front of him, before clicking on something on his side of the door, the sound of the door unlocking resounding around the car. “It’s nothing, hyung. Don’t mind me.”
As odd as it was, Namjoon is already beyond exhausted. He could let this oddity pass for now.
“Alright, good night, Jungkook.” He opens the door, and steps down.
“Good night, hyung.” Jungkook responds, but just before Namjoon could shut his door, Jungkook suddenly says, “And hyung?”
Namjoon pauses right when he’s about to swing the door close. “Yeah?”
“That’s good, you know.” He mumbles shyly, and Namjoon is suddenly thrown off the grid again. “I’m glad you see soulmates differently now. It’s… better. For you at least.”
Namjoon freezes for a moment, before his jaw locks tight again. For the nth time that day, his hackles rose up, his defenses rising at the presence of one irking Jeon Jungkook.
“Whatever. Good night, Jungkook.”
Just like that, Namjoon slams the car door, and he’s not even remotely remorseful about it. Anger suddenly spikes up in his veins because Jungkook never cared, Jungkook shouldn’t care about him. Maybe they weren’t enemies, but they weren’t friends either. Namjoon has made that clear ages ago.
So he doesn't know why Jungkook is acting like he knows Namjoon. Again.
In his angry haze, however, Namjoon completely misses the way Jungkook’s eyes trained on him until he entered the building and up the elevator. The young artist sighing tiredly, eyes unknowingly turning a little misty as the slammed door left a dent against the surface of his heart.
Jungkook drives home in silence, once again wondering where he went wrong.
Chapter 2: two.
Kim Namjoon is not a person that opens up easily, Jungkook can single handedly attest to that.
As a matter of fact, he tried for so many years to do so. But needless to say, Jungkook failed miserably in his quest of truly befriending his work partner, Kim Namjoon.
However, despite his prickly thorns, someone had indeed successfully pushed down Namjoon’s walls. More specifically, there were two people in this world who had the privilege (Jungkook swears he’s not jealous) to be truly called Kim Namjoon’s friends.
In front of him, Namjoon startles on his seat. Both of their heads snapping towards the direction of that voice that literally filled the entire room, enough to garner the attention of the whole staff that were peacefully having their dinner after another tedious day of book signing.
“Joonie hyuuuuuuuung!” The second man, with a much deeper voice calls out when Namjoon fails to respond to their deafening cries.
“Must they both sound like they’re screaming from the mountains when they’re only five meters away.” Jihyo mutters tiredly from Namjoon’s side, and Seokjin couldn’t help but chuckle once he got over his shock at seeing these two familiar faces.
When Jungkook’s eyes snap back to Namjoon, there is neither a hint of annoyance or irritation in Namjoon’s face, unlike what Jungkook always sees is directed unto him. There’s nothing but pure fondness in his eyes and his smile, and Jungkook once again wonders why he wasn’t good enough to ever be the recipient of that gorgeous smile.
“Minnie, Tae-tae!” Namjoon stands up from his seat, opening his arms just in time for those two boys to barrel into Namjoon’s awaiting arms. “Come here!”
Without any hint of grace and poise, Taehyung and Jimin jump into their hyung’s arms. The rest of the staff has returned to their food, already used to this heart melting scene. But Jungkook still keeps his unwavering gaze on them.
Jungkook will forever deny the fact that he was pouting.
“Ah hyungie, we’re sorry we’re late.” Jimin steps on his tippy toes to land a kiss on Namjoon’s cheek. Jungkook suddenly wonders why his jaw surprisingly tightened, despite seeing Park fucking Jimin pepper kisses all over Namjoon’s face a million times by now. “Tae-tae and I ran a little late for dance practice. And the traffic wasn’t too kind to us too, and we really had a—oh hi, Jihyo! I didn’t recognize you, holy shit, you’re rocking the blonde.”
Just like that, Taehyung gets his chance to speak, as Jimin frets over Jihyo’s hair much to the manager’s delight. “As Jimin was saying, we’re sorry we’re late for dinner.” Taehyung smiles, leaning up to kiss Namjoon’s cheek as well. “I hope there’s still some food left for us though.”
“Of course!” Namjoon nods excitedly. He always invites his two friends for dinner, but Jimin and Taehyung are only able to stop by quite a few times. It seems though that Namjoon was truly expecting them tonight. “We haven’t eaten much yet anyways. Wait, let me ask the waiter to add another table for you both.”
Namjoon easily calls for a waitstaff to add another table beside them. In that way, Jimin sits besides Namjoon, with Taehyung right across him and to Jungkook’s other side.
Seeing as he still has manners, Jungkook takes his chance to greet their guests. Despite them being closer to Namjoon, Jungkook himself has formed a friendship with Jimin and Taehyung throughout the years of having these two join their team for dinner at random nights.
“Hello, Taehyungie hyung, Jiminie hyung.” He bows to them politely, but the two men opt to exchange a friendly hug with him instead.
“Hi, Kookie, how are you?” Jimin says excitedly, before his voice lowers, eyes turning mirthful. “Still giving Namjoon hyung hell, I presume?”
Jungkook reddens as Namjoon squawks. The writer hits Jimin’s ass for that, but the smaller man only winks back at his best friend teasingly.
“Ah no,” Jungkook chuckles, and Taehyung beside him coos over his shyness. “We’re fine. How about you two though? How’s your new play?”
“Oh it’s going great,” Taehyung enthusiastically replies as he sits on Jungkook’s side, shooting Seokjin a grin as well. “Besides the fact that Jimin and I are drowning in ice baths almost every night now, the play’s going really well. Hopefully, we do better this time. We’re still both bitter about that bitchass critic who had zero appreciation for lyrical hip hop.”
Despite his initially mild discomfort with this eccentric pair, Jungkook easily finds himself smiling at Taehyung’s anecdotes. He likes them, Jungkook genuinely does. He just doesn’t like how close they were to Namjoon, or more like, how he can never have that with his supposed partner.
It’s almost as if Namjoon was a part of their relationship.
But even then, Jungkook isn’t really nervous (not that he has the right to be). Because even though they aren’t sitting side by side, Taehyung and Jimin’s hands are intertwined tightly above the table. It’s already a snug fit, and Jungkook smugly believes that it no longer needs a third hand.
As dinner passes by, Jungkook finds himself immersed in conversation with both Jimin and Taehyung, and not quite surprisingly since his two happy pills are here—damn their effect on his hyung—with Namjoon too. The night passes by without a blip or any of Jungkook and Namjoon’s childish antics, not when they’re both preoccupied with laughing due to these two being the life of the party.
Later, Namjoon and Jimin excuse themselves, leaving Taehyung and Jungkook for a while.
“I’ll miss you.” Taehyung murmurs, pretending to wipe a tear as if he’s sending off his husband to war. “Jimin-ah, please don’t forget me, and come home soon, my darling.”
Equally as dramatic, Jimin plays along. He pretends to bury his face in Namjoon’s chest, the writer barely able to do anything but stand there with an amused grin. “We shall see, my beloved. Once my father returns to town, I shall employ my maiden’s assistance to sneak into your quarters.” Jimin also caresses Namjoon’s arms, and with a chuckle, Jungkook realizes that Namjoon must be the maiden.
“This young knight shall help you too,” Taehyung pats Jungkook’s forehead, and he soon realizes that he also had a role in this play. “Worry not about the guards, he’ll help you escape your father’s crutches, my pumpkin.”
Jimin was about to reply, but Namjoon decides that he’s had enough of this.
“Come on now, Jimin-ah,” Namjoon rolls his eyes fondly, hauling Jimin up properly. “We’re just going to the bathroom, let’s go.”
Still, as they separate, the two pretend as if they’re being pulled apart against their will. Seokjin cackles loudly as Jihyo snorts at their antics, muttering something about how grown ass men around here are mentally aging backwards. Taehyung only slumps against Jungkook’s side in faux distress now that his beloved is gone.
“Oh woe, whatever shall I do?”
“It’s the end of the world, isn’t it?” Jungkook teases.
“Oh it is.” Taehyung nods solemnly. “Losing Jimin is indeed the end for me.”
Oddly enough, Jungkook has no qualms in believing that. Jimin and Taehyung can never be separated. Ever.
“You two are soooo….”
“Cute? Charming? Achingly handsome and beautiful? C’mon Jungkook-ah, you can say it.”
“Annoying.” Jungkook snorts out. “You two are so gross and obnoxious.”
Taehyung gasps dramatically, clutching his chest in faux horror. “How dare you, young knight?! After I keep my silence when you go around sneaking glances at Jimin’s maiden, this is how you repay me?”
Just like that, Jungkook reddens like a tomato. He flushes down to the tips of his ears, avoiding his giggling hyung’s gaze while he sips on the drink right in front of him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“If that’s what you say so…” Taehyung says in a sing-song voice, cackling when Jungkook glared at him again.
“Is that really both your thing?” Jungkook couldn’t help but ask, trying his best to divert the topic. “Or are you two just the most annoying soulmates in the world?”
There’s a twinkle in Taehyung’s eyes as Jungkook says that, he smiles privately, right before gasping dramatically once again.
“You are hurting my feelings, young man!” He points at Jungkook with a glare, before pushing the younger man to the side to obtain his manager’s attention. “Seokjin hyung, tell us. Is this how you’ve raised your child?”
“I take no responsibility over how Jungkook grew up.” Says Seokjin nonchalantly. “Ask Yoongi, maybe he did that.” And just like that, Seokjin easily returns to a conversation he was having with a co-worker on his other side.
“Ha, ha, very funny.” Jungkook muses, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh again. As he continued teasing the younger man, however, Taehyung found the atmosphere to be quite hot. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt underneath a denim jacket, and he decided to strip off his outer garment to relieve some of that heat.
As he removed it though, Jungkook took notice of Taehyung’s soulmate tattoo. It was located at the back of his left forearm, very near his armpit. Obviously, it’s already colored, and Jungkook is just mildly jealous. He stares at it longer than usual, only because it’s pretty in its deep plum hue. Despite being nothing more than three inches in height, the flower was pretty prominent. In full bloom.
Just like Taehyung and Jimin’s love.
“What is it, do I have something in my arm?”
Jungkook realizes that he must have been staring at it far too long, that Taehyung began tilting his arm just to see what Jungkook was staring at.
“Ah no, I’m sorry I-I’m staring, I know it’s rude but,” Jungkook mumbles. “I just realized that I never really saw your soulmate tattoo until now. It’s pretty by the way.”
To Jungkook’s delight, Taehyung doesn’t look offended or pissed off. In fact, he offers Jungkook a pleased smile.
“Thank you,” He grins cheekily. “I like it a lot too. I’m glad it came in purple actually.”
Jungkook nods in agreement. Purple looked good on Taehyung’s skin. “It really suits you. What flower is it, hyung, if it’s okay to ask?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly, nowhere near looking uncomfortable. “And it’s an Annaglis.”
Annaglis. “So that’s Jimin’s birth flower, huh?” Jungkook marvels at it, missing the way Taehyung smirked. “What day is it, hyung? I’ve forgotten when Jimin hyung’s birthday was, I’m sorry.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything for a while, simply staring at the younger man who seemed far too interested in his soulmate mark.
“Actually, Jimin’s birthday is on October 13th,” Taehyung says softly, serious. “But this is a flower for someone born on June 14th.”
At that very moment, Jungkook was glad he wasn’t holding anything. He could have sworn that he would have dropped it unceremoniously as the news washes over him like a tidal wave.
Taehyung doesn’t look surprised at Jungkook’s outburst. As a matter of fact, he looked like he was enjoying the fact that he caught Jungkook off guard.
“Mhm,” He hums in confirmation. “This isn’t Jimin’s birth flower.”
What? That doesn’t make any sense at all. “But, what huh, you two—no that’s not, you two are literally…”
“Literally what?” Taehyung teases, before his face morphs into the most serious version of himself that Jungkook has ever seen. “It’s as simple as that. Jimin and I are not soulmates.”
The news sounded like it was spoken in latin. Not a single word made sense to Jungkook at all. His brain is unable to comprehend the fact that most married—the most compatible people he knew were, in fact, not destined for each other.
“That’s impossible.” He breathes out shakily.
“It’s actually not.” Taehyung immediately counters. “You can check his own tattoo, although it’s at the back of his knee. It’s a birth flower that isn’t mine, but it’s already colored too.”
It’s already colored. Similar to Taehyung. Then that could only mean that at some point in their life, they’ve both met their soulmates and their soulmates are apparently not each other.
Everything Jungkook has ever believed in turned fucking askew.
“Hyung,” He gasps out, his brain unable to catch up. “You two aren’t—you guys are…”
“What?” Taehyung looked genuinely amused by Jungkook’s confusion. “Jungkook-ah, Jimin might not be my actual soulmate, but I love him so much more than that.”
The confirmation has his breath hitching. While the sentiment was touching, Jungkook feels like he’s caught in a whirlpool. The tips of his fingers suddenly feel weak, almost shaky. Cold sweat beading on his forehead.
“But that’s not…” Right. He wants to say. “Hyung, the universe, and its rules, and fate, and—”
“And what about them?” Taehyung asks, in no way offended or upset. “Actually, who cares about them? We’re all okay with it. We’ve long accepted the fact that we both aren’t soulmates, and we’ve already moved past that.”
But the universe has rules, and we have to follow them. Jungkook wants to reason out, desperation suddenly flooding his entire body. His whole system of beliefs has been shattered; everything he’s ever known turned out to be a lie.
And the worst part is, he doesn’t want it to be a lie.
Because these rules of fate and destiny are the last things Jungkook is holding on to. He can’t lose them, for reasons unspecified.
“So it means that y-your soulmates, they’re all, uhm I don’t know, on board with it?” Jungkook asks, genuinely curious.
“Yes, they are.” Taehyung nods as he wets his lips, patient in explaining. “There are more people in this world than you think that are quite alright with not following the universe’s rules. It actually makes us happier this way.”
Another stab sent right through Jungkook’s heart. He barely holds back a whimper.
“They’re not mad?”
“Nah, Tzuyu’s pretty cool with it.” Taehyung says, and Jungkook inhales sharply because he said a name, and it just made everything even more real. “Mina too, Jimin’s soulmate I mean. They’ve both given us their blessings ages ago.”
They can’t. Jungkook wants to scream, his existential crisis almost getting the best of him. How can someone let go of their destiny so easily? They were meant to be, they can’t just… let them go.
“Tzuyu and… Mina?” Jungkook stutters out.
Taehyung nods, a small fond smile on his lips. “Yeah. Tzuyu’s my soulmate. She’s a model, and the moment she found out that her soulmate was already in love with someone else, I swear that girl never looked so relieved in her life. Apparently, she never had plans to settle, preferring her bachelorette life.” Taehyung looked unaffected, almost grateful, and Jungkook just didn't understand. “And Mina on the other hand, she’s actually a co-worker. She’s a dancer too, and sometimes we work with her, and she’s nice. She treats us like a good friend, and she also has her own girlfriend too so that’s that.”
A co-worker. Knowing that they both get to see one of their soulmates up close without giving in to the pull to be with them is just mind boggling.
Jungkook doesn’t understand how they can do it.
“I… I don’t know what to say.” He mutters. “I always thought you two were soulmates. I thought it was always soulmates. ”
His sentence barely made sense, but Taehyung chuckles anyway.
“You sound like Namjoon hyung.” He teases, and Jungkook couldn’t even find it in himself to be offended. “At least what he sounded like before.”
Being reminded of Namjoon sends the young artist into another bout of vertigo. Namjoon. Namjoon would side with Jungkook. If anyone in this world believed in the book of soulmates so badly that he almost betted his entire life on it, it would be Namjoon.
“Does hyung know?”
Taehyung nods. “Of course. We literally know everything about each other. He’s—he’s the first person we ever told about it back then.”
What? But if Namjoon knew… then does that mean he’s okay with it? That’s impossible. Namjoon believed in facts—soulmates are meant for each other. He’s reiterated that in his books over and over again, he can’t just suddenly be fine with this.
Because if Namjoon is indeed okay with it, then Jungkook literally wouldn’t know what to do. He can’t.
“Oh.” Was all Jungkook could mutter, actively trying to stop himself from breaking down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine, although you do look a little pale.” Taehyung says worryingly, slapping a hand on Jungkook’s forehead. “Are you okay, Jungkookie?”
“Honestly, I’m just… I couldn’t…” How can Jungkook tell him that Taehyung and Jimin just single handedly broke down everything he’s ever held close to his heart? “I just don’t understand. But you and Jimin are you guys. You two are just, such a perfect fit. I can’t believe you two are not soulmates. You two love each other so much.”
Jungkook doesn’t know what to believe in anymore. First, he wonders if he should blame the universe and fate. It’s so glaringly obvious that Jimin and Taehyung were meant to be; they’re more soulmates than actual soulmates. So why didn’t the universe let them have it?
But at the same time, why did Jimin and Taehyung bend the rules? He knows there’s no written law about it, but everyone knows that soulmates are for soulmates. If they weren’t destined for each other, then they weren’t meant to be. Why would they go against that?
Why? Why? Why?
“Jungkook-ah,” Thankfully though, Taehyung had a simple answer for him. He smiles gently, almost as if he knew what Jungkook is feeling right now, of what is about to spill out of the young artist like a dam. “There’s more to love than just destiny.”
Jungkook inhales sharply, failing to form a coherent response to that.
It was at that moment that Jimin and Namjoon returned from the restroom. Apparently, Jimin also took a quick smoke, and that explains Namjoon’s displeased scowl because his hyung absolutely detests the scent of smoke. But it’s alright, he loves Jimin anyways.
Jungkook finds himself silently staring at Jimin and Taehyung for the rest of the night before his gaze shifts to Namjoon. There’s a lot of things he mostly can’t believe. But above them all, he can’t grasp the fact that Namjoon was actually okay with all this.
It goes against his beliefs about the author. Namjoon was stubborn when it came to soulmates. There’s no way he just accepted that.
It bothers him so much that by the end of the night, Jungkook finds himself willingly offering Namjoon a ride home, much to Jihyo, Seokjin, Jimin, and Taehyung’s surprise. Hell, even Namjoon looked at him as if he just grew four heads and eight dicks.
With Jimin and Taehyung pushing him to Jungkook’s car, however, Namjoon begrudgingly finds himself in Jungkook’s front seat again. The air was tense despite their pleasant night, and Namjoon briefly wonders why the hell did Jungkook want to carpool if he isn’t even going to look at Namjoon at all. He gets his answer though when Jungkook pulls up in front of his apartment complex.
“Did you know?” He suddenly asks, and Namjoon startles in his seat.
“Know what?” Namjoon asks back.
“Did you know that Jimin and Taehyung weren’t soulmates?”
For a moment, it’s Namjoon who’s caught off guard. Is this why Jungkook wanted to talk to me?
“Uhh yeah, how did you know though?” Namjoon asks cautiously, because even if Jimin and Taehyung weren’t actively hiding it, they also weren’t exactly announcing it to the world in a huge megaphone.
“Taehyung told me tonight, and I’m just… I couldn’t believe it.” Jungkook says, watching as understanding floods Namjoon’s eyes. “How are they not soulmates?”
“Don’t ask me, I don’t know either.” God knows how many times Namjoon asked the same question. “All I know is that they’re good together, even if they weren’t each other’s destined ones.”
The nonchalant way Namjoon says it has Jungkook staggering. Still, for Jungkook, it’s not right.
“And you’re just... okay with it?”
“What?” Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow, he tilts his body to face Jungkook with a frown. “Jungkook-ah, I’m gonna need you to be very careful with your next words.”
Realizing what he must have sounded like, Jungkook backtracks. He remembers how protective Namjoon was of Jimin and Taehyung.
“No, that’s not what I—” Jungkook sighs as Namjoon’s frown gets deeper. “What I’m trying to say is if you’re, like, okay with it, like knowing you. ”
Apparently, that wasn’t the right thing to say. Namjoon splutters in his seat.
“Knowing me?!” He squawks, levelling Jungkook with a displeased scowl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you!” Jungkook sighs exasperatedly. “You know what I mean, hyung. You know you’re like this… fixated on the idea of soulmates and then suddenly you realize that your best friends who're the most married couple in the world aren’t soulmates, and like, you’re okay with that?”
Namjoon opens his mouth, ready to defend himself. He’s mildly offended by what Jungkook thinks of him, but then he remembers that of course, Jungkook would think that. He’s been there ever since Namjoon wrote his first book, he’s seen how naive Namjoon was, seen his rigid beliefs of destiny and soulmates. Hell, Jungkook was even tasked to interpret them in his own way.
It reminds him again of why he dislikes Jungkook. Because Jungkook knew him this well, he knew all of Namjoon’s flaws and all of his foolish and undeviating viewpoints right from the very start. He knew how Namjoon viewed the world with such an idealism that was almost comparable to idiocracy.
So really, he can’t defend himself from that.
“Of course I am.” He answers, and even Jungkook is surprised by how calm his words are. “Before they came together, before they were even in love, Jimin and Taehyung are my friends, and more than anything, I love them. Their happiness means the most to me. And they both make each other happy so who am I to come in between that?”
Jungkook looks at him for a long time, full of intent. Namjoon was easily getting flustered being the recipient of such a bold stare, but he can’t leave just yet. He knows that Jungkook still wants to ask more, and he still has to defend both his and Jimin and Taehyung’s honor.
“But hyung,” Jungkook suddenly blurts out. “The universe… it made a mistake.”
Namjoon scowls again. “Are you calling Jimin and Taehyung a mistake?”
“No, not them!” Jungkook shakes his head vigorously. “It’s just, don’t you think that the universe made a mistake when they didn’t make them soulmates?”
Truth be told, Namjoon has indeed thought about that a million times by now. He wonders again and again why the universe made two people such a perfect fit, only for them to end up being destined for someone else. It took him a while to understand, but the answer was quite simple.
Life wasn’t perfect.
The universe refused to make the most perfect fit actual soulmates, simply because life isn’t meant to be easy and perfect. Fairytales didn’t exist, but that doesn’t mean that no one receives a happy ending.
Look at Jimin and Taehyung.
“Actually, no. I don’t think it did.” Namjoon answers solemnly.
Jungkook’s eyes widen almost comically. “What?”
Namjoon takes a deep breath before he answers.
“As absurd as it sounds, the fact that Jimin and Taehyung aren’t soulmates made them stronger. It opened up a deeper well of love between them that—that they were only able to access just because they weren’t literally born for each other.” He reasons out. “The universe not letting them be actual soulmates is the reason why they’re both working out so well—why they’re both so happy. It didn’t make a mistake, Jungkook-ah. The universe knew what it was doing.”
Jungkook’s heart found itself skipping a beat or two. “It knew what it was doing.” He echoes dumbly.
For the second time that night, Jungkook’s entire world tilts. Out of all the people in the world, Jungkook thought Namjoon would agree with him. They might be archenemies, but Jungkook knew his partner well. And this… this man wasn’t him.
He’s monetarily reminded of that interview they did during the book signing last week, if Namjoon still stood by everything he’s written in the past. This, he thinks, is maybe what Namjoon meant by him learning.
“Yes, and if you’re done with interrogating me, I’ll get going now.” Namjoon says, because Jungkook was looking at him all sorts of funny, and it’s weird. He doesn’t know why he feels close to combusting. “Have a good evening, Jungkook-ah.”
With that, Namjoon steps out of the car without even waiting for a reply, and Jungkook is left there in silence, staring at his backside as he enters his lobby and rides the elevator.
The moment Namjoon fades from his view, Jungkook exhales deeply, slumping on his seat. He rubs his temples, already feeling a migraine coming up just from whatever shit this all is.
He honestly couldn’t put his mind into it that Namjoon—zealous, somewhat idealistic, and a strict follower of what’s written by the book—is fucking okay with all of this.
But at the same time, something in Jungkook’s heart cracks.
For so long, he held on to the fact that whatever happens, soulmates are soulmates. Sure, Jungkook is no longer a child. He has seen soulmates not end up with each other, falling apart like any other couple. But Jungkook knows that Jimin and Taehyung introduced each other as their soulmates, and he never even knew that they weren’t actually each other’s fated ones.
It’s not wrong, but Jungkook also couldn’t shake the fact that it’s not right as well.
With a sigh, he drives away from Namjoon’s apartment complex. Even as his own night ends, Jungkook still finds himself skittish on his sheets. He’s left with even more questions than answers the moment Namjoon left his car. But mainly he just wants to ask...
If the universe knew what it was doing, then what happened to you and me?
Chapter 3: three.
Parties weren’t usually Namjoon’s thing, at least, not anymore.
Tonight was an exception it seems. Because Yoongi, for all of his bitchiness when the xerox machine suddenly buzzed twenty decibels louder than usual, suddenly decided to celebrate his birthday thinking he’s sixteen again. He chose a club out of all the fucking places in the city, and Namjoon briefly wonders if he’s actually staring at Yoongi’s doppelgänger or not.
Nevertheless, they’re here. Namjoon is by the bar with the celebrant himself, watching as more of their staff greeted the publisher one by one. Yoongi looks happy, but the moment Seokjin walks in with Jungkook trailing behind him, Namjoon thinks he finally understands why Yoongi wanted to go to a club all of a sudden.
It seems like someone needed some liquid courage, along with an excuse to do some grinding.
With a chuckle, Namjoon tilts his head to Seokjin’s direction. “Go.”
Yoongi’s eyes snap towards him, eyebrows furrowing. “Huh?”
“I know your wanted company has arrived, boss.” Namjoon jokes. “You can leave me be. I always knew you’d leave me for a pretty boy someday.”
Yoong levels him with a scowl, and that only makes Namjoon chuckle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Namjoon brushes him off. “Just go, and enjoy your birthday, hyung. I’ll be here.”
Yoongi opens his mouth to say something, but then his eyes narrow. “You’re not using this as a chance to escape now, are you?”
Namjoon hasn’t even thought of that. “Nah, I promise I’ll be here.”
“Good. If you think of leaving, I’ll up your deadline by a month. Try me.” Yoongi threatens and Namjoon knows it’s not a joke, but a threat. The last time he went against his hyung’s requests, Yoongi ended up doing worse, and Namjoon is still traumatized. “But thanks, Namjoon-ah. See you around.”
Namjoon gulps, smiling teasingly. “Bye, hyung. Enjoy your special day.”
With that, Yoongi rises from his seat, and leaves Namjoon to himself. For the rest of the night, Namjoon isn’t really alone. He sees a few of his other co-workers as well, some of them managing to even drag him to the dance floor for a couple of songs. At some point, he also shared a drink with Jihyo and Nayeon. Everything was going well, but in an hour or two, Namjoon was back to the seat Yoongi left him in. A little tipsy and a little sweaty, but having fun nonetheless.
That was until someone slid into the seat Yoongi occupied before he decided to go ahead and make out with one of his managers.
“Hyung.” The person beside him hums in acknowledgment, and Namjoon tilts his head to the side to see Jungkook looking smoking hot in his yellow top and skin tight jeans. “Hi.”
Namjoon gulps. He’s a little dumbstruck with how gorgeous Jungkook was. Namjoon hasn’t had the chance to really look at him this close until now, and the young writer finds himself a little breathless. Jungkook cleaned up so well, looking absolutely detectable, and holy shit, is that gold eyeshadow?
Jungkook cocks a brow at him, “You okay? Or are you already drunk?”
Speaking of being drunk, Namjoon thinks he needs a drink or probably a whole bottle just to be able to deal with how alluring the little artist was. Namjoon knows that, figuratively, Jungkook is an attractive person. Even he will admit that this isn’t the first time he’d been a little bit mesmerized at how gorgeous the younger man was (cue: Namjoon finds him pretty every day, but he’ll never ever admit that out loud, like over his dead body).
“Nah, do you want a drink?” Namjoon asks, flagging a waiter to get himself and Jungkook, when the younger man nods, some drinks Yoongi had already prepared for his guests beforehand.
Together, Namjoon and Jungkook take several shots. Both of them unable to hold back a grimace over how strong and bitter it was. The air between them is a little tense, but Namjoon is thankful for the booming music, because at least, it isn’t completely awkward.
Until Namjoon can’t stand it anymore.
“So, uhh, Seokjin and Yoongi, huh?”
Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up at Namjoon’s attempt at a conversation. He recovers quickly though, nodding as he takes another shot. “Yeah, hyung doesn’t say much about them. I don’t really know what’s up.”
“Me either.” Namjoon agrees. Yoongi too was pretty tight-lipped about what’s going on between him and Seokjin. “At least they look happy.”
Both Namjoon and Jungkook simultaneously look towards the two men, giggling like teenagers in the middle of the dance floor as they exchange soft kisses. Both Jungkook and Namjoon smirk, they were all too old for this, but they’re cute.
“Do you think they’re soulmates?” Jungkook suddenly asks, and Namjoon’s eyes snap towards him. Jungkook was looking at the pair with a sort of faraway look, before he averted his eyes to Namjoon himself.
“Do they have to be?” Namjoon answers back, looking away because Jungkook was looking at him funny again. And since when was the younger man sitting so close to him? “I mean, like, does it matter? Can’t they be happy even if they aren’t?”
Their conversation about Jimin and Taehyung happened just last night, but Jungkook suddenly feels overwhelmed again.
“You’ve really changed, you know that, hyung?”
Namjoon’s eyes snap towards him sharply. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Jungkook says, “That you really weren’t the same guy you used to be a few years ago.”
“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?” Namjoon couldn’t help but wonder.
“No,” Jungkook replies, “Think of it as like a character development or something. But I’m glad, you know. The way you used to view soulmates… it terrified me at some point.”
Namjoon’s chest tightens. “What?”
Jungkook takes a shot before he speaks again. For such a loud environment, the two of them were having such an intimate conversation. “Can I be brutally honest?”
Exhaling shakily, Namjoon nods. Despite the loud noise, Jungkook’s voice is deep and clear. A part of Namjoon almost wishes that it wasn’t, that he couldn’t hear Jungkook amidst the crowd because it meant that he wouldn’t have to hear what Jungkook has to say. But the young artist was too close, and he’s… here.
“Maybe it’s just me, or maybe because it’s literally my job to analyze every single one of your beautiful words,” Needing some liquid courage, Jungkook takes a few sips of his drink as he talks. “But you used to hold your soulmate up in such a high regard, you know. You thought of them as if they were this perfect and godly person, that I didn’t know whether to be scared for them or to be scared for you.”
The honesty has Namjoon’s throat closing. Jungkook’s words washed over him like a harsh tsunami. “Was I really that bad?”
“I don’t know,” Jungkook answers. “To your readers, it might seem like a fairytale. Your words are so beautiful, so magical. But I believe that at some point, you genuinely thought of everything as a fairytale, and I just… don’t really know if it’s a good thing outside of your books.”
Namjoon’s bottom lip begins to tremble. He doesn’t know why but he suddenly feels the need to cry. He tries to tell himself that what Jungkook is telling him is merely constructive criticism, but deep inside, he knows that it isn’t. Jungkook knows him. Out of all the people in the world, it’s Jungkook who knows the shape of his own puzzle piece. All his crevices and dips—all his flaws and imperfections.
“I don’t know what to say.” Namjoon wanted to shrink in on himself. “Maybe I really did get my head stuck in the books. Maybe I was really a little naive and stupid.”
“Don’t say that.” Jungkook retorts immediately. “You weren’t stupid. Your books and words were wonderful, it’s why people love you. Maybe I’m just overanalyzing it or something. But I’ve always loved your books, still do, to be honest. I still give them to all my friends and family every christmas.”
The sentiment has Namjoon smiling a bit. He reaches out for a drink, now more than ever does he desperately want to drink his heart out. “Thanks.”
For a moment, a long stretch of silence settles between them. Both men are simply trading drinks faster than they’ve drank for the past two hours. A part of Jungkook feels a little guilty for suddenly throwing all that to Namjoon. Now, the man looked like he just wanted to curl up on his bed. Jungkook opens his mouth to apologize, he didn’t mean for Namjoon to feel bad.
“Hyung, look. I’m sorry for—”
But before Jungkook could get a chance to apologize, another person unceremoniously shows up. Both men’s heads snap towards the newcomer, and when Jungkook sees exactly who it is, his mood immediately sours.
Of course, it had to be him.
Like a flipped switch, Namjoon suddenly regains his smile as the newcomer walks straight up to him. With open arms, he receives the man with a warm hug, and Jungkook can only grit his jaw in annoyance as Namjoon snuggles against the man’s hold.
“Oh I’ve missed you so much.” The man says, pulling back just so he could squish Namjoon’s cheeks. A privilege Jungkook never had. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Hobi,” Namjoon squirms while half-giggling, undoubtedly getting shy at all the attention he was receiving. “I’ve missed you too. I didn’t know you were gonna come tonight.”
“Oh I asked Yoongi hyung not to tell you,” Hoseok pokes his cheek, and even that results in an ugly green monster to simmer in between Jungkook’s chest. “I just came back two days ago. I told him I wanted to surprise you.”
Just like that, Namjoon smiles, bright and wide. It’s as if he already forgot about their conversation… as if he'd just forgotten about Jungkook.
“Oh, Kook! Hey, dude, how have you been?” This time, Hoseok directs his attention towards the artist. With a forced smile, Jungkook greets his hyung back. He tries his best not to grimace when Hoseok leans up for a hug.
“I’m great, hyung. It’s nice to see you.” Jungkook chokes out, praying he looks friendly. “How have you been though? How’s Finland for you?”
Hoseok grins, and Namjoon does the liberty of ordering a drink for all three of them as he shares his stories about Finland. He sits in between Jungkook and Namjoon, much closer to the author, and Jungkook wonders if Namjoon will forgive him if Jungkook suddenly sits on his lap like a bunny wanting to claim his territory.
Wow, I must be drunker than I thought I am, Jungkook thinks to himself. But I need more if I’m going to deal with Hoseok.
It wasn’t that Hoseok was a bad man. He’s actually really nice and cool. He’s handsome, and he’s a pretty good hyung too. The only thing Jungkook didn’t like about him is his history with Namjoon.
Hoseok and Namjoon used to date.
Jungkook remembers that time clearly. It’s been about half a year since things started to change between him and Namjoon, when the author suddenly acted indifferent towards him. For so long, Jungkook wondered what he did wrong. He tried so hard to regain his previous connection with his hyung, but he stopped trying the moment he found out about Hoseok and Namjoon. It was his turn to avoid him.
Hoseok was a writer and photographer for travel books, thus, his frequent journeys overseas. Unlike Jungkook and Namjoon who was mostly based in Seoul, sans their short overseas tours for book fairs and book signings, Hoseok was always on the go. It was that very reason why Hoseok and Namjoon broke up a year after they started dating.
That, and the fact that they weren’t soulmates, Jungkook thinks with unfounded smugness. As if that would give me a chance.
Jungkook wants to defend himself and say that he really isn’t a jealous person, nor does he have a reason to be jealous. But it’s so hard. Namjoon and him used to be so close, and even before, he’d always found Namjoon so goddamn attractive.
And don’t even get him started on how the writer looked tonight.
Jungkook guesses that he has Jimin and Taehyung to thank because those two are the ones who got his hyung ready for tonight’s event. Clad in leather (leather!) pants, the man looked nothing short of stunning as he paired his skin tight pants with a polka dotted black and white blouse. It’s a good thing only Seokjin saw him mildly drooling the moment they came in.
And this, seeing him act like this with Hoseok, so free and touchy, it made Jungkook’s skin crawl in annoyance. Because why did Namjoon not like him? Why can’t he act like this with Jungkook? Even when they broke up, the two still opted to remain friends, and Namjoon has never lost his fondness over the other man.
Why can’t Jungkook have Namjoon the way Hoseok had him once?
“Uh Jungkook-ah, I think you need to tone it down a little on the alcohol.” Namjoon says, and Jungkook didn’t even notice that he’d been downing the shots successively the more Hoseok sat with them.
“M’fine,” He grits out, annoyed that Hoseok was now half-sitting on Namjoon’s lap, all of Namjoon’s attention on him. “Actually, excuse me for a while.”
Unable to stand them anymore, Jungkook gets up from his seat to go to the dance floor. He could already feel himself getting dizzy due to the influx of alcohol in his system in such a short amount of time. He powers through it though, the loud buzz of the music ringing in his ears and he sees some of his friends so he dances with them.
Namjoon looks over at him with slight worry as he sees Jungkook stumble very briefly on his step. He’s seen how the younger man suddenly chugged down his drinks as if he was on a marathon.
But Jungkook is Jungkook, and he keeps his calm as he reaches their friends. He sees him dancing with them, and Namjoon’s eyebrows couldn’t help but furrow as a beautiful woman comes by and sticks close to Jungkook. Namjoon recognizes her, she’s one of the members of their staff, Sana.
From worry, Namjoon’s face shifts to disdain as this beautiful couple begins grinding against the dance floor. He’s only half listening to Hoseok, eyes mostly fixated on the half drunk man as he loops his arms around Sana’s waist. Jungkook catches his glaring eyes for a moment, and Namjoon thinks he caught the young man smirking at him. Or maybe he’s just a little too drunk already.
Either way, Namjoon doesn’t like it. At all.
“Careful, you’re going to burn holes on his face if you don’t stop glaring.”
Namjoon’s eyes snap towards Hoseok, the man’s heart shaped lips are pulled into a teasing smirk.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says even though his eyes flit to Sana and Jungkook again. He keeps on thinking about how good they look together. Both gorgeous and achingly sexy.
“Sure, you don’t.” Hoseok snorts, no hint of bitterness on his face. “I honestly thought that by the time I come back, the sexual tension between the two of you would finally be resolved.”
Namjoon reddens instantaneously. “What—what the fuck are you talking about?”
“Oh come on,” Hoseok chuckles. Namjoon’s denial face was making him laugh. “I know you, Joon. You can’t fool me.”
Namjoon shakes his head vigorously. “I seriously don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Whatever you say, Joonie,” Hoseok teases, eyes glinting mischievously as he sips his own drink. “But we all know how you look at Jungkook, and how Jungkook looks back at you. Despite whatever rivalry you both have going on, we all can see the truth, Namjoon-ah.”
Namjoon’s eyes widen. He didn’t know Hoseok would come back from Finland a little delusional.
“I,” He chokes out, feeling as if he’s put on the spot. “Whatever.”
Hoseok grins knowingly, sitting back on his chair so close to his ex-boyfriend. Despite their separation, Hoseok has never lost his fondness for Namjoon. They were a good pair, they just couldn’t handle a relationship while their careers respectively blew up.
“When will you both finally be honest with yourselves?” Hoseok asks rhetorically.
But Namjoon gives him an answer anyways. “It doesn’t matter, he’s not my soulmate.”
Hoseok cocks a brow. Namjoon had just inadvertently revealed himself. It doesn’t matter. Meaning, there is something going in there.
“Let me correct that for you,” Hoseok says, trying to trek the subject correctly. He wonders if Namjoon is maybe drunk enough to finally be honest with himself. “It doesn’t matter if he’s not your soulmate. We’ve been through this with Jimin and Taehyung.”
Right. Namjoon remembers that he was with Hoseok by the time he dealt with Jimin and Taehyung. It was this man right here who listened to his every rant about that. Hoseok had been there to genuinely converse with him, and help him come to terms with their situation after having all his beliefs shaken up.
“No I mean, I haven’t met my soulmate yet, and I don’t know if Jungkook’s already met his own.” Namjoon reasons out. “It’s just not fair.”
Not fair. There’s a lot of things that aren't fair. It’s not fair how much Namjoon dreams about his soulmate, and yet is still ought to meet them. It’s not fair how unhappy he is—not fair how the universe was still depriving him of the one thing he yearns for so desperately. It’s also not fair how good Jungkook and Sana look together, as they dance with barely any space between them. How perfect they seem as they take shot after shot, exchanging giggles like teenagers.
“Namjoon-ah,” Hoseok calls for his attention again, pulling his face back to look at him. “We both know that if there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Unfortunately though, Jungkook is also watching them from the corner of his eyes. He felt Namjoon’s glare at him, and he can’t help but feel a little smug about that. He was indeed putting on a show, just to see how far he can push his hyung.
But the moment Hoseok tilts Namjoon’s head, Jungkook suddenly panics. Were they going to kiss? Are they getting back together?
“I don’t—” Namjoon says, but before he can find the right words to say, someone suddenly plops unto his side, the one not occupied by Hoseok.
“Hey, I’m b-back.” Jungkook pants out, as if he just ran a mile. Namjoon’s eyes widened, the young man stumbled in his step, almost planting his face on Namjoon’s lap.
“Holy shit, Jungkook-ah.” Namjoon pulls him up properly, more worried than annoyed. “Hey, what the fuck, are you okay?”
Jungkook offers him a cheeky grin, brushing off his hair from his own sweaty forehead.
“Yes, of course I am.” He says flippantly. “I’m done dancing though. My world’s spinning a-already.”
For a moment, Namjoon turns back to where Jungkook was just dancing with Sana less than a second ago. He sees the girl already moving on with another dance partner. Huh.
“I—” Namjoon gets up from his seat. “I’ll get you some water, just stay there.”
“I’ll be here, hyungie.” Jungkook mutters, eyes looking a little hazy. “I’ll wait for you.” The brat even dares to wink.
“Whatever.” Namjoon marches to the bar, quickly obtaining a glass of water much to Hoseok’s amusement. The photographer grins from his seat, sipping his own drink as he offers Jungkook a tissue to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. In his eyes, things just got a whole lot interesting.
When Namjoon comes back, he hands over two glasses of water for the young artist. Jungkook gulps down both easily.
“So, what a-are you guys talking about?” Jungkook asks once Namjoon sits in between him and Hoseok again. If Jungkook scooted a little closer, then he’s thankful Namjoon didn’t say a single word.
“Soulmates.” Hoseok answers for him. “We’re talking about soulmates.”
“Oooh and what about them?” Jungkook looks interested, before grinning cheekily. “Have you met yours in Finland, hyung-nim?”
Please, Jungkook wants to say out loud. I hope you already met yours so you would leave Namjoon alone.
“Ah, not yet, Kook.” Hoseok says, “Actually, we were talking about Namjoon’s soulmate.”
Namjoon was surprised with how bluntly Hoseok said it. He was just about to take a sip of his own drink, but he promptly placed the glass back down after his fingers trembled.
“And what about hyung’s s-soulmate?” Jungkook’s tone suddenly turned serious. He turns to his partner. “Did you find them already?”
Namjoon sighs. “No, of course you know I haven’t yet.” He unceremoniously lifts his wrist that had no sort of hindrance tonight. It’s still bland, almost mocking him.
“We were just talking about how Namjoon’s soulmate would want him happy.” Hoseok interjects, concealing a smirk at Jungkook’s puppy dog eyes as he looks at the writer.
“Oh.” Jungkook mutters, almost in relief.
“Would you agree with me though, Jungkook-ah?” Hoseok suddenly asks, a little too pushy. But with good reasons, of course. “Hypothetically speaking, let’s say you were Namjoon’s soulmate… you’d want him to be happy at all costs, right?”
Namjoon’s eyes snap towards Hoseok, glaring at the smirking man in question for his outspokenness. He was just about to chastise him, but Jungkook falls right into Hoseok’s trap.
“Hmm, let me think.” Jungkook sounds like he’s genuinely mulling about it. “Of course I would. But more than anything, I’d maybe want the chance to be the one to make him happy. B-but if it’s not with me, then yeah,” He looks at Namjoon, and not for the first time, he’s overwhelmed with the need to poke his dimples. “Anything to make Joonie hyung smile.”
Actually, just for tonight, Jungkook gives in to the urge. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s just the Jungkook in him. He pokes the writer’s dimples, and Namjoon inhales sharply.
“Jungkook-ah,” The writer sighs. It’s been years since he last heard Jungkook call him ‘Joonie’. “You’re drunk.”
“Mhm,” Jungkook hums in confirmation. “I do feel a little woozy.”
“If you puke on me, I swear to god—”
“Wow, who knew you were such a romantic, Jungkookie.” Hoseok suddenly interrupts, because Jungkook didn’t just fall right into his trap… the young man dived straight in. “Joon, wouldn’t you want a soulmate like Jungkookie?”
Now, it was Namjoon’s turn.
“Hyung won’t. Hyung d-doesn’t like me.” Jungkook answers for him. Even though his tone is nonchalant, he looks down, seemingly shrinking on himself. “I can’t be Joonie hyung’s soulmate.”
For god knows what reason—whether it’s because he doesn’t want to see that sad look on Jungkook’s face or maybe, he does believe it’s the truth—Namjoon shakes his head vehemently. “Hey, that’s not—”
“Why would you say that, Jungkook-ah?” Hoseok cuts him off, the curiosity getting the best of him. “Don’t you want Namjoon as your soulmate?”
He’s not stupid. Even from the time he and Namjoon were dating, Hoseok wasn’t as oblivious as Namjoon, and he knew how Jungkook looked at his then boyfriend.
“It doesn’t matter what I want.” Jungkook chuckles humorlessly, eyes flitting to the dancing crowd. “I’ll never be good enough to be hyung’s soulmate. I—I’m not what he wants.”
The self-deprecating way Jungkook said it has Namjoon reeling. A part of him shatters for the boy. Even though he knows that Jungkook isn’t his soulmate, Namjoon still hurts because even if he denies it, Jungkook would undoubtedly be a lovely soulmate.
“And what do you think Namjoon wants then?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon is thankful because his tongue is suddenly not working anymore.
“I don’t know.” With a drunken slur, Jungkook answers back. “Just not me.” Before looking straight into Namjoon’s eyes, and that just breaks him in entirety.
“Damn, you make it sound like Namjoon’s standards are so high.” Hoseok tried to joke when the air suddenly felt heavier. Hoseok’s a little torn if he wants to push more or end it here. Just one last shot though. “What about me, do you think I’ll be a good soulmate for Joonie?”
Just like that, the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes is hurriedly replaced by panic. He shakes his head, and surprising both him and Namjoon, the young artist suddenly gets up, only to plop himself right on top of Namjoon’s lap.
Oh my god.
Namjoon’s eyes widen. “Jungkook, what the—”
“You can’t!” Jungkook screams defensively, wrapping his arms around Namjoon leaving the writer with no choice but to hold him by the waist. “Hyung’s birth flower is not y-your birthday.”
Something in Hoseok is urging him to push. Just a little more and whatever dance these two are doing will finally come to an end.
“But what if I was,” Hoseok bravely asks, and Namjoon just glares at him exasperatedly. “What if I wanted to be Namjoon’s soulmate, do you think I’d be good enough for him?” Then he turns to Namjoon. “Do you think I’d be good for you, Joonie?”
Namjoon honestly didn’t know what to say without hurting either Jungkook or Hoseok. “I-I—” He shakes his head instead, enough is enough. “You know what, this conversation is too much. Let’s—”
“You can’t take hyung.” Jungkook suddenly piques up, arms tightening around Namjoon’s neck. His voice sounds wholly emotional, as if he’s about to burst out crying the moment Hoseok even touches Namjoon. “H-He’s not yours.”
“And what, he’s yours?” Call him cruel, but Jungkook is so close to where Hoseok wants them both to go. Hoseok will just apologize to them some other time, but he actually thinks they’ll both be thanking him soon. For one last time, he directs his attention to his ex, watching as Jungkook hides him protectively. “Namjoon-ah, I want to be your soulmate. We could be just like Jimin and Taehyung. Would you like that too?”
Placed on the spot like that, Namjoon splutters. “I-I—”
But he doesn’t even get to say a word. Not when Jungkook cries out,
“No! No, you can’t!” He glares furiously at Hoseok. Beyond the jealousy and possessiveness, Hoseok saw the fear in Jungkook’s drunken eyes. It’s real. “Hyungie is mine. You can’t take him away from me! No—not again.”
Namjoon freezes from underneath Jungkook’s hold, his whole world ceasing to spin as Jungkook’s words sink in. He says the words almost petulantly, nearly begging, but Namjoon can hear the sincerity. Jungkook might be drunk, but his words are coming straight from his goddamn heart.
Namjoon honestly wishes he knew what to do, or what to say even. All that’s left running inside his head is the panic and the haze, because he’s tipsy too, but not drunk enough for this conversation.
What in the world do I fucking do?
“Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon finally breathes out. He doesn’t know if he wants to scream or if he wants to cry. All he knows is that he can’t be here anymore. “I-I think you’re drunk. Come on, you have to go home.”
“No, I don’t want to, I want to stay here w-with you.” Drunk Jungkook was a little childish, pouting petulantly as he squeezed Namjoon tighter in his possessive arms. “Hobi hyung might take you away from me. A-again.”
Before Hoseok can even defend himself, it’s Namjoon who takes control.
“Hobi won’t,” He says firmly, almost reassuring. “You know what, I’ll take you home. Hoseok-ah, can you help me call an Uber?”
It takes Hoseok a few seconds to snap out of his shock, but he nods quickly. “Yeah, yeah, just a sec.”
They don’t bid their goodbyes to anyone anymore. Hoseok calls them a car, and Namjoon tells him to say goodbye to everyone on behalf of the two of them. He hauls Jungkook up to his feet, and he’s quite surprised at how difficult it was to even get him to stand up straight. Jungkook was way drunker than he thought.
He half carries the boy to the car. The moment they settle inside their ride, Jungkook shamelessly plasters himself to Namjoon’s side, swinging a leg over his lap. His eyes automatically fall shut, a content smile on his lips, and Namjoon doesn’t have the heart to push him away despite his own difficulty to goddamn breathe.
Thankfully, the ride wasn’t too long. Namjoon thinks if he had to stare at Jungkook’s beautiful face for another five minutes, he might finally combust. When they both arrive at Jungkook’s house, he pulls the boy inside, taking off their shoes with a few hardships since Jungkook kept on whining about how he was already comfortable, about how hyung, I want to sleep, I wanna keep cuddling with you.
It isn’t Namjoon’s first time in Jungkook’s house, so he easily leads them to the master bedroom. The moment Jungkook’s back hits his mattress, Jungkook snuggles onto his pillows. He’s barely awake, and Namjoon is thankful that he could probably slip out easily now.
“Hyung,” Jungkook groans just as Namjoon was about to leave. “I don’t want to sleep in these, t-take them off.”
With fumbling fingers, Jungkook was trying to unbuckle his belt. It’s proven unsuccessful as his eyes weren’t even open. With a sigh, Namjoon helps him take it off. Jungkook slips off his top easily, and Namjoon forces himself not to look at his tattooed torso, unwilling to take advantage.
He pulls off Jungkook’s jeans with a few curses. Jungkook was getting skittish, just wanting to sleep and putting up a fight. and Namjoon had to pull in different areas just because drunk Jungkook was making it his mission to make Namjoon’s life significantly harder. But alas, Namjoon manages to get them off.
As he stripped off Jungkook’s jeans, however, Namjoon was completely unprepared for a stinging sensation to shoot out from his left wrist. He gasps, it didn’t hurt much, but it felt like a low burn, impossible to ignore. With furrowed brows, Namjoon wondered if he scratched himself along Jungkook’s zipper or something. To his complete and absolute astonishment, however, he sees no wound or scratch on his left wrist.
He only sees his tiger flower tattoo starting to bloom.
Namjoon jumps off of Jungkook’s bed with a yelp, landing himself on the hardwood floor. His face pales as he watches the flower gradually be filled with color. With trembling knees, Namjoon tries to get up and understand what the fuck this means because there is no fucking way this was actually happening to him.
But alas, there it was.
Amidst the numerous swirls in his body, Jungkook’s own soulmate tattoo was prominent since it was gradually being filled with a purple hue. It was right there on his left thigh, just below his hip bone. His boxers barely managed to cover them up, but despite the low light of the room, Namjoon sees it perfectly clear as the flower on Jungkook’s skin blooms into color.
It’s a clematis.
Oxygen was getting scarce. Namjoon’s throat was closing up and he knew he was crying going by the way his vision blurred with tears. He’s on the verge of a panic attack, his breathing is becoming uneven and his ears are ringing, the only thing repeating in them is the fact that Jungkook is my soulmate. Jungkook is my fucking soulmate. My soulmate is actually Jungkook.
With a staggering breath, Namjoon gets up and just runs. Now more than ever does he want to scream and cry, and maybe punch the wall. He flees Jungkook's house without even tying his shoes properly. He runs until he reaches the end of the street, and only then does Namjoon allow himself to bellow and sob pathetically.
Thank god it’s way past midnight, and no one was around to see him break down against a giant tree. He can’t fucking believe it. All along… it was Jungkook. He knows he should be happy, but especially after what happened tonight, Namjoon doesn’t think he even has a reason to. All he can do is just cry, and cry, and cry, because the universe just decided to play its most cruel joke on its biggest believer.
This wasn’t how Namjoon dreamt of meeting his soulmate, and if this was how it would actually end up… Namjoon wishes he never even met Jungkook at all.
Chapter 4: four.
Six feet tall, and Kim Namjoon is filled with nothing but fluff.
Jimin and Taehyung has proven time and time again that Namjoon is nothing but a gigantic, pouty, and a little dorky teddy bear that just wanted all the hugs the world had to offer.
They just wish though that it didn’t have to be like this.
“Hyungie,” Jimin croaked out. He hasn’t stopped crying ever since Namjoon called them at four in the morning asking them to pick him up in the most broken voice he has ever heard from him. “Come on Joonie, you have to eat.”
Namjoon shakes his head petulantly, his red and puffy eyes still looking dazed out just like how Jimin and Taehyung found him sitting on the gutter two streets away from Jungkook’s house. “M’not hungry.”
“Hyung, you haven’t eaten breakfast or even lunch.” Taehyung gently says, running his fingers through Namjoon’s hair as he buries his face on his hyung’s neck, willing himself not to cry because all three of them can’t be crying at the same time. “Please, hyungie. Eat something, will you?”
Still, Namjoon is stubborn. Besides, he feels as if he’s just going to throw it all up. “I can’t, I’m sorry I really can’t.”
Jimin sighs, a sob choking its way out of his throat. Park Jimin had always loved fiercely, and to see one of the people he loved the most, right next to Taehyung, hurting like this… the pain is incomprehensible.
“Okay, hyungie, do you want to rest instead?” Jimin says, offering him a gentle smile as he koala hugs his hyung from the other side. They haven’t left him for a single minute the entire day. Even when Namjoon finally caught on some sleep this morning, they were still there, cuddling the shit out of their most favorite hyung in the world.
“I’m fine. I just want to lay down.”
Both Jimin and Taehyung sigh simultaneously. Namjoon hasn’t even explained to them what happened, all he did was pull up his wrist to show them that it’s now colored. Guessing from Namjoon’s current state though, it seems that meeting his soulmate didn’t go exactly as planned.
“Alright, hyung, come here.” Both Jimin and Taehyung make their way to bed, on either side of Namjoon. But just before Namjoon could get comfortable, his phone suddenly rings.
“Hyung, I don’t know—”
“No.” Namjoon cuts Taehyung off, eyes hard. “Don’t answer it.”
“But Joonie,” Jimin reasons out. “Jungkook has been calling you the whole day.”
It’s true. Jungkook has been blasting his phone ever since the afternoon rolled in, and Namjoon could only guess that he’d just woken up to the sight of his colored tattoo. At some point, Namjoon’s phone died despite his insistence on not answering. Taehyung only charged it recently and that’s why it’s ringing again.
“Put it on silent mode.” Namjoon doesn’t even spare it a look. “I don’t want to talk to him.”
Jimin gulps, Namjoon sounded too rigid and harsh. He knows reasoning with him will be fruitless.
“Okay.” With no choice, Jimin follows his hyung’s orders, sending a silent apology to Jungkook, before cuddling back with an even more upset looking Namjoon. “Come here, hyungie. Let’s rest.”
Whatever happened, both Jimin and Taehyung hoped things would turn out to be alright. They just can’t stand seeing Namjoon this sad anymore.
Tasked to buy some ice cream in a nearby convenience store, Jimin is completely surprised that the moment he stepped into Namjoon’s apartment lobby, Jungkook was sat there with gigantic bags lining his eyes and his dishevelled hair completely in disarray.
Despite his bleary and mildly wet eyes, Jungkook suddenly becomes alert at the sound of his name. He looks to where the sound came from, relief flooding unto him as he runs over to Jimin.
“Jimin hyung.” Jungkook exclaims, and Jimin is surprised with how scratchy his voice sounded like. “Where’s Namjoon hyung, please, I need to talk to him.”
“Jungkook, what—” Jimin asks bewilderedly. “Have you been here the whole time?”
He also noticed how Jungkook looked like he lacked a good night of sleep, and of how red rimmed his eyes actually were.
“I went home last night, I mean the guard kicked me out.” Jungkook says, a little ashamed. “But where is hyung? Is he okay? C-Can I talk to him, please?”
The desperation in Jungkook’s voice has Jimin even more baffled. “He,” He sighs out, remembering how Namjoon refused to even answer his calls. “He doesn’t want to talk to you, I’m sorry.”
Just like that, Jungkook’s entire demeanour drops. He looked like his entire world just fell apart.
“Hyung.” He reaches up slowly, clasping Jimin by the forearms. “Please, please, please let me talk to him. Please tell him that I can explain.”
So many questions are running through Jimin’s head. He looks at Jungkook intently, noticing how he looked very similar to Namjoon’s current state.
“Jungkook, what even happened?” He couldn’t help but ask. “I thought you guys were okay, you two even went home together after dinner last Friday.”
The younger man looks down.
“It’s—it’s a long story.” He says, before shaking his head. “But please, Jimin hyung, I need to talk to him first. I’m begging you.”
Pity begins to fill Jimin’s heart. He might be Namjoon’s best friend, but Jungkook was no stranger to him. He knew that Jungkook was a good guy, neither him nor Namjoon deserved to be so sad.
But unfortunately, “Kookie, that’s not really up to me. I’m sorry.”
Jungkook shakes him a little harshly, and Jimin only pouts. “Hyung, please. Please, at least tell him that we need to talk. Please. Just tell him I’m here.”
Too soft as he was, Jimin could only sigh. He gives in, for both Jungkook and Namjoon’s sake.
“Okay.” He says, gently prying off Jungkook’s hands off of him to return to the elevator. “I’ll be back, I’ll tell him you’re here.”
Jungkook’s eyes filled with hope, and Jimin prays that he wouldn’t have to crush it. “Thank you, hyung. Thank you so much.”
With that, Jimin rushes back to Namjoon’s floor, no ice cream on hand.
“He’s what?” Namjoon exclaims, eyes wide and annoyed.
“He’s down there, hyung. I think he’s been here since yesterday and he only went home last night when the guard kicked him out.” Jimin explains, and even Taehyung looked surprised.
Namjoon’s jaw clenches. “I don’t want to see him.”
Jimin sighs, trying to find a way to approach this, because it’s clear that something is up between the two of them, and they’re both miserable over it.
“Hyung,” Jimin steps forward to pat his forearms, rubbing circles on his shoulder. “You can’t keep running away. It’s hurting you as much as it’s hurting him.”
Stubbornly, Namjoon’s jaw remains clenched, unwilling to give in. Jimin looks to Taehyung for help.
“Look, Joonie. We won’t pry, we know you’ll tell us when you’re ready.” As always, Taehyung is quick to support his soulmate. “But please, for your own sake. You’ve been moping here for two days. I think it’s best if you both talk.”
All of a sudden, Namjoon shakes his head, his face looking more nervous than angry. “No, you both d-don’t get it. I don’t think I can talk to him.”
“But you know that you have to.” Jimin reasons out. “Don’t be scared, Joonie. It’s just Jungkook. He’s just your partner.”
Namjoon almost scoffs, if only it was that simple. They both didn’t know that he wasn’t just Jungkook anymore. He was now Namjoon’s soulmate. Someone who… who possibly didn’t want him.
“Fine.” Namjoon says. He deduces that if Jungkook was here to break his heart, he better just rip off the band-aid all at once. “Send him up here.”
Jimin and Taehyung catch each other’s eyes, both of them silently wondering if this was a bright idea. But alas, Taehyung nods.
“Alright, we’ll leave you two alone for a while.” He then reaches up for Jimin’s hands. “C’mon Jimin, let’s go get some ice cream.”
By the time Jungkook reaches his apartment, Namjoon is already waiting for him by his entryway.
Namjoon honestly looked like he was about to dig a hole on his own flooring as he paces around, waiting, and he, honest to god, jumps when the doorbell rings.
He doesn’t even bother fixing his appearance, knowing it’s not going to make any difference. And when he opens the door to see a mirror of a mess that he currently was, Namjoon thinks it was for the best.
“Hyung.” Jungkook croaks out, voice already sounding like it was about to break down. The man looked like he wanted to jump into Namjoon’s arms, eyes already teary and they’ve barely exchanged a word.
“Jungkook.” Namjoon says coldly, opening his door even wider to send the signal that he can come in.
“I’m sorry.” Is what Jungkook says the moment he enters Namjoon’s apartment, taking off his shoes in a rush. “Joonie hyung, I’m so fucking sorry.”
So no time for pleasantries then.
“You’re sorry for what?” Namjoon asks, shutting his door a little too harshly.
Jungkook doesn’t respond to that immediately. Instead, his eyes flitted from one place to another, whether in nervousness or fear, Namjoon didn’t know. “I’m sorry I’m your s-soulmate.”
That, Namjoon wasn’t expecting. He’s caught off guard, and he tries so badly not to be heartbroken about that yet, but he thinks he can already hear the corners of his heart cracking.
“Now why on earth would you be sorry about that?”
“I’m just… I’m sorry.” Jungkook said rushedly, hoping to defend himself when Namjoon’s eyes turned cold. “I know this isn’t how you dreamt of meeting your soulmate. I know that you’ve been waiting for so fucking long, and I’m sorry I ruined it for you by hiding this. I’m so sorry I—”
“Wait, wait, you—” Namjoon had to cut him off. He pinpoints a crucial piece of information. “You purposely hid this from me?”
Jungkook pauses, before he nods once, looking down, and Namjoon finds himself gradually getting agitated.
“S-so you knew?” Namjoon asks, his voice is getting higher and thicker with emotion. “You knew it all along?”
Jungkook nods again, just barely, but Namjoon swore that his entire world fell apart with just that single bob of his head.
“You knew and you purposely didn’t tell me.” He says bitterly, tears suddenly returning to his eyes. All along he thought that maybe Jungkook hadn’t confirmed it yet, maybe he was just biding his time, or maybe he was just as clueless as Namjoon. Perhaps, he was also scared. If he was scared of either they were or they weren’t in fact soulmates, Namjoon didn’t know.
(Although both realities held a certain weight, Namjoons thinks it would have hurt either way.)
But never did he think that Jungkook would purposefully hide the truth from him, especially when he knew how much Namjoon yearned for his destiny. Namjoon never thought Jungkook would lie about something that means the world to him.
“You knew we were soulmates!” He accuses, voice raising the more aggravated he got. “How long have you known, huh?”
“I-I—” Jungkook stammers, holding back a whimper because Namjoon sounded so mad at him. Never had Namjoon looked at him with this much hatred. “I had a feeling we were b-because of our birth flowers. But, yeah, I feel like I’ve always known. I—I always knew it was you.”
I always knew, Jungkook wanted to say even further. I always knew because I could feel it whenever I’m with you. But he knows it’s all meaningless, for his words bring no consolation to the writer. As a matter of fact, Namjoon thinks his heart shattered even more. Heart and trust broken by that one man Namjoon was supposed to call his other half.
“You knew and you didn’t tell me.” He says, before the anger morphs into pure and raw anguish. The words scratch his throat like a pile of nails, and he thinks he won’t be able to forgive Jungkook for this for quite some time. “You purposefully blinded me.”
Namjoon curls up, bending over a nearby table due to the intensity of emotions he was feeling. He looked and felt like he wanted to break down and cry. Maybe he was mistaken all along, maybe Jungkook wasn’t the person who knew him best. Because if Jungkook did, surely he wouldn’t be this evil to him. Surely, he wouldn’t hide from him that one thing Namjoon has been looking for his entire life.
“Why would you do that?” He sobs out, gritting his teeth as tears drip down his face. His eyes hold nothing but pain and anger. A sense of betrayal curling right in the middle of his chest. He wants to scream so many things at Jungkook, ask him where he went wrong at what he did that warranted such a punishment for him.
Namjoon feels completely and utterly broken.
However, Jungkook didn’t look any better. His bottom lip quivers into a sad pout, tears falling from his eyes at a rapid pace the more he stared at Namjoon slowly reaching his tipping point. “I-It’s hard to explain.”
But Namjoon wasn’t having that bullshit. Jungkook owed him answers.
“Do you hate me that much, Jungkook-ah?” He spat out angrily, and Jungkook whimpered in response. “Did you honestly hate me so much that you refused to give me that one thing I’ve been yearning for so badly for my whole life?”
A part of Namjoon knows he sounded desperate, if not, pathetic. But he’s so, so betrayed. He feels as if Jungkook had played such a horrible game on him, laughing behind his lonely back when he knew where to find that one thing Namjoon was looking for all along.
The younger man shakes his head violently in disagreement. He tries to approach Namjoon instinctively, but the author pulls away before he could even take a step forward. Jungkook’s heart breaks again.
“No, hyung, no, no.” He says in an attempt to soothe both him and Namjoon as if his words can offer any refuge at this point. “God, no, please listen to me.”
However, Namjoon’s vision was turning red. He was so angry and devastated, and right now, all he could think of was the fact that Jungkook must have truly hated him to play such a cruel joke on him.
“All I ever wanted was to find my soulmate. You, out of all the people in the world, knew how much I wanted to find them.” Namjoon grits out through his teeth, voice raising a few decibels again. “Jungkook-ah, if you didn’t want me, then you could have at least given me closure. If you h-hated me so much, then you could have at least told me and we both could have come to terms with it years ago. Maybe by now then, we both could have moved on in peace than whatever shit this is!”
While just the thought of Jungkook not wanting him already hurt Namjoon’s heart immensely, he still keeps his face tight, even as his jaw trembles in an effort to hold back his sobs. It’s another heartbreak that Namjoon knows would feel worse than this betrayal, and Namjoon doesn’t think he can survive another blow that hard.
Thankfully, Jungkook didn’t agree. “No—that’s not! Hyung, I want you. I wanted you as my soulmate from the moment I met you.” He says, unable to stop himself from crying out. “Please don’t think otherwise.”
In some other scenarios, Namjoon might find the words romantic. Something about Jungkook wanting him should have made his heart swell. But right now, they all sound senseless—absolutely meaningless. They only filled Namjoon’s heart with dread because this, this isn’t something you would do to a person you supposedly wanted.
“Then why?!” He yells. “Why would you lie to me? Why would you keep this from me, Jungkook?”
Jungkook wraps his trembling arms around himself. He feels pitiful, so sad that his own soulmate looked like he hated him. So sad that he had hurt the person he was meant for like this.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
“Because,” Jungkook sniffles, deciding to be honest because his heart can’t take it anymore. He can’t stand another minute where Namjoon looked at him like that. “I didn’t know if you would want me.”
Namjoon inhales sharply, his entire world freezing. “What?”
Jungkook gulps, the words spilling out of him like a dam in a desperate effort to keep his soulmate. He momentarily weighed his chances of either remaining silent or speaking up the truth, and Jungkook figured that both entailed a significant set of consequences, but he might just have a better chance of Namjoon staying with the latter.
“I told you didn’t I? I’ve told you before what I thought of how you view soulmates. I’ve told you that I didn’t know if I should be afraid for you or for them.” Jungkook points out, reminding Namjoon of their conversation at the bar. “I was so scared, hyung. I was so scared that I wasn’t going to meet your expectations for a soulmate. I was so scared of failing you.”
Even as Jungkook says it, the fear is evident in his eyes. He looked like he was imagining his worst nightmare. The insecurities that built within him as the years went by flew out of the surface the more he spoke. Insecurities that not only Namjoon unconsciously helped create, but insecurities Jungkook sadly allowed himself to build.
If Namjoon was so afraid of being lonely until the day he met his soulmate, then Jungkook was terrified of being lonely from the day he met his own.
Like a piercing arrow, Jungkook’s words shoot straight into Namjoon’s already broken heart. “Jungkook.”
But Jungkook wasn’t done. He had to explain. He had to make Namjoon understand that he didn’t do this selfishly.
“Hyung, you’ve written your soulmate—me—all these beautiful poems. All these wonderful words enough to fill in three wonderful books,” Jungkook chokes out, “And I’m thankful, I swear I’m thankful.”
But Jungkook also didn’t know how to tell him about the dread that built in along with the flattery. He doesn’t know how to tell Namjoon that with every poem dedicated to him, Jungkook feels the burden of his love weighing heavier on his shoulders. He doesn’t know how to tell him that every time he reads Namjoon’s poems, he begins to feel his anxiety building up because they all wanted something from him that he wasn’t sure he could give.
Something that he didn’t know how to give without breaking or draining himself.
A million and one emotions running through Jungkook’s eyes and Namjoon pinpoints the saddest one—the self-torment.
“But I also got scared.” Jungkook finally admits, looking and feeling so small. “You thought so highly of your soulmate. You used to believe that they were the one who’s going to complete you—who’s going to make you happy. And I… I want to try, of course I do. But I wondered— hyung I wondered so many times, what if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t love you like how you’ve always dreamt of and written about? What if I can’t make you as happy as how you imagined yourself to be? What if I can’t complete you?”
Jungkook’s eyes were not just overflowing with tears, but with all the words he left unsaid. Namjoon had the displeasure of seeing everything seep right from his own eyes. Namjoon was the writer, Jungkook knows this. He was the better one with words. But he thinks that this time, even if he lacked the proper grace to fully enunciate his thoughts, Namjoon understood him quite well.
Right in front of him, Namjoon stands deathly still, face paling as he allows the words to sink in even further. Not a muscle in his body moves, even though his tear ducts continue to work so effortlessly.
“I kept asking myself what I would do if I wasn’t enough for you. I wanted to tell you so badly, hyung—you don’t even… God knows how many times I just wanted to pull you and hug you, and just kiss you. So, so many fucking times, hyung-nim—it was so hard for me too. But I couldn’t.”
Jungkook cries, pausing because he heaves a sob in between his words, his chest feeling like it’s about to explode. He remembers how he had to watch Namjoon be with so many people, like Hoseok, while he watched from the sidelines, a part of his heart continuously aching the more Namjoon didn’t choose him. But Jungkook made the choice of remaining silent for years, this was his own cross to bear.
It just didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt at all.
“A-At the end of the day, I knew I couldn't complete you. I knew I can’t be that perfect little soulmate you're dreaming about. I’m not—I’m not your prince-charming who’s going to magically solve everything. I’m just me, hyungie, and—and that’s what scared me. I’m just me and what if I wasn’t enough for you? I knew I was just gonna break your heart, and worse… I’d also break my own by trying so hard to be perfect for you.”
Oh my god.
Namjoon exhales sharply. His heart has officially reached its most broken state as Jungkook bared his entire soul to him today. A part of him wanted to surge forward, to console the vulnerable boy right in front of him.
But do I even deserve that right?
He never… he never thought of it that way. He thought he was being sweet, writing his destined one all these poems of what he wishes they could be. But never did he stop to think that maybe he was placing too much onto their shoulders, that he was building up such an unrealistic set of expectations whether he was doing it consciously or not.
Namjoon feels so ashamed of himself, he didn’t even know that he was hurting someone with his flowery words. He thought he disguised it well. Like a lure for his soulmate to appear sooner, the flattery was meant to enamour them, not scare them away. But of course, Jungkook would know and see it all. He knew Namjoon in and out. He knew every word Namjoon has ever said, even the ones he whispers into the silence.
“I-I told you I was learning.” Namjoon tries to defend himself pathetically.
“Yes, hyung. Just two weeks ago.” Jungkook says, and Namjoon can’t say anything back. “And even then, I wanted you to want me not just because we shared a bond… but I wanted you to love me beyond our destiny.”
There’s more to love than just destiny. Taehyung’s words ring repeatedly in Jungkook’s ear. He wanted Namjoon to fall for him before he knew what they were. And that’s honestly why Jungkook didn’t tell him, because Namjoon hated him without the knowledge of their existing bond. Namjoon didn’t like him as just Jungkook.
I’m just me and what if I wasn’t enough for you?
And Jungkook… he can't stomach being with someone who only wants him because the universe said so, and not because they truly and genuinely wanted him and loved him.
“I-I—” Namjoon gulps, the other side of the story finally making sense to him. “I really don’t know what to say.”
Jungkook sighs long and hard, and now Namjoon truly sees how weary Jungkook looked like. The dark bags under his red rimmed eyes, his unruly clothes and messed up hair… Jungkook was taking this as hard as he did.
“It’s okay, I—I know it’s a lot.” Jungkook mumbles, sniffing. “But hyung, don’t think that I never wanted you. Because I do… so much.”
The words made Namjoon’s lip tremble, it made his chest ache in both pain and want. He can’t believe that after all these things he forced into Jungkook—after unconsciously hurting him for years enough for him to be insecure of his own capabilities as a soulmate—that Jungkook still wanted him.
Namjoon was honestly beginning to doubt if he deserved any of this at all?
“Yeah, I—” He decides that if Jungkook was brave enough to tell him the truth, then he would be too. It’s the least he could do. “I’ve always wanted you too, Jungkook-ah. Please—please know that I don’t hate you. I never d-did.”
Saying the truth out loud is simultaneously freeing and burdening. Laid bare all open for Jungkook, Namjoon feels exposed too. Vulnerable.
“Then why did things change between us?” Jungkook couldn’t help but ask, and Namjoon wonders how long he’s been wanting to ask that question.
“Because I got scared too.” Namjoon says honestly, chewing on his bottom lip. “You started seeing me so well. You knew me in and out, saw everything I was trying to hide behind my flowery words, and that—that terrified me. You managed to see right through me, and I just didn’t know what to do.”
“Makes sense.” Jungkook hums, as if that’s it. “You didn’t know I was your soulmate yet.”
“I-I didn’t.” Namjoon gulps, stepping closer to the younger man. “But I was scared I was starting to get comfortable with you. You saw me for me, and I was starting to fall for you and you weren’t my soulmate, and that used to matter so much to me before.”
Namjoon doesn’t know if he’s making excuses, but he says nothing but the truth. Sure, he wasn’t the kindest to Jungkook for years, but he himself cannot deny the attraction between them. At least on his part… an attraction he tried so hard to tamper for reasons that now made no sense at all.
However, it seems like they were indeed the right words to say. A heavy burden lifts off of Jungkook’s chest, evident with how his face brightened even just a little bit. He’s still sad and a little hurt, but at least now, he didn’t look completely hopeless.
“And here I was thinking that I didn’t want you to want me just because we were destined to be.” He chuckles a little humorlessly.
“I didn’t, Jungkook, I wanted you w-way before any of this happened, before I even knew. But it shouldn’t have mattered anyways. I—I shouldn’t have been scared.” If Namjoon could, he wanted to berate his younger naive self. “I’m sorry, Jungkook-ah. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry—sorry that you felt so pressured because of me. I’m sorry you thought you weren’t good enough because of the expectations I didn’t know I was pushing on to you. I’m so, fuck, I’m really, really sorry for everything.”
“Me too, hyung. I’m sorry.” Jungkook gently reaches up to touch his forearm, but Namjoon meets his hand, and personally intertwines their fingers. “I’m sorry I deprived you of the one thing you’ve been praying for for so long. I’m sorry I didn’t let you be happy.”
Namjoon squeezes his hand tight, shaking his head softly. “S’not your fault. Me being happy shouldn’t rely on my soulmate. I learnt that the hard way. But I am sorry I made you think that I wouldn’t want you.”
Namjoon briefly wonders what would happen if he had known Jungkook was his soulmate right from the very start. Every scenario in his head started out dreamy—an actual fairy tale coming to life. His prince-charming was handsome, sweet, and lovely. Namjoon would have been besotted from the very start.
But with his previous mindset, of how he viewed his soulmate as someone perfect, Namjoon could also see how quick they’d fall apart. From expectations that were too good to be true, to Namjoon loving him just because they had a bond and not because he truly bonded his heart, mind, body, and soul with Jungkook… everything pointed to one of them walking out all too soon.
He depended his happiness on this idea of perfection, Namjoon was too reliant on what their soulmate can bring, forgetting that he’s not meant to be completed by someone else… that his own love for his own self was more than sufficient. It would have just ended up in disaster.
Because Namjoon was in love with the idea of soulmates, and not of his actual soulmate.
There’s more to love than destiny.
“Hyung,” Jungkook suddenly speaks up after a long silence, only the sounds of them sniffing bouncing off the walls. “What do we do now?”
That’s an excellent question. Namjoon also wonders what happens next. While they both finally spilled everything they wanted to say, it was still all very overwhelming as fuck, and Namjoon thinks that for now, they simply needed space.
“I think we need to breathe. There’s so many—so fucking much—thoughts inside my head, Jungkook-ah, I can’t even think straight.” Namjoon still hasn’t let go of Jungkook’s hand, and he could feel the way it trembled. “Can we talk some other day?”
Jungkook gulps, unconsciously pulling himself closer to Namjoon. His eyes holding an apprehension that Namjoon couldn’t understand why.
“You promise?” He asks, as if he had no confidence in Namjoon’s words. “You’re not going to walk o-out on me, are you?”
And Namjoon realizes that Jungkook really didn’t have any. He should be hurt, but Namjoon thinks that trust between them still ought to be established along the way, someday.
Someday, they’ll both manage to forgive each other, and forgive themselves. Everything will fall into place.
“Never.” He promises, and to accentuate his words, he pulls Jungkook into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist. “I won’t, Kook. I’m here. I’m your soulmate, and I’m—I’m here.”
For a moment, Jungkook stiffens, before he melts right into Namjoon’s arms. His hands enclose on Namjoon’s waist, as he buries his face in his hyung’s neck, face crumpling into a sob. Namjoon lets him cry there.
“You’re here.” He chokes out, voice thick with so much emotion. “I’m here too, hyung. Please don’t ever leave me.”
Funny enough, Namjoon finds himself tearing up as well. He holds Jungkook tighter and lets himself cry against his hair. Jungkook’s body is warm and solid, his arms tight around him. His soulmate is here—he’s actually here.
After years of searching and waiting, his soulmate was just right there beside him, and Namjoon thinks that it’s all a cruel twist of fate… but he would never exchange his Jungkook for the world.
“You never have to ask me that.” They both still need to work on their insecurities. If Namjoon needs to learn that his happiness doesn’t depend on someone else, then Jungkook needs to understand that he’s good enough for people to stay. “All I need is just a little space, then we’ll talk. I promise.”
“Okay.” Jungkook chokes out, even though he makes no move to step away. “Okay, hyung. I’ll see you.”
“I’ll see you too.” Namjoon holds on tighter, dropping a soft kiss to the top of his head, feeling more than hearing the way Jungkook gasps softly against his neck. “I promise I will.”
No more words were needed to be exchanged.
However, if they stood there for another twenty four minutes, consoling their soulmate with nothing but their warmth and tight hug, then no one—not even God—was there to judge them.
Four days after Jungkook and Namjoon talked, Namjoon finds himself in Jimin and Taehyung’s apartment. While his two best friends have been officially kicked out when they refused to even let Namjoon go to work, Namjoon still made sure to keep his promise to stop by for dinner.
To pass the time, all three of them are currently watching a movie about two soulmates from opposite parts of the globe. It’s not even remotely sad, but Namjoon couldn’t help but muse that these two characters seemed way more connected than him and Jungkook who worked together side by side for the past four years.
“He’s my soulmate, you know.” Namjoon suddenly blurts out of nowhere. “Jungkook.”
Automatically, Taehyung pauses the movie. Jimin tilts his body to face Namjoon. For the whole time they’ve spent with Namjoon, neither of them had asked the golden question. They were respectful of Namjoon and waited until he said it himself without the need to pry.
“We figured.” Jimin gulps. “But why did you both only find out now?”
Namjoon chuckles humorlessly. While days have passed, he still feels a little sad. He thinks of how they both ended up here, why they both had to hurt each other.
“He knew actually. He said he knew all along.” Namjoon keeps his eyes on the paused screen, even though his vision is inherently blurring with tears. “He knew but he didn’t tell me, because he was scared of not meeting my expectations. Because I put my soulmate on such a high pedestal, he thought he wouldn’t be enough.”
The sadness Namjoon has been holding unto flows out of his body completely. Without any inhibitions, Namjoon feels everything. From the anger to the anguish of both his and Jungkook’s heart. It all spills out of him on this very couch.
“Oh hyung.” Jimin launches himself unto Namjoon’s side the moment his hyung choked out a sob, Taehyung right behind him not a heartbeat too long. “That’s not true.”
Namjoon shrugs sadly as he sniffles.
“I know that, but he didn’t.” He looks at them with such a sad smile. “He thought I wouldn’t love him, when—when I had always hoped that it would be him.”
The admission has both Jimin and Taehyung gasping out softly. Their hands around their now crying hyung tighten, heart clenching at the cruel twist of fate.
“Joonie,” Taehyung noses his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
But Namjoon shakes his head. All his secrets spill out, including the part where the hope inside his chest never died out, that his tiger flower was always meant for Jungkook.
“I’ve always wanted him.” Namjoon reiterates with much more conviction. “But he thought that I would always be more in love with the idea of a soulmate, than I would be with him.”
While Namjoon is their best friend, Jimin and Taehyung couldn’t really pick a side. They can’t blame the young artist, because they themselves were a witness of how Namjoon viewed his soulmate. It was a little intimidating, they have to admit that.
But at the same time, it’s also a little cruel for Jungkook to hide this from him. They all knew how much Namjoon yearned for his fated one, how many times he cried over them thinking he’ll never have his chance to meet them.
It’s a sad, sad story.
“Shh,” So right now, all Tehyung could offer him was their presence. “It’s okay, hyungie, we’re here.”
“I love him.” Namjoon suddenly says, and Taehyung inhales sharply. “Do you—do you think he’ll be able to love me too? Maybe? S-someday?”
They both knew that Namjoon didn’t just say that as the spur of the moment. Deep down, they knew that Namjoon’s heart was always held by Jungkook, whether he wanted to admit it or not. That’s why Namjoon kept his distance, he was unwilling to fall for someone who wasn’t his soulmate or until he met his true destined one.
“Joonie,” Taehyung cards his fingers through Namjoon’s hair gently. “I think he already does.”
When Namjoon looked at him, Taehyung’s eyes were nothing but honest.
“Yeah, and if he isn’t, then as his soulmate, I know you can make him fall in love with you.” Jimin supplies from his other side, and huh, Namjoon has never thought of that.
“I can?” He asks through his sobs.
“Of course.” Taehyung retorts back. If anyone can make Jeon Jungkook fall in love—even though they have a feeling that he already was—then it was Namjoon. Not because Namjoon was his soulmate, but because Namjoon was Namjoon. The man Jungkook loved more than their destiny. “You know what to do, hyungie. Go get yourself a soulmate.”
The encouragement causes a newfound hope to blossom in Namjoon’s chest. He figures that he truly learns something new at every step of the way. In the past, he used to think that soulmates were instantaneous—an automatic connection would be formed in a blink of an eye. He never stopped to think that hey, maybe it also takes some time to develop just like any other bond or relationship.
It made sense.
It seems that now, Namjoon’s new goal is not just to gain a soulmate, but to truly obtain Jungkook’s heart and make him see how much Namjoon truly loves him for him.
To make him see that Namjoon had always loved Jungkook above and beyond the parameters of their destiny.
It takes him almost a week since the night in Jimin and Taehyung’s house for Namjoon to finally go through with his promise. I promised to come back.
Ten days after the night of their confrontation, Namjoon finds himself outside Jungkook’s porch, holding a bouquet of roses in his shaky hands.
“Hi.” Namjoon mutters with a nervous smile the moment Jungkook’s door opens.
It’s obvious that Jungkook wasn’t expecting him, but the moment his eyes land on the flowers and then on to Namjoon’s polished look for the evening, wonder and hope begins to form in Jungkook’s doe eyes. “Hi.”
“You busy?” Namjoon asks.
“No, come in.” Jungkook opens his door wider, stepping aside to accommodate his unexpected but highly welcomed guest. “Do you want something to drink? Coffee or tea?”
Namjoon gingerly steps forwards, fingers slightly trembling around the bouquet.
“Nah, I’m fine.” He stretches his hand with a nervous smile. “These are for you, by the way.”
Logically, Jungkook knew that these were indeed for him, yet it still feels surreal.
“T-They are?” He gulps, and with an equally trembling hand they reach over, fingers brushing against his soulmate. Just like that, Jungkook’s eyes mist. Such simple flowers having the power to make him feel so much. “Hyung, what do they—”
“Hypothetically speaking,” Namjoon cuts him off, trying to sound confident even though his jaw quivers a little. “How fast do you think you can get ready?”
Jungkook’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I have dinner reservations at seven,” Namjoon tries to say nonchalantly. “I was wondering if you would like to join me.”
Frozen, Jungkook stops breathing. He glances at Namjoon, staring at how well dressed he looks, then to the flowers. “L-Like a date?”
“If you want it to be,” Namjoon says, before shaking his head. “Actually yeah, I wanted to take you out on a date.”
With a grace Namjoon never knew Jungkook had, the young artist carefully steps forward until he’s arms length from Namjoon himself. Gingerly, he reaches out to the sleeve of Namjoon’s jacket, as if he can’t believe that Namjoon was actually here asking him out on a date, or as if the moment he lets go, Jungkook would realize that this was all a dream.
But it isn’t, because Namjoon is warm and solid, silent maybe, but real. He’s here, and he came back.
“You’re so unfair.” Jungkook chokes out, voice suspiciously wet as he looks down on the ground. “You can’t just give me twenty minutes to get ready for our first date.”
Just like that, Namjoon feels like his lungs have opened up, allowing him to breathe again for the first time in two weeks. His chest heaves heavily, exhaling all his worries out as a gracious smile paints its way unto his lips.
“Well then I suggest you start moving now, Kookie.” Namjoon says, pulling his sleeve from Jungkook’s hand just so he can intertwine both their shaky fingers together. “Time is ticking.”
But neither of them moves, none of them wishes for the moment to burst just yet.
“Hyung?” Jungkook whispers, gaze still on the floor.
“Thank you.” He says and when he looks up, he sees Jungkook’s eyes giving the stars a run for their money. A million and one emotions running through them like comets. Namjoon thinks he can spend his whole life staring at them.
“There’s no need to thank me.” He squeezes their hands together. “Y-You’re my soulmate, and I want to give you everything—everything to make you happy.”
‘It felt so fucking good to say that.’ Namjoon thinks silently. Jungkook deserves to know that.
“I already am. Just you, coming here,” Jungkook holds on to his hand tighter, before pulling Namjoon close with one hand until his free arm is wrapped around the writer’s waist. “I’m really, really, really happy, hyungie.”
Namjoon’s arms automatically encircle Jungkook’s torso in response. He chuckles lightly, so fucking happy to have him in his arms like this. He pulls away just enough so he can cup his soulmate’s face in one hand.
“If you’re happy, then why are you crying?” Which is quite hypocritical seeing as Namjoon’s eyes themselves have misted.
“So mean.” Jungkook mumbles, but Namjoon wipes away the fallen tears with the pad of his thumb and it feels wonderful. “I just—I don’t even know.”
“It’s okay, we’ll both navigate our way through this together.” Namjoon says because he gets it. He, too, doesn’t know. “Although I have to remind you that your twenty minutes just turned into sixteen.”
Just like that, Jungkook’s eyes widened, alert. He hastily pulls back with a pout and Namjoon thinks he’s honestly the cutest soulmate in the whole wide world.
“Oh fuck, it’s a good thing I already showered.” He groans, half running through his hallway back to his bedroom. But just before he enters, he turns back to look at Namjoon with a glare. “I am so getting you back on this, hyungie.”
With that, he slams the door, leaving a goofy looking Namjoon with a dopey smile on his face standing right in the middle of the living room.
“Please do.” Namjoon mumbles even if Jungkook doesn’t hear it anymore. Because Jungkook getting back at him means that there will be more dates, and Namjoon can’t wait for that to happen.
He can’t wait for their future to unfold, and although it’s all uncertain and a little rocky, Namjoon for sure as hell would try to give Jungkook all that he deserves, and to always make him happy.
Because at the end of the day, Jungkook might not be perfect, but he’s Jeon Jungkook.
He’s not just his soulmate, but Jungkook was the man Namjoon was in love with, and he’s already more than enough.
Once upon a time, Namjoon thought that being with his soulmate will solve all the problems he had in life.
From the loneliness to the stress, he thought his soulmate would be like his own knight in shining armor, ready to whisk him away from all the evil and troubles in this world.
Until one day, Namjoon stopped and realized that wait a minute, I’m not a damsel in distress.
Actually, he didn’t just realize that one morning. It was a slow and tedious process of realization and self-love, but Namjoon got there nonetheless.
Like now. There’s so many things in his life that changed ever since he started dating Jungkook, and Namjoon sometimes wonders why he didn’t allow himself to experience this sooner.
“It’s okay,” Jungkook teased him, poking his dimple as they gobbed down their cotton candy stick during their third date. “Your stubbornness was part of what I liked about you.”
“Don’t tell me that you ‘like a challenge’?” Namjoon snorted with air quotes as they walked around the theme park. They were too old to be here, but Jungkook mentioned that he had always dreamt of having an ultimate cliché date with his soulmate. Namjoon was too weak to deny him of anything he wanted.
“No,” Jungkook laughs, shyly wrapping an arm around Namjoon's waist. “I think I just like a lot of things about you.”
It’s so corny, but Namjoon still blushes like a teenager. “You’re such a sap.”
Jungkook giggles again, poking Namjoon’s other dimple. “But you like me anyways.”
And that’s when Namjoon understands that yes, he too liked a lot of things about Jungkook. That includes his sappiness and the way his eyes crinkled when he giggled at him like an angel. It all made sense.
Namjoon wouldn’t change him for the world.
But like any other person in this world, there are some things they also don’t like about each other. Jungkook didn’t like the way Namjoon shut off when he was feeling too much, choosing to shut him out instead of sharing his burden. Namjoon also didn’t like how nosy Jungkook was sometimes, the younger man forgetting that while they were now together, they still had their own personal boundaries.
Admittedly, there had been several bumps as they navigated their relationship, but both Namjoon and Jungkook sure as hell tried their best to pass through them together.
Because at the end of the day, nothing and nobody was perfect, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it.
Jungkook wishes he could say that they took it slow, too. He wishes he could tell their future children that he indeed completed all levels of courtship, starting from asking Namjoon’s parent’s permission to be with their beloved son, to the fact that they went on twenty seven dates before he even managed to kiss Namjoon’s lips.
But unfortunately, he was admittedly too weak for deep dimples and for boys whom he had matching moles with. We’re such soulmates.
It only took them two dates (the second one where Jungkook got back at him, appearing in Namjoon’s apartment fifteen whooping minutes before their movie date, because he was competitive like that) for Jungkook and Namjoon to share their first kiss.
Some might liken their rushedness to impatience, but for Jungkook and Namjoon, they’ve already wasted five years by staying away from each other. They can have this.
So before Jungkook dropped Namjoon off of his apartment complex, the young writer tilts his body from the front seat, cupping Jungkook’s face gently before allowing their lips to meet in a long overdue kiss.
It was at that very moment that Namjoon confirmed that fairy tales weren’t real, because if it did, then how can such a magical kiss exist in reality instead?
It’s so, so wonderful.
It was inherently safe to say then that things only escalated from there. After their third date, they had a full on make out session in Namjoon’s apartment when he asked the younger man to stay a little longer. Somewhere between their fourth and fifth date, Namjoon and Jungkook had a small quarrel, but they both made up before the day ended, because Jungkook hated going to bed angry. It was their first time spending a night together, just cuddling in bed.
Sometimes, they’d get a little frisky too. Jungkook might find himself on his knees at random moments, and Namjoon might find his fingers wandering somewhere here and there during those days he decides to be brave. But neither of them were ready to go all the way just yet.
They still needed to tick off a few things before they bared themselves completely into that level of intimacy.
First, they needed to establish trust. They learnt a lot of things about each other in their past two months, more than all the things they’ve learnt about one another for the past five years. It feels a little weird sometimes, how their soulmate both felt like a stranger and someone so familiar. But along with that new and refurbished knowledge came a bond that the soulmates gradually built as they dated.
Two and a half months later, some time after their seventh date—because they were both still busy with book tours and their own deadlines—did Namjoon finally find himself staring at Jungkook with more than an innocent glint in his eyes.
Jungkook only took two seconds to respond.
They’ve just come home from a road trip, and Jungkook was a little exhausted from driving around and making out at random spots in the city. He invited Namjoon to sleep over, which isn’t really anything new anymore, and Namjoon gladly accepted.
His strength returned, however, the moment Namjoon smirked a bit too mischievously at him.
He pushes Namjoon’s back against his door frame without any warning whatsoever, their lips meeting in a heated kiss. One thing Namjoon has learnt about Jungkook as they got more intimate is that the younger man liked exerting a bit of dominance over him, whether he does that consciously or not. Despite him being younger, Jungkook liked having the upper hand over Namjoon, showing off his strength that made the writer feel a little woozy sometimes.
Namjoon still believes it’s on purpose though. But then again, Jungkook would suddenly look up at him so shyly, eyes blown wide and a little bit bashful, and Namjoon all but melts. After all, he’s only a man with a functional heart and an equally functional cock.
Thankfully (and secretly), Namjoon also liked being a little pliant.
“Jungkook-ah,” He groans when Jungkook began nipping at his jaw. Lips a little too rough, teeth a little too harsh. “Mmm, Kook, do you...”
“Do I what?” Jungkook barely pays him any mind, focusing on his task of mapping every inch of Namjoon’s long neck with his lips. “What do you want, hyungie?”
While this is no longer a new experience for him, Namjoon still finds himself unable to think straight. So much has happened today, they’ve made out at so many parking lots as they went on a road trip for the better part of the afternoon. It’s a no brainer that now that it was late in the evening, both their bodies were pent up with a fuck ton of sexual tension.
That, and Jungkook looked too hot and beautiful with the wind blowing against his blonde undercut hair, a tattooed arm on his steering wheel, the other intertwined with Namjoon’s hand.
“Anything you want, baby,” Namjoon found himself mumbling. “Whatever you want.”
Jungkook hisses a little at the endearment, teeth biting down on Namjoon’s earlobe a little too deep. The offer was just too tempting.
“What if I wanted you?” He mumbles against Namjoon’s ear, hands finding its way against Namjoon’s waist. “What if I wanted to have you tonight?”
He pulls back just enough to see the look on Namjoon’s face. Namjoon almost gasps, Jungkook’s eyes were so heated, probably a mirror of his own. He can barely stop himself as he bends down to capture Jungkook’s lips in another deep and rough kiss, hands flying around his neck.
“Then have me,” He says against Jungkook’s swollen lips. “I’m all yours, you know that.”
Despite the shyness he’s feeling, Jungkook hungrily pushes Namjoon further to the door, arms caging his head as they kiss even more passionately. “Really? I can have you now?” He asks so bashfully, it’s adorable how it was such a contrast to his strength.
“Yes, Kookie, you can. I want to be yours as much as I want to make you mine.”
The words had Jungkook gulping. He lifts Namjoon up from the floor, the writer’s legs wrapping itself around his waist with a yelp. He knows he’s heavy, he’s probably heavier than Jungkook. But the younger man manhandles him without even flinching, and Namjoon’s jaw is slack even until they reach the mattress in his bedroom.
“You are such a show off,” He groans, more turned on than annoyed, a moan accentuating his words as Jungkook buried himself against his neck.
“Mhm, I do like showing off all the wonderful things I have.” Namjoon could feel the way Jungkook smirked against his neck as he trailed a series of kisses against his golden skin. “Like you.”
Namjoon inhales sharply.
Jungkook’s nose scrunches when he talks again, a pleasant smile on his lips. “I always want to tell the whole world about you, you know, about how lucky I am that you’re my soulmate—mine.”
“Jungkook,” Namjoon breathes out airily, voice heavy with emotion. “Fuck, you’re so sweet.”
Jungkook lifts himself from Namjoon’s neck with a toothy grin, eyes looking straight into Namjoon’s heated gaze.
“Only for you, hyungie.” He smiles, honest but cheeky. “All of me is just for you.”
Namjoon doesn’t doubt his words, not for a single moment.
It makes him feel wonderful—absolutely delighted to know that Jungkook was happy to have him, too. The same way Jungkook helped Namjoon understand that he can be happy on his own, Namjoon also aided Jungkook in comprehending the fact that he was already more than enough, with or without Namjoon’s validation.
“All of me is just for you too, Kookie.” Namjoon doesn’t know why his eyes were misting, but he pulls Jungkook’s face up to leave a long and meaningful kiss on his lips. “M’yours, baby. I’m so happy to have you.”
Jungkook giggles, flattered. He kisses Namjoon again before his lips move about his entire face. For a long time, that’s all they do. They simply kiss, lips pressing against each other’s face and body without rush. It took them almost five years to be here, both of them wanted to savor the moment.
It wasn’t until Jungkook’s fingers began unbuttoning Namjoon’s polo that the temperature around them dropped by a few degrees. Jungkook’s lips were as eager as his fingers, sucking mark after mark on his neck, like a young pup trying to be a dominant alpha.
“Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon breathes out, pausing momentarily before pulling on the sides of Jungkook’s shirt to lift it above his head too. “Are you sure about this?”
“I am, hyungie.” He answers back easily, reassuring Namjoon with another long kiss. “I am if you are.”
Namjoon doesn’t think for long, not when all the blood from his head is rushing down south just at the mere sight of his soulmate’s muscled torso, adorned with several swirls of ink that made Namjoon feel dizzy with want.
“Yeah, of course I am.”
Jungkook only hums in response, switching their positions so that Namjoon is now on top. The writer straddles his hips, and it’s only then did they realize how hard they both were. The brush of their clothed cocks evokes a moan out of their lips, both men suddenly feeling a little more excited.
“I wanna taste you,” Namjoon breathes against Jungkook’s neck, where he’s leaving his own set of marks like a teenager. “Please, baby, can I?”
Jungkook actually groans out loud. “Yes, fuck, of course you can.”
Namjoon smirks. He didn’t exactly elaborate when he asked to taste him, but Jungkook assumed that Namjoon would go straight for his cock. What he just didn’t expect is for Namjoon’s lips to map out his torso first, starting with his glistening pecs, lips soon finding his nipple.
“Ah, hyung,” Jungkook hisses, head throwing back a little as the sensitivity focuses on his nub. “Oh god.”
He watches with a hiss as Namjoon tongues his erect bud, the young writer having his fun in sucking them one after the other. He makes sure that Jungkook’s nipples are all red and hard before he moves down to his abdomen. There’s not a patch of skin in Jungkook’s body left untouched—Namjoon’s tongue and lips gliding against every inch, worshipping his beloved like how Namjoon had always dreamt of. He kisses down Jungkook’s abs, graciously brushing his lips over his muscles before they find the waistband of Jungkook’s jeans.
“You’re so hard, baby,” Namjoon states as he mouths Jungkook’s cock over his jeans, as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious. “Let me take care of you?”
Jungkook nods desperately, his lips getting caught in between his teeth as he watches Namjoon with a heated look in his eyes. “Please do.”
And Namjoon did.
He unbuttons Jungkook’s jeans, gentle and graceful. He throws Jungkook’s pants somewhere down the ground, leaving him in his boxers. Namjoon smirks a little when he sees a wet patch already forming in his undergarments, and Jungkook glares at his judgmental face.
“S’your fault, you know?” He whines as Namjoon chuckles. “Please, hyung, do something about it?” Jungkook pleads, because if Namjoon doesn’t touch him right now, he’s going to scream.
“Oh don’t mind if I do.” Namjoon coos, pushing down Jungkook’s boxers off of his body. Despite the numerous tattoos on Jungkook’s skin, from his torso down to his sleeve, Namjoon’s eyes automatically zero in on his soulmate tattoo. The clematis just beneath his hip bone was in a gorgeous shade of purple—almost violet. Namjoon’s heart warms as he sees it, fingers brushing over them gently.
Deciding to start there, Namjoon’s lips find the tattoo, leaving a long kiss on that patch of ink making Jungkook’s breath hitch. Namjoon moves so softly around it, almost sentimental, so he gives him the time.
“I absolutely love this on you.” Namjoon mumbles, but what he really wanted to say is that I wouldn’t want anyone else to wear my mark besides you. Or maybe, I’m glad it was you.
He has a feeling though that Jungkook already knows.
Soon, his lips move from his hip bone to his crotch. He wasn’t cruel, he pleasures Jungkook’s cock thoroughly—making him feel so good, just like what he deserves for being so nice to him too. Namjoon begins from the tip, swirling his tongue around the head with drops of precum that formed on the slit, before licking down his cock with a sultry look in his eyes as he stared straight into Jungkook’s eyes.
“You taste so good.” Namjoon moans lewdly, loving the way Jungkook cussed. He wraps his lips around the head again, drooling on his cock to get it all wet before moving back with a loud ‘pop’. “Tell me what you want, baby. How do you want to do this tonight?”
Jungkook groans through his gritted teeth, it’s getting hard to think straight especially when Namjoon wrapped his hand around his length to match his sucking. The image of his hyung sucking him off will never get old. “I—I don’t know, how, oh fuck, how do you w-want it, hyungie?”
Namjoon decides to take him deeper into his mouth, just to mess with him a little bit more. “I could either fuck you if that’s what you want. Bend you over my cock, and let me fill up your ass. If you want it, just say so. You know I’d do anything for you.”
Jungkook inhales sharply, back shuddering, and his cock spurts out even more precum at the mental imagery of that offer. “A-and the other option?”
Namjoon smirks. “Or you can put your big cock inside me, Jungkookie, I don’t mind. You can stretch my ass with this, baby,” He accentuates his words by suddenly deepthroating him once, sending Jungkook’s hips flaring up with a groan. “Fuck me like you want it, I’ll even let you cum in my hole too. Do you want that, Kookie? Do you want to fuck hyung instead?”
Namjoon already knows the answer before Jungkook even responds, his cock was literally twitching inside his mouth before the artist nods desperately.
“Yes, yes, please hyungie. Let me—let me fuck you, please.”
Namjoon chuckles, leaving a peck on Jungkook’s tip as he massages his balls. “Anything for you, handsome.”
Before Jungkook could answer back, Namjoon takes him back into his mouth, truly beginning to suck the soul out of him. He blows him like a champ, and Jungkook is only mildly jealous thinking of how good Namjoon was at this, meaning he must have had a lot of practice. But right now, Namjoon was here, licking along his shaft from base to tip, swallowing him whole and even allowing Jungkook to fuck his mouth. All thoughts of jealousy leave the window as he stares at Namjoon’s swollen lips wrapped prettily around his cock.
“Hyung, please enough, I don’t want to cum until I’m i-inside you.” Jungkook groans out, tears leaking from the corner of his eyes as he grips the bedsheets. Namjoon doesn’t look any better after having his throat fucked, but he does look smug. He made Jungkook look that messy—look that beautiful.
“Do you want to stretch me?” Namjoon asks as he leaves one last kiss to Jungkook’s cock, already knowing where Jungkook kept the lube from his nightstand. “Or I can do it myself.”
Jungkook tsks, snatching the lube from Namjoon’s hands before pushing Namjoon to his back. “No, no, let me do it.” He says petulantly, ripping off Namjoon’s jeans and boxers all in one go. “I can do it, hyung. I want to do it.”
“Easy tiger,” Namjoon teases with a chuckle. Now that he’s all naked for Jungkook’s eyes to feast on, he does feel a little shy. “M’not going anywhere.”
Jungkook huffs. “You better.” Before he prowls towards the juncture in between Namjoon’s spread legs. “Can I touch you, hyung?”
He’s so polite. Namjoon couldn’t help but giggle. “All yours, baby. Be a good boy for hyung.”
As expected, Jungkook’s eyes darken and Namjoon couldn’t help but smirk. He always knew Jungkook had a praise kink.
“I’ll be good for you, hyungie, I promise.”
Namjoon didn’t doubt that for one moment. Originally, he expected Jungkook to simply stretch him with his fingers. That’s why he was completely surprised when instead of the cold lube gracing his rim, a warm and wet muscle brushes against his entrance instead.
“Oh Jungkook, what the—”
He silences himself off with a loud moan, thighs twitching from where Jungkook threw them over his own shoulders. Jungkook has decided use his fucking tongue to get Namjoon ready. He licks incessantly along Namjooon’s rim, spreading his hyung’s ass further apart to expose his pink and puffy hole that looked too delicious to be left alone. Jungkook finds his tongue licking against it, before pushing right inside his walls.
“Fucking hell, oh shit, Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon groans out loud, hands flying to the younger man’s hair. While he might not be completely prepared, he’s not a fool to turn down a rim job, especially one done by someone so eager like his Jungkookie. “Ah, ah, ah, Kookie baby, oh shit.”
Jungkook pairs his licks with some sucks against his rim, tongue basically fucking his walls. He’s also unable to stop himself from leaving marks around Namjoon’s hole, two on his left cheek, four on his right. It truly looked delicious.
Distracted by so much pleasure, Namjoon barely even feels it when Jungkook begins fingering him. The next thing he knew, a cold finger was pressing in along with his tongue, and yet Namjoon barely felt any pain. His cock kept twitching from how good he’s feeling, drool and tears coating his face, but he couldn’t care less. Jungkook was making him feel so fucking amazing.
“You’re so good, fuck, such a good boy, Kookie,” Namjoon keeps the praise coming, knowing that it pushes Jungkook on. “So good, angel, ah ah ah, fuck!”
One finger became two, then three, and finally Namjoon is stretched and ready.
“Hyung,” Jungkook gasps, his lower face wet with lube and spit, and Namjoon thinks he has never looked this hot. “Can I please, can I f-fuck you now?”
Namjoon was already nodding before he even finished his sentence. “Come here, Kookie. Fuck me, go ahead.”
Jungkook rushes to obtain a pillow, placing it under Namjoon’s hips. He coats his cock with some lube, pumping once, twice, hissing because he’s so hard and he needs to be inside his soulmate right now.
He lines his cock against Namjoon’s rim, groaning at how inviting the warmth felt with just the tip in. When he looks up at Namjoon, the writer pulls him down to give him a long kiss. “Go, baby. Fuck me.”
That was all Jungkook needed before he pushed right in.
The slide was a little tight, seeing as Namjoon hasn’t been with anyone for so long, but Jungkook distracts him with a kiss to his lips as he bottoms out. The moment he’s all in, Jungkook buries his face in Namjoon’s neck, both men groaning at how amazing it feels.
And that’s when Namjoon hears it.
“Hyung,” Jungkook gasps softly against his collarbone, nibbling on his skin gently. “Joonie, I love you.”
In that moment, Namjoon swore he could have come right then and there.
He gasps, breath stuttering as he takes in Jungkook’s words. Carefully, he lifts the younger man’s face from his neck, Jungkook watching him with a vulnerable look in his eyes.
“You don’t have to say it,” Jungkook silences him with a kiss, a little nervous. “I just want you to know that I love you, hyungie.”
And Namjoon almost laughs because good god, how can anyone in the world not love Jungkook?
Namjoon might not believe in God, but if he does get a chance to meet him in heaven, he’ll thank him for sending him his best angel. He’ll thank God for giving him Jungkook.
“Jungkook, I—” Tears suddenly form on the corner of Namjoon’s eyes, and that alone made Jungkook tear up too. “I love you so much, baby. Fuck, I love you too.”
He just had to say it, because Jungkook deserves to know.
“Y-you do?” The first tear falls from Jungkook’s eyes, Namjoon kisses it away.
“I do, Kookie,” Namjoon whispers against his cheek, before breathing it against his lips so that Jungkook could taste his love. “I’m in love with you, Jungkook. I’ve always been in love with you, and I, fuck, I love you so much.”
It all comes spilling out of Namjoon. He finally gets his chance to say it and it all came in perfect timing. Jungkook kisses him so deeply that Namjoon tastes his love too. It’s the sweetest thing he’s ever had.
“I love you too, hyung. I’ve loved you from the start, and I’m just—I’m so glad that it’s you.”
No more words were needed to be exchanged after that. Jungkook begins fucki—making love to him so sweetly, their hands intertwined together beside Namjoon’s head as Jungkook thrusts into him. His movements are unrushed but not aimless, Jungkook’s cock hits Namjoon right where the author begins seeing stars. Their lips are perpetually locked in a loving kiss, even as tears begin to form in their eyes from how emotional they both had gotten, not once did they disconnect.
“You’re so good, Kookie, you’re making me feel so good,” Namjoon compliments him as he kisses Jungkook’s shoulder, urging him to go deeper. “Harder, baby, come on. I love you.”
Every thrust is punctured with a seal of their love. Both their moans are swallowed by each other’s lips as Namjoon feels Jungkook bury himself inside his stretched hole up to the hilt, over and over again. Namjoon has never had or felt anything like this, and even as Jungkook lifts them both from the bed, thrusting harder and deeper inside of him now that they’re chest to chest, Namjoon could have sworn that if death paid him a visit tonight, he’d die a happy man.
“M’close, hyungie.” Jungkook groans against his swollen lips, hands tight around his waist as his thrusts become more rapid and rushed. It felt so good. “I’m gonna—fuck I’m gonna c-come, love.”
“Yeah?” Namjoon bounces harder on his lap, meeting Jungkook’s thrusts with equal vigor. His own hands are wrapped securely around Jungkook’s neck, his own cock trapped in between them, giving him that sweet friction he needed to be pushed off the edge. He didn’t even need Jungkook to touch him, Namjoon was tethering on the edges from Jungkook’s cock brushing against his prostate alone. “Then come for me, Kookie.” He grits out, feeling his own orgasm building up so intensely. “Come with me.”
Jungkook only thrusts in once, twice, and four more times before he groans out loud. Namjoon follows him not a second too late, their loud moans blending beautifully as it bounces off the bedroom walls.
The moment the two soulmates finally reach their climax, both their lips were still connected in a searing kiss, whispering nothing but a repetitive confession of their love for each other, now and forever.
When morning comes, Namjoon sees that Jungkook is already awake. The younger man was staring at him, still naked. His neck was evidently marked by Namjoon’s ministrations, and Namjoon would almost feel shy about it, if only he didn’t feel a little smug.
“Hi, beautiful.” Jungkook whispers, and Namjoon already finds himself blushing way before he even says his first word in the morning.
“Hi.” Namjoon mumbles back shyly, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long have you been awake?”
Jungkook draws circles along the shoulder blade exposed to his side, his legs shifting underneath the covers to pull Namjoon closer to his body.
“Don’t know. Got lost in time staring at you.”
Namjoon snorts, body vibrating as he chuckles against Jungkook’s hold. “Are you really this sappy during mornings after sex?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jungkook finds himself giggling back. “You were just too beautiful, hyung. I could stare at you forever.”
After last night, one might think that he’d get over being so shy. Such words shouldn’t make Namjoon feel this way anymore, and yet his heart still skipped a beat. He reaches up to cup a side of Jungkook’s face, thumbing on the apples of his cheeks.
“I love you, Ggukie.” He says, accent a little rough, because Jungkook beat him to it last night, and he’s made it his personal mission to always be the first to say it every day. Knowing Jungkook though, he won’t back down from a challenge.
“I love you more, hyungie,” And he was right. Jungkook one ups him again by placing a kiss on his forehead. “Love you so much. I’m so glad you’re my soulmate.”
The words make Namjoon’s heart swell. He feels like bursting, staring at Jungkook who’s looking back at him with so much love is making him feel emotional. He thinks of everything they’ve both been through pre and post knowing about their bond. They’ve made it so far, and while it indeed took them so long to get here, Namjoon still thinks it all came at the right time.
“And I’m right, you really are a sap in the morning.” Namjoon says with a light grin. “I like you like this though.”
“Is this code for wanting me to fuck you every night, just to get me all mushy when the sun comes up?” Jungkook smirks cheekily. “Because I am telling you right now, hyung, I can keep up.”
Namjoon snorts so loudly, and Jungkook all but cackles as Namjoon repeatedly hits his forearm.
“Way to ruin the morning, Jungkook,” Namjoon pretends to groan as he spins around and covers himself with the sheets. “Good night.”
Jungkook chuckles, arms coming to wrap around Namjoon’s waist from behind, his chest feels warm on Namjoon’s back. “I’m just kidding, come on, hyungie. Get up. Let’s have breakfast, I’m hungry.” He bribes Namjoon with kisses to the back of his shoulder and to the side of his face. “Feed me pancakes, my love.”
Namjoon tilts his blushing face sideways, squinting his eyes playfully at the young man. “I bottomed, shouldn’t you be the one feeding me?”
Jungkook pretends to think about it, before grinning mischievously again. “But hyung, I thought you loved me.”
When Jungkook puts it that way, Namjoon can only raise his white flag.
He groans in defeat. Ass sore, he lifts himself up from the bed, wincing slightly now that he’s sitting up. The younger man only watches him with an amused smile. “Fine, I’ll make you pancakes.” Namjoon grumbles, even though there’s a smile threatening to break out on his face.
Jungkook only cackles in absolute triumph.
And Namjoon thinks he can never ever love anyone else as much as he loves his Jungkookie.
Breakfast is a sweet affair. After freshening up, the two gentlemen head to the kitchen, refusing to separate even just for one moment.
Namjoon doesn’t know how he managed to cook some pancakes with an extra body wrapped around his back, basically breathing down his neck, but he managed.
“Sorry if I’m clingy.” Jungkook doesn’t sound apologetic at all. As a matter of fact, he even snuggles deeper against Namjoon’s nape.
“You’re fine.” Namjoon mumbles back because Jungkook’s touch is also grounding, and he feels warm. Everything about Jungkook is so nice. “Just get some plates for us though. And get the syrup, pancakes are almost ready.”
Begrudgingly, Jungkook extracts himself from Namjoon’s back. Not for long though. He makes a quick dash for everything Namjoon requested, and he’s back to latching onto his soulmate’s back by the time Namjoon places the pancakes on the plates.
“How will you eat if you won’t get off of my back?” Namjoon sighs when he feels Jungkook not so subtly brushing his lips against his nape, arms tight around his waist from where Namjoon is sitting on the counter.
“Hmm,” Jungkook hums thoughtfully, kissing on that spot where Namjoon’s neck meets his shoulders. “Feed me then.”
Namjoon sighs exasperatedly, throwing Jungkook an exasperated look even though he tilts his head back to give the younger man better access. “You are becoming too spoiled.”
He complains, but then Namjoon is already lifting a forkful of pancakes with syrup to Jungkook’s lips.
“And yet you still love me.” Jungkook accepts the bite with a cheeky grin knowing that once again, he won.
“Will you really pull that up every single time, Jungkook-ah?” Namjoon huffs, breath hitching as Jungkook’s lips brush against his sensitive spot.
“Mhm, is that a complaint I’m hearing, Mr. Kim?”
“You know it isn’t,” Because there’s no use in fighting the truth. Namjoon indeed loves him, so much. “Come here, I’ll feed you.”
He suddenly pulls Jungkook to sit on his lap so that the young artist could still hide on his neck as Namjoon continues to feed him.
“Comfy?” He asks as he runs a finger through Jungkook’s long blonde locks, the younger man looking like a cat as he basically purrs in Namjoon’s arms.
“Very.” Jungkook accepts another bite, before surprising Namjoon with a peck to his lips. “Love you.”
Unable to stop his grin, Namjoon only rolls his eyes playfully. “Will you ever get tired of saying that?”
“Depends.” Jungkook is back on his neck, adding more marks as if Namjoon didn’t already have a constellation of them all for the world to see. “Will you ever get tired of hearing it?”
Namjoon didn’t even have to think for long. “Absolutely not.”
“Then you’ll be hearing it for the rest of your life.” Jungkook kisses him just beneath his chin, and Namjoon’s breath gets caught up in between his lips.
For the rest of his life. That sounds absolutely wonderful—like a dream come true. Jungkook was his dream come true and he can’t believe that this man in his arms wants to stay with him forever.
“I love you so much,” Namjoon finds himself dropping the fork, capturing Jungkook’s lips in another searing kiss. He tastes like maple, sweet and addictive. “Jungkook-ah, I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Namjoon repeats it so many times, and Jungkook hungrily drinks it all up right from his lips. All of Namjoon’s love is just for him.
“I love you too, baby. Love you so much.” He responds, returning the passionate kiss. But before it could go any deeper, Jungkook suddenly pulls back in thought. “Which, by the way, reminds me. I have a gift for you.”
Surprised at the sudden twist, Namjoon couldn’t help but gape. “A gift?” He asks. “It’s not my birthday?”
“And? You’re my soulmate? Can’t I spoil you a little?” Jungkook winks at him cheekily and Namjoon could only snort while giggling.
“You’re awful,” He pokes Jungkook’s sides before asking, “What is it by the way?”
Jungkook excitedly hops off Namjoon’s lap, lifting a finger at him as he dashed out of their kitchen. “Wait here. I just finished it but I want to give it to you right now.”
Namjoon smiles at how giddy Jungkook looked as he skipped like a bunny to god knows where. He didn't wait for long though, Namjoon barely managed to take three bites of his pancake before Jungkook came trudging back in, holding a medium sized canvas in his arms.
Shyly, but evidently excited, he hands it over to Namjoon with a charged grin. With a furrow of his brows, Namjoon reaches over and flips it gently to face him.
And, “Oh.” Namjoon finds himself freezing, throat closing in a little as he stares at Jungkook’s masterpiece.
It’s a painting… a painting of them.
Of two puzzle pieces abstractedly shaped like the two of them fitting together to paint one beautiful picture.
Oh my god. Namjoon was rendered speechless.
“Do you like it?” Jungkook asks, a little nervous because it’s been three whole minutes and Namjoon has neither said a word nor moved a muscle. “I know it’s not much, but it’s one of a kind. You’re the only person in this world who has that.”
And that seals it for Namjoon.
He smiles, so, so goddamn happy he doesn’t think any other moment in his life could compare to the bliss he’s feeling right now. His eyes water as he stared at the two puzzle pieces connected together that weren't concretely shaped like them, but Namjoon recognizes it.
After being with him for so long, Namjoon recognizes the outline of Jungkook’s face, he notices the slope of his own nose and cheeks. It’s there—it’s them. Jungkook’s face was buried against the dip on his neck, Namjoon’s head above Jungkook’s own. They’re made to seem like two puzzle pieces that had their own thing going on, already complete without the other, but looked infinitely brighter now that they’re connected.
“And I’m so lucky, fuck, I am.” Namjoon gasps out, jumping from his seat to give Jungkook a kiss that had him bending backwards. “Holy shit, Jungkook-ah—oh god, this is… this is mine.”
Jungkook chuckles, finally, he liked Namjoon’s reaction. “You didn’t answer my question.” He teases, as if Namjoon isn’t already crying from pure tears of joy.
“Do I like it? God, why are you even asking that?” Namjoon asks indecorously, peppering Jungkook’s face with so many kisses until Jungkook was a giggling mess. “I love it, I love it. Thank you so much, baby. It’s so beautiful, and I love you. Thank you so much.”
Namjoon has never gotten a gift this lovely, and yes, he’s not just talking about the painting.
“I’m glad you like it too, baby.” Jungkook wraps his arms around Namjoon’s waist, but not before gently setting down the painting on the counter. “It’s all for you. Everything I have is only for you.”
Namjoon inhaled sharply, the need to sob suddenly felt overwhelming. But Jungkook is here, and he’s so happy, he doesn’t want to ruin the moment by starting to ugly sob.
“My soulmate,” He mumbles instead, pulling back a little just so he can cup Jungkook’s face. The younger man barely holds back a gasp as he sees the love shining in Namjoon’s eyes. It’s so beautiful it left Jungkook completely breathless. “And you thought you weren’t good enough, when you’re more than w-what I could ever ask for. Hell, you—you’re more than what I deserve.”
“Hyung,” Jungkook breathes out, almost in a whine as his breath stutters. Loving Namjoon might have been painful at some points, but it’s the best decision Jungkook has ever made. “Hyungie, Joonie, I love you, baby. Thank you.”
It was absolutely worth it.
“Thank you too, Jungkookie. Thank you for being patient, thank you for never giving up on me.” Namjoon answers back, thanking all his lucky stars. While destiny might have played around with him, Namjoon still thinks he had gained their favor. Because at the end of the day, they blessed him with Jungkook. “I’m the luckiest person in the world to have you.”
Jungkook smiles so breathtakingly stunning, and Namjoon makes it his mission to see that smile on his face every day for as long as he’s breathing. The same way Jungkook has sworn to do everything he can, so that not a day would pass by that he isn’t graced with the deepest and prettiest dimples in the world.
“Me too. Love you, my angel.” Jungkook breathes against his lips, before sealing his words with another kiss. And another, and another. And a million more to come. “And you were right, two puzzle pieces feel less lonelier than a single one.”
As a man nearing his thirties, Namjoon would’ve never thought that he’d still meet his soulmate someday. Everyone gets theirs before they’re even twenty, but Namjoon was almost a decade late.
And yet, he thinks, Jungkook didn’t come a moment too early nor a moment too late.
Learning and loving goes side by side, Namjoon learns this the more he spends time with Jungkook. Even at his age, he still continues to learn things that Jungkook, thankfully, helped him understand little by little.
First, Jungkook wasn’t the sole bringer of happiness in Namjoon’s world. The young writer realized that he was already more than capable of making himself happy. Instead, Jungkook made him happier. The same way he didn’t complete Namjoon, Jungkook simply made Namjoon feel less lonely—stronger with him by his side.
Two puzzle pieces feel less lonelier than a single one.
Namjoon didn’t need Jungkook to save him. Instead, Jungkook was there by his side as Namjoon realized that the only person who can save him and who is in control of his own happiness is himself.
Jungkook taught him that before he can love somebody else, he first needed to love himself.
In the end, Namjoon learnt that he wasn’t meant to treat Jungkook as his everything, instead, Jungkook was just a man who had everything Namjoon could ever want for and more. And that’s enough… Jungkook was more than enough.
Perfectly imperfect, Namjoon loved him beyond any string of fate, and beyond what destiny has ever dictated. With no ‘because’ trailing after those three little words—not I love Jungkook because he’s my soulmate.
Rather, Jungkook’s my soulmate because I love him.
Oh. my. god. God knows how emotional I was as I wrote this, I kid you not I cried throughout the process. This fic means so much to me, and I was... this just hits so close to me and I hope you guys appreciated it as much as I did. I love you all... your words, comments, kudos, and support mean the whole world to me. Thank you for everything, mwah!
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