Work Header

God you are slow (yes, they are dating)

Work Text:

Sometimes, Touma wished he wasn't born gifted with such an amazing ability to connect data and mostly always be right about the conclusions he managed to come up with. Like right in that moment, looking at Toritsuka Reita right in front of him and trying so hard not to grimace because-well, better not to keep thinking about it, right?

The door of the stablishment, "Café Mami", then opened, Aiura Mikoto happily walking in, just to wrinkled her nose at the sight of the purpled hair medium boy. She quickly made it to the table, crossing her arms.

"What the hell are you doing here, pervert?" She demanded, foot impatianly tapping the wooden floor, "I don't remember inviting you to hang out."

"Well, duh. That's because you didn't, Big Boobs." Aiura rolled her eyes, Touma noticed the tips of her long fake pink nails burying a little in the tanned smooth skin of her forearms. "My boy Akechi here and I happened to bump into each other, he told me about this secret reunion of the Psy-kickers you so very kindly left me out of so I decided to correct that!" He looked so pleased with himself, raising his arms and folding them behind his head like he hadn't been praying on a couple of very much lost and confused foreign girls right before Touma noticed him... 

"Well maybe TouTou" until that, Toritsuka's eyes widened and he coughed, a strangled sound leaving his throat soon after. Even tho Aiura looked at him like he was the most disgusting thing she had ever encountered, she reached and patted him in the back, rather forcefully than she needed to, but Touma could totally ignore that, until Toritsuka started to calm down, "As I was saying" Mikoto huffed, "Maybe he doesn't mind you being here, but I do, and I'm sure Kusuo will, too, that makes two vs one so, bye bye."

"Tsk" Toritsuka clicked his tongue, his relaxed posture long forgotten, Touma noticed the medium's eyes going from Mikoto to him, from him to Mikoto and the engines on his brain reaching a very wrong conclusion, "Damn, if you wanted to be alone with your boyfriend here then maybe don't try dragging Saiki, then."

"What" Aiura blinked, expression an almost perfect copy of the boy just mentioned, "What!?" she frowned.

"Miko-chan and I aren't dating" Touma decided to explain, "First of all, because I'm very much gay" he had to admit he was surprised when the other boy just stared at him, instead of making a disgusted sound or gesture, he'd seemed like the homophobic type to him, if he was being honest, "Second of all, because even if I was straight, she's very much too pretty for me anyways." Aiura snorted at that, tension leaving her body, Touma realiving with pride at the realization. She playfully punched him in the arm, little to no force applied in the gesture, reminding Touma of all those weeks ago, both of them walking side by side in pursue of some ice cream.

"Stop it, you" Aiura took a sit next to him, "you know if you were straight and I wasn't so in love with Kusuo" a sting, right there, a tiny one, but a sting nonetheless, that he brushed aside, "We'd totally be dating and being hella cute together right now."

"Ew." Toritsuka said then, Touma tilting his head towards him, Mikoto squinting in his direction, as if warning him, "Get a room, you two."


And then.

"You know what?" Aiura said, both index fingers pointing towards Toritsuka, "Somehow, you always manage to amaze me. How can a single human being be so incredible stupid? That will always remain a mistery to me."

"Oh, yeah!?" Toritsuka stood up, palms pressing the wooden table, face contorted in anger, "Well! Why don't we talk about the mistery of those-"

"Your orders are here!" Mera Chisato interrupted just in time, cheerful voice the perfect way to shut anyone up. In her hands a tray with a cheesecake, a lemon pie, a strawberry cake and a coffee jelly ready to eat, "Sorry for the delay! Hi, guys!" 

"Hiii, Chisapoyo" Mikoto waved at her friend, grinning excitedly. "The cheesecake for me, please. And the coffee jelly. Kusuo will arrive soon."

"Sure thing!"

"Hello again, Mera-san" Touma said, smiling as the strawberry cake was placed in front of him, "thank you."

"My pleasure." Mera nodded at him.

"Hey" Toritsuka flashed Mera with what Touma guessed was supposed to be a seductive smile, "i'll take the lemon pie.~"

Mera grinned at him.

"Sit down first, please" Toritsuka did as he was told, "thank You! Here You go. And let me kindly remind You that we have a very strict policy here in café Mami. Any demonstation of hatred, wjicht includes but it's not límited to homophic and misognistic behaviour will result in the person being asked to leaving this stablishment and never come back.~" Touma blinked. That had being a very impressive rant, he defenetily could tell.

"Ah... Sure..." Toritsuka shrinked where he was sitting. Touma found out he didn't feel bad for him. He took a bite of his strawberry cake. It was good! "Sorry..." Mera smiled at him, tray now flat against her belly.

"Please enjoy your desserts" with a short bow, she walked away.

"Well" Aiura said, a few seconds later, "serves you right."

"Shut up." Toritsuka sniffed, half of his lemon cake gone, "and where de heck is Saiki, anyways? I'll eat his coffe jelly if he doesn't appear."

"No, you won't" Touma, Mikoto and Kusuo himself said, Reita letting out a high pitched screamed at that.

"When did YOU EVEN-"

"Shut up." Saiki chastized, Toritsuka growling like a dog. "And move."

"Why-" in a blink of an eye, Toritsuka found himself sitting next to Akechi, Aiura smirking in his direction, sitting where Toritsuka had been just a second ago, "WHY-"

"God you are slow" Mikoto sighed, "anyways, here you go, Kusuo. Open up" to the medium's immense surprised, Saiki actually listened to her, spoon of the brown dessert dissapearing inside his mouth. Perplex, Toritsuka turned towards Akechi, who's smile was big and bright and knowing. He nodded, for once not needing  nor wanting to use his words. Yes, they are dating.

There were times Touma wished he wasn't born gifted with such an amazing ability to connect data and mostly always be right about the conclusions he managed to come up with. But right in that moment, while Toritsuka Reita was having a mini breakdown all on his own, Touma thanked whatever deity or higher power chose him to wield it, the inner turmoil of the medium boy was certainly entertaining to read.