Actions

Work Header

Sometimes The Stars Align

Chapter Text

Sometimes The Stars Align

 

Chapter 1

It was a cold and wet night in the middle of December, I woke up to the wind howling through my windows. I checked my phone, 3.45am. “Ugh.” I moaned to myself and tossed over to the other side of the bed where my husband lay, fast asleep. I closed my eyes shut and wrapped my arms sleepily around his torso.

——————————

“Claire?” I couldn’t figure out if I was awake or asleep. “Claire!!” I felt a hand on my shoulder lightly shaking me. my eyes would not open even when I tried. “What?” I snapped in my sleepy tone. “Darling, it’s 7.30.” Frank’s voice said.

“7.30?” I said in my head. The realisation of the time hit me and I shot up, “SHIT!” I jumped out of bed and saw a very amused Frank stood giggling at me. “Well I’m very glad you are laughing, sir!”
“I’m sorry love, it was just so funny seeing you jump out of bed like that.”
“Yes, well..I’m very late and I’m due to be there by 8.30 to settle in a new starter.”

I stood up and grabbed my wash bag from the dressing table and quickly wrapped my robe around my naked body. Frank followed me to the en-suite bathroom still giggling away at me. I bent down to turn the shower on and started to undress, Frank stood still in the doorway watching me.

“Are you going to stand there gawping at me?”
“Well if I can’t stand back and admire my wife, what can I do?” He joked. “Will you be home for dinner?” Frank enquired. “No I’m sorry darling, I’m on a long day. Like I said I have the new starter today, I finish at 8.30. I will grab pizza on the way home.” I squeezed the last tiny drop of my favourite coconut scented shampoo into my hand. shaking as hard as possible to get out the remainder. “Bastard!” I scoffed. “Please remind me to go grocery shopping tomorrow, Frank.” I lathered the small amount of soap into my hair as I noticed frank hadn’t responded to me. “Frank??” I repeated. Nothing. I turned my head around the shower curtain. He was still stood there, only this time head buried into his phone.

“Frank!” I snapped. “Oh, sorry darling. Yes?” He shook his head and looked at me. Something was bothering him. “What’s wrong?” My brows knitted together in confusion and I turned my back to turn off the shower. “Oh, ah, it’s nothing darling, don’t worry.” I could sense the unease in his voice. How strange, I thought.

“Well there is obviously something up, tell me...” I said now standing in front of him with my towel wrapped around me. “It’s just work, I’ve a lot on at the moment.” He smiled and bent down to kiss me before I could pry any further. “I’m off darling, enjoy your day. I love you.” He walked back through our bedroom and out into the kitchen and grabbed his keys. “I love you..too” I said as the door shut behind him.

 

I jumped into my car, teeth chattering from the cold icy Scottish morning. God what I wouldn’t give to go back to bed. I started the engine and began on my journey to work.

 

“Good morning, love.” My best friend flashed me a very happy smile, for that time of the morning. “Morning, Gellie.” I responded less enthusiastic than she. “What’s that face for? Ye ken, ye looked like someone hit ye wi’ a fish??” She laughed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t sleep all to well and I woke up late and rushed in. I haven’t even had a coffee!” I threw my hands up in the air with frustration. “Aye, I can tell. Good job ye best pal here grabbed one for ye on the way.” She handed me a Starbucks coffee cup.

“Gellie, you diamond.”

I wrapped my hands around the warm coffee cup, a little more contented.
“I ken, don’t ye forget it. What’s on the agenda today then?” She smiled up at me from sipping her coffee, I sat down in the chair next to her and flashed my work fob on the keyboard to log into the system. “I think I have a student nurse today. Which, I could really do without.” I sighed and began typing to find my list of things to do for my shift, I checked my assigned patients and their notes.

“Oh aye, I forgot. Ye’ll be taking our Jamie under yer wing today.” Geillis began typing at her own keyboard. “Our Jamie?” I questioned with confusion. “Aye, ye ken Dougal’s nephew?” She sat to face me. “Oh, I don’t remember you mentioning him.” I rolled my eyes at myself. “Well thank ye, shows how much ye listen to me.” She laughed.

Geillis had become my best friend since I moved to Scotland last year. She took me under her wing from my first shift at the hospital and tought me the ropes. She took me out for drinks in the city to help me get used to my whole new world. Geillis was married to Dougal, they had 3 children and had been married 10 years. Myself and Frank had only been married 2 years, we settled in Oxfordshire and then a change of circumstances in Frank’s job brought us to Scotland.

 

Shortly after I had gotten all my files sorted for the day I checked my watch, 8.55am the student nurse was due to take shift at 9am. I gathered all my things together that I would need to explain the basics to him.
I heard footsteps coming towards me and and a low husky Scottish voice spoke. “Hello, I am the student nurse.” I turned around and nearly lost my balance at the sight I saw. The tallest man with the most beautiful mop of red curls you ever saw, piercing blue eyes that I felt burn a hole in my chest, the purest smile I ever saw. His face changed to confusion and I realised I hadn’t said anything at all. I was just stood starring. oh my god he must think me a freak.

“Oh, hello, yes...sorry I’m not with it just yet.” I laughed, nervously.
“Ah, no worries...my name is James, James Fraser.” He held his hand out to shake mine and I froze for a second.

Christ woman get it together.

I politely reached for his hand, shaking it lightly. Jesus mother, his hand swallowed mine it was so big and warm...and, Christ stop it.

“It’s nice to meet you, James. I’m Claire....Randall, Nurse Randall.” I felt the colour rush to my cheeks as he slightly grinned at me and I hadn’t realised I was still holding onto his hand. I pulled away quickly and shifted slightly back. “Nice to meet ye, Nurse Randall.”

Chapter Text

~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

I started by showing Mr Fraser all the observation machines, how to attach a drip and how to tend to minor burn wounds. He watched me with such concentration and threw himself into the role at hand. He was very caring and compassionate, chatty and witty with the patients. He even had Mr Thomas in bed 5 laughing. That man hadn’t smiled since he was admitted.

I looked down at my watch 11.47am. Shoot I thought, dinner time was nearly upon us and I still had to show James how to do the bed pans.

“Alright, Mr Fraser it’s nearly noon but we will quickly go through the bed pan changing before we take lunch.” I smiled at him and ushered him to follow me. “

Ah, Aye. Naut like a bed pan before ye dinner.” He chuckled. He was right, probably not the nicest thing before eating but it had to be done, after all it was part of the job role.

“Yes, I know. You will get used to it.” I winked as I walked towards the ward, my cheeks turning crimson and I slightly cringed at my actions. Christ, Randall, What is your problem I scolded myself.

 

 

We walked slowly to the cafeteria together chatting about the job, mainly.
“So how long have ye been a nurse then, Nurse Randall?” James said as we queued up.

“Ah, 3 years now. I studied in Oxfordshire and then I worked in London until last year when I moved here and started working at this hospital.” I smiled while rummaging through my bag for my purse.

“So what brings ye to bonny Scotland, eh?”

“Oh well, it was my husband actually. His job changed company and moved here.” I responded. Hi slowly dropped when I said the word ‘husband’ surely he wasn’t disappointed? God, Claire...you need sleep.

“Ah, husband?” James said.

“Yes, Frank...married 2 years now.” I smiled at him but he looked away, why was he acting as if I had given him some sort of terrible news? I thought I would quickly change the subject.

“And you, James? What got you into nursing?” I walked forward in the line and approached the refrigerator, I lent down to pick up a chicken salad, a bottle of water and a banana.
“Health kick, is it?” He teased.

“Oh, no, well sort of.” I nervously laughed and James picked himself up a tripe chicken sandwich, crisps and a can of Coca Cola. I smiled at the complete difference in our choices.

“Oh back to nursing, aye...well, I lost my parents young, ye ken? My mother passed not long after she had my wee brother, and my da only last year.” I saw the pain behind James’ eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry James...” I slowly walked towards a table for us to have our lunch.

“Oh, please call me Jamie.” He flashed me that mesmerising smile. “Jamie.” I repeated.

“Well, in that case...call me Claire.”

“Aye, Claire.” We both tucked into our lunches and continued talking about our passion for nursing.

“So, ye ken, I felt like since I couldna save my parents, I feel a duty to help save as many other people as I can.” He blamed himself for his parents death but I couldn’t understand why. What was causing him so much pain? I was desperate to find out what it was that made him blame himself.

 

 

The rest of the shift went really quickly and I learned all about Jamie’s nursing studies and what type of nursing he was really passionate about. He talked about nursing with such adoration and pride. I felt my heart swell every time he spoke of his need to care
for people. He was a very kind person.

 

8.30pm came and I was collecting all my stuff from my locker when Jamie approached me. “Nurse Randall?...uh, Claire?” He said with shyness in his voice.

“Yes?” I responded shoving my uniform into my bag.

“I just...eh, I want to thank ye..for today, helping me and such.” He shoved his hands in his Jean pockets and rocked back on his heals.

“It was my pleasure, you did very well, I am impressed.” I began walking towards the elevator and Jamie followed me down to the parking lot.

“I enjoyed myself.” He followed me to my car where I stood still.

“Well, this is me...” I said nervously.

“Ah, Aye. I’ll be off to catch my bus then.” He stood still and looked around awkwardly.

“Oh surely not? Would you like a lift?” I offered pressing my key fob and unlocking the doors.

“Ach, no I dinna wish to bother ye. Thank ye, though.”

“Jamie, it’s no bother, really. You’ve been on your feet all day. You deserve a hot supper and you won’t get one waiting around for a bus.” I said opening my car door and slipping into the driver seat.

He still stood in the same spot. “Come on, before I run you over.” And with that, he climbed in next to me. I could smell his cologne, strong in my nostrils. He smelt sweet.

“Where can I take you?” I said pulling out of the parking lot.

“Ah, just to bridge street, if ye dinna mind. I’m crashing wi a friend.”

“Girlfriend?” I said, all too quickly.

“Oh, no, no. Just my friend, Fergus from university.”

I sighed in relief to hear his friend was a male. Why did that bother me?

We pulled up outside of the block of flats and I looked around scanning every inch of it.

“Well, that’s me. I’ll thank ye Claire.” He said reaching for the door.

“Bye Jamie, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled as he climbed out of my car, leaning his head back in he said

“Aye, you will. Good night, Sassenach.”

“What?” I said taken aback. “Oh, I’m sorry, it only means ‘English woman’ or ‘outlander’ I dinna mean to offend ye, truly.” He went a rather bright shade of red.

“No, I’m not offended. Good night, Jamie.”
with that the door closed and I drove off home.

I couldn’t be bothered with grabbing pizza or anything really, I just wanted to get home and sleep.

As I pulled into the drive I noticed a silver Audi parked on the corner of the street. Who could that be? I walked up to the steps, unlocked my front door and nearly fainted at what I saw.

Chapter Text

I stood still in the door way, tears instantly pricked at my eyes. I couldn’t speak. I froze, everything around me stopped all I could hear was the sound of my heart beat, ringing into my ears.

“Shit, Claire..” Frank shot up from the sofa fumbling with the fly on his jeans. I stood still completely frozen.

A young blonde woman sat on the couch in nothing but a skirt and bra, she quickly grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head and scrambled all her belongings together. “Get out of my house.” I said shakily.

The girl stood staring at me with shock. “I said, get out of my FUCKING HOUSE.” my voice turned to a high pitched squeal as the girl scurried past me.

Frank came towards me holding his hands out. “Don’t you touch me, don’t you ever fucking touch me, do you hear me?” The tears burned hot as they trickled down my face. But I was more angry than upset.

 

“Claire, darling please...let me explain?”

 

“Explain? I think you’ve explained enough, Frank. get out!” I screeched at him walking past him throwing my bag and coat on the floor.

“Claire, please.” He begged and stepped towards me.

“Get out, get out right now!!!!!” My voice breaking with sobs.

“I’m not going anywhere, Claire. This is our home.” He said in a soft tone.

“Our home? Our fucking home, how dare you!!!” I cried, throwing my hands in the air.

“Be reasonable, Claire!!” Sharpening his tongue.

“Reasonable?” I laughed and began brushing my hands through my mop of curls that were stuck to my head from the sweat of working all day.

I couldn’t comprehend what was going on, I couldn’t think, couldn’t see. Everything was being taken over by anger.

“Leave me alone Frank. I mean it, I don’t want to look at you. Go, now.” I said slightly calmer, but still firm. I had my arms folded across my chest with my back to him, pacing.

“Please....baby.” He whined, like a child.

I lost it all. I completely lost it all. I ran at him, full of rage and started pounding my fists at his chest.

“How could you?! How fucking could you!?!” I screamed in his face.

He gripped my wrists and starred down at me.

“Claire stop, just listen. I’m sorry, I love you, please. It’s always been you. I’m so sorry. Love, look at me.”

He cupped my face between both hands and placed his lips on mine, I pulled back with no hesitation. “I told you never to touch me again, get out.”

I pushed hard against his chest and he finally gave in. Grabbing his blazer and keys and heading out the door slamming it behind him.

I couldn’t breathe, my chest was heavy and tight. I fell against the kitchen island and slid down it, sobbing uncontrollably. I brought my knees up to my chest as I sobbed more and more.

 

I stayed there for what felt like an eternity i sat starring for hours, the tears had dried on my cheeks. I was snapped back to reality by my phone buzzing. I pulled my self up from the floor and grabbed my bag to find my phone.

Damn alarm, it was 6.30am. How? How did I sit there for hours without moving? I just sat and thought about the past two years of my life with Frank and it was all for nothing.

 

I decided on pulling myself together and going to work to distract myself.

I hopped in the shower letting the warm water caress my skin and I didn’t even notice I was crying again.
I pulled my fresh uniform from the wardrobe and slipped into it, I lightly brushed the curly mess from my face pulling it into a bobble.
I then made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror, god how did I end up here?
A bit of concealer and mascara to hide the pain.

 

I was disappointed when I turned up to work and remembered Gellie wasn’t due in until lunch time because she had an appointment at the school with her children. All I wanted to do was confide in her.

I was lost in thought when logging into my computer and a hand lightly touched my shoulder.

“Shit!” I jumped back.

“I’m sorry, lass, dinna mean to scare ye.” Jamie said with wide eyes looking at me. My heart beat increased dramatically.

“Oh no, it’s fine I’m sorry.” I mumbled returning my gaze back to the screen.

“Claire, are ye alright?” Jamie put his hand back on my shoulder, my heart pounding again.

“Yes, thank you.” I said sharply and stood up so quickly my head spinned.

“Right, I need to see to Mrs Jackson.” I smiled trying to change the subject and break the tension.

“Aye, I’ll come wi ye.”

“Yeah, sure..” I began rummaging through the files to find my patients notes.
Back and forth I flicked through the pages and I couldn’t find her within the files. I slammed them down on the counter.
“Jesus H Roosevelt CHRIST!” I cursed. Jamie looked at me with shock.

“I’m sorry...” the tears began pooling in my eyes again and I turned on my heal and ran into the locker rooms.

I made it into the room before letting it all out, my sobs became more like whaling.

Suddenly I felt a large pair of arms wrap around me and I fell against his chest. Wait, his chest?

I looked up and Jamie was starring down at me with concerned eyes. I didn’t even register how wrong this was but I let it happen I just felt I needed his comfort.

“Shhh now, dinna cry lass.” He hushed into my ear and I carried on sobbing, he stroked my hair with his free hand and placed his head on top of mine.

“It’s alright, mo neghean donn, it’s alright.”
He cooed in my ear. I felt myself relax into him and managed to control my sobs.

I stayed in his arms for what I thought was hours, I slowly peeled myself from him. Actually disappointed at the lack of contact.

“Oh, Jamie. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to...” he stopped me mid sentence.

“Shhh now, Sassenach. Yer alright, what is it?” He traced my cheek bone with his fingers and I felt a wave of pleasure rush through my body. It’s the grief, it’s the upset, it’s the disorientation.

“I....uh, when, I got home last night...” I began crying again.

“My uh, hus....husband, was fucking another woman.” I blurted it out. And I squeezed my eyes shut. I felt embraced by him once again.

“Oh Claire,” he breathed into my hair. “Jesus, bastard.” I could feel his jaw tensing on my head.
“Dinna fash now, eh? I got you.” He stroked my back, drawing circles...I could of easily fallen asleep, my body limp with exhaustion.

“Come on, mo ghràidh.” He sat me forward and wiped my tears from my eyes.
“D’ye want me to call anyone for ye, Sassenach?” He starred at me with such depth I thought I would drown in the blue of his eyes.

“Uh, no, no it’s okay..I need to get back to work.” I tried to pull myself to my feet but realised I was too weak, Jamie wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me to my feet.

“There ye go, lass.” He spoke softly.

“Thank you Jamie,” I sniffled.

“You really should get some rest, ye ken?”

“I know, I will after I finish...I can’t I have patients now and...” he stopped me mid sentence.

“Ye in no state to work, sassenach. Lemme take you home, eh?” He smiled at me.

“But you can’t drive...” I sort of giggled at my comment.

“Aye, I can. I just dinna have a car.”

Chapter Text

My car rolled up outside my drive, I couldn’t believe I had let Jamie drive my car home. I barely even knew the man and he’d practically picked my broken soul of the floor and carried it.

I said nothing the entire way back to my place I starred out the window letting the emotion and tiredness take over my body.

I felt emotional but emotionless at the same time, I didn’t even know that was possible. I know Jamie was worried about me and it was kind of him to be, he kept looking back at me sighing as if he wanted to take my pain onto himself instead.

I climbed out of my car, unsure if my feet could even carry me to up the stairs and to my door, Jamie wrapped an arm around my waist to steady me, my body was weak. I was grateful for Jamie’s assistance. I fumbled into my bag looking for my keys. Mumbling curse words under my breath.

“Looking for these?” Jamie dangled my keys in front of my face, of course he had them he’d driven my bloody car. I shook my head at my own stupidity.

I unlocked my door and switched on the kitchen light, there was empty bottles of wine on the side, my clothes from yesterday on the floor, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Claire?” A voice said from the corner of the room. I knew instantly it was frank, he got up and walked towards me. A voice came from behind me.

“I grabbed ye work clothes from the car, Sassenach...” Jamie said and finished quickly before realising Frank was stood in front of me. Jamie’s face changed to anger, as did Franks.

“And who is this? Oh I see, revenge sex?” Frank scoffed at me and I looked at him with such anger and hatred. I felt nothing for the man. I loathed him.

“And so what if it is, eh? How would you feel if you saw him, holding me, taking me!” I got up in his face and I could see the blood rising from head to toe.

I had completely forgotten Jamie was stood behind me. Oh my god!! Jamie! he probably felt so awkward. I felt ashamed I had put him in such a situation.

“You little slut, you can’t say anything about adultery bringing this barbarian to our home.” Frank almost spat the words at me which only got me more angry, I felt Jamie move close to me and I look down at his clenched fists. He wanted to protect me.

I laughed in Frank’s face at the audacity of what he was saying.

“Me? A slut? I haven’t been fucking anyone, well not yet anyway. Come on, Jamie.” I spat back and pushed my way past Frank.
I knew I was wrong using Jamie as bait, making Frank jealous but I saw an opportunity and I took it.

“You really are a whore.” He then turned his head to Jamie. “And you, how dare you come to my house to fuck my wife.” Frank slowly got closer and closer to Jamie. Oh no. Oh god no.

Jamie scoffed and shook his head.
“I’m no’ here to fuck ye wife, I’m here to help her, after yer mistakes. The only one fucking people round here is you.”

Jamie was full of anger I could tell, he was ready to start a war right there in my kitchen with Frank. I suddenly felt anxiety over come me. I needed It all to stop.

Frank then swung his fist towards Jamie, I gasped in shock and tried to move in between them. Frank’s fist collided with my jaw instead of Jamie’s.

My natural reflex was to hold my face, I felt my lip pouring with blood.

“God, Claire, darling I’m so sorry..” Frank came forward towards me.

“Dinna touch her!” Jamie barked and threw his fist at Frank.
Jesus Christ, I couldn’t take much more of this.

“Stop it! Just stop it!” I screamed and walked to the sink to wipe the blood from my lip.

Frank grabbed his keys and stormed out.
I felt the tears rushing down my face and my lip pulsating from the split in it.

“Christ, Claire..I’m so sorry lass.” Jamie came rushing towards me and scooped me up in his arms. I felt safe. I felt protected.
I stayed in his arms crying as he whispered calming ‘shhh’ sounds into my head. “Ah, mo chridhe.”

“Jamie...I, I’m sorry, for saying what I said about us to frank, I shouldn’t...”

Jamie stopped me by pulling my body away from his he cupped his hands around my face and looked deep into my eyes, it was as if he could read my soul.

“Claire...” he rested his head against mine.
and I closed my eyes and just let it be. I let myself be embraced by this man, I let myself be comforted and cared for.

~

 

*Gellie*; Claire what the devil is going on????
*Claire*; I’m sorry I wasn’t in for our shift, come over?
*Gellie* Aye, I finish in an hour.

I put my phone down and Jamie sat next to me with a coffee in each hand. I was sat on the sofa with the blanket wrapped around me, I must’ve looked like a sad child.
“Thank you, Jamie.”

“Ach, it’s just a wee coffee, Sassenach.”
Jamie gave a smile and wink, he took a sip from his mug without taking his eyes off of my own.

“You know I didn’t mean the coffee, thank you for today. For helping me and witnessing that awful fight. I didn’t even ask, Are you hurt?”

I scooted closer and put my coffee onto the table and placed my hand on his chin to examine his face, he had a small purple bruise under his eye. I felt his breath hot on my cheeks. It tickled my skin, goosebumps arose all over my body. I shook the thoughts from my head. “T’is but one more bruise, dinna fash, Sassenach.”

I felt as if my heart was going to burst, he had been so kind to me, to someone he barely knew...he stuck up for me against my own bloody husband. He intrigued me, I didn’t know what it was about him but I felt connected to him somehow, like we understood one another.

“Thanks again, Jamie.” I walked him towards my front door to see him out.

“Ah, nae bother....I’m just glad ye alright..” he traced his finger over my cheek, heat rising through my body at his very touch.

I stepped up on my tippy toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, my breathing got heavy and I could hear the increase of his breath, also.

“Bye Jamie, see you in a couple of days.”

“Aye, rest up...bye, mo neghean donn,”

I closed the door and pressed my body against it sighing. I couldn’t even comprehend the day I had.
Just as I walked away from the door I heard a loud thud, Christ had he forgotten something? My heart fluttered at the thought of his return.
I opened it to see Gellie stood there with chocolates and a bottle of wine.
“Need a shoulder?” She laughed, shaking the wine at me.
I nodded my head and stood aside for her to enter.

God I did, I really did need her.

Chapter Text

The next morning I woke up on with my head thumping. It took me a while to peel my eyes open and take in what was going on around me. Gellie had stayed with me all night, she sat for hours listening to me pour out everything that was inside of me, we drank wine and ended up dancing to soppy love songs by 3am. I looked over to my friend who was face planted in the pillow next to me hair stuck up, I giggled at the state we were both in.

 

I pulled the quilt from my body and gathered myself together. I needed aspirin before my head rolled off of my shoulders.
I wrapped my robe around myself and headed off into the kitchen. Rummaging through the medicine box to find the pill I needed. Gellie appeared in the door way nearly making me drop the medicines all over the floor.

“Jesus, G!” I held my hand to my heart as it was beating through my chest.

“Mornin’ pass me some of those, Aye?” Gellie held her hand out for me to place the aspirin in her palm, I did just that and went over to the sink to pour us both a glass of water. I gulped down the water, I hadn’t realised I was so dehydrated.

“Right, I need to get back home, Before I start my shift.” Gellie began gathering up her handbag and coat, she sat down to put her boots on to her feet.

“Ah, G I think I need some time off.” I sat down on the sofa opposite to where Geillis was putting on her boots.

“Aye, I think ye should. Ye need to sort it wi’ Frank, ye ken? Dinna fash, I’ll speak to the head nurse for you, Aye?” Gellie stood up and wrapped her coat around her body and finished drinking her glass of water before heading back through the kitchen.

“Thanks Gellie, for everything.” I smiled at my best friend, I really was thankful for her and everything she has ever done for me since moving to Scotland she has been the best friend I could ever ask for.

“I’ll send ye wishes to your wee fox.” Gellie reached for the door handle, she had been teasing me about Jamie coming to my aid yesterday and helping me. I told her over and over it was just a coincidence that it was with him I lost control, I think I would’ve melted in front of a patient with the state of mind I was in yesterday.

“G, he’s not ‘my wee fox’ he was just helping me and being a friend.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to reassure Geillis or myself. With that she planted a kiss on my cheek and off she went down to her car.

I closed the door sighing at the mess that had become my life. The were empty pizza boxes all over the kitchen side, 3 empty bottles of wine on the coffee table, wine glasses in the sink, my clothes still from two days ago on the floor. I couldn’t just sit in the mess I needed to clear it away, clear frank away. I pulled up my phone and hesitated over Frank’s phone number.

*dialling* I anxiously bit the skin around my thumb, anticipating his answer.

“Claire?” Frank answered with a soft tone in his voice.

“Frank, Hello. I, just, I wanted to maybe talk.” I said with embarrassment and rubbing my hand over my forehead in hope that it would ease the thumping against my skull.

“Yes, darling I would love that, I’ll come over soon?” I could hear the excitement in his voice, like a child that had been given a candy bar after a week of being good for their parents.

“Okay.”

 

——————

 

A couple of hours later Frank had turned up, he was taken aback by the house we lived in, it was spotless I had cleaned everywhere, polished everything. It was positively sparkling. His eyes quickly followed to the three suitcases in the corner of the room and I could see his shoulders tense and his face scrunch up.

“Claire...” he started and began walking towards me.

“Frank don’t, I’m not here to go back and forth with you. I have packed up most of the essentials you will need for now, In time when you are settled I will send over the rest of your things to you.” I nervously wrapped my arms across my chest underneath my best bone and I walked around in circles.

“Please can we just talk about this baby? We can still have a life together; Claire please...I am your husband, you are my wife.” He pleaded with me and I could hear his voice break, for a moment I almost felt sorry for him, like I wanted to hold him to stop the pain, it took all of my strength not to do that.

“Frank, I’m so tired, I can’t go over this again, I just can’t. You chose to end our marriage and that’s it. I want you to leave and I want a divorce.” I knew Frank was angry, I knew he wasn’t going to give up easily but i needed him to accept my decision.

He moved in front of me and wrapped his arms around me, he pulled me to his chest my head was leaning against his collar bone, I didn’t move I froze in the spot he held me in, my arms still folded against my chest. He started tracing his hands up and down my back and planted kisses on my head. He bent down kissed my cheek, pulling my face to level with his. “I love you.” He whispered against my cheek.

The tears began pooling in my eyes again and I let myself go. I kissed him, hard and passionate, my mouth parted, allowing access for his tongue. Next I was up against the wall and he was pulling the shirt over my head and I began quickly undoing the buttons on his shirt, he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, his hands travelling down to my ass, squeezing tight.

He carried me through to the bedroom and lay me down. Trailing kisses from my mouth, down my neck and between my breasts. I froze for a second and stopped what I was doing. Frank looked up at me with confusion in his eyes.

“Claire, what’s wrong?” He lowered his body to mine and kissed me again, I didn’t kiss back this time and I pushed his chest off me and pulled myself up and sat against the head board.

“I can’t do this Frank.” The warm salty tears dripping down my face once again.
“You what? So you tease me and then just fuck me off?” He stood up and ran his hands through his hair, sighing deeply.

“I’m sorry we can’t do this, it’s over Frank, we are done.” I said so quietly I wasn’t even sure he heard me. His eyes darted in my direction, I could see the anger rising in his body. He grabbed his shirt and began re buttoning it, sighing the entire time he dressed himself.

He walked out of our bedroom and I followed behind him, still only in my bra and jogging pants.
He put his coat on, grabbed his keys and turned to me. “I’ll call my lawyer.” He opened the front door and slammed it behind him. I stood on the other side of the door sighing with frustration, anger, upset and regret.

Chapter Text

 

 

I had spend 3 days at home cleaning through the house, I emptied my closet and threw out a bunch of old clothes, I cleared out all of Franks things he had shoved at the back of the wardrobe; old car magazine, DVDs, leather jackets. I threw them all in a bin bag and left it on the porch for him.

I had a locksmith come over to change the locks on all the doors and windows in the house so I was sure Frank wouldn’t be letting himself back into my house.

It was a freezing Monday morning on December 18th, I was due back to work today.
7.30am came and I opened my car, the windows frozen over with ice. I had to get out and use de-icer on my windows. I sat back in the front seat clutching my coffee travel mug to warm up. I let the engine run to warm through my car and quickly pulled out my phone to text Gellie.

*Claire*: Christ, it’s Baltic. Get that coffee pot warmed up, I will need a lot today.

G replied almost instantly.

*Gellie*: Aye, it’s a wee bit nippy. Already on it, Jamie’s just got here.

My heart fluttered when I read his name, Jamie...I had basically forgotten about him since his encounter with Frank the other day. I had no idea how I would approach him to even begin to apologise for putting him in the position that I did. My heart was beating at the thought of having to talk to him again.
he must think I’m crazy.

 

I swiped my key fob against the door to let myself into the ward and walked to the nurses station, Gellie was sat on her phone in her office chair, I threw my bag on the floor and slumped next to her.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I half smiled and began logging into my system to bring up the patient files to see what I had to do today.
I heard those familiar footsteps coming towards me again. I turned round and Jamie was stood towering over me, strong blue eyes smiling.

“Good morning, Claire.” He sat down next to me on a office chair and I watched his every movement.
“Morning, Mr Fraser.” I responded and quickly broke the eye contact and continued typing up what I had to do for the day, checking notes and new admissions.

I read my handovers from the night staff. Mr Alan Lewis had been admitted to bed 7, he’d suffered a heart attack at home and his wife called an ambulance, he had managed to be stabilised and he is having regular observations.

 

I went through to bed 2 to check on a patient that needed a catheter bag emptied and change from night to day. Jamie followed me into the room and watched me with depth, I slid my gloves on and tied my pinny around my waist.

“Hello, Mr Johnson. My name is Nurse Randall, I will be changing your catheter today. This is Mr Fraser, he will be here to assist me.” I explained and the man gave me a nod, I don’t think he cared.

I slowly emptied some of the urine into a disposable bowl showing Jamie how to attach and re attach bags to the catheter. “Would you like to try?” I smiled offering him the chance to do something practical.

“Aye,” he lent down and fumbled with the little tab on the side of the catheter bag that closed and opened for the liquid to be released. It came dripping out of the tube and Jamie smiled, I could see he was proud of himself.

 

It was soon time for lunch. Myself and Jamie found our usual dinner spot , I had bought another salad, fruit and water. Jamie opted for pizza. I didn’t mind eating with him it was nice really to generally get to know each other, he was funny and smart. He always said something that made me laugh, and he wasn’t at all bad to look at. those beautiful copper ringlets and bright blue eyes, he was a very tall man I would say 6’5, easily. From what I could tell through his shirt, it looked like he works out...a lot. I was sat taking him in as he was talking about some of the patients he’d met and how he’d helped an elderly woman back to her bed because she had gotten confused as to where she was.
Jamie finished talking and I looked at him for a second, my chest tightening with anxiety about bringing up our incident the other day.

“Jamie, I wanted to apologise to you, properly about the other day, with Frank..” I looked at him with embarrassment slapped all over my face, I saw Jamie smirking at me from across the table.

“I told ye, it’s nae bother, I dinna mind being there for a friend.” Jamie took a bite from his pizza and I felt my heart twinge when he said ‘friend’ I don’t know why it bothered me, it just did.

“I must buy you a coffee as a thanks.” I said shyly moving my salad around the plate with my fork. Jamie nodded his head.

“Aye, ye dinna need to do that but if ye must, I’ll oblige.” His smile was so sweet, he was pure inside and out. I didn’t think someone could be so perfect, he had it all, the looks, the personality and the heart.

 

 

Later on Jamie carried on helping me with my patients, checking and taking blood, changing bed pans, talking with the physio therapist about patients walking aids and possible discharge.

I was in the office writing down my notes from the day, Jamie sat down with me to watch, I told him how to document everything in the correct way and I showed him bed charts, turning charts (for those bed bound) I went through the urine and stool charts also. He was so eager to learn and he listened to everything I said so closely, I even noticed him jotting down notes.

 

“Right, we’ve got 15 minutes left of the shift, shall we check in on Mr Lewis?” I asked pushing my pen between the bun on my head, bad habit of mine, I go home with about 6 pens in my hair.

“Aye, what’s he in for again?” Jamie questioned me and licked his lips, I had noticed he did it every time he spoke. His lips where so red and prominent, they looked perfect..I wondered what he could do with them. I snapped out of my vulgar thoughts and returned to the question Jamie had asked.

“Heart attack, his wife found him on the bathroom floor early hours this morning.” I heard Jamie suck in a deep breath as he listened to what I was saying, I brushed it off and stood up walking out of the office and towards bed 7. Jamie slowly followed me behind, I pulled back the curtain and it hit me straight away. I knew the minute I had entered the room, Mr Lewis had passed away.

I put my files down on the chair that was next to his hospital bed and looked at my watch while trying to feel a pulse in his wrist and neck. Nothing. His body still felt warm so he couldn’t of died long ago, his eyes were open, I bent down to close them.

I turned back and saw Jamie stood in the corner shaking like a leaf, he looked pale and I thought he may vomit at any point. I wondered if this was the first time he had experienced death on the Job.

“I can’t....I’m sorry.” He rushed out of the room as quickly as he possibly could, I wanted so badly to run after him but I couldn’t I had to inform everyone of Mr Lewis’ passing, I had to call his wife to come down and contact the doctor to certify the death.

After I had finished dealing with Mr Lewis I went to try and find Jamie, he wasn’t at the desk in the Nurse station. So I thought I’d try else where, I went off into the Locker room and there he was head lent back against a locker, I could see a small tear trailing down his perfectly shaped face.
I wasn’t sure whether he would want me to comfort him, or leave him. I decided I would at least offer my comfort to him, as he did to me.

“Jamie? Are you alright?” I asked taking the smallest steps towards him. I placed my hand on his arm and he looked at me through wet lashes, I felt my heart beating through my whole body at the sight of him so distressed and sad, it hurt me.

“Aye lass, t’is nothing..” he smiled at me, I knew he was trying to be polite and maybe he was embarrassed that he’d shown his feelings.

“I can tell there isn’t, Jamie...talk to me,” I was still holding his arm and I slowly brushed my hand up and down his forearm tracing circles, my stare never left his.
He stayed quiet and I didn’t know what else I could say, I didn’t want to force it out of the lad. I thought maybe it was just tough to witness Mr Lewis’ body but I knew deep down there was something else bothering him.

“Jamie, our shift is over...let me take you home?” I smiled at him with reassurance and he returned a smile back and nodded.

Chapter Text

Jamie was practically silent the whole car ride. I could hear him sighing and I watched him rubbing his temples. I could tell there was something other than loosing a patient that was bothering him; I didn’t want to pry and force it out of him but I also wanted to be there for him and help him like he did for me.

I couldn’t make him tell me what was bothering him I could only hope that he would just want to confide in me, It wasn’t looking like he would as I slowly pulled up to the block of flats he was staying in.

I pulled my hand break on and shut off the engine. Jamie huffed and unbuckled his seat belt, I lent over and lightly brushed his arm with my finger tips.

“Jamie....” I looked deep into his beautiful but sad eyes, he tried to smile but I could see he didn’t want to.

“Thanks for the ride, Sassenach...I guess I’ll go then...” he rolled his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I said in a soft low tone, still keeping the strong eye contact.

“I just dinna ken if I can face going home,” he took another big sigh, it was as if there was something on top of his chest crushing him down.

“You don’t have to! Come, we can go back to my place....if you want?” I said nervously not wanting to sound too enthusiastic.

“Aye, that would be nice.” He smiled, for real, this time.

 

 

Jamie and I got back to my house, I opened the door and took both of our coats and hung them up, Jamie walked in small steps through my kitchen and sat himself down at the breakfast table.

“Drink?” I asked pulling a bottle of wine from the cupboard. He nodded in agreement and I began pouring the wine into our glasses, he didn’t speak. Not even a single word, he just watched me.

I handed Jamie his wine and ushered him to follow me through to the living room and I put on the electric fire to warm up. I switched on the television that was sat above the fire place. I chose a music channel just for background noise. ‘Snow is falling’ was playing. I sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to me for Jamie to sit down. He did, nervously rubbing his hands against his thighs. We both sat in silence for a while, drinking our wine. It wasn’t even awkward it was peaceful to just sit with one another and not have to say anything, I felt comforted and safe just by his presence alone.

“Thanks Claire, for letting me come over.” Jamie broke the silence and he seemed to of eased a little bit, he lent his back against the sofa.

“Not at all. I’m here for you, Jamie.” I smiled at him and he nodded, tears pooled in his eyes...they were like the ocean, waves flowing. I scooted closer to him and put my arm around his shoulders, he slid into me and let it out. He cried. God hecried so hard I could feel myself wanting to cry along with him. I stroked my hand through his mop of curls. I felt like I held a child in my arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...today just hit me hard..” he sniffled and rubbed his nose on the back of his sleeve.

“It’s okay, if you want to tell me I am here. If you don’t, that’s okay too.” I whispered.

“It’s my father ye ken? He died from a heart attack, I was away on holiday with my friends. He was home alone. He had gone to the kitchen to make himself a coffee and his heart stopped and he just collapsed..” Jamie’s hot tears where trickling down my neck between my breast bone.

“He wasn’t found until the day after when my sister, Jenny took the Bairns to see him. They saw it all, my Da lay on the floor lifeless...and I, I wasn’t there...I lived with him ye ken? I just canna believe I went away, if I had only stayed maybe I coulda...” his voice breaking.

I lifted his head from my shoulder and took his face in both my hands, our noses where inches apart, I looked at him deep with sympathy and compassion.

“Jamie, you can’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” I stroked my thumb over his cheek bone, he closed his eyes tight and lent his head into my hand.

“I couldna get back to Scotland for 5 days, Jenny had to tell me over the phone....I tried everything I could to get back home, I made it back 2 days before his funeral...I didna have time to grieve him before burying him.”

The pain of his Father’s absence stayed with him, he carried it and he couldn’t do anything other than blame himself for what happened to him.

“So how did you end up with Fergus, your friend from the flat?” I asked, my hands still on his cheeks caressing him.

“I couldna go back home after Da, I just...the memories, ye ken? The house has been left, hasna been touched since my Father died. So I asked my friend if I could stay with him a while, it’s been nearly a year now...I sleep on his couch.” He chuckled nervously. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t say anything...the words just wouldn’t come from my mouth, I had hoped Jamie had seen it all in my eyes.

I don’t know what came over me maybe it was the wine getting to my head. I felt I needed to comfort him in anyway I possibly could, I didn’t even think about my next move, I just did it. I slowly pressed my lips against his, unsure of how he would respond to me. Jamie parted his lips and began slowly kissing me back.

This is wrong, I know it’s wrong but it feels so right and I didn’t want it to stop.
I accidentally let out a moan into his mouth as he took my bottom lip between his teeth, my heart was racing and there was a full ache between my legs. I felt his body crush into me as he kissed me harder, passionate. His tongue traced my bottom lip for entrance, I obliged and continued to let him kiss me like we were the only two people in the world. His arms where wrapped around me and his hands traced up and down my back and then up through my hair, onto my neck he gripped me tight. I felt myself getting dizzy, from the alcohol and the lack of air.

I slowly pulled away, purely to breathe. Jamie looked away as soon as we had parted. Dread washed over me, uh oh...he hated it. shit, I fucked up.

“I’m sorry...if I read things wrong I didn’t mean to.” I said shaking my head. Jamie turned his head and looked at me stern, I could see the passion building in his eyes.

“Sorry?” He questioned, before I could answer him his mouth was back on mine and I accepted it instantly. We moved in sync with eachother, our bodies fitted together so perfectly...like a puzzle.

I slowly lay down and Jamie kissed me harder grabbing my hands and pinning them down to the sofa, he moved from my mouth and onto my neck, he nipped and sucked at the soft spot behind my ear. Pleasure washed over me, I couldn’t think about anything other than me and Jamie.

He trailed kisses down my throat, my collar bone and he approached the top of my breast. I had to stop this before it went to far, neither of us was thinking clearly, Jamie grief ridden and myself alcohol ridden.
I had to think realistically. Jamie found my mouth again and his hand began roaming on my left breast.

“Jamie,” I said through heavy breath, I pulled myself back on my elbows trying to sit myself up. Jamie stopped and looked down at me, disappointment and embarrassment washed over him. He leaned back and sat back in his spot on the sofa.

“I’m sorry...I should go.” Jamie stood up abruptly and then basically ran to grab his coat and headed towards the door. I stood up without thinking and followed after him.

“Wait! Jamie! Don’t go.....please?”

Chapter Text

-

 

 

Jamie stopped at the door after I had gone after him, he turned back around and looked at me.

“You...don’t have to go...” I whispered. Jamie sighed and took his coat of and hung it back on the cloak.

“Aye, I dinna want tae leave....ye dinna mind? I’m sorry if I took things too far.” He scratched the back of his head and couldn’t meet my eye, he was embarrassed.

“You didn’t, I made the move....I just didn’t want things to go too far when you are in a vulnerable place, that’s all.” I smiled at him and walked closer to him, his arms now crossed over his chest.

“Hug it out?” I giggled opening my arms for him to embrace me, he did and we both laughed. He nuzzled into my hair and I’m sure I could hear him breathe me in.

“Come....let’s watch a movie and chat, eh?” I smiled at him pulling away from the hug.
“Aye,”

We decided to watch a comedy which we barely even looked at, we didn’t do much else other than drink wine and talk, it felt like we talked for hours. Jamie told me all about his past, growing up in the Scottish highlands his childhood with his sister Jenny and brother Willie who he lost at a young age, he told me of the wooden snake he carved for his brother. And that he would always carve him little toys.

I told him about my upbringing in Oxfordshire and my marriage with Frank, I explained that we rushed our marriage we had only been together 3 months before we married. I talked to him about my journey through med school and my first nursing jobs.

I felt at ease with jamie, like I could be my true self with him. I knew whatever I told him he wouldn’t judge me and the same goes for myself with him.

————-

I woke up to my head thumping against my skull and I was sweating, my curls stuck to my head and neck. I heard a light snoring and saw Jamie curled up on the opposite side of the sofa, I checked my phone and it said 2.35am. Damn, I couldn’t send Jamie home at this hour and I also couldn’t leave him curled up in a ball on my sofa. I stood up and bent down to his level, slowly shaking his arm to wake him.

‘Jamie.’ I whispered, he didn’t wake at first but the more I shook him he made a loud groan and mumbled “What time is it?” He tried to lift his head up but failed and threw it straight back to the couch.

“It’s nearly 3am, come on sit up..” I tried to get my hands under his shoulders to prompt him upwards. “I’ll just get my coat,” he yawned. He stood up in front of me and I took his hand.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” I began leading him to my bedroom and he stopped in his tracks giving me a confused look through sleepy eyes.

“To bed? Or to sleep?” He smirked at me.
I swatted his arm and grabbed his hand again. “To sleep!!” I exclaimed.

We got into my room and I switched on the light both of us squinting at the brightness. I was still fully clothed jumper and hoodie, so was Jamie, jeans and a sweater.
I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a T-shirt. I turned back to Jamie and he sat on the edge of my bed starring at me.

“Could you maybe turn around?” I smiled shyly. He realised what I meant and mumbled something in Gaelic and turned away.

We both climbed into bed, Jamie wearing his shirt and underpants. I tried my best to stay as far away from him as possible, it wasn’t him I didn’t trust, it was me. I turned with my back to him and I could hear him breathing heavy.

 

Just as I closed my eyes he spoke. “Claire?” He whispered. “Are ye awake?” He placed his hand on my shoulder and I turned back.

“I am now. What’s wrong?” I yawned.

“Could I maybe put my arm around ye?”
My heart jumped a little at the thought of the contact again. I didn’t answer I just moved to him, my back against his chest and his arm over my waist he pulled me into him and buried his face in the back of my head.

“G’night, sassenach.”

 

The next morning I woke up to the sound of fumbling and groaning “Gahhh, shit!”
I sat up to Jamie laying on the floor with his trousers around his ankles.
I burst out laughing.

“What on earth are you doing?” I questioned.

“I dinna wanna wake ye sassenach.” He sighed.

“What do you mean? Oh I see, you were going to leave without telling me? Well thank you.” I scoffed raising my brow and pushing myself up to lean against the headboard.

“No, no I was not. I just dinna ken if ye would want me tae still be here when ye woke.” He laughed nervously.

“Of course I do, Stay, the least I can offer you is breakfast.” I smiled down at him.

“I think ye have offered me more than just breakfast, Sassenach.” He smirked.
I threw the pillow from the other side of the bed at him. “That was cheeky!” I said pulling my robe around myself.

 

“Pancakes alright for you?” I questioned pouring Jamie a coffee, he sat at the breakfast stool opposite from where I was stood in the kitchen.

“Aye, if ye dinna mind.”

“No I don’t, you can help, grab me the milk from the fridge.”

“Milk? In pancakes?” His brows furrowed in confusion.

“Do you not know how to make pancakes? Seriously Jamie? Christ, it’s about time you learnt!” I scoffed.

I passed him the eggs, flour and milk I told him the exact amount of each he would need to make the pancake batter.

“Be careful! You don’t want egg shell in your pancakes do you?” I scolded him. “No I dinna.” He responsed to my comment with with a wicked sarcastic look on his face.

“Right, now we flip.” I said shaking the pan with the pancake in and I demonstrated by doing a small flick and the pancake tossed up in the air for about 3 seconds and landed back in the pan on to the uncooked side.

“Aye, I can do that no?” He sounded overly confident and he had more of it than I did.

Jamie took a hold of the pan, his hands swallowing the handle. He tried to do the light flick that I had just done but he was too heavy handed and the pancake went flying and landed on the kitchen surface. We both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

This felt good, being in someone’s presence whom I enjoyed, laughing with someone, genuinely enjoying the time being spent with someone. I hadn’t realised how much I had missed doing little things like this. Myself and Frank never made breakfast together he would always want to go to the cafe for our breakfast. He never wanted to stay home with me, whereas Jamie was the opposite I think he got as much enjoyment out of it as I did.

 

After I cleared up breakfast and finished the last of my coffee, I looked at my watch 10:30am. I really needed to go to the shops and get some food in, I had just used the last of the eggs and milk for the pancakes.

“What’re you doing for the day then, Claire?” Jamie questioned clearing his throat as he said it, I wonder if he was hinting to something? Did he want to do something together? No of course he doesn’t Claire, he’s had enough of you in the last 24hrs.

“Oh, not much just gonna take a shower and go food shopping...come home, drink more wine and probably cry to a soppy love film.” I laughed.

“Ahh. I see.” Jamie was tapping his hands against his thigh again, I had noticed he did this when he was nervous.

“Claire...say no, If ye dinna want to, but would you maybe wanna grab a bite later?” He was still rubbing his legs.

“Like a date?” I quizzed, slightly smirking.

“Well..aye, or not....whatever you want.” He nodded.

“Well, I think it takes both of us to agree on whether it’s a date or two friends grabbing dinner?” I chuckled, now I was the nervous one I could feel my palms sweat.

“A date, I’d like to take ye out this evening on a date.” He came right out with it, and I was glad he’d opted for ‘date’ instead of ‘friends grabbing dinner.’

“Yes Jamie, I’d like that.” I smiled reassuring him it’s what I wanted, too.

 

“6pm? I could come over to pick ye up...although ye’ll have to drive.” He laughed rubbing his hand on his forehead.

 

“Meet me here at 6, we’ll get a cab?” I smiled.

“Aye. Well, I best be off then I need to sort a few things out. I’ll see you later, Sassenach.”

Jamie headed towards my front door, he wrapped his coat around himself and turned to face me.
My heart was beating I didn’t know what to do I felt like a teenager.

How do we leave it? Hand shake? Hug? Kiss?my heartbeat increasing by the second.

“Yeah, see you tonight then.” I smiled holding the door open for him. He walked past me and turned to be on his way. I was slightly disappointed that he didn’t kiss me but never mind, I thought. We have plenty of time, we barely even know one another and yet I felt like I needed him somehow.

I stood with the door still open and Jamie got to the bottom of my steps, he suddenly stopped at the bottom step and turned around to look at me, climbing back up them coming towards me. What had he forgotten? Maybe his phone.

He came to me at the door and suddenly grabbed my face with his large hands and pressed his lips against mine, I let out a huge sigh of relief he could probably hear it; I allowed him to kiss me strong and passionately against my front door, I bet my neighbours could see me stood in my robe kissing someone that wasn’t my husband.
After a couple of minutes of intense kissing he pulled away and smiled at me.

“See ye tonight.” And with that he turned and left.

My heart still racing from the kiss.
I couldn’t get my head around what I was feeling. I didn’t know what I was feeling but all I know is it felt right whatever it was, and I wanted it. I wanted him.

Chapter Text

I pulled out 3 dresses from my closet and held them up to myself while I looked in my full length mirror.

“I think ye should dress casual but sexy.” Gellie said, I was on FaceTime to her for outfit advice for my date with Jamie.

“No dress then?” I sighed throwing the dresses onto the bed and placing my hands on my hips.

“Nae, how about Jeans, Cami top and maybe a blazer? And boots?” Gellie responded.

I walked over to my closet and pulled out my favourite pair of jeans and my loose flowing black cami top.
I chose a navy blazer to go with.

“How’s that?” I said flattening out my blazer.

“Aye, ye look lush Claire.”

I pulled my hair up into a loose bun and let some of the loose curls shape around my face. “Hair up?” I questioned, fixing it and curling my baby hairs around my fingers.

“Aye, Jamie can take it down for ye, later.” Gellie began chuckling to herself and I rolled my eyes at her prude comment.

“I gotta run, enjoy ye self aye? Love ye!”

“Love you!!!” I ended the phone call.

I brushed the mascara across my lashes, back and forth. I then applied a red lip, well it is Christmas after all.
I checked my watch and it was 5.55. Jamie would be here any minute, my tummy doing summersalts and my heart racing.
Come on, Randall get yourself together. It’s not like you’ve never been out with a man before!! Although, I couldn’t even remember the last time Frank had taken me out.

A knock on the door snapped me back from my thoughts of Frank.
I opened the door and Jamie stood, smiling with a bunch of roses in his hand. My heart melted at the sight. I stepped aside for him to enter.
He was wearing jeans, a turtle neck jumper and his copper hair was unruly. Just beautiful.

“These are for ye, Sassenach.” He handed me the red roses and I thanked him and took them to the kitchen to fetch a vase.
Jamie followed behind me, hands tucked into his jeans pocket.

“Ye look beautiful, Claire.” He said through shy eyes. I smiled at him and walked towards him.

“So do you, Jamie.” We were inches apart and I could feel myself desperately wanting to kiss him.

He lent down and slowly moved to my lips, it was soft for the moment just a little peck really, that soon changed when I parted my lips granting him entrance to kiss me correctly, he did. His breath was minty and fresh, he traced his tongue along my bottom lip and I allowed him in, I kissed him back just as passionate, our tongues caressing. I stumbled backwards against the kitchen side.

Jamie was pressed up against me kissing me hard.
We slowly pulled away for breath and I began chuckling at him, he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“You have red lipstick smeared all over your mouth and chin.” I giggled, licking my thumb and tracing it along his chin and lips to remove the red stains, heat rising between us once again as traced my thumb across his bottom lip.

There was so much sexual tension between us, I had never felt a sexual attraction so strong. I mean, I was sexually attracted to Frank but not at first it took me a while to think of him in that way, but with Jamie, Its totally different he lights a fire inside me that I didn’t know I possessed. I wanted him, in every way, more than I knew I could ever want something.

“Shall we go, sassenach?” Jamie broke the silence and I pulled my hand from his mouth and cleared my throat. “Right, yes...where are we going?” I questioned waking past Jamie and getting my purse and keys.

“Ye’ll see,” and with that we were out the door.

———

We pulled up in the city centre of Glasgow, Jamie payed the cab driver and we climbed out, He held his hand out to assist me out of the car, I smiled and placed my hand in his.

We approached the strip of shops, Christmas lights blooming. The giant Christmas tree in the middle of the pavement and many, many Christmas stalls. It took my breath away seeing the city lit up, it was just beautiful.

“The Christmas market?” I asked smiling up at Jamie.

“Aye, thought we could do with some Christmas spirit.” He chuckled and pulled me towards the hot chocolate stall.

“Do ye want marshmallows and cream?” Jamie asked as we looked at the menu board, there was so many different flavours of hot chocolate.

“Please, I’ll just have a regular.”

Jamie got our drinks and we strolled through the street admiring the decorations and lights. Bearing in mind our hands still joined.

“I’ve never been to the Christmas markets in Scotland before.” I took a sip from my drink and made a little ‘mmhmm’ noise, Jamie looked at me laughing. “What?” I said with my face scrunched.

“Ye have a cream moustache, Sassenach.” He pulled his hand from mine and wiped the cream from my upper lip, then he brought his thumb to his own mouth and sucked the cream from his thumb. I giggled and rolled my eyes at him.

We continued walking and chatting about home. I told him I had never found my place back in Oxfordshire, I never really felt at home even though I had spent my entire life there, I was happy to move to Scotland when the opportunity arose. We found a bench in the street opposite the stalls and sat down to finish our hot chocolates. Jamie spoke of himself as a child or a ‘bairn’ as he called them. He told me he was basically the perfect child, he never got into trouble at school and always behaved well for his parents, his brother and sister didn’t get on at all. Jenny and Willie would always fight and play tricks on eachother, Jamie explained he just stayed out of the way when they were behaving that way.

It was freezing and the weather forecast said it was due to snow over Christmas.

Jamie and I sat down at a bench in the middle of the market strip, taking in all the beautiful Christmas smells, nutmeg and cinnamon filled the air. It was so peaceful, I felt completely at peace here with Jamie.

“This is amazing.” I took a deep breath taking it all in.

“Ah, aye it is.” Jamie placed his hand on my knee and electricity shot through my veins.

“I’ll have to find a toilet, Sassenach. Wait there.” Jamie stood to his feet and leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“I’ll come with you.” I said standing up in front of him.
“No, no don’t worry. I’ll only be a minute.”
He smiled and off he went.

Once Jamie had returned from the toilet he took his hand in mine and started walking me further through the town.

“Where are we going?” I quizzed.
“just wanna show ye something,” he smiled, not giving anything away.

We walked up to a huge ice rink, there was a little stall next to it and a bench presumably where you pay and receive your skates.

“Ice skating?” I arched my brow at jamie, his face lit up and a smile creased the side of his mouth.

“Aye, it’ll be fun.” He grabbed my hand and took me to the stall to pay and get our skates, I was really skeptical about going on the ice. I hadn’t skated since I was about 9 years old.

Me and Jamie stepped on the ice, I gripped onto his arm for dear life. He was giggling at how nervous I was. We started of slow, staking small strokes across the ice.

I felt a bit more confident the more we glided, I moved my hand from Jamie’s arm to his hand, wobbling slightly Jamie wrapped his hands around my waist.

“I got ye, Sassenach.” He laughed.
I don’t remember the last time I smiled so much.
We carried on gliding along the ice, laughing and Jamie teasing me about being a terrible skater.
I tumbled back and he grabbed onto me, to catch my fall.

His face was now inches away from mine, I was smiling up at him, his breath tickled my check. I straightened up but still didn’t move my face away from Jamie’s, his eyes glanced over my lips and then back to my eyes like he was asking permission,
I answered for him by pressing my lips against his, small brush strokes and slowly parted lips. He kissed me lightly and gentle, subconsciously we both knew we where in public. Pulling away slowly Jamie intertwined his fingers with mine.

“Are ye hungry?” He smiled, I nodded my head and we made a move to leave the ice rink.

“Where to?” He asked, pulling me into him.

“I don’t mind, did you have anything specific in mind?” We started on walking back up the strip past the stalls.

“I’ll do what ever ye want,”

“Pizza and wine? Back at mine? Because I don’t know about you but I’m freezing and would kill to wrap myself in a blanket.” I laughed.

“Perfect..” He grinned.

We got back to my house and I immediately turned on the fire, rubbing my hands together to warm up.

“Will you phone and order pizza?”
I asked taking my scarf from around my neck and hanging it up on the cloak.

“Aye, what do you want?” He smiled.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having. I’m just gonna have a quick soak if you don’t mind while we wait?”

Jamie flashed me a smile and nodded.

Chapter Text

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 


* Jamie’s POV *

 

“I’m gonna have a soak, if you don’t mind.” Claire said smiling up at me, her beautiful amber eyes pierced my own. She was so incredible, I couldn’t believe how stunning she was inside and out. I had never felt so strongly towards someone before. I felt like I was loosing my own soul, I was giving it to her and I didn’t mind that at all.

 

Claire went off into the bathroom and I poured two glasses of wine for us.

 

“Do ye want yer wine now or after ye bath?”

 

I shouted from the kitchen.

no response, I walked through the living room and towards the bathroom to shout her through the door. As I approached the bathroom I noticed the door was open a tiny bit, I saw her stood there with her back to me, removing her jeans which revealed a red laced thong. My heart was thumping against my chest. I tried so hard not to look at her, I told myself it was wrong and I shouldn’t of been looking at her without her knowing but I couldn’t pry my eyes from her stunning figure. She pulled her top over her head and her matching bra was revealed. I sucked in a deep breath and thought I needed to speak before she was completely naked.

I knocked lightly on the door.

 

“Yeah?” She shouted from the other side.

 

“I dinna want tae disturb ye, just wondered if ye wanted yer wine?” I quizzed squeezing my eyes shut and rubbing my temple sighing at my own stupidity.

 

“Oh yeah, one minute.” She replied.

Next her head popped around the door, the curls unruly around her face. She was the most picturesque woman I had ever seen.

 

“Thank you.” She laughed and took the wine from my hand. She closed the door fully this time much to my dissatisfaction.

 

I walked back through to the lounge, pacing up and down. I couldn’t think of anything other than her being in the water, naked the bubbles caressing her skin.

It made me jealous of the rain itself.

Christ, I needed to stop. She wouldn’t appreciate me thinking of her like this, if she only knew the affect she had on my body and soul.

 

I sat down tapping my fingers against my thigh. Fucking hell Claire, just get out and put some clothes on so I could stop thinking of how badly I wanted to go in there and take her right there in the bath. Within my thoughts there was a knock at the door, pizza. Thank god.

 

I got up and answered the door, I payed the pizza guy and placed the box on the kitchen side.

 

“Claire, pizza!” I shouted through the door again.

 

“Coming!” She responded.

 

I went to walk back when I heard the door unlock.

 

“Jamie, Could you get me a towel please? I completely forgot to grab one, there in the cupboard by my room.” She smiled up at me through wet lashes. I nodded.

 

“Here yer are.” I handed her the towel and she thanked me, she quickly wrapped it around her tiny frame and I was stood with my back to the door, then she opened the door fully. I turned around and saw her stood in front of me in nothing but a towel to cover her, her beautiful brown curls grazing her shoulder.

 

I couldn’t do anything but stare at her.

 

“Jamie?” She said holding one arm across her breasts and the other waving in my face.

 

“Christ...Claire” I whispered.

She looked at me with lust in her eyes I could see it all over her face, she was feeling exactly how I was. I could see her chest rising as she starred back at me.

 

“What are ye doing to me?” I took in a sharp breath.

 

“I don’t know what you mean,” she scoffed and leant against the door frame.

 

“You ken fine well what yer doin’ Sassenach...standing there wi’ yer hair loose, nipples the size of cherries starring me in the eye. What must they look like?” I rubbed my hand across the stubble on my chin.

She took small steps towards me. “Well, why don’t you find out then?” She breathed into my ear. Christ, she was so hot.

 

I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into me, our chests slammed against eachother and we both took a deep breath in, the sexual tension building faster by the second.

 

She looked up at me with those beautiful eyes, full of lust. I bent my head down to kiss her and she ducked her head back.

 

“Hmmm, that pizza smells incredible.” She was teasing me and she knew exactly what she was doing. I tried again, she avoided my mouth and my lips smacked against her cheek instead.

 

“Shall we eat?” She said in a sarcastic but sweet tone, pulling herself away from me and walking past me holding tight to the towel wrapped around her body, I grabbed her wrist and she starred back at me.

 

“Aye, we should.” I said pulling her by the arm and facing her side on, eyeing her mouth.

 

I thought she was going to walk away from me but instead she threw her body against mine, thrashing her lips on top of mine her mouth open giving me all access. I could taste the wine on her tongue, the next thing I knew her legs were wrapped around my waist and arms around my neck. I pressed her against the wall, my arousal growing solid in my jeans, begging to be set free.

 

She let out little moans into my mouth and I began trailing kisses down her jawline, neck and top of her breasts.  She pulled my head up sharply and looked deep into my eyes,

 

“Jamie, I want you” she said through breath.

My heart was doing summersalts in my chest as the words came from her precious lips.

With no hesitation I pulled her from the wall and carried her into her bedroom. She tugged at the bottom of my sweater and began pulling it over my head. Now shirtless she stood taking me in for a second before returning her mouth back mine.

 

I lay her down on the bed and traced the hem of the towel that was barely covering her. “Now then, Sassenach...let’s see what we have under here,” I smirked as I started pulling the towel away from her body.

 

I chucked the towel to the other side of the room and my gaze never left her perfect body.

My eyes grazed over every inch of her snow like skin.

 

I placed my mouth on her breast, kissing slowly and suckling lightly on her nipple. She made little squeaking noises which filled me with nothing but lust. My finger tips trailed from her knees to her inner thighs small light strokes, her body quivering from my touch.

 

“Oh, Jamie!” She moaned slightly arching her back as I trailed my finger against her walls.

 

“Christ, sassenach you’re soaking for me.” I smiled placing more kisses upon her breasts and in between them. I began working her clit, slow and steady. Flicking my thumb over the sensitive spots making Claire’s body lift up in pleasure.

 

“Ye dinna ken how long I’ve wanted ye, Claire.” I began placing kisses down her stomach still working with her clit, slowly grazing my teeth over her hips until I found my mouth above her pubic bone.

 

“Aye, let’s see how you taste then mo neghean donn,”

 

My mouth slowly kissing her entrance and Claire squealed in pure electricity, my tongue began working away at her clit, I slid a finger in and continued suckling and licking her soft spots, slowly pumping my finger in and out. She wrapped her legs around my head squeezing tight.

 

“Jamie...I’m....going...to” She moaned loudly and I stopped immediately, Claire began whimpering with the loss of pleasure. I pulled down my jeans and began pulling down my boxers, Claire sat up and met my eye I bent down over her, teasing my tip against her entrance.

 

“Oh, no you don’t!” She chuckled and pushed me back to my feet, crawling towards me she made her way to the end of the bed and when she reached me. She slowly eyed up my cock, biting down on her lip she brought her hand up and began stroking me slowly, she sent shivers down my spine.

 

She bent her head down and placed a kiss at the top, then slowly opened her mouth to take my length in grabbing the start of my shaft, she pumped with her hand while licking and suckling at the tip. My head threw back in pleasure and I sucked in a sharp breath.

 

“Fuck, Claire!” I moaned as she took me in her mouth, I ran my hands through her curls as she suckled on me. I felt like my soul was being lifted out of my chest.

I couldn’t take much more.

 

“Claire, stop...please” I begged and she did, sitting up and facing me licking her lips. God she was so fucking sexy, I pushed her back down and lined myself up to her entrance and breathed heavy against her face.

 

“Are ye ready for me to have ye now, Sassenach?”

 

“Yes, have me...have all of me” she moaned and with that I thrusted myself into her, both of us nearly screaming, I began rocking against her and she followed my movements. Back and forth our hips rolled in sync, it was so beautiful to see Claire loosing herself she was absolutely stunning.

 

I began pumping harder knowing I couldn’t last much longer, I moved one hand down to her clit and began rubbing as I thrusted into her, she was nearly whimpering with pleasure and what a joy it was to see.

 

“Gah, Claire....I’m going to..” I screamed and filled myself inside her, Claire arched her back and also let out a scream as we both came to our orgasm, I lent over and collapsed onto her tiny body my head in the crook of her neck.

 

“Tha mi ‘n dùil sgàin mo chridhe.” I whispered into her throat.

 

“What did you say?” Claire said through tugged breathing.

 

“I said, I thought my heart was going to burst.” I smiled caressing her cheek with my hand.

 

“Me too...” she kissed the top of my nose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We lay in bed for a while just taking in eachother and the experience we had just shared.

I began tracing my finger tips across her breast and pinching at her nipple as it hardened at my touch.

 

 

“Yer breasts are like ivory,” I bent down placing a kiss on them.

I moved my hands down her back and to her beautifully round arse.

 

“God, to touch ye sassenach,” I confessed pulling her body into me and she snuggled against my chest.

 

“Do you want food?” Claire whispered tracing her fingers across my collar bones.

 

“No’ yet, my ghràidh...let’s just lay here a while, together.” I kissed the top of her head.

 

“Together...” she mumbled into my chest.

Chapter Text

*Christmas*



 

 

It was December the 24th, the snow had begun to fall and it was the coldest Christmas I had experienced yet.

Jamie and I had a 12 hour shift at the hospital and we both had Christmas Day off together, we decided that we would have a quiet Christmas Day at my place together.
Jamie and I hadn’t officially said we where in a relationship yet, it had only been a month since we met, I didn’t want to rush it but at the same time it was already going 100mph!!

I didn’t mind it though, because it felt right. I had never felt content within my relationship with Frank. It felt completely different to how I felt for Jamie. He lit me up, made me feel beautiful and like a real woman...like he wanted to posses all of me and I loved it.

 

We always went in to work separately to not draw any attention to ourselves and try to keep things as professional as we could. I couldn’t risk my job and what Jamie and I were doing was definitely in breach of my contract.

My job was all I had in my life that never changed, everything else around me seemed to always be changing but my job was always the same and it comforted me.

“Merry Christmas ye sexy thing!!” Gellie shouted wrapping her arms around me tight in a hug. I laughed and hugged her back.

“Ah, how is that dashing wee Scott of yers?” She winked.

“G!! Keep your voice down!” I put my hand over her mouth so that none of the nurses nearby heard.

“Well, I want to know every detail!” She squealed like a child.
I pulled her into the little office at the side of the nurses station.

“Alright but it can’t go any further!” I smirked.

“Ye’ve fucked him haven’t ye?” She was gripping onto my shoulders so tight.

“Yes, but don’t say it like that it makes me sound like I sleep with anyone!” I furrowed my brows.

“Aye, sorry...so d’ye like him then? Like, really like him?” She had a smile brighter than the sun.

“Yes, I do. I really do..he makes me feel warm inside and he cares about me and wants to be there for me..” I trailed off beginning to day dream about him.

“Yer in love!” She cried.

“No, I am not! I could be, but not yet..it’s still so new and we are just enjoying eachother really.” I nodded.

“So what’s he like in the sack then?” She winked.

“Gellie!!! You are terrible! But, pretty amazing..” I giggled.

“Better than Frank?” She quizzed.

“Oh for sure, franks never made me...you know,” I started to blush.

“Oh shit! He made you orgasm first time?” She was honestly like a little child that had been told they could have candy for breakfast.

“Yes...I know, I was just as shocked as you!”

“How many times?” She enquired.

“Gellie!!”

“Well!!!!!” She pushed.

“5 times.” I admitted.

“In one night?! Claire Randall ye dirty dog.”

“Beauchamp if you will! And yes in one night and morning.” I smiled the memories of Jamie taking me in his arms filled my head.

Gellies face was a picture.

“Come on, less sex talk more work!” I scolded and walked back out of the office.

Jamie was stood leaning against the nurses station talking to one of the nurse practitioners, Annabelle. He was smiling and laughing with her. Jealousy crept upon me and I tired my hardest to brush it off as I walked up to the station and stood next to Jamie.

“Good morning Mr Fraser, Annabelle will you be helping Jamie with his training today?” I quizzed clearing my throat not making any eye contact with Jamie whatsoever.

“Ah, yes I think so, unless you want to?” She brushed her beautiful blonde hair out of her face and god she was stunning I wanted to punch her.

“No, he’s all yours...” I mumbled and walked away, Jamie grabbed my arm and I turned back to look at him. My heart racing.

“Can I have a word, Nurse Randall? About my portfolio?” He smiled.

“Yes of course, and please it’s Beauchamp, now.” I fake smiled at him and lead him to the small office I was just in with Gellie.

“Claire?” He whispered closing the door behind him.

“This isn’t about your work is it? I have lots of patients to see Jamie so just get on with it will you?” I stood with my arms folded across my chest.

“What’s the matter?” Sadness filled his eyes.

“Nothing, I just have lots of stuff to do...I’m busy!” I sighed.

“Sassenach, I can tell when ye not right...”

“Oh can you? Because you know me so well.” I snapped. Wow, I was being slightly unnecessary but I couldn’t help it.

“Why no, I dinna...but I ken ye well enough to ken when ye no happy,” he stepped towards me, I stepped back.

“I havena see ye in a few days, I missed ye.” He moved closer to me but I couldn’t move back as I was now stood against the office desk.

“Have you?” I mumbled picking the skin around my nails.

“Claire, look at me.” He demanded. My head snapped up to meet his eye. He licked his lips and bent his head, lips inches from mine. I breathed in a deep breath and kissed him. Slowly but passionately, our tongues glided over one another.
I pulled back and looked up at him.

“Are we still on for tonight?” He whispered. My brows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’m coming over aren’t I? Well ye’ll no wanna Christmas alone?” He laughed.

“Who said anything about being alone? And besides I thought you were just coming tomorrow.”

“Well, aye...maybe not. But I thought it would be nice to spend tonight together too.” He sighed, I think he could feel my vibe.

“Yeah if you want.” I smiled up at him.

“Of course I do, don’t ye? Claire, please tell me what’s wrong?” He stroked my arm.

“Nothing honestly Jamie, it’s fine. I will meet you outside after work.” I smiled and walked away before he could stop me.

 

-

 

After the shift was over I collected my stuff from my locker, said good night to the nurses and wished them a happy Christmas.
I made my way to the parking lot to my car. Jamie was stood leaning against it with a smirk on his face.

“What’re you smirking at?” I asked unlocking the doors. “It’s Christmas!” He laughed waving his arms in the air.
I rolled my eyes “Get in.”

The car ride started off quiet and slightly awkward, I could feel the tension in my chest building. Jamie soon broke the silence.

“Good day, Sassenach?” He smiled.

“Pleasant enough. And you?” I responded with my eyes solid on the road.

“Aye, learnt some new bits...Annabelle showed me the X-ray department. She is very fluent with her knowledge I dinna ken what she was talking about most of the time..” he chuckled and I stayed silent.

“She thought me quite funny actually because I spent most of the day just starring at her, I dinna ken what she we goin’ on bout..”

The tightness in my chest grew and the jealousy was rife through my veins. I cleared my throat and gripped onto the steering wheel tight squeezing as if it was Annabelle’s head.

“I had lunch with her she was verra kind to me today, really willing to help me...” he smiled and I couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Ah! I bet she was.” I scoffed.

“What do ye ken by that, then?” He quizzed.

“Oh Jamie, don’t play me for a fool.” I said pulling up to my drive and taking off the hand break and ignition. Jamie starred blankly at me. I climbed out of the car slamming the door and almost running up the steps to my front door. I let us both in and chucked my keys on the side along with my coat, bag and shoes.

“Claire what’s gotten into ye??” Jamie followed me as I stormed into my bedroom, aggressively opening my dresser to retrieve some nightwear.

“Nothing at all.” I mumbled folding my pjs on top of my pillow.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get undressed ready for my shower.”

“Claire I’ve seen all of ye.” He sighed.

“Yes well, don’t want to disappoint now you’ve met Annabelle.” I scoffed, I knew I was being childish and insecure but I just couldn’t help it, after everything Frank put me through with his blonde harlot I couldn’t ever think of it not happening again.

“Are ye serious? So that’s what this is about, aye? Yer jealous.” He chuckled.

“I am not jealous, I just wish I hadn’t of let you bed me.” Ouuch, that gotta hurt.

“You regret our time together Claire?” Jamie’s face dropped.

“Well I didn’t until I saw the way you where with Annabelle today.” I mumbled sitting on the edge of my bed, Jamie knelt down in front of me.

“Claire, what ye thought ye seen, isna what yer thinkin’” Jamie sighed.

“So you are telling me you weren’t attracted to her? Christ Jamie, do you think I’m blind? I can see her, and all her beauty.” I confessed.

“Aye, I canna say I dinna think she wasna Bonny, she is.” Ouch! Thanks Jamie.

“But, she is not you Claire. You are more than her in every way, you are the only woman I ever want to look at, and ever will look at.” He whispered taking my hands in his own. This thumb caressed the back of my hand. I sighed and breathed in. Not even responding to Jamie I stood up and scratched the back of my neck.

“I’m gonna go for my shower now.” I mumbled taking my towel off of the radiator sure not to forget this time. Jamie stood still.

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, tears prickled my eyes as I stood in the mirror, Christ I was pathetic.
I turned on the shower and let it warm up as I began undressing myself. I climbed in and let the water hit me, I closed my eyes as the water rolled down my body. The heat of the water warming my insides.
I picked up the soap and began washing myself and humming ‘we wish you a merry Christmas’ under my breath.

I then felt the shower curtain twitch and pull back slightly and then Jamie completely naked stepped in, standing in front of me in all his glory his beautiful muscles on full show he was practically perfect.

“Jamie, what’re..” he cut me off with a ‘shh’

“Let me do the talking, aye?” He stepped towards me and backed me into the corner of the shower, towering over me those piercing blue eyes starring me down.

“I dinna ken what to tell ye to make you believe you are all I want, but I can try. You are the most singular woman Claire, you make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

His mouth was nearly on top of mine, my chest was rising so fast with the increase of my heart rate. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me into his giant chest.
“You make me feel alive, you only have to look at me and I want ye, Christ sassenach, I want ye so bad I can scarcely breath.” He confessed grazing his mouth on my ear lobe I let out a small weep.

“So, Claire...will ye have me?” He said quietly in my ear and I lifted his head and thrashed my mouth to his.

“Yes...yes I’ll have you.” I confessed and he kissed me like he had never done before, lust and passion exploded in our mouths. biting and sucking on eachothers lips. He wrapped my legs around his waist and supported me by holding tight onto my arse.
He pushed us right in the water and held me up by the wall.

“I’m gonna take ye now, Sassenach” he moaned into my mouth but I couldn’t speak I just nodded and with that he pressed himself inside of me, both of us letting out a squeal. He thrusted harder and harder. My toes were curled and my head thrown back against the wall as he pumped into me. “Yer mine, mo neghean donn, mine! Now, and forever.” His hips rolling against my own I had never felt pleasure like it.

He sped up slightly as we both reached our finish. Breathing heavy, he kissed me lightly and soft. “I meant it. Yer mine”
“And your mine, Jamie.” I smiled kissing him again.

 

-

 

After our shared shower I climbed into my pjs and Jamie into his joggers and a loose shirt, he looked so beautiful just in lounge clothes.
We sat down on the sofa and put ‘Elf’ on it was by far my favourite Christmas film.

“Fancy a dram?” Jamie smiled.

“Yes that would be nice.” I responded grabbing my phone to text Gellie back to let her know all was well and I had gotten over my jealous spell.

Jamie returned with our drinks in hand.
He had a nervous look on my his face as he sat down beside me.

“Are you alright jamie?” I quizzed.

“Aye, just wanted to give ye this..” he pulled a small white box from behind his back tied with a beautiful pink silk ribbon.

“Jamie...what’s this?”

“Open it and find out.” He smirked.

I pulled open the ribbon and opened the tiny box, inside was a the most beautiful silver necklace with a huge Opal jewel dangling at the bottom. I swiped my fingers across the stone in complete awe.

“Well, d’ye like it?” He laughed nervously.

“Jamie...it’s beautiful, how did you know this was my birth stone?” I quizzed. “I did a bit of digging..”

I pulled the delicate necklace from its box and undid the clasp.

“Will you put it on for me?” Jamie took the necklace from my hand and I turned around for him, he clipped it together and brushed my hair aside planting a tiny kiss on the back of my neck sending shivers down my spine, the necklace sat just above my cleavage.

“I love it, thank you.”

“Yer welcome, Sassenach. Happy Christmas.” He smiled as I turned back to face him.

 

“Happy Christmas, Jamie.” I planted a kiss on his lips and he took my hand and stood up, leading me to my bedroom. Time for round two.

Chapter Text

      

 

                      NYE:

 

 

I woke up to the sound of Jamie snoring down my ear, I couldn’t even be mad about it because he was just so adorable while he slept, the corner of his mouth would turn upwards into a small smile like he was dreaming of puppies and kittens.

 

I rolled over and checked my phone for the time. 8.30am. Uhhhh, it was so early.

I scooted myself closer to Jamie and wrapped my tiny arm around his gigantic frame. Facing him I took in all his features, the way his eyelids slightly twitched as he dreamt, his lips thick and pink. His jawline was so sharp and prominent and the small stubble on his chin. I lightly grazed my finger across it.

 

 

“Are ye gonna stare at me like that all morning, Sassenach?” Jamie giggled without opening his eyes. I laughed and swatted his arm.

 

“I didn’t know you were awake.” I laughed returning my hand to his chin.

 

“Well I wasna until I felt yer eyes burning a hole in my face.” He mocked me.

 

“I was just admiring you while you were quiet.” I scoffed rolling onto my back and shuffling over the side of the bed slightly away from Jamie.

 

“Ohhhh, where are you going.” He pouted like a small child.

 

“I have to get up it’s New Year’s Eve. I have cleaning to do and groceries to buy.” I sighed.

 

“Jesus, Claire it’s like 7am, just lay here with me a while, eh?” He lightly wrapped his enormous hand around my wrist tugging at me.

 

“It’s not 7am! It’s now 8.45am! I have so much to do!”

 

Jamie pulled himself up and released my arm but then snaking both his arms around my waist, there was no point in fighting with him because I knew full well that I wouldn’t be able to escape his strong grip.

 

“Jamie!! Come on,” I whined. “Sassenach!! Come on!!” He mimicked me.

 

He pulled my head towards his and leant his head against my own, he grabbed ahold of my hand and lowered it down underneath the sheets. He placed my small hand on his growing erection.

 

“Feel that? Ye canna leave me like this, mo neghean donn...” he whispered into my neck, my hand trembling and my heart rate sped up dramatically as I felt his shaft harden under my touch.

 

“N-no...I suppose I can’t.” I obliged, I knew full well that I would. I was completely under Jamie’s spell and happy to be there.

I began slowly working at his shaft, small strokes up and down. Jamie’s chest rising with every pump, I began to speed up the pace gently caressing his balls at the same time.

 

“Claire...I want ye now.” He growled in my ear, waves of pleasure rushed throughout my body and I could feel my own arousal getting more intense.

 

“Oh you can just wait..” I teased and slowed down my pace. Kissing his collar bone and down to his breast bone and his stomach slowly biting on my way down. “Accch!” He shouted.

 

“Do you want me to stop?” I quizzed releasing his skin from my teeth.

 

“No...” he smirked as I trailed my hand back down his thigh. Slowly getting closer with my mouth.

 

“P-please, Claire..” he moaned. I loved the affect I had upon him, I knew it was driving him crazy that he wasn’t inside me, probably as crazy as it was sending me. I placed a kiss on the top of his shaft and sat up on my knees, slowly unbuttoning my pyjama top. Jamie was watching as I was undressing myself, I slowly removed my knickers and Jamie sucked in a deep breath taking in my naked body.. I crawled over him and straddled either side of him, my entrance upon the tip of his shaft if I had sat down he would’ve entered me, I didn’t.  I carried on teasing and bent down to kiss his mouth, I licked his bottom lip begging for entrance and he quickly accepted and returned his tongue to my mouth. Jamie gripped onto my breasts and began caressing them as I kissed him, pinching my nipples between his finger and tumb i let out small moans in his mouth. Jamie’s hands moved from my boobs and found their way to my arse slowly pressing me down and He gradually entered me, both of us groaning. I began rocking back and forth on top of him, Jamie returned his hands to my breast as I rode him.

 

  “Oh my god, Claire you are the most incredible woman..” Jamie said between moans. I smirked as I brought up my pace. “I never want to leave this bed.” He grinned at me. “Then don’t.” I responded and began kissing him again.

 

it wasn’t long after we both hit our climax and I fell flat on my back trying to catch my breath.

 

-

 

 

 

*6pm*

 

 

 

 

“Jamie!!” I shouted from my bedroom pulling my black dress over my head.

 

“Aye?” He responded footsteps approaching my room.

 

“What’s wrong, Sassenach?” He walked into the room towards me, I had my back to him.

 

“What do you think of this dress?” I quizzed turning round to face him. It was a small black strapless dress, it sat at the top of my knees. Jamie stood looking at me like he didn’t even hear a word I had said.

 

“Earth to Jamie???” I waved my hand across his face.

“Christ Claire, your tits look amazing.” His eyes starring down my chest.

 

“Jamie! Seriously?!” I laughed.

 

“Quite. They look peachy and so beautiful poking out the top I’ll be tempted to jump ye all evening if ye sit there in that.”

 

“So I should change?” I sighed turning to my closet.

 

“No! Dinna do that, ye look beautiful...I’ll just look forward to taking it off ye tonight.” He came up behind me and placed kisses along my neck and turned me around and continued kissing my collar bone and the tops of my breasts.

 

“God in heaven they are the most perfect pair.” He groaned. I lightly slapped his head.

 

“Come on, lots to do!!!” I said pushing past him to avoid things getting any further that’s not what i had time for right now. “Everyone will be here in the next hour.”

 

 

I began setting up the table of buffet food, I set out wine glasses, shot glasses and gin glasses variety for all. I was really pleased with my arrangement.

 

 

 

 

Gellie and Dougal arrived not long after 7pm, I settled everyone down with a drink and poured myself a gin and tonic and joined my friends. I had Alexa playing party songs in the back ground. I felt so happy for the first time in so long, I was content I had my friends and my...well i don’t know, Jamie.

 

“How about a game of never have I ever, Aye?” Gellie suggested. I looked at Jamie and shrugged my shoulders, he laughed and nodded.

 

“Why not, Aye?” Jamie smirked.

 

“Go and be a darlin’ will ye Jamie and grab the whiskey and shot glasses?” Gellie winked at him.

 

Jamie poured 4 shot glasses and handed them out. “Ok! I’ll go!” Gellie said.

 

 

“Never have I ever gone skinny dipping.” She giggled and we all took a small sip of our whiskey chuckling along.

 

“Right my turn! Never have I ever peed in a swimming pool.” I looked around and it was only me and Gellie that took a sip from our drinks, we both pointed at eachother and threw our heads back in fits of laughter.

“Eeeek, ye dirty thing ye.” Dougal scolded Gellie and she shrugged her shoulders at him.

 

“Back to me now?” G piped up. “Gellie, we need to let the boys have a go.” I laughed.

 

“Nope we’re fine!!” They both joked.

 

“Never have I ever, had my first orgasm the first time I slept with someone new...” she was smirking at me and I felt like my cheeks had gone bright red and I threw her a death stare and Jamie looked at me. I cleared my throat in embarrassment and took a tiny little sip from my drink and everyone burst out laughing at me.

 

“Alright, shows over...” Jamie put his arm around me and caressed my forearm.

 

“Think that’s enough of party games for now..” Jamie laughed.

 

“Shall we have a dance? Sassenach, if ye will?” Jamie stood up and held onto my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Smashing idea laddie.” Gellie dragged Dougal to his feet and we turned up the music and began dancing to ‘sweet Caroline’ Jamie had his arms wrapped around my waist as we swayed side to side.

 

“Sweeeet caroline, good times never seemed so good....” we all sang at the top of our voices. Jamie placed a kiss on my mouth I think he intended on only giving me a peck but I felt complete in that moment my hands cupped his face and I kissed him properly I licked my tongue against his and he pulled me in tighter squeezing my hips.

the next thing I knew we were interrupted by my front door flying open nearly coming of its hinges. In came Frank stumbling, he could barely walk. I was still stood in jamies arms...I could see the anger boiling in his body. This couldn’t be good. Gellie turned off the music and I moved away from Jamie.

 

“Frank what the devil!” I shouted walking towards him.

 

“Claire, hello darling..” he stumbled towards me I could already smell the alcohol all over him. “You’re drunk!” I spat.

 

“Quite, yes.” He smiled.

 

“Frank just get out please, this is not the time..” He starred at me blankly.

 

“Ive come to take what’s mine.” He scoffed.

 

“And what would that be? I seem to recall myself giving you all your stuff back.”

 

“Precisely. Except, I’m missing two things, you and my house.” He was now stud in front of me swaying.

 

“I’m not yours. This is my house.”

 

“You are mine claire, you are my wife and I am your husband..” he put his hands on my cheek and I pulled away.

 

“Frank we are over, how many times do I have to tell you? We are going through the divorce proceedings for gods sake..” I sighed folding my arms across my chest. Franks gaze came away from mine and on to Jamie’s.

 

“And what do you think you’re doing in my house?” Frank said to Jamie.

 

“Jamie just ignore him.” I answered before Jamie could.

 

“I don’t appreciate you fucking my wife. She isn’t someone that you can just toss aside.” Frank stepped towards Jamie.

 

“Listen, I wouldna ever toss Claire aside. She means more to me than that. Unlike ye..” oh no Jamie....please no.

 

“Well have you fucked her yet? of course you have, she dropped her knickers easily enough for me..” Frank laughed. Tears prickled my eyes and Jamie walked towards Frank squaring up at him gritting his teeth. I walked over and placed my hand on Jamies chest giving him a ‘please don’t’ look. He slowly backed away from Frank.

 

“And you,” he then turned his attention to me.

 

“Are you really that stupid to think he wants you for anything more than sex? Darling, come on it’s not like he’s going to love you.” He had evil in his eyes.

 

“Jamie has shown me more love than you ever did in 2 years Frank...” I said through gritted teeth.

 

“Oh my darling you are mistaking love for lust. So what he fucked you senseless and now he’s going to be your prince. Come off it Claire.” I could feel the blood boiling through my veins as Frank spat awful things at me.

 

“Yes, yes he did Frank! Is that what you wanted to hear? He fucked me, A lot and Christ it was amazing..better than any time between you and I.” I spat.

 

“Ha! My darling all you have together is sex that is not a relationship!!” He stroked my head like I was a puppy. I moved back.

 

“What Jamie and I have is a hell of a lot more than fucking!! I love him, god I love him...more than I ever loved you.” I spat and Franks face fell to the floor. Everything then felt like it went into slow motion. “Bitch!” He screamed as his hand raised and slapped me across the cheek. Jamie ran at Frank within seconds and tackled him to the ground Jamie started punching him in the face.

 

“Jamie! No!” I shouted.

 

Oh my god, this was a nightmare. A huge nightmare and I needed to wake up.

Chapter Text

 

 

 

The world around me felt like it was crumbling, like I was stood in a room that was spinning and wouldn’t stop. I felt as if I was on a rollercoaster and would soon vomit if I didn’t get off. I couldn’t take in what was around me, everything was happening so fast I couldn’t do anything but stand in complete shock. I felt my stomach churning deep inside of me, tossing and turning. I was sure I was to vomit any moment now.

 

I felt Gellie arm wrap around my own and I snapped back to the reality of what was happening around me. Jamie and Frank sprawled out on the floor rolling around throwing punches at one another, I thought that my heart was going to come through my chest it was beating so hard.

 

I knew Frank was strong but he wasn’t a patch on Jamie and I could see the anger throughout the entirety of his body, I knew Jamie would crush Frank if he could, that’s what was worrying me,  that he would get so frustrated he wouldn’t be able to stop. I couldn’t do anything to stop them for fear of causing something more damaging. Next thing I knew Dougal came from the bathroom charging at the two of them and grabbed Jamie by the scruff of his neck to his feet.

 

“Stop this laddie,” Dougal scolded Jamie and threw him back releasing his hand from his clothing. Jamie’s chest was rising up and down so fast like he’d just ran a marathon or something. Blood poured from his nose and lip as he wiped it away on the back of his hand. He stood still, staring down at Frank like he could do it all over again. I did nothing, there was nothing I could do.

 

Frank lay on the floor catching a breath, his own chest rising up and down fast. He had a black eye and his eyebrow was split, blood trickled down the side of his face, down his temple and along to his jaw. He scrambled to his feet as quickly as possible and just stood silent for a moment, looking between myself and Jamie. He seemed a lot more sober now, maybe Jamie had knocked him back to sobriety.

 

I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t follow, the next thing I knew Jamie stormed past Frank knocking his shoulder against him and out the door slamming it behind him. Tears prickled my eyes and I felt the heat rise in my body as feelings of upset and stress over came me.

 

Dougal looked at Gellie and she nodded back at him as if to give him permission to go after Jamie. He did.

 

I cleared my throat and finally pulled up the courage to speak. “I’d like you to leave now.” I said my vision going blurry through the tears that were pooling in my eyes. Frank didn’t protest, he didn’t even say anything he took a few steps back and turned on his heal and left.

 

The second the door shut I howled, I let out the biggest cry I think I’ve ever done, the tears where uncontrollably coming down my face, my black mascara running down my cheeks. I fell to my knees, my head was spinning I wasn’t sure if it was the shots we hadn’t long had that was getting to my head or the stress and upset Frank had caused. Maybe a mixture of both.

 

Gellie knelt down beside me and put her arms around my shoulders and I fell into her lap sobbing, my hands covering my face as I cried. “Shh now” she cooed and stroked my head.

“Dinna fash, love. Dougal will get him.” She reassured me with a soft and sympathetic tone.

“Just hold me a while?” I mumbled through my sniffles and sobs.

“Aye.”

 

———————————————————

Jamies POV;

 

 

I slammed the door behind me, blood rushing through my veins. Even though I had beaten Frank to a pulp I still felt I must hurt someone, kill someone even. I had never felt anger like it before, these feelings were so foreign to me I didn’t know how to control them. I thought it best for Claire’s sake to leave before I beat Frank to death.

 

I ran down the front steps and out of her drive, turning down the next side street I paced up and down the same road 3 times over running my hands through my mangled curls. I let out a scream and shook my head. I needed to calm down and just breath, I lent up against a wall and began to slow my heavy breathing down.

 

“Jamie?! I heard from the end of the street, dougal.

 

Ifrinn!” I mumbled under my breath before walking over towards Dougal.

 

I approached my tall slightly Santa-looking uncle. “Aye?! Canna man get a wee bit of air?!” I scolded, not meaning to take my frustration out on him.

 

“Aye, he can. But a man doesna act the way ye did back there, ye Da will be turning in his grave, acting like a wee bairn!” He scolded me like I was a 15 year old child that had been caught drinking in a park.

 

The blood rushed through me once again at the mention of my Da.

“Dinnae speak o’ my father!” I cursed.

 

“Well, stop acting like a wee fool. Ye just walked out, left the poor lass in bits.” Dougal shook his head in disappointment.

 

“Is she alright?” I said with concern in my heart.

 

“She’s shaken, a wee bit upset. Probably confused at why ye just up and left.” Dougal huffed and walked over to the wall where I just was and perched himself there with folded arms.

 

“I dinna mean to make her cry, I just had to get out ye ken? I couldna control my anger I needed to breath.” I confessed and leant next to my uncle.

 

“Aye, I ken how ye look at her laddy, yer father looked at ye mam like that.”

 

A smiled crept onto my face at the mention of my mother and fathers immense love story, star crossed lovers and all. Met at 15, married at 17. My uncles and grand sir dinna approve of my Da, but eventually they loved him like one of their own. And my mother went from a Mackenzie to a Fraser.

 

“I dinna ken my feelings if I’m honest wi’ ye, uncle..” I sighed.

 

“Aye, I ken. Lad just listen to me, if ye feel it ye in heart and deep into yer core then it’s meant to be. Follow ye heart, dinna question it. I believe in love at first sight, I loved Gellie the moment I saw her. And I never stopped.” My uncle patted my shoulder in reassurance.

 

“I dinna ken ye such a romantic.” I chuckled nudging my uncle with my shoulder.

 

“Aye, the lassies love it. Ye’ll learn. but for now if Claire’s what ye want, dinna waste it.”

 

“She is. I have only known her a short amount of time but the way I feel for her consumes me, I havena ever felt nought like it before. I love her.” I confessed feeling the weight lift of my chest and float up into the air.

 

“Go and get yer lass.”

 

 

————————————————————

*back to Claire*

 

 

I cleared away all the empty glasses, loaded them up in the dishwasher. Tears still pouring from my eyeballs. I put all the empty bottles into the bin, along with most of the food that had only half been eaten. Gellie cleared away the broken glass off the floor, it was a picture of me as a little girl Jamie and Frank had broken it during their fight, Jamie had slammed Frank into the cabinet and my photo fell and smashed. So now I needed a new frame for that.

 

The door clicked open and Dougal entered with a sheepish looking Jamie behind him.  Dougal smiled at me and I returned one back.

 

“G, let’s call it a night baby.” Dougal sighed grabbing his and G’s coat and throwing them over his arm. Gellie nodded and walked over to me wrapping her arms around my neck, she whispered in my ear. ‘It’s going to be ok’ I nodded back tears spilling down my cheeks.

 

 

After Dougal and Gellie left, I pulled the bottle of scotch out of the cupboard and a small glass, pouring myself one and downing it all. Jamie stood at the other side of the kitchen looking like a school boy waiting to talk to the headmistress.

 

“Well?” I spat, pouring a second scotch.

 

“I’m sorry, Claire. Truly, I lost my heid...I couldna-“ he sighed.

 

“You couldn’t what? Control yourself, Jesus Jamie. I don’t need you to fight my battles, I’m a big girl. Thank you.” Gulping down my drink and wincing at the slight burn that hit my throat.

 

“No, I admit I was wrong I went too far wi’ Frank. But I Dinnae regret it Claire. He disrespected you and me. I wasna happy wi’ how he spoke to ye.”

 

 

“You do realise he could take legal action now?” I huffed, grabbing another glass and filling up my 3rd and Jamies 1st. I scooted it along the work surface and he caught it in his hand.

 

 

“Aye, I ken, but I will deal wi’ it, Mo Chridhe.” He spoke softly and slowly sipping his scotch, not like me who was throwing them back.

 

“Well where does that leave me then huh? You arrested and Frank turns the tables and makes it looks like I’m the bad one. I can’t do it Jamie. I can’t loose you, I won’t. I just won’t go through it all again..” I sobbed.

 

Jamie came rushing to my side and threw his arms around me. “Shhhh, a’ Leannain.”he stroked the back of my head and rocked me side to side as I cried into his chest.

 

“Dinna fash, I’m no’ going anywhere.” He planted small and soft kisses on the top of my head and squeezed me tight.

 

I stood there for what felt like an eternity, I was so content and I couldn’t face my next sentence, but I had to otherwise it would eat me inside out.

 

“Jamie...” I slightly pulled back from his chest and looked up to his face, his lip swollen and red. His thumb traced the lines of the tear stains on my face.

 

“What I said before to Frank....” I sniffed.

 

 

“Aye, I ken. Ye dinna mean it I understand.” He sighed in disappointment. How could he think that? How could he think I would ever say such a thing out of spite? I would never joke about loving him.

 

 

“No, I did mean it. I know that you probably don’t feel the same, and I understand that but I just can’t help that I feel this wa-“

 

Jamie cut me off. “I love you.” He whispered his finger under my chin, I starred deep into his ocean eyes, I could see every inch of him and right through to his soul. He was precious, in every single way. So precious.

 

 

“You do?” I smiled, almost chuckling like an excited child.

 

“Aye, I do.” He whispered lips brushing against mine, I could taste the dried blood on his lips but I didn’t care. I parted my lips and brought him in for a deep kiss, slowly but surely caressing his mouth careful not to hurt his wounded lip. Our mouths moved in sync with eachothers. My arms wrapped around his neck, his hand placed at the small of my back and moved to my hips where he lifted me until my legs where wrapped around his waist. He led me out of the kitchen and through to the bedroom.

Jamie softly lay me down and pulled away from the kiss, towering over me.

 

“God, I love ye.” He almost cried. As he crawled on top of me and our eyes met.

 

 

“And I love you,” I smiled cupping his face.

 

 

“Give me yer mouth, Sassenach.”

 

 

 

 

———————————————-

 

Chapter Text

As we continued to get lost in each other, Jamie was still on top of me, my legs wrapped around his back as he kissed me fiercely. I threw myself on top of him but accidentally rolled both of us onto the floor in a heap, I started giggling like a child and Jamie soon joined in. I slowly sat up and pushed Jamie to lay flat on his back, I began undoing his jeans and slowly pulling them down his thighs, he took a sharp breath with every move.

I leant down and pushed my hair aside. Lowering myself to his mouth. Kissing him slowly, his hands fumbling at my back to unzip my dress. I climbed out of it and was left in nothing but my strapless bra and panties.

Jamie sat up and threw his shirt off and flung it across the room. We continued kissing for some time and only pulled away for short breaths.

“Make those wee noises for me, Sassenach.” He mumbled into my throat as he bit and sucked at the raw flesh.

I started laughing and pulled back. “I do not make ‘wee’ noises.” I teased kissing his jaw.
“Aye, ye do.” He nodded.

I sat forward and unclasped my bra and let my breasts fall free, Jamie staring at them with lust. He pulled himself onto his elbows and placed kisses along my cleavage and slowly worked to each breast. I moaned in pleasure as his tongue flicked across my nipple.

I pulled off my panties, ready and waiting for Jamie to posses me. I straddled him once again and lowered myself onto his shaft, both of us groaning in pleasure as he entered me, deep into the pit of my stomach.

I rocked back and forth slowly, Jamie’s hands cupped my breasts as I rode. Next thing he flipped me over onto my back and linked his arm under my leg and lifted me higher as he thrusted into me. Waves of pleasure shot through me like ecstasy.

Jamies thumb reached my sensitive spot and he moved in circular motions and he pumped in and out of me. My legs trembling underneath me as he worked me, I could feel my walls throbbing as I was reaching my climax.

“Jamie!” I screamed as my back arched, toes curled. Jamie wasn’t far behind me and he quickly filled himself inside of me, grunting and collapsing on top of me.

 

~

 

I washed up and put my fresh pyjamas on and climbed into bed where Jamie was already lay waiting for me. I pulled back the covers to reveal a still very much naked Jamie.

“Are you going to put some clothes on?” I laughed as I lay down pulling the covers back over.

“No, and you shouldna either.” He laughed fiddling with the buttons of my night shirt. “Yer too covered up.” He pouted. I rolled my eyes and lay facing him.

“Thank you, Jamie.” I sighed rubbing his stubbly chin.

“What ever for?” His brows furrowed in confusion.

“Protecting me, loving me, seeing me for me, honouring me.” I trailed my finger down to his Adam apple it bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

He lifted himself onto his elbow and look down at me, moving the curls from my pale freckled face.

“Claire, ye dinna need t’ thank me. I love ye, I want to protect ye, always. I will never treat ye the way that bastard did, d’ye hear me?” He lifted my chin to meet his eyes and placed a warm soft kiss upon my lips.

“How could I not love a man who says such things.” I smiled biting down on my lip.

“Aye well, ye special to me, ye always will be.”

“Jamie, we need to discuss what we will do about work?”
I sighed pushing him lightly to his back so I could place my head on his chest.

“Aye, I ken.” He sighed tracing shapes across my shoulder with hand, his large arm around me.

“For now, we just need to be professional and keep it strictly friends while on shift, and if you leave with me and anyone asks I drop you home to save you the bus. Ok?” I sighed twirling my finger around the hairs on his chest.

“What ever makes ye feel comfortable, mo chridhe.” He kissed my forehead and held me tighter.

“What does it that mean?” I quizzed.

“It means,” Jamie picked up my hand and placed it in the centre of his chest. “My heart.” He whispered. I felt my entire body melt underneath him.

I lent up and kissed his mouth deeply and we spent the rest of the night making love.

 

 

I looked down at my watch, 12.30pm I would take my lunch at 1. I was really busy on the ward today, so many new admissions from over Christmas and New Year.

I brushed the loose hair off my face as I sat down to write my notes for the discharge of the patient in bed 8. All I could think of was the night before, Jamie’s mouth all over my body, his hands running through my mass of curly hair.

my heart began beating and the slight ache between my legs, throbbed at my indecent thoughts. the way his hands caressed me like my body was porcelain, like he was afraid I would shatter under his touch. His finger tips brushing up and down my thigh and around my navel.

“CLAIRE!!” I snapped back into reality and Gellie stood in front of me hand on her hip, eyebrow raised.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about my discharge notes.” I cleared my throat and looked back down to my paper.

“Aye, if ye say so. Where’s wee Jamie?” She giggled, leaning against the desk.

“Shhh. He’s not in today, he has a study day.” I sighed.

“Ohh, will ye toy boy be at home when you finish?” She winked.

“G!! I’m only 2 years old than him!! And no, we don’t live together...he’s gone home for the next couple of day.” I continued writing down my documentation.

“A couple of days? Achhhh! That willna last, bet ye get him over tonight.” She teased poking me in the rib.

“Piss of will you! I’m not a child!” I scolded, maybe a little unnecessary but it only annoyed me because I knew she was right. There was no way on this earth Jamie and I would spend a couple of nights apart.

“I have to meet with the divorce lawyers after work.” I changed the subject.

“Oh aye, and what for?” G sighed typing away at her computer.

“Just draw up a few contracts.”

 

“Will Frank be there?” She coughed.

“Yep!” I rolled my eyes.

 

 

Later on, I pulled up outside of the solicitors office. Deep breath, Beauchamp. I climbed out of my car and locked it, Frank pulled up next to me. My heart raced in my chest.

I stood at my car door, waiting for him to climb out of his car. Once he did, he greeted me with a small smile. His face was battered and bruised and I felt a swell in my throat.

Frank walked over to me and I looked up at him with sadness in my eyes.

“Claire.”

“Oh, Frank. Hello” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry...about..” he began.

“Me too, it didn’t need to get out of hand, I hope we can just get past this.” I half smiled.

“Of course.” He smiled and ushered me to go in front as we entered the building.

 

-

 

“I don’t think that Claire should get my house, she’s fucking someone else.” He shouted. So much for getting past it.

“Mr Randall, please we cannot tolerate language like that.” Mr Alfred, the solicitor scolded Frank.

“Pardon me, sir. If I may, it was Frank who committed adultery. He hadn’t been living with me and we had started the divorce proceedings before I encountered any kind of new relationship.” I sat, my head held high. Frank would not win. Not this time.

“If that’s correct, Mr Randall then it will be split 50/50. If you cannot decided an agreement between you, the house will be put on the market and you will both get half each. Is that clear?” Mr Alfred said.

I nodded in agreement, my gaze went to Frank as I could see the steam coming from his ears. “Fine.” He snapped.

“I want it to go up for sale.” He snarled.

My heart beating, I knew he was doing this because of jealousy and spite but there was nothing I could do than go along with it and accept it, so I didn’t make myself look like the bad one.

“Fine by me.” I smiled.

“Right then, once the court has granted your divorce I will contact the estate agents to have any assets you possess, halved.” Mr Alfred stood up and offered his hand to Frank.

Frank, shook his hand. With gritted teeth.
I then reached out my hand and shook. “Thank you ever so much.” I smiled.

I began walking out of the building and Frank grabbed ahold of my arm, digging his fingers into the sensitive flesh under my arm pit.

“You won’t get away with this.” He spat.

“Frank, stop with the patronising behaviour. I am not scared of you. We are done here.”
I scolded ripping my arm from his grip and walking out of the building and straight to my car.

 

 

After I had gotten home I showered and changed into fluffy pyjamas with hearts all over them, I looked like a teenager going to a sleep over. I laughed at myself, bun scrunched up on the top of my head.

I sighed and threw myself onto the sofa, picking up the remote and flicking through the channels, I decided to go classic and put on Bridget Jones. I sipped my wine and sang along to ‘all by myself’ just as loudly as the tv, the neighbours must think I’m mid-breakdown.

I turned down the volume slightly after the song had finished. There was a loud knock on my door and I jumped up, excited for my Chinese food. I opened my door, purse in hand.

“And where d’ye think yer goin dressed like that, Sassenach?” Jamie smirked at me and lightly pushed past me to get into the house.

“Jamie! What are you doing here? I thought you were my Chinese food.” I scoffed. Slightly embarrassed to be wearing pink heart fluffy pjs.

“Sorry t’ disappoint ye. I’m just a wee Scot.” He joked steeping in front of me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Come, here!” He demanded and pulled one hand from my back to my neck, lightly tugging me forward for a kiss.

Another knock at the door. “Now that is my Chinese food.” I giggled pulling from Jamie’s embrace and heading to the door again.
I payed the man and shut the door.

“Hungry?” I smiled.

“Always..” he chuckled following me to the living room.

I passed Jamie a box of chicken noodles and chopsticks. I then opened a box myself and began eating, making ‘mmhmm’ noises.

“I hope you don’t mind Bridget Jones.” I laughed as I continued watching it.

“Aye, I’ll put up wi’ it for ye, Sassenach. How was the divorce meeting?” Jamie quizzed mouth full of noodles.

I explained to Jamie the whole thing that happened with Frank being nice to me and then just changing his behaviour. That it was looking good in my favour and they wanted everything split both ways.

“Aye, well that’s a wee bit of good news?” He smiled.

“Yes. It is. I mean, I don’t want to move but if it means being free from Frank then I’ll do what I must.” I sighed sipping some wine to wash down my food.

“And free to marry me.” Jamie said. His face instantly went red.

“What?” I said; shocked.

“I was just pulling yer leg. But, it’s still a good thing If we ever wanted to marry.” Jamie placed his hand on my knee and I could feel my chest tightening.

“Christ, I’m not even divorced yet. I can’t even think of marriage again for a long time.” I laughed, nervously.

“Aye.” He sighed.

“I want t’ take ye to lallybroch, my home. Well, my first home before me and Da got a place. When mother died, it was too hard for Da to stay there, ye ken? So Jenny, Ian and the bairns stayed and we got a place together. I havena visited Lallybroch for a year or so now. I want ye to meet my family.”
Jamie spoke of home with such pride and love, it warmed my heart to see him like that.

I leant over and placed a singular kiss on his lips. “I would love too, Jamie.”

Chapter Text

    

                           

 

 

*Lallybroch*

 

 

 

My palms sweated against the steering wheel of my car, Jamie’s hand lightly squeezing my thigh as we pulled up outside of his child hood home. I shut the engine off and took a big sigh and turned to face Jamie, with a nervous look.

 

“Dinna fash, they will love ye.” He reassured me brushing a loose curl behind my ear.

 

I nodded and took off my seatbelt, Jamie was already out of the car opening the boot to retrieve our suitcase.

 

“Christ, Sassenach! Are ye moving in?” Jamie teased as i locked my car doors.

 

“Well, you never know when you might need spare clothes.” I mumbled shoving my hands into my pockets.

 

“Aye, but it’s only two nights.” Jamie threw an arm over my shoulder pulling me into him.

 

I looked up to the beautiful view around me, the tallest trees blowing slightly in the breeze, the huge arch way of their family home stood tall. It looked like a castle.

 

“Jamie!” I heard someone shout, I turned around and coming down the front steps of the home a brown haired fare woman came running at us and threw herself at Jamie.

 

“Christ, it took ye long enough!” She scolded him reluctant to let him go from her embrace.

 

“Aye, I missed ye too, Jenny.” Jamie cooed to his sister. After they pulled apart her gaze set upon me and she half smiled.

 

“And what do we have here then?” She pried, looking back at Jamie.

 

“Oh, of course. Jenny, this is Claire. Claire Beauchamp.” Jamie said, intertwining his fingers in mine.

 

Jenny looked down to our joined hands and then back up to her brother, she smiled at me but I could already tell she didn’t approve, well, who could blame her. They had been through so much together as a family, and she probably only wanted someone that was perfect for her brother.

 

“Nice t’ see ye, Claire.” Jenny greeted me and I smiled back with a simple. “You too.”

 

We followed her into their home, it was ancient looking, tall and she held herself so beautifully. It was as if I had stepped back in time, everything seemed like it was from the 1800’s. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, candle sticks graced the centre of the tables.

 

“Come on, let’s get ye a wee pot of tea.”

 

Jenny said scurrying off into what I assumed was the kitchen. I pulled in a deep breath as I continued to take in the place. “Are ye alright?” Jamie brought me out of my deep thoughts.

 

“Ah, yes of course.” I smiled and sat down on the sofa, Jamie followed.

 

Jenny soon came out of the kitchen holding a silver tray with teacups, a tea pot and a plate of Scottish shortbread biscuits. She placed the tray down on the coffee table in-front and then began pouring the tea into the tiny bone China cups.

 

“Aye, get that down ye.” She said handing each of us a cup of tea, Jenny placed herself on the arm chair opposite us.

 

“So, Claire, what do ye do?” Jenny smiled sipping her tea and crossing her legs.

 

“I’m a nurse.”  I smiled, biting into my biscuit.

 

“Ah, like our Jamie?”

 

“Yes,” I looked up at him, he was smiling down at me.

 

 

“Right brother, how long will ye stay? I’ve got the spare room set up and ready, it’s no’ been used since ye last came.” Jenny placed her hand on her lap.

 

“Only two nights, if ye dinna mind. Claire has to get back for work.” Jamie nodded at his sister.

 

“Christ, I dinna see ye for a year and ye rush off? Claire can do as she pleases ye dinna need to follow her, ye ken.” Jenny spat at her brother, I wasn’t sure if she was jealous of my relationship with Jamie or she purely just didn’t like me.

 

“Janet!” Jamie scolded his sister. “Me and Claire are together, we both have responsibilities back at the hospital. I’ll thank ye to show respect. C’mon, Sassenach.” Jamie lent down and put his hand between my own, lifting me to my feet, he began leading me to the steep stair case.

 

“Dinna take all night will ye, supper willna be long.” Jenny shouted up as we climbed the stairs and Jamie ignored his sister’s comment.

 

We arrived into the room, Jamie putting our suitcase onto the very large four poster bed. I sighed as I slowly walked into the room lightly closing the door behind me.

 

“I’m sorry sassenach, about Jen, she has a sharp tongue, ye ken?” Jamie rushed over to me and held me by my shoulders.

 

“I hadn’t noticed.” I mumbled under my breath.

 

“Dinna fash, she’s just stubborn. She’ll see how I see ye and love ye.” He placed a brief kiss on my lips before turning back to the suitcase gently unzipping it.

 

“You said back there, we where together...what did you mean?” I quizzed sitting down on the bed next to Jamie as he pulled our clothes from the case.

 

“Well what d’ye think? Are we no’ together? I dinna tend to fall in love with someone and give them my all wi’out it being official.” He sniggered pulling out my little laced underwear and dangling it front of his face, smile brighter than the sun, I snatched them from his hand in disapproval.

 

“I got so lost in us I didn’t even think about it being ‘official’ but I suppose it can’t get much more serious.” I smiled up at him.

 

“I’ll marry ye one day Sassenach, and that is a promise.” Jamie’s hands caressed the palm of my hand. Tracing heart shapes along the padding of my skin.

 

“And who says I’ll marry you?” I giggled.

 

“Me. I do. Ye’ll be mine forever, like it or no’” he teased pulling my hand to his mouth and kissing the spot he had just been tracing. I looked up at him smiling at his boldness, my heart swelling with love.

 

 

 

——

 

 

 

We sat down at the grand dining table awaiting our supper, the children running in and out of the dining area giggling, what a beautiful sight to see I thought.

 

“Jesus, wee Jamie, Rabbie stop it! Sit down with ye uncle for ye supper or ye’ll get no’!”

 

Jenny cursed holding a large pot with a ladle hanging out of it, she placed the pot in front of me and Jamie and pulled two bowls from the dining room cabinet. Pouring the bowls full to the top with what I presumed was stew.

 

“Beef stew, that’ll warm ye cockles.” She smiled as she placed our food in front of us.

 

 

“Jamie!” A voice stood in the door way. Jamies eyes shot up to the man and his face beamed with happiness, I’ve never seen him come to his feet so fast, he all but ran to the man in the door way.

 

“Murtagh!!!” He bellowed.

 

“Aye, son. I missed ye,” Murtagh laughed and patted Jamies shoulder.

 

He followed Jamie to the dining table where he then took a seat opposite me.

The man struck me a strange glare and then looked back to Jamie, brows furrowed.

 

“Ah, Murtgah...this is, Claire.” He smiled taking ahold of my hand, he introduced me with such pride. “Claire, this is Murtagh...my god father.” His pride equaled when talking about his godfather.

 

“Hello, nice to meet you.” I smiled leaning my arm over the table holding my hand out and nodding my head, Murtagh grabbed onto my hand and shook smiling up at me.

 

“Aye, ye too, lassie. Christ Jamie, bout time ye found a woman no’ a girl.” Murtagh teased and Jamie lightly kicked him from under the table.

 

We carried on eating and Jenny poured Murtagh a plate of stew, we shared about 3 glasses of wine and talked of our lives individually. Murtagh was a jeweller and owned his own shop just outside of lallybroch and specialised in wedding and engagement rings. He spoke of his wife, Anne and children who where slightly younger than Jamie. He was a very interesting fellow, I could see the love he had for Jamie though, there was no doubt about that.

 

Jamie cleared his throat “if ye’ll excuse us, I would like to take Claire to meet donas.” He smiled standing up from his seat and pushing his chair under the table. I looked up at him confused. “My horse.” He slipped his hand between mine and helped me stand.

 

“Thank you for the food, it was lovely, Jenny. Murtagh, it was lovely to meet you.” I smiled sweetly and they both nodded.

 

~~~

 

 

“Isn’t he a fine beast?” Jamie cooed over the tall dark stallion, patting the horses belly, I stroked its long silky mane, taken aback by its beauty. “Yes, he’s wonderful Jamie.”

 

“I could teach ye to ride him, if ye want.” He smirked up at me still stroking his beast.

 

“What now?” I chuckled.

 

“Aye? Why no’?” He smiled grabbing my waist and pulling me into him.

 

“Well, for one, it’s pitch black outside, and two we aren’t the soberest right now.” I chuckled wrapping my arms around his neck and his arms sat lazily at the top of my bum.

 

“Also....I could think of something a lot better to ride.” I cringed slightly at myself, I had only had three glasses of wine so I really didn’t know why it had gotten to my head.

 

“Oh Aye?  Like??” He quizzed, nibbling on my lobe. “Hmmmm, I don’t know, maybe a tall dark stranger.” I teased and Jamie lightly slapped my bum cheek.

 

“Sorry, sir.” I looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, I knew it drove him stir crazy.

 

“Dinna look at me like that, neghean, ye dinna ken what It makes me want to do to ye..” he trailed his finger down the bridge of my nose and to my bottom lip, I sucked in slightly at the contact.

 

“Oh is that so? Well then, enlighten me..” I teased back, gripping the curls that were loose around his nape.

 

“Well, I’d start by kissing ye slowly...” he did exactly that. “And then....I would trail my lips across yer jaw, throat and bosom.” He said, as his lips and tongue followed his words.

I moaned slightly under his touch.

 

“And then what?” I swallowed loudly.

 

“Then, I would push ye up against this wooden panel, and fall to my knees...” he did, and lifted my leg and began removing my shoes, standing up quickly he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, leaving me in only my shirt and panties.

 

“Then, Sassenach....I would kiss ye from yer ankle, up yer leg and to ye thigh before reaching the place ye really wanted me.” He lifted my leg over his shoulder and teased the lace on the band of my knickers, I was held onto the wooden pole next to me for dear life. “And then what would you do?” I trembled.

 

“Ah, as for what’s next...I would slowly remove these lovely little panties, so ye were completely revealed to me.” He did as he spoke.

 

Jamie began placing kisses and lightly biting down on my hip, slowly making his way down to where I was aching for him, his finger grazing over me, I was nearly breathless and we hadn’t even started.

 

He looked up at me with lustful eyes, smiling and pressing his lips to my pubic bone.

His finger going up and down my entrance, driving me ecstatic. Slowly pushing in a finger, he continues to kiss my pubic area.

 

“So precious,” he mumbled against my skin, my whole body shaking and goosebumps arose. He brought his tongue to my clit and began licking and sucking lightly, sending me absolutely crazy I threw my head back in pleasure. I grabbed ahold of his unruly red curls with my free hand, moaning as his tongue licked over me.

 

I had never felt pleasure like this before, no man had ever sent me as crazy as Jamie does, he sets off something inside of me, like a firework.

 

“Jamie, I want you.” I roared through the moans, it didn’t take much encouragement as he rose to his feet and began unbuckling his pants and pulling them down along with his briefs, revealing his very large erection. I smirked at him and he grabbed my hips and lunged me forward, I lifted myself up and wrapped myself around his frame.

 

We kissed, hard. Our lips danced and our tongues caressed each other, biting and sucking on our lips. I grabbed Jamie’s cheek and pulled him away. “Do it now, and don’t be gentle.” I almost screamed.

 

And with that, he grabbed my ass and pulled me to him as he entered inside me, both of us letting out a groan, thrusting against me hard he whispered sweet nothings into the crook of my neck.

 

I held onto the pole with one hand and my other arm wrapped around Jamie’s neck as he thrashed inside of me, hitting deep inside of my core, touching my soft spot. “Christ Jamie, right there and don’t stop..” I cried, which only made him go faster. I think both of us were enjoying it so much we tried so hard not to let ourselves go too quickly.

 

Jamie was biting down at my throat and grunting with every pound, “I love ye.” He breathed into my neck. “I love you.” I responded, knowing I was nearly ready.

 

 

 

“JAMIE?” we heard shout.

 

SHIT.

 

“Jenny.” Jamie whispered pulling out of me as quickly as possible and putting me to the floor, he threw my clothes at me and we both quickly scrambled to get our clothes back on, both of us only in our underwear as Jenny approached. Jamie stood in front of me to cover me up.

 

“Jamie, are you-“ she stopped in her tracks, realising what was going on.

 

“Christ, ye ruttin’ beasts ye. Oh my god. Lord have mercy.” She placed her hands over her eyes.

 

“God, Janet leave will ye.” Jamie said through gritted teeth.

 

I felt my whole body go Scarlet red.

 

“Aye, that, I will.” She turned on her heal and left the stable doors.

 

Jamie turned to look at me and burst into laughter, I was not laughing on the other hand. “Stop that, I’m so embarrassed.” I sighed pulling my jeans back over my thighs and slipping my shoes on. “Oh dinna fash Claire.” He joked.

 

“Well it’s not you trying to get a good first impression is it?” I snapped and walked past him and out of the stable.

Chapter Text

Later that evening Jamie and I went back to our guest room. My head thumping in my skull from the alcohol and the embarrassment of Jenny finding us in stable, I wasn’t just mad at Jamie, I was more angry with myself at my actions and being so ruthless, naive to think someone wouldn’t of caught us. How would she ever want to accept me now?

 

I pulled out my night wear from the bedside drawer and began undressing. I hadn’t said a word to Jamie yet through my frustration and it maddened me more that he thought it was so hilarious that his sister caught us in the act. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t just his fault, though. It was also me, it’s not as if I wasn’t willing or wasn’t just as Into it was he was.

 

Jamie looked over at me pouting his lips.

“Ye no’ gonna put clothes on are ye?” He walked towards me and sat down next to me.

 

“Really?” I snapped, pulling my jeans down my legs.

 

“What’s gotten in’tae ye Claire?” His brows furrowed in confusion as he watched me pull my pyjama bottoms up.

 

“I’m just tired, Jamie. Can we go to sleep please?” I sighed, pulling the bedsheets back and crawling into the bed. I lay back and pulled the duvet over my body, Jamie was now stood at the foot of the bed.

 

“Seriously? What are you doing?” I rolled my eyes at him.

 

He began undressing himself, sweater going over his head revealing is perfect muscles and broad chest.

 

“Ye canna take ye eyes from me now, eh?” He teased, once again I rolled my eyes at his boy-ish comment.

 

Jamie climbed in next to me and turned on his side to face me. He brought his hand up to my face and traced his fingers across my face, caressing my bottom lip with his finger tip I just lay starring into his eyes, my chest rising faster and faster as his skin stroked mine. Damn, the affect he had upon my body was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

 

 

He trailed his fingertips down my neck where his fingers then spread and his whole hand was cupping the side of my neck, he licked his lips and bent down to kiss me. I obliged, obviously.

 

Slowly and softly we kissed, passion running through my veins and I wondered if I would ever stop wanting and needing his touch, his body upon mine, his eyes piercing my own. I loved how our lips felt against one another’s, well I loved how everything felt.

 

We deepened the kiss slightly so that our tongues where now meeting, once again. But it wasn’t rough and wanting. It was passionate and loving.

 

Once Jamie pulled away from my lips he placed a small kiss upon the tip of my nose and whispered.

 

“Good night, Sassenach.” Before blowing out the lit candle next to us.

 

“Good night, Jamie.”

I responded and cuddled into his chest where I slowly drifted into a deep sleep listening to the sound of his heart beating against my ear.

 

 

 

The next morning we had breakfast with the rest of the Frasers, Murtagh joined also.

I felt so embarrassed when I first saw Jenny this morning but she seemed to not even remember, like nothing had happened so I willingly went along with it.

 

She was softening ever so slightly to me, talking to me a little more than she had done the day before but I could see she was very reserved. She talked about the children and her husband, Ian, working away most of the time.

 

Today Jamie was spending the day with his Godfather after so long not seeing him they decided on going for a boys day at the pub for a ‘few’ beers, I knew it wouldn’t just be that but I didn’t mind I was glad that Jamie was spending time with his family, I could see he thrived here. He lived and breathed for the Fraser Clan.

 

I was very apprehensive about spending the day with Jenny to be honest, Jamie reassured me she would be fine and would probably just talk of their family.

 

I would just try and spend time with Jamie’s nephews and get to know them a little more, maybe Jenny would let me take them for a walk around the grounds. There was fields for miles here and I would love to see all its beauty.

 

 

“Dinna fash, ye’ll have loads of fun. Aye?” Jamie giggled rubbing his thumb on my chin.

 

“I just want her to like me, Jamie.” I sighed shrugging my shoulders and darting my gaze from his.

 

“Claire, she will. How can anyone no’ love ye? Anyway, she has no choice in the matter. Yer with me forever.” He planted a small kiss on my lips and I nodded my head in agreement.

 

 

 

After Jamie had gone I sat with wee Jamie and Rabbie doing painting and drawings with them, they were such sweet boys and are very clever.

 

“So do ye and uncle Jamie, like love each other?” Rabbie asked and scrunched his nose up at me, I laughed and nodded my head.

 

“Yes, we do.” I patted his head.

 

“Eeeewwwww!” He exclaimed.

 

“Ahh, you say that now. But when your a big boy you will love someone, too.” I smiled.

 

“No miss, I don’t think I will.” He shook his head and continued drawing his dinosaur picture.

 

I wondered where Jenny had gotten too, she said she wasn’t going to be long just to fetch something from the bedroom. That was over 30 mins ago, I told the boys to carry on with their drawings while I wandered up the stairs. “Jenny?” I shouted. Nothing.

 

I walked up to her bedroom and knocked lightly on her door, nothing from there either. I folded my arms and wandered back towards the stairs when I heard a retching sound. I walked to the bathroom and put my ear to the door, retching again.

 

I lightly tapped on the door. “Jenny? Are you alright?” I quizzed.

 

“Uh, yeah..I’ll no’ be a minute...” she said as she continued to vomit. I decided on waiting outside of the bathroom for her, my nursing instincts kicked in.

 

The toilet flushed and the door clicked open, Jenny had tears streaming out of her eyes and she held her hand to her stomach.

 

“Whatever is the matter?” I placed my hand on her shoulder.

 

“Ahhhh, dinna fash lass. T’is just the morning sickness.” She half smiled wiping her mouth on a hand towel.

 

“You’re pregnant?” I said, shocked.

 

“Oh Aye, I havena told my brother yet, so I would appreciate...” she looked as if she was going to be sick again.

 

“No, of course. Come, I know just the thing that will help settle your stomach.” I smiled wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

 

 

 

I walked through to the living area where Jenny was sat, the children still sat at the table painting and colouring.

I placed a tea cup in front of her and knelt down next to her.

 

“Ginger tea, it’s rank. But it will help.” I smiled rubbing her knee.

 

“I thank ye, Claire. I thought I was gonna die with all this vomiting..” She sighed and leant forward to lift the cup to her mouth.

 

“Small sips!” I said, just as she took the cup to her lips.

 

“Aye.” She nodded and continued to drink her tea.

 

I sat opposite her and crossed my arms. “So, why haven’t you told Jamie?” I quizzed.

 

“Ach, I dinna ken. Just havena had the right moment, I guess.” She sighed rubbing her tummy and throwing her head back.

 

“I hope it’s not because I’m here.” I gulped.

 

“Nae lass, sorry if I have been hard on ye. It’s just I’m no’ used to seeing my brother with someone, ye ken? And it seems he’s smitten wi’ ye...”

 

 

“Quite, the feeling is mutual.” I said, blushing.

 

“Aye, I see that, witnessed it.” She laughed and I closed my eyes and cringed.

 

“Yes. About that...” Jenny stopped me mid sentence.

 

“Oh hush now, I have lost count on how many times my brother has heard me and Ian..” she chuckled.

 

“Oh...but still, I’m sorry.” I smiled, sipping my own tea.

 

“Dinna fash. I’m glad ye here, wi’ my brother Claire.” She nodded and I smiled and nodded back at her.

 

~

 

 

“Uncle Jamie!!!!!” the children came running at Jamie as he returned. He scooped them up in his arms and spun them around. “Hello, laddies.” He giggled and put them down and looked at me.

 

Walking towards me quickly he said “Hello, Sassenach.” He smiled and also picked me up in his arms and spun me around, placing me down he planted about 7 kisses on my lips one after the other.

 

“You’re in a good mood.” I joked.

 

“Aye, lifes good is it no’? I have my family and the woman I love.” He looked deep into my eyes and I thrashed my lips upon his, kissing him hard.

 

“Come on, love birds. Supper.” Jenny hurried us through to the dining area and we had yet, another delicious meal.

 

I couldn’t believe how much I felt I belonged here, with the Frasers. I felt at home whereas I had never felt like that before. I never knew where I wanted to be in my life, until now. I wanted to be here.

 

 

-

 

 

 

“Good-bye Jenny.” I smiled and pulled her in for a hug.

 

“Aye, ye too lass.” She smiled back at me.

 

“And you, brother. Dinna take so long next time, Aye? The next time ye arrive you’ll have a new niece or nephew.” Jenny’s face beamed at her brother.

 

Jamies face was filled with confusion and it took him a minute to realise what she was saying.

“Another bairn?” He chuckled.

 

“Aye,” Jenny nodded.

 

“Christ. This is wonderful. We will return when you have had the baby.” Jamie pulled his sister into his arms and held her tight.

 

“Safe travels.” Jenny stood at the front door waving us off.

 

Chapter Text

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jamie and I had been back from Lallybroch for a couple of days now. I had returned back to work and Jamie hadn’t been in the hospital on my shifts for a while as he had to take study days for his exams. I missed his presence at work, it somehow didn’t feel right without him there watching over my shoulder.

 

 

 

Today was Wednesday and I had a finalisation of the divorce with Frank, it was settled that as soon as the papers where signed and we were officially divorced, the house had to be put up for sale.

 

I was anxious about seeing Frank. I didn’t want any animosity or things to be made harder than what they already where. I just wanted everything to run smoothly so we could both be mature and move on with our lives. But I knew somehow, Frank still wasn’t going to give in.

 

 

I looked at my phone and it was 8.30am, I had to be at the solicitors by 10am. I quickly dialled Jamie’s number on my phone, it rang a few times before his beautiful husky Scottish morning voice kissed my ears.

 

“Good morning, Sassenach.” He yawned.

 

 

“Did I wake you, sleepy?”

 

 

“Nae, I was getting ready to take a shower.”

 

 

“Oh, where you now?” I said chuckling.

 

 

“Aye, would be much better if ye were here wi’ me.”

 

 

“Hmm, it would. Maybe later, after you finish your studies?” I said, flirtatiously.

 

 

“Bonny. I only have half a day, I’ll be with ye a soon as I’m done.” He almost growled.

 

 

“Right then, Mr Fraser...wash up, I gotta get ready for my deal with the devil.” I joked.

 

 

“Dinna fash, Claire. He’ll be out ye life by the end of today.” Jamie reassured me.

 

 

“ That is True. Bye, lover.” I teased.

 

~

 

 

 

 

I rolled up outside of the solicitors, my heart racing and my chest tightening with the growing anxiety. I stepped out of my car and threw my handbag over my shoulder, straightened out my jacket and took in a deep breath as I walked up to the building.

 

 

“Right, you both need to sign here.” The solicitor threw at least 7 pages of documentation at myself and Frank and we both sat for about half an hour signing everything.

 

“All done. You are now officially divorced.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed deep, I wasn’t sure if it was the relief or the sorrow I felt, that we had gotten to this point.

 

Frank and I shook the hands of the solicitor and left the building.

 

Fumbling in my bag for my keys Frank approached me.

 

“Claire...” I looked up at him, and I just nodded.

 

 

“I know. Me too. Why don’t you come to the house for a coffee, we can talk?” I smiled and Frank agreed, climbing into his car and starting the engine.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

I placed the two coffees down on the table and took a seat next to Frank on the sofa. I was quite unsure of what it actually was that I wanted to discuss, I felt nervous and apprehensive about where the conversation was going to go and how Frank would act.  I began sweating with the intensity. I looked up at him and smiled. he picked up his coffee mug and took small sips and I sighed, looking down at my skirt and picking at the hem.

 

Soon, Frank broke the silence.

 

“Why am I here, Claire?” He quizzed.

 

“I..uh, well..” I couldn’t even get my words out. I didn’t actually  know.

 

“Well if you’ve changed your mind, it’s a little late..” he laughed.

 

“No. It’s not that. I just didn’t want to leave this on bad terms.” I began sipping my own coffee.

 

 

“No. Me either. We haven’t really spoke like adults, well in a while...”

 

 

“Frank, I...I, just..I would like us to be friends and have no bad blood betwixt us, nor between you and Jamie.” I cringed slightly at bringing Jamie up, I wasn’t entirely sure how Frank would react to the mention of his name.

 

“There’s no bad blood, Claire. I was jealous, I still am. But if you’ve moved on, and this ‘Jamie’....he cares for you, then you deserve to be happy.” Frank half smiled.

 

I smiled up at him, with true happiness, this was the first time in what felt like so long that he’d been actually kind to me.

 

 

“Thank you, Frank. I appreciate you saying that.” I placed my hand on his shoulder, he reached his up to place his hand over mine.

 

“I never actually said this properly to you Claire,” he looked deep into my eyes and I could see in him, he was genuine with what he was about to say.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so, sorry. I’m not trying to get you back by telling you I was an idiot and blah, but...I need you to know, it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I will regret it, for the rest of my life. I don’t know why I did it. Because I loved you, I love you still.” He sighed, I hadn’t even realised I was crying.

 

“I accept your apology. But I will never forget  what you did, Frank. You hurt me, you don’t hurt the people you love.” The tears trickled down my face. I wasn’t heartbroken sad, I was just sad that things had turned out the way they had for us. I never wanted there to be any animosity between us.

 

“Darling..” Frank cupped the side of my cheek and wiped away the flowing tears with his thumb. I looked up at him and chuckled slightly at my stupidity.

 

 

“I’m sorry. I love you.” He whispered...

 

“Frank, please. Don’t tell me that. I can’t.” I mumbled, he still had his hand on my face and before I could speak my door flung open and Jamie stood before us, rage all over his face. He looked at myself and Frank, he hadn’t moved his hand away from my cheek but I quickly did and brushed my tears away with my sleeve.

 

“Jamie!” I exclaimed. Frank was silent.

 

 

“What’s going on here?” He spat.

 

 

“Nothing! We are just talking and saying our good-byes.” I walked towards him.

 

 

“Dinna come near me, I ken what I saw. Good bye, Claire.” Jamie turned away and I grabbed his arm.

 

“Jamie! What’re you on about? Don’t be silly.” I laughed, trying to make light of the situation.

 

He ripped his arm from my grip. “Aye, that, I am.” And with that, he walked out, door slamming behind him.

 

I turned to Frank and he sat back in shock, but I also saw some sort of a smirk on his lips. I knew it was all too good to be true, a leopard never changes it’s spots.

 

I think you should go, I have to sort things here.” I sighed, folding my arms across my chest. He nodded and grabbed his coat and keys. I saw him to the door and he bent and kissed my forehead. “Good bye, Claire.” He walked away without even looking back.

“Goodbye..”

 

 

~

 

 

I pulled up outside the block of flats Jamie lived in with his friend, Fergus. I didn’t actually know which one he lived at, I knew it was the top level so I guess I would have to knock on them all until I found him.

 

I made my way up the stairs, they were very steep and winding, there’s must of been about 4 stories. Once I had reached the top level, there was 5 flats so I began at number 40, knocking an elderly woman answered.

 

“How can I help you, my dear?” She smiled.

 

“I’m really sorry to bother you, I’m looking for my friend, he lives with a tenant here, Fergus?” I quizzed.

 

“Oh of course, young Fergus and Jamie. Lovely boys, always carrying my shopping bags. Flat 43, sweetie.” She grinned.

 

“Thank you so much!!” I said, rushing off and finding my way to number 43.

 

Right, Claire. Pull your damn self together. I took in a deep breath and sighed before knocking lightly against the worn wooden door. I heard fumbling and unlocking as the door then opened. A tall, slim, dark haired young lad stood before me.

 

“Fergus?” I smiled.

 

“Depends, who’s asking?...” he shot me a confused glare.

 

“Oh, yes, sorry...Claire. I’m here for Jamie, is he home?” I quizzed trying to look further into the flat.

 

“Ahhhhh, so you’re the famous Claire? Yes, he’s here...not long got here, he’s half gone with drink, mind.” He stood to the side of the door and ushered me in to the little flat.

 

“He’s just through there..” he point to a room on the opposite side of the flat. I nodded and thanked him.

 

I lightly knocked on the door and almost whispered. “Jamie?”

 

“Aye..” he mumbled. I opened the door and Jamie was sat at the end of the bed bottle of whisky in hand.

 

“What on earth are you doing?” I quizzed walking over to him.

 

“Me? Yer in no position to ask me wha’ im doin’!!” he scoffed.

 

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” My brows raised, arms folded.

 

Jamie rose to his feet now towering over me, I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

 

“Dinna play stupid wi’ me, I take ye to see my wee family and this is how ye treat me..”

 

“Oh for god sake, will you stop wallowing!” I shouted, grabbing the whisky from his hand.

 

There was a light knock on the door and Fergus shouted through that he’d be going out now to stay with his girlfriend. Jamie responded with a mumble ‘aye’.

I was relieved if I’m honest, I didn’t particularly want him listening in.

 

“Right. So are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you?” I pried.

 

“Me? I’m no’ the one fucking my ex, did he make ye scream like I do? Hmm?” He spat, I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me, without thinking I lifted my hand and slapped him across his face.

 

“How dare you!” He looked at me puzzled and shocked at my response.

 

 

“Well, I saw wi’ my own eyes..” he mumbled sitting back down.

 

“Saw what? Did you see me fucking him? No, you didn’t Jamie.” I could feel the blood running through my veins.

 

“Well I saw enough to ken that’s where it where headin!” He scratched his neck.

 

“I just can’t believe you. You really think I’d do that? You really think I would cheat on you, as my ex husband did to me? How could you ever think I could do that?!” I felt the tears building and the lump in the back of my throat getting harder to swallow.

 

“Noooo, baby. I just saw his hand on ye, I saw red...the jealousy ran through me and all I could see was him taking ye in his arms, holding yer body...Christ it made me wanna kill someone.” He explained, fists tightened.

 

I shook my head and knelt down on the floor in front of him, lightly parting his legs so I was stood in between. I lifted my hand to his face, and forced him to meet my eye. He did.

 

“I don’t want anyone else. Ever. Only you, always and forever..” I said cupping his cheek.

 

“I’m sorry, Mo Chridhe...” he sighed.

I placed my lips on top of his, but I didn’t kiss him I just whispered into his mouth.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love ye, so, so much.” He responded sighing into my mouth. I could taste the whisky mixed with mint on his breath, intoxicating me.

 

I kissed him then, slowly, passionate but not lustful, just lovingly. His hands found my hips and he slowly lifted me up and into his lap where I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing a little more intensely now. Our tongues met again, in their natural place. He held me tight to him, I moved my hands up to his hair fumbling amongst red locks.

 

I stopped for breath and whispered “I’m yours.” And with that, he flipped me over and pinned me to the bed. Kissing my entire face, neck and tops of my bosom. Pleasure shot through my body like electricity.

 

Jamie began stripping me down, little by little, teasing me with each item of clothing he removed, until I was completely naked. His eyes raked my entire body.

 

“Christ, how did I get so lucky, Aye?”

He began kissing every inch of my body, teasing me and intensifying the growing tingling sensation in my very core. The way he held me, the way he kissed me, he possessed me. The gentleness of his hands all over me made me feel a way I had never felt before. Sometimes, he only had to look at me and I was ready for him.

 

 

Jamie continued teasing, licking and sucking at the most sensitive parts of my skin. Flicking his tongue across my nipple driving me insane as his thumb lightly scrapped across my entrance, making me almost beg. I grabbed his face and pulled him to look at me. “Do it, do it now and don’t be gentle.” I demanded. Jamie didn’t take much encouragement, he lifted my hips and wrapped an arm around my thigh and slowly entered me, making me scream in pleasure.

 

He rocked in and out of me and he kept his thumb pressed to my clit as he thrusted into me. Slowling it down every now and then knowing it made me absolutely crazy,  I could’ve died and gone to heaven right there. He knew exactly where to touch me, how to send pleasure through my body.

He knew how to fuck me, but also how to make love to me.

 

“Claire..” he moaned into my mouth and I held onto his bum cheeks, pushing him in deeper so I could feel him deep inside of my stomach.

 

His mouth grazed my nipple and his thumb working in circular motions as he rode into me. “Please - Jamie...you’re making me...oh god, yes..” I cried as I reached my orgasm, my entire body shaking, my walls tensing and clenching around his shaft. Jamie pretty much came straight away as I had reached my finish.

 

He collapsed on top of me and kissed my neck and nuzzled into me. “I’m sorry, Claire.” He mumbled into the crook of my neck, still breathless.

 

“Shhh, it’s ok.” I said, stroking his hair and inhaling his scent.

 

“Just hold me like this a while?” I asked rubbing my nose on his cheek.

 

“Yes, Sassenach.”

Chapter Text

 

 

 

 

 

*spring time*

 

 

Some time had gone by, we had now approached spring. The flowers bloomed and the trees bloomed greener than ever. The cold crisp Scottish air had turned mild and light. The evenings began to extend as the daylight stayed longer, mornings became lighter and made it just that little bit easier to get out of bed.

 

 

Jamie and I had spent the past few months exploring each other and our relationship, it was growing faster and faster by the day. To most people our relationship would seem very quick, but for us, it was just right. I had fallen in love so soon, the easiest love I’ve ever experienced. Everything felt amazing with Jamie. Everything we did together we throughly enjoy whether it was Sex, cuddling, going for walks or even just sitting and holding each other in silence. Sometime’s we didn’t even need words.

 

 

Frank and I hadn’t spoken since the day we said good bye, which I was relieved with really. I was glad that we have both moved on and handled things maturely. Even though he was still adamant we had to sell up. It didn’t really bother me, honestly. I just wanted him out of my life for good.

 

Gellie and Dougal had kindly offered me their spare bedroom while I found somewhere to live more permanently, the house had sold so quick I didn’t even have time to think of getting a place.

I had to make sure house hunting was top of my agenda, I didn’t want to over stay my welcome with my friends. Plus, what kind of relationship would Jamie and I have with G next door to us. It would have to do, for now. But I couldn’t make it a long term thing.

 

 

 

I sat in my empty living room, everything was bare. I had packed up my entire life and put it all in storage until I had a place of my own. All that was left was blankets and pillows as I was sleeping on the floor for the next night, I didn’t yet want to go to my friends. I thought it best I leave it as long as possible. But I had to be out and the keys handed back by 10am tomorrow morning.

 

Jamie had been helping me pack up the last of the stuff, himself and Dougal rented a van to take all my large furniture. And I stayed here packing up my essentials I would need with me.

 

It was around 7.30pm and I had packaged up the last box, the smaller boxes could fit in my car so I would run them up to storage in the morning, I was too worn out to continue any longer.

 

 

“Right, Sassenach, that’s the last.” Jamie sighed rubbing his hands together.

 

I sat in the middle of the living room floor with my legs crossed.

 

“Thank you, I couldn’t of done it with out you.” I smiled, reaching my hand up for him to take ahold. He did, and bent down and grazed his lips across my knuckle.

 

“Dinna fash..” he said, smirking through wispy lashes.

 

“Shall we grab take out?”

 

 

“Aye, good idea. I dinna ken where we would cook here, there’s naught.” Jamie joked

I lightly swatted his arm and pulled my phone from my bag.

 

“I’ll draw up the menu, fancy Italian?” I said opening the google tab.

 

“Aye.”

 

 

-

 

 

 

Our dinner arrived and we sat on the floor together and ate our food out of its containers because I had packed away all the plates and cutlery. Luckily, the restaurant provided us with throw-away forks.

 

Jamie had chicken tomato pasta and I had pesto and mozzarella.

 

“Are ye goin’ t’open that wine?” Jamie laughed.

 

“Well, You are quite capable of doing it yourself.” I raised my eyebrow.

 

“True, i dinna ken if we have any glasses.” He quizzed.

 

“No, WE don’t. I packed them all.” I chuckled shoving another mouthful of pasta into my mouth.

 

“Looks like we’ll have it from the bottle?” Jamie pulled open the cap and took a swig

and then handed it to me, I accepted and took a drink myself.

 

“So classy.” I smiled.

 

“Aye, ye are, yer a Bonny wee thing.” He said squeezing my thigh.

 

“Hmm, I don’t know about that.” I shook my head.

 

“Are ye joking? I could eat ye, ye so delicious.”

 

My mouth formed a smirk at his comment.

 

“Oh, could you?” I teased.

 

“Oh, definitely, Mo Chridhe.” He took his gaze from mine and finished the last of the pasta.

 

I put all of the empties into a carrier bag and threw it out to the outside trash.

 

Jamie and I sat upon loads of blankets and pillows in the middle of the floor sharing the wine, passing it back and forth to one another.

 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to get me drunk, James Fraser.” I teased, taking his large hand in mine.

 

“You wish..” he winked at me, terribly.

 

I burst out laughing. “If that was meant to be sexy. It wasn’t.” I said playfully.

 

“Ouch, ye hurt my feeling, Sassenach.” Jamie pouted and lowered his head.

 

I scooted over and put myself upon his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. His large arms wrapped around me, like a safety blanket. His hand sat on my hip, this thumb tracing the small patch of bare skin that was on show from my shirt slightly rising.

 

“Claire, I’ve been thinking...” he trailed, leaning his head against mine.

 

I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

 

“I dinna want ye going to my uncles.” He coughed.

 

“What? Why?” I said through confusion.

 

“It’s no anything to do with Dougal or Geillis, tis’ only....You belong wi’ me, Sassench.” He tucked my loose curl behind my ear and traced his finger along my jawline.

 

“What exactly is it that you’re saying, Jamie?” My fingers curling round his tight ringlets at the back of his head.

 

“I want ye to come and live wi’ me, at my fathers house, ken? Just hear me out. I own the place since I lost Da, he left the house to me because we shared it. I havena been able to face it. But it’s time, and this is the perfect opportunity...” He sighed fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

 

 

“Jamie, it’s a lot. Us living together? At your fathers home? It would be a great opportunity yes, but..I don’t want you doing it on my behalf.” I reassured him.

 

“It willna. I gotta do it, sooner or later. You have given me the strength to do it. And, I ken you’ll no leave me.” He whispered against my hair.

 

I moved my head back and placed my hands either side of his face.

 

“I will not and could never, ever leave you.” I placed a small kiss upon his pink lips.

 

“So, Sassenach. Are ye ready for me to take ye home?”

 

“Yes.”

 

That night we had sex and made love, for hours on end. Every way you could imagine. We couldn’t get enough of one another. The way our bodies collided. Our hearts joined.

 

Every breath, every moment was ecstasy. His hands all over me, holding my face, breasts and ass. His mouth trailing kisses from my mouth to my most sensitive area. Whispering sweet nothings in Gaelic to me.

 

 

 

-

 

 

"Are you alright?" I slipped my hand into Jamie's and lightly squoze his palm tight against mine.

 

I could tell he wasn't, but i wanted him to know that i was there and i could see how hard facing his fathers home was. In that moment, all i wanted was wrap my entire body around him and show him that i would help him through this, that i wanted to protect and nurture him.

 

His beautiful blue eyes peering down at me, i could see the sadness washing through him as he gulped, nearly swallowing his adam apple.

 

it was silly of me to ask if he was okay, i knew well enough the answer just by looking at him.

 

"Jamie, we dont have to do this. We can go to a hotel for tonight and figure something out."

 

"Nae, Sassench. I have tae do this, ye ken? i canna be a coward forever." he sighed, letting my hand slip from his, but quickly wrapping one arm around my waist to pull me closer.

 

"You are not a coward, Please, dont ever say that." I felt my heart tighten at how he'd spent all this time blaming himself for his fathers death. When in reality, there was nothing he could've done to prevent it, nor anyone else. it was merely a terrible tragedy and i knew that it was hard to accept, hard to see it that way. it took me so many years to accept that my parents death was nothing more than a tradgey that nobody could've stopped.

 

"As long as I am wi' ye, and I ken yer by my side. I'll be always be alright." he smiled at me, still pain behind his eyes but i knew that me being here meant so much to him and

it also comforted me that he could seek out solace within me, it made me feel like as long as we where together, it would be ok.

 

"Always and Forver." I reached up to stroke the warmth of his cheeks.

 

Small, minute even, steps to the front of his beloved fathers home, i could almost see his heart pumping through his chest as he approached the front door.

his palms sweated against mine and his grip on my hand getting tighter and tighter as we approached the hall way, his knuckles slightly turning white with the grip.

 

The house wasnt as I imagined, to be honest, I thought it would've been slightly dated with old red coloured carpets and thick mint green coloured curtains that hung too far from the window. It was totally different, upon the hall way, faced the set of stairs, in which had very pale grey carpets. opposite the stairs was the living area, laminated flooring throughtout the ground floor.

 

It was all very much neuteral, whites and greys throughout. In the living area, there was a large white leather sofa, lined with thick looking grey throws and scatter cushions to match.

the tv sat on a small unit in the corner of the room and on the opposite side stood a huge pale Oak open book shelf, filled with what i presumed was a whole range of different books.

 

The mantle-piece was filled with photographs, I traced my finger along the marble top, as i looked around and took in my surroundings. Jamie stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, looking as if the entire world was sat upon his broad shoulders.

 

I looked down at the photo's of Jamie's family. Jenny and Jamie from when they where 'wee Bairns' and some of them when they where at school and college. The most recent one, Jamie said  it was from his first day of medical school. He sighed, explaining that he was terribly saddend by the fact Brian, his father, never got to see him attend training at a real hospital.

 

Brian and Ellen, would've been so proud to call Jamie their son. He was acheiving everything that he wanted from his life, he was a respectible, kind, loving and gentle person.

 

I ran my thumb over the photograph of Jamie and his Parents, it was clearly a photo taken many years ago, and by the looks of things, while they where on a vacation. The padding of my thumb lazily touching over Jamie's Mother, I looked up at him and smiled.

 

"Shes beautiful, Jamie." I looked back down at the angelic looking woman, in awe.

 

"Aye, that she was. And kind, funny. Ach, she was incredible." his face lit up as the memories of his loving mother swarmed his mind. It was bittersweet, sadness met happiness. Happy for the memories, Sad that no more could be made.

 

I placed the photos back down, and followed Jamie into the next room, the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks and I could see the pool of tears in his eyes, his chest rising and his jaw clensing.

 

"Its alright, let it out." I whispered and lent my chin on his shoulder, he squeezed his eyes shut as a single tear fell onto his cheek. he stood taking in the very room his father took his last breath.

 

"I've got you," I cooed.

 

Later on, Jamie and I continued our tour of the place that I would soon be calling home, there was three bedrooms. Jamies old room, His fathers, and guest room for where I presumed the grandchildren slept when they stayed with their grand'da

 

Jamie and I obviously decided on staying in His old bedroom. it was pretty plain, very simple decor, well like the rest of the house was. I was intruged to know if there was anything in terms of decor we could do that would make it easier for him to live there once again.

 

Afer unpacking for a few hours, finding places where my things should go, I even got a shelf all to myself for my perfumes, which i loved. Frank would've never of let me have a shelf for perfume in our bedroom.

 

I decided on giving the place a freshen up, spring clean, as it were. Jamie was sorting through some of his old things he had for some years and was deciding on what to keep and what not to.

 

I Had plugged my Alexa in and began cleaning the kitchen, the first place on my list, as i knew it was the hardest room in the house for Jamie to be in.

 

I felt content, and happy, to be here. I know it pained Jamie so very much, but  I knew in my heart this was a real opportunity for us, both of us, for me to move on with my life as a newly divorcee, and for jamie to try and put his past behind him and forgive himself, i knew he hadnt done anything that required forgivness, but in his own head and heart, he did.

I had hoped, that soon enough he would be happy here also. I knew it was a work in progress but, one day, this would be our real home. Just as I knew, his father would want him too.

 

I had changed the bedding on Jamies bed, to the one from my own, added a few little adjustments here and there, like adding my own light shades, curtains and towels.

Just so that I didnt feel completely in a strange place, and for Jamie too, he had come to see me, and us as his home.

 

We climbed into bed, late that night, both of us exhausted from the day we'd had, physically, emotionally and mentally.

 

I lay my head on Jamies chest and closed my eyes, breathing in his masuculine scent. his hands lightly rummaging through my mass of curls, twirling little curls around his fingers.

 

"Sassenach?" he whispered.

 

"mmhm?" I responded in my sleepish state. "I love you."

 

my eyes opened and I slightly shifted upwards, I could see only the outlines of his face, it was too dark to see his real expression. i managed to find his chin with my hand and stroke his stubble with my thumb.

“I love you, too." i whispered against his lips. only ever so lightly brushing my lips against his.

 

"Thank ye, for today, for everday, thank god for ye, mo nighean donn." he cooed, still twirling my hair around his fingers.

 

"Theres the two of us, now." I kissed his cheek, ever so softly.

Chapter Text

 

 

 

 

 

A few weeks had passed by since Jamie and I moved into his fathers home, we had made small adjustments to the place mainly just to add our own homely touch to things. And also for Jamie, so it wasn’t all a constant reminder. He didn’t mind me titivating stuff and changing things, in fact I think he welcomed it.

 

It was the last few days of April and I knew Jamie’s birthday was approaching on the 1st May. I wanted to do something special for him but I just didn’t know what he would want, truthfully, I didn’t know if he was the type for big gatherings and parties. Or he’d just want a simple evening out with me. I thought the best person to ask was Gellie, since Dougal’s his uncle.

 

I had finished work one evening and asked G if I could go over to hers for a glass of wine after our shift, of course, she was more than happy to oblige.

 

I sat down on the large flannel sofa, nearly sinking into the middle, Gellie handed me a rather big glass of wine. It almost looked like a fish bowl.

 

“Jesus, G!” I laughed taking my first sip.

 

“Shut ye trap and drink up, lassie.” She had a way with words that one, some people who didn’t know her would say she was borderline rude, but I knew her well enough that was just her humour and she meant nothing by it.

 

“What’s goin’ on wi’ ye?”

 

“Well, it’s Jamie, it’s only, his, well I..” I didn’t even know why I couldn’t get my words out.

 

G cut me short. “Mother of god, he’s no’ knocked yer up, has he?” Her eyebrows raised, head shaking.

 

“Gellie! No! Of course no!” My eyes widened with the shock of her comment.

 

“Weeel, you’ve been awful cranky lately, I dinna ken if ye could be cooking a wee tiny fox in there...” she gestured pointing to my stomach.

 

“No! My cycles have been bad recently, and you know I don’t think I can have children. Remember? Frank and I...” I trailed off, not wanting to really bring up the trauma of trying to get pregnant and failing, time after time. There is nothing more gut-wrenching than seeing only one line on that pregnancy test.

 

“Aye, I see. Weeel, what’s to do then?” She smiled softly, she’d nearly finished her wine and we hadn’t even started our topic of conversation yet.

 

“It’s Jamie’s birthday, on the 1st. And well, I just don’t know what to do. It’s the first time we have celebrated a birthday as a couple..” I was blushing slightly at myself.

 

“Accch, our wee Jamie isna one for big celebrations, ye ken? But if ye think he’ll

Enjoy a wee do...we can do it?” She smiled sweetly.

 

“We? Oh, G, I don’t mean to put anything on you...I, it’s only...it’s his 30th, I want it to be special.” I was biting down on the skin around my nails.

Gellie smacked my hand away from my mouth, “dinna do that!” She always scolded me like a child.

 

“And as for Jamie’s party, Aye. It’s his big 3-0, of course me and Dougal will help ye, I ken a place that would hold the party, and Tina that works on the ward next to us, she has a catering company, I’ll give her a call!”

 

 

I smiled and threw my arms around my best friend and kissed her cheek repeatedly. “You are the best.”

 

“Aye, don’t you forget it...”

 

 

 

 

 

Jamie’s Birthday.

 

 

It was 7.30am on Saturday, the morning of Jamie’s birthday party. He didn’t know that we where throwing him a birthday get-together. He just thought I was taking him for dinner.

 

I sat up, sleepily stretching my arms and legs, arching my back slightly. Jamie was still flat out, I rolled onto my stomach and lent on my elbows, staring at his fine features, I did this often. I was mostly always awake before him and it gave me time to take him in, the way his forehead lightly wrinkled when he grimaced. And his eyelashes slightly brushing against his cheek as his eyes stirred.

 

“Good morning, my love.” I whispered, twirling my finger around a singular curl, I bent my head and placed a light kiss upon his broad shoulder. He slightly stirred, I moved my body up and towered over his sleeping body, I kissed his cheek, then neck, and sternum. Slowing making my way down, when I reached his abdomen, he awoke.

 

“Sassenach?” Ahhh, there’s that sexy morning voice that sent me crazy.

 

“Mhmm?” I mumbled, kissing his hipbone.

 

“What ye doin!?” He quizzed as I traced my finger across the waist band of his briefs. Lightly hooking my finger underneath and slapping the elastic against his skin.

 

“Happy birthday, Mr Fraser....” I kissed his thigh and cupped him from the outside of his underwear, he ever so slightly jerked his body.

 

I began pulling his briefs off, setting free his solid erection, it lightly twitched every time I touched his balls. I smirked, knowing exactly what I was doing.

 

“Wh-h-at, time is it?” He mumbled and I pulled away slightly laughing.

 

“Really? You’re interested in the time right now?” I laughed and Jamie joined me.

 

Quickly turning back to the job at hand, literally. I began doing my thing. Taking him straight into my mouth without warning, his hips thrusted pushing himself deeper into my throat.

 

Before he could finish, I sat up and removed my nightgown, crawling back up to him and positing myself over his cock.

 

“Happy birthday to you....” I sung, every so quietly as I lightly grazed my entrance across his tips. “Happy birthday, dear, Jamie...” I continued, now fully sitting on his erection, he moaned into my mouth as I lightly rocked my hips. “Happy birthday, tooo, youuu.” I moaned, forehead pressed against his and I continued doing my job.

 

-

 

 

 

“Ahhh, do ye ken how sexy ye were this morning, Mo Nighean Donn?” Jamie wrapped his arms around me as I was stood in the mirror shaking my wet curls from my shower.

 

“Hmmm, no..” I teased.

 

“Well, ye were....absolutely magnificent, so..Bonny..” he moved his hand from my waist and placed a finger on my shoulder following a trickle of water from my hair down my back, sending shivers down my spine.

 

“Mr Fraser, we have places to be, we have plenty of time tonight.” Much to my own displease. We had only a short time before the guests would arrive.

 

“Finnnne.” He whined like a baby and got himself ready.

 

-

 

“Claire?”

 

“Coming!!”

 

“Hurry up, mo leannan.” Jamie responded shuffling his feet.

 

I came down the stairs and Jamie’s head turned to face me. His face nearly fell to the floor as he took every inch of me in.

 

“Christ, it’s only dinner!” He exclaimed.

 

“Oh? Do you not like it?” I said, disappointment written all over my face.

 

“Sasseanch, ye look incredible. Damn you are so fine,” he winked at me playfully and I laughed at his yet again awful attempt of winking.

 

“Thank you. It’s not too mutton dressed as lamb, is it?” I frowned, looking down at my knee length navy cocktail dress, it had a slight slit in the middle as to show a small amount of cleavage, not too much. I wore white heels and a white bag to match.

 

“No, Never.” He reassured me, swiping his thumb across my cheek.

 

“Cabs here..” he said, grabbing ahold of my hand and leading me out of the front door.

 

 

 

We pulled up outside the convention room Gellie had let for the night. I payed the cab driver, much to Jamie’s annoyance he always insisted on paying but as I told him it was his birthday and he wouldn’t be paying for anything.

 

“Where’s the restaurant, Sassenach?” Jamie’s face scrunched in confusion as I led him up the steps of the club.

 

“We aren’t going to a restaurant.” I said smirking at him and opening the door to let him in, he shot me a glare that could only be described as ‘what the fuck?’

 

As he stepped inside, the roar of the guests filled our ears. “Happy birthday, Jamie!!” Everyone clapped.

 

Jamie’s eyes darted to me and I smiled at him and nodded towards his guests as if to say, well greet them.

 

He did just that and made his way to his friends and family.

 

I found my way to the bar and saw G talking with a bunch of people, I waved my hand signalling her to come over.

 

“Alright, lass?”

 

“G!! This is amazing, how did you do it all? And you even got Murtagh and Jenny here!” I almost shrieked in amazement.

 

“Aye, they were no’ gon’ miss their wee Jamie’s birthday!” She smiled, turning to the bar tender and ordering two gins.

 

“I’m so grateful, G. Truly. Thank you.” Is took a big drink from my gin.

 

 

 

I walked over to Jamie who was stood with Jenny, Murtagh and a middle aged woman I hadn’t seen before.

Jamie noticed me coming and held his hand out for me to take, I did and stood next to him amongst his family.

 

“There she is!” Jenny smiled nearly knocking me over with a bear hug. I was slightly taken aback with her affection. “Ye’ve done well lass.” Smiling at me and squeezing my arm slightly.

 

“Oh, it wasn’t me, really. It was Gellie and Dougal.” I smiled and my gaze caught the woman that was stood in between Jenny and Murtagh, Jamie must’ve noticed my confusion and piped up.

 

“Oh, Sassenach, this is my Aunt Jocasta! Sister of my mother and Dougal.” He smiled at me, I held my hand out and the woman took it and shook. “Pleasure, dear.”

 

“The pleasures mine, my name is Claire.” I was still holding onto this woman’s hand and she was grinning at me every so sweetly.

 

“Ye seem to be doing well by my lad, my wee sister would approve.” Jocasta said and pulled me into her for a hug, I wasn’t quite expecting it, but I kindly hugged her In return.

 

“Thank you.” after I pulled away I turned to look at Jenny who was cradling her ever growing bump.

 

“How long now, Jen?” I smiled placing my hand on her belly and stroking lightly.

 

“3 months left. Ian and I found out the Sex.”

 

“Aye? And?” Jamie was beaming.

 

“Ti’s a girl.” She was so happy and I could see the tears pooling in her eyes.

 

I was envious, truthfully, I wanted all that, with Jamie. But I knew that day would never come and it broke my heart. I hadn’t even told Jamie about my fertility situation, I never thought it important but I suppose, if I’m feeling this way, maybe he would be feeling the same. I didn’t want to break his heart by telling him I could never give him children as Bonny as wee Jamie and Rabbie.

 

“Christ, a girl? I canna wait to meet the lass.”

 

“Aye, we are naming her Ellen, after Ma, I hope ye dinna mind, brother.”

 

“Oh, Janet. That is wonderful. I am so proud of ye.” He pulled his sister to him and kissed her head.

 

If I wasn’t crying before, I definitely was now.

 

“Claire, what is it?” He looked down at me with softness in his eyes.

 

“Oh! They’re happy tears. I promise, I’m so happy for you, Jenny.” I reassured by squeezing her forearm.

 

 

 

 

 

Later on, we had all had quite a few drinks and a lot of food. We’d sang happy birthday and I had gotten Jamie a cake in the shape of a football, he thought it rather amusing.

 

There was a dance floor in the club that had disco lights above. We’d all had a little boogie and laughed at our awful dancing, when a slow song came on and Jamie took me by my hand, pulling me into him. Arms wrapped around me tight, nose brushing against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began swaying my hips back and forth; Jamie joined.

 

“Have you had a nice day?” I smiled rubbing my forehead against his.

 

“Oh Aye, the best. Thank ye, for making it special.”

 

“I didn’t do anything.” I laughed.

 

“Yer here, wi’ me. I am so lucky to be here wi’ ye.” He was tracing his fingertips at the base of my spine.

 

“Jamie...” I said looking at him in complete awe.

 

“I mean it Sassenach. Ye’ve made my life whole.”

 

How could I ever love him anymore than I did in that moment? A man, giving me his everything. Oh how I dreaded having to talk to him about our future family possibly never being able to extend.

Chapter Text

 

I paced back and forth of the bathroom biting down on my lip with my arms folded, throwing my head back in anxiety and dread.

Huffing and puffing.

 

“Christ, calm will ye.” Gellie was stood in the door way leaning against the frame, hand on her hip.

 

“I can’t. I have to keep moving until it’s time. How long left?” I said, now going round in circles.

 

“Another 60 seconds, love.”

 

“Jesus H, this has been the longest two minutes of my life.” I sighed bringing my palm to my forehead and lightly smacking myself.

 

“Just relax, Claire. what will be, will be.”

 

I shot Gellie a ‘Please shut the fuck up’ kind of look.

 

What will I do? Seriously? If that test shows two lines then I am fucked, well untruly, fucked. I mean, for me, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I didn’t even think it was possible to have children after me and Frank trying for 8 months. We never sought any fertility treatment or doctors because I thought there was no point breaking my own heart with the inevitable. But now I’m here, possibly pregnant after thinking I would never bare my own children or be the mother i wanted to be and I really didn’t know how to feel. I was more scared for Jamie, he had only just turned thirty still studying to get his nursing degree and we had only been in a relationship for 6-7 months. I love him, of course but this was all too soon even for us.

 

“Geillis, I can’t look.” I said covering my eyes with my hand and passing the stick over to my best fiend.

 

“Ye can piss off if ye think I’m touching ye pissy stick.” She scoffed, oh she was so full of sympathy.

 

“Fine!” I snapped, pulling my hand away from my eyes and looking down at the white and blue stick in my hand.

 

Heart thumping in my chest as I looked at the one red line. I sighed. I sighed like I’ve never sighed before, the relief washed over me and I realised there and then I wasn’t ready to make a commitment like that any time soon.

 

“Weeeeeeel?” G threw her arms in the air in anticipation.

 

“Negative.”

 

“Ochhh, lass, that’s good is it no’?” She walked over to me and put her hands on my shoulder, I was still staring down at the little singular red line.

 

“Yes. I’m relieved but also sad because it’s another negative to add the the list. What will I tell Jamie?” I placed the stick on the back of the toilet and perched myself on the side of the bath.

 

“Tell him what ye will. He’s Jamie, he’ll understand, ken!?” She smiled rubbing my head.

 

“I don’t think I should, Gellie. It’s not that I want to keep anything from him, I never want to lie to him but at the same time If I tell him about this, then I’ll have to tell him about the other stuff..with trying with Frank, and I’m just not ready to have that conversation and potentially loose him over not being able to give him a child.” My head began to thump with it all.

 

“Aye, I ken. I think ye doing the right thing, Claire. When ye do tell him, he’ll understand why ye could’na tell him right away. He’s a good lad and only wants what’s best for ye, darlin’” I always needed reassuring words from my best friend.

 

“You won’t tell Dougal, will you?” I looked at her with plead in my eyes.

 

“Ochhh, dinna fash. I never tell him anythin’ this is between me and you.” She bent and kissed my forehead.

 

“Thanks, G. For everything.” I smiled squeezing lightly on her hand.

 

 

 

 

I heard the front door unlock, open and then close again.

“Sassenach?” My heart fluttered when I heard his voice. I really hoped I didn’t have the guilt written all over my face.

 

“I’m here.” I shouted from the kitchen where I was making dinner. I didn’t turn around to look at Jamie when I heard his footsteps approaching, I stayed in the position, stirring the pasta on the stove.

 

I felt Jamie’s large arms wrap around me and hands rest on my lower abdomen as his head rested on my shoulder. “How was your day?” I smiled, not turning to look at him.

 

“Ughh! Boring, I’ve been in lectures all day, I dinna wanna hear a single thing about gall stones, ever again.”

 

I chuckled lightly at his frustration to nursing school, I felt the same once but it was worth all the boring hours of listening to the lecture.

 

“And you? Mo Chridhe.” He lent down to pick a piece of pasta up out of the pan and I swatted his hand off.

 

“Fine.” I said, shortly but sweetly.

 

“Just fine? What did ye do on yer day off?” He was still wrapped around me now nuzzling his nose in the back of my head.

 

“Just bits, cleaning, coffee with G.” I cleared my throat trying to swallow my anxious lump that was building.

 

“Oh Aye, how is she then?” Jamie pulled away and took himself to the refrigerator pulling two beers out and chucking one in my direction.

 

“Yeah she’s good.” I opened the beer and took a big drink.

 

“Are ye alright, Claire?” Jamie’s brows furrowed at my unusual behaviour.

 

“Yes. I’m fine, tired.” I lied.

 

“Okay..”

 

 

 

 

“I’ll put the dishes in the dish washer.” Jamie said clearing our plates away. I smiled and began making myself and Jamie a cup of tea to take up to bed with us. We always had a little routine of eating dinner together then going to bed with a cup of tea to read or just talk.

 

“I’m gonna take a shower, Sassenach!” Jamie walked over and pressed his lips to mine and smiling then squeezing my cheek.

 

I continued to lock up around the house and put thing back in their places like the couch throws and the remotes for the tv back on to  the side tables.

 

“Claire?” Jamie shouted from upstairs and I  ignored him thinking he could wait a second while I grabbed our cups of tea. But then he shouted again a little more firmer this time.

 

“Coming!” I responded dragging myself up stairs to see Jamie stood in the door way of the bathroom towel wrapped low around his waist. Holding....oh no, oh fuck.

 

My face dropped, my head pounded and my heart sunk.

 

“Care to explain?” He sighed, Holding the pregnancy stick in his hand.

Chapter Text

-

 

 

 

“Jamie…I can explain..” I trailed, squeezing back the tears that were surely soon to start spilling from my eyes.

“Aye, I think ye should…” he sighed and turned his back to switch the shower off before closing the bathroom door behind himself and lightly pushing past me towards our bedroom. I followed him behind with the sense of dread and anxiety running through my veins.

“So this is why ye being strange?” he quizzed, removing his towel leaving himself butt-naked. Unsure of how to look at him given the situation I turned my back while he pulled on his briefs. Huffing the entire time.

“Yes, but there’s a reason I didn't tell you, Jamie.”

“What could it possibly be? What good reason would ye have to keep somethin’ like this from me, Claire?” his face filled with sadness and betrayal, my heart throbbed at the sight of his distress.

“I didn’t want to, Really. I just didn’t think there was any point in saying anything since well, I’m not pregnant. I didn’t think it was worth worrying you over…” I took a seat on the edge of the bed, Jamie stood opposite me standing with his arms folded.

“What made ye think ye were pregnant?”

“Well...I’ve been tired and grouchy lately and my period hasn’t come yet, my cycles have been off for a few months. But then once the test said negative I realised I was stupid to think so in the first place.” My brows knitted together and Jamie shot me a confused look. It's now or never, Beauchamp.

“What do ye ken by such, eh?”

 

“Jamie I, I’m sorry...I should’ve told you sooner but I never thought we would fall in love, I never thought we would become what we are.” I could feel all the colour draining from my face as I psyched myself up to telling him of what had gone on with myself and Frank.

“Just spit it out,” he snapped. I knew he was losing his patience with me slightly and who was I to blame him? He had every right to be angry with me.

 

“It’s about Frank and I, Are you sure you want to hear?” I gulped and Jamie's face softened slightly and he slowly made his way to the bed and perched himself next to me. We didn’t look at each other, instead we both sat forward facing looking at the wall.

 

“I need t’ken, Claire.”

 

“Well, Alright. Around 6 months into my marriage to Frank, he became obsessed with the idea of having children and producing a family. He always said ‘we aren't getting any younger’ that was his motto. And I went along with it, He was my husband and I thought he was right. We already had our house, our marriage and the next step was children. So, we began trying and the first few negative responses didn’t phase me much. I just thought, we will get a positive next time. The positive never did come, after 8 months of trying to conceive we gave up and never spoke about it again. I didn’t seek medical advice or go for fertility tests because Frank completely shut the idea of it all, down.”

I took a deep breath and began picking at my fingers while staring at the wall. I was fighting with everything inside of me not to cry. So I carried on before I lost my nerve.

“I think that’s why he cheated on me, I was no use to him anymore. I was, am, half a woman. I don't blame him. I couldn't even give him a child…” I choked, Jamie's hand slowly moved to my knee and rested above slightly squeezing encouraging me to continue on.

“So that's why I couldn't tell you, Jamie. I couldn't bear to break your heart, just like I did with Frank. Only this time, it would be worse because I would shatter myself at your heart break, I love you too much to do that...so rather than telling you I thought I could have potentially been pregnant as soon as the thought came it was proven, again that I wasn't.” The tears were then fully falling down my face.

I looked up at Jamie through my soaked black lashes and saw a small singular tear trickling down his face, he looked down at me and scooped me up into his arms, pulling me to his lap and cradling me, ironically, like a baby. ‘Shhhing’ into my hair and stroking me as I cried, louder and louder.

“Shhh, Mo Ghraidh….Im sorry, Dinna weep, Nighean leanabh..Im here..” he cooed. I had no idea what he was saying with the gaelic words but I could hear the endearment and soothing in the words he used.

I wiped the snot and tears from my face and pulled back slightly looking up at Jamie's saddened face. “Do you hate me?” I croaked.

“Hate ye? Claire, ye wee fool, I could never hate ye. I love you, Mo chridhe. I will always love you, whether you can give me a bairn or no’.”

“But surely you would want to find someone that can secure your family by giving you children and you are still young..” he cut me short with a kiss to the lips ever so softly.

“I dinna want anyone else, Only you. And yer no exactly old, Sassenach. Two years older than me doesna make yer a granny.” he teased tapping the padding of his forefinger on the end of my nose.

“So you forgive me?” I swiped my thumb across the dimple upon his chin.

“Aye. I will always forgive you, Sassenach. In truth, I have forgiven ye long before today, for anything ye have done or ever could do.” his lips brushing against mine, I laced my fingers into his hair and pushed my mouth further onto his to deepen the kiss. Lazily swiping my tongue on his bottom lip for entrance. He obliged and lay me down still kissing me hard and pressing his body into mine. Once he’d pulled away he lay on his back and I rolled over to lean on his chest.

“So, Sassenach, what are we to do?” he sighed and traced his fingers over my cheek bone.

“I don't know, maybe seeing a doctor could be a start..'' I sighed and rested my chin on his strong solid abdomen.

“Aye, we’ll figure it out, Claire. Dinna fash, everything will be alright.” he whispered and pulled me up higher to him and embraced me tight, pressing light kisses in my hair and on my forehead.

We lay like that for what felt like hours, just in silence, holding each other. Exactly where we both belonged.

Chapter Text

“Jamie?” I shouted from the bedroom. “Aye?”

“Have you packed spare trousers?” I quizzed, going through his draws. “Sassenach, t’is only one night, ye ken?” he chuckled peering through the bedroom door.

“I ken!” I mocked his Scottish accent. “But, seriously! have you? You always need spares.” I sighed.

“Aye, pack what ye will for me, Sassenach. If it makes ye happy.” he smirked at me knowing full well it pleased me so. I couldn't help that I was organised and prepared. I am a nurse, afterall.

We were headed to Lallybroch for the night to look after Wee Jamie and Rabbie. Jenny and Ian had a night out together planned as Ian had returned home from working away for the past couple of months and they knew it would be their last chance to spend a night together alone before their baby came.

 

We pulled up to the house and Jenny was already waiting for our arrival. The two little boys huddled between her legs, she stood on the top of the steps leading up to the house.

“Uncle Jamie! Auntie Claire!” The boys came running towards us and wrapped themselves around our legs, I bent down and lifted Rabbie into my arms. “You are such a big boy now!!” I exclaimed and ruffled his head of brown curly hair.

“Alright, brother?” Jenny wadled towards us holding her bump.

“How are ye, Janet?” Jamie smiled and hugged his sister.
“Aye, I’ll be better when I get this wee bairn out,” she chuckled and hooked her arm around Jamies and led us into the house.

“Thank ye, for doing this.” Jenny smiled and un-hooked herself from Jamie, turning to me to give me a hug. Well, more like a squeeze.

“Oh, It's really no trouble. We love being with the boys.” I smiled looking over in their direction as they were showing Jamie their toy aeroplanes 'whooshh’ sounds coming from their mouths as they pretended to fly the plane in the air, giggling and chuckling at their uncle as he pretended to be shocked.

“The room is ready, same as last, ye ken.” She smiled and wandered off into the kitchen.

 

“Right, we willna be long, and dinna hesitate to call me if ye need, aye?” Jenny nodded between myself and Jamie.

“Don't worry yourselves, they will be fine. Have a wonderful night. Both of you.” I smiled at the couple.

“Thank ye, Jamie, Claire.” Ian smiled and nodded before grabbing a hold of his wife's waist and leading her out of the door. I stood silent for a moment watching as they walked away, Ian’s spare arm resting on Jennys bump. My heart swelled at the sight but also a slight pang of jealousy overcame me and I shook the thoughts from my head.

 

“1,2,3….ready or not!” wee Jamie shouted, removing his hands from his eyes and running off to look for his uncle.

“Uncle Jamie, where are you?” he cooed, looking around the living room for him.

“There ye are!!” wee Jamie threw his head back in laughter when he found his uncle curled in a ball hiding behind the sofa. “Achh, you got me, ye wee deeevil!” Jamie laughed and picked wee Jamie from under his feet and spun him around in the air.

Rabbie didn’t want to play, he had been clinging to me like glue since his mother and father went out.

“Rabbie, don't you want to play with your brother and uncle?” I smiled at the sweet little boy next to me, his head bowed and he shook it without talking.

“Are you alright, love?” I frowned, concerned for the child.

“No, I miss mama!” he cried.

“Oh sweetheart, it's okay. She has only gone out with your father for a couple of hours. Why don't you tell me your favourite game? Me and you can play?” I placed my hand on his shoulders but he shook his head again. “Do you like books, Rabbie?” I smiled. He nodded this time and I scooted closer to his side.

“Well, I could tell you a story, if you don't want to play?” I offered scooping him up, placing the little boy on my lap.

“I like Cinderella, could you tell me that?” he spoke, sadness in his eyes. My heart ached for the poor little soul, he didn't understand that his mother would return. I wondered if he’d ever been without her.

“Of course! I love Cinderella too!”

Rabbie remained on my lap as I continued to tell the story. “The clock struck midnight…'' I looked down and noticed he'd fallen asleep in my arms. I don't know why but I felt emotion wash over me as I saw the tiny sweet little boy curled up in my lap asleep, safe.

“Jamie?” I whispered, he was sat over by the fire with wee Jamie doing a jigsaw puzzle. His head snapped up when he heard me call him.

“He’s fallen asleep, will you carry him up to bed?”

“Aye,” Jamie scooped little Rabbie from my arms and cradled him, I thought Rabbie was small anyway but when he was in Jamie’s arms he practically looked like a newborn baby and my heart was completely filled with love at the very sight.

I got off the sofa and made my way over to wee Jamie.

“Are you tired too, love?” I knelt down next to him.

“Aye. Can I have a glass of milk before bed?” He looked up to me with wide and loving eyes. “Of course.”

 

-

Jamie and I went back to our room, we didn’t think it was necessary to wait up for the couple. I didn’t think they would have expected us to anyway.

“I felt so sad for little Rabbie earlier, he was missing his mother.” I sighed, unbuttoning my shirt. Jamie was on the opposite side of the room washing his face and starting to shave his stubbled chin in the mirror. “Aye, poor lad.”
I walked over and leant against the dresser staring down at him and he looked up at me with question in his eyes. “And what’re ye thinkin’ about, Sassenach?”

“Don’t shave your beard.” I practically demanded.

“Oh and why ever not?” He teased continuing to rub the shaving gel over his face.

“I like it…” I lent forward and put my finger underneath his chin. Slowly moving my face to his and brushing my nose against the coarse stubble.

“Ohhh, aye?”

“Hmmm..it's different. The way it feels against my skin..” I continued rubbing my face against his.

“Ahh, ye have very fine skin, Sassenach. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to ye all day, when I finally got ye alone, naked and willing.” He ran his finger down my jawline into the crevice of my neck and to my collar bone. “Oh? Well, I am willing...and as for being naked, well..” I stood up and began unbuttoning my pants.

Jamie grabbed my hand and looked at me with hunger in his eyes. “Don’t. That’s part of the plan..” he smirked.

“There’s a plan?” I chuckled and he grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me over his lap.

“Aye. I will take my hand in ye hair, twist ye so I have full access to yer pretty little neck and chest, then kiss ye.” He did as he said. He then scooped one arm under my legs and the other around my back and picked me up and carried me to the bed. He lay hovering over me and I bit my lip in anticipation.

He kissed me, soft and tender and I pushed him off and rolled on top of him.
He quickly removed my jeans and left me in only my underwear and blouse.

“Let’s see what we have here then.” He unbuttoned the rest of my shirt that I had began doing only 5 minutes before.

“Ahhh. That’s better.” He smirked and quickly unhooked my bra revealing my breasts. “I never tire of this sight.” He moaned gripping onto both breasts and kneading them gently, but still enough to turn me on.

I quickly fumbled with his briefs pushing them down his thighs to reveal he was very much ready for me. Darkness set in my eyes when I pushed down my knickers to sit upon his length. Sucking in breath he gripped onto my arse. “God, ye’ve the roundest arse I’ve ever seen.” I chuckled and moaned at the same time as he thrusted against me.

“That’s it, make those wee noises for me, Sassenach.”

“I have told you, I don’t make ‘wee’ noises.”

“Aye, ye do.”

-

 

After our passionate love making we both fell into a light sleep, cautious of the children down the hall. I smiled at the thought of them sleeping soundly. Jamie’s breathing became heavier which indicated he was already pretty much asleep. My eyes were closed but my mind was still very much awake.

 

“CLAIRE???” I heard a scream from downstairs and shot up out of bed, grabbing my robe as quickly as possible and rushing to the door, Jamie not far behind pulling his trouser on.

I ran down the stairs to Ian holding his arms around Jenny, water all over the floor. She was bent over holding onto Ian’s arms.

“Quick! Her waters have broken!!”

Chapter Text

I ran down the stairs over to Jenny and Ian, panic washed over both Ian and Jamie’s faces.

Jenny began panting and groaning and Ian rubbed her back, he looked as if he was going to pass out and that was the last thing I needed right now.

“Don’t worry, it’s ok. Listen to me, you have to call for the midwife now.” I turned to Ian giving him a reassuring nod. “Jamie, hot water and towels please, but first help me get her to the sofa.” I replaced Ian and wrapped myself around Jenny and guided her to the sofa, laying her down softly, she winced in pain.

“It’s alright, Jenny. I will be here until the midwife arrives alright?” I reassured her and she nodded at me.

“That’s if she’s not here quick enough,” she sighed between contractions. “Can I examine you?”

“Aye.” She lifted up her dress and I helped remove her knickers. Jamie and Ian both in the kitchen, probably panicking each other.

“This is going to be uncomfortable. I’m sorry.” I lightly spread her legs and pushed a finger inside to see how far she was dilated. Jenny winced at the entrance of my finger and squeezed her eyes shut.

I looked up at her with sympathy over my face.
“It’s okay, you’re 5cm. I can feel the crown of the baby's head. Don’t worry, I think we have enough time before the midwife comes.” I wasn’t even sure if I was reassuring Jenny or myself.

Jamie came running in with some hot water and towels that I had requested. I quickly grabbed a towel and lay it over her abdomen and it hung over her knees to cover her. “Ian or Jamie, get a cool cloth and pat her head.”

I sat with my hand on Jenny’s stomach and looked at my watch to time the contractions.

“Claire, she’s coming quickly!” I could hear the fear and anxiety in her voice, I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and grabbed her hand squeezing.

“Look at me.” I said. “Whether the midwife gets here or not, I will put your baby into your arms.” I smiled and Jenny returned a struggling smile, soon wincing again as another contraction came over her.

I wiped my hands on the towel and stood up. “Ian hold her hand and wipe her head. I’ll be back in a minute.” I smiled tapping his shoulder on my way past.

Jamie looked at me as I walked away and got up to follow me.

I walked into the bathroom and ran some water washing my hands and patting my face with the cool damp washcloth. “Are ye alright?” Jamie came from behind me.
“Me? Yes. Of course, it’s not me in labour.” I teased.

“Aye, I ken. But you are the one dealing with the bairns arrival.” He smiled and placed his arm around my waist. “Yes, I know. I’ll be fine, I have to be. I will get her through this, both of them.” I reassured. “I never doubted it for a second, Sassenach.” He lightly pressed his wet lips on mine. “So, how long?” Jamie frowned. “Honestly, I don’t know..she will start pushing soon, though.” I sighed. “I can’t leave her too long, let’s go back down.”

“Aye.”

 

After an hour or so of Jenny panting and wincing with every passing contraction, I was beginning to get concerned with how long it would be for the midwife to arrive.

“Ian, call the midwife again.” I sat down next to Jenny and wiped the sweat beads that were dripping down her face.

“Claire I’m so hot, please get me out of this dress.” Jenny sighed squirming.

I nodded to the men, asking them to leave. “Should I get your night dress?” I quizzed helping her to sit up slightly before going behind her and unzipping her dress. “No, just leave me in nothing and put a towel over me, if ye will?”

I nodded in agreement and undressed her.

“Can we come back?” Ian shouted.
“Yes.” I replied. “I’ve called the midwife. She’s stuck in traffic there’s been a collision on the main road and can’t say for certain how long she will be.” Ian said with worry in his eye.

“Never mind. She will get here, and until then, we’ll deal with it.” I honestly didn’t know where my confidence came from, but I guess when I’m thrown into unexpected circumstances, I turn professional and do my job.

 

“I need to push, now.” Jenny said through screams and pushed her bottom into the sofa.

“Okay, listen to your body, Jenny.” I said rubbing her thigh and then proceeding to open her legs again so I could see exactly where we were up to. The men stood at Jenny’s head, they couldn’t handle seeing things from my end.

“Jamie, steralsie some scissors and get me a blanket. This baby is coming, now.”

 

“That’s it, one last push. Don’t let it go, push as hard as you can.” I had my hand on the crown of the baby’s head ready to catch it. “You’ve got this, Jenny. This last push, make it your biggest and your baby will be here.”

And with that, Jenny pushed and screamed and a tiny baby girl fell into my arms, screaming at the top of her lungs. “Ian, cut the cord.” I smiled. “I canna.” He said, looking as if he was going to vomit.
I looked over at Jamie and he came to my side, picking up the scissors and lightly snapping the cord.

I wrapped the baby in a blanket and quickly put the child onto it’s mother’s chest. Jenny cooing and crying and Ian stood stroking his wife’s head.

“Congratulations, your Bonny little lass.” My smile couldn’t of been bigger, I felt so proud of Jenny, the tears dared to spill from my eyes.

“Thank ye Claire, thank ye so verra much.” Jenny was in floods of tears at this point cradling her newborn baby.

 

After I had helped deliver the after birth and get Jenny cleaned up as much as possible, I took myself back up to the bathroom to clean my arms and hands. Jamie came with me. “Well done, Sassenach.”
“Whatever for?” I smiled rubbing the soap up my arms removing the bloody and bodily fluid.
“For delivering wee Ellen.”
“Jenny did the work, Jamie.” I laughed at him. “Aye, I ken. But ye brought her here safely. We are indebted to ye, we will always be grateful.” My heart felt warm and I nodded at Jamie smiling.

 

The midwife finally arrived some time after and checked up on mother and baby. All was fine and she was grateful that I had been here to tend to them in her absence.

It was now 3.30am and we had helped Jenny settle upstairs in bed and I was also very ready to hit the sack myself. I was exhausted and filled with emotion.

I slipped out of my robe and remembered I was still naked underneath Jamie shot me a smirk and I could see the glisten in his eye. “Don’t even think about it.” I said wryly. “Me? I dinna ken what ye talkin’ bout, Sassenach.” He pulled the quilt covers back and climbed into the bed, patting the empty side next to him. “Hmmhm,” I smirked and joined him, curling myself up against his body and sighing.

“Thank ye again, Claire. I am so lucky to have ye.” He stroked my head and fingered my curls.

“That’s quite alright.” I mumbled in a state of over tiredness.

“Sassenach?”

“Hmmm?” I traced my fingertips across his broad chest.

“I think we should look into our fertility situation. I ken how ye feel, I saw it in ye eye, when ye passed Jenny the wean.”

“You’re right. I do want that, maybe not right now but I need to know if it’s a possibility or not.” The tears dared to prickle the corners of my eyes.

“Dinna be afraid. We will get through this, mo Chridhe.”

 

we fell into a deep sleep, curled up in each others arms.

Chapter Text

Jamie and I returned home from Lallybroch the next day, we had offered to stay with them and help out with the other children but Jenny and Ian were insistent on there not being any need. I was kind of glad about that truthfully because I had work and it would of looked really odd if both me and Jamie called in sick.

“You walk ahead, I'll give it a few minutes before I come in.” I said, slightly smirking. I felt like a teenager sneaking around. Jamie nodded at me and I quickly stood on my tip toes to peck his cheek. “Love you.” We both said and went our separate ways.

Once I got onto the ward, Jamie was sat at the desk face buried in the new admissions care plans. Gellie sat opposite typing away at her computer screen.

“Good morning, G. Mr. Fraser.” I nodded in his direction and his head snapped up, a small smirk written all over his face. “Aye! Same to ye, Nurse Beauchamp.” The way he said ‘nurse beauchamp’ sent a thrill throughout my veins.

 

“Christ, Mary, mother of Jesus!” Gellie exclaimed, throwing herself back in her seat. “What?” I said, slightly taken aback. “Ye no have t’ be so polite around me, ye ken?” She scoffed.
“I know, G! It’s only, you never know who’s listening..” I said, clearing my throat. “Aye.” She rolled her eyes and returned to the keyboard.
I shrugged my shoulders at Jamie and walked off into the locker room to put my coat and bags away.

I returned back to the nurses station holding two cups of coffee, I passed one over to each Jamie and Geillis.
“That’ll help keep us going.” I said turning back to retrieve my own.

“Right, updates from the night admission?” I quizzed, sipping the steaming hot coffee.

“Aye. Mrs Welch, age 75, Room 19 came in last night. She had fallen and broken her hip. She’s booked in for surgery at 11am. Mr Peters, 45 in room 10 has come in with a ruptured appendix, he had immediate surgery and is now in recovery.” Gellie explained, reading the handover sheet and squinting her eyes.

“And who’s with Jamie today?” I asked, completely ignoring the entirety of what G had just said. I knew it was wrong of me to be concerned with what nurse, Jamie had but I couldn’t help it. I wanted him to work with me, knowing full well it’s a completely ridiculous idea. “You. Annabelle isna workin’ today.” I sighed in relief and tried not to make my obvious smile not so obvious.

“Just you and me, Sassenach,” he winked at me.
I looked around to see who was around and then lightly brought my hand to his knee and swatted him. “Jamie!” I scolded. “What??” He said, shrugging his shoulders.
“You know what,” I teased.

 

“Okay well, let’s start off with checking room 19 and 10 and then we will go and check the obs in room 2 and I need to take their bloods.” I said to Jamie, but also took it as a mental note to remind myself.

Jamie nodded and stood to the side with his arm out as if to say ‘after you’ I smiled at him and walked past him our chests lightly brushing each other and I caught the smirk in his eye. I suddenly felt all hot and I was sure my face had turned a beautiful colour of scarlet.

I brushed it off and entered room 19.

 

We had finished up with room 10 & 19 and we were heading for room 2 for obs and to get some blood’s.
I entered the room and saw the elderly patient fast asleep. “Shh,” I put my forefinger on my lips and looked at Jamie and he nodded in response.
I pulled the obs machine in front of the bed and began taking them. Jamie stood in the corner of the room watching and writing down everything I was saying.

“73bpm” I said and Jamie nodded and wrote it down. “Temp, 36.2.”

“Okay, come over here and I will show you how to take blood correctly. She needs 3 samples today, so I will do the first on this arm and you can take from her other arm, Alright?” I said and pulled the trolley in front of me that contained bands for around the forearm, needle, tubes for the blood and cotton swabs.

Jamie was now standing beside me, our shoulders brushing as he watched my movements.

“First of all, you need to find a decent vein, otherwise they’ll just collapse and you won’t get anything out of them.” I said lightly pressing my fingertips over the vein in the woman’s arm to feel for the bounce. “If it’s bouncy, it’s usually good.” I said. “Here,” I grabbed his hand and replaced my hand with his on the woman’s arm, I wrapped my hand around his finger and guided him across the vein. “Feel?” I said.
“Aye, it does feel bouncy.” He lightly chuckled. We were still speaking pretty quietly so we didn’t wake up the patient. “Yes, now.” I said retrieving the yellow rubber band and hooking it under her forearm and tying a small knot. I pulled the cap off the top of the needle and lined it up with the vein.

“Put your hand over my wrist and feel as I push the needle in.” I said, swallowing and feeling the heat rise from my feet to chest. Not meaning to make it sexual but I couldn’t help the sudden appearance of butterflies in my stomach. Jamie grabbed onto my wrist and I slowly inserted the needle into the vein and attached a tube to the bottom of the needle which was soon filled with the blood samples.

Jamie took the trolley over to the opposite side of the bed and I stayed opposite to observe. He did everything as I had, prepping to find the vein and inserting the needle. I could see the sweat beads forming on his head. He was in deep concentration and I watched as his tongue swiped his bottom lip and his mouth hung open slightly. All I could see was his mouth and god it was distracting. I tried hard to focus on the task he was enduring but somehow couldn’t take my eyes from him. The way his arm muscles tensed as he retrieved the needle from the skin and replaced it with a cotton swab then a small rounded plaster. My heart was racing and I couldn’t think of anything other than him taking me there and then his strong arms lifting me by the thighs, spreading my legs and thrusting into me. “Claire?” My thoughts were broken.

“Are ye alright, ye look bewildered lass.” Jamie laughed. “Oh, yes. Fine. Well done, will you take them to be sent off please? I need to go and—“ I stopped talking and shrugged my shoulders. “I just need a minute.” I said walking backwards and nearly falling over the waste bin. Jamie’s face scrunched at my sudden strange behaviour, I laughed nervously and swiftly exited the room.

Christ.

-

 

I sighed as I caught the running tap water in my palms and wiped over my face. Looking at myself In the mirror above I shook my head at my lack of professionalism earlier. It was embarrassing, there was no reason for me to get so...well, hot. Under the circumstances, anyway. A light knock on the door startled me and took me from my thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Sassenach?” Oh shite. There he goes again with the endearments that drove my core crazy. “Come in,” Jamie popped his head around the frame of the door and smiled at me, I ushered him In and he obliged and slowly closed the door behind. “Are ye alright, Mo Chridhe?” He said, walking towards me.

“Yes, yes, quite.” I lied. Gulping away the lump in my throat as he now towered above me. “What was that back there then?” He quizzed, bringing his thumb to my bottom lip. Oh fuck. My eyes rolled back in my head and then met his gaze, I knew my eyes had said it all.

“You dinna usually get so wound up over blood..” He joked. I could control it any longer and I practically threw myself at him. Kissing him rough and pushing him back against the locker doors. He pulled away slightly startled. “Claire...we can’t—“ he began, I stopped him by putting my lips back onto his and fumbling with the waistband of his scrubs.
He pulled away and lunged forward so he wasn’t against the locker anymore. He pulled down my scrubs and turned me around so I was back to the lockers. Lifting me with his strong arms and thrusting into me, I nearly screamed but before I could even think of it Jamies mouth covered mine. I couldn’t even see clearly through the pleasure. I latched onto the flesh of his neck with my teeth, I suppose to keep myself quiet as he thumped into me, hard. Oh so, hard.

“Oh, Jamie.” I moaned into the hair behind his ear.

 

We lay on the floor of the locker room in each other’s arms for a while, not too long as now I could think straight I knew I had to return back, so did Jamie.

“Sorry for coming at you like a mad woman.” I chuckled. Jamie laughed too, I could feel the vibration through his chest. “Aye, a little. But dinna apologise, Sassenach. I liked it.” He teased lightly kissing the top of my nose. “So that’s what was up then?” He raised an eyebrow. I craned my neck to see his face properly.
“Well, yes..” I embarrassingly admitted. “I don’t know why, it just hit me.” I cringed slightly. “That's so hot, ye ken?” He rested his chin on my head. “Is it?” I said through furrowed brows. “Oh, Aye. Just wait till I get ye home. C’mon, we better go.”

Chapter Text

It was a warm Saturday morning in the middle of June, Jamie and I were lay together wrapped up in one another listening to the birds sing and watching the sun poke its way through the bedroom curtains. I turned to face him and I smiled up, through tired eyes.

“Mornin’ Sassenach,” he pulled me closer and placed a small kiss on my temple. “Good morning!” I responded and returned a kiss to his own head.

“We actually have a full day together.” I said, tracing my fingers across his bare abdomen. “Aye, that we do. And I dinna ken about ye, but I’m not moving from this bed.” he teased, grabbing onto my thigh and pulling my leg over his stomach. “Hmmh, that sounds so very tempting. but, why don’t we get out? Do something?” I suggested. “Did ye have something in mind, Saaenach?”

“Well, I thought maybe Dinner, then a movie?”
I wrapped my finger around a singular curl, pulling it and letting it bounce right back into shape.

“Aye, Sounds bonny, but...” he said and kissed me softly, I slightly pulled away and said, “But, what?” I kissed him in return and then he pulled back. “I’m no’ lettin’ ye leave this bed until ye’ve made yer wee noises for me.”
I chuckled and lightly swatted his chest. “Well then, best be getting on with it?”

He took no convincing and threw me onto my back, showering me with kisses on my face, neck, and chest. I let out a small squeal like noise when his teeth attached to my nipple. “Ahhh, there we go.” he smirked, as he began moving further and further down my body, burying himself exactly where I wanted and needed him.

 

~

“Where d’ye wanna go, then?” Jamie said climbing into the passenger seat. “Hmhmm, how about the italian place in town?” I started my engine.
“Aye, that works for me, Sassenach.” Jamile smiled and placed his hand on my thigh while I drove.

 

“Table for two please.” I said to the member of staff who had greeted us at the restaurant entrance. “Right this way,” she smiled sweetly at me. I returned the smile and followed her to our table. Jamie came behind me to pull my chair out for me, what a perfect gentleman, I thought to myself. I mouthed ‘thank you’ to him as he pulled the chair out opposite for himself.

“Can I get you a wine menu also?” The waitress enquired and looked between Jamie and me. Before I could say no Jamie nodded and thanked the young girl.

“I’m driving Jamie.” I reminded him and rolled my eyes. “Aye, one willna hurt, and anyway we can take it home and finish it in bed.” He teased and I gently kicked his leg under the table.

“I’ll have the Lasagne, please.” I passed my menu over to the waitress and she took it from my hand and turned to Jamie. “Aye, I’ll have the same.” He shrugged. I laughed at him and he looked at me as if to say ‘what?’

“Ridiculous human,” I rolled my eyes playfully.

*

“This is delicious, you can’t beat a proper Italian Lasagne.” I said, shovelling it into my mouth. “Christ, Sassenach, it’s like ye never ate before.” He joked.

“Well, I’m hungry, and it’s so good.” I shrugged, adding another forkful into my mouth.

I leant over to pick up a piece of garlic bread from the plate in front, and at the same time, Jamie did as well, our hands collided and we both laughed. I went to pull my hand back but Jamie grabbed onto me before I could, lacing his fingers in mine and smiling at me. “I feel so lucky to be here wi’ ye, Claire.”

My heart swelled and I looked at him with nothing but adoration and love. I was about to speak when a voice behind me shouted.
“Jamie?”

I released my hand from his and turned around, a tall, slim, blonde haired woman stood behind me beaming at Jamie.

“Laoghaire?” Jamie quizzed, next thing I knew she was running over to him and wrapping him into her, his head pushed into her bosom. I frowned in confusion at her sudden affection for my boyfriend.

“What’re ye doin’ here?” Jamie said, pulling out of her embrace.

“Weel, probably the same as ye, having dinner.” She joked and ruffled his hair like he was a puppy. I sat there feeling invisible the girl hadn’t even looked at me.

“Ah, Laoghaire! This is Claire, my girlfriend. Claire this is Laoghaire.” Jamie introduced us and I went to speak but she cut me off before I could, turning to face Jamie.

“Girlfriend? Ye never mentioned her in our recent conversations.”

What? Recent conversations? my head felt as if it was going to fall off.

“Weel, no, I dinna think it was yer business.” He said, softly.

“Not my business? Jamie? ye made me think we could possibly get back together?” Laoghaire looked as if she was about to burst into tears.

Back together? Back TOGETHER? I couldn’t speak. I just sat in silence trying to process the information.

“No! Why ever would ye think that?” Jamie said frowning up at her.

“Ye’ve been talking to me all the time on text and flirting!” She exclaimed.

Flirting? that was it I stood up, grabbed my bag from behind my chair and walked off.

“Claire!!!” Jamie shouted after me, at this point the entire restaurant was watching me as I left.

I felt dizzy and hot and I knew I needed to leave, as soon as the fresh air hit me I thought I was going to fall. I fumbled with my car keys trying to unlock it. I heard footsteps behind me and Jamie shouting my name. He approached the car and bent down holding his knees to catch his breath. “Sassenach, pl-“ I cut him off.

“Do not call me that! Don't you ever call me that again, do you hear me?!” I shouted and flung open my car door.

I wasn’t quick enough to start the car before Jamie jumped in beside me. “Get out,” I said blankly.

“I’m not leavin’ ye.” he responded in a soft saddened tone.

I ignored him and started the engine, reversing back and quickly spinning off.

“I can explain, please.” Jamie begged. I ignored him.

“Will ye no’ even speak to me?” he said rubbing his thighs, which I knew he did when he was anxious and upset.

“And what do you want me to say?” I snapped.

“Will ye let me explain?”

“Go on.” I said.

“Laoghaire is part of my past, yes we did date for a while. But she doesna mean anythin’ t’me, Claire.” He sighed.

“Ha! That’s all well and good isn’t it? But what about these texts?” I shook my head.

“I thought we were done wi’ being jealous Claire?” He said dryly.

That got me, then. I threw my palm against the steering wheel. “Jealous?” I laughed.
“Aye! Jealous!” His tone began getting higher.
“It’s not about jealousy.” I snapped. “It’s about the fact you’ve been in contact with your ex girlfriend, flirted with her and forgot to mention that you were in a new relationship!!” I could feel the ball of anger rising in my stomach.

“I dinna flirt with her! Christ Claire, can ye no see I love you? I canna take it anymore if I always have to prove it?” He shouted, fists and jaw clenched.

“And what the HELL is that supposed to mean?” I screamed back at him.

 

The next thing I knew, everything had gone into slow motion, the car spinning, the windows smashing and the sound of metal on metal crashing.

Chapter Text

 

 

 

I slowly woke to consciousness and the fuss that was around me, flashing lights and the sound of sirens ringing in my ears. my head throbbed and my back hurt. I realised I was laying over my steering wheel and my cheek was pressed to my dashboard. Panic washed over me when I realised what was going on. I heard the muffled sounds of people talking outside of the car.   

 

“We need to get the passenger out.” 

 

It hit me, then.

 

Jamie. 

 

I tried my hardest to lift my head and look over at him but I couldn’t bring myself to move, I felt trapped. “Jamie?” My voice came out almost as a squeak, my throat was dry causing my voice to be raspy and quiet. 

 

Soon enough, the car door on Jamie’s side was pried open with what looked like some sort of crow bar. “Hello sir, can you hear me?” A voice said. “Can you tell me your name?”

 

There was no response from Jamie. So I managed to croak. “Jamie Fraser.” The man looked over at me and nodded. 

“We need to get him on a stretcher,” he said, a few other crew members ran over and helped to remove Jamie from the car and lifted him onto the stretcher. “Don’t worry, love, we are coming for you now.” I couldn’t really respond, I just closed my eyes and I prayed this was all a horrible dream and I would wake up soon, I had to wake up and be at home with Jamie. This wasn’t real. “”It’s not real.” I repeated quietly to myself. I was taken from my thoughts when the same man approached me.

 

“What’s your name?” The paramedic said kneeling at the side of me, my car door open. “C..Claire.” I managed to say, shakily. 

 

“My name is Joe. Do you think you can walk, Claire?” He looked up at me with a concerned look. 

 

“I...I...don’t know...I..uh, Jamie??” I muttered. 

 

“He is being treated in the ambulance, I can take you to him if you can try and walk for me? Don’t try to stand too quickly or you’ll become dizzy and lightheaded.” Joe said. 

 

I nodded and placed my hands either side of the car and pulled myself up, my knees buckling slightly. I was freezing cold, like I was standing in the middle of a rushing river in the middle of the winter, despite it being a warm June evening. I was shivering so hard my teeth began to chatter. Joe the paramedic, wrapped me up in a hospital blanket. Lazily dangling it over my shoulders and I looked over at him a small smile in thanks. 

 

Joe lightly placed his arm around my back and guided me towards the ambulance. As we approached the back of the vehicle my heart began to beat, so fast against my chest. 

I saw Jamie laying flat with tubes coming out of him left, right and centre. “Oh god..” I whispered and began to cry. “We need to check you over, Claire.” Joe said, as we approached the ambulance door. “I’m fine, I need to go to him..” I said trying to push myself up into the ambulance. “You aren’t fine, Claire. You’ve been in a terrible accident and I have to check you, you could’ve hit your head and have a concussion.” He sighed wrapping his hand around my arm and hoisting me into the back of the ambulance. 

 

“Yes, I am aware, I’m a nurse. But I’m fine.” I said firmly and I then tried to run to Jamie, my legs giving way from underneath me but I managed to catch myself before I fell. I leaned down next to him. He had blood all over his face, I could barely see his beautiful features amongst the red stains. The sight of him tore me apart. His nose and mouth dripping with blood and his head with a huge gash from hairline to eyebrow, I could almost see his skull.

I gasped and placed my hand lightly on his cheek. “Oh, Jamie..” I cried. 

 

“Mrs Fraser, please.” Joe said, from the opposite end of the ambulance. “What?” My head snapped up towards Joe. 

“What did you call me?” I gulped. “Mrs Fraser? You’re Jamie’s wife, right?” He looked at me with a puzzled look over his face. “Uh..no, I’m his girlfriend. Claire Beauchamp.” I shook my head and turned back to Jamie. 

 

“Well, Ms Beauchamp, please allow me to look at you.” He said softly, touching my arm. I shook my head at his damn persistence. 

but I admired his thoroughness. 

 

They always say nurses and doctors make the worst patients. 

 

“Alright, but can we at least get him to the hospital first?” I said, Joe nodded and jumped out of the back of the ambulance closing the doors and heading into the driver's seat where he started the engine and blue lighted us to the hospital. 

 

I knelt down next to Jamie. I picked his hand up and placed it between mine, pressing my lips over the back of his hand and his fingers. “Please don’t leave me.” I sobbed. My tears fell onto his face, trailing down his neck and settling in the crook of his collar bone. 

 

“You can’t die on me, I won’t allow it.” 



“Please, Ms Beauchamp! Let the doctors do their work and they will look after him. You must stay here and let me check over you.” Joe said looking at me very sympathetically. I nodded in agreement and followed him into the side triage room. 

 

“The police will want to speak with you soon, Claire. Jamie too, when he’s well enough,” Joe said, shining the small light in my eyes to check my pupils. “Headache?” 

 

“Yes, but I think it's just because of the impact.” I said rubbing my temple. I had a small bruise on my head and a slight cut on my eyebrow but nothing compared to Jamie’s injuries. 

 

“Ok, I need you to monitor your headaches. If you get dizzy or start seeing little black spots you must—” I cut him short. “I know, Joe. Thank you. I need to get to Jamie.” I said, jumping down off of the hospital bed. 

 

“Wait, where’s my phone and bag?” I said looking around confused and feeling my pockets. “It was all smashed up with the car, I’m afraid.” Joe said. “Do you need us to call anyone?” He smiled sweetly at me and ushered me out of the room.

 

“No, well yes, but I need to do it. Can I use the phone?” I cleared my throat and then Joe took me to the reception and leaned over the desk to pass me the phone. I thanked him and took the phone from him, I began dialling the only number I knew of by heart, Geillie. 

 

“Hello?” She answered, confused at the number.

 

“G, it’s me.” I said. 

 

“Claire, what the devil?” 

 

“There’s been an accident...my car...Jamie, uh, I’m at the hospital, can you come please?” I said, struggling not to burst into tears again. “I’m on my way.”



*

 

“Oh love!” G said, running towards me and I let her wrap me up in her arms,  she squeezed me tight to her body and I let out my sobs. 

She stroked my head tentatively “shhh’ing” 

“Where is he now?” G said, pulling me away slightly so she could look down at me. 

 

“They’ve taken him down to have tests and scans. He’s not awake. Geillis I’m so scared.” I cried. 

 

“Shhh, now, lassie, ye ken he’s a strong one.” She rubbed my back in reassurance. I pulled myself out of Geillis grip and tried to compose myself, rubbing my nose on the back of my sleeve.

 

“I need to call Jenny and tell her, but my phone was smashed and I don’t have any way of contacting her without going to Lallybroch and I can’t leave him.” I said, getting myself out of breath, fear of crying, again.

 

G took my hand and led me to the chairs in the waiting area, sitting me down next to her. “Listen, calm. It’s all going to be alright. Dinna fash, I’ll call Dougal and ask him to make a drive there, Hmm?” She suggested and I nodded thanking her. 

 

We sat in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity. I sat restless in the chair, my arms crossed around my body and my feet tapping against the floor nervously.  



“Are you Claire Beauchamp”? The doctor approached me with his clipboard and I nodded rising to my feet. “Jamie! Is he ok?” I pressed. The old doctor looked down at me through his glasses, his lips pressed together and my heart pounded against my chest at what he was about to say. 

 

“He’s stable. He’s suffered a really bad head injury from the impact of the car crashing into his side of the vehicle. He’s in a coma, it’s uncertain when he will wake, he’s currently on a lot of machines to keep him breathing.” The doctor sighed looking at me with sorrow and I thought I was going to pass out right before his eyes. 

 

“Will he...he...Jamie, die?” My lip trembled and if it wasn’t for Gellie holding me up I would’ve been on the floor already.

 

“I cannot answer that. Ms Beauchamp, all I can say is, the next 24hrs are crucial.” He tapped my forearm and gave me a pitiful look and walked away. 

 

“Crucial…” I repeated and this time I did fall to my knees. Crying, screaming and screeching. 

Clutching onto my body as I cried. 

 

How could I lose him?

 

Chapter Text

I sat on the floor of the hospital waiting area, my knees brought to my chest and my chin resting on the top of my knee, I was staring at the floor listening to the clock ticking on the wall, concentrating as each tick went by.

How long would I be sitting here waiting for him to wake? Waiting to see the outcome of the injuries. I couldn’t fathom the thought of what it might be.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Jenny came rushing through the hospital. “Claire?” I pushed myself up against the wall and pulled myself to my feet.

“What in the devil is goin’ on!?” She exclaimed, rushing to my side. “Where’s Jamie?”

I shook my head. “He’s being looked at, he’s in a coma.” was all I could say. My tears spilled out of my eyes again as I watched his sister's face fall to the floor and tears of her own began to flow. “Whh….at?” She mumbled. I opened my mouth to speak but Gellie took over for me. “There was an accident,” G began.

“I kent that, Dougal told me, but how, what, why?” Jenny said, shaking her head in confusion.

Geillis looked over at me and I piped up then. “I don’t know, Jenny. The car just came out of nowhere and right into us, it all happened so quickly. One minute we were talking..well, arguing and then..-“ I explained but as soon as I did Jenny cut me short. “Arguing?” she quizzed and I nodded my head at her in response, feeling completely ashamed of myself.

“Wait, hold up. Ye were arguin? So, this is yer fault, ye were’na concentrating on the road?” The tone in Jenny’s voice changed, I could tell she was getting angry.

“I..I..Jenny, I don’t know. It all happened so fast, I haven’t spoken to the police yet to see if they’ve found out who caused it. But yes, it could’ve been me. And if so, then it’s completely my fault for not seeing what I was doing, blinded by rage..” I sniffled.

“Blinded by rage? Is that all ye have to say? Ye could’ve killed my brother!!!” She was now raising her voice and walking towards me. “Jenny, please.” I begged. “And what was this argument about?” She spat, folding her arms across her chest and sitting herself down on the chair.

“Laoghaire.” I mumbled. “Laoghaire? Why ever?” She said. “I had found out that Jamie had been back in contact with her and she said that he had given her signs that they wanted to get back together..” I shrugged. “Oh by Christ! and ye believed her?” Jenny scoffed and rolled her eyes at me.

“What do you expect my reaction to be, hmm? How am I supposed to know! I was told my boyfriend had been texting his ex and she was under the impression they were going to get back together! I was humiliated and belittled, I told Jamie not to follow me!” I started to get frustrated and the tone of my voice turned a little sour.

“Weeeel, ye ken fine well he would’ve followed ye!! He followed ye like a wee puppy from the moment he saw ye, ye have him wrapped around yer finger and ye ken it!!” she spat and the blood in my body began to boil as I began to get more and more angry.

“I love him.” was the only thing I could think to say. I slapped my hands against my legs in frustration.

“And he loves ye, Claire! Ye really think he could ever do anything that would jeopardise that? ye clearly dinna ken my brother then,” Her voice softening slightly but It was still very much angry.

“Why do you think I was so shocked, hm? I didn’t know what to think of it! We didn’t have time to go into detail before...the crash.” I admitted. “And what did ye ken, then?”

“I told you! He had said he’d be texting with her but he didn’t think to tell her about me.”

“Ye ken Laoghaire is a troubled girl?” Jenny said.

“No...I didn’t even know anything about her until that moment,” I sighed. “She’s a wee trouble maker, that one. Always had eyes for our Jamie. We’ve kent her and her family for years. Her mother died recently and I think she has gotten worse for it,”

“So what’re you saying, Jenny?”

“Weeeel, is it no’ possible Jamie could’ve just been trying to be supportive to her as a friend, since her mother died? I ken Laoghaire, she would twist Jamie’s words, she would use whatever she could to get her hands on him.” Jenny shook her head and I stayed silent.

I never even thought of it like that. All I saw was red, and well, given the trouble I had with Frank I suppose it was my automatic presumption that Jamie had done me dirty, but now, how could he ever? He loves me, and I’ve always known that. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him and I know that he feels the same.

God I could kill this ‘Laoghaire’ for what she’s caused.

The anger was written all over my face and Geillis could tell. “Don't bottle it up, lass.” G said, coming and sitting besides me on the opposite side of the room to Jenny. “That bitch! I swear to god if I ever get my hands on her…-“ I was stopped mid sentence when the doctor approached us in the waiting room. “Ms Beauchamp?” He called and I ran over to him. “Yes?” I gulped. “Mr Fraser is now in the recovery room if you would like to go and see him. I would ask, only two at a time please.” He smiled and I nodded. I looked over at Geillis and she ushered me to go as if to say ‘don’t worry about me’ I whispered a ‘thank you.’ And then turned on my heel to the recovery unit.

 

-

 

“Oh, brother..” Jenny said, placing her hand over Jamie’s. He had tubes in his mouth and his head was swollen from the impact of his head injury. His eye lids were all puffy and red.

My heart was broken.

I stayed quiet in the hospital chair next to Jamie’s bed while Jenny stood over her brother crying and stroking him wherever she could. She was talking to him about the children and how they couldn’t wait for uncle Jamie to get better so they could play airplanes and dinosaurs with him. She told him of wee Ellen and how Bonny she was becoming. I stayed silent and allowed her to be with her brother. I knew she couldn’t stay for long because she had to return to feed Ellen.
Jenny went quiet for a moment and picked up Jamie’s hand rubbing the back of it carefully not to knock the cannula he had in.

“Claire….I’m sorry.” Jenny’s eye didn’t meet mine; she stayed looking down at hers and Jamie’s joined hands.
“What do you mean?” I said, clearing my throat.
“The way I went at ye, I kent ye’d never hurt Jamie, I was angry and looking for someone to blame.” She sighed.

“It’s alright. I blame myself too, you know? I love him and I was hurt and angry but I know he would never do anything to ruin our relationship, I should’ve known better than that..” I offered her a small smile and she returned one to me.

 

*

Jenny had gone back home to the children but promised to return first thing tomorrow, I reassured her not to worry that now I had her number I could call her if anything changes. I would be here for the foreseeable after all.

I was leaning over Jamie and stroking the stray curls smiling softly down at him. “Finally I’ve got you alone.” I chuckled to myself. “I’m so sorry Jamie, none of this was supposed to happen. I just need you to wake up for me and tell me how silly I am for thinking you would betray me, tell me I’m ridiculous, tell me you’ll love me forever.” The tears began flowing, again.

There was a slight creak in the door and I turned my head to see Geillis stood waiting for permission to enter, I smiled and waved my hand at her to come in.
“Are ye alright, love?” G said walking over to the opposite side of Jamie. “Me or him?” I half giggled.

“Aye, both!”

“I’ll be alright, as soon as he wakes up. I’ll be watching him every second until he does.” I sighed, twirling a copper curl around my finger. “Claire, I ken ye dinna wanna leave him, but ye need some rest, food and a shower!” She chucked. “I’ll stay wi’ him.”

“No, honestly, I’m fine.” I shook my head, there wasn’t a chance I would leave his side, not ever again.

“Yer no good to him tired, hungry and smelly! It willna hurt ye to sort ye self out and come right back again.” She tried to convince me and I knew she was right in a way but not yet. “Maybe later.”

There was another knock on the door and two police Sergeants entered. “Claire Beuchamp?” One of the tall police men said. “Yes?” I responded, standing upright and facing them. “We need to ask you some questions about the accident, if that’s alright?” He smiled sweetly at me. My palms instantly became sweaty and my heart raced, I nodded.

Chapter Text

 

-

 

 

 

 

“I am Officer Jackson, this is my colleague Officer Jacob.” The policeman extended his hand for me to shake, I politely took my hand in his and shook.

 

“Ms Beauchamp, what can you tell us about the accident?” Officer Jackson took out his notepad from his jacket and clicked his pen ready. 

 

“Well, it all happened so quickly if I’m honest, I was driving down the road I was going straight ahead and I hadn’t been speeding, the traffic was pretty clear for the most part and then the next thing I knew we had crashed, I don’t know where the car came from.” I admitted, shakily rubbing my hands on my knees. 

 

“Thank you, Ms Beauchamp. You weren’t speeding and we had no reason to believe that you were under the influence of alcohol.” Jackson nodded as he continued writing down. “It’s Claire, please.” I smiled and he looked up and smiled back. 

 

“Well, I can tell you we have found the cause of the crash. It was the fault of the other driver, I’m afraid. They ran the stop light and caused the collision as you were driving past, they turned the corner too fast whilst they were also speeding. I’m very sorry about this, Claire. We are doing all we can to get justice for your husband, the driver was also quite injured and is currently being treated. We will keep you up to date with information about the case.”

 

It took me a second to take in the information and I didn’t even correct him when he referred to Jamie as my husband. I sighed and smiled at the two officers. “Thank you for telling me.” 

 

“It’s our duty and pleasure, Madame. We will also need to interview and ask your husband questions when he awakens, but that’s all we can do for now. We wish him a speedy recovery.”  Again, I just smiled and then followed them out of Jamie’s hospital room and thanked them on their way. 




“See lass, it’s all going to be alright.” G said when I returned back, she pulled me into her for a hug and I relaxed and sighed into her neck. “I’m so relieved that I didn’t cause this, Gellie.” I could feel the tears pricking my eyes. “Aye, I ken, love. Dinna fash, now please for the love o’ god go home for a bit.” 

I didn’t argue this time I just agreed. “Promise you’ll call if anything changes?” 

 

“Promise.” 



*



I stood in the shower and let the hot water caress my skin, I closed my eyes and stood with my back to the wall. I let the events of the past 24hrs sink in while I washed. I was so terribly scared, I didn’t know what was going to happen, the doctor had said we had gotten past the ‘crucial’ stage, but as Jamie was in a coma we wouldn’t know what state his mind would be 

in when he woke, and that scared me the most. 





After my shower I decided to blow dry my messy curly hair and pin it up in a loose bun, I threw on a lounge suit and decided to pack myself some essentials. I threw my hair brush, deodorant, toothbrush and paste and spare clothes in a small carry on bag, just so I could wash and change in the bathroom at the hospital. I wasn’t planning on leaving Jamie’s side more than what was necessary, I could sleep in the chair beside him. 




When I returned back to the hospital Geillis was sitting reading a magazine drinking a coffee at Jamie’s side. 




“Weeeeel, that wasna verra long, if ye ask me.” She joked. 

“Well I showered and brought some essentials!” I defended myself. “Aye, and what about sleep, hm!?” She nagged. “Hmm, I’ll sleep here with Jamie. I couldn’t sleep without him anyway.” I embarrassingly admitted and Geillis laughed. 





There was a knock on the door and I shouted ‘come in’ Joe the paramedic peered his head around the door smiling at me. “Joe!” I exclaimed.

 “Hello, Lady Jane, how is Mr Fraser?” 

 

“Lady Jane?” I quizzed furrowing my brow. “Just a pet name, because you’re all posh and an independent woman and all.” He chuckled. “Well, I suppose you're right. I’ll take it.” I joked back. “Jamie’s still the same, nobody knows how long it’ll take for him to wake, if ever.” a wave of sadness washed over me at the thought. 

 

“He seems like a strong one. And if he loves you as I can see you do him, he’ll be alright.” Joe said reassuringly. “I have to get back to duty, but I’m always around if you need anything, I can always bring a coffee up.” He smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Joe, I appreciate it and coffee sounds great, I’ll need it since I won’t be leaving these four walls without Jamie.” 

“I never doubted it, LJ,” he said on his way out of the room. 



-



I managed to fall asleep in the chair for a while but I woke to my neck being awfully stiff and my back aching in discomfort. One of the nurses came in to check on Jamie’s vitals and shot me a sympathetic look as I rubbed my neck and stretched my back. 

 

“That can’t be comfy.” She said. “No, it isn’t, but I’m not going anywhere.” I yawned. “I can see if I can get you a bed set up.” She smiled sweetly while taking Jamie’s temperature. “Oh there’s really no need.” 

“It’s not trouble, you’ll be more comfortable that way.” The young nurse smiled and finished up doing Jamie’s tests before heading out of the room and saying ‘I’ll be right back’ 



The nurse returned with a small set up bed, hospital blankets and pillows. “Get some rest.” She patted my shoulder. “Thank you…I’m sorry I didn’t get your name,” 

 

“It’s Mary.” 

 

“I’m Claire. Thank you, Mary.” I said in the middle of setting myself a bed next to Jamie. “You’re welcome, Claire.” She nodded and made her way out. 




After I had made my little bed up on the floor. I leaned over Jamie and planted a small light kiss to his lips, I then climbed into bed, I turned to face him and rested my hand over his even though it was terribly uncomfortable reaching up, I didn’t care. 

 

“Good night, my darling. I love you.” I whispered

 

 

Chapter Text

It had been 4 weeks since the car accident and there was still no sign of anything from Jamie. One day last week he had moved his hand and his eyelids flickered and we thought that he was coming about but it turned out not to be. I was sick to my stomach with disappointment and sadness. I had scarcely left the hospital or Jamie’s side in weeks, I think I went home all of 5 times just to shower and bring fresh clothes.

 

I knew that the nurses were fed up of having me there constantly but they were always polite and kind, offering me food and drinks and checking if I was comfortable enough. Jenny had visited every day, she brought the children once but wee Jamie and Rabbie were very upset by seeing their uncle Jamie in that way, Jenny had decided it would be best not bring them again at least until he had woken. When I had told Jenny about the car accident being the fault of the other driver she was overcome with guilt and must’ve apologised to me every day since. I had forgiven her for her outburst at me and I tried to reassure her it was okay but she still persisted on throwing apologies at me.

 

Joe had visited almost every day too, he always brought me a coffee when he came in to see Jamie and I. He had become somewhat of a friend in the past weeks. He had really been helping me get through it all. He was kind and caring and always made me laugh even when I wanted to cry so I had become very thankful for his friendship. Geillis visited as often as she could too, if she couldn’t visit she would call or text me to check in and had also been taking my laundry and washing it for me so I didn’t have to go home and leave Jamie.

 

I was sat on the edge of Jamie’s bed wiping his face down with warm water and soap, I had been doing this everyday, washing him and trying to trim his beard the best I could. It helped me feel connected to him in my own strange way.

There was a light tap on the door and I had shouted for whoever it was to come in. I turned around and nearly fell off the bed when I saw Frank standing in the doorway.

“Frank?” I said, standing up and walking toward him.

“Claire, I’m sorry for turning up unannounced but I had heard about your accident and wanted to check on you and give you my condolences.” He said.

“Condolences? He’s not dead, Frank. He will wake.” I said, confidently.

“Right, of course, sorry poor choice of words.” He shuffled on his feet. I didn’t say anything. I returned back to my spot on Jamie’s bed and continued wiping his face. “Claire I wanted to see if you were alright, I was worried sick about you when I heard.” Frank walked further into the room and took a seat on the chair, in front of me. “I’m fine Frank, I can’t say the same about Jamie.” I sighed. “You must be so worried, my darling.” Frank placed his hand on my knee and I looked down and then back up at him, he must’ve seen the look on my face and realised before quickly removing his hand. “Thank you for stating the obvious.” I mumbled, not meaning to be harsh or blunt with him but I could really do without his shit.

I cleared my throat and turned away from Jamie slightly to look at Frank. “What’re you doing here, really?” I knew he hadn’t come from the goodness of his heart, there must have been a reason, there had to be.

“To see you, of course.” He shook his head in confusion. “So there’s no ulterior motive? I find that hard to believe, sorry.” I said maybe a little too sharply.
“Listen, Frank, I’m sorry. I just need to focus on Jamie right now.” I sighed.

“You look deflated, love. You should rest and I’m sure your lover would agree.” My head snapped in his direction. “Lover? Oh please, get out Frank.” I snapped. “What?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “Well that’s what he is isn’t he? You’re fucking him but you are not not married.” Frank rolled his eyes.

“Christ, Frank! You’ve no idea, I’m more married to Jamie than I was to you.” I said. Frank chuckled. “Don't be silly, Claire. We were husband and wife.”

“Yes and look how that turned out, eh? I don’t need to be his wife to love him more than anything, you know? Plus I would be his wife in a heartbeat.”

“In a heartbeat?” He was still smirking and I wanted to slap the smirk right off his face.

“Yes. If he asked me, I wouldn’t even think twice.” I admitted. Frank's face dropped then when he realised I was being serious.

“Right. Well, I think I better leave.”

“I think you better had, yes. Thanks though, for your ‘condolences’!!” I said, sarcastically.

“I wish you all the best, Claire.” Frank said before shutting the door behind him.

 

I turned back to face Jamie. “God I wish you could’ve told him to fuck off, who does he think he is? Bloody busy body is all.” I scoffed. “Anyway, let’s get back to cleaning you up, hm?” I said, as if he would magically respond.

After I had finished up cleaning Jamie I had decided I would go to the bathroom and wash up, since Frank told me how dreadful I looked. I heard loud voices in the corridor and stopped in my tracks. “You can’t go in there!” Just as I approached the door it flung open and there she was.

 

Laoghaire.

 

I was shocked, I stood frozen as she came running in and Joe was behind her trying to stop her but he couldn’t. She ran over to Jamie sobbing and rubbing his head, the anger inside of me was nothing I had ever felt before.

“Get out. Get out right now, before I drag you out.” I said, simply.

“I’m no’ leaving him!” She spat.

“Oh, yes! Yes, you are.” I said, storming over to her. Just as I got to her, Joe lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “It’s not worth it, LJ.” He shook his head.

“Ma’am, I have to ask you to leave or I will have to contact the police, you aren’t allowed to be in here.” Joe said calmly.

“She’s here!” Laoghaire spat, waving her fingers at me.

“Claire is his family.” Joe said.

“So am I!!” She cried, leaning back over to Jamie. I felt sick at the sight of her near him, if I got any closer to her I would have dragged her out by her hair.

“You are nothing to Jamie, please leave.” I said, nicer than expected.

“He’s my Jamie! He always has been and always will be.” She snarled at me, I clenched my fists either side of me, my heart beating against my chest. I looked at Joe and he knew from my expression that if he didn’t get her out, I would.

“He is not yours, you silly little girl. Do you know how pathetic you sound?” I was getting more harsh now.

“If you do not leave now, I will have to call the police.” Joe intervened and Laoghaire pressed a kiss to Jamie’s cheek. That was it for me, I stormed past Joe and grabbed her arm, yanking her back.
“Get away from him you vicious bitch.” I spat as I dragged her back. “Get yer hands off me, ye filthy witch.” And with that, before I could stop myself or Joe, I slapped her across her face. She brought her hand to her cheek and cradled it.

“Claire!!” Joe exclaimed and I thought he was about to tell me off, when I looked at him he was rushing to Jamie.

I then realised his eyes were open and his fingers were wiggling. My heart leapt at the sight and I could’ve broken down and cried but I didn’t, I shoved Laoghaire out of the way and she stumbled back.

“Jamie!!! Can you hear me?” I said holding his cheek, his eyes met mine. Confusion was written all over his face and he looked somewhat scared. He tried to lift his hand up to his face to remove his oxygen. “I think he wants to speak, Joe!” I said, taking the mask down slightly so he could talk.

I heard him clearing his throat, “Where am I?” He croaked.
I began to cry just from hearing the sound of his husky dry voice. “It’s ok my love, you’re in the hospital.” I said beaming down at him. “Where is my Da?” He quizzed furrowing his brows. I was confused for a second.
Jamie looked up and me with confusion in his eyes.

“And who are you?”

Chapter Text

-

 

 

“Who are you?” Those three words would haunt me for the rest of my life. I stood motionless as the words came from his mouth. 

 

he didn’t know me

 

The tears were spilling in my eyes and I couldn’t speak, Laoghaire swiftly exited the room without a word, thankfully. Joe was standing on the opposite side of Jamie’s bed looking over at me, he had a sympathetic look on his face.



 “Hello, Mr Fraser. I’m Joe, I was the paramedic who brought you in after the accident. I’ll go and get the Doctor to see you, one moment.” Joe said, bringing me from my thoughts. Joe nodded at me and swiftly left the room. 

 

“Are ye alright, lass?” Jamie said, smiling at me sweetly. I nodded my head and sat myself down in the chair beside him. “What happened?” He asked, facing me. “Uh, we were in the car and another driver came out of nowhere and hit us.” I sniffled. “We?” His brows furrowed in confusion. 

 

“Do you really not know me, Jamie? It’s me, it’s Claire.” I sobbed, reaching out and placing my hand in his. 

 

“I’m sorry lass, I dinna ken anyone by the name of ‘Claire’.” Jamie looked at me apologetically and I  remained silent, crying. 

 

The door creaked open and the doctor came in with a smile on his face. “It’s so nice to see you awake, Mr Fraser. How are you feeling?” 

 

Jamie cleared his throat and pushed himself up against the back of the bed. “Achhh, I’m alright, just confused. I have a headache and I dinna ken what happened or where my family is.” He sighed. “Well, you have Ms Beauchamp here with you, and I am sure she will contact your family. I will have to run some tests, I will give you some time to come around first.”  The doctor patted Jamie’s arm and turned to leave, “Doctor.” I said stopping him in his tracks. “May I have a word, outside?” I cleared my throat and he nodded. 

 

I lightly closed the door behind me and turned to the doctor. “He doesn’t remember anything. He doesn’t even know who I am! He woke up asking for his Father.” I sighed, rubbing my temples. 

 

“Yes, well once we do the tests we can see exactly what’s going on, he may be suffering with amnesia, short term memory loss. If that’s the case, it could take weeks, months even for him to remember anything.” He looked at me with sympathy. “Ms Beauchamp, I urge you not to push him or give him too much information at once, it could make things worse. You have to give it time, I’m afraid.” I nodded and thanked him.

 

I hesitated before walking back into Jamie’s room, what could I say? Or do? I had no idea how to approach any of this. What if he didn’t want me there? What if he wanted me to go? I decided to leave it a few minutes and call Jenny before I went back in. 



-

 

“Do you want anything?” I asked Jamie when I went back into the room, Jamie shook his head in response. 

“How do I ken ye?” He asked, a puzzled look across his face. “I’m your girlfriend.” Jamie laughed at me almost as soon as I had said it. “I dinna have a girlfriend, lass.” He shook his head. “I do recognise ye, but I dinna ken were from.” He sighed. 

 

“Jamie we live together, we have been in a relationship for over 9 months. When the accident happened we had been out for the evening for dinner and we had an argument before we crashed.” I know the doctor told me not to bombard him with information but I didn’t know what else to do, he had questions that I needed to answer. 

 

“What were we arguing for?” 

 

“Well, it’s a long story we don’t need to go into detail because it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that you're awake and I’m here with you.” I said. 

 

“Aye,” Jamie nodded. “Where is my Da?” he asked.

 

“Jenny is on her way.” I smiled, ignoring the comment about his Father. “Ahhh, ye ken my sister?” He chuckled. 

“I do.” Just as I opened my mouth to speak again, Jenny came rushing in. 

 

“Brother!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around Jamie and kissing his copper hair. 

 

“Jen!! Yer here, thank god. I dinna have a clue what’s goin’ on.” He sighed and Jenny released him from her grip. “Aye, I ken. Dinna fash, has your Claire not filled ye in?” She laughed. 

 

“Aye she has, I still canna make sense of it. We have never known anyone called ‘Claire’ have we, Janet? I recognise her from somewhere, and she is bonny.” 

 

Jenny’s face fell to the floor as she registered what Jamie was saying, her head snapped in my direction and watched as the tears were falling down my cheeks. She gulped and was trying to hold back tears of her own. “Aye, of course! This is our Claire, yer girlfriend, no?” Jenny said, trying to make light of the situation. “That’s what she said too, I dinna ken I had a girlfriend.” Jamie said, brows furrowed. 

 

“Well, dinna fash, it doesna matter. Claire’s here wi’ ye as am I, the bairns will come up to visit soon too.” Jenny said, trying to change the subject. “Oh aye, the bairns, how are wee Jamie and Rabbie?” 

“They’re fine, brother. Do ye remember I had another baby, wee Ellen? T’was only a few months ago ye and Claire helped me deliver her, at home.” Jenny smiled. “No, I dinna remember. Congratulations on yer new wean.” Jamie smiled at his sister. “Jenny, where is  Da?” oh god, here we go again. I had stayed quiet and left this all in the hands of his sister because I wouldn’t and couldn’t be the one to tell him his father had died, to have him go through that grief all over again, I couldn’t bear it. 

 

“The doctor will be coming to do some tests soon, then we'll talk. Are ye alright if I talk wi’ Claire a moment, brother?” Jenny asked and Jamie nodded. 



“Oh Claire, I’m so, so sorry lass. I canna believe this. He’s asking for Da, how on earth am I going to tell him he’s dead?” Jenny sighed and started pacing the hospital corridors, before I could speak the doctors approached Jamie’s door and told us they would be going in to do the tests, I nodded and told them Jenny and I would be out here. 

 

“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” I shrugged and leant against the wall, throwing my head back. 

 

“Ye ken he was still cut up about Da even before the accident, how am I supposed to do that to him again? I dinna ken if he can take it, Claire.” 

 

“I know, but we can’t lie to him either. What else can we do? We can’t exactly pretend your Father is alive, that’s not fair to Jamie nor any of you.” I said, walking towards the coffee vending machine, pressing the buttons. “Coffee?” I said. “Aye, please.” Jenny responded now standing next to me. “I can’t believe he doesn’t know me, Jen.” I passed Jenny her coffee and then retrieved one for myself and began walking over to the nearest seat, throwing myself down and sipping the hot liquid. 

 

“I ken,” she sighed. 

 

“All that work we put into our relationship all these months, falling in love..He promised me he would marry me.” I began sobbing again and Jenny shuffled over to me and wrapped an arm around me. 

 

-

 

“All of your tests and scans have been done. We are waiting on the results of some of them. But what I can tell you Mr Fraser; you are suffering from short term memory loss, caused by the head injury you endured, I can’t say for certain when it will return or how much. All I can say is, you must take it day by day and sometimes only small pieces will come back to you. It’s a work in progress, I’m afraid.” The doctor said, Jamie didn’t really respond he just kind of nodded and looked between Jenny and I. We thanked the doctor and he left the room.

 

I sat myself down on the edge of Jamie’s bed. “How do you feel?” I offered him my hand and much to my surprise he took it and laced his fingers into mine. 

“I dinna ken. T’is a lot to process. So what ye tell me is true?” He said with a frown on his face. I caressed the back of his hand with the padding of my thumb and took a deep breath in before opening my mouth to speak. “Yes. But I understand it’s hard for you Jamie, if you don’t want me here then I will go, if that will help.” I gulped, squeezing my eyes shut hoping to god he didn’t want me to go. 

 

“No, I dinna want ye to leave, Sassenach.” He squeezed my hand tight and My head snapped up and I beamed at him. “What?” He said in confusion. “It’s just, you have always called me that, it’s nice to hear you say it again.” I said smiling like a wee fool.

 

Jamie turned to Jenny and wetted his lips to speak. “Are ye gonna tell me where our Da is, now?” He sighed. Jenny and I exchanged a glance, the look of dread was mutual between us.

 

“Listen, brother….I, I’m sorry. I dinna ken how to tell ye, but I ken I have t’, our Father is dead.” 

Jamie stared at his sister for a moment. I could see his mind working to process the information.

 “No, Janet. Yer wrong. He came t’ me, I saw him, he was here.” Jamie said, shaking his head at his sister, refusing to believe anything she was saying. 

“What do you mean?” I said, now I had a confused look on my face. 

 

“My Da!! He was here, ye ken! I’m no’ crazy! He told me to wake up, he said ‘ye canna lay there for the rest of ye life, son, yer a braw lad, my boy’ he told me I had t’return to those who love me, so I did.” Jamie looked at me with sadness all over his face, I gave him a reassuring look and then turned to Jenny who was now in floods of tears

Chapter Text

This chapter will be in Jamie’s POV. 

-

 

 

“Jamie! Wake up laddo!” I felt my shoulder being lightly shaken and I groaned while slowly opening my eyes. 

My Father, Brian was peering down at me and I sighed in relief at the very sight of him. “Da, what’s happening?” I asked. “Dinna fash my boy, yer alright. But ye need to wake soon.” He chuckled and I felt his hand graze my cheek. “Why am I here? Why are ye here?” I quizzed. 

 

“All will be explained, but for now, ye need to wake. Ye canna leave Janet and the Bairns, I need ye to look after them for me, Aye? And your bonny Claire, she’s right beside you holding on tight.” Da said. 

 

“Claire?” I asked, puzzled. “Aye, I ken ye dinna ken who she is right now, but ye will. She loves ye fiercely boy as do ye her, dinna let that one go. Ma thinks she’s the best thing t’ happen t’ ye.” 

 

“Ma?? Ye’ve seen her? How? Where is she?” I was so confused and I felt like my head was spinning.

 

“Aye lad.” He laughed. “Yer ma is here, she’s wi’ me always. She loves ye and she’s proud of ye, as am I. I have t’go now, James. But ye must promise me to wake up. I love ye, son.” I felt his lips brush against my cheek and I slowly closed my eyes. When I reopened them he was gone and it was dark. “Da?” I croaked and almost instantly fell back into unconsciousness.

 

I needed to wake up. 

 

-

 

I had been awake now for almost 24 hours Claire had not left my side the whole time I had been awake, save for going to get coffee or to use the bathroom. I couldn’t understand why she was fussing over me so much constantly asking if I was alright or if I needed anything. I was grateful for her support and kindness but I still didn’t ken the lass. 

 

I sat myself up and sighed rubbing my tired eyes. I couldn’t sleep, my mind was ticking away and trying to grasp any piece of information I could. All I remember was planning to go on holiday with the lads from college and that was it. I had no recollection of anything after that time, which was so frustrating and I didn’t even know how much time I had lost. Claire said we’d been in a relationship for nearly 9 months and I don’t remember anything about it, let alone what had happened beforehand. 

 

I looked over at her tiny body curled up on the floor in what looked like a little cot, I smiled at the sight of her. 

Her small frame wrapped up in a blanket, her curly brown hair loose over her pillow and the light sound of her breathing. It was soothing. 

 

She was bonny, so very bonny. But I couldn’t understand any of this. She looked at me with love, I could see that. But I didn’t know how to take it, I felt something towards her but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I felt like I knew her, but how? Maybe it was because she’s been so kind and helpful over the past 24hrs. 

 

How does one react to a relationship I had no idea about? Am I supposed to act like a boyfriend? How could I when I knew nothing of her, or what we had been through or the ‘love’ we had apparently shared. I hoped and prayed it would come back to me because looking down at her tiny little delicate body and her flawless face made me want to know everything about her. 

 

If I had loved her, like I have been told. I wanted to fall in love with her again. I guess I would just have to let it be. and if my memories don’t return, we will have to start again and I hope she will want that too. 



I reached down to brush the loose curl from her face, slowly tracing my fingertips across her cheek. She stirred slightly and nuzzled her face against my hand. 

“Jamie…” she mumbled in a sleepy daze. I didn’t speak, instead I carried on stroking my thumb across her cheek. She moaned slightly under my touch.

“Mmmmhmm...touch me, Jamie.” Claire said under her breath, I couldn’t tell if she was awake or thinking she was dreaming. 

 

I moved my hand down the side of her neck, stroking her skin and moving her curls away. “Lower, Jamie.” She said as I grazed my fingers across her clavicle. 

I chuckled at her and then her eyes shot open and she turned to face me in a confused state of sleepiness. “Shit, I thought I was dreaming. You’re awake?” Her cheeks flushed pink and her voice trembled nervously. “Aye, sorry lass, I dinna mean t’wake ye.” I said pulling myself back to my original position and Claire sat up on her knees. “Are you alright?” She yawned and stretched her body, her breasts pressed against the thin material of her small cami top and her nipples came to a soft peak. She was, very, very beautiful. 

 

“Aye I’m fine, I was just watching ye sleep.” I smiled and took my eyes from her breasts before she realised I was staring. “Oh,” she said, cheeks still flushed. 

 

“Sit next to me for a while?” I asked and she nodded and I shuffled over on the bed and she crawled up next to me and then sat facing me with her legs crossed. She rested her hands lazily in her lap, looking up at me through tired eyes. 

 

“I ken this is hard for ye, Claire, you ken everything about me and well, us. And regrettably, I have no idea. But what I can tell ye is, I ken that I ken ye, if that makes sense?” I asked, scrunching my nose up. She nodded in response and I could see tears welling in her beautiful whisky eyes and she began to play nervously with the string on the waistband of her night time shorts.

 “But I want ye to ken, I promise ye, I’ll try..whatever it takes to either remember or start over, if that’s what it takes..would ye be willing to be patient with me, Sasseanch?” I wondered if I had asked too much of her but by her response I figured I hadn’t. Her face lit up and her face beaming into a beautiful smile. “Always, I’ll have you in any way I can.” She sobbed, I reached my hand out to her and she kindly took it, sliding her fingers between mine and then lightly tugged at her hand to pull her closer, she took the hint pretty quickly and threw her arms around my neck, crushing her tiny frame into me. My hands found their way to her back and I nuzzled my face into the mound of curls.

 

  “bidh e ceart gu leòr mo ghràidh.” I whispered softly into the crook of her neck. I slowly pulled her back and sat her firmly on my lap, her head rested on my shoulder and we stayed quiet for a moment taking in one another. 

 

I lifted her chin up to face me with my finger and cleared my throat to ask her a question, shifting myself nervously before she sat up and her whisky eyes met mine. 

 

“Will ye, umm, will ye kiss me then, Claire?” I asked awkwardly. She nodded as the tears ran down her cheeks.  “Yes.” She whispered, her face leaning into mine. 

 

“I have’na done this in a verra long time.” I whispered into her lips as they brushed against mine. “Neither have I.” She said, before pressing her mouth completely over mine and sucking all of me in with just one kiss. Her hands roamed my hair and mine the small of her hips and lower back. 

 

She kissed me like she had never been kissed before and I loved it. 

 

Chapter Text

“Are you ready to go home?” I smiled at Jamie, he stood at the end of his hospital bed with his bags in hand and a sheepish look over his face. His grey joggers lightly hanging from his hips and his sweatshirt hugged his muscles deliciously. “Aye...I think so.” He flashed me a nervous smile and I offered out my hand to him. He took it softly and brought my knuckles to his lips lightly grazing over them. “Thank ye Claire, for everything.” He said, his eyes filled with gratitude and I nodded back at him and curved my lip into a smile. “It’s my pleasure.”

Jamie had been discharged now being physically fit enough for home the only problem was his memory or lack of. The doctor thought it wise that he recover mentally at home because surrounding him with familiarities would help rather than sitting in the hospital. there wasn’t much more they could do for him or offer him right now it was a matter of a waiting game, he would have visit back to the hospital for a check up in 4 weeks time to see how his progress is coming on and then he will be sent out regular appointments through the mail to see his GP.

*

“I’ve been back here to clean up and freshen the place up since I’ve hardly been here myself the past 8 weeks..” I chuckled nervously as I walked through the front door. Jamie stayed quiet and followed in behind me. “Let me take those bags for you, I’ll go and wash your laundry.” I smiled helping him take his sweater off and leave him in a plain white top. “Dinna fash yeself. Tis’ no rush Sorcha, Ye’ve done enough. Let me make us a cup of tea, Aye?” Jamie laughed nervously. I nodded in agreement and shrugged my jacket off myself before turning away to hang it on the clothing rail. “Wait..what did you call me? That’s a new one, it's normally Sassenach.” I laughed imitating his Scottish accent. Jamie shuffled slightly on his feet and shrugged his shoulders. “Yer still a Sasseanch.” He chuckled and looked back down at his feet. “Good to know. So what is Sorcha, then?” I pressed.
“It’s just...it means ‘light’ ye ken? because ye have been my light in all this darkness.” He bit down on his lower lip nervously and my feet carried me over to him and straight into his arms, I wrapped myself around him tight and pressed my head against his hard chest. His arms snaked around me and he held me against him solid. “What’s this for?” He asked while stroking my back up and down from the top of my spine to my tail bone. “Just because I can still see my Jamie.” I whispered and he didn’t respond, he gave me a small squeeze and kissed the crown of my head.

 

*

“What d’ye want, Sassenach?” Jamie shouted from the living room, I had taken myself off to do some laundry. We sat for a few hours and talked about our life, I told him how we met and all about my relationship with Frank. It was like I was reliving it all when I brought up Frank stuff, especially when Jamie got angry and called him a ‘fucking bastard’ I told him that was similar to his reaction the first time around. He had asked again about what we had argued over before the crash but I really didn’t feel the need to go into it because it’s not as if he could explain or justify himself and it didn’t matter now anyway, Laoghaire will not be coming back into our lives. Ever again.
“Fish and chips?” I shouted back and got “Aye.” In response.

 

We ate our dinner on the couch together continuing our earlier conversation and I told him about when we went to Lallybroch to look after the wee Bairns and ended up delivering Jenny’s 3rd baby for her. He thought it was hilarious and I lightly swatted his arm saying it really wasn’t funny at the time. We finished up eating with extremely full bellies. “I’m going to burst.” I laughed, reaching over to retrieve my glass of wine. We had decided to have a small drink with our dinner. “Aye me too.” Jamie said. “I think my eyes are bigger than my belly.” I sighed, rubbing my stomach.
I glanced over at the clock on the wall and it was 9.30pm. That time already? I thought. “It’s getting late, I’m tired and I’m sure you are. I’m going to take a bath and then I will get myself set up in the back room.” I yawned, stretching my arms up in the air. I looked back at Jamie and he had a puzzled look across his face. “Will ye no’ share my bed, Claire?” He asked with disappointment in his eye. “Well...I...I just—“I stumbled and Jamie cut me off. “I get it.” He said slightly abruptly. “What do you mean? If you let me finish, you would know I was about to say I want to but I didn’t know how you would feel about it and I didn’t like to presume.” I sighed, dropping my hands lazily into my lap. “It’s your bed too is it no?” He said, raising his brow at me. “Aye!” I laughed at my poor excuse of his Scottish accent.

*

After my bath I was so relaxed, every muscle in my body that had been tense from the past 2 months seemed to feel fixed. I was knackered from barely sleeping properly during my stay at the hospital with Jamie. I felt lighter and relieved like all my stresses were washed away.

I walked into the bedroom in my towel. my wet hair loose, dripping onto my shoulders and chest, Jamie was already in bed laying back with his arms behind his head. “That was quick, are you tired?” I asked, shaking my hair. “Oooochh, na...just wanted t’ get ye into bed.” He laughed but had a devil grin across his face. I flushed at his comment and god knows why because he had made lewd comments to me all the time but this was just different..I suppose like we just started dating. But I took my opportunity to get him back and shrugged my towel off of my body letting it pool around my feet.

“So?” I said, tilting my head to the side placing my hands on my hips.
Jamie’s mouth was open wide, he could catch flies in it. his eyes raked up my entire body causing goosebumps to rise all over me. “Well...bloody hell, say something then?” I laughed, placing my arms over my chest. Jamie closed his mouth and then parted his lips to wet them with his tongue before peeling the duvet back and swinging his legs out of the bed.

“Christ, Claire...ye the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His words were almost a whisper.
I scoffed and he stood up and began walking towards me in nothing but his boxer shorts showing the curve of his cock. “Have you lost your eyesight as well as your memory?” I joked, shaking my head. My heart raced when he got closer and closer to me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and he lifted his hand up to cup my breast. My nipple hardened at his cold touch.
“I’m kind of thankful I dinna remember because I get t’experience this all over again.” his breath tickling the sensitive skin on my neck and he lightly pressed his soft lips behind my ear, earning a small moan from my lips. “Jamie..” I sighed. “Hmmm?” He responded quietly against my throat as he peppered kisses down to my clavicle. “We...we don’t have to do this.” His head snapped up and he placed his hand on my cheek. “Are ye mad, woman?” He chuckled. “Well it’s just I don’t know if...do you want me?”
I gazed over to the opposite side of the room trying not to give eye contact because I was somewhat embarrassed. Jamie’s finger came underneath my chin and he tilted my head to face him, forcing me to look him in the eye.
“Oh god, yes, I do.” He said, hungrily and crashed his lips onto mine.

He flipped our positions and walked me backwards to the bed without breaking our kiss. The back of my knees hit the edge of the bed and he lay me down and crawled over me. His hands roamed freely on my body touching every inch of me and the way he kissed my mouth was as if he was dying of thirst. I moaned as he took my bottom lip between his teeth and gently bit down. I flipped us over so Jamie was on his back and I straddled him and bent down to place a kiss to his sternum, his hands found my ass and kneaded them hungrily. “Christ, this arse, Sassenach.” He growled and I laughed in response. “I want to see you.” I whispered and lifted myself up to find the waistband of his boxers, I tugged them down so they reached his mid thigh before I climbed back to my position and hovered myself over his tip. “Come find me, Jamie.” I said as I slowly lowered him inside of me. Both of us let out a loud noise that sounded like ‘ohhh’ he then wrapped his arms around my frame and flipped us back to me laying flat on my back. He hooked an arm under my thigh and thrusted himself home. Moving in and out in slow motions, teasingly pulling himself halfway out and then thrusting back in with one quick snap of his hips. My head was thrown back into the pillow and I really was making those ‘wee’ noises he always said I did.

“Jamie…” I cried and he responded by putting his thumb over my bundle of nerves, sending me almost over the edge. “Give me yer mouth Sasseanch.” He demanded, I pressed my lips to his and swiped my tongue across his bottom lip. He moaned into my mouth as he kissed me back without stopping his rhythm in his thumb or his hips.

“Oh...Claire….god Claire.” He moaned into my mouth and he spilled inside of me, I felt my walls clenching around his length and came around him straight away.

Jamie pulled me into him and pressed our warm naked bodies together. I relaxed into his chest and he pressed his lips to my forehead before pulling himself away slightly and whispering into my hair. “This is the first time I’ve felt like me since I woke up, Sassenach.”

Chapter Text

*

 

I had returned back to work after taking leave for the past 2 months while Jamie was in hospital. I wasn't quite ready to leave him already but I knew I had to regain some sort of normal lifestyle again and it was a perfect opportunity to go back because Jenny had decided to spend the day with him so I knew he wouldn’t be alone. 

 

She was planning on going through some stuff with Jamie to see if it helped jog anything in his memory. I was sceptical about it because I didn’t want Jamie getting confused and worked up about not remembering things but I also felt for Jenny too because I knew  how frustrating it was. 



It was 8.30am and I had just gotten onto the ward to start my shift, Geillis was already in and typing away at her computer desk. “Coffee here.” She said as I walked past her desk. “You life saver!” I groaned as I sipped my hot cup of coffee and sat myself at my own desk. 

 

“How’s Jamie?” Gellie asked. “Ah, you know...it’s hard really, but we are getting there. He wants to make things work with us…” I sighed. 

“Aye, that’s good! I’m happy for ye, Claire.” She smiled and turned back to typing on her keyboard. 

“I need to go through the bed lists and do my rounds. Has anything changed much while I’ve been gone?” I asked logging myself into the computer and bringing up my work emails. 

“Ahh, no much. Same old.” Geillis laughed whilst shrugging her shoulders. 



I took myself off to check on the new admission. 

I lightly knocked on the door and entered the room. “Mrs Thomas?” I said making my way across to her bedside. The old woman looked up at me with a sweet but frail smile. “Hello, I’m Nurse Beauchamp.” I smiled back at her and she nodded at me politely. “How are you feeling?” I asked and pulled the vitals machine over to her. “Like death.” She half chuckled. 

“I don’t believe that! You’re doing great, your knee surgery all went well. We will have you up on your feet before you know it. Is it alright if I take your vitals?” I asked and she nodded her head back at me. 

“You're a pretty girl, why haven’t you got a ring on your finger?” Mrs Thomas asked. “Been there done that.” I laughed and pulled out my clipboard to write down her results. 

“Me too, 3 times.” She laughed. “Well, am I dying then, Nurse Beauchamp?” 

“No, I can assure you, you’re not. All your vitals are good. It’s just a case of getting your strength back up now.” I smiled and lightly squeezed her hand. 

“I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you again, you have your nurses bell don’t you?” I shouted as I walked out. “Yes, thank you Nurse.” 

 

I left the room and walked my way to the next patient, before I got to the room I began to feel strange and slightly dizzy. I shook it off and walked into the room. “Hello, Mr Davey, I’ve come to do your check up.” I said. A wave of sickness then washed over me and I forced myself to ignore it and began to change the IV fluid drip. I reached up to lift the bag from the stand and I felt dizzy again and hot. It was boiling, I could feel the beads of sweat begin to trickle down my forehead. I stood myself back and the patient looked at me with confusion. “I’m sorry, Mr Davey. I’ll have to step outside for a moment, I’ll be back.”I cleared my throat and headed out of the door. 

As I closed the door behind me Geillis was walking past. “Christ! Claire! Are ye alright?” She said, rushing over to me. 

“Yes...I think so. I just feel sick and it’s so hot in here I can’t—“ after that everything went black. 

 

*

 

“Claire!” I heard the muffled sound of Geillis voice shouting my name. “Claire, wake up!” She repeated and I slowly came to consciousness. The first thing I realised was my head was splitting, like worse than any hangover I’d ever experienced. I groaned and tried to sit myself up, then realised I was lying in the hospital bed, still in my uniform. “What happened?” I groaned and winced slightly, lifting my hand to my head. “My head is pounding.” 

“Aye, drink!” Geillie said, pushing a cup of water into my hand. I took it and guzzled back the ice cold liquid, instantly feeling better when it hit my throat. “Ye went down like a sack o’ shite! Ye scared the fuck out of me!” Geillie tried to scold me and she held her hand over her chest as if to say her heart was pounding. “I’m sorry..I don’t know what happened, I just felt really sick and dizzy and then I was sweating, it all just went black.” I moaned and handed my cup to Geillis to refill. 

“I think ye should have a blood test, yer iron could be low, aye?” She said, pouring the jug of water into my styrofoam hospital cup. 

“Yeah, will you do it?” I said, putting the cup back to my lips and taking another big drink. 

“Aye.” 



Geillis took my blood and sent it off down stairs to the lab. She made me stay laying on the hospital bed to make sure I had come around completely before letting me do anything. 

 

“G, really I’m fine! It’s probably lack of sleep and all the stress with Jamie. Just let me get back to work, I need to go back to Mr Davey.” I sighed while rubbing my temple. 

 

“No! Ye nearly passed out in front of the poor man! I sent Annabelle, dinna fash yeself. Ye need some rest and when yer results come back we’ll decide what to do wi’ ye! Hm!?” Geillis said, cocking her eyebrow up and folding her arms across her chest. “Alright…” I sighed in defeat not having the energy to begin an argument with her. 

 

I must have nodded back off to sleep in the bed when I heard Geillis saying my name again. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and stretched. “Here are the results.” She said, handing me the piece of paper. I gently pushed her hand back. “Read it for me? My eyes are stinging. She nodded and unfolded the white piece of paper. Scanning her eyes over the small document and she turned to face me. 

 

“Well, yer no dying, yer no even sick…” Geillis said. “See I told you!! I’m fine, it’s just a lack of sleep and stress.” I rolled my eyes. “Aye, or the fact the HCG hormone is in yer blood…” Gellie said with wide eyes. 

My head snapped up and straight to the piece of paper she was holding. “What!?” I exclaimed and sat forward abruptly. “No, G. That’s the pregnancy hormone..you must have it wrong, give it here.” I shook my head and took the piece of paper from her hands and scanned my eyes over the results. 

 

My eyes widened and my heart raced when I saw ‘HCG’

 

 “Holy fuck..” I whispered my gaze not tearing away from the paper, I felt tears sting the corner of my eyes. 

 

“Yer pregnant, Claire.” Gellie said, I pulled my eyes from the paper and looked at her in the eye, tears were freely rolling down my cheek and some began to pool in Geillis’.

 

“I’m pregnant.” I said. 

 

“Aye, yer having a bairn.” Gellie began to clap. 

 

“I’m having a baby? A real baby?” I cried. 

 

“You are.” Gellie pulled me against her chest and I hugged her back and began to sob uncontrollably against her shoulder. Repeating in whispers ‘I’m having a baby’ 

 

Then it hit me…..Jamie. 

 

I pulled back abruptly. “What wrong hen?” G said, looking at me with confusion as my happiness turned to sadness and stress. 

 

“Jamie? What the fuck….Jamie! How can this be? Why now? After all this time, all we went through with talking about having to see a doctor because of my fertility situation, now I’m pregnant? But how? When?” I said, my head beginning to spin, I thought I would pass out again. 

 

“Claire. Slow down. It’s only been near on 3 months since the crash aye? Did ye have sex before then?” Gellie questioned. 

“Yes, the morning of the crash.” I said. 

“Weeel….bish bash bosh. Ye made a baby. Ye need to go get one of those wee early scans to see how far on, aye?” Gellie said, a huge smile all over her face. 

 

“Gellie I want to be happy, I am happy but how can I tell Jamie? Not right now….there’s too much stress in his head as it is. This would top it off. I think I need to give him some time to try and gain some memory before I tell him.” I said nervously. 

 

“And what if he doesn’t get any memories back?” G shrugged. 

 

“Then I will have to tell him either way and deal with the consequences.” 

Chapter Text

***

 

My car rolled up outside of my house at 8pm. I had decided to stay at work for the remainder of my shift because after I had rested and drank a little I felt a lot better, much to Gellies dissatisfaction. 

 

I had a nervous feeling in my stomach even though I knew Jamie was none the wiser; it still felt absolutely horrendous lying to his face but I had no other option right now.

 

Before I could get my key in the door it flung open and Jamie stood before me with a grin like a Cheshire Cat. “Sassenach!!” He exclaimed and pulled me into the house and then squeezed me against his chest. “Jamie, you're crushing me!” I giggled. 

 

“Ah sorry. I’m so happy to see ye.” He pulled me out of his crushing grip and then planted chaste kisses over my lips. 

 

“Come, Jenny’s still here wi’ wee Ellen.” He slipped his hand into mine and all but dragged me into the living area where Jenny was sat nursing her 5 month old child. 

 

“Hello Claire,” Jenny greeted me on my arrival. “Hi Jen. Aww look at wee Ellen.” I cooed, leaning over to the small child latched onto its mother’s breast. “Where is wee Jamie and Rabbie?” I asked, sitting myself down next to Jenny and removing my work shoes. “They’re at home wi’ Ian.” She smiled. 

 

“Claire, I have something to tell ye.” Jamie said, appearing in the doorway with a glass of wine he handed it to me I thanked him and took a sip before remembering I couldn’t drink wine so I instantly spat it out. Jenny and Jamie looked at me with confusion on their faces. I cleared my throat and shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve just not been feeling great today and that wine made me feel a little sick. I’m fine though I just need sleep.” I nervously laughed. “Anyway, what is it Jamie?” I swiftly changed the subject. 

 

“Oh, aye. I remembered something today.” He smiled like a small child on Christmas morning. “You did?” My heart fluttered in my chest. 

 

“I remembered ye. The first day we met, Aye? I remember going to the hospital to start my training and I was assigned ye as my nurse. And when I saw ye there so bonny wi’ ye curly hair bouncing and yer beautiful captivating eyes. I kent I must have ye one way or the other. I kent I’d have ye in my bed.” Jamie was rambling over his words in excitement. 

 

“Jamie!” I scolded and I looked at Jenny who had a frown on her face.

 

“What? It’s true! Tell me ye dinna think about what I would be like in bed then? Cos that’s all I could think about when I saw ye...all professional, I wondered how professional ye’d be between the sheets.” He laughed. 

 

“Brother! Seriously? I am happy for ye, Aye, dinna get me wrong on that. But I dinna need to sit here hearing how ye wanted to ravish Claire.” Jenny looked as if she were to vomit. “Continue.” She said. 

 

“Weeel, that’s all Janet. I remember meeting Claire at the hospital and I remember how I felt when I first saw her.” He raised his hands in defense. 

 

“Jamie, that's wonderful.” I got up from my seat next to Jenny and sat beside Jamie. I put my arm around his shoulders and pecked his cheek. 

 

“Has Ellen finished feeding, Jenny?” I asked. 

“Aye, d’ye want her?” Jenny said, offering me her sleeping child. “No give her to Jamie, I would like to talk to you alone.” I smiled and Jamie looked at me with worry. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just girl talk.” I pressed my lips to his temple and made my way out of the room. 

 

Jenny followed soon enough and I led her into the kitchen and closed the door softly behind us. 

 

“Are ye alright Claire?” She had a look of concern over her face and she placed her hand on my shoulder. 

 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

 

“I’m pregnant.” I said.

 

Jenny’s face fell to the floor and she let out a noise I couldn’t even describe but I quickly put my hand over her mouth to stop her from shouting. 

 

Once I was confident she wouldn’t scream the house down I gently pulled away and she placed her hands on her hips.

 

“Weel, by Christ. I never kent...wait is that why ye spat yer wine out?” She said, her mind putting the little pieces of the puzzle together. “Yes,” I sighed. 

 

“How long have ye known?” She asked, taking a seat at the dining room table. I joined her and sat opposite. 

 

“Not long. A few hours. I collapsed at work and—“ Jenny cut me off. “Ye what?! Why did ye no call me? Are ye daft lass?” Jenny shook her head at me. “I’m alright, I was dehydrated and well, pregnant.”

I shrugged. “I couldn’t call you because of Jamie. He can’t know.” I said with regret in my voice. 

 

“Aye...yer right. Ye canna put this on him yet, Claire.” She brought her hands to her forehead and began to rub her fingers across. “Christ. What will ye do?” 

 

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Weeel, will ye keep it?” 

“What? Of course! I didn’t even think it was possible to have children...I tried for years with my ex husband Frank. I recently told Jamie about it and we had agreed on seeing a fertility doctor. And now…” I closed my eyes briefly. “Now yer pregnant. At the worst possible time.” I felt like Jenny was scolding me. “Where ye no’ careful?” She definitely was scolding me. 

 

“Well, Jenny I haven’t slept with your brother since the day of the accident. Well actually, I did the other night but that obviously doesn’t count I couldn’t have gotten pregnant that quick,” I rambled and then realised I was talking quickly and slowed myself right down. “But, I didn’t think on the day we last had sex before the accident that I should be careful because my boyfriend might get into a life threatening accident,” I sighed. 

 

“I ken, I'm sorry lass. Dinna take any offence. It’s no yer fault. These things happen. But it’s a good sign that Jamie is starting to remember things. If he doesnae remember everything by the time ye start to show ye’ll have to just tell him. I ken my brother, Claire. Deep down he kens he loves ye and he’ll be happy.” She covered her hand over mine and gave me a light squeeze. “Right, I must get the bairn home.” She said before standing up and pushing her chair underneath the table. 

 

We said our goodbyes to Jenny and headed up to bed with a cup of tea.

 

“Sassenach?” Jamie said as he removed his shirt. “Hmmm?” I responded, lightly washing the makeup from my face with a face wipe. “Are ye alright?” I turned to face him and he had a confused look on his face.

“Of course! What makes you say that?” I was curious. “Accchh, I dinna ken. Just seem quieter and ye look paler, but also more plump.” He examined me with his eyes. 

 

“Plump? Are you saying I’m fat?” I raised a brow and chuckled. Jamie’s face dropped. “No! I am not! Yer beautiful Claire.” He swallowed hard. “I know you didn’t mean anything Jamie.” I gave him a small smile. “I just wasna sure if it was yer time of the….ken?” He laughed. 

“Period? Yes, that’s what it is.”  I lied. I barefaced lied to him. 



*3.30am* 

 

I woke up to the bed shaking and the sounds of Jamie hyperventilating. I immediately jumped out of bed and put the light on. He was sitting in the middle of our bed shaking and trying to catch his breath. I ran over to him and cupped his face. 

 

“Jamie, look at me.” I demanded. He looked up at me and all I saw was sadness. The beads of sweat trickled down the bridge of his nose and clung to the tip of it. 

“Jamie, breath.” I said, and began to inhale and exhale. “Copy me.” I demonstrated. 

“In and out. That’s it.” I said as he copied my actions. 

 

Once he was calm he rubbed the sweat on the back of his shirt that had been crumpled on the floor from earlier this evening when he discarded it. 

 

“Water,” he mumbled and I got up and made my way to the kitchen to fetch him some water. 

 

“Here.” I passed it to him and he thanked me before downing the whole lot. 

 

“Jamie. What is it?” I sat on my knees with my hands placed on his face. He closed his eyes and let a single tear fall and nuzzled into my palm. 

 

“I’m sorry Claire. I’m so verra, verra sorry.” He sniffles. My brows knitted together as I couldn’t fathom what he could possibly be sorry for. “Whatever for?” 

 

“Laoghaire.” I felt like a knife had pierced my gut when her name left his lips. 

 

“What about her?” I played stupid. 

 

“I remember, Sassenach.” He sighed. 

 

“When?”

 

“I thought I was dreaming about it all, but then I realised I wasna and I woke up and I sat forward and everything else came rushing into my head. Me and you, Frank, your divorce and the house, Jenny and the Bairns….Laoghaire and then the crash..” 

 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him so tight. “None of that matters now.” He pulled me back slightly and looked into my eyes. “I saw ye wee face, Claire. Ye looked at me with such disappointment, hurt and betrayal.” His eyes filled with tears. 

“I never meant t’hurt ye.” He whispered.

 

“I know.” I crushed his head against my chest and cradled him. “I have to explain.” 

 

“Jamie..” He cut me off. “Please, Claire.” He gulped and I nodded against his mop of curls. 

 

“Laoghaire had been texting me for some time, only general conversation. Catching up really. She told me about her mother passing and I ken how that feels. I wanted to support her however I could. I dinna want the lass to suffer alone, I kent well enough how destroying losing a parenting is. I offered her my support and I said I would always be here to help her if she needed me. I never meant anything of the sorts you or her were thinking of. It must have been miscommunication on my end,” he held in a breath and pulled himself out of my embrace to look at me, his hand cupped my cheek and my own eyes began to cry. 

 

“I never ever meant anything by it. I swear to ye. I never wanted Laoghaire. I only ever wanted you.” His thumb stroked my falling tears away. “I love you Claire.” 

 

I threw my whole body into him and he caught me and wrapped his arms around my frame holding me tight and rubbing his palm up and down my back. 

 

I pulled back and pressed my lips to his, spilling all of my feelings and my relief into his mouth. He kissed me with love and nothing but. His lips felt tingly against my own and we moved in sync with one another. I pulled back slightly to catch my breath. “I love you.” I whispered against his mouth. 

 

He kissed me again this time with more passion and need behind it, I sat on his lap and felt his arousal growing harder with every flick of my tongue against his. He pulled away and cupped his hands on my cheeks. “I want ye, sorcha.” He said with a low growl. 

 

I slid out of his embrace and he looked at me with hurt in his eye. “D’ye no’ want me, Claire?” He swallowed the lump in his throat. My heart melted a little. 

 

“Jamie, I do want you. I have to tell you something first and after I do you might not want me.” I said, my hands nervously playing with the bottom of my nightgown. 

 

“What is it?” He looked at me with such worry and concern. 

 

“I-I...well. I’m pregnant.” 

 

Jamie’s face fell in astonishment and he closed his eyes briefly to process what I had said. 

He darted his tongue out and wetted his lips. “P-Pregnant?” He almost whispered the word. “Yes.” I nodded. 

 

“How..” he trailed and I turned my head to the side. “I don’t really think I have to tell you how..” I tried to joke and he shook his head. 

 

“Well..what do you think? Are you happy?” His head snapped in my direction and he looked around the room before a small smile crept onto his face. 

 

“After the accident I never kent I could say such a thing again….but yes, I am verra happy, Sassenach. Come to me.” 

 

And I did. 

Chapter Text

~

 

I stood staring down at my left hand, I rolled the small delicate silver band between my forefinger and thumb smiling down at it. 

 

I couldn’t believe it. I was married to a man who I loved more than life itself. I was a wife and a mother. 

 

Claire Elizabeth Fraser. I repeated it over and over again in my head. 

 

I loved how it sounded coming off of my tongue. 

 

“Christ, I canna believe yer wed!” Gellie exclaimed from behind me pulling me out of my trance. 

 

“I know, it’s crazy, right?” I sighed and ran my hand along my tightly fitted ivory gown. 

 

“Aye. Ye look amazing, Claire. I’m verra proud of ye.” 

 

Was Geillis Mckenzie about to cry?

 

“Thank you, G. For everything, I couldn’t have done it without you.” I smiled. 

 

“WE couldna have done without ye, I think my wife meant to say.” Jamie said, coming behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He bent his head down and placed his chin on my shoulder. 

 

“Well, yes.” I chuckled softly. 

 

“It’s my pleasure. Now, are ye ready to party? I need a drink.” Geillie said with a twinkle in her eye. 

 

“I could certainly do with a stiff one, couldn’t you, my love?” 

 

“Oh….there will be nae problem wi’ that, Sassenach.” Jamie teased and lightly pressed his lips to the base of my nape while making “mmhmmmmm” sounds. 

 

“Jamie!” I laughed and swatted his arm that was around my middle. 

 

“Aye, well if ye dinna mind, I must say I would like to have a drink wi’ ye both before ye start ravishing one another.” Gellie said, pulling Jamie’s arms from around me and taking my hand to drag me away. 

 

Jamie groaned in response. 

 

“Go and find Bree, Jamie. I think she’s playing with Ellen. I don’t want her flower girl dress ruined.” 

 

Jamie nodded and went off to find our daughter. 

 



“To Mrs Fraser, I loved ye when I first saw ye, I kent ye were the one for me from the moment I saw ye crying at work. I comforted ye and I kent I would always want to comfort ye for the rest of my life. Ye gave me love, ye brought me out of the hardest time of my life wi’ the accident. Ye gave me a beautiful red headed bundle o’ joy. You are my life, Claire Fraser. I love ye. Please could everybody raise the glasses to my wife.” Jamie picked up his glass and shouted “To Mrs Fraser.” 

 

Everyone raised their glasses and shouted in unison.

 

My eyes were bubbling with tears at my husband's speech. Could I love this man any more than I already did? I felt completely whole in my life. I had Jamie, and I had Brianna.



The evening took its course and it was time to take to the dance floor for our first dance. 

 

Jamie took my hand and led me to the middle of the dance floor, he kissed the back of my hand and took a bow in front of me. 

 

“Get up you ridiculous human.” I couldn’t help the huge smile all over my face. 

 

“Would ye have this dance with me, Mo Chridhe?” He whispered. 

 

“I will.” 

 

We began to sway back and forth, Jamie’s hand holding mine in the air and his other hand tight on my hip, I rested my arm around his neck and lightly twirled the loose copper at the back of his neck around my finger. 

 

“Did I tell ye how beautiful ye are?” He pressed his lips to my cheek. 

 

“You did. But, there’s no harm saying it again.” I teased. 

 

“Yer dress is beautiful, Sorcha. But I canna wait to get ye out of it.” He almost growled and squeezed my hip in response. 

 

“Hmm, is that so?” I chuckled. 

 

“Oh, Aye.” He kissed my lips ever so softly. 

 

“You know all our guests are watching us, don’t you?” I raised a brow. 

 

“Let them, I want them to ken exactly how I feel about ye.” He groaned and sharply twirled me around and caught me, my head inches from the floor. 

 

There was an array of ‘wooo’ coming from the crowded guests. 

 

He had that teasing look in his eye that sent waves of electricity straight to my very core, lighting a fire inside of me. That had never stopped. The passion between us was forever growing and 3 years down the line we are more in love than ever. He still excites me in every way.

 

He kissed me again while holding me almost at the floor, a little more tantalising this time with a swipe of his tongue. 

 

I pulled back and he stood me back up, I felt a little dizzy from the excitement and the heat of the moment. 

 

“I think it’s nearly time for us to call it a night…” I smirked. 

 

“Yep.” He said taking my hand and dragging me off the dance floor. 

 

I found my daughter on her auntie Jenny’s lap at one of the tables stuffing her face with buffet food. 

 

“Mama.” She smiled up at me. 

 

“Hello my darling, are you having fun?” I said reaching down to pick my nearly 2 year old up. She nodded at me and continued shoving food in her mouth. 

 

“Now, you’ll be a good girl for aunt Jen, won’t you?” I raised a brow. 

 

“Yes mama.” She saw her father approaching and squirmed her way out of my grip. “Da! Da!” She giggled excitedly. 

 

“Ahh, a leannan.” Jamie cooed to his sweet baby, scooping her up in his massive arms he pressed his lips to her forehead. 

 

“Ye’ll be with yer auntie Jenny tonight, ye ken?” He said, bouncing her on his hip. 

 

“I want ye to make all the mess ye ken, be a wee rascal for yer aunt and uncle, aye? 

mo leanabh bòidheach.” He chuckled. 

 

“Thank you for doing this Jenny.” I smiled ignoring my husband's silly comments to our daughter. 

 

“Ah, it’s nae bother.” She waved me off. “It’s yer wedding, go and enjoy it. But I dinna want the details.” She laughed, lifting her arms up to take Bree from her father. 

 

“I’ll get the bairns home to bed.” She smiled. Jamie pressed a kiss to our daughters curly orange hair. And I pressed my lips to her cheek. “Be good.” I cooed. 

 

~

 

Jamie and I made our way to our bridal suite hand in hand, giggling like children. 

 

“Are ye ready to make another wee bairn?” He smirked. 

 

“Well...there’s no need to make a bairn, but we can still do the trying..” I titled my head, hoping he’d grasp my meaning. 

 

“What do ye mean?” He furrowed his brows. 

I stayed silent and looked at him, waiting for the penny to drop. 

 

It did.

 

He placed his hand on my abdomen. “Yer pregnant?” He smiled. 

 

“Yes.” I whispered. 

 

“Christ. Sassenach. I’m mad wi’ joy.” He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, crushing his chest against mine. He pulled me into a sloppy kiss. 



He pulled away and spun me around and my back faced him. His hands traced down the back of my neck and down my spine, he found his way to the zipper at the middle of my back and slowly removed my wedding gown. 

 

His eyes blown wide when he took in the all white laced underwear I was wearing. 

 

“A Dhia,” he licked his lips and scanned my body with his eyes. “Yer so beautiful, mo ghràdh. How did I get so lucky?” He pressed his lips to my shoulder and slowly pushed the strap of my bra down. 

 

I grabbed his wrist and spun myself around. 

 

“You are wearing far too much.” I teased. 

 

I unbuttoned his white shirt slowly, agonisingly slow. His eyes were dark with lust. “Claire, ye killin’ me.” He sucked in a breath when I latched my lips onto his clavicle. 

 

“Am I?” I mumbled, trailing my lips down his chest. 

 

“Ye ken fine well what yer doin’ to me.” He growled. 

 

“Hmm. Let’s see what we have here then.” I proceeded to remove his kilt. 

 

He was very much ready, to say the least. 

 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and crushed my lips onto his. Kissing him hungrily. He bent and lifted me up so my legs were wrapped around his waist and he carried me to the bed. 

 

His kisses rained on me, from my lips to my neck, the soft spot behind my ear he knew made me wild. My throat and between my breasts, he pulled back the thin layer of fabric covering my breast and latched onto a nipple making my back arch, he used that opportunity to unhook my bra. 

 

He worked his way to my stomach where his big hands stroked me and he peppered kisses across the light swell of my abdomen, especially where I was lightly marked silver from carrying our previous child, they were more prominent since my stomach was slowly beginning to stretch again. 

 

“Tha thu breagha.” He mumbled against my skin. 

 

“Say that again in English.” I panted. 

 

“You.” He kissed me. “Are.” He kissed me again. “Beautiful.” And he kissed me again. 

 

I moaned against him, begging him to give me all of him. 

 

He traced his finger on the inside of my thigh and up to my hip, he then hooked his finger around the thin lacy fabric and pulled them down my thighs before completely removing them. 

 

He pressed his mouth to my pubic bone and ran a finger across my opening making me shiver. 

 

“Jamie,” I groaned. 

 

“Aye, Sorcha, I ken. He whispered against my skin, his breath hot against my inner thigh and I almost begged him to go just a little higher. 

 

He must have read my mind because his lips attached to me and I almost jolted off the bed in ecstasy when he ran his tongue along me. He licked, bit and sucked on my throbbing nub and teased with his finger at the same time. I found myself nearly ready to orgasm. 

 

“Jamie, now, please.” I said, through rugged breath. 

 

He rose up and wrapped his hand around his length, pumping a few times while staring down at me with desire, watching me as my body rose up and down as I panted. 

 

He ran his hand along my slit again and gathered my wetness on his palm before rubbing himself again and leaning over me, holding himself up with one arm he pressed his tip at my entrance and entered me at a painfully slow rate. Once he was finally filled inside me, I rocked against him and he began to move with me but only very slowly. 

 

“Jamie you're killing me, please.” I begged. 

 

He gave a dirty laugh before dramatically upping his speed. Hips crashed as he thrusted and thrusted. 

 

He stopped suddenly. 

 

“Why have you stopped? I cried. 

 

He pulled out of me and kissed me longingly. “Jamie what are you do—“ he cut me off. 

 

“Shhh...turn over.” He whispered. 

 

“W-what?” 

 

“On yer knees, a nighean.” He smirked and flipped me over, pulling my ass to meet his erection, he entered me at full speed. It took all of 2 minutes for me to find my orgasm and to see stars. 

 

~

 

We lay catching our breath in the midst of our afterglow, tangled in one another. Jamie’s hand stroking my head and my hand stroking his chest. 

 

“Good night, Mrs Fraser.” 

 

“Good night, Mr Fraser.”