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Sparkling Really Isn't That Suspicious

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"Look at me!" Edward cried, shimmering in the sun. "What am I?"


"An idiot?" Bella called out.


Edward's eyes found her in the crowd. "B-Bella?"


Okay, so they hadn't been able to stop his stupid "step into the sunlight and sparkle" plan. That was fine. The traditional vampire myth didn't involve a glitter explosion. And even if it did, people aren't going to jump to "Vampires are real!" if you offer them a reasonable explanation.


Bella was smart enough and mad enough to make this work. "Seriously, Edward, what the fuck?"


"I...I'm a monster," he half-heartedly muttered.


"Don't be dramatic," she said. "We've been looking for you all night. Alice has been worried sick! We were hitting like one bar, and then you were nowhere. And now here you are like 12 hours later, clearly drunk and covered in body glitter. Where did you even get this stuff?"




She sighed heavily. "No. You know what? I don't even care. Come on. Let's go to the hotel, and you can shower it off." 


Bella grabbed his arm and tugged at it. A subdued Edward let her drag him back into the shadows. She muttered, “Okay, I’m pretty sure like half that crowd didn’t understand English. Plus, you were being really cryptic, so no one’s gonna throw garlic at you or whatever. Now we just have to convince the vampire Illuminati not to cut your head off.”