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The Dock Where It Happens

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“It’s like a little hat.”

“What are you doing down there, David?”

“Or, more like a sleeve. See? I can pull it back, like pushing up the sleeve of a sweater.”

“You told me pushing up the sleeves of a sweater is incorrect.”

“Only if they’re designer."

“So you’re saying my foreskin isn’t designer?”

"It’s not, but it is very special.”

"Thank you, David.”

“And see, if you start to get hard, like you’re doing now, even though I just made you come—like, minutes ago, you’re a menace—it pulls back by itself.”

“I know how it works, David. And I’m sorry, if you’re going to keep touching it, that’s what happens.”

“It’s like a Jack-in-the-box. Or a Pez dispenser!”

“A Pez dispenser? The last time I checked, the head of my cock doesn’t…flip open, David, does dispense, so you’re half right.”

“Oh my god.”

“You can’t tell me you haven’t seen a foreskin before. I thought you kissed ‘like a thousand people.’ None of those people had foreskins?”

“Of course they did. I’ve just never had the time to observe one at my leisure. Or to…”

“Play with it?”

“Well, yes. When I’ve seen other uncut—they’ve always looked like...anteaters? But yours...yours is cute.”

“I’m honored. But. Cute?”

“Fine. It’s very debonair.”




"Supposedly, it makes you more sensitive. So everything is more intense for you."

“Mm. Yes. I believe that.”

“Can you describe it?”

“David, how am I supposed to describe an orgasm? It’s Christmas and New Year’s and my birthday, all rolled into one. Just add come.”

“Mmkay. Now you made it gross.”

“You say gross, I say amazing.”

“All right. We will stipulate that. But, say, on a scale of one to ten.”

“A million.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

“Well, I guess there’s really no way to compare. I’d like to know the difference, though.”

“Why? Jealous?”

“No, not at all.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, Patrick. Don’t you know I want you to have that? To feel everything? Every ounce of pleasure you can possibly have, to make up for not having it? I want all of that for you.”


“Oh. Okay. Mmph. I’m getting that you liked that.”

“David, you make me feel so good. I couldn’t have ever imagined I’d have this, what we have together. It’s everything.”

“Stop. I was being the sincere one for once. Don’t steal my thunder."


“Wow. That was—”

“Yeah. It was.”

“I didn’t think it would feel so different. But it did. That whole ribbed for her pleasure thing is for real. Which is so heteronormative, by the way. What about my pleasure?”

“I’m glad, David. It felt different for me, too. Without a condom. Very—intense.”

“So what happens to the scale when you’re already at a million, and you go higher—”

“Clearly, this is why they invented infinity.”

“I will accept that, even though it sounds like math. Hmm.”


“Just thinking about something else we haven’t tried.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I’ve always wondered about docking.”

“Um. Throw down the anchor, tie your boat to the pilings, docking?”

“Patrick. You sweet, innocent child. No. Docking. It’s when—wait, what are you doing? Are you Googling? We’re supposed to be afterglow cuddling here.”

“Of course I’m Googling, David. And I can multitask. Come here.”

“Okay, fine.”

“This is fascinating, David. This description is for two uncut men, though. Can we still do it if it’s just one of us?”

“I think so. Once again, we’re a delightful half-half situation.”

“Ah, yes, I see, it says that further down. And listen. Commenter 4Skin4Lyfe says it’s the ‘French kiss of queer sex.’ I’m into trying this, David.”

“Well, let’s add it to the list.”

“So, just so I’m clear, you haven’t actually done this before? Or had it done to you?”

“Nope, never.”

“All right then! I will be your first. I’ll start doing some research.”

“Research? What research? I think what you just did is all you need to know.”

“David. You sweet, innocent child. No.”

“Um. What are the chances we’ll shipwreck, do you think?”

“On Stevie’s cousin’s houseboat? Slim to none. David, I can assure you we are safely...docked.”

“Hmm, let’s get our clothes off before we make any final declarations there.”

“I think I can be amenable to those terms. Aw, David, ‘Love me tender.’ Did you know a tender is a type of boat?”

“If I say yes, will it earn me extra docking points?”

“Ooh, are we doing points? No? No. You’re right. We should keep this non-competitive. But just in case, I might have a pencil—okay, I’m kidding. Come here. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“Ah. Me—Wait, did you want to keep score because you’re wearing boat shoes?”

“How many points would you say they would be worth?”

“We’re not doing points, Patrick. A little on the nose, don’t you think?”

“I wanted to stay on theme, David. I thought you’d appreciate that. I was committing.”

“Committing might be a yacht in the Maldives but. I appreciate the lengths.”

“I sincerely hope you appreciate the lengths, David. And also the width.”

“Mmm. You’re making it harder.”

“Harder is what we’re aiming for. Actually. I read not too hard or you won’t be able to fit, too—”


“Mmm. Hi. I’m getting mixed messages on the boat shoes, David.”

“No, I have fairly strong—wait. Boat, mountaineering, tap...Do you have a pair of shoes for every prospective hobby?”

“Um. Yes. Yes, I do.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to you.”

“Well David, that is good news on several levels.”

“Now please take them off immediately.”

“Aye aye captain.”

“Okay. If we dialed the commitment back from infinity…”

“I’m sorry. I’m just very excited.”

“I can tell. And I like it.”


“Ah. So how did your research say we should...go about this?”

“Well, try touching me first. We probably shouldn’t just plunge right in.”

“Okay, don’t say plunge. We aren’t plumbers. Or characters in a bodice-ripper.”

“Well. We can dip our oars into the waters then. In more ways than one.” 

“Oh my god. You’re a menace.”

“A menace who wants to feel you inside me.”

“I’ve been inside you.”

“I mean inside me here. In my—um. Hat. Sleeve. Pez dispenser.”

“Dammit. Shut up. Talk less, dock more.”

“David. You know what Burr does to me.”

“Yes, I do. I’m trying to inspire you.”

“Oh, I’m very inspired. Wanna know why?”


“Because my foreskin is wide enough for both David Rose and—”

“I should have known.”

“And yet. Aw, come back, David, let’s not throw away our shot.”

“Listen. Here we are. Still talking. No docking. Get me back into the eye of the hurricane, please.”


“Let’s do the thing, Patrick. How do we...what should we…”

“Well, I’m not an expert but...Slow, I think. If we go...slow.”

“Patrick-slow or regular-people-slow?”

“Like...a millimeter at a time slow.”

“Oh. Yes, okay. Yes. Let’s do that.”

“Oh. Thank. You.”

“Yeah. This is…”

“Ah. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

“I—I think our hatches are becoming—oh, hi, yes there—more firmly battened.”

“David—are you sure you didn’t look up...boating terms?”

“Mm. Perhaps.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to you.”


“Really? But how about—now?”

“Okay—it’s—yeah. Still trending upwards.”

“Yes. Yes it is. Keep going.”


“Well shiver me timbers.”

“Okay, sailor, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Mmm, David. Gimme a sec, I’m still getting my sea legs back under me.”

“Okay well, come here then, let’s get your sea legs under me.”

“Oh god. I don’t know if I can go again so soon; I think I might still be at half-mast.”

“I just meant snuggle with me, you pervert.”

“Oh, good, yes. That I can handle.”

“So I take it from your...general bonelessness and lack of spatial reasoning that you enjoyed it?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.”

“Ah. You sound a lot like you did a few minutes ago.”

“Did you like it, David? You sounded like you liked it, too.”

"Mmm, yes. Definitely. I felt very—connected to you.”

“Now you can say we know each other inside and out.”

“In intimate detail, yes.”

“And no one’s ever done that for you before?”

“Never. I told you that already.”

“I know, I just like hearing it.”


“It’s stupid.”

“Tell me.”

“I like that there’s something—when it comes to sex, you’ve done so much for me, you’ve shown me so much. So I just like that I got to do something new—for you.”

“Oh, honey.”

“I told you it was stupid.”

“No. I just mean—don’t you know—”


“Don’t you know it’s all new for me, with you? For the first time, things feel safe. I feel safe. Okay, you’re doing the thing with your eyes...It’s a maiden voyage, clear sailing—mmph.”


“I love you, David.”

“I love you, too.”



"I like the cut of your jib.”


“No, now you say, I like the uncut of your—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”