Work Header

all my cards are here

Chapter Text

Remus and Sirius slept in. It was a Sunday morning, their phones were dead, and they had been out so late the night before, they decided to take a moment for themselves. They stayed in bed for at least an hour as the sun streamed in through the window. Sirius’s skin was golden under its glow and Remus couldn’t stop himself from tracing light circles on his chest. 

Remus knew they should probably start their day, but Sirius’s arms around him were intoxicating. In his embrace, he was warm and safe. They stared at each other across the pillows and couldn’t seem to stop smiling. Even their soft kisses felt like an admission of their joy.

Eventually, Remus dragged Sirius out of bed with the promise of tea and toast. Sirius wrapped the blanket around himself and trailed after Remus into the kitchen. Sirius sat on the counter, his sleepy eyes never falling from Remus, always reaching out to touch him as he passed. When breakfast was ready, Remus joined Sirius on the counter and they let their legs dangle side by side.

“So what do you want to do today?” Remus asked as they finished their toast.

“Who cares?” Sirius responded lazily. “Let’s stay inside. Block out the world. Watch a bad movie and make out on the couch.”

Remus leaned over and brought Sirius in for a kiss. “Sounds perfect.”

They finished breakfast and ended up on the couch. Remus turned on the local news and played with Sirius’ hair as the other boy sat in his lap. The news was the same stories as always - rainy weather, unsolved robberies, corrupt politicians. 

“You know my father always had the news on when we were kids,” Sirius said. “It was always so surreal when they did a political story and he was on TV. When we were little, it was the coolest thing ever. As we get older and I realized why he was in the news, it became a sure-fire way for a fight.”

“Do you want me to change the channel?” Remus asked.

“Nah. I’m not letting him take the news from me.” Sirius looked up at Remus and smiled. “Let’s make some happier memories.”

Remus hummed happily and they settled into the next segment. It was celebrity news which Remus only half-listened to. Some movie stars were getting divorced, some soccer player was making a political statement. It was all a bit dull to him, especially compared to the half-asleep boy in his lap.

“Did they just say our names?” Sirius mumbled.

“What?” Remus asked.

“On TV, I thought I heard our names.”

Remus glanced up but the segment had already changed. Remus reached for the remote to go back. “Maybe they were talking about the charity concert.”

“That’s probably it,” Sirius hummed.

Sure enough, Remus saw a graphic of him and Sirius pop on screen and he pressed play. “In music news,” the chipper newswoman spoke, “a recording of Marauders musicians Remus Lupin and Sirius Black was leaked to the Daily Mail last night which has caused a lot of speculation about their relationship. The recording of an unreleased song ends with what sounds like the two of them sharing a kiss. Fans everywhere are going crazy but there is radio silence from the band itself. Sirius Black may sound familiar as he is the disinherited son of Lord Orion Black.”

The news segment moved on but neither Remus nor Sirius were listening. Everything in Remus had run cold. He kept staring at the screen as if it would give him answers. Sirius, on the other hand, sat up from Remus’ lap and start searching the room.

“Where are our phones?” He asked sharply. It broke Remus out of his daze and he stood up. 

“By the front door,” Remus said and followed Sirius there. This must a joke . Remus thought. This can’t be happening. Not like this.

Sirius frantically tapped the screens. “They’re both dead.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Where are your chargers?”

“There’s one in the bedroom, another in the kitchen,” Remus said and Sirius was already off. Remus searched around for his laptop and pulled up Twitter. It was a shit storm.

Tweets like - “WE CALLED IT!! I TOLD YOU BITCHES!” or “they were never subtle. did u hear the new songs? we been knew” or “guys they haven’t confirmed anything. if this is a coming out, let’s respect their privacy.”

Sirius returned to the kitchen with a charger and plugged it into the wall so both phones could charge together. 

“Twitter is going insane,” Remus said. “We’re trending.” There wasn’t a hint of joy in his voice.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Sirius muttered. The phones were not turning on, simply display a dead battery logo. “Has James said anything?”

“No,” Remus said. “Or at least not publicly.”

“Fuck! This is so fucked.” Sirius paced the kitchen as they waited for their phones to power on. Remus checked his email, which was relatively sparse except for two email chains - one from Marlene asking them to respond as soon as possible, another from Dorcas in which radio silence was suggested for the press.

It was a tense and silent two minutes - the world was collapsing around them and they were sat at the kitchen counter, unable to do a thing. Remus reached out his hand, unsure if Sirius would take it - terrified of what it would mean if he didn’t.

Sirius glanced down at Remus’ hand on the counter and back up to Remus’ eyes. He interlocked their fingers, squeezing them tight. “Whatever happens, we do it together?”

Remus nodded, feeling that familiar swell in his chest. “Together,” he replied, a smile on his face. 

Sirius leaned his head against Remus’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered like it was a lifeline. 

Remus put his arm around Sirius and threaded his fingers through the other boy’s hair. “I love you too.”

Remus’s phone turned on first. Instantly, his phone lit up with missed calls and texts. 3 calls from Lily, a text from Chris ("I know we haven't talked much, but I'm sorry this is happening. I have your back"), 2 calls from Oliver and a text that said, “hope you’re okay. call me when u can.” There were 4 calls from James and a series of texts:

“Did you see Twitter?”

“Sirius is with you right?”

“Please call me when you get these”

“Marlene is trying to get a hold of you”

"As am I"

“No matter what, I love both of you, please call.” 

There were also 6 missed calls from Marlene and a text that just says, “Call me.”

Remus knew Sirius was reading them all over his shoulder, but before Remus could even gauge Sirius’ reaction, he decided to call Marlene. Remus needed her logical problem-solving mind right now.

Marlene picked up almost immediately and Remus put her on speakerphone. “Remus, good morning. Is Sirius with you?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” Sirius said flatly.

“Great, that makes things a bit easier.” Marlene seemed like she was going to say something else but then her tone changed. “How are you guys doing?” her voice softer than Remus had ever heard it.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, both at a loss for what to say. “Well,” Remus started. “We had a lovely morning and then we watched the news and saw what happened.” Remus still didn’t even have the words to describe it. “And then I checked Twitter and turned on my phone and called you and here we are.”

“Here we are,” Marlene said. “Well, we don’t have any concrete proof of who leaked the audio, but it’s safe to say that it was likely Mr. Pettigrew. No one else would have such intimate access to Sirius' phone with the exception of you and James, but given the fact that James called me yelling about it last night, it wasn't either of you. But for now, I think it is better we focus on how we react.”

Marlene paused in case the boys wanted to say something, but they remained silent so she continued. “Now, that audio was pretty damning, I’m not going to lie. It would be difficult to pass that as a no-homo hyper-masculinity moment. So instead, we could issue a statement about violation of privacy and keeping personal lives separate from public personas.”

Again, Marlene paused for comment, but there was none. “Or,” she took a deep breath. “We could confirm that you are dating - if that is what you two are doing. It is up to you.”

Sirius let out a long sigh and put his head in his hands. Remus just gently rubbed his back. “James doesn’t even know,” Sirius said quietly.

“Oh,” is all Marlene said.

“No one knows,” Remus said. “Besides Oliver. And I think Lily suspects but she never mentioned it.”

“Well, think about your options. We’re getting a lot of interview and comment requests, but we’ve turned them all down for now. I assume you have some personal calls you need to make, but call me back when you have a decision.”

“Okay, thank you, Marlene,” Remus said and he was about to hang up when she spoke up again.

“And boys? I am really sorry this happened to you. I am in your corner, whatever you need.”

“Thanks, Marlene,” Sirius said and then they ended the call.

By this point, Sirius’s phone was up and running. He walked over to where it was charging, reading through all the text messages. Remus couldn’t imagine how many panicked texts he’d received from James.

“I’m going to call Prongs,” Sirius said. 

Remus just nodded as Sirius went out to the balcony. Remus decided to give him his space and so he took his own phone to his bedroom. He laid down on his bed, still not made from the morning. He couldn’t think about how different he had laid in it just an hour ago - how happy the world seemed, how clear the future was. Now, he felt like he had been thrown into the middle of a deep ocean and he was barely treading water. 

He looked to where Sirius had slept the night before. Together, he said. Remus hoped to God they would stay that way.

Remus figured he should call someone - Oliver probably. He would know what to say to make him feel better. But just as he navigated to Oliver’s contact, a new call came through.

“Hello?” Remus answered.

“Hey, Remus, how are you doing?” his dad’s gravelly voice came through the screen.

“I’m alright,” Remus said. It didn’t feel true to say it, but whatever the truth was, Remus didn’t think he could’ve even told him. They never did talk about feelings. “What’s up?”

“Well, I was listening to the radio on the way into work and there was the craziest story about you guys. They talked about a stolen song and a lawsuit and then they played this audio clip that was leaked and well, it sounded pretty personal. I, uh, wanted to call and see how you’re doing.”

“Oh,” Remus said. Of all the things to be calling about, this was not what he expected. His father had always been so separate from his music and his friends. Remus forgot that his life doesn’t exist in a vacuum, that his father thinks of him, maybe even worries about him. It was a strange thought. “Well, um, it’s been…” Remus struggled to find the words. “We just found out about it an hour ago, so there hasn’t been much time to think about it.”

“Right, well, you know, with things like this..." His father paused as if trying to find the right words. "It’s best to hold on to the people around you, ignore the rest. They’re the only people who matter anyway.”

“Oh, thank you.” Where had this fatherly advice been for the past two decades? “Um, what’s going on with you?”

Remus listened politely as his father talked about his work and the Welsh countryside. It wasn’t a deep conversation, but it grounded Remus a bit - a reminder that there was a world outside of all this. 

After a few minutes, when the mundane conversation was exhausted and it seemed about to end, his father said one last thing. “And Remus, I hope he’s worth it.”

Remus thought of Sirius, who still hadn’t returned from his phone call with James. He thought of how he had murmured happy memories into his skin the night before. He thought of writing music with him in the studio and how he looked as he lost himself in a song. “He is," Remus said at last. "He definitely is.”

As Remus hung up the phone, the world swirled around him. He didn’t have the energy to call anyone else, not even Oliver. His thoughts felt like their own kind of inescapable weight, even getting out of the bed felt like too much of a next step. He didn’t know where he would go from here.

He wanted Sirius to come back. He wanted Sirius to wrap his arms around him and they would tell each other that it would all be okay and pretend they weren’t lying. He just wanted him where he could see him. He wanted to know that he wouldn’t run away.

James meant the world to Sirius and Remus knew that whatever James said would destroy Sirius, for better or worse. 

Remus needed to get out of his head. He needed to stop spiraling in what-ifs, so he picked up a guitar and began to sing.

Given the circumstances

I won't ask you to stay

Given the circumstances

I would get it if you walked away

Remus had half the mind to record it, but with everything going on, not even his own phone felt safe. 

But all my life, I've been looking for this

It seems fitting that things go to hell now that I've found it

“Do you ever take a break?” Sirius asked in the doorway. Remus hadn’t realized he was even there.

“Why would I ever do that?” Remus replied as Sirius got into the bed beside him. Remus moved his guitar aside and wrapped his arm around Sirius. “How’d it go with James?”

“It went alright,” Sirius said. “He was… very concerned and confused,” Sirius was speaking very carefully. “He thought someone had doctored the audio in some way and then I told him that we were dating and we had to have a long conversation about that.”

“Was he… okay with it?”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “I mean, he was more concerned about all the jokes he had made about it before and he was very… apologetic, I guess, about us not feeling comfortable enough to tell him before.”

“Of course he did. He’s too good for all of us.”

Sirius laughed lightly. “Yeah, he really is. He’s actually coming over in like twenty minutes with Lily.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit while Remus played with Sirius’ hair. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to tell him how you wanted to.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” Sirius said quietly. “Regulus texted.”

“Oh? What did he say?”

Sirius pulled out his phone and read off of it. “You’ve made the news again. You’ll be glad to know you still find ways to drive Mum up the wall. Hope you’re alright.”

“That’s… sweet,” Remus was trying so hard to find the right words. “It seems like he’s okay with it.

“Yeah,” Sirius said softly.  

They didn’t get out of bed until James called to say he was there. In the moments it took for James to climb the stairs to his front door, Sirius had already begun pacing again.

“Hey,” Remus said, catching his attention. “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Sirius sighed out. Remus knew Sirius didn’t believe him, so he went up to Sirius and flicked the side of his head. Sirius instantly turned to face him, looking mock offended. “What was that for?”

Remus just smiled and reached up to either side of his face, bringing him into a kiss. Sirius instantly relaxed and brought his hands up to Remus’s waist as they deepened the kiss.

“Woah, hey guys,” James' voice sounded from behind them. They instantly broke apart and stared down James and Lily who stood awkwardly in the entryway. 

There was a bit of uncomfortable silence as they stared at each other, unsure what to say. Sirius’ hands were still lightly touching Remus’ waist and James was seemingly fixated on the two of them.

“Hey James, Lily,” Remus finally said. 

It seemed to break James out of his stare and he walked over to them with a wide, nervous smile on his face. “Look at this! My two favorite people! Dating!” 

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, unsure how to take this, so they just smiled awkwardly as Sirius said, “Yup.”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Lily exclaimed and then pushed past them to bring Remus into a hug. “I love you, baby. I’m so sorry this is happening.” 

They held each other tightly. “Thank you, Lils,” Remus whispered. 

Lily nodded and then turned to Sirius and brought him into a hug too. “Break his heart and I’ll kill you.”

“Understood,” Sirius said. Lily let go and then James brought Sirius into a tight hug. The two of them looked like they were clinging to each other for dear life, whispering into each other’s ears. Remus thought he might have seen tears in James' eyes. All awkwardness from earlier was quickly forgotten.

“Let’s give them some privacy,” Lily whispered and Remus nodded, leading the two of them to the balcony.

“And here I thought that I was Sirius’ boyfriend,” Remus joked on the way out.

“Who are we kidding? We’re just second fiddle,” Lily said and knocked their shoulders together. It felt so good to be able to joke about it now. “How are you?”

“I’ve been getting that question a lot today,” Remus said in lieu of a real response.

“You wanna give me an answer?” Lily pressed on.

“I don’t know, Lils. It’s all so fucked.” Remus resisted the urge to pull out a cigarette. He knew how much Lily hated them. “I’ve just been trying not to think about it, because when I think about it, I get really upset and I know if I go on Twitter right now or even the fucking news, apparently, I’ll just get so pissed,” he took a deep breath. “I mean, no one knew, Lily. No one.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? James at least?”

“I mean, I just couldn’t believe it was real.” Remus looked through the glass door where Sirius and James were talking. “Dating Sirius felt like an impossibility for so long, so when it was finally real, I just didn’t want to mess it up. And James… I mean, that’s Sirius’ brother. I couldn’t ask Sirius to do that. I still think he’s terrified of losing his family again.”

“Yeah,” Lily said. “James freaked out when he found out. He thought it was fake at first and then when I convinced him it probably wasn’t, he freaked out again about your guys' privacy. I’m glad I was the one who was there; it probably would’ve been a lot for you two to handle.”

“He’s okay with it though?”

“Of course he’s okay with it. It’s fucking James. I mean he’s not exactly the most heterosexual man himself.”

Remus laughed lightly. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

“So what are you going to do? Are you going to tell everyone?”

Remus hadn’t given it much thought before but he knew his answer immediately. “I want to. It’s pretty much already out there. It would be naive to deny it now. I just hope that’s what Sirius wants too.”

Lily didn't say anything, just put her hand over Remus's and let their fingers intertwine. They listened to the traffic of London below. Remus tried to remind himself that there was a whole city out there unconcerned with his love life. He tried to remind himself that there would be moments beyond this where he would be laugh and smile and it would all be okay.

James and Sirius opened the door then. They seemed to be in good spirits. “Marlene just called,” James said. “She said that the subpoena went through yesterday and they got all the stolen files. Marlene thinks that’s why Peter leaked the audio now because he knew he was losing this battle.”

“It might’ve gone into the public record as evidence anyway,” Sirius added. “So him releasing it now might actually be a blessing in disguise because it makes our case look better.”

“One last power play from Peter,” Remus said. “I guess we should start thinking about next steps then.”

“Well, I already tweeted out ‘fuck you peter pettigrew,’ and it’s trending worldwide,” Sirius replied as he went to stand beside Remus.

Remus got out his phone to check. “Of course you have. I’m sure Marlene loved that.” He liked the tweet.

“She thought it was pretty funny actually.”

“Should we do anything else?” Lily asked.

“What can we do?" Sirius asked. "He’s already out of the band and being sued by one of the biggest record labels in the country. I think he’s going to get what’s coming to him.” 

“Wow, here I was thinking that you would demand we storm his house, engage him in a street fight,” Remus teased.

“What can I say? I’m a changed man,” Sirius leaned over and kissed Remus’s cheek.

“Ugh, is that what we’re going to have to deal with now?” Lily made a fake gagging face.

“Sorry Evans, I’ve got a hot boyfriend. Now I can finally show him off,” Sirius said and pulled Remus in for a real kiss.

Remus lightly pushed him away and ignored the blush he knew was sprouting on his cheeks. “So are we telling people then?”

Sirius looked at him like there was no one else in the world. “I mean, if that’s okay with you?” 

Remus’s face broke out into a wide smile. “Of course it's okay with me.” Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius and let his head fall on top of his boyfriend's. Remus looked back to see his friends beaming up at them.

“Awww,” Lily cooed to James. “They’re in love.”

Remus rolled his eyes but didn't distance himself from Sirius in any way.

“So how are you gonna do it?” James asked.

“Well...” Sirius started and Remus already knew he was in for trouble by the mischievous look in his eye. “I do have one idea.”


They were in their old rehearsal space - a broken-down warehouse where the cloudy sunlight streamed through the half-collapsed roof. They had all their instruments set up. Sirius was on drums and Remus had his bass but he'd also set up a microphone. James was standing to the side with another - Remus had taught James his part just a few hours earlier.

The video they filmed had no introduction, just Remus’ soft count in and then the sound of a bassline as Remus sang the first verse.

James doesn't know that Sirius and me

Do it in my van every Sunday

He tells him he's in church but he doesn't go

Still he's on his knees and James doesn't know

James was full-on laughing as the song went on. His laughter was infectious, but Remus tried to sing through it as they jammed.

Oh, James doesn't know

So don't tell James

James doesn't know

James doesn't know

They couldn’t even get to the next verse, too busy laughing their asses off. James shook his head and pulled Remus and Sirius into a big hug. Sirius turned to Remus and brought him into a deep kiss, which caused James to start clapping as he laughed. They broke apart and Remus wore a ridiculous smile as he went to turn off the camera.

The internet went wild. It was instantly picked up by a dozen major news sites. Queer newspapers were already reaching out for interviews as headlines like “Marauders Band Members Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Come Out in Hilarious Rock Fashion,” circled the press.

And the fans? They couldn’t get enough of it.




The boys laid down on the concrete floor and read the tweets aloud, their laughter floating up into the sky. With Sirius and James at his side, Remus had never felt more loved.


One Year Later

“Come on guys! You’re on the stage in thirty minutes. I want you ready!” Marlene shouted at them, and for good reason. Sirius was still in the green room trying on a new outfit for the fifteenth time, anxiously running a hand through his hair.

Remus walked up behind him, snaked an arm around his waist, and looked at the two of them in the mirror. “You look perfect, babe. Don’t worry about it.”

Sirius smiled softly as he leaned into Remus’s touch. “But it’s Madison Square Garden. I have to look amazing.”

“You always do,” Remus murmured.

Sirius just rolled his eyes. “You’re no help.”

Madison Square Garden was the last stop of their sold-out American tour. The year had passed in a blur of screaming fans and packed stadiums singing their songs back to them. It had been the best year of Remus’ life - traveling the world, performing with his best friends, and the whole time, he had the love of his life to share it with.

Sirius turned to face Remus, gently caressing his cheek. “You need some eyeliner.”

“Oh do I, Mr. Black?” Remus teased.

“You certainly do, Mr. Lupin.” Sirius guided them to the couch, grabbed his eyeliner, and leaned into where Remus was sitting waiting. Before they even began, Remus left a quick kiss on Sirius' lips, not bothering to check who’s around. Remus settled into the easy familiarity of Sirius’ hands against his jaw.

“You two are so in love, it’s insufferable,” a voice sounded from the other side of the room. Remus turned and smiled at Oliver. Remus had invited him to the last show of the tour and Oliver had graciously made the flight.

“You get used to it after a while,” Lily said. She had been with them too for the last few shows as well and James hadn't left her side since.

“Welcome to the perpetual third wheel club,” James said, his arm comfortably around Lily's shoulders. 

“Shut up all of you,” Sirius said as he put the finishing touches on Remus’ eyeliner.

Just at that moment, Marlene walked into the room. “Oh, thank you for quieting the room, Sirius. I have an announcement.” She took a pause as everyone turned to look at her. “I just got a call from the lawyers and we’ve officially won the lawsuit against the Death Eaters.”

“Wait, really?” James said and Marlene nodded as the room burst into cheers. “That’s amazing!” James immediately pulled Lily into a kiss and then stood up to hug Marlene, which she reluctantly accepted.

“The rat finally got what was coming to him,” Sirius said as James came over to hug him.

“What a great gift for the end of the tour,” Remus said.

“Speaking of, I need you all to get ready under the stage. We will have a proper celebration later.” 

Instantly, they all got up and started gathering their things. Lily gave Remus a hug as she left to go find a spot in the wings. Oliver came up right after her, pulling Remus into a tight embrace. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered. Remus just hugged him tighter.

Oliver turned and brought Sirius into a hug too. “Proud of you too, fucker. You make him happy,” and then Oliver let go and followed Lily out of the room.

James, Sirius, and Remus split off in the opposite direction, following Marlene into the underbelly of the stage. As they waited for the opening act to finish, James pulled them into a huddle.

“Alright, one last time?” James put his hands in the center and the other boys followed. “Marlene, I don’t see your hands,” James said. Marlene looked a little surprised but she put her hands in the center. “3, 2, 1,”

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good," they all said with smiles.

Marlene waved them off as they boarded the platform, arms around each other as it rose to the top of the stage. The audience was deafening in their screams. The three of them gave wide waves as their faces were reflected in jumbotrons. They assumed their positions and the show began.

“Hello!” James shouted and got only screams back. “Before we begin, I want to tell you a story.” He put a finger to his lips and quieted the crowd. “About a year and a half ago, the Marauders were playing at some shit little bar in London. No one knew our names or our songs or even wanted us to be there. In fact, the bartender threatened to kick our asses if we didn’t move on. Today, that bartender is playing with us at Madison Square Garden.” The jumbo screen zoomed in on Remus’ smiling face.

“Follow your dreams, kids,” James said at last and the show began.

Hey look ma, I made it

Everything's comin' up aces, aces

If it's a dream, don't wake me, don't wake me

I said hey look ma, I made it

From the sides of the stage, Remus saw Marlene and Dorcas swaying happily to the music. Oliver and Lily were beside them, watching the show with wide smiles. He knew that he wouldn’t be here without any of them.

As the crowd cheered, Remus gave James a bright smile. Then Remus turned to look at Sirius, only to find the boy already staring back at him. Remus felt all the joy in the world rise up inside him. He walked over to Sirius’ drumkit and leaned in for a kiss. The crowd went absolutely berserk. Remus pulled away with a sheepish grin.

I love you , he mouthed, fully aware the stadium could see.

I love you too, Sirius mouthed back.

The whole world knew they were in love and Remus couldn't have been happier.