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DISCOMANIA

Season 4, Episode 1

Original Airdate: September 12, 1978

Written by: Rick Edelstein
Story Editor: Rick Edelstein
Created by: William Blinn
Directed by: Arthur Marks 

Summary: Starsky and Hutch go undercover at a disco to hunt for a serial killer. 

Cast: 

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear (credit only)

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Pierrino Mascarino ... Tony Mariposa

Adrian Zmed ... Marty Decker

Bruce Scott ... Disc Jockey

Susan Duvall ... Judith

Amanda McBroom ... Sgt. Lizzie Thorpe

Tom Tarpey ... Harding

Debbie Chaffin ... Rita (as DebE Chaffin)

Paula SilIs ... Michelle

Michele Turner Wilson ... Waitress (as Michelle Turner)

Bunny Summers ... Mrs. Anderson

 

Interior – Day – Squad Room

HUTCH: ‟Intimidation: Controlling People for Love and Money.” Oh, boy. Don't tall me you're into that human dynamics garbage, Starsk.

STARSKY: In chapter seven, they tall you to expect hostility.

HUTCH: Did they also tall you you got ripped off for 14.95?

STARSKY: You can go through your life being a pawn if you went to, but not me. That book tells you how to be the master of all situations, from asking your boss for a raise to getting better restaurant service.

HUTCH: What if the waiter's read the same book?


Exterior – Day – Mariposa’s Car

MARIPOSA: (on car phone) Ma, listen. I still think, at your age, you ought to consider moving out here. I got a house that's big enough for you and the whole neighborhood. Okay, so you won't move out. All right, all right. I'll call you on Thursday, okay? I love you.

Exterior – Day – Vacant Field

MARIPOSA: You should've danced with me, Sharon. You should've loved me.


Interior – Day – Squad Room

STARSKY: All kinds of good stuff in here. Eye control and body language.

HUTCH: Eye control?

STARSKY: Yeah, eye control. ‟When dealing with a hostile business associate, convey your sense of inner strength by moving in close and permeating your opponent's defenses with an intense, unblinking gaze.”

DOBEY: Speak to you two in my office a moment, please.

STARSKY: Is something wrong, captain?

DOBEY: Yeah, they found a dead lady up on Skyway Drive. Okay. Starsky. 

STARSKY: Hmm? 

DOBEY: If you wanna talk to me in close proximity, lay off the tostados, huh?

HUTCH: You know, 14.95 would buy an awful lot of mints.


Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office

DOBEY: Medical examiner claims it's a heroin OD with a trace of barbiturates.

HUTCH: Think she was dumped?

DOBEY: The lab's trying to determine the make of the car from the rug fibers on her clothing.

STARSKY: Come on. You got a name on her yet?

DOBEY: Just Sharon. According to this ankle bracelet. 

HUTCH: Twenty-two karat. Must have cost some bucks.

STARSKY: Come in.

DOBEY: This is my office, Starsky. Come in. Well, come on in. 

HARDING: Somebody said you were here.

DOBEY: Well, that figures, Harding. After all, it's my office. What do you have there?

HARDING: Forty-three missing persons in the last three months and it turns out your girl is one of them.

STARSKY: Sharon. You ID'd her. 

HARDING: Except her name is Gloria Perkins.

STARSKY: Her ankle bracelet. says Sharon.

HARDING: Don't believe everything you read.

HUTCH: You know, I've been trying to tell him the same thing myself.

STARSKY: I keep hanging around this group, I'm gonna get paranoid.

HUTCH: Oh, come on, Starsky. Don't take it personally. I’m sure it's nothing more than your breath.

HARDING: Tostados?

DOBEY: Tostados.

HUTCH: Yeah.

HARDINGS: Gloria Perkins, last seen two weeks ego. Left home one evening on the… Yeah, the 25th at 8:30 on her way to Fever.

DOBEY: What the heck is Fever?


Interior – Night – Fever Disco

DECKER: Excuse me, men. My fault.

DISC JOCKEY: Hey, hey, hey. That little ear sore was by Pavlov's Dog, my little veggies. But now get ready, all you disco monsters for a chance to beg 50 I said, 50. big ones. So grab your clone and get ready to win it because dance contest time's in just a minute.

MARIPOSA: Hey, pretty lady, how you doing? Good? Looking good. Definitely. What do you say you and me get out there and spin around a little, win those 50 big ones? What do you say?

RITA: No, I'm sorry. already promised my next dance to someone else.

MARIPOSA: Promised? Hey, he's not here. I am here. Come on. And I'll tall you what, if we do not, if we do, I say, if we do n-o-t win, those 50 big ones, I'm gonna pay it. What's your name anyhow?

RITA: Rita.

MARIPOSA: Oh, Reee-ta. It looks to me like you have found yourself a dance partner. And after the dance is done, if you are real lucky, I'm gonna tall you all about myself.

DECKER: Hey, excuse me, pops. Come on, Rita, let's boogie. 

MIRAPOSA: Who you calling pops?

JUDITH: Look, I'm a little chubby, but then again you're a little old. So I figure we're even. You wanna dance?


Interior – Night – Police Precinct

HUTCH: What a waste. 

HARDING: Carol Sanders. She’d been missing three weeks before she was found last month by the county line. 

HUTCH: Yeah. Wearing a solid gold ankle bracelet with the name ‛Sharon’ on it.

HARDING: Lived with her mother on the west side. Went out one night to-

HUTCH: On her way to a disco named ‛Fever’.

HARDING: Never missed a weekend according to her little sister.

HUTCH: What about this one?

HARDING: Michelle Brady. Last seen leaving her parents' house sometime last night.

HUTCH: On her way to Fever. 


Interior – Night – Mariposa’s House

MARIPOSA: All the same. The same thing. The bright lights. Life in the fast lane. They don't know what love is, do they?


Interior – Night – Police Precinct

HUTCH: Has anybody checked out this Fever place?

HARDING: Yeah. Sergeant Thorpe. But so far we've gotten nowhere.

HUTCH: Maybe Starsky and I'll have better luck. We're going to check it out tomorrow night.

HARDING: What's your cover, parking attendants?

HUTCH: Look, Harding, you've just lost two cases to Homicide. I hope she's not the third.


Interior – Night – Mariposa’s House

MARIPOSA: (indecipherable) Roll in the glitter. I give it my best shot. Well, now, you'll get all you can handle. Miss me, baby? Don't just sit there. It's dancing time. And time is flying.

BRADY: You're not gonna-  You're not gonna kill me, are you?

MARIPOSA: No, baby, I'm gonna dance with you. Unless you wanna and up like your dearly departed friend, you'll do the same. Now dance with me. Move! Dance! Come on, dance. Come on. Move, move! Come on! Come on! Move! More! Go on, move! Come on, dance, dance. Move, move. Come on. Dance, dance. Come on! Dance, dance! Come on. Move. Come on, move. Come on. Come on. Move, move…


Interior – Night – Fever Disco

HUTCH: Starsky, if you're gonna jerk around like that, why don’t you go do it in a dark corner.

STARSKY: It's called body language, pal. If you look over at that lady over there, you'd see the effect it's having.

HUTCH: She's probably got some weird fetish for left-handed people.

STARSKY: I think I'm gonna dance with her.

HUTCH: Starsky, listen, this is not a pleasure cruise. We are here to nail a killer. 

STARSKY: Well, the best way to do that is to mingle.

HUTCH: Does she look like a suspect to you?

STARSKY: Well, her profile does match those of the other victims. Maybe she's had some contact with our man.

HUTCH: Hey, that's good thinking.

WAITRESS: That'll be $5, please.

STARSKY: What?

WAITRESS: Five dollars for your drinks. I really must. Sorry.

JUDITH: Hi. What are you doing all alone?

STARSKY: I was asking myself the same question. How you doing?

JUDITH: I've had better days. But then I've had worse too. My name's Judith. What's yours?

STARSKY: Dave. Glad to meet you.

JUDITH: Oh, are you really? Because if you are, I really find you very attractive.

STARSKY: That's sweet of you, kid, thanks, but I'm, um...

JUDITH: You're taken, right? All the cute ones are always taken when I come up to them. I get all the leftovers. Is it because I'm overweight? Is that it? You can be honest with me.

STARSKY: No, no, no. 

JUDITH: Because I'm fat, right?

STARSKY: No. Now, listen, Judith?

JUDITH: Yeah.

STARSKY: Judith, you know all those great painters in Europe? You know, Rubens and all those cats?

JUDITH: Yeah.

STARSKY: Well, you never caught them painting skinny chicks, huh? A little belly and tush went a long way.

JUDITH: Thanks.

HUTCH: Yeah, you know, I usually try to stick with the private clubs. But I just felt like being out with the people tonight, you know? You come here often?

THORPE: Nope. This is my first time. Someone at work recommended it.

HUTCH: Lot of guys been hitting on you?

THORPE: So far, you're the first. You know, you're a better dancer then I expected.

HUTCH: What did you expect?

THORPE: Oh, ‛Abbott and Costello Go Disco’ from the way your captain described the two of you.

HUTCH: Don't tell me.

THORPE: Sergeant Lizzie Thorpe, third class. I usually work vice.

STARSKY: Hey, thanks for the info.

JUDITH: Yeah.

STARSKY: Take care.

JUDITH: So long.

STARSKY: Bye bye. You finally got bored with my friend here. Decided to let good taste prevail. My name's David. I'd deem it a pleasure to get you on that floor.

THROPE: If you mean the dance floor, I've already been warned.

HUTCH: Yeah. Dave, meet Liz Thorpe. Sergeant, third class.

STARSKY: You mean I've been having lewd and lascivious thoughts about a fellow officer?

HUTCH: Who has an 8-year-old daughter and an 8-foot-tall husband.

STARSKY: Strictly business.

THORPE: A-huh. 

STARSKY: So, what kind of information do we have on Michelle Brady?

THROPE: Well, not much. Like the others, she was a very hot dancer who liked to show off her wares. The bartender says he remembers her coming in with that lady over there in the red shorts. You gentlemen had had any luck?

STARSKY: Oh, I was just speaking to this young lady. She said Michelle Brady spent most of the night last night dancing with that Travolta clone over there.

THROPE: I think I'll just hustle on over and find out his life story.

HUTCH: That's a good idea.

THROPE: Beats busting conventioneers.

STARSKY: I think I'm gonna lay some body English on that pair of hot pants.

JUDITH: Hi. What are you doing all alone?

HUTCH: Well, I was just wondering that myself. How you doing?

JUDITH: I've had better days. But then I've had worse too. My name is Judith, what's yours?

HUTCH: It's Ken. it's a pleasure to meet you.

JUDITH: Do you really mean that? Because if you do, I really find you very attractive.

MARIPOSA: Oh, that's nice. That's very nice. She's the one. She's my ticket to ride.

DISC JOCKEY: Nope. Never laid eyes on her. Of course, that. don't mean nothing.

HUTCH: What's that?

DISC JOCKEY: I said, that. don't mean nothing. You know, a couple of months in a place like this and all you see is a room full of blank faces and blow-dried heir.

HUTCH: Yeah. not to mention the decline and fall of the Western world, huh?

DISC HOCKEY: Heavy. Heavy.

HOT PANTS: No, she went home alone the other night. She wasn't feeling too good.

STARSKY: Uh hm. 

HOT PANTS: Why do you ask?

STARSKY: I work in the same shoe store as her brother.

MARIPOSA: Let me tall you, Liz, growing up in Brooklyn, no bowl of cherries. We used to rob hubcaps, sell them for a quarter.

THROPE: No kidding.

WAITRESS: Scotch on the rocks and a Coke here. Okay. That'll be $3, sir.

MARIPOSA: Buy yourself a mink coat, sweetheart.

WAITRESS: Why, thank you very much.

DISC JOCKEY: All right, all you bionic zombies out there. Get ready to swirl and sway because the contest is just a minute away. And 50 bills I said, 50 bills buys a lot of pills so get down, space heads, get down.

MARIPOSA: Listen, I was watching you out on that. dance floor the other day. You and me, we could win that dance contest.

THROPE: You like ladies who dance?

MARIPOSA: I can't live without them.

DECKER: Come on, bright eyes. I'll introduce myself after the contest.

DISC JOCKEY: And here we go, my little veggies. Your last chance at fame and fortune.

HUTCH: Does Marty come in here often?

JUDITH: Yeah. A real creep. All he's into is sex, music and drugs.

HUTCH: Thanks.

JUDITH: Come to think of it, I could use a guy like that.

HUTCH: Forget about him, honey. He'll just leave a ring around your tub.

STARSKY: I just got started. 

DISC JOCKEY: That's What I'm afraid of.

DISC JOCKEY: Yeah, yeah. Hold. Hold it down now. Okay. And now second place for 25 big ones, a shiny trophy and a chance at fame and fortune, let's here it for Lizzie and Marty. Okay, all you bionic disco zombies, let's get down!

MARIPOSA: Terrific. Extra special. Greet. Terrific.

DECKER: Yeah.

MARIPOSA: The cat's good. Very, very good.

THROPE: I wish they would play a slow one.

MARIPOSA: Oh, yeah?

THROPE: Yeah.

MARIPOSA: Your wish is my commend. I'll pull some strings for you like you've never seen before. You don't know who you're talking to. This is Tony, driver of the gravy train. I can get anything done, anywhere, any time.

STARSKY: Say, who's that other guy that's been sitting next to Marty?

JUDITH: I don't know. But if you fellas are so interested in guys, you're in the wrong club.

DECKER: Hey, come on, Lizzie, let's dance.

THORPE: All right.

MARIPOSA: Hey, Lizzie, you asked for a slow dance, you got it.

DECKER: Come on.

MARIPOSA: Hey, I thought we-

THORPE: Well, I'll see you around.

MARIPOSA: Yeah. Have a ball, baby. You will. You will see me.

DECKER: Hey, baby, you all right?

THORPE: I think I could use some air.

HUTCH: Starsky.

STARSKY: Hm? 

THORPE: Come on.

HUTCH: Let's check it out. Excuse us.


Exterior – Night – Fever Disco

THORPE: Marty. Marty, I'm warning you.

DECKER: Hey, cut the jive, baby. You didn't follow me back here for your health.

HUTCH: Come on, hot lips, cool it.

DECKER: Where do you guys come from?

STARSKY: Ninth precinct. We'd like to talk to you.

DECKER: Yeah. how about talking to this, huh?

STARSKY: Spread them, cutie.

HUTCH: You all right?

THORPE: Yeah. I'm all right.

STARSKY: Okay. We're taking a little walk.

DECKER: Hey, where? What's this all about?

STARSKY: This is about a little time in the slammer.

HUTCH: Well, Sergeant, it's your bust. Do you wanna book him?

THORPE: No, you go ahead. I promised my husband I'd be home by 12.

HUTCH: Okay. You need a lift?

THORPE: I'm parked in the garage.

HUTCH: You feeling all right?

THORPE: Yeah. I'm a little tired.

HUTCH: Let's go. Why don’t you just wait here. I'll go get your things and we’ll-

THORPE: No. That's okay. It's been a real pleasure working with you.

HUTCH: Oh. It's been my pleasure. You take care of yourself. 

THORPE: Okay. 

HUTCH: Good night.

THORPE: Good night.


Interior – Night – Parking Garage

MARIPOSA: Ah, Lizzie, you meet the strangest people at discotheques. You like my wheels? I hope so. Because they're gonna carry us to my palace.


Interior – Night – Interrogation Room

DECKER: I’m telling you, I ripped that bracelet off of the guy sitting next to me.

HUTCH: What was his name, Marty?

DECKER: If we were that well-acquainted, I wouldn't have ripped him off. He's some clown I've seen hanging around the club.

HUTCH: Look, Marty, I'm tired. That's not good enough.

DECKER: Hey, look, you got nothing to hold me on.

HUTCH: What? Are you kidding? We got a floating pawnshop.

DECKER: So I picked a few pockets. Big deal.

HUTCH: Well, it's enough to put you up for the night. Make him comfortable.


Interior – Night – Squad Room

STARSKY: (on phone) Thanks a whole bunch. Yeah. (end) 

HUTCH: Don't tall me, his alibi holds up. 

STARSKY: Airtight. Possession of stolen goods. He's in the slammer the night Michelle Brady bought it.

HUTCH: Who know who that leaves us with? The other guy at the table. And Marty said he got this bracelet from him.

STARSKY: Lizzie. You see her home okay?

HUTCH: Well, yeah. She said she was headed straight home.

STARSKY: (on phone) Yes, this is Detective Sergeant Starsky. Give me Lizzie Thorpe's home immediately.

HUTCH: I don't believe we missed the guy. We were sitting there all night long. He's sitting there at the table with her. I don’t believe that. 

STARSKY: Yeah. This is Detective Sergeant Starsky at police headquarters. Let me speak to Lizzie. What? (end) Lizzie never made it home.


Interior – Night – Mariposa’s House

MARIPOSA: You wanted a slow dance, didn't you, Lizzie? Because that's what I'm gonna give you. All the slow dances you'll ever need.


Interior – Night – Squad Room

DOBEY: Now, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You're trying to tell me that he was seated next to her?

STARSKY: We're not positive. 

HUTCH: It looks that way.

DOBEY: Well, where were you two? Why didn't you two nail him?

STARSKY: We were checking that punk, Marty. 

HUTCH: All indications pointed to him.

STARSKY: We've got him in holding with a sketch artist.

DOBEY: I'm gonna put out an APB on him.

STARSKY: On Lizzie?

HUTCH: We already did that, Captain. 

DOBEY: Now, listen, you two-

HUTCH: (on phone) Yeah. This is he. You did? Where? Is it still there? Thanks. (end) They found Lizzie's car.


Interior – Night – Mariposa’s House

MARIPOSA: See? Your own private room. The last girl that stayed here didn't treat me right. She's in another place now. You sleep real tight. Because you're gonna need it. We got a big day tomorrow.


Interior – Day – Parking Garage

HUTCH: Well, this looks like the right place to jump somebody.

STARSKY: Of course, we don't even know if she got this far. You through here, Smitty?

HUTCH: She got here. What's this?

STARSKY: What's what?

HUTCH: M. Is that a P?

STARSKY: It's an E.

HUTCH: E.

STARSKY: It's an E.

HUTCH: R.

STARSKY: M-E-R. What's that supposed to mean?

HUTCH: Mer. Mer. Merle. Merlin.

STARSKY: Mercury, Meredith. ‟Merrific.”

HUTCH: Hey, look, it's a start.

STARSKY: What's this?

HUTCH: What?

STARSKY: An antihistamine prescription for a P.K. Anderson.

HUTCH: Smitty. Dust it down again, will you?

STARSKY: We're just loaded with hot tips.


Interior – Day – Mariposa’s House
 
THORPE: Is that, ah, Sharon in the picture, Tony? Who is she? An old girlfriend?
An ex-wife, fiancee?

MARIPOSA: Shut up. It's none of your business.

THORPE: So why am I here, Tony? Do I remind you of her, is that it? Are you gonna kill me to get back at her?

MARIPONA: You're pushing it, baby.

THORPE: Tony, there's nothing wrong in losing someone. Unless you lose yourself too.

MARIPOSA: I told you to shut up. The next time I come in here, you be wearing this dress. You and me are gonna have some fun.


Interior – Day – Squad Room

DECKER: Merle, Merlin. I told you, I didn't catch his name.

STARSKY: You're about as useful as a rubber crutch.

DECKER: Hey, do you know how loud it is in that joint?

STARSKY: One more time. M-E-R. Now come on, let run it through it again.

DECKER: Is this Scrabble? Give me a break.

HUTCH: How'd that sketch turn out?

STARSKY: Terrific. Fits half the guys on the west side. You got an eye for detail, kid.

DECKER: I was focusing on the lady, you dig?

HUTCH: Got a lab report on that capsule you found. 

STARSKY: What capsule?

HUTCH: The prescription bottle in the garage.
STARSY: And? HUTCH: It had traces of antihistamines and barbiturates. STARSKY: The girl we found was on barbiturates. DECKER: Oh, yeah. Along with half the population below 50. STARSKY: Shut up, kid. Did you check the drugstore? HUTCH: Yea. The prescription was out to a Pat Anderson. His office is down the street from there. Oh, you wanna keep an eye on this jerk. DECKER: Oh, guys, let me know how you make out, huh. POLICE OFFICER: Put back the piggy bank, kid. Interior – Day – Mariposa Mag Wheels Warehouse ANDERSON: Now, What can I do for you young fellas? HUTCH: Mrs. Anderson, does this vial look fertilizer to you? ANDERSON: Yeah. Yeah, that's mine. Mr. Mariposa must have dropped it. STARSKY: Who? ANDERSON: Excuse me. My boss. He had a horrible cold last month, so I lent him my prescription. STARSKY: How old is your boss? ANDERSON: Around 42, I imagine. HUTCH: What's his first name? ANDERSON: Tony. Anthony, I mean. STARSKY: And where is your boss today? ANDERSON: Home. STARSKY: What's his address? Interior – Day – Mariposa’s House MARIPOSA: When I first set down at your table, What did you think? THORPE: I saw an angry, frightened men. MARIPOSA: What are you talking, ‟frightened”? What do I got to be frightened about? THORPE: I don't know. Why don't we talk about that? MARIPOSA: You wanna play truth or consequence, huh, baby? Okay by me. We tell the truth or we pay the consequence, right? THORPE: What's the consequence? MARIPOSA: What do you think? Exterior – Day – In the Torino POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3. Zebra 3. Patch through from Captain Dobey. HUTCH: Yeah, Captain, go ahead. DOBEY: The third girl, Michelle Brady. They found her dead on Tyler Road. HUTCH: We'll be there in 20 minutes. DOBEY: Follow up your leads on Lizzie first. And don't come back without her. HUTCH: 214 Carrington. It's gotta be one of the driveways up here on the right. Starsky, you just went by it. STARSKY: Look, I'm worried about her as you are. HUTCH: I'm sorry. Interior – Day – Mariposa’s House THORPE: Did you kill those two girls? MARIPOSA: Three. THORPE: Michelle? MARIPOSA: My turn. Are you, by any chance… a cop? THORPE: Yes, I am. My turn. Why did you-? No, wait. I have a better question. Tony, would you like to turn up the music, and dance with a lady cop? Exterior – Day – Mariposa’s House STARSKY: Nobody home? HUTCH: There's a car in the garage. STARSKY: It's a three garage. HUTCH: Well, what do you think, huh? STARSKY: Well, if we don't find something soon, we're going to have another dead body on our hands. Interior – Day – Mariposa’s House THROPE: No. Oh, God. No! Tony, you're not gonna kill me, are you? MARIPOSA: I have to, baby. You know that.
Exterior – Day – In the Torino STARSKY: Well, what are we going to ? Go back to the station house and wait for a call? HUTCH: I don’t know. Maybe the lab's come up with something on that fiber from the trunk. Like a make on the car. STARSKY: The Mercedes. HUTCH: What? STARSKY: Mercedes. M-E-R. That's what she was trying to spell. ‟Mercedes.” HUTCH: Only she didn't finish it. Man, I hope you're right. Interior – Day – Mariposa’s House THORPE: Please, Tony, let me go. STARSKY: Locked. MARIPOSA: You had it all, kid. You blew it. All that love, out the window. HUTCH: I got the stairs. Starsk. The door. MIARPOSA: It's time to pay the piper. THORPE: No! HUTCH: Hey. THORPE: Oh, God! MARIPOSA: Take it easy. Work all your life for that dream house, picket fence. What do you get? Empty rooms. Strangers. It's like the old man used to say: staying alive's the main thing. Just hang in there, kid, long enough to stay alive. HUTCH: Hang in there. Tony, come here. MARIPOSA: You'll be all right. Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office HUTCH: To tall you the truth, captain, I'm so sick of discos I could scream. DOBEY: Edith's been on my back to take her dancing for the last couple of months. But the old ballrooms we like are slowly closing up. Get out there and cut it up a little bit. I guess you two think we're too old. STARSKY: Oh, no, Captain. Nothing like that. Not that. It's just that, well, to be honest with you, I don't think you could learn these new dances. DOBEY: I've seen those TV disco routines. Just a ripoff from the '40s. STARSKY: No kidding. DOBEY: As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for the big bands and the dances of my generation, your generation wouldn't have your Philly Dog. HUTCH: Well, I don't know, Starsk. With a little guidance, maybe the captain could manage a few steps. DOBEY: Manage? With my rhythm, I'll blow you off the dance floor. STARSKY: Well, this might be your lucky day, Captain. What do you think? Hey, we could, ah, teach the salsa samba? HUTCH: Good idea. DOBEY: I know the samba. STARSKY: No, this is the salsa samba, Captain. DOBEY: All you do is take the samba and put a little salsa on it. HUTCH: Hey, how about a little music? STARSKY: That's a good idea. Grab your chair on the way out. DOBEY: All right. HUTCH: Okay. STARSKY: Get a Mexican station. HUTCH: Right. Here we go, here we go. STARSKY: You got it. HUTCH: Okay. Now, Captain, to a simple four beat, right? You take three steps to your left and kick. Then you take three steps to your right and kick. STARSKY: Now take your right hand, put it right about here. Take your left hand and put it out there. Captain, you are holding one long, lovely lady. DOBEY: Nice. HUTCH: Here we go. A one and a two… STARSKY: One, two, three, four. HUTCH: One, two, three, kick. STARSKY: One, two, three, kick. HUTCH: One, two, three, kick. STARSKY: One, two, three, kick. STARSKY: Good, Captain. Get trucking. That's it. DOBEY: One, two, three, kick. Big strong line, right? STARSKY: Hey, remember now, she's beautiful, she's lovely. Dobey: One, two, three, kick. STARSKY: Okay. Gently, Captain. Gently. Gently, Captain. DOBEY: One, two, three, kick. Ha! STARSKY: Get it, Captain. Yeah. DOBEY: Ha! STARSKY: You're doing it. Oh, yeah. DOBEY: I told you I'd dance you off the floor. STARSKY: Oh, yeah. END