Actions

Work Header

Hutchinson For Murder One

Work Text:

HUTCHINSON FOR MURDER ONE

Season 3, Episode 19

Original Airdate: 

Teleplay by: Robert Swanson
Story by: Jackson Gillis
Created by: William Blinn
Directed by: Bob Kelljan

Summary: Hutch’s ex-wife, Vanessa, comes to town and seeks him out. Feeling sorry for her after she claims to have a life-threatening disease, Hutch takes her home with him. 

Cast: 

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Veronica Hamel ... Vanessa

Floyd Levine ... Boyle

Alex Courtney ... Officer Simonetti

Bill Duke ... Officer Dryden

Dan Vadis ... Cardwell

Severn Darden ... Mr. Wheeler

Joanne Strauss ... Dr. Morgan (as Jo Anne Strauss)

 

Interior – Night – Police Precinct

HUTCH: Fifty doll-! They get you any way they can. They really do.

STARSKY: Good evening, Officer Hutchinson.

HUTCH: No, it's not. And where's that receipt for when we took Bennie out to dinner, huh?

STARSKY: Dinner? That was orange juice and a hot dog.

HUTCH: That was a legitimate expense. I've told you a million times, Starsk, we gotta have vouchers for those things.

STARSKY: Don't tell me Accounting's into that again?

HUTCH: No, Dobey's in there waiting for us, with receipts, if you wanna get compensated.

STARSKY: This is the only compensation I need.

HUTCH: What are you doing, going into the shoe business? Oh, I see, it's the exterminating business, one by one.

STARSKY: Her name's Louise. She's a chinchilla.

HUTCH: Yeah.

STARSKY: I got her for a couple hundred bucks from a guy who needed the money bad. Next week I'm gonna get a little boy chinchilla.

HUTCH: You're a dirty old man, you know that?

STARSKY: I'll tell you, they breed like rabbits.

HUTCH: (on phone) Hutchinson. Oh, yes, Captain. We're all ready. Right. Right away. (end) Dobey wants us in there right now.

STARSKY: Where you going?

HUTCH: Okay. Let's go.

STARSKY: Wait a sec. Louise, don't go away.


Interior – Night – Dobey’s Office

DOBEY: Starsky.

STARSKY: Hm?

DOBEY: This scribbling on a cocktail napkin's not what the Auditing Department had in mind when they asked for receipts.

STARSKY: They don't take credit cards at the Bucket O' Blood, Captain.

DOBEY: (on phone) Dobey. Yes, he's here, but he's in a meeting. Who is this? Just a minute. For you. Says her name's Vanessa.

HUTCH: Hutchinson here.

VANESSA: "Hutchinson here"? You sound so formal.

HUTCH: Who is this?

VANESSA: The lady who never darned your socks.

HUTCH: Vanessa?

VANESSA: Yes, Ken. It's me.

HUTCH: Uh… Hold on, will you? Transfer this to 338. (end) Uh... It's a private call. I'll be right back, yeah. 

DOBEY: What was that all about?

STARSKY: Did he say Vanessa?

DOBEY: Right.


Interior – Night – Squad Room

HUTCH: : (on phone) No, I still look pretty much the same. Maybe a little older. No, not now. Hey, look, Vanessa, you didn't call me just to find out how I look. What's going on?

VANESSA: Well, I'm in town. I wanna see you.

HUTCH: Why?

VANESSA: I don't know. Talk about the good old days.

HUTCH: Well, they weren't that good.

VANESSA: They weren't all that bad.

HUTCH: All right. What do you want?

VANESSA: I told you. To talk to you.

HUTCH: After five years?

VANESSA: Four years, six months and 12 days. Please, Hutch. It's important. 

HUTCH: Yeah, well. Okay. Where and when?

VANESSA: You name it.

HUTCH: Well, I have a friend who owns a place called The Pits. It's on 13th, off Holland Avenue.

VANESSA: The Pits? You haven't changed. I'll see you at 9.

HUTCH: Yeah. (end)

STARSKY: Dobey says we can meet later.

HUTCH: What about?

STARSKY: Our expense vouchers.

HUTCH: Oh, good.

STARSKY: Care to talk about it?

HUTCH: What?

STARSKY: That was the ex-Mrs. Hutchinson on the phone, wasn't it?

HUTCH: Yeah.

STARSKY: And?

HUTCH: Well, she wants to see me, after five years.

STARSKY: Gonna go?

HUTCH: I guess so.

STARSKY: Well, it's you and me tonight, Louise.


Interior – Night – The Pits

HUGGY: Hutch! Hey, man, you are one tight closet. I didn't even know you had a ball and chain.

HUTCH: Give me a cigarette, will you?

HUGGY: Hey, you don't smokaye.

HUTCH: Oh, right.

VANESSA: Hi.

HUTCH: Hi.

HUGGY: How's about a drink on the house?

HUTCH: Uh, Huggy, this is Vanessa.

VANESSA: How are you?

VANESSA: Fine. And getting better.

HUGGY: What would you like, Vanessa, because it's most definitely yours.

HUTCH: I'll have my regular.

HUGGY: Which is?

HUTCH: Brandy Alexander.

HUGGY: You got it.

VANESSA: And give Ken a vodka on the rocks with a twist and a splash of tonic. I also remember.

HUTCH: Yeah. Would you like to find another seat?

VANESSA: Yeah.

HUTCH: May I take your coat?

VANESSA: Mm. Thank you.

HUTCH: Yeah, well, uh… You're looking good, lady.

VANESSA: Thank you.

HUTCH: Don't thank me. I got nothing to do with it.

HUTCH: Four years hasn't hurt you at all. You're getting a few lines here and there.

HUTCH: Little less hair.

VANESSA: Character becomes you, Ken.

HUTCH: Yeah, that's me all right. Full of character. Uh, so, uh... How you feeling?

VANESSA: Don't.

HUTCH: Don't what?

VANESSA: "Looking good", "feeling okay". Let's not talk like we're old college buddies on a class reunion.

HUTCH: Yeah, well, maybe it's better if we just left it that way.

VANESSA: Can you let go of all the nights we fell asleep holding each other?

HUTCH: And woke up fighting. Look, uh, Van, what do I say to a lady who… left me because she thought being married to a cop held no future?

VANESSA: Interesting you remember the pain but not the love.

HUTCH: If there was that much love, we'd still be married, wouldn't we?

VANESSA: I still love you. Separate or together.

HUTCH: Yeah. Sure you do.

VANESSA: Don't you believe me?

HUTCH: Does it matter?

VANESSA: Yes, it does.

HUTCH: Look, Van, we had our shot. We blew it. It's over. It's finished.

VANESSA: You've changed, Ken.

HUTCH: What is this routine, Van? I mean, we haven't seen each other in forever, and you come around a bend saying, "I love you, tender guy." You left me to go look for your pot of gold, you come back with nothing but... full of hot air.

VANESSA: I'm sorry. Ken, I'm sorry.

HUTCH: You still know how to push the buttons, don't you? Well, I don't like it.

HUGGY: I'm sorry I took so long with the drinks. Would you believe my bartender forgot how to make a Brandy Alexander?

HUTCH: Maybe another time, maybe another person. Put it on my tab, will you?

VANESSA: Ken, wait. Please don't go. I have to talk to you.

HUTCH: We don't talk, we fight. We hurt each other. I wanna make you a deal. You stay out of my life, and we'll both breathe easier.

VANESSA: Ken.

HUTCH: Okay? 

VANESSA: Ken! 


Exterior – Night – The Pits


VANESSA: Ken! Please. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

HUTCH: Forget it, will you? Just forget it.

VANESSA: Listen, uh… Let me come home with you tonight.

HUTCH: You gotta be kidding.

VANESSA: Look, uh... I have to… Please, I don't wanna be alone tonight.

HUTCH: So, what's so special about tonight?

VANESSA: I'm going into the hospital tomorrow.

HUTCH: What for?

VANESSA: A biopsy. They want to, uh, check to see if it's malignant or not. And, uh… You know me with doctors and hospitals, and I'm just a scared little girl when it comes to the-

HUTCH: Get in, will you? Get in!

BOYLE: Let's go.

CARDWELL: Who's the guy?

BOYLE: Does it matter?


Exterior – Night – Venice Place

VANESSA: This is it?

HUTCH: It's upstairs.

VANESSA: It would have to be.

CARDWELL: You think the guy's working with her?

BOYLE: Maybe.

CARDWELL: Well, what are we going to do?

BOYE: Wait.

CARDWELL: I hate waiting.

BOYLE: You'll learn to love it.


Interior – Night – Venice Place

HUTCH: What have you been doing for the last four years, six months and, uh...?

VANESSA: And 12 days.

HUTCH: Twelve days.

VANESSA: Well, I've been into jewelery.

HUTCH: Oh, yeah?

VANESSA: Mm-hm.

HUTCH: What does that mean?

VANESSA: Buying and selling on the international markets. If you don't watch out, your ex-wife may become a very wealthy woman.

HUTCH: Well, I'll drink to that.

VANESSA: Care to share the wealth? Good-looking partners are awfully hard to come by.

HUTCH: Sure. Throw half a mil my way. I need a new carburetor.

VANESSA: I know just the way you can make that much.

HUTCH: Uh, well, Van, if you're serious, it's probably shady, and I'm a cop. And if you're not serious, we've both got a big day tomorrow, so maybe we ought to hit it, huh?

VANESSA: Hmm.

HUTCH: Uh, I'll take the couch.

VANESSA: You don't have to be so proper, you know. What? 

HUTCH: Ahmm. Well, I'm a little old-fashioned.

VANESSA: Mmmm. Well, I love old-fashioned men.

HUTCH: Um… Well, maybe we'll talk about that tomorrow night. Goodnight.

VANESSA: Sure. Tomorrow.


Exterior – Night – Venice Place

CARDWELL: Why don't we bust in on them now?

BOYLE: We'll wait.

CARDWELL: For what?

BOYLE: For when the time is right.

CARDWELL: Well, when is that gonna be?

BOYLE: I'll let you know.


Interior – Day – Venice Place

VANESSA: Hey, make that two.

HUTCH: Good morning.

VANESSA: Good morning. Six-fifteen.

HUTCH: Six-thirty.

VANESSA: Six...? Ah, no. Still the same routine after all these years, huh?

HUTCH: What's that?

VANESSA: Up at 6:15. Throw some water on your face, take a sip of strong, black coffee, go out for a mile run, and back for a shower.

HUTCH: You got me pegged.

VANESSA: Mm. Hey.

HUTCH: Hm?

VANESSA: How about breaking training for once, hm?

HUTCH: Mm. I can't do that. What time do you have to be at the hospital?

VANESSA: At 10. You go out for your run, and I'll have breakfast for you when you get back.

HUTCH: Okay. 

VANESSA: Scrambled medium. 

HUTCH: You got a good memory.

VANESSA: Hmm. Eight minutes?

HUTCH: Well, I've slowed down a little bit. You better make that 10.

VANESSA: (on phone) Yeah. I'd like to make a long-distance call to Amsterdam, please. Yes, Holland. Uh, the number is 23658. Yes. Thank you. Hello? Hello, Mr. Steen. Vanessa. I just want to confirm. I have the gem. Hm. Well, I'm taking
the 10:00 flight to Amsterdam this morning. Uh, how long will it be before you can recut it? I can't wait three weeks. We'll have to make an adjustment on the money. Fine. See you then. (end) Hey, Ken, I thought you said you were slowing down!

BOYLE: Mr Wheeler's very disappointed in you, Vanessa. You weren't on the plane to London yesterday as he arranged.

VANESSA: I'm taking today's flight. I cleared it with Mr. Wheeler. Hey, look, you better leave before my friend returns, okay?

BOYLE: You heard about a friend, Cardwell?

CARDWELL: Are you kidding? I like meeting new friends.

BOYLE: Mr Wheeler doesn't like his mules to go into business for themselves. So, ah, where is it?

VANESSA: It's in my handbag. Where else? It's, ah, in a little suede purse. Uh, hey, look, you guys. Mr. Wheeler knows about the delay. I mean, all you have to do is call him.

BOYLE: Ah.

CALDWELL: Boyle, look at this.

BOYLE: Women are hard to believe. You were going to the cops.

VANESSA: That's not true. He's a cop, but he's just a... A one-night stand. Girl gets lonely, you know what I mean?

BOYLE: Yeah, sure. Look at the size of this sucker. Things always seem to work out, one way or the other.

HUTCH: Van?

(Van is dead.)

STARSKY: Drink it. What happened?


Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office

DOBEY: I'm sorry, Hutchinson.

HUTCH: Yeah.

DOBEY: Look, um, Simonetti and Dryden, a couple of guys from Internal Affairs, want to speak to you.

STARSKY: Come on, Captain, what does Internal Affairs have to do with this?

DOBEY: Starsky, you know as well as I do, when someone's killed with a police officer's weapon, Internal Affairs is automatically involved. It's a standard operational procedure, just routine.

STARSKY: There's nothing routine about this. Hutch's ex-wife was killed in his own living room.

DOBEY: Look, I'm not gonna argue with you about this. It's just the way it's set up. Like I said, Hutchinson-

HUTCH: It's okay, Captain. I'll go through the numbers.

STARSKY: Hey, we'll nail them.

HUTCH: Yeah.


Interior – Day – Wheeler’s House

BOYLE: I've been up all night. She was one stupid lady. How did she ever get the idea that she could, uh, get away with ripping off a stone this size?

WHEELER: She came close. Give her credit for that. Isn't this beautiful? One million dollars, more or less, give or take- It's a synthetic.

BOYLE: What?

WHEELER: It is a copy, a fake, a fraud! A piece of glass, and not a very good piece of glass. It's an imitation!

CARDWELL: That's impossible, Mr Wheeler. We took it right out of her bag. She said it was there.

WHEELER: She said! She said! I suggest that you return to that police officer's house once again!


Interior – Day – IA Office

SIMONETTI: The lab report says death was caused by one shot from your magnum.

HUTCH: We both know that.

DRYDEN: It's just routine. We have to go through it. You know it's...

HUTCH: Yeah, yeah, sure.

SIMONETTI: How did it happen?

HUTCH: I was jogging.

DRYDEN: You left your gun in the room, huh?

HUTCH: It's a little difficult to run any kind of a mile with 3 lbs of steel strapped to your armpit, don't you think?

SIMONETTI: It makes sense. I understand you were once married to the victim.

HUTCH: That's in the file.

DRYDEN: Any idea why someone might wanna kill her?

HUTCH: Last night was the- Well, the first time I'd seen her in five… No. Four years, six months and 12 days.

SIMONETTI: Hutch, why don't you just run it through for me from the time you first heard from her.

HUTCH: Look, I'm a cop, so don't do any of your numbers on me. You think for a second if I knew anything, I would-

DRYDEN: You're also emotionally involved. You're ex-husband. It does tricky things to the mind.

SIMONETTI: Just what happened, where you first met her. No big deal. Just for the record.

HUTCH: Okay, Okay. I took her for a drink at a place called The Pits. It's owned by a friend of mine.

DRYDEN: Yeah, I know the place.

HUTCH: And after that, she wanted to come home with me.

SIMONETTI: A little bit of old times, huh?

HUTCH: Nothing like that. She had to go to the hospital in the morning. She didn't want to spend the night alone.

DRYDEN: Which hospital?

SIMONETTI: And why?

HUTCH: She has... She had a tumor. She was going in for a biopsy. I... I didn't know what hospital it was. She was gonna take a cab.

SIMONETTI: Your ex-wife has a tumor, and you put her up for the night and won't drive her to the hospital?

HUTCH: Simonetti, I don't have to justify a thing. That's the way it went down. You figure it out.

DRYSEN: Well, what do you think?

SIMONETTI: I think we do our job and we check it all out, down to crossing the last T.

DRYDEN: You see Hutchinson's record? He's a good cop.

SIMONETTI: Did you see the face and body of the victim? I've seen women like that blow a cop's career more than once. Let's give Hutchinson a good shake and see if his badge falls out.


Interior – Day – Police Lab

MORGAN: Ah, no sign of any tumor.

DRYDEN: You sure, Doc?

MORGAN: Well, that's my job, Dryden.

MORGAN: When I say, "No tumor", it's exactly what I mean, no tumor.

SIMONETTI: Interesting. 

MORGAN: Well, there's something else. Um... There was blood and skin under the nails of her right hand. Blood type, B negative. Skin texture, Caucasian, Nordic type. Most likely between the ages of 25-35.

SIMONETTI: (on phone) Hello, Mary, this is Simonetti. Do you happen to have Hutchinson's file in front of you? Good. Give me his blood type, will you? Uh-huh. Thank you. (end) Let's go, Dryden.

MORGAN: Uh, if I find anything else, where will you guys be?

SIMONETTI: Running down a Nordic-type detective who happens to have B-negative blood flowing through his veins, by the name of Hutchinson, Ken.


Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office

DOBEY: Come on, Simonetti. On what grounds?

SIMONETTI: Oh, come on, Captain. If it was anybody else, you would have busted him yourself.

DOBEY: We're not talking about anybody else. We're talking about Detective Sergeant Hutchinson. And I'll bet my job on him.

DRYSEN: Don't do it, Captain. There are too many things starting to add up.

SIMONETTI: And it warrants temporary suspension. Until the investigation is concluded, he should hang up his badge and his gun.

STARSKY: Captain, Hutch remembers…  Oh, Laverne and Shirley. Suppose we come back.

DOBEY: No, no, come in here. We're all on the same team, remember?

STARSKY: Yeah, well, suppose you tell, um, what's-his-name that?

SIMONETTI: You were about to share some information regarding the deceased.

STARSKY: I don't know if I want to share anything with you, Simonetti.

DOBEY: If you've got something pertaining to this case, lay it out.

HUTCH: Well, it isn't much.

DOBEY: Well, come on, whatever it is, lay it out.

HUTCH: Vanessa was talking about getting into some big money.

SIMONETTI: From where?

HUTCH: I don't know where.

DRYDEN: Didn't you ask?

HUTCH: Captain, I thought she was kidding, or maybe she was into something shady. I didn't push it.

SIMONETTI: You're a police officer, and you didn't push it when you thought she was into something illegal?

HUTCH: What are you trying to say, Simonetti?

SIMONETTI: Oh, I'm just trying to determine whether you're lying, delinquent or just plain stupid.

STARSKY: Take it easy, come on. You're walking a thin line with these dudes.

HUTCH: Yeah, okay.

STARSKY: But I'm not.

DOBEY: Starsky! Now, all of you, cool it! Are you all right, Simonetti?

SIMONETTI: All right, Captain. All right. It's your move. We're going full-speed ahead with our investigation. Any other cop would have been suspended by now and you know it. If you don't want to make that decision, the Commissioner will. Let's go, Dryden. And I'll be seeing you, Starsky.

STARSKY: Count on it.

SIMONETTI: You got it.

DOBEY: That was real dumb, Starsky.

HUTCH: Sure was. You should've let me hit him.

DOBEY: You're both out of line.

HUTCH: Captain, he's gonna hang me out to dry.

DOBEY: I'm gonna give you a couple of days off so you can leave town. No, make it a week.

HUTCH: No way.

DOBEY: That's an order.

HUTCH: What are you telling me?

DOBEY: You don't make it easy.

HUTCH: My ex-wife is killed in my own living room, and you're talking about "easy"!

DOBEY: All right, then, I'll make it official. As long as Internal Affairs are investigating this case, you're temporarily suspended.

STARSKY: Come on, Captain.

DOBEY: My hands are tied. There's nothing I can do about it. Hutchinson. Hutchinson! I'll have your weapon and your shield.

STARSKY: You don't really think he's guilty, do you?

DOBEY: Of course not. But you know regulations are regulations.

STARSKY: You know what you can do with those regulations?


Exterior – Day – Police Parking Lot

HUTCH: Hey, that's my car you're rousting.

SIMONETTI: Yeah, we know.  Any objections?

HUTCH: I just don't like to have my interior decorating messed with.

DRYDEN: Hey, found something.

HUTCH: What's that?

SIMONETTI: We figure you know. Nice piece.

HUTCH: Yeah, well, uh... Vanessa was into costume jewelery, and, uh… Probably fell out of her purse.

STARSKY: That your engagement stone, girls?

SIMONETTI: I'll let your partner tell you. Come on, Dryden, let's check it out.

STARSKY: That thing real?

HUTCH: Who knows?

STARSKY: Where'd they find it?

HUTCH: Found it underneath the seat. Starsk, if that thing is real…

STARSKY: Well, we can buy ourselves a retirement villa in Rio.

HUTCH: That's not very funny. Where you going? 

STARSKY: I'm gonna keep an eye on them. You go home, sit tight. I'll catch up.

HUTCH: Okay.


Interior – Day – Venice Place

HUTCH: Okay. Hey!

CARDWELL: Think he's carrying it?

BOYLE: Oh, no. He's probably got it stashed by now. Forget it. Let's go see Mr Wheeler. He'll work out something for our friend here.


Interior – Night – Dobey’s Office

STARSKY: It's a set-up!

DOBEY: It has to be. But with whom?

DRYDEN: Can we see you, Captain?

SIMONETTI: I think we should be alone, Captain.

STARSKY: Why don't you fill out a form in triplicate? I'll tell you where you can file it.

DOBEY: I assume you want to see me about the ex-Mrs Hutchinson?

DRYDEN: And the present Mr Hutchinson.

DOBEY: Well, don't be looking at Starsky. He ain't going anywhere. What you got?

SIMONETTI: A warrant for Hutchinson's arrest.

STARSKY: What?

DRYDEN: The charge is Murder One.

DOBEY: You guys gotta be crazy.

SIMONETTI: The DA doesn't think so.

DOBEY: Just because a woman was shot by a police officer's weapon...

SIMONETTI: Ex-wife. Had a witnessed fight in a public place.

STARSKY: Everybody fights with their ex-wife.

SIMONETTI: And to my recollection, most of them are still alive.

DOBEY: So you got some circumstantial evidence. It's not enough to bust an honest officer like Hutchinson.

STARSKY: What about a motive?

DRYDEN: Is a million bucks enough of a motive?

SIMONETTI: Over a million.

STARSKY: What are you talking about?

SIMONETTI: The piece Dryden found in Hutch's car. No glass. The real goods. Seventy carats.

DOBEY: I haven't heard of a stone like that since the one from Dallas.

DRYDEN: Two years ago. A homicide and a robbery.

DOBEY: But it was fenced out of this city.

SIMONETTI: You know who was assigned to that case, Captain?

STARSKY: Not Hutch. He's been with me ever since he came into the department.

SIMONETTI: Give or take a few.

DOBEY: You were in the hospital, Starsky. He handled this one alone.

SIMONETTI: There it is, Captain. They never did find that piece because Hutch and his ex were playing a game. I'll add it up for you. Strong circumstantial evidence, a powerful motive, and a million-dollar gem. What are you going to do, Captain?

DOBEY: Starsky, I don't have any choice.

STARSKY: Hutch didn't kill anybody.

DOBEY: He'll have his day in court. What I know and what my duty is are two different things. Now it says, "Hutchinson for Murder One". Bring him in.

SIMONETTI: Help the man out, Dryden, just in case there are any slip-ups.

STARSKY: I'll bring him in. I'll bring him in with my resignation.


Exterior – Night – Venice Place

STARSKY: Hey, give me a couple of minutes with him, huh?

DRYDEN: I'm coming with you.

STARSKY: I'm ending a six-year partnership. A couple of minutes too much to ask?

DRYDEN: All right, but I'm right behind you.

STARSKY: No fooling.


Interior – Night – Venice Place

HUTCH: Who is it?

STARSKY: Me. If you had a party last night, you had some pretty rowdy guests.

HUTCH: They were rowdy, all right.

STARSKY: What happened?

HUTCH: I didn't get the number of the truck that hit me. But when it happened I had my hands on Cardwell.

STARSKY: Cardwell?

HUTCH: He works for Avery Wheeler.

STARSKY: The fence?

HUTCH: The biggest.

STARSKY: Hey, you don't suppose that Vanessa was tied-in to Wheeler in some way, do you?

HUTCH: Maybe she was supposed to deliver a piece, and then changed her avaricious little mind. Want some coffee?

STARSKY: No.

HUTCH: Did Simonetti and Dryden check out that piece of glass they found in my car?

STARSKY: Yeah.

HUTCH: And?

STARSKY: Seventy carats.

HUTCH: What?

STARSKY: Yeah, it's worth over a million bucks.

HUTCH: Well, that doesn't look too good for me, does it?

DRYDEN: My sentiments exactly.

STARSKY: Hey, I thought I asked you to wait in the car.

DRYDEN: Did you give it to him yet?

HUTCH: What are you talking about? Give me what?

STARSKY: An invitation to a policeman's ball.

HUTCH: What is this, some kind of joke?

DRYDEN: It's no joke, Hutchinson.

HUTCH: You're awful quiet, buddy.

STARSKY: Hey, I didn't write that thing.

HUTCH: Well, you brought it over here.

STARSKY: Well, would you rather a creep like Dryden brought you the bad news?

HUTCH: No, it's a hell of a lot more fun when a friend does it.

DRYDEN: Come on, we're wasting time.

HUTCH: Hold on a minute. You're not gonna take me in, are you?

STARSKY: Dobey gave me orders to do just that.

HUTCH: I don't believe you.

STARSKY: How long have we known each other?

HUTCH: Too long, it seems!

STARSKY: Well, in all that time, have you ever known me to disobey an order of Captain Dobey's? Hey, I'm gonna bring him in. Look, why don't you just go and search the joint?

DRYDEN: You kidding? I'm not letting him out of my sight.

STARSKY: You're really something.

DRYDEN: That's right.

STARSKY: Next thing you know, you're gonna wanna be cuffed to him.

DRYDEN: That's not a bad idea.

STARSKY: Hey, he's my partner. 

HUTCH: Right. 

STARSKY: I bet you wouldn't even trust your mother, would you?

DRYDEN: You're wasting time.

STARSKY: I hate to do this to you, partner.

HUTCH: I can tell it's breaking your heart.

STARSKY: You happy, Dryden?

DRYDEN: Let's go, Hutchinson.

HUTCH: Okay.

DRYDEN: Hey!

STARSKY: Please... don't think badly of us.

DRYDEN: I'm gonna have your badge for this, Starsky!

HUTCH: Oh, by the way, Dryden, there's coffee on top of the stove there, if you can reach it. Make yourself at home, huh?


Exterior – Night – In Hutch’s Car

STARSKY: I still think we should have taken my car.

HUTCH: That striped tomato? Driving around in that is about as discreet as riding in a homecoming float.

STARSKY: At least it's got some speed. What happens if we run into-?

HUTCH: Oh, speak of the devil. Hold on! Are we okay?

STARSKY: Fine. Now I know how it feels to be the bad guys. Where are we going, anyway?

HUTCH: Some kind of a hang-out where we can figure out how to nail Wheeler. You wouldn't know any place for a couple of fugitives to go, would you?


Interior – Night – Huggy’s House

HUGGY: Just a minute! Okay, okay, okay. This had better be a national emergency.

STARSKY: It is. There's a warrant out for Hutch's arrest.

HUTCH: We also need to borrow your white Caddy. Well, you can stand there with your mouth open. Just close the door, huh?

STARSKY: Can I use your phone?

HUGGY: What if I said no?
 
STARSKY: Thank you. (on phone) Captain Dobey, please. (pause)

HUTCH: Wonder if he's still in this late?

STARSKY: Are you kidding? By now, there's an APB out on both of us.

DOBEY: (on phone) Dobey.

STARSKY: You have such a charming way of answering the telephone, Captain.

DOBEY: Starsky, where are you? And where's Hutchinson? And where's Dryden?

STARSKY: Dryden is relaxing in Hutch's apartment. We need your help.

DOBEY: Hey, how about giving me some? Simonetti's about to go to the Commissioner, hanging me out to dry. Hey, listen, if you don't get in here with Hutchinson, you're gonna have a new captain in 48 hours.

STARSKY: Well, we think we can handle this one in 24 hours. Look you can you get me a picture of that diamond?

DOBEY: I guess so. Why?

STARSKY: And release it to the newspapers that Hutch, a cop, is wanted for murder one.

DOBEY: You call that help?

STARSKY: Look, I can't give you any details now, Captain, but I think we can nail Vanessa's killer.

DOBEY: And what if it doesn't?

STARSKY: Well, if it doesn't, you can come visit Hutch and I in San Quentin. (end)


Exterior – Day – Wheeler’s House

BOYLE: Yeah.

STARSKY: You Wheeler?

BOYLE: Who are you and what do you want? 

STARSKY: Give this to Wheeler. He'll wanna see me.


Interior – Day – Wheeler’s House

BOYLE: He's a cop.

STARSKY: I'm Hutch's partner.

WHEELER: Why are you here?

STARSKY: They want me to bring in Hutch. That's like cutting off my arm. I ain't going for it.

WHEELER: What has that got to do with me?

STARSKY: We need some get-out-of-town money.

WHEELER: Do I look like a bank to you?

STARSKY: Hutch has got the diamond. You want it. Let's not play games.

WHEELER: Any jewel collector would want a stone like that. So?

STARSKY: Unmarked cash. Small bills. It's yours.

WHEELER: Oh, perhaps I could scrape together 50,000.

STARSKY: You're a generous man. That's 70 carats. It's worth at least a million.

WHEELER: Aha! Why don't you take out an advertisement?

STARSKY: Hundred thousand. No less.

WHEELER: How do I know that you're not setting me up?

STARSKY: Because if they can bring in my partner on a Murder One, I want no part of this police department, this city, or this country. Now, are we going to do a deal, or am I gonna go shopping elsewhere?

WHEELER: Very well. Tell your partner to bring the stone here at-

STARSKY: I may be short on luck, but not brains. Neutral territory.

WHEELER: Very well. Where and when?


Interior – Day - Mortuary

STARSKY: Hutch?

WHEELER: Before we proceed, I'd like to also check for a wire. Just a standard business practice, if you don't mind.

HUTCH: No.

STARSKY: Just to make sure we all play fair.

BOYLE: Fair enough. 

STARSKY: There's no tap. All we're interested in is the money. 

HUTCH: Ah, ah. Take it easy there. I'm ticklish. Ah!

WHEELER: The diamond, please.

STARSKY: The money first.

WHEELER: Of course.

STARSKY: Thank you.

HUTCH: Oh, ho, ho! Will you look at that, huh? Our first-class ticket to Rio.

CARDWELL: If you blink your eye, you die.

HUTCH: Hey, I thought we had a deal here.

WHEELER: I detest paying for my own property.

STARSKY: But not enough to kill, Wheeler. You don't have the guts.

WHEELER: I wish Vanessa were here. She'd tell you a different story.

HUTCH: You killed Vanessa?

WHEELER: Let's say I arranged for her death. And for a tiny million, I'd be willing to do the same for you.

HUGGY: Freeze, sucker!

(Fight ensues.) 

STARSKY: Come on out, Grandma. It's all clear. Did you get it?

HUGGY: Every word.

WHEELER (on tape) Let's say I arranged for her death. And for a tiny million, I'd be willing to do the same for- (end) 

HUTCH: You saved the day, Hug.

HUGGY: Hey, don't tell me I put my life on the line for a peach pit!

STARSKY: We'll keep the lid on it.


Interior – Day – Squad Room

HUTCH: Well, I thought it was real nice of the IA boys to drop the hearing against me.

STARSKY: For a while I thought I was gonna be out a partner.

HUTCH: Still, it's nice to know I'd be missed.

STARSKY: Are you kidding? It took me months to show you the ropes. I don't wanna go through all that mess again. Besides, in a while I'm gonna be independently wealthy.

DOBEY: Uh... Is this the, uh, little fella I've been hearing so much about?

STARSKY: Louise.

DOBEY: You mean, you paid $250 for this?

STARSKY: Two hundred and fifty dollars is very reasonable for a chinchilla.

DOBEY: But it's a king's ransom for a guinea pig.

HUTCH: Hm?

STARSKY:  What?

DOBEY: My wife's cousin, Archie, used to raise them. You can get a whole bushel of them for $10.

STARSKY: $10?

DOBEY: It's a member of the rodent family. As in a "rat".

END