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Two's Too Lonely, Four's A Mess

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“Right here, Gojou Satoru, is where I’m going to end you!”

“Heh, I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!”

“What’s that?! Another ivy references?!”

“It’s Vine, you boomer!”

“I don’t give a damn about that, impudent brat!”

It was currently five in the morning, and Shouko wanted nothing but to commit a felony right now.

Absolutely fed up with their boisterous noises outside her dorm, Shouko swung her feet down the bed begrudgingly, deep brown bangs obscuring her vision. She swatted them away with a grumble, eyes heavy and tired as she slid the balcony door open and leaned onto the rail to see two idiots debating on the backyard of Jujutsu High. In another words, behind the teacher’s dormitory itself.

Shouko had no idea how come Suguru didn’t wake up because of this.

“Satoru!! Itadori!! Shut the hell up!!” Shouko shouted at the top of her lungs, fingers gripping the iron bar so tightly that her knuckles turned white. “Give me a proper reason why the both of you are screaming here this early!!”

“Your friend’s fault, sensei.” Sukuna scoffed with his arms crossed, forefinger adorned with black, sharp nail jabbing towards Satoru.

“Me?! You’re the one who started it!” Satoru countered, mouth spitting saliva as he continued to ramble. “Who dragged me here in first?! It was you!!”

Shouko’s eyebrow twitched. “Want me to wake up the other Itadori and Fushiguro? What would their reaction be if they found out the two of you were arguing something I really don’t care about in this hour?”

The reaction was immediate. Satoru and Sukuna visibly slumped.

Simps, Shouko shook her head in disbelief. “Go back to your own dorms. We have school by seven. I swear I’m going to tell them if you keep this up.”

Satoru and Sukuna were glaring daggers to each other as they left, middle finger rising high with all the taunting intentions in the world. The tension in the air was almost unbearable, Shouko had her reasons why she was clutching onto the rail so desperately to the point her fingers stung when they uncurled.

Having the strongest jujutsu sorcerer and the (former) King of Curses nearly breaking to a fight before her eyes was suffocating.

“Shouko…? Don’t yell in the morning, it’s noisy...” Shouko felt a crease weighing down her forehead as Suguru stepped out to his balcony next to hers, noise scratchy from fresh slumber. Suguru slowly rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, gleaming black hair strewing across his back like crumples of fur.

“It’s because of Satoru and Itadori. Don’t blame me.” She retaliated.

Suguru yawned. “Don’t say his name in the morning. It’s giving me a headache.”

Shouko flashed him a tiny snicker at that.

 


 

Nobara concluded that boys were ridiculous.

Especially her boys.

Here she was, sitting on her seat while Gojou-sensei was giving Yuuji constant flutter of his eyelashes and fleeting winks from in front of the class that made the only cinnamon roll in her group blushed more than she could count. Due to how Sukuna was right behind her, she could feel his malevolent aura, boiling with utter vexation and urge to slaughter their teacher right here and there.

And it hadn’t even been 10 minutes since the lesson started, for God’s sake.

“Oi, Megumi, what’s with your dad today? Is this month a mating season for simps?” Nobara nudged the edgelord who sat beside her.

Megumi spared her a glance as he answered. “It’s 14th of February, Nobara.”

She rolled her eyes. At least he didn’t deny the ‘dad’ part. Softie. “Sheesh, I know. I’m just asking why Gojou-sensei keeps looking at Yuuji like that.”

“Do I look like I want to know?” Megumi replied dully. Right after that, he was called to read a paragraph from the textbook by Gojou-sensei who grinned like a maniac he always was. The timing was too precise, Nobara suspected their teacher did that just to distract Megumi from their conversation.

If Nobara thought Gojou-sensei’s not-so-subtle flirting to Itadori was tiring, then damn, she should be prepared of what today had in stock for her.

The bell had just rung and Nobara was quick to her feet, hand snapping to fetch a box of chocolate she wished to give to her dear Maki from under her desk when Sukuna tugged at Megumi’s arm, causing the edgelord to hum a muddled voice in return. Nobara’s eyes squinted at the way Sukuna’s other hand slithered to Megumi’s shoulder as he pulled the other boy close.

“Don’t you think it’s cold, Megumi? Let’s buy some warm ginger tea. My treat.” Sukuna offered, smooth and gentle. Nobara’s jaws went slack.

Megumi perked up at the mention of ginger tea, leafy-green eyes sparkling in an almost childish way. “Sure.” He said, excitement leaking to his tone.

Nobara jumped as she felt immensely dense cursed energy, raw and powerful, aiming towards Sukuna. She didn’t need to look to know it was Gojou-sensei’s. For all of his frolics and jests to Megumi, everyone knew how much the teacher actually loved Megumi as if he was his own son. Nobara could almost say Gojou-sensei and Sukuna were similar in their own, twisted ways.

Both of them could be so overprotective. To the point it was scary and unnerving.

“Just ignore him, Sukuna. Let’s go.” Even Nobara heard Yuuji gasp in shock from nearby as Megumi intwined his fingers with Sukuna’s with movements so smooth like his serpent shikigami’s, and trotted out of the class together.

Damn, she had to tell Maki about this.

 


 

When Maki’s feral little bunny rushed to her class with a box of chocolate in her hands, Maki expected she would only give it to her with jittery expression masked behind a wide grin and leave the class right after.

Maki didn’t expect her to stay, hopping to sit on the desk causally as if it was hers.

Maki might not see it coming, but it was sure a pleasant surprise. Composing her blush down, she accepted the chocolate from Nobara’s hands and leaned forward until their shoulders were bumping. “You look like you just got back from a marathon.” She murmured, fingers tracing the sweats running down her temple, starting from her dyed bangs to under her collar.

“While Maki-san looks beautiful as always.” Nobara teased with a prod of her manicured finger to her cheek, and Maki chuckled.

“Thanks, sweetheart. So? Is there a reason why you settle on my desk when you usually hang out with the boys during recess?” Maki decided to join her atop of the desk. It was her desk, after all. She shoved the books away to widen the space, shifting closer until their hips brushed. Opening the chocolate package, she huffed an amused breath as it revealed a dark chocolate. Perfect.

“They’re a bunch of simps.” Nobara scowled, and Maki could only nod as she munched onto the chocolate silently. “Do you know, Maki-san? Gojou-sensei was flirting with Yuuji during the first period! I swear Yuuji looked like a boiled crab the whole time! Those two need to find a room, otherwise I’ll find it myself, kick them inside, lock the door, and hide the key in Megumi’s shadow.”

“Mm. And?” To other people, Maki’s response might come out as rude and sounded indifferent, but Nobara knew that it was just her way to pay attention.

“And when the lesson ended, Sukuna went straight to Megumi and asked him to buy warm ginger tea together! I could feel Gojou-sensei’s dark aura without even looking! And hear this, Maki-san!” Nobara exclaimed, hand flailing around as to exaggerate her aggravation. “Megumi laced his hand with Sukuna!”

With mouth filled with dark chocolate, Maki drawled out. “What.”

“It’s true! Yuuji even gasped! Do you think a murder would happen later?”

“Probably. We know how much Gojou-sensei loves Megumi like a son, anyway.”

Nobara hummed, taking a quick bite of the chocolate when Maki was holding it mid-air. That earned him a playful shove from her shoulder that Nobara cackled at. They continued to eat the chocolate together, watching as students passed by around the class. It was quite peaceful, Maki could say. She could enjoy this.

“Boys are silly.” Nobara eventually said.

Maki shrugged. “They’re your boys, though.”

“Shit.”

 


 

Ever since Shouko was awaken by the idiots behind her dorm, she knew today wasn’t going to be peaceful (not that it ever was--).

She just received chocolate from Utahime, enjoying the slightest bit of alcohol she inserted into the mixture with a wide smirk that startled Suguru. Utahime knew her really well, it made Shouko fuzzy in the inside and momentarily forget about the bickering she witnessed earlier in the morning.

But of course, all good things must come to an end.

Due to the teacher’s office’s location on the second floor, Shouko’s desk which faced the windows gave her a refreshing, livid sight of the forest that surrounded Jujutsu High. It also allowed her to smoke without having Principal Yaga fussing on her for fogging the office with nicotine.

Today, however, made Shouko regretted her spot near the window.

Shouko’s ears perked up as she heard hushed noises from below, where there was yet another backyard with trees that served as the most breathtaking curtain and grasses as tall as her calves that swayed against her legs and was so comforting to touch. Curious, she gazed down from the window and narrowed her eyes at the sight of Sukuna and Megumi there.

Great. What are they doing this time?

Both boys had a cup of warm drinks on their hand, their face slightly flushed by the crisp air of February. She could see them chatting rather cheerily, Megumi’s face wasn’t blank for once and Sukuna’s grin was tame unlike his feral ones. She thought the two of them were here just to talk and drink in peace, but then her eyes widened as Sukuna pulled out a bar of chocolate from his pocket and shoved it to Megumi. Shouko immediately fished out her phone and took a pic.

Might be useful someday, Shouko thought to herself.

Megumi had this incredulous expression on his face, fair skin brightening with pink, almost matching the shade of Sukuna’s hair. Shouko couldn’t clearly hear what Sukuna said after that, their distance was too far from her. She was able to catch pieces, though. Something about the identity of the chocolate that was honmei, or how cute Megumi was when he blushed, or a sentence that made Shouko arise the need to clean her ears to confirm that she wasn’t misheard.

“You’re the loveliest human I’ve ever met, Fushiguro Megumi. Other than cherishing you for life, I also want to devour you whole to make sure everyone knows that you belong to me and me only.”

“Still having that kind of thought, huh? I should’ve known better from you…”

Nevertheless, Megumi took the chocolate and sunk his chin to the high collar of his gakuran. Shouko could see how red his ears had become that it almost seemed like they were inflamed. “Thanks, Sukuna. I’m glad, really.” Shouko managed to hear that from Megumi, and that was when the office’s door was slammed open and a blur of white and black strode past her.

Holy shit, Satoru was leaping from the window right beside her.

“SUKUNAAAA!!” Satoru swung his foot to Sukuna’s head that the boy barely avoided, the heel of Satoru’s shoe almost splitting Sukuna’s skull apart. The sheer energy alone from his dropkick caused the ground to shake and the trees to flutter. No doubt it would alarm several students. Sukuna backed off, taking Megumi along with him who could only roll his eyes in exasperation. “Over my dead body!! No one should ask Megumi out without my permission!!”

“Who cares?! I won, brat!! Take that!!” It seemed Sukuna still consider himself as a 1000 and more years old curse even if with his teenager body. How arrogant.

“I’ll beat you later! I’ll definitely claim Yuuji-kun as mine today! I won’t lose that easily!!” Satoru declared, no empty words and all promises.

“What’s the commotion for today, Shouko?” She looked to the side as Suguru emerged next to her, propping his chin with his palm in complete amusement and watching the riotous scene below them unfold.

“It’s only my guess, but I think Satoru and Sukuna are fighting about who could give their chocolate to their crushes first.”

“… Idiots.”

“I second that.”

 


 

Nobara was shocked when Sukuna and Megumi went back to class after recess, hand in hand. Sukuna looked so proud and dangerous at the same time, his crimson, mighty gaze stating that Megumi was his and those who dared to oppose him could just rot underground as he pleased. Megumi himself was a silent, blushing mess behind his collar, mouth clasping tight and ears flaring bright as they walked to their respective seats.

“Woah, you managed to give the chocolate to Megumi? Congratulations, nii-chan! You too, Megumi!” Yuuji clapped his hands together in mirth.

“You actually accepted his chocolate? That’s some amazing boldness over there, Megumi.” Nobara chirped, inwardly happy that her boys finally had the balls to confess. Their silent pining could be annoying sometimes.

Sukuna’s face stayed smug during Getou-sensei’s lesson, who for some reasons was chuckling to himself at the sight. Nobara (and by addition poor Megumi) tried to concentrate to the material their teacher presented, but then Sukuna wrote something on his book and passed it to Megumi. Again, she didn’t have to look to know that Megumi was blushing, hard. Ugh, these boys were unbelievable.

Yuuji, tell your brother to hold his libido down until school ends. Please, I’m begging you. Nobara scrambled the sentence onto a piece of paper with the speed of a desperate spouse and tossed it to Yuuji who sat beside his twin. It was pure luck that Sukuna didn’t take the paper even if it flew right before his face. Too busy flirting Megumi, it seemed? Damnit.

Nii-chan, there’s a better time and place to make Megumi blush madly than here, you know.” Yuuji piped in, his tone scolding like a mother’s.

“Dare to order me around, brat?” Sukuna growled, not missing a single beat.

“Then no dinner for you tonight.”

“… Tch, fine.”

Nobara gave Yuuji a thumbs up right away. Bless his housewife skills.

Time flew fast and suddenly the bell rang. Sukuna was practically glued to Megumi as they exited the class. He still had his twin close to him as always, but now he had his two boys on either of his side. Nobara deliberately walked in front of them so she wouldn’t have to see a show of possessiveness Sukuna was giving. A show that screamed Itadori Yuuji and Fushiguro Megumi were Sukuna’s.

Nobara later heard a strained sound coming from the school’s speaker as they reached the first floor, something alike to someone’s finger tapping its mic before they coughed to clear their throat. “Ahem, may I have your attention, folks?”

“Gojou-sensei!” Yuuji exclaimed, surprised, and Sukuna gritted his teeth.

Something’s about to go down, I can feel it, Nobara told herself.

Girls around them were whispering and squealing to themselves at the sultry sound of their idolized teacher. Nobara had the urge to dash away from there but the possibility of Gojou-sensei had an important announcement to make caused her to stay put with her boys in the middle of the hallway. He never used the speaker before, after all. She had the rights to suspect such.

“Thank you! I’ll make it quick since I’m sure chaos will happen the moment this announcement is finished.” Gojou-sensei cleared his throat again, and he shouted his next sentences with utter confidence, bravery, and folly.

Itadori Yuuji, my precious student!! I got you the most expensive chocolate I could find in Japan!! Please accept it and go out with meeeeeeeee!!”

In split seconds, just like what their teacher said, the school was filled with shocked yells and shrills of “No way!!” and “Why?!”. The voices were splitting Nobara’s ears, she groaned out loud and didn’t have the time to think of her boys as she ran away from the debacle of heartbroken girls. She needed to get out of there soon, otherwise she might go deaf by their wailing.

Seeing a streak of deep green locks outside the building, Nobara fastened her run and tackled Maki into a tight embrace from behind. Her girlfriend let out an “Oof!” at her unexpected attack, craning her neck over her shoulder just to see Nobara burying her face to her back. “Oi, what’s up? I think I also heard some screaming from the building. Is a curse attacking the students?”

“It’s worse than that.” Nobara grumbled, voice muffled by Maki’s gakuran.

Maki turned around and pushed her away at arm’s length, bespectacled dark eyes glancing at the hordes of students behind Nobara. “The hell happens there?”

“Gojou-sensei announced his confession to Yuuji through the school’s speaker!”

“Really? He has guts. Poor Yuuji, he has to deal with sensei’s depravity.”

As a strong gust of wind hit Nobara’s back, she parted her gaze from Maki and saw Sukuna had dragged Megumi and Yuuji out of the mess, scooping them to his shoulders as if they were potato sacks. Just like his twin, his inhuman strength brought them away from the school ground in a blink of an eye.

If it wasn’t for Gojou-sensei who had teleported right before them, Nobara had no doubt that Sukuna would’ve taken those two to his house. “Stop right there, Sukuna! I have to hear answers from Yuuji-kun!” Gojou-sensei stole Yuuji from Sukuna’s shoulder, and the boy shrieked at the abrupt change of carrier.

“Give Yuuji back to me!!” Sukuna howled, his other pair of eyes peeking from his cuts and directing an eerie glare to their teacher. Nobara knew it was a sign that Sukuna was genuinely angry. She could only pray for the best to Megumi who dangled limply on his shoulder. What an obedient potato sack.

“Not before I heard Yuuji-kun’s answer first!!” Satoru retorted, and those two started to run in circles in the school yard, each with their helpless crush on their shoulder. It was such a ridiculous sight, to see the supposedly mature boys arguing over confessions. Nobara wasn’t paid enough for this shit.

Then out of nowhere, Getou-sensei appeared with a cube on his hand, too much eyes opening on its surface that made Nobara and even Maki cower. Getou-sensei had a broad, sweet smile on his face, and he called out to the chasing boys with a voice so sickeningly sugary. “Satoru!! Sukuna!! You remember this?” He yelled, waving the condemned cube mid-air teasingly.

Those four boys froze almost immediately in their place.

“Not that Prison Realm again!!” Yuuji whined.

“Hell no! Get that thing away from me!” Sukuna bellowed.

“How dare you, Suguru!!” Satoru cried.

“God, no…” Megumi murmured.

And so, thanks to Getou-sensei’s arrival, Satoru and Sukuna were tamed. They also received scolding from the irritated Principal Yaga for causing a mess. Nobara wanted to feel sorry for them, but she couldn’t.

This was nothing but their fault, after all.

 


 

Right just before Maki, Nobara, and Rika went to the forest for their weekly exorcising spree, Maki’s ears caught Gojou-sensei calling out for Yuuji from the backdoor of the school building. Only God knew what possessed her to make her feet still on the ground, eyes glancing at them in curiosity.

“I know it’s already 1 AM and the day has changed to February 15th, but here, Yuuji-kun! Honmei chocolate, from your dearest teacher!” Gojou-sensei said with a wolfish grin, shoving Yuuji a large, lavish box of chocolate garnished with soft brown and electric blue ribbons. How extravagant.

“Thank you so much, sensei!” Yuuji accepted it almost too eagerly, lips breaking wide until they nearly reached his flushed cheeks. “I’ll make sure to give sensei a chocolate when White Day comes! Wait for it, okay?”

“Gladly, Yuuji-kun!” Gojou-sensei cooed, arms inching to pull Yuuji to an embrace, but Sukuna clawed at their teacher’s collar and tugged him back harshly.

“Don’t you dare.” Sukuna pressed, his glare venomous and flaming. Maki felt her palms start to sweat. Gojou-sensei puckered his lips, crossing his arms before his chest as he retorted with a childish, sulking tone.

“Then I won’t allow you to touch Megumi either!”

“What?! Don’t drag me into this, sensei!”

And Sukuna relented, uncurling his crooked fingers from their teacher’s shirt. Gojou-sensei chortled in triumph, succeeding to hug Yuuji tightly from the side. Sukuna responded with a hand resting on Megumi’s hip that the boy blushed profusely at. At this point, Maki swore she could spend whole night watching two overprotective simps boasting their boyfriends to each other.   

If a Grade I Curse saw this, it might puke and die on spot, Maki grimaced.