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English
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Social Media AUs, thiccboimork's reading list
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Published:
2021-01-30
Completed:
2023-01-27
Words:
37,011
Chapters:
16/16
Comments:
345
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2,948
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341
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54,859

It was (not) just a game

Summary:

After losing a bet to Guizhong, Zhongli is forced to become a streamer for a month— with two catches.

1. He has to wear female clothes of Guizhong’s choice while streaming, and
2. He has to use a loli voice

After his original irritation has passed, he doesn’t really mind the catches— it’s not like his persona online would affect anyone in real life, right?

Wrong.

Ajax, alias Tartaglia, is a pro gamer that has thousands of fans watching his streams every day. He accidentally comes across Rex Lapis one day— and gets drawn in immediately. Unintentionally catfished, even.

Shenanigans ensue.

18/1/2023 edit: Two years later after the first post Ch 15 is now rewritten! Ch 16 is in the works, please be patient!

26/1/2023 edit: Ch 16 is now up! Thank you all!

Notes:

The idea of a gaming AU has been floating around for some time, and the first thought was to make these two idiots meet in-game. But then, why not make them streamers? Why not make Zhongli crossdress? And... it kind of spiralled down from there, making this fic happen.

Thank you to Joucifer for encouraging me to write and post this.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Rex Lapis, starting out!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Hello everyone!!!!!” Dust all but shouted into the mic, the stream chat exploding into a series of ‘hellos’ and welcome emotes. She was going for the punk style in this stream, with a crop top, oversized jacket and ripped jeans, the main colours being light blue, pink and lilac.

 

“As all of you can see—" A dramatic pause. "I am also very excited for this stream. We will be streaming the trending video game nicknamed the hellhole of the year, but! Before that, I finally managed to coerce that mystery friend that randomly comes into the house and makes tea into showing themselves live!" The live chat was flooded with overjoyed emotes in an instant. Those who came to Dust's streams regularly would be familiar with the mystery person that would walk into her house with tea leaves and brew tea. However, said person never showed themselves in front of the camera, and voices were muffled, indiscernible.

 

Off-camera, voices could be heard. "Come on, don't be shy~" "This is a very bad idea..."

 

A woman was shoved into camera range by Dust. Screams and keyboard smashes erupted as the woman turned to the camera. Eyes of cor lapis, accentuated by sharp eyeliner. Plush kissable lips with cherry red lipstick. Long dark hair, amber at the tips, twisted in a loose french braid that draped over her shoulder. A slightly loose high-collar sleeveless top, paired with a jacket that fell off her shoulders, hanging loosely at her arms. Booty shorts that showed off her impossibly slim waist, refined (massive understatement) bottom and long, milky legs in fishnets. All that, plus a stoic face twinged with a tiny flush of embarrassment. Who wouldn't go crazy?

 

"Fufu... this friend of mine has never worn something like this," Dust giggles, poking the woman's small breasts. "She wears suits daily; suits! The horror!" she gasps dramatically as she ushers said woman into a chair next to her own.

 

"Back on topic! Today I will be streaming the trending pvp and pve game of the month, Legend of Teyvat along with Rex Lapis." She turned to her friend as the stream shifted to split screen mode, showing two loading pages with separate camera shots for Dust and her friend.

 

"... Just 'Rex' will do," she spoke slowly. Exclamation marks and shocked pika face emotes flooded the chat in an instant. Her voice was exactly like a loli’s— no joke it was like she came straight out of an anime.

 

"Okay, Rex— whoa that has got to be the most subs I have gotten in the span of, what, two minutes?" Dust squinted at the chatroom, her pc ringing with the nonstop ping of new subscribers. Rex controlled his character, a dragon-girl, to meet up with Dust’s.

 

“To those who are not familiar with Legend of Teyvat, this is both a pvp and pve game. When you start you can choose your type of character. There are variations, yet there are five main types: assassins, berserkers, warriors, mages, and rangers. I’m not going to go into detail lest I repeat myself, but you get the gist of what it is.” Dust controlled her character to leap across rooftops, cutting the distance.

 

“As you can see, Rex had chosen the dragon-girl prior to this stream, which is, surprise surprise! An assassin-type! I seriously thought that this character would be a berserker, but I guess Legend of Teyvat is full of surprises! As for me, you guys are probably familiar with my attack-crowd control hybrid mage, the pixie of the wind. So, on with the real gaming content, we will be challenging this dungeon first...”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Rex! REXXXXXX!!! What are you doing???” Dust shouted as the two characters died for the nth time that stream. The chat was split into two— half were spamming NotLikeThis, genuinely sorry for the two streamers, while the other half was laughing at their almost-comical attempts to clear the challenge.

 

“I’m not so familiar with the battle system of Legend of Teyvat— you know I’m just here for the lore right? The story quests aren’t as difficult as— whatever this is.”

 

“The audacity!” Dust started, viciously stabbing Rex’s side. “You were much better than this!”

 

“We’re live! Freakin’ live! I’m nervous and my palms are sweating!” The chat went ‘awww so cute’ at the notion, cooing comforts at Rex.

 

Dust clicked her tongue. “You still have a lot to learn, Rex. Let’s just do this one more time...”

 

They did not clear the challenge in the end, but the attempt was top-tier joke material.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“And with a horrendous roll on that artifact— I’m rather sad that this stream has to end on this note, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers— oh thank you CyberJet for the 500 bitties!— since I’m broke and not a whale. Rex, the ending?”

 

“Oh right... where is it again... here it is!” She cleared her throat, taking a sip of water. “I’m Rex Lapis, and I do have a stream handle at www.stream.com/RexLapisStream. I’m just starting out, so any form of support would be appreciated. I’m actually not that into Legend of Teyvat— I’m more inclined towards Echoes of Guili, The Land of the Adepti and the like.” Next to her, Dust mouthed to her camera ‘history and legend nerd’. “I’m right here, you know that? Anyways, I also have a Twitter account, the handle is @RexLapisStream, and the links to both of these are emblazoned across the screen, so do check them out! I think that’s all?”

 

“Thank you all for sticking by to the end~” Dust started.

 

“And hope you have a wonderful day ahead.” Rex finished.

 

“Dust and Rex Lapis, out. Bye!” Both of them said in unison, waving to the camera.

 

The screen froze at their waving before turning black, showing the words ‘Goodbye for now! Hope you will come again next time! Stream countdown:’

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Guizhong, this is still not funny!”

 

The woman was downright cackling, clutching her stomach as she laughed in glee. “You should have watched the chat more! They were almost frickin’ simping, for fuck’s sake! Oh my god... you’re getting a lot of followers after this, Zhongli, mark my words! Hahaha...”

 

Zhongli continued fuming, dabbing away his feminine makeup. “Why did I agree to this again...?”

 

“Because you have to uphold your end of the bet~” Guizhong singsonged, doing a small victory dance in her chair. “Think on the bright side: You can share all those tidbits of history and mythology you have with your fans! Who knows, you might even become famous!”

 

“I...” To be honest, fame was not what Zhongli wanted. But if he were to be forced into doing this, might as well get the most out of it.

 

“Fine, have this your way. But about my wardrobe, makeup and equipment—”

 

“Oh don’t worry I’ve got you covered!” Guizhong cut in, lazily scrolling on her phone. “You’ll receive a package mailed to your apartment within today or by tomorrow with the hardware you need to get set up...”

 

“You planned ahead for this,” Zhongli whispered. “You had wanted me to do this for some time already?”

 

“Whoops... busted.” Guizhong smiled sheepishly. “Can you blame me? You’re top streamer material!”

 

Zhongli sent Guizhong a glare, standing up from the chair. “Now if you would excuse me I’d like to change. I definitely do not want to walk all the way back in these clothes.”

 

“You will enjoy it sooner or later, I’m 100% sure!” She called as Zhongli walked out of the room. Grinning to herself, she pulled up a checklist in her computer, titled ‘Make Zhongli Not Broke (preferably a streamer as well!!!)’, checking off one of the boxes.

 

“This is going to be so much fun~”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

www.stream.com/RexLapisStream

 

Stream countdown:

 

00:00:03

 

00:00:02

 

00:00:01

 

00:00:00

 

“Is the camera on?” The stream shook slightly as Rex Lapis adjusted the camera to get the right angle. As he shifted in his seat to a comfortable position, people started trickling in to watch the stream, leaving ‘hellos’ in the chat.

 

“Good evening everyone, hope you’ve all been well. Hello FrostFlake, welcome to the stream! Soleil— did I get that right?— good to see you as well.”

 

 

Dust: Rex!!!!! Oh my god you’re so pretty in this! DustLOVE

!Dust has subscribed

OutofMora: Is that... full lolita-style??? PikaSHOCKED PikaSHOCKED PikaSHOCKED

Sakura_chan: ASJFWEOFUDHSA This is making me feel things I shouldn’t...

 

“Oh this? Yeah this is lolita-style, I even got the lace socks to complete the set...” Rex pushed back his chair, extending his legs so that they could be seen on camera. His outfit was Alice in Wonderland-themed, with the white-and-blue high-collared frilly dress, lace socks, and a blue rose clipped to his hair tied in a bun.

 

 

Nikipedia: HER LEGS!!!!! HeartEyes HeartEyes HeartEyes

!Taz_ISIMPPP has cheered! x50

I am becoming a Rex Lapis fan— fast

Dust: BWAHAHAHAHAHA Sorry I can’t help it... KEKW

GremlinNo.69: Nice legs you’ve got there Miss

 

“Thank you Taz for the bitties! Uhhh... well... about that... whatever.” He pushed back his chair, logging on to Echoes of Guili. “One of the reasons I love this game is the storyline, especially where they draw parallels to the legends of the Guili Assembly. The gameplay can get very difficult depending on chaos level, sometimes to the point where I can’t even keep up with all the buttons but it’s kind of fun sometimes? And the music—” The main menu music started playing softly in the background, calm and soothing. “What’s notable about the music, no matter gameplay or background, is that they are all played by traditional Liyuen instruments, each with their own styles and stories that mesh into one harmonious orchestra...”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“And the prediction result is... no I cannot clear the glitch difficulty with an A-rank score or above. I’m sorry to all those who believed— better luck next time!”

 

 

KingofPuns: NOOOOO NOT LIKE THIS

Dust: Your cheeks got clapped!!! DustCACKLE DustCACKLE DustCACKLE

PogChamp: HAHAHAHAHAHA EZ POINTS KEKW

SoleilRise: I WENT ALL IN BELIEVING NotLikeThis NotLikeThis NotLikeThis

IamanarWHALE: Serves you right KEKW KEKW KEKW

 

“Dust you hurt me so,” Rex gasped, holding his (fake) chest in mock hurt. “We just collaborated two days ago! Are we not friends? Oh and Soleil, I’m really sorry... hope you can win them back soon!”

 

He clicked on the story, frowning slightly at the redacted parts. “The game really pushes you to try over and over again for a million-point clear, huh... think I might try for at least S-rank next. Maybe bump the technical points as well for the bonus side stories. The Overlord of the Vortex is a pretty interesting character both in terms of aesthetic and storyline— but I have to admit, all of them are too pretty for their own good.” Rex glanced at the chat, seeing all the SIMP emotes from varying streamers.

 

“Guys, I’m not a simp...” he cried, massaging his temples. “Well anyways, that’s it for today. I’ll be streaming again tomorrow or the day after; you guys can check my Twitter at @RexLapisStream for schedule updates. I’m probably going to stream the Land of the Adepti, but we’ll have to see about that. Thank you for watching, and good night.” A faint ‘11:30 already? Maybe next time I should start earlier’ could be heard before the screen went black.

 

Leaning back in his chair, Rex Lapis— Zhongli sighed, pulling off his gloves. His phone pinged incessantly, messages pouring in from Guizhong.

 

That annoying sis you love anyway

 

Guizhong:

Not bad, not bad! Keep up the good work— and don’t forget your wardrobe!

 

Zhongli:

Please, I can handle the dress, but the lace socks are stretching it a little...

Can it not be lace next time?

 

Guizhong:

Hmmm... considering your good work— 100 viewers! Not bad for a first-timer... go for something more casual next, you get to choose this once

Oh and before I forget, make a sub goal!

 

Zhongli:

Sub goal? Subscriptions, you say?

 

Guizhong:

Yeah! Make it exciting!

 

Zhongli:

Like...?

 

Guizhong:

Cosplay, perhaps? 250 subs?

 

Zhongli:

Isn’t it a bit... too much...? Cosplay is fine— but 250? That would be hard to achieve.

 

Guizhong:

Have some faith in your charm! Trust me, you’ll be able to achieve it in no time!

 

Zhongli:

Alright...

 

Guizhong:

Don’t forget to interact on Twitter as well! See you around!

 

Zhongli:

See you.

 

Zhongli pulled off the bow tie at his neck, setting it aside. This was going to be a long long month.

Notes:

I literally just wrote this chapter and have no idea where this will go

Clothing concepts here!