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Our Secret Moments

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You hate that I usually don't open up

I know when I say it, it doesn't say enough

With you close, I'm the happiest I ever was

I tend to avoid getting emotional

I'm not shutting you out

It's just the way I'm born

But I see myself next to you until we're old

You know how they say you got the real thing

When nothing else matters

I love you like that

I love you like that

I love you like that

(Tobin - “Love You Like That” by Dagny)


If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

(Christen - “I Wanna Be Yours” by Arctic Monkeys)



“I’m never taking this sweater off,” Christen hummed, burrowing deeper into the soft, gray sweater Cindy and Jeff had given her for Christmas. 

“I’m glad you like it,” Tobin grinned, focusing on the road and not crashing Christen’s Subaru in a snowbank, now that they were getting close to the cabin. 

Christen didn’t just like it, she loved it. She grinned a happy little grin and reached over to run her thumb across the shoulder of the flannel her parents had gotten Tobin for Christmas. 

“Are you sure you like this ? I tried to tell them you weren’t big on color but-” 

“I really like it, actually,” Tobin said, glancing down at the blue and green flannel. “I have some colorful stuff in my wardrobe, and this is a nice addition.”

Christen cracked a smile and leaned across the console to press a kiss on Tobin’s cheek. “Good, because I’m pretty sure the last two gifts they left for us are colorful, matching beanies,” Christen chuckled, dropping her hand to Tobin’s thigh and leaning back into the passenger’s seat.

“They’re very sweet,” Tobin hummed. 

Christen nodded in agreement and then looked out the window, her eyes taking in the snow-covered pine trees and the flurries descending from the gray sky. 

“It’s so magical,” Christen whispered, a small smile playing at her lips.

“It’s beautiful. I’ve always loved the snow,” Tobin said, reaching down to hold Christen’s hand. 

“I hated it the first time my parents took us. It was cold and wet, and I got it in my gloves and my jacket,” Christen laughed, thinking back on the memory of her five-year-old self absolutely loathing the snow. “I screamed the whole way home and begged my parents to take us to the ‘hot snow’ next time.”

“That’s adorable. We’ll keep you bundled up this week,” Tobin promised, squeezing Christen’s hand and lifting it up to her lips to place a soft kiss on Christen’s knuckles. 

“Hopefully not all week,” Christen teased, getting warm from the tops of her ears to the tips of her toes with the gentle brush of lips across her hand.

“Definitely not. We have tonight to ourselves, and I know I called it a cabin, but it’s huge, so we’ll have our own room,” Tobin said, pulling off of the main road. 

Christen didn’t understand how huge until they drove into Sierra Falls, a gated community near Lake Tahoe. The “cabins'' were more like tiny resorts, dotting the winding road, separated by trees and snow banks to offer some semblance of privacy. When they pulled up to 2321 Pine Circle, Christen felt her eyes bug out of her head. 

“Are you shitting me?” Christen asked, looking between Tobin and the literal mansion sitting against the snow-covered hill.

Tobin let out a huge laugh, pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park in front of the garage. 

“They’re kind of super wealthy,” Tobin whispered as if it were a secret. It definitely wasn’t a secret, though. Not when they were sitting in front of a grand, stone house that was more than just tastefully huge. It looked like a small cabin on steroids, built out of gray stones and large wooden beams. 

Tobin slid out of the car and typed in the garage code. She jogged back to the car, just in time to see Christen gape at the five-car garage and Mr. Long’s coveted sports car that was parked in the far corner. 

“This is a different kind of wealthy,” Christen shook her head with a laugh.

“Wait until you see the inside,” Tobin whispered, putting the car in park and taking the keys out of the ignition. 

Christen didn’t stop gaping the entire tour of the house. The main floor was open concept, with a large stone fireplace on one end and the nicest kitchen Christen had ever seen on the other. In between was a family-style kitchen table, the softest sectional couch, and lots of other seating. There were large beams above, arching with the roof and connecting to an elevated hallway upstairs. The bottom floor housed a good chunk of the bedrooms, as well as a game room complete with a ping-pong table, a pool table, and an arcade machine. It also was home to the wine room, the in-home movie theater, and the sauna. 

The top floor was where the main three bedrooms were. One was clearly the master, which Allie and Bati had already called for themselves with a text in the group chat. That left two other rooms on the top floor to choose from.

“Which one’s ours?” Christen asked, her mind still reeling at the odd mixture of elegance and homey that the Long’s had achieved with the house.

Tobin led the way down the upstairs hallway, carrying both of their bags as she went. She passed the second upstairs bedroom and didn’t stop until she got to the end of the hall, at the opposite end of the house from the master bedroom. From that end of the hallway, they could look over the banister and see into the kitchen. 

Tobin pushed open the bedroom door. “After you,” she said nodding to the room. 

Christen pressed a quick kiss to Tobin’s cheek as she brushed by her, stepping into their bedroom for the next week. She looked around in awe at the small fireplace in the corner of the room, at the large windows lining the far wall, looking out into their own private winter wonderland. The king-sized bed was covered in a fluffy, white duvet cover, and a flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall over a wooden dresser. 

To the right of the bed, the bathroom door was open, revealing a large, claw-footed bathtub and a walk-in shower. The floor and walls were tiled, and a towel warmer was mounted on the wall, ready to be plugged in.

Christen took the entire room in and then turned around to look at Tobin, a shocked little smile on her face. 

“I feel like royalty,” Christen laughed breathlessly. 

“This is my favorite room. They started letting me call it when I was sixteen,” Tobin grinned. 

“This is incredible, Tobs,”  Christen murmured, stepping closer to her girlfriend and winding her arms around Tobin’s shoulders. “Thank you.”

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” Tobin smirked, placing the bags against the wall. 

Based on that smirk, Christen knew exactly what Tobin was talking about. But instead of waiting for a traditional tour of the hot tub, Christen had something else in mind. She stepped back from Tobin, a coy smile on her lips. She reached for the hem of her sweater and tugged it over her head, throwing it onto the bed. She then toed off her boots and dropped her hands to the button of her jeans. 

“Let’s go see it then,” Christen winked, shimmying out of her jeans, underwear, and bra, and throwing them on the bed as well.

Tobin smirked, copying Christen’s movements and stripping her flannel and jeans. She tossed her underwear to the side, only stopping to grab two towels from the bathroom before she pulled Christen out of the bedroom and down the stairs. 

She led Christen to the back door, both of them wrapped in their towels and giggling up a storm, only stopping to flip the switch for the hot tub and the jets. Allie’s brother had visited recently and made sure that everything was in working order, so she wasn’t too concerned about the hot tub actually working. 

“Give me a second,” Tobin hummed, wanting to kill some time for the hot tub to warm up. She stepped behind the kitchen counter and opened the wine fridge, selecting a sparkling rosé that had definitely been procured by Allie.  

“How...secluded is this back porch hot tub?” Christen called out softly, leaning back against the wall next to the door, the towel wrapped around her tightly.

“You don’t want the neighbors to see us?” Tobin teased. She uncorked the wine and carried the bottle with her to the back door, pressing a kiss to Christen’s temple. “They have a privacy fence.”

“Good,” Christen hummed, her mouth pulled into a sweet smirk.

“I don’t think I want anyone else to see you,” Tobin husked, wrapping her arm around Christen’s back and bracing herself for the cold as soon as she opened the door. Tobin moved quickly, dropping her towel on a nearby chair and pulling the cover off of the hot tub. Steam rose from the water, ensuring that the goosebumps on Tobin’s arms and legs would soon disappear. 

Christen shivered as she tip-toed across the freezing stones on the deck. She paused beside the table and chairs, her eyes tracking across the strong lines of Tobin’s back, the muscles in her shoulders and arms flexing as Tobin dropped the hot tub cover off to the side.

“Baby, if you ogle too long, you might freeze like that,” Tobin teased, reaching out a hand for Christen. 

Christen arched a brow and then let her towel drop, pooling around her feet. She left it on the deck and sashayed over to the hot tub, throwing Tobin a wink.

It was Tobin’s turn to let her eyes wander up and down Christen’s body. Her mouth went dry, and her stomach tightened. No matter how many times she saw Christen like this, without clothing and without hesitation, Tobin always found it completely sexy and distracting. It consumed her. 

“Less ogling, baby. You might freeze,” Christen whispered, brushing by Tobin, letting her fingertips skirt across Tobin’s stomach. She climbed up into the hot tub and sank into the warm water, letting out a satisfied moan. 

Tobin followed quickly after, placing the wine bottle in a cup holder attached to the hot tub. 

Now I feel like royalty,” Christen hummed, sinking deeper into the water as she sat down on a seat in the hot tub. She let her head fall back onto the edge of the hot tub, her eyes falling shut as a smile made its way onto her face.

“You deserve to feel like royalty,” Tobin sighed, leaning back against the wall of the hot tub and letting her legs float up to the surface, her eyes on Christen. 

“I always feel that way. You take such good care of me,” Christen replied, her body going lax in the water, her muscles finally relaxing after hours cramped in her car.

“I don’t know about that, but I’d like to,” Tobin mumbled, shifting closer to Christen so that her hands could sneak around Christen’s waist and pull her into her lap. 

Christen sank into the feeling of Tobin’s arms around her, leaning her head back against Tobin’s shoulder. 

“You do, baby,” Christen replied softly.  

Tobin pressed her lips against Christen’s neck, relishing in her warm skin and her sweet-smelling citrus lotion. She let out a noncommittal grunt, which had Christen eager to convince Tobin just how good of a job Tobin did caring about her.

“You always open my car door for me, and you never let me open the door when we’re walking into a building or even our townhome. You walk closest to the road when we’re on the sidewalk together, just in case. You pull my chair out for me whenever we go out to eat. You bring me coffee or my favorite snacks when I’m grumpy or having a bad day. You give me head scratches or back rubs after a hard test or tough game. You do so much for me,” Christen continued, listing just some of the ways Tobin took care of her. 

“All easy things to do,” Tobin whispered, running the tip of her nose along Christen’s neck before placing a kiss at the back of her jaw. 

“They’re not, though,” Christen disagreed. “They seem easy to you because caring about me is almost second nature to you. But they’re not easy, so don’t write them off like they are, Tobs,” she added quietly, her eyes fluttering at the slight nip of Tobin’s teeth on her neck. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Tobin murmured against Christen’s skin. 

“Do you want to know the thing you do that makes me feel the most cared for?” Christen whispered, sinking further into Tobin’s embrace.

“What’s that?” Tobin asked, splaying her fingers across Christen’s stomach and resting her chin on Christen’s shoulder. 

“It’s this look you give me,” Christen hummed, her hips twitching slightly as Tobin’s fingers started to dance across her stomach.

“What kind of a look?” Tobin breathed out, kissing the back of Christen’s shoulder. 

“It’s soft, like you’re asking me if I’m okay. You just silently check in with me and calm me and comfort me and love me, all with the same look. It’s a look reserved only for me,” Christen replied, her breath catching slightly when Tobin’s tongue darted out to swipe across her shoulder. 

“It is just for you, you know,” Tobin whispered against Christen’s shoulder blade, her lips stilling for a second. “I’ve never felt anything remotely close to this kind of love and care for anyone else.”

Christen let Tobin’s gentle words and gentler touches carry her along. She was weightless, boneless in Tobin’s arms, completely at the mercy of her lips and her love.

Tobin let her fingers move slowly, absentmindedly, gently down Christen’s stomach, over her hips, along the top of her thighs. She touched without urgency, taking her time to brush her fingers over Christen’s smooth skin and move her mouth from Christen’s shoulder to her neck, to her jaw, to her cheek, to her lips and back again. She listened for Christen’s breath to hitch and watched for Christen’s tongue to slip out of her mouth and wet her bottom lip. She enjoyed every single second of holding Christen, of touching her, of watching her. 

Tobin didn’t want to forget this singular moment. She wanted to return to it in the future, likely when they were playing for teams across the country from one another. She wanted to replay this moment and find peace. 

“It’s this too,” Christen breathed, her eyes screwed shut in pleasure as Tobin slowly teased her, as she languidly built her up.

“Hmm?” Tobin mumbled, brushing her fingers over Christen’s hip bone and sucking gently on Christen’s pulse point. 

“How you love me. How you touch me. The way you care is in everything you do, especially this,” Christen husked, a broken moan leaving her lips as Tobin sucked harder on her neck.

“I love touching you,” Tobin hummed, soothing Christen’s pulse point with her tongue. 

“Then touch me already,” Christen whispered, wrapping her fingers around Tobin’s wrist and guiding their hands between her legs.

Tobin couldn’t help the grin that slid across her face. She loved working Christen up. She loved knowing that she could make Christen all hot and bothered. She loved when Christen moved her hand to where she needed it. Tobin wasn’t surprised by how warm and slick Christen was. They’d done this in enough bathtubs that the feeling no longer shocked her. Even still, she couldn’t keep the soft groan in her throat when she felt how much Christen wanted her. That would never change. 

“God, baby,” Christen husked, jerking her hips up into Tobin’s touch. She kept her fingers wrapped around Tobin’s wrist, tightening her grasp as jolts of pleasure shot through her. 

Tobin moved two fingers to where Christen guided her. She brushed her fingertips lightly, finding a spot that made Christen’s hips jerk forward. Adding more pressure, she dragged her fingertips over the spot, her pointer finger and middle finger alternating between moving forward and backward.

Christen moaned, breathy and broken and blissed out. “So good. You always make me feel so good.”

“I learned from the best,” Tobin smirked, not slowing her fingers.  

Christen’s breathy laugh got caught in her throat and morphed into a strangled gasp as Tobin teasingly pushed two fingers inside of her and slipped back out just as quickly.

Tobin kissed along Christen’s neck, enjoying every tiny movement she could feel beneath her lips and fingers. She could feel Christen’s hips jerk, her legs twitch, her throat bob with each swallow, her chest heave with each breath. 

Tobin didn’t increase her pace. She didn’t change what she was doing, enjoying each of Christen’s sounds and pacing herself, holding herself back, so that Christen would ask for what she needed. 

“I do love taking care of you,” Tobin admitted, grazing her teeth against the back of Christen’s jaw. 

Christen reached her free hand up and wrapped it around the back of Tobin’s neck, her fingers sliding up into Tobin’s messy bun and tugging not so gently at it. She was burning up and hurtling toward the edge, moments from coming undone, feeling absolutely everything all at once. Every flick of Tobin’s wrist, every bite and subsequent soothe, every word that left Tobin’s lips that dripped with sex and desire, it was everything

Christen couldn’t even formulate a response, words were beyond possible at this point. She simply tightened her hold on Tobin’s wrist and pushed Tobin’s hand further down, silently asking for what she wanted, as gasps and whines escaped her recklessly, without permission.

Tobin wasn’t strong enough to tease or slow her pace. She wasn’t strong enough to deny anything from the woman she loved most in the world, so she slipped her fingers inside, just where Christen wanted her. She curled her fingers and held onto Christen’s hips with her other hand, enjoying how heedlessly Christen arched away from her. Seeing Christen like this, completely overwhelmed by the throes of pleasure, completely blissed out because of her touch, made Tobin’s entire body run hot. She could never and would never forget the sounds that Christen made or the way her eyebrows scrunched together or the way her skin flushed right before she toppled over the edge. 

Christen tightened her hold on Tobin’s wrist and on the back of Tobin’s neck as she hit her peak, as she came hard and loud and with words of love on her lips. All she could do after was breathe for a few moments, feeling Tobin slowly guide her back down to earth with gentle caresses and curls of her fingers before removing her hand completely. 

“Fuck, baby,” Christen gasped, loosening her grip on Tobin’s wrist so she could hold her hand to her forehead. She wiped at the sweat on her brow, as her chest continued to heave. 

“I love you,” Tobin mumbled, kissing Christen’s shoulder gently. 

“Mmm, I love you too,” Christen hummed, a lazy smile on her face as she finally came down from her high, as she regained feeling and composure. 

“I don’t think you understand how beautiful you are when I’m touching you like that,” Tobin whispered. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Christen felt a fierce blush heat her cheeks at Tobin’s compliment, her lazy smile turning a bit bashful. She moved from Tobin’s lap and turned around, placing her legs on either side of Tobin’s hips. Christen dropped into Tobin’s lap, her blush still present and her eyes holding a bit of wonder in them, even after all this time. 

“I never know what to say when you say things like that to me. Nothing feels like enough, and thank you feels too...small,” Christen whispered, cradling Tobin’s face between her hands.

“You don’t need to thank me or say anything,” Tobin chuckled. “It wasn’t a compliment. It’s just a fact.”

Christen shook her head slightly, completely enamored with the small smile tugging at Tobin’s lips and the love swirling around in her eyes. 

“If there’s nothing I can say, is there anything I can do ?” Christen teased, leaning forward to nuzzle her nose along Tobin’s.

“There’s definitely something you can do,” Tobin hummed, eyeing Christen’s body in front of her own. 

Christen sank further into Tobin’s lap, a coy smile playing at her lips as she set out to do just that. 

“Shit,” Tobin yelped, pulling her hand away from the metal pot that she’d grabbed without a potholder. 

“What? What happened?” Christen called from upstairs, poking her head out of the bedroom, alarm making her voice higher pitched than normal

“Nothing,” Tobin squeaked, an unconvincing smile on her face. 

Christen wrapped the fluffy robe tighter around herself and stepped out of the bedroom. She looked between Tobin’s smile, the pot on the stove, and the way Tobin’s hand was held behind her back, her eyes narrowing. 

“Run it under cold water, baby. I’ll find the first aid kit,” Christen said, pointing at the sink.

“At least it’s my right hand,” Tobin smirked, turning on the water and leaning against the counter over the sink. 

Christen shook her head. “Sometimes I prefer the right!” she called over her shoulder, walking back into the bedroom.

Tobin’s smile fell. Her eyes widened, and her head whipped around to the banister that Christen had been standing behind seconds ago. 

“Wait, really?” she called, her voice more alarmed than when she’d touched the pot. 

Christen pulled her hair into a messy bun, an amused smile on her face at how panicked Tobin sounded now . After sliding into one of Tobin’s t-shirts and pulling on a pair of Tobin’s sweats too, Christen grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and stepped back up to the banister. 

“Really,” she winked, heading for the stairs so she could join Tobin in the kitchen.

“Well, crap,” Tobin grumbled, turning around to grab the pot with a potholder. She poured the pasta into the strainer, steam fogging her glasses instantly. 

Christen’s smile grew at the way Tobin tried to dodge the steam, unsuccessfully. “Come here,” Christen instructed, hopping up onto the counter and setting the first aid kit by her leg. 

Tobin put the empty pot back on the stove and slid up to the counter between Christen’s knees. She put both of her hands on Christen’s legs, squeezing her thighs lightly. 

“Cute sweatpants. They look super familiar,” Tobin teased. 

“Hush, you love when I wear your clothes. Now let me get back into sexy doctor mode,” Christen grinned, grabbing Tobin’s right hand and looking at it. The heel of her hand was red and angry and slightly blistered already. 

“Oh, baby,” Christen hummed, lifting the hand to her lips and pressing a gentle kiss to it.

“It’s a sign from the universe that I shouldn’t learn to cook,” Tobin winked. 

“No, it’s a sign you shouldn’t cook alone ,” Christen chuckled, holding Tobin’s hand in one of her own, and reaching for a Band-Aid and some ointment in the first aid kit. She treated the burn efficiently but with care, smoothing out the ointment and then placing the bandage over it. She kissed the Band-Aid once she was done and finally looked up at Tobin.

“What?” Christen asked, her eyebrow arching at the serious expression on Tobin’s face.

Tobin shrugged, a little bashfully. “You love me,” she hummed after a moment. “And I’d like to have this forever,” she added, motioning between the two of them. 

“I do,” Christen agreed with a smile. “And you will. We will,” she assured quietly, pressing her lips against Tobin’s, sealing the promise with a kiss. After a few moments of trading lazy kisses back and forth, they were both smiling far too much to continue. 

“Veggies are done and so is the pasta sauce, so we’re set,” Tobin said. “I can be all fancy and serve you at the table if you want.”

“Take that bandaged hand over to the table. I’ll serve you ,” Christen replied, kissing Tobin quickly and then hopping off the counter. 

Tobin snagged the rosé bottle that they’d sipped on during their time in the hot tub, filling the two glasses at the table before taking a seat. She watched Christen move around the kitchen, an overwhelming feeling of love and comfort filling her chest. There was something so domestic and warm and sweet about cooking for Christen and watching Christen serve their plates. 

Dinner passed quickly, just like time always did between them. But it passed in a good way, full of jokes and sweet words and lingering looks. Despite their desire to slow the evening down, to make these moments last forever, they couldn’t. But they could make the most of them, could infuse forever into the moments. And that was just what they did. Forever was in the moments when they washed the dishes together, when Tobin threw a handful of soapy water at Christen once the dishes were done, when Christen chased Tobin all the way upstairs, tackling her down onto the bed when their laughter and smiles turned to kisses and wandering hands and discarded clothing- 

“Was that okay?” Tobin asked, her voice a tiny bit insecure as she looked over at Christen. 

“Was that- jeez, Tobs. I can’t believe you just asked me that after giving me the best fucking orgasm of my life ,” Christen panted, pushing both hands through her hair.

“It was my left hand,” Tobin shrugged, her voice quiet despite the grin that was sliding on her face at Christen’s response. 

“Your left hand is my favorite,” Christen replied, looking over at Tobin and feeling a smile spread across her face.

“Cool,” Tobin whispered, curling up next to Christen and wrapping her arm around Christen’s waist. 

Christen laughed at Tobin’s single-word response, pulling Tobin closer to her with a hand on Tobin’s back. She let her fingertips trail up and down Tobin’s bare back, feeling Tobin’s breathing dance across her chest.

“Nothing beats your mouth though,” Christen hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of Tobin’s head.

“Say no more,” Tobin smirked, pushing herself off of Christen and slowly making her way between Christen’s legs. 


“The party can officially start! Gooooood morning, sleepyheads,” Allie cooed, shoving the bedroom door open. 

“I thought you locked the door,” Christen grumbled, burying her face further into the crook of Tobin’s neck. 

Tobin let out a soft grunt, her brain not fully awake yet. She wrapped her arm tighter around Christen, shoving her face into her pillow. 

“This is cute,” Allie sing-songed, dropping her purse by the door and slipping her shoes off. 

“Your impromptu wake up call is not,” Christen grumpily growled, wishing she could burrow so far into Tobin’s arms that she could pretend Allie freaking Long hadn’t just interrupted the best dream ever, involving that glass shower sitting in their bathroom and Tobin gloriously naked, pressed up against the glass. 

“I missed you guys too,” Allie chirped, crawling onto the bed and wrapping her arms around both of their shoulders. She shoved her body in between Tobin’s and Christen’s, squirming slightly to get them to make space for her. 

“Harry,” Tobin hissed. “We’ll be up in a minute. Leave us alone.”

“I’m going to ignore that you two are definitely naked and just embrace the fact that the band is back together!” Allie squealed.

“HARRY!” Tobin barked, ripping a pillow out from under her head and hitting Allie with it. Unfortunately, the sheet slipped a little with her movement. 

“OOOOOH boob slip, Harry!” Allie laughed, turning away from Tobin and her newly revealed skin. “She’s so hot, C.P. And your hickey work is exceptional!”

Christen flushed and wiggled out of Allie’s grasp, pulling the sheets over her head. “I hate this,” Christen muttered.

“BABE!” Bati yelled from downstairs

“I’M BONDING!” Allie yelled back. 


“Ugh. Duty calls. It’s good to see you both...a little more of you than I thought I’d see. Those little mosquito bites you had at 16 have definitely blossomed, Harry! Anywho, get dressed. We brought doughnuts!” Allie practically sang, bouncing off the bed. She pressed a kiss to the top of Tobin’s head before she sauntered out of the bedroom. 

Christen waited for the bedroom door to click shut before peeking her head out from under the sheets. 

“Well, now she’s seen both of our boobs,” Christen sighed, turning over to look at Tobin with a small, embarrassed smile.

“She can mark that off her bucket list,” Tobin grumbled, rolling onto her stomach, closer to Christen. 

“At least she brought doughnuts,” Christen replied.

“They better be the world’s best doughnuts,” Tobin sighed, turning her head toward Christen and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“DID YOU GUYS ALREADY USE THE HOT TUB WITHOUT US?” Allie yelled from downstairs.

All Christen and Tobin could do was laugh.

“We must have hydroplaned three times!” Megan gasped, throwing open the doughnut box and shoving one in her mouth. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Kelley protested, her mouth full of a powdered doughnut. Powder flew from her lips and onto the floor. 

“Ugh, Mia how do you deal with her?” Allie scrunched up her nose playfully, setting down a fresh carafe of coffee down on the large kitchen table everyone was sitting around.

“Some of the good qualities outweigh the bad,” Mia shrugged. 

Some ?” Kelley replied, turning to narrow her eyes playfully at Mia.

“A few,” Mia nodded, wrapping her arms around Kelley’s waist and pressing a kiss to her powder-covered lips. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Tobin mumbled. Christen giggled and dropped her head onto Tobin’s shoulder, scooting closer to her on the bench seat. 

“Oh please, you two were so much worse!” Megan retorted. “You still are!”

“Preath is adorable, though,” Allie sighed. “I’ve missed them.”

“We missed you guys, too,” Christen said, looking around the table at all of their friends. Her gaze finally settled on Mia and she grinned. “And you’re brave for joining us. This is not an easy group to crash, just ask Tobs here,” she added, squeezing Tobin’s bicep gently as she spoke. 

“Tobin may have mentioned that,” Mia laughed. “We shared horror stories when we got bored in class last semester.”

“These guys talk a big game, but they’re all a bunch of softies,” Sue replied with a smile for Mia, stealing the doughnut hole from Megan’s hand and plopping it into her mouth.

“Nah, Kelley and Pinoe really do suck,” Tobin teased, sipping her coffee and accepting the glares she got from both of the girls across the table. 

“We’re here!” Crystal called from the front door, peeking in before she fully stepped into the house. 

“There’s the best one!” Tobin called. 

“Excuse me?” Christen teased, lifting off of  Tobin’s shoulder with a feigned shocked expression.

“I say best one, as in best one of your friends. You’re the best of the best,” Tobin clarified. 

“Cute recovery,” Christen hummed, kissing Tobin quickly before jumping off the bench seat. She ran over and wrapped Crystal up in a tight hug, before doing the same with Pierre.

“Yes, another dude!” Bati cheered, greeting Pierre with an excited handshake.

“He was starting to think all of my friends were gay ladies,” Allie laughed, poking Tobin in the cheek. “He might have been thinking that about me too after I told him about your boobs this morning. I went into some detail...”

“They are her finest feature,” Christen winked, sliding down into Tobin’s lap and grabbing another doughnut.

“I’m sorry, what did I miss this morning?” Kelley asked, her eyes darting between Allie and Tobin. 

“Nothing! I’ve just decided that I’m gonna see everyone’s boobs before this weekend is over,” Allie declared, earning her an eye roll from Bati. “From what I’ve seen so far, C.P. 's are definitely better than Harry’s. So C.P.’s the one to beat, gang!”

“Crystal, I love your friends,” Pierre said, wrapping his arms around Crystal from behind and smiling at everyone sitting around the table. 

“So, now that everyone’s here, how do we feel about shots?” Allie asked, bouncing in her seat with excitement. 

“Long, it is 11 in the morning,” Sue deadpanned.

“Yes, and?” Allie asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“And if we want to live to see Tequila-infused Truth or Dare tonight, we shouldn’t start so early,” Crystal reasoned.

“Fine,” Allie sighed. “Harry and I will just do one before we all head to the slopes. We’re leaving in thirty minutes!” 

“What?” Tobin asked, her eyes doubling in size at Allie’s demand. 

“Have fun baby,” Christen whispered, pressing a kiss to Tobin’s cheek and jumping up to go get ready with Crystal.

“Don’t leave me,” Tobin whined, as Allie pulled her to the freezer where she kept the vodka. 

“But it gives you such a good view when I do leave,” Christen winked, throwing an extra sway to her hips as she followed Crystal toward the stairs leading to the bottom floor. 

All Tobin could do was watch Christen walk away, admiring that perfect view.

“Buckle up, Harry. I said one shot, but I think two will help us take on the black diamond slopes a little better,” Allie said, sloshing vodka into two large shot glasses. 

Tobin screamed the entire way down the black diamond, not really sober enough to handle the moguls that dotted the slope. Two shots had ended up being more like three with the size of the shot glasses, and she was plummeting much faster than she’d planned. Christen and Crystal were behind her somewhere, making their way down the mountain, curving around the moguls, and actually snowboarding. 

Christen had trouble getting down the mountain because she was just laughing too hard at Tobin. She and Crystal, along with Mia and Kelley, ambled down the mountain with a lot less screaming and a lot more ease. They traded light conversation and jokes as they handled the moguls and the fresh powder, enjoying the chance to get to know Mia and the chance to tease Kelley about her heart eyes.

When they reached the bottom, they found Allie and Tobin lying against a snowbank, their boards discarded nearby.

“I just feel like maybe the second shot wasn’t a good idea, Harry. Or the third,” Tobin mumbled, her goggles pushed up over her helmet and her pupils blown. Her royal blue beanie was poking out from underneath her helmet, the last Christmas gift from Christen’s parents that she’d opened this morning. It had a light pink heart on the front of it, the same color as the beanie Christen currently wore. Christen’s pink beanie had a royal blue heart on the front of it as well.

Christen stepped out of her board and propped it up in the snow before heading over to her girlfriend. She pushed her goggles up, then put her hands on her hips and feigned seriousness, pulling her lips into a stern grimace. 

“Baaaaby,” Tobin cooed. “What took you so long?” 

“I didn’t have liquid stupidity running through my veins, sending me down the mountain way too fast,” Christen replied with an arched brow. She wasn’t actually upset, but she couldn’t pass up the chance to tease her not-so-sober girlfriend.

“I think she’s mad at you,” Allie whispered. 

“Turning is really hard right now, Chris,” Tobin mumbled. “I had to go straight down.” 

“This is the straightest she’s ever been,” Allie snorted.

The joke made Christen crack. She burst out laughing and held out a hand for Tobin to take.

“I’m not mad, but you definitely need a break,” Christen said with a smile.

“Can we get hot chocolate and I’ll try to sober up?” Tobin asked, pouting a little. 

“I was just about to suggest that. Come on, baby,” Christen replied, melting at the adorable pout on Tobin’s face.

“You could add some whiskey and make it a party,” Allie called out. 

Christen turned to Crystal, Kelley, and Mia, gesturing at Allie. “Help her, yeah?”

Crystal nodded, grinning at Allie and preparing herself for whatever she needed to say to convince Allie to take a break and get lunch. 

Everyone descended upon the lodge for lunch, well almost everyone. Sue and Megan had disappeared under the guise of going “shopping,” and everyone knew they’d probably gone back to the cabin for some alone time. Pierre and Bati were tearing it up on the ski slopes and decided not to come in for lunch just yet. Which left Crystal and Christen babysitting tipsy Allie and Tobin as they tried to decide which flavor of soup they wanted, while Kelley and Mia grabbed them tables. 

“Baby, you don’t like split pea soup,” Christen assured, pulling the ladle out of Tobin’s hand.

“You know me so well,” Tobin hummed, resting her head on Christen’s shoulder. 

“I do,” Christen smiled, grabbing the ladle for the chicken noodle soup and pouring some into Tobin’s bowl.

“I wish they had grilled cheese,” Tobin mumbled. 

“Why don’t you take your soup over to the tables and I’ll try to find us some?” Christen replied, pressing a quick kiss to the wrinkle between Tobin’s brows.

Tobin nodded her head softly, trudging through the lodge in her snowboarding boots. She wandered through the tables until Kelley waved her over to the right table. Once seated, though, she couldn’t help herself from looking across the lodge for Christen, wishing she’d hurry back to the table and keep her company. 

“You disgust me,” Kelley laughed, propping her feet up on Tobin’s lap. 

Tobin pushed Kelley’s feet off of her, not even looking away from where her girlfriend was talking to Crystal and Allie. Christen was adorable in her pink beanie, and Tobin couldn’t stop herself from smiling when she saw Christen laugh at something Allie had said. 

“I think it’s sweet,” Mia commented, taking a sip of her hot chocolate and elbowing Kelley playfully.

“And that’s why we like you better than Kel,” Tobin mumbled, blinking slowly. 

“Wow, four hours in and I already have the stamp of approval?” Mia said with a fake gasp.

“Yeah, you’re a lot better than literally every other girl Kelley’s hung out with, which was a lot,” Tobin snorted. 

“Dude,” Kelley hissed, shoving Tobin’s shoulder. Kelley turned to Mia with an apologetic grimace. “Sweetie-”

“I’m gonna get some more hot chocolate,” Mia said quickly, shoving away from the table and walking over to the drink machines.

“Uh ooooh,” Tobin sing-songed, sipping some of her own water.

“Really, Tobin?” Kelley grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry,” Tobin spluttered. “I thought she knew you’d dated before.”

“She didn’t need my friend throwing that back in her face, though. I- I really like her. You better not have blown this for me,” Kelley replied, her voice surprisingly serious and vaguely worried.

“I’ll talk to her,” Tobin said, capping her water bottle and straightening the beanie on her head. She lifted herself up from her chair and headed across the room to where Mia was fiddling with the hot chocolate machine. 

“Heeeey,” Tobin slurred, begging her brain to catch up and clear some of the fog in her head. 

“I’ll be right back over. I just needed a second,” Mia replied with a tight smile.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Tobin admitted, her mouth held in a straight line. “To be honest, Kelley has dated a few other people, but I don’t remember her bringing any of them to actually hang out with us for anything more than a drunken college party.”

Mia looked over at Tobin, surprise written across her face. “Really?”

“Yeah, and while I may be drunk right now...I can still tell that Kelley is completely head over heels for you.”

Mia’s cheeks filled with a slight blush as she looked over Tobin’s shoulder, back at where Kelley was nervously stacking sugar packets together in an effort to build a tower.

“I don’t know how you have the patience for Kelley, but I’m really glad you do because...she’s annoying and obnoxious, and totally sucks most of the time, but she’s also my friend and I love her and she deserves someone who will love her and treat her like she’s special,” Tobin said quietly, her head starting to ache a little. 

“I had a feeling that seeing her with all of you, seeing her this stupid happy surrounded by all her friends, was going to be the final nail in the coffin for me. If I wasn’t in love with her already, I definitely am now,” Mia admitted with a small shrug and a huge smile on her face.

“None of the girls she dated before treated her the way she deserved if you ask me,” Tobin shrugged. “And you do. So, we all like you best.”

“You’re good for my ego, Heath,” Mia laughed. “Want a hot chocolate? I probably will look ridiculous if I only show up with one after all this time over here.”

“Please, maybe it’ll help take away the vodka headache,” Tobin mumbled reaching her hand out for a mug. 

Christen watched Mia and Tobin return to the table, Mia holding one cup of cocoa and Tobin holding two. She narrowed her eyes curiously at the way Kelley visibly relaxed when Mia pressed a kiss to her cheek and sat close by. She turned her questioning gaze to Tobin and found Tobin already smiling back at her.

“Hot chocolate for my hot girlfriend?” Tobin grinned. 

Christen chuckled and took the offered cup, pushing the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches she’d found across the table to Tobin in exchange. 

“Time to sober up, baby. Save two for me,” Christen replied.

“You’re a goddess,” Tobin groaned, taking a huge bite of the grilled cheese. After swallowing the bite, she wiggled one finger at Christen to get her to lean closer. 

“What?” Christen whispered, an enamored smile playing at her lips.

“I have a secret,” Tobin whispered back. 

“Is it a fun secret?” Christen said, playing along.

“It isn’t a fun ‘naked Chris’ kind of secret,” Tobin shrugged. 

Christen flushed and looked over at Kelley and Mia, finding herself thankful they were engrossed in their own conversation. 

“Okay, then what is it, Tobs?” Christen wondered.

“Mia said the L-word,” Tobin whispered. 

“Mia said ‘I love you’?!” Allie gasped, dropping down next to Christen and waggling her brows over at Kelley and Mia.

“HARRY!” Tobin shrieked, her eyes flying to Mia across the table. 

Mia looked like a deer in headlights. She looked between Kelley, Allie, Tobin, and Christen, her mouth opening and closing, but no words came out. A fierce blush colored her cheeks and she awkwardly pulled away from Kelley.

“She said the L word as in lasagna. That’s what we’re gonna make for dinner,” Tobin said, trying to bail Mia out of the mess she’d just made. “Mmmm I love lasagna. It’s a wonderful meal.”

Christen dropped her head into her hands at Tobin’s painful attempt at salvaging this. Allie hid her face in her jacket, just her eyes peeking out.

“You do?” Kelley whispered, only having eyes for Mia right now.

“I was planning on telling you myself in a really romantic way,” Mia sighed. “But yes. Completely and totally,” she said, a blush rising on her cheeks. 

“I completely and totally love you back,” Kelley replied, kissing Mia and earning her some hoots and hollers from Allie who was now feeling a lot better.

“Thank God,” Tobin whispered, shoving another bite of grilled cheese into her mouth. 

“On second thought, eat one of mine too. You are much further from sober than I thought,” Christen teased, reaching across the table to lay her hand on Tobin’s arm.

“I just want to take you home. Screw snowboarding and grilled cheese,” Tobin grumbled. 

“Nobody’s leaving! Not yet anyway. And when we do leave, we have to stop by the store for some limes and bottles of tequila!” Allie announced happily. 

“Ohhhh, baby?” Tobin said, hooking her ankles around the back of Christen’s calves. 

“If this is going to be secret, make sure to whisper it,” Christen replied, leaning her arms on the table to get closer to Tobin.

“Not a secret,” Tobin said, shaking her head softly. “It’s a favor actually, for tonight.”

Christen arched a brow. “Yes?”

“It seems I’ve forgotten how to properly take a tequila shot,” Tobin smirked. 

Christen pulled her lower lip between her teeth, a grin threatening to break out across her face. “What a shame, baby. If you need me to, I can show you how to do that again. Free of charge.”

“I think I might need that tutorial again. You’re a very hands-on instructor. It really helped last time,” Tobin hummed. 

“You’re welcome ,” Allie sing-songed, smiling over at Tobin and Christen as she dug into her sandwich.

Crystal dropped down across from Kelley and Mia, who were still kissing, and looked over at the rest of the group. Her eyebrows rose at the way Christen and Tobin were making eyes at each other. She finally looked at Allie and shook her head. 

“What’d I miss?” Crystal asked.

“Both couples are being gross. C.P. and Harry want to rip each others’ clothes off, and Kelley and Mia love each other,” Allie reported behind a mouthful of sandwich. 

“So all is right with the world,” Crystal sighed happily.

“Truth or dare?” Christen asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Tobin.

“Truth,” Tobin shrugged, finally feeling somewhat sober, since she’d refused to take more than one shot of tequila and had been slowly nursing a bottle of cider since dinner. 

“PUSSY SHIT!” Megan jeered, cackling from her corner of the hot tub. Sue was quick to shush her and pull her back against her chest with an arm around her waist.

“That’s aggressive,” Sue chastised. 

“It’s just a fact, dearest,” Megan shrugged, sipping her beer and then offering Sue some as well.

“Would you like me to change it to dare, Chris?” Tobin asked, taking a sip of her cider. 

Christen toyed with the stem of her wine glass, eying Tobin over the rim of it. The game had barely begun, and she was already having trouble keeping her mind out of the gutter. It didn’t help that Tobin was in a sexy bikini and that this wasn’t her first glass of wine. It also didn’t help that she hadn’t been able to get her hands on her girlfriend since they’d gotten back from the slopes.

She looked around the hot tub, seeing the amused looks on Allie’s and Kelley’s faces, and then turned back to Tobin. 

“You can stick to your guns, baby. I don’t mind,” Christen replied with a coy smile, reaching up to play with the baby hairs at the nape of Tobin’s neck.

“Okay,” Tobin nodded, her eyes flicking down to Christen’s lips before they moved back up to her eyes. 

“Who was the first person you told that you liked me?” Christen asked. The question earned her a few chuckles from the group.

Tobin blanched a little at the question. She couldn’t help the small, embarrassed laugh that left her lips when she realized what her answer was going to be. 

“It was totally me, wasn’t it?” Allie asked from across the hot tub, earning her one of Bati’s classic eye rolls.

“Nah, bitch it was me ,” Kelley teased, winking at Tobin as she pulled Mia closer to her.

Christen laughed, breathy and light, and then took a sip of wine, her eyes dancing across Tobin’s features in the fading light of the sunset. 

Tobin shook her head slowly, biting her bottom lip. Sure, Allie had guessed. ARod and Lauren had had their suspicions, but the first person Tobin had actively told wasn’t even a friend. 

“I don’t remember her name,” Tobin admitted, finally lifting her eyes to meet Christen’s. 

“Who?” Christen replied, her smile falling a bit when Allie or ARod or Lauren’s name didn’t leave Tobin’s lips.

“It must have been in September of freshman year,” Tobin mused, taking another sip of her cider. “ARod and Lauren were really worried about me because I just liked spending my Friday nights playing video games with my brother,” Tobin laughed. 

“Nerd,” Megan coughed.

“They set me up on a few blind dates in August and September, hoping someone would stick,” Tobin said. 

“Hold on, you dated other people?” Christen clarified, not understanding how she was just now learning about this.

“Dated is a generous term,” Tobin laughed. 

“Did you kiss these girls?” Christen asked, feeling jealousy flare in her chest, and knowing she had no right to feel it.

“No,” Tobin said, shaking her head and grinning at Christen’s jealousy. “I took a few girls out on some dates, and they all sucked. The last girl that Lauren and ARod set me up with insisted on getting a salad for dinner.”

“We don’t trust people like that!” Crystal interjected.

“No, we don’t. We ate really shitty salad, and I lied and said it was good,” Tobin clarified. 

Christen felt a pout tug at her lips. “I thought this was going to be some romantic answer and you told shitty salad girl first?”

“The girl said that the date was a bust, and I agreed. And I must have already been a lovesick puppy because she could see on my face that there was someone else,” Tobin added, running her hand along Christen’s legs draped across her lap. “I told her about this girl who played soccer at another college who I couldn’t get out of my head. We hadn’t even spoken by then, but I was already a goner.”

Christen softened at that, moving her thumb up and down the side of Tobin’s neck. “You saved it. That is a romantic answer,” Christen smiled, leaning forward to kiss Tobin quickly once, then twice, just because she could and just because she felt butterflies fluttering through her stomach.

“Pinoe,” Tobin said, keeping her hand on Christen’s leg. “Truth or dare?” 

“You have to ask?” Megan replied, deadpan.

“I dare you to tell Sue about the incident ,” Tobin smirked. 

Megan went pale and shook her head. “That was in the fucking vault, Tobito. Fuck off, no way.”

Sue leaned to the side, away from Megan, and turned her head to look at her girlfriend. “I’m sorry, what?”

Megan glared across the hot tub at Tobin, murderous rage on her face.

“You could take a shot and avoid the dare,” Tobin offered. “But, I’m not sure Sue will let you.”

“If you opted for the shot, I think that would qualify as pussy shit,” Kelley teased.

“This is getting intense,” Bati whispered. 

“We’re just getting started too, dude,” Pierre chuckled.

After one bottle of tequila was done, everyone’s drinks were refreshed, and the boys went inside to play some video games, the ladies decided to change games.

“Never have I ever dated a teammate,” Kelley snorted, pointing a finger directly at Tobin and Christen. 

Christen flipped Kelley off and grabbed the fresh bottle of tequila, taking a swig of it before handing it over to Tobin. 

“Low blow, Kel,” Christen grumbled, coughing a bit at the burning in her throat.

Crystal reached for the bottle, taking it from Tobin and taking her own sip. 

“Excuse?” Christen asked, gasping at her best friend taking a drink. 

Megan then reached out and also took a giant pull from the bottle.

“Megan, I expected,” Tobin mumbled. “Crystal, not so much.”

“My first boyfriend was on my coed preschool team,” Crystal shrugged. 

“In other words, you just wanted some tequila?” Kelley laughed. 

Crystal winked at Kelley and then grabbed the bottle back from Megan. “Never have I ever...done drugs,” Crystal grinned, shaking the tequila bottle in the air for any takers.

Tobin was reaching for the bottle, completely unaware that she was the only one reaching out for it. It wasn’t until her hand was gripping the bottle that she realized everyone was looking at her. Her cheeks flushed quickly, but she played it off with a shrug and a quick swig from the bottle. 

“TOBITO, WHAT?!” Megan all but shrieked, slapping the water excitedly.

“What?” Tobin asked, grimacing at the taste. 

“We’re NCAA athletes with routine drug tests, Crystal’s question wasn’t supposed to bring anything out,” Kelley chuckled.

“It was only one time, and I wasn’t an NCAA athlete in high school,” Tobin mumbled. 

“Color me motherfucking shocked. Tobito Heath, a druggie,” Megan teased.

“You totally did it for a girl, huh?” Sue grinned. 

Christen stilled at the question, that ever-familiar flare of jealousy igniting within her again, causing her grip on the back of Tobin’s neck to tighten. 

Tobin nodded softly, remembering how she’d been pressured to smoke some weed with the last crush she’d had before Christen. They’d smoked in that girl’s car at a park near school, and it was such a painfully cliché high school experience, one that Tobin really didn’t like thinking about. She’d smoked way more than she probably should have, stumbled home, too high to ride her longboard. She’d slipped past her parents, gotten sick in the upstairs bathroom, and stayed in bed for the entire next day. Not only that, but it was the same crush who’d insisted that she was too inexperienced to actually date seriously. So all around, not a great experience.

“Why do these questions always come back to other girls?”  Christen grumbled, grabbing the bottle of tequila away from Tobin to take a swig just because she wanted the taste to chase away her grouchiness. This was just a game, the same way truth or dare was just a game. But even if it was just a game, she didn’t like how fiercely protective she was feeling.

“It wasn’t a fun experience,” Tobin mumbled, pulling Christen’s legs closer. 

Christen was saved from replying when Mia swiped the bottle from her hand and took a small sip, feigning nonchalance. At the curious looks she got, Mia shrugged. 

“I’m not an athlete,” Mia replied with a small smile. “All right, let’s see...never have I ever had sex in public.”

“Oh, great one babe,” Kelley complimented, snagging the bottle and taking a long pull and then holding it out for the rest of the group. “Drink up, bitches. I know there are some other freaks here.”

Crystal blushed and grabbed the bottle, earning her a few hoots. Sue was next and casually sipped the tequila, before handing the bottle to Megan who also took a sip. It was only when Christen reached for the bottle that things got interesting.

“With whom?” Tobin spluttered, her eyes growing wide at Christen reaching for the tequila. 

Christen took a small sip and then wiped at her mouth. “” Christen replied with a small laugh, holding the bottle out for Tobin.

“When did we…?” Tobin mumbled to herself, searching her brain for a moment they’d had sex in public. 

“Oh boy, if she has to ask,” Kelley laughed, shaking her head. 

Christen flushed and leaned closer, her mouth ghosting across the shell of Tobin’s ear as she explained exactly when they’d done that.

“The truck’s plenty private,” Tobin argued. 

“Not when we’re at a drive-in movie, surrounded by other cars,” Christen reasoned, pushing the tequila into Tobin’s hand.

“We were commemorating fourteen months of dating,” Tobin shrugged, taking a small sip of the tequila. 

“You defiled the drive-in? The drive-in I told you about?” Allie asked, her eyes bugging out of her head.

“And the hot tub,” Tobin added, taking another sip for that. 


“It’s a nice feature,” Tobin mumbled. “Who wants to go next?” 

Christen buried her face in Tobin’s neck, her blush making her cheeks warm. “I think it’s your turn baby,” she mumbled, not wanting to face the outraged faces she was sure were looking at her and Tobin.

“Never have I ever dated a boy,” Tobin grinned, knowing that multiple people would be taking a sip, most importantly Allie. The drunker she got, the more likely she’d forget about the hot tub issue. 

“Hashtag rude, Harry,” Allie grumbled, snagging the tequila. Crystal, Kelley, Mia, and Christen all had to take sips. The hot tub comment was fading in the rearview as Sue took control of the game. 

“Never have I ever...given someone a lap dance, partner or otherwise,” Sue grinned devilishly.

“Not that it hasn’t been suggested,” Megan grumbled, taking the first sip from the tequila bottle. 

Allie was next. “Bati and I have a standing lap dance date every Sunday,” she admitted with a smirk, taking a few sips of the tequila and holding it out for the next taker. 

Both Kelley and Mia took sips, bashfully avoiding each other’s eyes as they did. And then Christen was shyly taking the bottle from Kelley’s hand, taking a long chug of tequila.

“Oooh yes, Harry! You and C.P. are getting it on!” Allie whooped. 

“Okay, game over now?” Christen asked, setting the tequila down on the side of the hot tub.

“LAAAAAME!” Megan called. “I haven’t even gone yet.”

Tobin loosened her hands on Christen’s legs, jealousy flooding her body. She moved her elbows to rest on the back of the hot tub. She didn’t like feeling jealous. It was a new sensation that she’d only discovered since dating Christen, and it was not something she was really fond of. She felt way too hot, constricted in the hot tub and under Christen’s legs, and smushed up next to Crystal. All she wanted to do was step out of the hot tub and run into the nearest snowbank to cool off. 

“I think I’m overheating,” she mumbled. “Maybe the guys will let me join in with video games.” She slipped out from under Christen’s legs and climbed out of the hot tub, letting the freezing stones on the porch burn against her feet with the dramatic change in temperature. 

“Tobs-” Christen tried to say, the rest of her words catching in her throat as Tobin grabbed a towel and headed inside. She set her jaw and looked around at her friends. Seeing their amused yet concerned faces, she shrugged.

“Thanks, guys,” Christen said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Clearly, it wasn’t with her…”

“Ooooh, Harry’s jealous,” Allie snorted. 

“Pressy, you could’ve totally lied on that one,” Kelley grimaced. 

“You can’t lie in this game!” Christen protested.

“Rules are rules,” Crystal agreed. “Buuuut, Tobin did look a little hurt.” 

Christen sighed and looked toward the house again, seeing Tobin climb the stairs to head up to the bedroom. 

“I’ll, uh- I’ll see you guys in the morning,” Christen said quietly, smiling tightly at the rest of the people in the hot tub. She quickly got out of the water and grabbed her own towel.

“Go make her feel all good and sexy, C.P.!” Allie called. “Just remember you aren’t alone in the house tonight.”

Christen barely heard anything Allie or her other friends said, too intent on getting inside and fixing this. She dried off quickly just inside the door, not wanting to track water through the house. She then hurried up the stairs, her towel wrapped tightly around her. She hesitated at the closed bedroom door, unsure how to apologize for something that happened a long time ago and didn’t matter in the slightest to her anymore.

Tobin felt silly for leaving the hot tub, but she also still felt way too hot and frustrated. She didn’t like even imagining Christen kissing someone else. Imagining Christen giving someone else a lap dance was absolutely torturous. She hadn’t even changed out of her swimsuit. Instead, she had flopped down, face first, onto the bed, her towel tucked tightly around her. She could feel her swimsuit making the towel wet and knew the bedspread would be damp in a second if she didn’t move, but she didn’t really care. 

“Baby?” Christen called out quietly, slipping into the room and shutting the door behind her. She locked it for good measure, having learned her lesson this morning with Allie barging in.

“Hi,” Tobin murmured into the pillow. 

“Are you mad at me?” Christen asked, hesitating at the door, leaning against it to give Tobin some space right now.

“No,” Tobin replied, shaking her head gently against the pillow. 

“Are you upset?” Christen tried again.



“I’m not lying. I’m not upset with you,” Tobin muttered into the fabric of the pillow. 

“But you’re upset,” Christen reasoned.

“I don’t love the images in my head currently,” Tobin huffed, putting her arms on the pillow and resting her chin on them, so that her face was lifted off the pillow. She stared at the headboard, remembering how she’d held onto that same headboard last night. It was a better image to have in her head. 

“It’s probably highly inaccurate?” Christen offered weakly, trying to find any silver lining her that she could.

“I don’t know,” Tobin whispered. “You’re pretty sexy, so I think that’s accurately imagined.” 

“If it doesn’t feature the Glee cover of a Britney Spears song and accidentally kneeing myself in the face, thus giving myself a bloody nose, it’s not accurate,” Christen replied, cringing at the admission and the bad memories it brought to the surface.

Tobin turned her head finally to look at Christen, her eyebrows lifted in disbelief. 

“It was a dare, a stupid dare and I wanted to be brave so I tried it and I ended up almost breaking my nose and bleeding all over this girl who I can’t even remember the name of now,” Christen continued, still sticking by the door. She felt a bit better now that Tobin was finally looking at her, though.

“I’m sure the girl still enjoyed it,” Tobin hummed. 

“Did I mention that I elbowed her in the boob and she cried? Because that happened too,” Christen chuckled, her cheeks flaming as she shook her head. She took her hair out of the top knot it was in, running her fingers through it self-consciously. “I completely forgot that even happened until the question tonight. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. And you’re hugging the door like you did something wrong,” Tobin whispered. 

Christen shrugged. “I’m just waiting for the sign that I’m allowed to come closer.”

“So the lap dance sucked?” Tobin verified. 

“Epically sucked,” Christen nodded.

“I’m sorry I got jealous,” Tobin mumbled. 

Christen cracked a smile and finally pushed off the door. She discarded her towel and her wet bikini on the floor, not wanting to wear them on the bed. She then crawled on the bed, lying next to Tobin. She reached out to trace her fingertips across Tobin’s cheek. 

“You don’t need to be, baby. The only person I ever want to do anything with is you,” Christen hummed.

“If you’d done that to me in high school, I would have combusted, bloody nose and all,” Tobin breathed out. 

Christen’s smile deepened as a flush crept up her chest. “Well...what about now?” she whispered, surprising even herself with the question.  

“Oh, absolute combustion,” Tobin teased. “I’d probably check on your nose too, though. Stop the bleeding before moving forward, you know?” 

Christen traced her thumb across Tobin’s lower lip, her amusement fading into something a little bolder. 

“How drunk are you?” Christen hummed, her eyes dancing between Tobin’s, a delicious mirth swirling within her green irises as she smirked at Tobin.

Tobin rolled onto her back and reached both of her arms in the air. She touched both of her index fingers to her nose, one after the other a few times. 

“I’m okay, why? You want to shower or something?” 

“No. I just wanted to make sure you’re going to be able to remember this,”  Christen grinned, getting up from the bed. She walked into the bathroom, to the vanity. She grabbed the chair and walked it back into the room, placing it near the foot of the bed.

Tobin lifted herself up onto her elbows, watching as Christen set the chair down. When it dawned on her, when she realized exactly what Christen was doing, heat coiled tightly, low in her stomach. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Tobin choked out, not wanting Christen to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, just because Tobin had been jealous. 

Christen waltzed back over to where Tobin was lying down in bed. She cocked her head to the side as she looked down at her girlfriend and let her sweet smile turn into a saucy smirk. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I was kind of saving it for your birthday but...the occasion calls for it now,”  Christen replied.

“It’s fine, we can do it on my birthday. We could make it a birthday tradition,” Tobin suggested, swallowing thickly. 

“We can do both, because I’d really like to give you a lap dance tonight, baby,” Christen husked. “If you want?”

“Did you really just ask me that?” Tobin nearly groaned, her eyes trailing down Christen’s body. 

Christen let out a small laugh. “Why don’t we both slip into something more...comfortable. You take a seat and pick a song, and I’ll join you when I’m ready.”

Tobin could only nod, her mind clouded with desire. She slid out of bed, dropping her towel and swimsuit on the floor with Christen’s and digging through her suitcase to find something to put on. She slipped on a pair of gray boyshorts and a matching sports bra, deciding to stick with her plan to save the nice lingerie set for Christen’s birthday. 

Christen had already grabbed the lacy number she’d been saving for her birthday from her suitcase and walked into the bathroom to slip it on. It was a purple-pink lingerie set. The top was a corset that was fastened with hooks in the front, and the bottoms were barely even able to be called bottoms. They were a few pieces of lace held together with small bows that couldn’t cover too much, not even if they tried.

She peeked her head out of the bathroom and saw Tobin sitting in the chair, her legs bouncing and her hands flexing at her sides. 

“Song choice?” Christen called out.

“Take Me Down,” Tobin said without hesitation, a blush traveling up her neck at the admission. 

“That was quick. Been sitting on that song for a while?” Christen teased. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and queued the song up, setting it to repeat.

“It’s a sexy song,” Tobin shrugged.

“Never heard it, so I’ll take your word for it,” Christen hummed. “Close your eyes?”

Tobin wasn’t about to argue with the woman who was planning on doing this for her. She closed her eyes, gripping the edge of the chair and leaning forward slightly. 

Christen let the lingering buzz of the tequila fuel her. She put every embarrassing, fleeting memory of the first time she’d tried this out of her mind. She focused only on Tobin, on the first few sultry notes of the song. She approached Tobin with slow, sure steps, ready to make a new memory.

“Here we are all alone in this room, oh. And girl I know where to start what we gonna do, yeah...”

Trailing her fingertips across Tobin’s bare shoulder, she walked around the front of the chair, coming to face Tobin. 

“Open your eyes, baby,” Christen commanded, her hand falling back to her side. She knew she looked good, but no amount of confidence could compare to the surge of cockiness that flooded through her at the way Tobin drank her in right now.

“I'll take my time, we'll be all night girl. So get ready babe...”

“Chris,” Tobin groaned, her voice rough and ragged and longing. She reached out, resting her hands on Christen’s hips, her eyes taking in every single sexy detail. 

That single word uttered with such reverence, such desire, had heat pooling low in Christen’s stomach, had fire pricking her skin and licking up her throat. While she was more than happy to let Tobin look at her and talk about her like that, she wasn’t going to let Tobin touch her. 

“I got plans for me and you. It ain't my first time but baby girl we can pretend…”

“Hands off,” Christen husked, reaching out to lay her hands on the back of the chair. She leaned close to Tobin, their noses almost touching. “I’ll let you know when you can touch.”

“Bossy Chris is back,” Tobin smirked, following Christen’s order, despite wanting to pull her close and take the new lingerie off as quickly as possible. 

Christen smirked at the ragged breath that escaped Tobin’s lips. She leaned back and moved around the back of the chair. When she was standing behind the chair and behind Tobin, she bent down and brushed her lips across the shell of Tobin’s ear. 

“Okay?” Christen whispered, wanting the green light before she started things off. 

Tobin nodded quickly, showing just how eager she was and husking out a soft. “Yes, baby.”

Christen tugged Tobin’s earlobe between her teeth and let her hands fall to Tobin’s shoulders. She dropped her lips to Tobin’s neck, marking a hot trail across her skin as she trailed her fingertips down Tobin’s shoulders and arms. 

“Hey let's bump and grind girl tonight we'll never end. Let me take you down…”

Christen sucked hard at the juncture between Tobin’s neck and her shoulder, as her fingertips ghosted across collarbones and over the swell of her breasts. She teased and toyed with the bra Tobin wore, her touch skirting just below the top. Before Tobin could get used to the feeling or get the idea that this was going to progress in a logical, linear fashion, Christen stepped back, her hands and lips leaving Tobin’s skin for a moment.

“I really wanna take you down. And show you what I'm all about…”

She trailed her index finger down the slope of Tobin’s neck and across her shoulder as she moved back around to face Tobin. She placed her knees on either side of Tobin’s legs and dropped down, her hands curling around the back of the chair. She rolled her hips down into Tobin’s to the beat of the song, her movements long and slow. She swayed from side to side, ensuring to grind down into Tobin and create just enough friction to tease, but not enough to do much more. 

Can I take you now? Your body, body oh. Your body, body up and down…”

“Baby,” Tobin moaned, gripping the armrests to keep from putting her hands on Christen’s thighs or ass or anywhere else she could. 

“So don't stop, girl get it. Quit playin with it. Can't wait no more…”

Christen held back her own moan at the literal sex dripping from Tobin’s voice. She had to stay focused, she was just getting started. With every movement, Christen kept her eyes locked on Tobin’s. She never broke their gaze, never looked away from the darkening brown pools below her. She continued to sway and grind, losing herself in the mindless motions to match the song. And then she was pushing her chest closer to Tobin’s face, leaning in ever so slightly with every roll of her body against Tobin’s.

Tobin had never felt this close to dying. She might have thought she’d felt like she was on fire or close to combustion before this moment, but nothing compared to how she was feeling right now. Feeling Christen pressed against her, seeing Christen move with such confidence and freedom, watching her grind against her without being able to touch was killing Tobin in the most torturous and amazing way possible. She couldn’t stop the soft groans, the whines, the gasps that left her lips when Christen pressed down into her lap. 

“I wanna take you down. I really wanna take you down. Take you down, yeah…”

Christen saw the moment Tobin started to lose control. Tobin got a wild, reckless look in her eyes, and her hands started to twitch on the armrests. So instead of staying put, instead of pushing her breasts further into Tobin’s face and continuing to grind against her to the beat of the song, Christen backed away and got up from the chair.

Her hands fell to the hooks on the front of her corset and she slowly, deliberately, torturously unbuttoned each one, her eyes never falling from Tobin’s. When she had undone the last hook, she let the top fall off of her shoulders to the floor, the song fading into the background as her sole focus was now entirely trained on Tobin. 

“I need to touch you,” Tobin husked, nearly jumping out of the chair and lifting Christen onto the bed. The only thing that kept her in place was the confident and determined look in Christen’s eyes. She was in charge, and Tobin was happy to let her keep control for a little bit longer. 

With her hundredth smirk of the evening and a small shake of her head, Christen dropped to her knees and pushed Tobin’s legs apart. “Not yet,” Christen murmured, kissing up the insides of Tobin’s thighs, matching her nips and bites and soothes to the rhythm. She got so lost in it, the feeling of Tobin’s skin beneath her lips and tongue, she barely registered the song restarting. 

Similar to the last night she’d gotten jealous, Tobin could feel just how wet she was getting. She knew that Christen would be able to see it on the light gray fabric of the boyshorts, and she didn’t care. She wanted Christen to know exactly how much she desired her. She didn’t hold back her moans. She didn’t try to hide the hitches in her breath. She knew Christen liked to hear her, liked to know what she liked. 

Christen pressed a long kiss to Tobin’s center, over the wet spot of her boyshorts. As Tobin’s hips jumped, Christen backed away and rose to her feet again. She gave herself one moment to relish in the sight of Tobin seated before her. She took in the heaving chest, the broken gasps leaving Tobin’s parted lips, the hungry look in her eyes. It made her heart soar and the heat between her legs beg for attention. 

But instead of giving in, Christen continued, letting the song send her down into Tobin’s lap, this time her back pressed to Tobin’s front. She ground down into Tobin’s lap, throwing an arm around the back of Tobin’s neck to keep herself upright. 

Tobin’s hands actually lifted off the armrests without her consent. She wasn’t in control of her own reflexes or muscles. She stopped her hands maybe an inch away from Christen’s hips, hoping that Christen would give her the green light, that she’d get to touch the woman who was driving her crazy. 

“You can touch now,” Christen husked, pressing down further into Tobin’s lap, her own body aching for Tobin to touch her now. 

Tobin gripped Christen’s hips tightly, helping to guide her down against her lap. She leaned forward and kissed the back of Christen’s neck, relishing in the warmth of Christen’s skin. 

Christen didn’t know how long they stayed like that, with Tobin kissing her neck and with them grinding against each other on the chair. It could have been seconds or centuries, Christen wasn’t sure. But when Tobin’s hands rose to her breasts and kneaded them impatiently, when her mouth became hungrier and more persistent, Christen realized she had let Tobin become too comfortable. Now that she felt like she was starting to lose too much control, she forced herself to lift off of Tobin’s lap, exhaling at the loss of contact. She wasn’t going to be derailed by wandering hands and determined lips.

Christen turned to face Tobin again, arching a brow and feeling a thrill of power run through her at the utter submission on Tobin’s face before dropping to her knees again. She quickly slid Tobin’s boyshorts off, pushing Tobin’s legs even further apart with strong hands on her knees. Christen settled between Tobin’s legs and paused, looking up with hooded eyes at her girlfriend. 

“May I?” Christen smirked.

“Fuck,” Tobin groaned.

“I plan on it,” Christen husked, dropping a kiss right above the apex of Tobin’s thighs.

“Please,” Tobin whined. 

Christen didn’t need to be told twice. She ran her tongue between Tobin’s legs, relishing in the molten heat she found there. After that build-up, it didn’t take much. A few swipes of her tongue and some quick circles and Tobin was coming completely undone. 

But Christen wasn’t satisfied with just one. She wasn’t done. So instead of guiding Tobin down from her high. She rose to her feet and pulled Tobin off the chair. She walked them back to the bed and gently pushed Tobin down with a hand on her sternum. 

Christen crawled on top of Tobin and finally, finally kissed her. As she licked into Tobin’s mouth, her hand trailed down Tobin’s stomach and settled between her legs. She teased at a few spots that always had Tobin’s hips jolting before sliding inside, curling her fingers, and setting a torturous pace. She nipped at Tobin’s bottom lip then soothed the bite, her fingers never stilling. She worked Tobin right back up, quickly, far too quickly. It was mere moments before Tobin was coming apart again, Christen’s name on her lips, and her eyes screwed shut as she threw her head back on the bed.

Christen gently coaxed Tobin through her aftershocks, her eyes drinking in the fluttering of Tobin’s eyelids, the way her tongue darted out to wet her bottom lip, the way her mouth was turned up in a small, satisfied smile.

“Start thinking of a song,” Tobin panted, her eyes finally fluttering open to look at Christen. 

Christen let out a breathy chuckle, finally removing her hand from between Tobin’s legs. She licked her fingers clean, her mind turning over every possibility, trying to find a song worthy of a lapdance from Tobin Heath. 

“I’ll ponder. In the meantime, I want to go again,” Christen grinned, kissing across the hard line of Tobin’s jaw, down her neck. She nipped at Tobin’s collarbones and then sucked a bruise into the spot right above her right breast.

“What happened to taking turns,” Tobin whispered, letting her hands wander over Christen’s body. 

“Later. I’m busy,” Christen mumbled into Tobin’s skin, continuing her path downward.


“I lost count,” Allie grumbled, nursing her hangover at the kitchen table. 

“Nobody can count that high,” Sue chuckled. “Not even them.”

“I am so glad we’re in the basement,” Kelley chuckled, passing Mia a mug of coffee before sitting down next to her.

“Yeah, Chris Brown invaded my dream last night,” Bati laughed, putting a bowl of cereal in front of Allie before taking a seat next to her with his own cereal. 

“That was the song they went with?” Megan guffawed, shaking her head in amusement.

“ was kind of a jam,” Allie laughed. “Bati and I are gonna try it next time.”

“What was a jam?” Christen asked, waltzing into the kitchen and grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. She whistled to herself as she poured herself and Tobin cups of coffee, only half-listening to the group seated around the table.

The group shared an amused look, the same thought passing between all of them.

“It ain't my first time, but baby girl, we can pretend. Let's bump and grind, and girl, tonight will never end,” Allie sang, her voice pitchy and hoarse. 

Christen choked on the sip of coffee she’d taken, her eyes wide as she turned to look at her group of friends.

“Let me take you down. I really wanna take you down and show you what I'm about. Can I take you down?” Kelley crooned, her voice slightly better than Allie’s, her laughter making her signing come out a bit nasally.

“So don’t stop, girl, get it,” Megan added. “Quit playing with it, can’t wait no more. I wanna take you do-”

“Oh my god,” Christen groaned, her cheeks filling with a fierce blush.  She ducked her head as she grabbed their coffee cups and tried to make an escape back upstairs.

“Gooooood morning,” Tobin called from the middle of the staircase. 

“Nope, no, no, no. We’re going back upstairs,” Christen said quickly, stopping Tobin at the bottom of the staircase.

“I’m glad C.P. rocked your world, Harry!” Allie called, not even glancing over her shoulder to look at Tobin. 

If at all possible, Christen’s blush deepened as she dropped her forehead to Tobin’s chest.

“Pretty girl, let's take it off in this room. No time to waste, girl, you know what we came to do,” Sue hummed quietly, a grin growing on her face. 

“Coffee in bed?” Tobin choked out, her cheeks flushing a dark red. 

“Let’s just stay up there forever,” Christen grumbled, an embarrassed flush creeping up her neck, her voice slightly strained.

“I’m sure you two wouldn’t have trouble staying there forever,” Allie cackled from the table. 

“Just mix up the song choices, yeah? I can only do so much Chris Brown,” Kelley called out with a laugh.

“Jealousy looks kinda shitty on you guys,” Tobin huffed, reaching out for Christen's blushing face, tenderly caressing her cheek. “And don’t act like you’re innocent, Harry. I heard you and Bati go outside to the hot tub last night.”

“Every single person in this house had sex last night, none of us are denying that,” Allie shrugged. 

“Okay, so we can be civil now,” Tobin sighed, running her fingers to the back of Christen’s neck and playing with the soft baby hairs there. 

Allie shared a quick look with Bati, Kelley, Mia, Megan, and Sue, and then they all burst out into the chorus of the Chris Brown song, “Let me take you down. I really wanna take you down, And show you what I'm all about!”

“Okay, this was a fun trip. All of you suck,” Tobin grumbled. “Want to leave and get bagels?” Tobin asked only Christen. 

“Whatever gets us out of here,” Christen chuckled, flipping everyone off over her shoulder with a smile.