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Our Secret Moments

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Baby take me outside

Kiss me in the moonlight

I just want you to touch me

I don't wanna waste no time

I want you to show me

What it feels like to be alive

The lights go down

I want you around me

Whoa

Don't overthink it

Just finish up your drink

And surround me, surround me

(Tobin - “Surround Me” by LÉON)

 

Heaven only knows where you've been

But I don't really need to know

I know where you're gonna go

On my heart, where you're resting your head

And you just look so beautiful

It's like you were an angel

Can I stop the flow of time?

Can I swim in your divine?

Cause I don't think I'd ever leave this place

Oh, turn the lights, turn the lights down low

Yeah, now I'm feeling you breathing slow

'Cause, baby, we're just reckless kids

Trying to find an island in the flood

Oh, turn the lights, turn the lights down low, oh

(Christen - “Lights Down Low” by MAX)

 

Tobin pushed the door open, trying to take deep, steadying breaths. She motioned for Christen to step in first, bracing herself for whatever reaction Christen would have. She hoped the candles weren’t too much, too cheesy, or over-the-top. She also didn’t want Christen to feel pressure to do anything, just because the room was decorated a tiny bit. 

Christen felt a soft gasp escape her lips when she looked around her room. It wasn’t too dark, despite the fact that her overhead light was off. The candles and the twinkly lights added an aura of warmth to the room. It was peaceful and serene, and so very Tobin that it made Christen smile. 

“Baby, this is definitely not too much. This is amazing,” Christen whispered, turning to give Tobin a shy smile. 

“Cool,” Tobin said, releasing a long sigh of relief. 

After squeezing Tobin’s hand, Christen turned back around and noticed there was a bed sheet covering something hanging on the wall, over her bed.

“Did you redecorate?” Christen asked, pulling Tobin further into the room over toward her bed.

Tobin scratched the back of her neck, suddenly wishing she’d bought Christen a necklace or some obscenely expensive pair of Bluetooth headphones, anything other than what she’d actually gotten her...well, made for her. She’d never made anything for someone else. Everything she painted was either for class, for herself, or simply dumped after completion. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Tobin mumbled. 

“Is that my gift?” Christen asked softly, standing on the side of her bed, looking up at the bed sheet-covered something. She had a feeling she knew what was underneath, and the thought that Tobin had taken the time to make her something was enough to make her eyes prickle with tears.

“Mhm,” Tobin hummed from beside Christen. “You don’t have to keep it there if you don’t want to, though.”

Christen slid her feet out of her heels, kicking them behind her. She released her grip on Tobin’s hand and then looked over at her fidgeting, definitely nervous girlfriend. 

“Why don’t you let me look at it and I’ll let you know?” Christen replied gently, with a sweet smile, leaning over to kiss Tobin’s cheek quickly. 

“Go for it,” Tobin choked out, reminding herself to breathe. 

Christen climbed onto the bed and grabbed at the bedsheet. She waited for the nervous nod from Tobin before taking it off and dropping it onto the floor. When she finally saw the painting, she felt that prickle at the corners of her eyes worsen. There was no way she wasn’t going to cry.

“It’s uhhh...I mean it’s kind of abstract-ish,” Tobin mumbled. 

“It’s the sky, right? Lots of versions of it?” Christen asked, looking over at Tobin, keeping her trembling bottom lip pulled between her teeth.

“Of course she knows that,” Tobin thought to herself, unable to keep the smile from widening on her face.

When Tobin had started painting something for Christen, she’d known exactly what she wanted to paint. She wasn’t great at painting people, so painting Christen was absolutely out of the question. Instead, she chose to paint something she’d been doodling, imagining, and dreaming about since Portland, since the first time she’d planted with Christen at camp. Since then, she’d been unable to get the sight of that sky out of her head. So, she’d painted the sky on a large canvas for Christen’s birthday, using oranges and pinks and blues to create the perfect sky right at sunset. 

She’d only decided after she’d gotten home that she wanted to add a piece of every sky she’d drawn since Portland to the painting. She’d taken each doodle and painting of the sky she’d worked on since May, cutting small pieces of them out and organizing them in patterns all over the canvas. She wanted Christen to know that she’d been thinking about those moments with her since Portland. All of those moments, with their faces to the sky, with their hands clasped, they had all come together to create the painting.

“Yeah, it’s kind of silly, I guess. I’m not really good at painting people, so...It’s the sky whenever we meditate before a game. I’ve been trying to paint it since Portland, and...” Tobin rambled, trailing off when she couldn’t think of any more words. 

“Tobs, this is not silly, it’s...it’s wonderful and beautiful and thoughtful and-” Christen stopped, shaking her head slightly, almost unable to comprehend what she was seeing, what Tobin was saying. Christen quickly slid off the bed and wrapped her arms around Tobin, pulling her in for a crushing hug. “It’s everything. Thank you,” she whispered.

“I’m glad you like it,” Tobin breathed out, letting her worry from earlier leave her body with Christen’s words of affirmation. 

“I love it,” Christen corrected, sinking into the embrace, letting the feeling of Tobin’s hands splayed across her back ground her in one of the most perfect moments she’d ever been in.

Tobin didn’t know what to say. She’d never given anyone art, hence the awkwardness and anxiety that had been coursing through her. She’d worried so much about the finished product, about making something that Christen would actually like, that she hadn’t thought about how she’d respond to Christen actually liking it. She racked her brain for words but couldn’t find any. Instead, Tobin pulled Christen closer and kissed her shoulder softly. 

Christen pulled out of the embrace but stayed close, letting her arms fall onto Tobin’s shoulders. She used her hands to push Tobin’s hair behind her ears, an easy smile on her face. 

“So...is that my only gift?” Christen hummed teasingly, her fingers brushing through Tobin’s hair gently. 

“You may have mentioned a certain gift that you wanted to unwrap,” Tobin replied, smirking and blushing simultaneously. 

Christen let her eyes trail down and across the suit that Tobin wore, feeling her stomach jump at the promise she heard in Tobin’s words. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she looked from the white button-up tucked into fitted dress pants, up to the undone bowtie around Tobin’s neck, then back up to meet Tobin’s eyes. She felt her breath catch in her throat at the desire swirling around within them. 

A blush heated Christen’s cheeks as well. “I did say that, didn’t I?” she whispered.

Tobin nodded. “No one’s here to interrupt like last time...unless you want to watch a movie instead,” Tobin grinned, knowing that Christen would choose the first option, based on the way she was looking at Tobin with dark, focused eyes. 

Christen felt a smirk tug at her lips and she sent up a silent prayer that she’d had the forethought to put on the lingerie she currently wore. “Empty house...empty campus...Kelley O’Hara in Georgia, you really thought of everything didn’t you?” 

Tobin nodded again, thinking about the new addition to her wardrobe that was under the suit. She’d taken a tip from Christen and actually made a checklist of everything she’d need to surprise Christen and make their first time special. 

Christen let a small, nervous breath leave her lips. No interruptions, a house to themselves, a bedroom full of candles. This was definitely happening tonight, and she was simultaneously thrumming with excitement and full of nerves. 

“I love that you did this, but there are no expectations here, from me. We…we can have sex, or we could just cuddle. Whatever we want. I don’t want you to feel like we have to,” Christen found herself saying, despite the way her hands itched to undress Tobin, to touch her, to make her writhe and moan and beg. She needed to give them a moment to breathe, to evaluate before they both got too far gone. 

“You aren’t the only one who’s been dying since the night of our NCAA Championship win,” Tobin husked, wanting Christen to know just how much she wanted this, despite how calm she’d tried to seem while planning this surprise. “If you feel like there’s pressure or expectation, then we can have a chill night and cuddle, but if you’re just worried about me, I’m ready. I’ve been ready.”

Christen beamed at Tobin’s words, feeling just as ready, just as sure. 

“I love you,” Christen whispered, anticipation swirling around with her in the most wonderful and delicious way.

“I love you, too,” Tobin replied, already dying to press her lips against Christen’s again, to let her fingers trace along every inch of skin, to hear every noise that Christen would make when Tobin touched her.

Tobin’s words and the smoldering look in her eyes were the only green lights Christen needed. She immediately closed the space between them, her hands cupping Tobin’s cheeks as she pulled Tobin in for a sweet kiss, trying to start things slowly, knowing they had forever in front of them. 

Tobin followed Christen’s lead, knowing that she was way too excited to actually take things slow if she didn’t pace herself alongside Christen. She’d been anticipating this moment since planning Christen’s birthday, and she had to remind herself to enjoy every slow touch before getting ahead of herself. Her tongue brushed softly against Christen’s bottom lip, and her hands tightened on Christen’s hips, pulling her even closer. 

Christen loved the way Tobin kissed her. She loved the sweet, short pecks in the mornings and the slow, unhurried ones at night. She loved the way-too-hot ones Tobin snuck when they were alone in the locker room. She loved every single way that Tobin kissed her, but there was something else behind her kisses tonight. A determination and a confidence and a purpose. Tobin kissed her like she knew exactly where they were going, like she was willing to let Christen take her there. Fire licked up Christen’s throat as the feeling.

Christen pushed her tongue past Tobin’s lips, a hand dropping to the side of Tobin’s neck, the other sliding around to tangle in her hair. She deepened the kiss, flicking her tongue against Tobin’s, running it across the roof of her mouth.

Tobin couldn’t stop the quiet moan that rose up through her throat, and she didn’t want to. She wanted Christen to know how she made her feel, maybe more than she ever had before. She ran her tongue along Christen’s, tasting Christen’s lips against her own. 

The first moan of the night always sounded delightful, and this one was no different. But Christen wasn’t going to be satisfied with just one. Christen knew just how much there was there left to do, how much more she could do to wrench those moans and sighs and whimpers from Tobin. She couldn’t wait to get there, but first, she had to get rid of some of the clothing between them.

“Can I unwrap my gift now?” Christen whispered against Tobin’s lips, reaching out to run her teeth teasingly over Tobin’s bottom lip.

“Yeah,” Tobin husked, pressing her lips against Christen’s jaw. 

Christen sighed, letting herself get a little lost in the feeling of Tobin’s lips against her skin before she leaned back. She’d been dreaming about getting Tobin out of this suit for a year, she wasn’t getting derailed now. So, she leaned back, letting her hands fall away from Tobin’s face and hair, her fingertips trailing down the front of Tobin’s suit before falling to her sides. 

Christen itched to reach out and touch, to start to take everything separating them off, but she almost didn’t know where to start. She wet her lips, her eyes trailing up and down Tobin’s outfit before rising to meet her eyes. 

“Best birthday ever,” she whispered, taking a small step closer to Tobin. She let her fingers glide beneath the suit jacket, running up Tobin’s sides. She gently pushed the suit jacket from Tobin’s shoulders, helping it down her arms before taking it all the way off.

“It’s probably my favorite too,” Tobin mumbled. “It might beat Mighty Ducks .”

Christen smirked, throwing the suit jacket onto the back of her desk chair. “It definitely beats the Mighty Ducks ,” she whispered, tilting her head to the side and placing a kiss to the side of Tobin’s neck, letting her hands fall to Tobin’s waist as she did so. She languidly, unhurriedly, nipped and sucked on the side of Tobin’s throat as her hands untucked the button-up from Tobin’s dress pants. 

After a gentle bite, which she soothed with her tongue, Christen changed sides, turning her attention to the other side of Tobin’s throat as her fingers fell to the buttons of the shirt.

“You trying to make both sides even with the number of marks you’re leaving?” Tobin gulped. 

“These won’t be the only marks I leave,” Christen hummed against Tobin’s skin. Knowing she’d definitely left a few red marks though, Christen leaned back with a smirk. She wanted to look at Tobin for this next part, she wanted to see her face, her eyes. 

Christen undid the top button of Tobin’s shirt, her eyes holding Tobin’s the entire time. She then made her way lower, undoing every single button, surprising herself that her hands didn’t shake as she did so.

Tobin could feel her stomach somersaulting, sending butterflies fluttering into her chest. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Christen’s, completely enamored by the desire she could see reflected in Christen’s eyes. 

Only once she’d undone the final button, once she’d seen the effect her touch was having on Tobin, did Christen finally look down. She felt her eyebrows rise in surprise, her gaze lifting to Tobin’s once more. 

“I did not have you pegged for the red lingerie type,” Christen husked, forcing her hands to remain fisted in the sides of Tobin’s shirt. She knew if she started touching her now, after seeing Tobin in something so special, so different, so delicate, she’d never be able to stop.

“Red’s a nice color,” Tobin smirked, looking down at the lacy, red bra that she’d saved for this occasion. She’d expected Christen to like it, but she hadn’t necessarily expected Christen to look at her the way she was in this moment. 

“It’s a great color on you,” Christen agreed, pushing Tobin’s shirt from her shoulders as well. She gently set the shirt down on the floor and then turned back, her eyes drinking in the absolute vision that was her girlfriend, in just a red lacy bra and dress pants, in her bedroom. She knew she was staring, she knew she was probably freaking Tobin out a bit, but she couldn’t help it. She just continued to look her girlfriend up and down slowly. 

“Sorry, I just- I needed a second to take all that in. I don’t want to forget a thing about tonight,” Christen whispered, her eyes meeting Tobin’s again.

“Me either,” Tobin hummed, reaching up to brush her thumb across Christen’s cheek, trailing her hand further back to push a few curls behind Christen’s ear. 

Christen leaned into the touch and then reached out to brush her hands across Tobin’s stomach, a small smile on her lips. She pressed a quick to Tobin’s lips and then bent down to kiss across Tobin’s collarbones, across her chest. Her hands settled low on Tobin’s hips, her thumbs smoothing slow, gentle circles on Tobin’s hip bones. 

Tobin tangled a hand in Christen’s hair at the back of Christen’s neck, holding onto the girl who was setting her body on fire and trying to hold in any whines or groans that threatened to fall from her lips. She felt like she already had to squeeze her legs together, and Christen had hardly done anything. 

Christen smirked at the sounds of Tobin’s labored breathing and decided she might as well continue this thing right along. She moved her lips down Tobin’s chest, across the swell of her breasts, ghosting along the lacy material of her bra, and then down her stomach. Christen slowly bent down as she moved, her lips and tongue making a direct path downward. 

Finally reaching the waistband of Tobin’s dress pants, Christen got onto her knees, her fingers tightening on Tobin’s waist. She looked up at Tobin, already finding Tobin’s eyes on her.

“Can I?” Christen breathed, still looking up at Tobin.

“Yes, baby,” Tobin almost laughed, appreciating the question and the need for consent but finding it kind of ridiculous that Christen asked, since it was so obvious that Tobin needed her to keep doing what she was doing. There was no way she’d say no in this moment. There was no way she’d say no to Christen. 

With a smile, Christen moved her fingers teasingly slowly along the waistband of the dress pants, her lips pressed against the tanned skin of Tobin’s stomach, feeling every clench of her abs and shiver that ran through her. When she reached the button of the pants, she made quick work of it, then slid the zipper down.
Christen went to pull Tobin’s pants down, and then she caught sight of what Tobin was wearing underneath. 

“It matches?” Christen husked, leaning back a bit to look up at Tobin, feeling her heart pound in her chest.

“It’s your birthday,” Tobin whispered. “I had to dress for the occasion.”

“God, I love you,” Christen replied, smiling up at Tobin before placing her lips back on Tobin’s body.

Tobin’s response caught in her throat when Christen nipped at her hip bone and pushed Tobin’s pants down. 

Christen smirked into Tobin’s skin and followed the path of the pants with her mouth, pressing her lips down Tobin’s thighs. Tobin had never realized just how sensitive her hips and legs were, but feeling Christen’s lips travel down her legs made her almost beg for more. 

Christen stopped at Tobin’s knees but pushed her pants the rest of the way down, helping Tobin shimmy out of them. She tossed them behind her somewhere, not really caring where they ended up. From her spot on the ground, she had a beautiful vantage point of Tobin standing before her, her chest heaving, clad in just red, lacy underwear. It made the burning beneath Christen’s skin ignite, it made her desire to keep this slow and sweet incredibly difficult to abide by. But abide she did. 

Christen leaned back in, ghosting her lips up Tobin’s thighs, reversing her previous trajectory. She let her hands settle against Tobin’s hips again, using them as leverage as she got back to her feet. 

“Baby?” Tobin whined, her skin tingling at each spot that Christen had touched or kissed. 

“Mhm,” Christen mumbled against Tobin’s stomach, moving up to drop a line of kisses below the lacy bra.

“This-” Tobin gulped, distracted by Christen’s lips. “This feels very uneven,” Tobin choked out, her hands still gripping Christen tightly to her body, despite her desire to turn Christen around and help her out of her dress. 

“You had more to take off,” Christen replied, her hands trailing up Tobin’s sides and toying with the band of the bra, her lips attached to that one spot at the base of Tobin’s throat that made her squirm.

“Now I have less to take off,” Tobin husked. 

“You’ll get your turn,” Christen said, sucking down hard on Tobin’s neck, wanting to leave a hickey, wanting to mark her and give Tobin something to remember this by. Tomorrow, when Tobin looked in the mirror and saw this, she’d think of this moment, and the knowledge of that had Christen’s thighs clenching together.

“Figures you’re bossy in the bedroom,” Tobin said right before letting out a soft groan at the way Christen’s tongue was moving on her throat. 

“Are you complaining?” Christen whispered, her hands moving around to Tobin’s back to find the clasp of the bra.

“Never,” Tobin mumbled, nearly arching into Christen’s hands with want. 

Christen was only slightly disappointed in herself when it took two tries to unclasp Tobin’s bra. She’d used her one perfect, first-try back in Louisville it seemed. But she didn’t let that stop her. She kissed her way up Tobin’s throat, across her clenched jaw, and found Tobin’s lips as her hands pulled the bra straps down Tobin’s arms. 

Tobin couldn’t tell if she shivered because of the cool air on newly revealed skin or because of the way Christen was holding her so close and touching her skin so gently but intentionally. If she were a betting woman, she would say the latter. 

Christen dropped the bra somewhere behind her, thanking it for its beautiful service and then promptly forgetting about it in favor of enjoying her now topless girlfriend. 

Tobin’s tongue was running over Christen’s lips, dipping into Christen’s mouth, her kisses becoming much more passionate and much faster. She couldn’t slow herself down, not when Christen was teasing her with such a slow pace and looking at her with so much lust in her eyes. 

Christen met Tobin pace for pace, her kisses sloppy with want and desire now too. She let her hands rise to ghost under Tobin’s breasts, her fingertips leaving barely-there touches, not venturing up any higher. Christen couldn’t help but tease a little, not when it made Tobin like putty in her hands, not when it led to Tobin begging and pleading.

Tobin gripped at every part of Christen she could reach, her hands wandering from her waist, to the swell of her breasts, then down to the hem of her dress where the smooth skin of her legs started. She wanted more. She wanted Christen to touch her, not just to tease. She wanted to take Christen’s dress off, to lay Christen on the mattress and press herself against her. 

After hearing another keening whine leave Tobin’s lips, Christen finally indulged her. Maybe she’d done a little too much teasing. So, she finally cupped Tobin’s breasts in her palms, her thumbs grazing across hardened nipples, her hands kneading gently. 

Tobin was no longer embarrassed by the string of moans that left her throat. She knew Christen liked hearing them. And the way Christen was touching her left little choice. She had completely surrendered all control to Christen, and Christen was taking full advantage. 

Christen pivoted her hips, pushing Tobin back toward the bed, her hands never ceasing their tortuous ministrations. She was ready to get Tobin in bed, to take that lacy red underwear off, to make Tobin writhe and huff and mewl, to bring Tobin to the brink over and over, and then finally give her release. She was so ready for it, she almost forgot she was still in her dress.

Logic snapped back into Tobin’s mind, clearing some of the cloudy desire for a brief moment. There was absolutely no way that she was going to lay back on Christen’s bed and let Christen have her way with her, completely clothed and smirking the entire time. Without a word, without a warning, Tobin moved her hands to Christen’s hips and turned the green-eyed girl around, so that Christen’s back was pressed against her front. 

“There is no way you’re pushing me onto that bed before I take this off,” Tobin husked, her breath coming out in pants against the shell of Christen’s ear. 

Christen felt a shiver run through her at the sound of Tobin’s voice, at the strength simmering beneath the surface of her touch. She leaned back into Tobin’s chest, her eyes falling shut. 

“I got close, though,” Christen smirked, her chest rising and falling a bit faster now that her thoughts were occupied by Tobin’s touch, instead of touching Tobin.

“You’re very distracting,” Tobin whispered, pushing Christen’s hair out of the way and latching her lips onto Christen’s neck. It was her turn to leave marks, to let Christen know that she could take charge, that she could make Christen feel the same way Christen always made her feel. She ran her hands around Christen’s waist to the front of Christen’s body, settling them low on Christen’s hips and pulling Christen even closer to her body. Tobin moved her lips up and down Christen’s neck, sucking gently on a couple places along her neck and behind Christen’s jaw that were especially sensitive. She sucked hard enough to leave a mark, before letting her tongue brush over the already red places on Christen’s neck. 

Tobin took her time with Christen, eventually moving a hand away from her hips, and pushing Christen’s hair even further to the side, leaving one of her hands on Christen’s waist. She kissed softly against the back of Christen’s neck, something that gave Christen chills every time she did it. Tobin kissed along the back of her neck, dipping lower until she reached the top of the dress where the zipper started. 

“May I?” Tobin hummed against Christen’s skin. 

“You better,” Christen husked, threading her fingers between Tobin’s, their clasped hands held tightly against her hip. She needed the touch to ground her, to keep her from combusting. 

Tobin smirked. She couldn’t decide whether she liked teasing or being teased more. She squeezed Christen’s hand with her own, using her one free hand to pull the zipper maybe an inch down to reveal more skin. She leaned forward and kissed the new skin. Inch by inch, she revealed more of Christen’s back, and inch by inch, she kissed every new expanse of skin. She felt even more heat sink low in her stomach when she saw the back of what looked to be new, dark green lingerie. 

When Tobin finished unzipping the dress, she turned Christen back around and pressed her lips against Christen’s, nipping at her bottom lip and slipping her tongue in Christen’s mouth. She wanted to go as slow as possible, to turn Christen on as much as she’d managed when undressing Tobin. So, instead of pulling the dress off, Tobin moved her lips back to Christen’s neck, kissing up and down along her collar bones, and as low as the plunging neckline of her dress allowed. She ran her fingers down along Christen’s hips, every so often letting her fingers drift below the hem of the dress and slide up her thighs. This dress was one of Tobin’s favorites, one that accentuated Christen’s muscular, long legs, and she wasn’t about to miss her chance to push the hem of the dress up slightly and trace her fingers along smooth skin. 

Christen felt herself squirm under the touch, under the teasing. It seemed that with every brush of Tobin’s fingertips up her thighs or across her hips, she was getting tantalizingly close to doing something, to pushing them forward. But then Tobin would retreat and smirk against her skin. It drove Christen wild, knowing that Tobin was teasing her and was enjoying it. With a growl, Christen fisted a hand tightly in the hair at the back of Tobin’s head. She truly did adore the magic Tobin was working with her mouth, with her hands, she really did. But she needed this dress off ASAP, and Tobin seemed completely unrushed.

“Take it off, baby. Please,” Christen practically begged, not caring in the slightest that her voice came out in a desperate whine. 

Tobin knew she’d been working Christen up. She could feel how warm Christen’s skin was getting. She could hear Christen’s sighs of frustration and need. She hadn’t realized just how desperate Christen was becoming, and she couldn’t stop the smirk that grew on her face when she realized just how much Christen wanted her. Tobin didn’t hesitate to pull the dress down Christen’s arms, kneeling down to connect her mouth to Christen’s hip bones and make Christen squirm even more. She pushed Christen’s dress down her legs, letting her hands brush up and down the back of Christen’s legs, lingering on her calves and the back of her knees and her thighs. 

Christen was feeling herself come completely undone with the slightest of touches, with the briefest caresses of lips across her skin. Her knees were weak, her heart was racing, and her breath was coming out in short, quick pants. She needed to lean back against the side of the bed, to drop onto the edge of the mattress, or else she might completely fall if Tobin skimmed her fingers across the back of her thighs and ran her tongue over her hip bone one more time.

Tobin tried to hide her smirk when Christen sat down on the edge of the bed. She pulled the dress down Christen’s ankles, slipping it off of her girlfriend’s legs and tossing it behind herself. Tobin looked up at Christen, trying to memorize how she looked with her bottom lip between her teeth and her hands clenched on the bedsheets. The green lingerie was even better than Tobin had imagined, accentuating her breasts and making Tobin think, for just a minute, that maybe she should leave the bra on.
Christen noticed Tobin’s focus on her choice of lingerie and she couldn’t help but smile. “I thought- I thought this color would bring out my eyes,” Christen rasped, trying to remember how to breathe, how to function, how to string two coherent thoughts together other than “That was so hot” and “I love looking down at her when she’s between my legs.”

“It brings out a lot more than just your eyes,” Tobin whispered, her voice hoarse and husky and deep. Tobin wrapped a hand around Christen’s ankle, pulling her leg up and pressing her lips on the ankle bone on Christen’s right leg. She traveled slowly, letting her lips press against Christen’s shin and calf and knee before she moved on to the other leg, going just as slowly, wanting to make every second last. She stood from the floor, her fingers still brushing along Christen’s legs, now higher, lingering on her quads. 

If Christen was moments from coming undone before, she was now completely unraveled. There was no way to maintain any semblance of coherent thought, no way to focus on anything other than the want and desire coursing through her. She’d never felt so cherished, so adored, and so turned on in her entire life. It was more than just the way Tobin’s lips seemed to whisper across her skin with promise, it was more than just the way a haze of desire now clouded her favorite pair of brown eyes. It had everything to do with the love she could feel from every touch, every kiss, every look. 

Tobin leaned down and connected her lips to Christen’s, reaching around her back and resting her fingers along the band of Christen’s bra. 

“Do you mind?” Tobin asked, pulling her head back and removing her lips from Christen’s to allow Christen to respond. 

Christen didn’t trust her voice not to break, so she merely nodded.

“That’s a yes?” Tobin teased. 

“God, baby, yes,” Christen choked out, her hands desperately clinging for purchase on Tobin’s hips.

Tobin pressed her lips to Christen’s once again, letting her fingers set about unclasping Christen’s bra, thankfully something that seemed much easier than last time, probably because Tobin might have practiced with her own a couple of times. She pulled Christen’s bra straps down her arms, her lips still moving against Christen’s. Once she’d gotten the bra off and tossed it on the floor, Tobin softly disconnected their lips, just wanting a moment to look. 

From here, it was unchartered territory. This was further than they’d gone in Louisville, further than they’d ever gone. But as Christen took in the sight of her girlfriend, hovering over her, left in only a bit of red lace, with a flush spreading across her chest, Christen didn’t worry about the unchartered nature of this. She couldn’t worry when the want and the readiness were clear to see in Tobin’s eyes.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Tobin mumbled, her eyes skimming over every inch of Christen’s skin. 

Christen blushed as if that was the first time Tobin had ever said that to her. It wasn’t, but it felt different, knowing that Tobin was now seeing parts of her she’d never seen before. 

“Then you clearly have never looked at yourself, because... damn ,” Christen whispered, her eyes flicking down to Tobin’s legs, her hips, her abs, her chest, and then back up to meet Tobin’s eyes. 

Tobin rolled her eyes softly, reaching out to run her index finger under Christen’s jaw. 

“Baby?” Christen asked, her eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of Tobin’s touch.

“Yeah?” Tobin whispered. 

“Will you- I mean, will you let me? I want-” Christen forced her eyes open, to look into Tobin’s eyes when she said this next part, “I want to touch you and show you things and love you like I’ve been dying to for so long. Will you let me?”

Tobin surged forward, meeting Christen’s lips with her own, all teasing set aside, all composure tossed on the floor with their clothing. “Mhm,” Tobin mumbled in the middle of a kiss. “Please,” Tobin nearly whined, already knowing that it would take nothing, maybe a well-placed touch or the right whispered word, for Christen to make her fall apart. 

Christen kissed Tobin back just as hard, just as wanting. She pushed herself up from the bed, her hands falling to Tobin’s hips. She gently pressed against her right hip, turning them around so Tobin was now standing with the back of her thighs against the bed. 

Christen ran her fingers along the hem of Tobinn’s underwear, not teasing any longer, more purposeful now. She used her touch on Tobin’s waist to push Tobin back onto the bed, their lips disconnecting as Tobin dropped to the bed. Christen stepped between Tobin’s parted legs, her fingers hooking into the red lace. 

“You’re sure?” Christen hummed, a small smile on her lips.

“One hundred percent,” Tobin husked, her hips already twitching. 

Christen nodded and then quickly pulled the underwear down and off, dropping them behind her. Now that Tobin was laid completely bare before her, nothing separating them any longer, Christen felt like she’d died and gone to heaven. She was looking down at the most beautiful, most wonderful, most tantalizing woman in the entire world, and she couldn’t believe Tobin was hers. That she got to touch her, to love her, to make her fall apart. 

Christen could see the rapid rise and fall of Tobin’s chest, the almost desperate shine in her eyes. So, she only lingered to press a quick kiss to either of Tobin’s hip bones before crawling up her body. They moved back into the middle of the bed in sync, Christen’s lips setting a brutal pace against Tobin’s. Christen let her hands do the talking, let them tell Tobin how much this meant to her, how much she wanted her. 

Christen didn’t spend time anywhere else, not on Tobin’s chest, not on her hips. Tobin was too far gone. Her kisses tasted of pleas and her whimpers were full of want. Christen rolled off of Tobin, keeping one leg between Tobin’s own, but giving her more room to work. 

Right as Christen’s fingertips skirted past Tobin’s stomach, their destination so very close, Christen pulled away from Tobin’s lips. As much as she wanted to kiss Tobin, to swallow her moans and her breathy pants, Christen would much rather watch Tobin fall apart. 

Tobin tried to chase Christen’s lips, a soft whimper slipping from her lips at the loss of contact. 

Christen indulged Tobin for a moment, kissing her deeply, then pulled away again, her hand stilling on Tobin’s hip. She hovered above Tobin, waiting for her eyes to open, to meet her own. 

Tobin could feel her skin tingling. She was forcing her hips to stay still against the mattress, but not having any contact with Christen was going to drive her crazy. She opened her eyes, immediately meeting the green eyes in front of her own. 

Christen knew the moment was serious and hot and dripping with desire. But she couldn’t help the sweet smile that graced her lips right then, as she looked down at Tobin and was suddenly hit by the full force of her love for Tobin. 

“I love you too,” Tobin husked, reading Christen’s eyes and speaking before the other girl needed to. 

Christen’s smile grew as she finally moved to where Tobin wanted her to most, to where she’d been aiming toward this entire time. With love in her eyes and on Tobin’s lips, she finally touched Tobin and nearly fell apart herself at the warmth and the want between Tobin’s legs. 

A stuttered breath left Christen’s lips as she moved her fingers through molten heat, as Tobin’s eyes squeezed shut and a strangled whine left her lips. 

It didn’t take very long, not that Christen thought it would after months of build-up and tension and almosts. A handful of touches, a few flicks of her wrist, and Tobin was tumbling over the edge, with Christen’s name on her tongue and a deep, guttural moan leaving her lips that Christen had never heard before, but was dying to hear again. 

Christen didn’t mind the tight grip Tobin had on the back of her neck, not so long as she got to watch Tobin ride through every last wave of pleasure she had delivered, as she got to feel Tobin’s hips twitch and body shiver against her own. She had never seen something as beautiful as when Tobin completely came apart beneath her, and she was already dying to go again. But instead of jumping right in for round two, she removed her hand from between Tobin’s legs and leaned down to capture Tobin’s lips with her own.

“Was that okay, baby?” Christen whispered against Tobin’s lips, suddenly feeling the need to check-in, to make sure that every wonderful moment she’d just witnessed had been just that, wonderful.

Tobin felt like she was still gulping for air, still not fully in control of her body. The muscles in her legs were twitching, and her fingers were tangled in Christen’s hair. 

“Are-are you kidding me?” Tobin breathed. “That was so far beyond okay. Tell me why we waited two years to do that?” Tobin asked, her voice breathy and hoarse. 

Christen laughed a bit, looking down at the gorgeous, undone mess that was her girlfriend and feeling nothing but love in her heart. 

“It really was okay, though? Two years in the making is a bit of a high standard to live up to,” Christen replied with a small, tight smile.

“Baby,” Tobin said, her mind finally clearing, especially at the insecurity that she could hear in Christen’s question. “It was perfect.”

Christen beamed, sagging a bit as the weight of her expectations left her. She had come into this wanting to make it special, wanting this first time to be everything Tobin deserved and more. So to hear Tobin use the word perfect made her feel completely at peace.

Tobin tugged softly at Christen, wanting her closer, wanting her pressed against her. After such a perfect, amazing experience, after Christen had made her completely come undone in a matter of a few touches, Tobin finally felt some nerves. The warmth of Christen’s body against her own was comforting, grounding even. It helped her forget about her own inexperience and the anxiety that came with that. Tobin kissed Christen’s cheek gently, moving her lips slowly to the left until she met Christen’s lips and could kiss her. The kiss wasn’t quite as heated as it had been before Christen had made her come. It was softer, sweeter, more tender. 

Tobin only had to hook one of her legs around the back of Christen’s to roll the two of them over. She hovered over Christen, her lips still attached to Christen’s and her tongue teasing with each kiss. Tobin ran her hands along the swell of Christen’s breasts, relishing in just how hard her nipples were beneath her thumbs. She kissed down Christen’s jaw and neck, traveling lower and lower until she could kiss skin that had previously always been covered by a bra. She pressed kisses everywhere except for where Christen really wanted her, working the girl beneath her up again. 

It wasn’t until Christen’s chest lifted off the bed that Tobin took one of her nipples in her mouth, sucking softly and flicking her tongue around it. 

“Fuck,” Christen rasped, threading her fingers into Tobin’s hair and tugging roughly. “I didn’t tease you .”

Tobin smirked against Christen’s skin, feeling more confident with Christen’s words. She moved her hand down, past Christen’s stomach and toward her hips where the thin, green fabric was covering the last bit of Christen’s skin. 

“Are you sure?” Tobin asked, repeating the same thing Christen had asked her, her fingers toying with the waistband of the underwear.  

“Yes, very very sure,” Christen gasped, her hips lifting off the bed, silently begging for Tobin to touch her, to stop teasing, even if Christen knew the teasing wasn’t about to stop.

Tobin pulled the thin material off of Christen, her eyes never leaving Christen’s body, never leaving the expanses of skin that she finally got to see. The word beautiful suddenly didn’t feel like enough. Words like extraordinary and incredible swirled through her mind instead. Tobin moved her hand along Christen’s stomach and over her hips, moving down until her hand was between Christen’s legs. She ran her fingers along Christen’s inner thigh, biding her time and pushing her nerves aside. 

It wasn’t until she touched Christen and felt the warmth between her legs and the desire in the jerk of her hips that Tobin understood why Christen had let out such a ragged breath when she’d first touched Tobin. If she could do one thing for the rest of her life, it would be this. Tobin moved her fingers slowly, torturously slowly, watching Christen’s face to gauge what felt best. It wasn’t until Christen growled in frustration that Tobin decided to pick up the pace. Once Tobin found exactly where Christen wanted her, all it took was a few flicks of her fingers and several whispered words to send Christen careening over the precipice of pleasure. 

Tobin wasn’t entirely sure when it was appropriate to ask someone, post-orgasm, if everything was good, so she bided her time, running her fingers up and down the outside of Christen’s thigh, resting her head on Christen’s chest. 

“If you ask me if that was good, I’m gonna smack you,” Christen gasped, her chest still filling with air at a rapid pace as she came down from her high.

“Because it was....?” Tobin prompted, still not certain if she’d done everything right. 

“As a very sexy woman once put it, it was perfect,” Christen replied, running her fingers up and down Tobin’s bare back as she felt the last of the aftershocks and quivers run through her, as a warm haze of pleasure descended upon her. “You were perfect.”

“Cool,” Tobin murmured, her lips pressed against Christen’s skin, a smile sliding across them. 

Christen chuckled at the choice of words, pressing a kiss to the top of Tobin’s head.

“Very cool,” Christen agreed with a teasing lilt in her voice.

Tobin leaned up and kissed Christen’s lips softly, not pausing to deepen the kiss. There was something she’d been wanting to do for a long time, and after hearing the way that Christen moaned her name when she came, Tobin wasn’t very keen on waiting.

Tobin kissed down Christen’s body, stopping to suck gently on skin or press her tongue against Christen. 

“Baby, I thought it was-” Christen’s voice faltered as Tobin’s teeth scraped across her hip bone. “-my turn.”

“Hmmm?” Tobin sighed, her lips still moving down Christen’s body. 

She kissed down one leg, stopping at the knee before switching to the other leg and kissing her way up. When she reached her final destination, Tobin pulled Christen’s legs up over her shoulders and waited for Christen to make eye contact with her. 

Christen couldn’t understand why Tobin had stopped. She was so close to where she wanted her, and then suddenly her tongue and her lips were gone. Christen forced her eyes to open, to look down the bed, at Tobin between her legs. She bit back a moan at the sight of those smoldering brown eyes. She dropped a hand to Tobin’s shoulder and then threaded her other into Tobin’s hair and gave her an encouraging push.

“May I?” Tobin whispered, knowing full well that Christen wanted her there, that Christen was likely annoyed by her stopping. 

Christen swallowed thickly, using her hand and her hips to encourage Tobin to continue. “Are you going to ask me that every single time because I-”

Tobin slipped her tongue between Christen’s legs, tasting what she’d wanted to taste for a long time and feeling Christen’s hips jerk into her mouth. 

A reckless, raw, unfiltered moan left Christen’s mouth as she held Tobin’s gaze, neither one willing to break it. A part of her wanted to throw her head back, to shut her eyes tightly, and ride this gorgeous train of bliss to the end. But there was a stronger part of her that never wanted to stop looking at Tobin between her legs, at the cocky smirk she could just make out across her lips, at the love and passion she could see in Tobin’s eyes.

It took a few more swipes of Tobin's tongue, a few touches of wandering hands, and several soft kisses for Christen’s back to arch off of the mattress and a whine to slip from her lips. Tobin tried to hide the smirk. She tried to push away any kind of cockiness she felt, but hearing Christen pant out her name and a few choice words did something to Tobin. She ran her tongue through Christen one more time, savoring the taste before she kissed back up Christen’s body, lying down on top of her and holding her through the rest of her aftershocks. 

Christen couldn’t catch her breath. She felt spent and sated and so blissed out, she wondered if she was even still in her own body. Her legs trembled and her stomach clenched and she felt warm all over. When she finally could breathe again, when she’d finally recovered enough to feel the smirk on Tobin’s lips as Tobin pressed her face against her chest, Christen found her voice. 

“Oh my fucking god, Tobin Heath. Where the hell did you learn how to do that?”

Tobin shrugged softly, pressing a kiss against Christen’s skin. There was no way she would ever tell Christen that Ashlyn had sent her information on tongue techniques. “So, that was okay?” Tobin asked, loving the way Christen’s body reacted to her. 

“More than. I don’t even have words right now,” Christen hummed, pulling on Tobin’s shoulder to get Tobin to look up. She quickly dipped her head and captured Tobin’s lips with her own, holding back a moan at the taste of herself on Tobin’s tongue. 

“I’ve never- I mean, no one’s ever done that before,” Christen admitted between kisses, the words a little shy but no less true. “And I’m so glad because I don’t ever want anyone other than you to do what you just did.”

Tobin’s heart fluttered at the subtext, at the idea that Christen only wanted her to go down on her, only wanted her to make her feel that way, only wanted her. 

“I’m happy I got to be the first,” Tobin mumbled between kisses. 

“I really love you,” Christen whispered, tracing her fingertips across Tobin’s cheek softly.

“I really love you, too,” Tobin hummed, enjoying how warm it felt to be completely unclothed with Christen. 

Christen took advantage of how relaxed Tobin was and quickly flipped their positions, with Tobin now on the bed beneath her. She smirked down at the slight look of surprise on Tobin’s face. “Now, I believe it’s my turn,” Christen grinned.

“And here I thought I’d tired you out,” Tobin smirked, brushing her hands along Christen’s sides. 

Christen shook her head and peeled the hair tie off her wrist. She slowly gathered her hair up and put it into a messy bun on her head, reveling in the way Tobin watched her with barely-contained desire. 

“Not even close,” Christen whispered, crawling down and settling between Tobin’s legs with a smirk. “And it’s also my turn to tease.”


They didn’t surface for hours. The candles now burned low, it was closer to morning than night, and yet, the two of them still felt unfinished, unsated.

Christen was looking across the bed at Tobin, her eyes traveling along the dark purple and dark red marks littering Tobin’s chest and neck. She reached out to run her finger from one spot to the next, her head propped up on her hand.

“I hope you packed turtlenecks,” Christen hummed with a smile, not feeling the slightest bit sleepy even if it was so late. “I made constellations.”

“You did,” Tobin grinned. “But who says we’re leaving the house this weekend?” she added, her eyes stuck on Christen’s, her mind still processing how she’d gotten this lucky. 

Christen’s eyebrow quirked as her finger trailed across Tobin’s chest. “Oh, are we not? I get you the whole weekend?” Christen asked, her eyes lighting up.

“If you want,” Tobin nodded. “I did pack turtlenecks, though,” Tobin grinned, having thought of literally everything they could possibly need for the weekend. 

When Christen felt her stomach growl, she chuckled. “Did you pack snacks too? Because for some reason I seem to have worked up an appetite.”

“I can’t imagine how,” Tobin teased, sliding out of bed and walking across the room to the box in the closet that she’d brought from home. 

Christen rolled over in bed, watching Tobin as she walked away, her eyes trailing across the strong lines in her back and her shoulders. Even after having her too many times to keep track of, after making Tobin fall apart and beg and plead, she still wanted more. She had a feeling she’d always want more.

Tobin returned to bed with a grocery bag, smirking at the way Christen was obviously checking her out. “I grabbed a few things. I figure we can order in when it isn’t the middle of the night,” Tobin said, dumping out the contents onto the bed. 

“Mac and cheese?” Christen asked excitedly, sitting up and grabbing the box. 

“That was mostly for nostalgia’s sake,” Tobin grinned. “You said you never wanted it again after we drank so much tequila, but I figured I’d give it a shot.”

“Well the idea of eating mac and cheese with you, naked , sounds really great,” Christen replied, jumping up from the bed. She pulled Tobin in for a slow, lingering kiss and then moved to the dresser. After blowing out the last of the candles, she opened a drawer and pulled out two t-shirts. 

She quickly pulled one over her head and then turned to Tobin to give her the shirt, snorting in amusement at the pout on Tobin’s face. 

“I’m not walking downstairs naked, baby. And neither are you,” Christen hummed, handing Tobin the t-shirt.

“Kelley’s in Georgia, Crystal’s in New York, and Megan’s visiting Sue,” Tobin whined, pulling the t-shirt on anyway. 

“No shirt, no service,” Christen teased.

“Spoilsport,” Tobin mumbled, taking Christen’s hand in her own and leading her to the door and down the stairs. 

“I’ll let you take it off,” Christen whispered, leaning in to kiss the side of Tobin’s neck.

“There’s the positive spin that I was missing,” Tobin laughed. 

After making their way downstairs, Christen quickly set water to boil in a pot on the stove, which was about the extent of her cooking skills. She could bake, sure, but cooking? No way. She was just glad this mac and cheese would be relatively easy to make. 

If it was hard for Tobin to keep her hands off of Christen before having sex, it was impossible now. It seemed like every single thing Christen did turned Tobin on. The way Christen pushed her hair away from her face reminded her of when Christen put her hair up to go down on her. The baggy t-shirt that Christen was wearing covered very little and Tobin had a huge urge to run her hands under the t-shirt. And suddenly, Tobin realized she probably could. There were no windows in the kitchen, no neighbors could be creepy and watch them. They had all the time in the world. 

Christen giggled as Tobin’s hands slid up her thighs, as her lips pressed against the back of her neck. “I’m going to like, burn the water or something if you keep doing that,” Christen hummed, her eyes threatening to flutter closed as Tobin’s lips and hands grew more persistent. 

“A watched pot never boils,” Tobin mumbled against Christen’s neck. 

“And an insatiable girlfriend is dangerous in the kitchen near an open flame,” Christen quipped.

“Soooo, you don’t want me to touch you?” Tobin asked, removing her hands from Christen’s legs. 

Christen sighed at the loss of contact. Even if she was a little hungry, she suddenly had a different sort of hunger that begged for her attention. So, she reached out and flipped the burner off, and then turned around. She threw her arms around Tobin’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. 

“Food can wait,” Christen mumbled against Tobin’s lips.

Tobin pressed a bruising kiss against Christen’s lips, the ten minutes of not touching Christen having done a number on her already. She placed her hands back on Christen’s thighs, pushing the shirt up as her hands moved toward Christen’s waist. 

Christen walked Tobin back and to the right, knowing the fridge wasn’t far away. She wanted Tobin pressed against something and she wanted it now. Whereas earlier in the night, their touches were sweet and affectionate, bringing pleasure with gentleness, now they were fighting for dominance, consumed by the fire between them. 

Christen swallowed Tobin’s huff as she pushed Tobin against the fridge. She quickly snaked her hands beneath the hem of the borrowed t-shirt and ran her nails down Tobin’s stomach. When she felt Tobin’s hands wandering toward her hips, Christen quickly realized she would be fighting Tobin the whole way if they kept this up. So, Christen wrapped her fingers around Tobin’s wrists and pinned their hands on either side of Tobin’s head, magnets and pictures falling to the ground with the force of it.

“Chris,” Tobin growled, tugging softly on her arms to get Christen to relent and let her touch. 

Christen didn’t relent. She kept her grip firm, but not painful, and smirked at the fight she could see in Tobin’s eyes. “Tobs,” Christen mocked, deepening her voice a bit as a cocky smirk made its way onto her lips. “I thought you liked it when I was bossy?”

Tobin let out a long huff. “Of course, she used your own words against you,” Tobin thought, finally keeping her arms still. “That’s not fair.”

“What’s fair is if you keep your hands here, and you don’t touch me, then I won’t stop,” Christen husked, running her nose along Tobin’s.

Tobin could feel heat pooling low in her stomach. She already knew it would take next to nothing for Christen to make her come, even with the magnets poking her in the back. “Deal,” Tobin sighed, knowing that she’d get a turn and already planning what she wanted to do to make Christen moan. 

Christen’s smirk grew as she released her hold on one of Tobin’s hands, and laced her fingers with Tobin’s other hand. She kept her body pressed against Tobin’s, keeping Tobin pinned to the refrigerator. Even if she was dying to make Tobin topple off the edge, she wanted to make it last, she wanted to hear Tobin’s whispered pleas fill the kitchen. She wanted to drive her as high as possible, so the release was that much sweeter. 

Christen ran her tongue teasingly along Tobin’s bottom lip as her right hand dropped to the middle of Tobin’s thigh, her pointer finger running up and down Tobin’s skin slowly. On each pass, she would slip her finger high and higher up Tobin’s leg. On each pass, she would deepen the kiss, moving her mouth with reckless abandon against Tobin’s. 

When she felt Tobin’s grip on her hand tighten, when she felt Tobin’s shaking increase, Christen finally ran her pointer finger up Tobin’s hip and under the shirt. As her touch moved, so did her lips. She kissed and nipped along Tobin’s jaw, as her fingers drew patterns and swirls across Tobin’s trembling skin. She ghosted her fingertips across hardened nipples and under the swells of Tobin’s breasts, smirking into the skin of Tobin’s neck at the stuttered, broken moans leaving Tobin’s lips. 

But then, Tobin broke a rule. She lifted her hand off the refrigerator and threaded her fingers into Christen’s hair and Christen had to smile. Tobin had lasted longer than she expected, but she’d still broken a rule. 

Christen immediately removed her hand from under Tobin’s shirt and moved her head so that her lips were right against Tobin’s ear. 

“Nuh-uh, put it back,” Christen whispered.

Tobin’s jaw clenched, holding back an exasperated sigh. She prided herself on knowing her girlfriend, all the multi-faceted pieces that made up Christen Press. This side to Christen was new, though. This Christen was mischievous and tantalizing and powerful, and as much as Tobin wanted to roll her eyes and take control, this side of Christen Press was extremely sexy. She put her hand back at her side, narrowing her eyes, but holding still. 

“Good girl,” Christen hummed, taking Tobin’s earlobe between her teeth and tugging gently. 

A filthy moan left Tobin’s mouth, her body pressing closer to Christen, her hips practically jerking off of the refrigerator. Bossy Christen clearly did something to her. She needed Christen and she needed her now.  

“Interesting,” Christen thought to herself, filing away Tobin’s reaction away to think about at a later time. Right now, she was busy. 

Christen kept her face buried in the side of Tobin’s neck as her hand found its way beneath the borrowed shirt once more, her torturous pace resuming. She waited as long as she could, slowly building Tobin back up with deft touches and tweaks, with caresses and barely-there brushes. She built Tobin up until she was a stuttering, trembling, incoherent mess.

“Baby,” Tobin whined. 

“Yes…” Christen replied, running her tongue against the base of Tobin’s throat.

“Please,” Tobin begged, her voice shaky and thin, her breaths still quick. 

Christen grinned into Tobin’s neck, her fingertips trailing down Tobin’s stomach, finding a home between Tobin’s legs once more. Usually, Tobin preferred slow and steady, but this time felt different. Tobin was panting in her ear and was twitching against her fingers like slow wasn’t enough anymore. So, Christen quickened her pace.

“Chris,” Tobin panted. 

There was so much want and desire and sex dripping from that one word, from the way Tobin said her name, it nearly made Christen combust. 

“I want-” Tobin hesitated, her body still pushed into Christen’s. 

“Tell me,” Christen replied at a whisper. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“I want you...inside me,” Tobin husked, her face flushing somewhat at the request. 

Christen groaned into Tobin’s neck and pulled her head back so she could look into Tobin’s eyes. There was no way she was going to miss the look on Tobin’s face when she did this. Seeing the slight, embarrassed flush in Tobin’s cheeks, Christen leaned forward and kissed Tobin quickly, wanting to make sure Tobin knew it was okay to ask, it was okay to want.

“I love when you tell me what you want. Please keep telling me,” Christen hummed, pulling back just enough so she could look at Tobin and not go cross-eyed. Keeping her eyes locked with Tobin’s, Christen slid her fingers further down, fulfilling Tobin’s pleading request. 

Tobin’s head tilted back automatically, and a breathy moan slipped from her lips. “Don’t stop,” Tobin mumbled, her head clouded with pleasure as her hips rocked forward into Christen’s hand. 

“As if I would,” Christen thought to herself, placing her lips back on Tobin’s neck. She kept the pace quick, ignoring the burning in her wrist in favor of listening to the string of curses and expletives and moans leaving Tobin’s lips as she drove Tobin closer and closer to the edge. 

It wasn’t long before Tobin was tensing and tightening, then letting out that deep, guttural moan that was quickly becoming Christen’s favorite sound in the entire world. Christen matched her breathing to Tobin’s, her own breaths labored. She could feel a slight trickle of sweat running down her back and her wrist was cramping a bit, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care because she’d just made Tobin come quick and hard, pressed up against the refrigerator in her kitchen. 

“You can move your hands now,” Christen whispered, leaving one final kiss to the column of Tobin’s throat before backing up. She lifted her fingers to her mouth and licked them clean, smirking at the blissed-out look on Tobin’s face. She sashayed back over to the stove and turned the burner on once more, very ready for some mac and cheese now, loving the taste of Tobin on her tongue.  

Tobin’s knees were weak, and her breathing hadn’t yet returned to normal, but she wasn’t about to let Christen walk away without a turn. She leaned forward, nearly lunging across the kitchen and reaching for Christen’s waist. 

“Tobs!” Christen squealed, trying not to trip as Tobin pulled her away from the stove. “The water is on!”

“You can’t burn water,” Tobin mumbled, pressing her lips to Christen’s shoulder. Tobin pulled Christen close to her, not caring about the water on the stove or the pangs of hunger she’d been feeling earlier. The only thing she wanted right this minute was to make Christen beg and moan and say her name again. It was an insatiable desire, one that Tobin didn’t think would ever go away. Tobin could envision a future with Christen, maybe in their own house together, where she would still be completely in love with Christen, completely wrapped around her finger, completely enamored by her. 

Tobin kissed Christen with as much passion and intention as she could. She ran her tongue along Christen’s bottom lip before slipping her tongue past Christen’s lips and along the roof of her mouth. She let her hands wander, sliding along Christen’s back and over her ass, squeezing gently. 

Whatever sounds Christen could make, were quickly swallowed by Tobin, by her desperate kisses and determined mouth. Christen knew this was coming, she knew Tobin’s retribution would be sweet, merciless torture and she welcomed it. She kept her hands in relatively safe places, above Tobin’s borrowed shirt, just waiting for Tobin to decide how and when and what the next round was going to look like.

Without warning, Tobin lowered her hands to the back of Christen’s thighs and lifted her off the ground, stepping away from the stove and moving toward the small kitchen island. She placed Christen on the edge, her lips never leaving Christen’s. Once Christen was sitting on the edge, Tobin ran her fingers lightly up and down Christen’s legs, something she had been doing for most of the night, since Christen’s legs were nearly impossible to ignore.

Tobin stepped in between Christen’s legs, her fingers slipping under the hem of Christen’s t-shirt and making their way up Christen’s torso, brushing over her abs and skimming over soft skin. Tobin cupped Christen’s breasts, running her thumbs lightly over each nipple before she lifted the t-shirt and quickly replaced one thumb with her lips and then the other. 

Tobin kissed down Christen’s body, reaching around Christen to hold her lower back, keeping Christen on the edge of the counter. Tobin kissed Christen’s legs, paying special attention to her inner thighs. She left small marks on the skin there, sucking and scraping her teeth gently against the skin. She then ran her tongue up Christen’s inner thigh, getting closer and closer to where Christen wanted her but never crossing the line. She wanted Christen to ask for it. So, instead of sinking into the warmth between Christen’s legs, Tobin skirted around it, letting her tongue dance right on the edge. Anytime Christen started to moan or gripped her tighter, Tobin pulled her tongue away, moving back down her leg. 

Christen had one hand in Tobin’s hair and the other curled around the edge of the counter. She had her head thrown back, her mind going completely blank every time Tobin got close to where she needed her, only to be painfully wrenched back to reality when Tobin moved away again. She had been a victim of this barely-there teasing for minutes now and she didn’t want to do what was needed for the teasing to stop. She didn’t want to give in and beg. But after Tobin got dangerously close, almost moving her tongue exactly where she wanted her, Christen had had enough. 

“Baby, come on,” she whined softly, her fingers tightening in Tobin’s hair.

“It’s you who needs to come,” Tobin smirked, clearly enjoying herself and the frustration she was causing. 

“It’s you who’s not letting me.”

“Maybe if you asked nicely,” Tobin suggested, her breath ghosting between Christen’s legs. 

Christen let out a strangled groan and looked down, her eyes narrowing at the look of victory on Tobin’s face. 

“Don’t think I won’t get you back for this,” Christen whispered.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the one who started this,” Tobin mumbled, pressing a kiss to the spot Christen wanted her most. 

Christen’s hips jolted and she nearly cried out at the feeling of Tobin’s lips on her. “Damn it,” Christen husked, deciding to just throw in the towel. Her want was too great, too much to deny any longer, no matter the cost. “Please, baby? Please?” she asked, taking her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked down at Tobin.

Tobin slipped her tongue inside Christen, fully tasting her and nearly moaning at the warmth she felt against her mouth. She ran her tongue up to where Christen had been wanting her this whole time, moving slowly at first, building up speed with each pass. Christen’s ankles were hooked around her back, digging into the muscle there, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was the noises Christen was making and the way her body was starting to twitch against Tobin’s mouth. 

A ragged moan filled the kitchen when Christen finally came apart. Tobin kept moving her tongue slowly, savoring the taste and the moment until Christen pulled her up for a kiss. 

“You do some magical things with that mouth,” Christen hummed, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s shoulders and kissing her deeply.

“You taste good,” Tobin sighed, leaning back and running her tongue over her own lips to taste the remainder of what was on her mouth. 

Christen’s eyes darkened as she watched Tobin’s tongue wet her lips, and even if she’d just been lovingly toppled over the edge not moments ago, her skin was already on fire once more.

“We’re going to need fresh water. And then we’re going to need a shower,” Christen said softly, a smile pulling at her lips.

“Together?” Tobin asked, cocking her head to the side. 

“Saves water right?” Christen grinned, remembering back to that day during season when Tobin had made that same off-handed comment.

“I’m very environmentally conscious,” Tobin nodded. 

“Such an attractive trait,” Christen hummed, kissing the tip of Tobin’s nose. “And you know what else would be so attractive?”

“If I boil the water for you and make you mac and cheese?” Tobin guessed. 

Christen grinned. “You read my mind, baby.”


“Ooookay,” Tobin yelped, surprised that Christen’s hand had wandered that low with the bar of soap. Not to mention, she was still feeling sensitive from the orgasm Christen gave her after mac and cheese, and before getting in the shower. “Warn a girl.”

Christen chuckled and retreated to safer territory. “Sorry, my hands have a mind of their own sometimes,” she replied softly, running the bar of soap across Tobin’s stomach, taking her time. 

“Oh, yeah. Blame it on your hands,” Tobin snorted, leaning forward to kiss Christen’s cheek. 

“Didn’t think you had anything against these hands,” Christen quipped, turning her head to kiss Tobin gently.

“You have gifted hands,” Tobin nodded, not embarrassed in the slightest that she enjoyed sex with her girlfriend. “I’m all for letting the hands roam. I’m also very aware that the shower floor is very slippery.”

Christen laughed again, running the bar of soap across Tobin’s chest and then down either arm. 

“We wouldn’t want any shower-sex-related injuries affecting our spring season,” Christen replied with a grin, making sure to imbue every lather and caress of soap on skin with love.

“Honestly...is spring really that important?” Tobin smirked. 

“Wow, from against shower sex to all for it in three seconds flat,” Christen giggled, reaching around Tobin to run the bar of soap across her back and her shoulders. 

“I’m a simple woman,” Tobin sighed, pulling Christen’s hips closer. 

“So, you like sex, I take it?” Christen asked, trying to keep the tone of her voice light despite knowing this was definitely a more serious topic.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Tobin snorted. “I knew I’d like sex. I just didn’t know if I’d be any good at it. It was you I was worried for,” Tobin said. 

Christen rolled her eyes. “You are ridiculously good at it. I just wanted to make sure that this was everything you wanted it to be, you know? It is for me,” she added quietly, dropping the soap onto the rim of the shower and turning around to detach the showerhead. She gently rinsed the soap off of Tobin’s body, waiting for her answer.  

“How could I ask for anything more?” Tobin asked seriously, hearing the honesty in Christen’s voice. “I got to do this for the first time with someone who loves me and who I love, someone who I want to love for a long, long time. I don’t think this could have been any better.”

Christen let out a small sigh of relief. “I feel the exact same way,” she said with a smile, finishing up the rinse off and then putting the showerhead back. “I wondered for a second if this would change anything.”

“I can understand that,” Tobin nodded. “We were friends first, and sex changes a lot…”

“It does. And I know we’ve had this...tension between us for two years,” Christen replied, wrapping her arms around Tobin. “I guess I was a bit worried that once we acted on it, things would be different, that we wouldn’t be us anymore. That’s probably ridiculous, though.” 

“It isn’t ridiculous,” Tobin hummed, noticing that Christen had goosebumps on her arms and moving so that Christen could stand under the warm water. “I could see that being a problem if we only felt lust for one another. But even when I first met you, before I even spoke to you, it wasn’t lust that I felt. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy dreams were nice, but I was intrigued by you. I wanted to understand you, and once I met you and knew you, once I got to talk to you, all I’ve ever wanted to do is love you, in any capacity. I love you, and sure, I also lust after you, but I care about you and for you more than anyone else.” 

Christen sighed under the warm stream of water, letting it and the love in Tobin’s words chase any and all lingering wonders and worries away. 

“I think sex made you sappier,” Christen teased lightly before sobering. “But I’m with you. This was never just about sex for me either, it was deeper than that. It was always going to be deeper than that. I knew from that first day that loving you was inevitable.”

“Oh gosh yeah, the sappiness is excessive today,” Tobin sighed, squeezing water from her hair and pushing it away from her face. “Can I ask you a favor?” Tobin mumbled, almost looking shy about what she wanted. 

Christen tilted her head to the side. “You can always ask me anything, Tobs.”

“Are you planning on washing your hair?” Tobin asked. 

“I- well, I don’t see why I wouldn’t wash it. What’s the favor?” Christen asked, wondering where Tobin was going with all this. 

Tobin dropped her eyes to the floor of the shower, her cheeks heating up instantly. “Can I...uh- wash it, I mean?”

Christen took in a soft intake of breath at the question. Tobin wanted to wash her hair for her. It was something that was so personal and intimate, and Tobin wanted to do that for her. Christen knew they had just spent like, the better half of the night having sex, but this felt bigger than all of that. Sex was easy to fall into, but caring for someone after having sex was a whole other thing. Christen was beyond moved, beyond emotional, at the thought that Tobin wanted to take care of her too.

“You can say no. I didn’t mean for that to sound weird, and some people really don’t want other people messing with hair products or hair. Honestly, I don’t know why I asked,” Tobin backtracked, picking up a bottle of conditioner and pretending to read the back. 

With a smile gracing her lips, Christen tucked a finger under Tobin’s chin, forcing their eyes to meet.

“If you didn’t ramble so much, you would have given me a chance to say yes,” Christen replied gently, taking the conditioner from Tobin’s hand and setting it aside. She reached around Tobin to grab her lavender-scented shampoo, holding it out for Tobin. “You’re very sweet to offer to do this,” Christen added. “Thank you, baby.” 

Tobin carefully pulled the showerhead off the wall and sprayed Christen’s hair, pushing the water and baby hairs away from her face to keep water out of her eyes. She let Christen show her how much shampoo she wanted to use before running it through her wet curls and scratching gently at Christen’s scalp. She used her thumbs to massage Christen’s head, finding a sense of calm in just being able to do something to take care of the girl who loved her and made everything better. 

“I love you,” Tobin whispered.  

“Mmmm, I love you more,” Christen replied, her words slow and languidly-spoken. She was so zen-ed out, the feeling of Tobin’s hands in her hair sending her to a whole new level of calm.

Tobin let out a soft laugh. “That’s not possible, baby.”

“Fine, I love you the same, but can you keep going?” Christen hummed, swaying a bit back into Tobin.

Tobin laughed again, leaning down to kiss Christen’s shoulder. She continued pressing her fingers against Christen’s scalp until her hair was nearly starting to dry with the shampoo still bubbly. Tobin continued with the conditioner, making Christen feel good in an entirely different way than she had been all night. 


DECEMBER 30th

Christen slowly felt herself blink out of sleep, a yawn escaping her lips. She felt a weight on her chest, a weight that was breathing deeply and sleeping soundly, sending puffs of air across her bare chest. 

It took her a moment to gather herself and figure out where she was. But then she looked to her left and saw the television and the living room furniture, and realized she and Tobin had fallen asleep on the couch. 

It took her another moment to remember why they’d come downstairs after showering, but then she did and her cheeks flamed. Megan’s stash of whipped cream she kept hidden at the back of the fridge...yeah, they’d definitely come down to grab that and had just never made it back upstairs. Christen looked to the coffee table and saw the empty whipped cream can lying on its side and had to hold in a laugh. They’d have to replace that before anyone got back. 

Tobin blinked slowly, feeling Christen’s chest rise and fall quickly. She peeked up to look at Christen's face, happy to see that she was laughing. 

“What’s so funny?” Tobin mumbled, her voice sleepy and gruff. 

“Didn’t peg us for canned condiments on the first night, kinda people. But here we are,” Christen hummed.

“We had a lot of time to make up for,” Tobin shrugged, grinning against Christen’s chest. 

Christen beamed and nodded, pulling the blanket further up Tobin’s back, not wanting her to get cold.

“Do you want breakfast?” Tobin asked, her eyes drooping closed again. 

Christen squinted her eyes over at the clock in the kitchen. “It’s like two in the afternoon, baby.” 

“Do you want lunch, then?” Tobin asked, lifting up on an elbow to keep her eyes open and alert. “I’ll get you french fries.”

Christen’s eyes brightened at the suggestion. “French fries?!”

“Mhm. We can go out or call it in. Your choice,” Tobin hummed. 

Christen pretended to think about it, her hands settling low on Tobin’s hips, her fingertips running across her sleep-warmed skin. “Hmmm... definitely delivery. I’m not ready to leave this house just yet,” Christen replied with a smile.

“Thank goodness,” Tobin winked, reaching under the couch and pulling out her phone from where Christen had accidentally knocked it at four in the morning. “What else would you like?” Tobin asked, holding her phone away from her face and blinking so that she could see a little better since her glasses were in her bag upstairs. 

“I was going to say you, naked, but I’ve already got that,” Christen shrugged, her eyes crinkling at how adorable a newly-woken up Tobin was.

“Soooo burgers or pizza?” Tobin asked, smirking at Christen’s words but focused on the task at hand. She could focus much better on being naked with Christen when they were both well-fed. 

“Or both?” Christen wondered, feeling like she could eat so much food right now and still be hungry. She was tired and sore and sated in the absolute best way, and she knew that once she got some food in her, she would be feeling a lot more energized and ready for round...nine? Eleven? She wasn't sure.

“And this is how I know you’re my soulmate,” Tobin said, focused on the phone and their delivery order, her words casual. 

Christen’s breath caught in her throat, her eyes focused on Tobin above her. Christen wondered if Tobin hadn’t registered her own words. If she had, Christen thought that Tobin would probably be a rambling mess right about now. But then Tobin surprised her.

“Are you freaking out because I just called you my soulmate?” Tobin smirked from behind her phone. 

“I’m not freaking out, I’m just surprised you’re not,” Christen replied matter-of-factly.

“Well, you already love me,” Tobin said, her eyes wide and innocent. 

“That’s true,” Christen replied gently, a smile on her lips.

“You already told me that you believe in soulmates when we were driving from New Mexico to L.A. in May. So I figured, worst-case scenario, you don’t know if I’m yours yet, and then, I just get to convince you otherwise,” Tobin shrugged. “Food will be here in twenty minutes.”

Christen blew out a short, wobbly breath. There Tobin went again, saying things that completely turned Christen’s world upside down. Tobin always said them with such ease and nonchalance, that to anyone else it would come off as aloof, but to Christen, she knew the ease and nonchalance came from a place of peace and security, from quiet confidence. She had a habit of doing that, of completely stunning Christen into silence, making her mind go blank and words catch on her tongue and her heart pound in her chest. 

“You really mean that?” Christen whispered, her grip tightening on the small of Tobin’s back, her eyes tracking across Tobin’s relaxed, beautiful features.

“Yes, the food will be here in twenty minutes,” Tobin nodded. “Delivery is really fast these days.” She cracked a smile.

Christen couldn’t help but smile at that, even if she still was a bit in awe about the other things Tobin had said.

“Yes, I really mean it. I was so close to confessing that you’re one of my soulmates when you asked me on the road trip, and then we had to change the tire…” Tobin trailed off. “But I mean it now more than I would have meant it there. You were a soulmate then, but now you’re the soulmate. That doesn’t mean Harry lost her best friend soulmate status, but you’re the soulmate that’s changed how I think about soulmates. The soulmate that’s made me a better person.”

Christen felt overwhelmed in the very best way, and at a total loss for words. So to buy herself some time, she surged up to kiss Tobin, hard, knocking the phone back to the floor. She put all of her feelings, all of her love, even a few happy tears, into that kiss. 

“I wanted it to be me, you know, when I asked you that,” Christen admitted, dropping out of the kiss and lifting a hand to brush away her tears. She smiled up at Tobin, assuaging the momentary worry she saw on her face at the sight of the tears. “I wanted it to be me because I’d already realized you were mine, and that scared the absolute shit out of me.”

Tobin leaned down, running the tip of her nose along Christen’s. “Took us long enough,” Tobin whispered. 

Christen nodded in agreement. “Totally worth the wait,” she grinned.

“Hey,” Tobin whispered, her smile growing even bigger. 

“Uh, hi?” Christen teased.

“We have seventeen minutes,” Tobin mumbled, already pressing kisses along Christen’s collarbones. 

“A very lucky number,” Christen replied, her hand drifting between their bodies and slipping between Tobin’s thighs. Tobin, not one to be outdone, matched Christen’s movements, her own hand finding its way between Christen’s legs. 

It didn’t take them seventeen minutes. It took far less than that for both of them to tumble over the edge, completely in sync, like they always were. But because it only took a few minutes, they were able to go twice more before the doorbell rang.