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If You Like Pina Coladas

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‘I drank it!’ Arthur shouted as he burst through the door to their room, slamming it shut behind him.

‘Drank what?’

Merlin barely managed to get in front of Arthur in time to prevent him falling over and smashing his face on the carpet.

‘Pina Colada,’ Arthur slurred at Merlin. ‘Loss ‘n loss of it. S’lovely.’

‘Oh good.’ Merlin murmured as he tried to decide whether to get Arthur into bed and then decloth him, or do it the other way round.  Not because either made a difference to him – magic was brilliant for sorting out a drunk Arthur - but because it might have a bearing on whether his inebriated Prince was actually sick.

At which point he realised Arthur was peering solemnly at him.

‘You’re loverlier than pinac'ladas,’ he announced as if he’d discovered the secret of all existance. ‘Reallyreallyreally lovely. N’sexy. Veeeeeery sexy.’

‘Good job you’ve said something similar before, or I’d think it was just the drink talking.’

Arthur shook his head and said, extremely seriously, ‘Drinks can’t talk.’

Merlin stifled a laugh and decided getting him horizontal was the most pressing need. ‘Glad we’ve sorted that one out.’

‘Wha?’ Arthur blinked up at him from his now prone position on the bed. ‘How d’you … magic!’

‘Yes, magic. Now do you want water and aspirins before I take your clothes off or after?’

Arthur grinned up at Merlin and then, with a swiftness that completely belied the advanced state of inebriation, grabbed Merlin’s arm and pulled him down on top of him.

‘I’ll always take m'clothes off f’you … giss a kiss.’

Merlin tried not to gag at the sickly sweet smell of coconut, pineapple and rum wafting out of Arthur’s mouth. ‘Maybe later,’ he said as he slid off the bed, leaving Arthur clutching at air.

‘Oh.’ Arthur’s face crumpled, mouth quivering slightly, expression completely forlorn. ‘Don’t you want me? Don’t you think ‘m sexy? Cos …’

Arthur’s mouth snapped shut, his eyes widened, and then, before Merlin could do anything sensible, like get out of the way, he made a hiccuping sort of noise and then vomited copiously - all over himself, the bed, and Merlin’s shoes.

‘Yes,’ Merlin said drily as his eyes glowed golden, making the puddles of greyish-yellow dissapear as quickly as they’d come, ‘really sexy.’