In retrospect, Junmyeon should've seen this coming. After all, he has been friends with Jongin and Kyungsoo long enough to know that those two and alcohol are not a safe combination.
The night had started enjoyable. Junmyeon had gathered his friends to announce that he and Yixing were finally engaged. It was no surprise, but the news was still received with happiness.
It was supposed to be a celebration, so there was no reason not to drink. Somehow, the joy in the air caused Junmyeon to forget how Jongin and Kyungsoo tend to loosen any barrier when the alcohol starts to kick in. That's how, without any shame, Jongin, the usually shy and seemingly innocent younger man of their group, asked something about Junmyeon and Yixing's intimacy. Soon, one question followed another. And before he could take control of the situation, Kyungsoo and Jongin were arguing which one of them would have been the best gay lover of Junmeyon's life.
Thankfully, when he looks at Yixing, his fiancé is laughing at their stupidity.
"My cock is bigger than yours," Kyungsoo slurs, his eyes looking dangerously close to fluttering shut while somehow still being able to glare at Jongin.
Usually, Kyungsoo's scowl would be enough to make a 6-foot Jongin shrink. But drunk Jongin only ignores him and rolls his eyes. "I-It's not," he hiccups. "Don't believe him, hyung. Mine is bigger."
"I can prove it," Kyungsoo says, slamming his bottle of beer on the table before quickly getting up. His hands were already on his zipper when Yixing managed to pull him down, forcing him to sit again. Luckily, the movement made him dizzy enough to not try to get up one more time.
"Pff. Whatever. Size doesn't matter, right, Junmeyeonnie?" Jongin flutters his eyelashes at Junmyeon, looking like a puppy as he clings to his arm.
Junmyeon scoffs. "It's hyung to you, you brat," he groans, successfully pulling Jongin off of him. "And you are right, Jongin. It's not the size that matters, but luckily for me, Yixing's cock is big, and he knows how to use it. Which I doubt that either of your straight cocks can. Because if it did, none of you would be single right now. So how about you two stop arguing? Neither of you will ever win. I already have the best lover."
Junmyeon doesn't wait for a reply, going back to his drink. It's the sound of sniffing that makes him look to his side again.
"So you're saying you hate me? I'm not good enough?" Jongin cries, making Junmyeon raise his eyebrows, clearly surprised by the tears running down his friend's cheek.
Maybe it's time for them to go home.
"Hyung," Jongin whines. He stands up from his seat, stumbling his way up to Kyungsoo on the other side of the booth. Instead of making space for him to sit, Kyungsoo lets Jongin fall on his lap, rubbing his back as Jongin cries on his shoulder.
"Alright, let's get both of you home," Junmyeon announces with a sigh.
When Kyungsoo and Jongin met for the first time, they were both still in college pursuing the same career, in graphic design. While the two shared some classes, it was through Junmyeon that they actually met. At the time, Kyungsoo had started his minor in photography and was eager to take pictures of sports events just for fun. Junmyeon, who was on the swim team and loved being photographed, quickly became friends with him, dragging the poor boy into their group, where it turns out he would fit right in.
But even then, it took a while for Jongin and Kyungsoo to become friends. The aspiring photographer would always ask to take pictures of Jongin, who thought that was weird. Not only were they not that close, Jongin, being shy as he was, couldn't understand why Kyungsoo wanted so badly to photograph him. So he would always say no. But Kyungsoo still kept asking as if one day he would get the answer he wanted until finally, Jongin snapped at him.
It was the first fight they had, one that unexpectedly brought them closer.
Only months after becoming friends, they decided to live together. And have been roommates ever since.
Kyungsoo and Jongin are still pretty drunk when with the help of their friends, they stumble into their apartment that night. In the dark, Kyungsoo finds his way to the couch, where he crashes down, while Jongin stays by the door, still sulking about not winning against his best friend. When Jongin turns around, he sees that Kyungsoo is fast asleep, or at least that's what his eyes make out.
"He knows I would be the best lover. He just didn't want to say it in front of you," Jongin complains, thinking that Kyungsoo can't listen.
Maybe Jongin is not as drunk as he thought he was. Because when his eyes finally adjust to the dark, Jongin sees Kyungsoo looking back at him as if he wants to eat him alive. He feels a shiver running down his spine. They stare at each other for an uncomfortably long time; not once does Jongin look away, too scared to do anything. Neither of them says anything, but the living room is far from quiet with how loud Jongin's heart is beating in his chest. He has no idea what is going on inside Kyungsoo's head, but the way he stares at him makes every cell in Jongin's body alert. In almost ten years that they've lived together, Jongin has had the misfortune of feeling this way a few times. And he knows very well that nothing good follows.
Just as Jongin decides to run for his bedroom, Kyungsoo gets up from the couch, and suddenly, his legs refuse to move. There's no point in running anyway. If he's lucky, Kyungsoo might not remember any of this in the morning. But right now, Jongin isn't willing to wait and see. Knowing Kyungsoo, the punishment could be worse if he tried to run.
Despite his intimidating aura, Kyungsoo has never been too harsh with Jongin, nothing he couldn't take. So accepting his fate, Jongin squeezes his eyes, expecting to get his ear pulled or a slap on the side of his head. What Kyungsoo does instead completely takes the breath out of his lungs.
Strong hands hold his waist, pressing him against the door with force, and before Jongin can even think about what is happening, he feels a pair of lips smashing against his. His eyes pop open immediately, like the female lead in one of those dramas his mother likes to watch. Of all the things he was assuming Kyungsoo would do to him, kissing never once crossed his mind. It's strange having his best friend's lips against his, but weirdly enough, it's actually not bad. It has been a while since Jongin kissed someone, so in his mind, he justifies himself as being lonely when he starts to reciprocate the kiss. There is a little bit of curiosity in his intentions too, and he can't really think of any reason why he shouldn't kiss Kyungsoo back. But right then, Kyungsoo pulls away.
"Still think you would be better than me?" Kyungsoo asks with his deep voice, and Jongin can't help how his eyes focus on the other's mouth as he does so.
In his mind, Jongin knows that the right thing to do would be to say that Kyungsoo was right and go take a cold shower next. But that big stupid brain of his is also stubborn and can't accept admitting defeat.
"Yeah," he scoffs. "You call that a kiss? You didn't even use tongue."
Kyungsoo's eyebrows twitch in surprise before he leans forward again. This time Jongin sees him coming. His eyes slip closed as one of Kyungsoo's hands finds its way around his neck, pulling Jongin closer to him, pressing their lips together. For some reason not even he can understand, Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's shoulder as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. He can taste the alcohol in Kyungsoo's tongue, and immediately he can feel his temperature rising. He's so dangerously close to melting, and, for better or worse, he wouldn't be mad if it actually happened. He had no idea that kissing his best friend would be so good. So much that when Kyungsoo pulls back again, Jongin has to stop himself from whining. Instinctively, his lips chase after Kyungsoo's but with no success.
"What about now?" Kyungsoo asks.
Jongin doesn't think twice before answering. They've already come this far. Why stop now if it's so pleasurable?
"Still not good, maybe you should try again."
This time Jongin is the one who leans in first.
Jongin can't sleep. The last time he checked his phone, it was four in the morning, and he has been tossing and turning ever since. At some point, he woke up needing to pee and found himself lying on the couch with Kyungsoo. His confusion only lasted for the time that it took him to get to the bathroom. One look at the hickey marks on his neck and the memories of making out with his best friend came back to him real quick.
Oddly, thinking about it left him feeling warm all over. A warmth that he had never felt because of a man before, let alone his best friend. But it wasn't weird, right? Kyungsoo is an experienced man. He's confident, and as far as Jongin knows, there have never been any complaints from his past girlfriends. So it was only natural that his body would react that way to the memory of a good kiss. But good or not, in the end, this was still his best friend. And a shower would help his body to cool down.
Once he got out of the bathroom, Jongin thought about waking Kyungsoo to tell him to go to sleep in his own bedroom. But decided he didn't want to face him yet. It was his provocation that led his best friend to do the unthinkable. Even if he is okay with what happened, there is no way to know how Kyungsoo will react when he's sober. So eventually, Jongin is going to have to apologize. But that can wait until he's well-rested. Which by now, he doubts it's even possible.
When sunlight inevitably invades his room, Jongin gives up counting sheep and gets up. He goes to the kitchen to get something to eat, and on the way, he passes by Kyungsoo, who is still sleeping in the same spot. Oh, how Jongin envies him.
He lets out a frustrated sigh and turns to the kitchen. Neither he nor Kyungsoo knows how to cook, so they mostly just order food. Unfortunately, there are no leftovers in the fridge. Instead, he opens the top cabinets above the sink, looking for a pack of ramen. With that in hand, he grabs a pan, filling it with water before bringing it to the stove.
If his mom were to see him right now, she would say that this is not the time to be eating ramen. But to Jongin, there is no such thing.
When it's done, he sets the pan down on the small kitchen table they have and sits down, ready to eat. He may not know how to make rice or even fry an egg without getting bits of shell on it, but he certainly makes one hell of ramen. He's halfway through the food when he hears a groan coming from the living room. Seconds later, a groggy Kyungsoo walks into the kitchen. His eyes are barely open, and his hair is a mess. He goes over to the fridge and grabs the first bottle of water he finds, throwing his head back as he starts chugging.
Jongin continues to eat silently, but his eyes stay glued on Kyungsoo. More specifically on the pair of lips attached to the bottle and the way his throat works as he drinks.
When the bottle is empty, Kyungsoo throws it on the sink before closing the fridge. That's when his eyes land on Jongin, finally noticing his presence.
"What are you eating?" he asks, scratching his chin. His voice is hoarse, as it always is in the mornings. Over ten years of friendship, and Jongin has yet to get used to it. But something about Kyungsoo's voice this morning makes Jongin choke on the noodles inside his mouth.
He coughs, beating his chest with one hand while the other reaches for the glass of water in front of him. Only when he's breathing normally again does Jongin realize that Kyungsoo is sitting on the other side of the table, looking over at the ramen.
"Give me some," Kyungsoo says, opening his mouth.
Jongin looks at him with a scowl. He purses his lips, puffing his cheeks before giving in. He hates sharing his food, but there is not much left anyway, and after almost dying just now, Jongin can say he lost his appetite. He drops the chopsticks inside the pan and slides it over to Kyungsoo.
Neither of them says anything. Kyungsoo is busy devouring the ramen while Jongin finds himself in a trance, watching Kyungsoo's lips moving as he slurps some noodles into his mouth. Jongin blinks when he realizes what he is doing, looking into Kyungsoo's eyes instead. To his surprise, his best friend is staring back at him, eyes so intense making Jongin gulp.
"W-what?" Jongin questions when Kyungsoo continues to stare.
"I kissed you last night. Do you remember that?"
"I do." Under Kyungsoo's gaze, Jongin's afraid that his best friend will be able to read him like an open book. And the problem with that is that Jongin can't be sure of what Kyungsoo might find. "Why did you, by the way?"
"To shut you up," Kyungsoo replies, finally averting his eyes. At that, Jongin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
Instantly, his eyebrows furrow again. "There are better ways to do that."
"Maybe. But that was pretty effective, wasn't it? I might do it again. So be careful next time. Now you know what's coming for you."
"Ah, hyung," Jongin smiles, amused. "Was that supposed to scare me? If you must know, that was a good kiss. I hate to say it, but if Junmyeon had never met Yixing, you would've been a great gay lover to him."
Kyungsoo shakes his head. "Nah, no way. You would've been way better than me. The way you were grinding on me at some point? Shit, it's like you were born to be someone's gay lover."
Jongin isn't sure Kyungsoo means it or if he's just mocking him, but either way, the memory of said grinding makes his cheeks heat up. Jongin himself didn't know he had that in him.
"Really, hyung?" he asks, just to make sure, getting a nod from Kyungsoo. "Alright, I'm gonna tell Junmyeon I won then," he decides, sending Kyungsoo a big smile as he gets up. If his best friend is admitting defeat, who is Jongin to not accept this victory?
As a child, Jongin wanted to be a pilot. He used to watch Star Wars and dream of becoming one. But as a teenager, he understood how difficult that would be, considering that heights were one of his biggest fears. Having no other passion, he needed to look for a job where he could earn enough to live comfortably. That's when he discovered graphic design.
It was challenging most of the time. Some clients can be frustrating, and being the perfectionist that he is, Jongin isn't innocent regarding making the job easy. But working as a freelancer, he is his own boss. He can work from home and be in charge of his own work schedule.
In Jongin's opinion, the only thing better than this would be to win the lottery. And he was never lucky enough for that.
But it's okay because not many people get to sit at home doing nothing on a Saturday. Kyungsoo, for example, is one of them. From what Jongin remembers, today Kyungsoo had a wedding to photograph. So by the time Jongin wakes up, his best friend is already gone.
After going back to his room early that morning, Jongin had laid down on his bed, grabbing his phone to text Junmyeon. Initially, he was only going to brag about winning his and Kyungsoo's little competition. But as the minutes passed with no reply from the other, who was probably asleep, Jongin decided to share the events that led to his victory. He told Junmyeon about the kiss and how he felt about it. Right before falling asleep, he sent a text asking his friend if that meant he was a little bit gay.
It was already when he woke up hours later. And on his phone, there was a message from Junmyeon. "Yes, you caught the gayness. Kiss him back if you want to undo the gay."
After staring at his phone for a good five minutes, Jongin got up, deciding to ignore him. Junmyeon was only 36 but had the humor of a middle-aged man.
But now, as he sat in the living room, watching TV, the idea of kissing Kyungsoo again didn't seem so ridiculous. As he watched the two characters on screen making out as if their lives depended on it, all Jongin could see was him and Kyungsoo. And he realized how dry his lips felt without Kyungsoo's touching his.
The more he thinks about it, the more the idea doesn't sound so crazy. Kyungsoo even said he might do it again next time Jongin pisses him off, so that means he probably wants it too, right?
He could just ask Kyungsoo to kiss him again, but that would give his best friend the power to boast. If he wants to kiss Kyungsoo again, he's gonna have to do it himself. It's like Junmyeon said, he will only be returning it. The problem is, he doesn't think he dares to do it while sober.
Before he can change his mind, Jongin grabs his wallet and goes out to the nearest convenience store to buy beer. On the way home, he also gets fried chicken. Can't have beer without fried chicken!
Kyungsoo arrives home a little after 9 pm, looking tired as he always is after events like this. But he immediately perks up once he sees the plate of chicken and the beer that Jongin set on the coffee table. He closes the door just as Jongin sits down on the couch after going to the kitchen to grab the bottle of soju that they keep in the back of the cabinet, along with two shot glasses.
"Ah, finally. I had to reheat the chicken three times so that it would be warm when you got home. Did you know that?"
"What's all this?" Kyungsoo asks, placing his keys in the key holder.
"For my favorite hyung, of course," Jongin replies, opening a beer can before lifting it in Kyungsoo's direction. "To apologize for being a brat sometimes."
"You mean always," Kyungsoo interrupts. He sets the bag with his equipment by the door and goes to the couch next, grabbing the beer from Jongin, who scowls at him.
"Like I said, sometimes. But anyway, I also thought we could play a little game with this show that I'm watching," Jongin tells him, grabbing the remote and pressing play. "So we are supposed to take a shot every time Wei WuXian says Lan Zhan," he explains, opening his own beer can as he reclines back.
Kyungsoo hums. "And who is Wei Wuxian?"
"The one in black."
"That one." Jongin points at the TV.
They sit back and focus on the show. Jongin asks how the wedding was. Kyungsoo complains that he doesn't understand what is happening on the TV. And by the time the first episode ends, they have finished the fried chicken. By the time the second episode ends, they are both tipsy. When the third episode ends, a message on the screen questions if they are still watching. But neither of them notice that, too busy moving their lips against each other.
"Aren't you going to watch the show?" Kyungsoo asks when Jongin breaks the kiss.
"I've already watched like three times," Jongin replies, licking at Kyungsoo's neck. He feels the vibrations on Kyungsoo's throat when his best friend laughs.
"You just wanted to kiss me, then? You know you could've just asked," Kyungsoo teases, with a stupid smirk on his face making Jongin roll his eyes.
"Shut up," he grumbles before jumping on Kyungsoo again.
Jongin's body is acting on its own as he lifts himself from the couch to sit on Kyungsoo's lap. It's for a better angle; his drunken brain tries to make sense. Though he has nothing to worry about. The new position is gladly welcomed by Kyungsoo, who even pulls him closer by the waist.
Suddenly, Jongin remembers what Kyungsoo said, how he liked when Jongin rutted against him and doesn't think twice before moving his hips. He can't help the moan that escapes his lips as he feels Kyungsoo's erection poking between his legs. His own cock aches inside his pants, and he doesn't need to look down to know how wet the front of his underwear is. He can feel it, just like he can feel his own pulse racing, heart beating so fast he's scared of not coming out of this alive.
They are both out of breath when Jongin pulls back, dragging Kyungsoo's bottom lip between his teeth. His eyes are stuck on Kyungsoo's as he lowers his hand down on his best friend's bulge, experimentally. He has never done any of this with a man before, so he asks himself what he thinks Kyungso would like. Judging by the shaky breath that Kyungsoo lets out, Jongin assumes that he's doing something right.
There's a warning behind Kyungsoo's eyes that Jongin decides to ignore. It's the same warning that has been flashing through his mind since the night before. But thinking if this is a good idea won't get Jongin where he wants to. The line has already been crossed, and it's Kyungsoo's fault for giving him a taste of how good he can make Jongin feel.
Maybe it's because it's been so long since Jongin has been with someone, but everything feels so intense. He is so light-headed, unsure if it's the effect of the alcohol or Kyungsoo's kisses; the sensation is incredible, and he just wants more.
He touches Kyungsoo with curiosity, groping his bulge until Kyungsoo is completely hard.
"Keep going," his best friend says, almost like he dares. And it's just what Jongin needs to hear before he unzips Kyungsoo's pants, dragging it down along with his underwear, freeing his cock at once.
Jongin has seen his best friend's cock about a million times before, but never hard like this. It's bigger and thicker than he remembers, and that should be a blow to Jongin's ego because, unlike Kyungsoo, there is not much change when his dick is erect. But instead, Jongin feels proud because he is doing that. Touching another man's cock shouldn't give him so much satisfaction, but the fact that he can make Kyungsoo weak for him is enough to count this as a victory. And for that reason, Jongin decides he won't stop until he gets to see Kyungsoo come.
He wraps a hand around Kyungsoo's bare cock, feeling the pulsing veins under his fingers. He can't tell if he's imagining things, but Kyungsoo's cock feels so heavy. He must have said this out loud because the next thing he knows, Kyungsoo is laughing.
"You like it?" Kyungsoo asks, pulling the waistband of Jongin's sweatpants down under his butt.
"I don't know yet," Jongin replies, licking his lips that suddenly went dry.
Unlike him, Kyungsoo is confident when he begins jerking Jongin off. His touch is so precise that for a moment, Jongin wonders if he has done this before. But then his mind goes black; his eyes slip closed as his mouth falls open. Jongin has always been very vocal about his pleasure, and it's not any different now. Drunk on alcohol and lust, his moans are even louder than usual. And Kyungsoo seems to like that if the way his cock throbs in Jongin's hand is any indicator.
As if he wasn't a mess already, Jongin completely loses when Kyungsoo grasps both erections and starts rubbing them together. However, the amount of pre-cum is not enough to make it nicely wet. Jongin regrets not anticipating this and preparing a bottle of lube. But as if reading his mind, Kyungsoo spits on his hand, sliding it up and down on their lengths.
Jongin has to bite hard on his bottom lip, attempting to hold it in, not wanting to be the first one to lose control. But it all explodes when Kyungsoo massages his balls. He places both hands on Kyungsoo's chest, trying to steady himself as his cock continues to leak.
Kyungsoo, now focused on his own orgasm, spreads the cum all over their cocks, and Jongin's eyes fill with tears. If he knew it would be this good, he would have jumped on Kyungsoo sooner.
With the little sanity still left in him, Jongin leans forward, seeking Kyungsoo's mouth. He thrusts his hips, despite how sensitive he's starting to feel, and soon Kyungsoo is spilling all over his hand.
Carefully, Jongin sits back down on the couch. He pulls his sweatpants the rest of the way, using them to clean any cum off his skin. When he is done, Jongin tosses the pants on the floor, unbothered by making a mess; that's something for Jongin of tomorrow to be concerned about.
When he turns to look at Kyungsoo, his best friend is fast asleep.
"I'm impressed you even had any energy at all after working for hours," he comments out loud.
He didn't even clean his hand, Jongin thinks, before taking off his shirt to wipe it for him. He's already naked from the waist down; what's the difference?
Eventually, he sighs, feeling tired too. He turns off the TV and helps Kyungsoo lie down on the couch before getting up and going to his room. His mission was accomplished. He got the kisses he wanted and more. Anything else can wait until tomorrow.
The first thing Jongin sees when he steps into the kitchen the next day is Kyungsoo, sitting with his laptop on the small table. From what he can see as he walks closer, Kyungsoo is editing the photos from what Jongin assumes is the wedding from yesterday. That's something he usually does in his room, but Jongin's head is aching too much for him to care.
He goes straight to the fridge, glancing at Kyungsoo, who turns in his direction, acknowledging his presence. He looks better than Jongin feels as if he hadn't drank with him the night before.
"What are you doing here?" Jongin asks after drinking some water.
"Waiting for you," Kyungsoo replies. He closes his laptop and points to the chair across from him. "Sit down." His eyes are intense as they follow Jongin, who wonders what this is all about. Whatever it is, Kyungsoo is serious. So Jongin concentrates all his attention on him.
"We've been friends for over ten years, haven't we? I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me. I won't judge you, okay?"
"Okay," Jongin mumbles, hesitantly.
"Do you have a crush on me?" Kyungsoo deadpans, making Jongin choke on air.
His eyes widened. "What?" Jongin questions, shocked that Kyungsoo even needs to ask this. He must have heard him wrong.
"I don't know... the way you've been behaving since I kissed you on Friday. Who knows? Maybe you have a long-secret crush on me and only now acting on it because you think I like you too," Kyungsoo shrugs. "I just don't want to hurt your feelings."
"There are no feelings, none, zero," Jongin quickly denies, waving his hands. "You don't have to worry.
If Jongin is being honest, he can see why Kyungsoo would think that. But he is at fault for kissing Jongin first. So shouldn't he be the one asking Kyungsoo that instead?
"Look, the truth is I liked kissing you. Maybe it's because I'm lonely, but I liked how it made me feel, and I wanted to feel it again. But I don't have any romantic feelings for you. I love you, but as my best friend."
"Okay, I believe you," Kyungsoo says, understanding. "You know I love you too, right? As a friend, of course."
"I know," Jongin mumbles, his whole body relaxing.
"We can continue to kiss if you want to. I don't mind."
Jongin shakes his head. "No, it's okay. I'll just update my dating profile and get myself a girlfriend. I don't want things to be weird between us.
"Hey, it's not weird." Kyungsoo reaches across the table and gently squeezes Jongin's shoulder. "I really don't mind. I haven't been with someone in a while, so I can understand what you mean about feeling lonely. And I wouldn't have done what we did last night if I didn't want to. We can make out whenever we feel like to, and maybe even more," he proposes, arching his eyebrows suggestively.
Jongin glares at him, feeling his cheeks heating up at what Kyungsoo is implying. He doesn't know who is more shameless; Kyungsoo for suggesting or him for considering.
Before Jongin can even think of a reply, Kyungsoo gets up from his chair and leans his body across the table. One hand on Jongin's shoulder as the other slides to his cheek. And then Kyungsoo kisses him. Similar to the first kiss he gave Jongin two nights ago, just two mouths touching each other, but much, much softer this time.
Something stirs inside Jongin's stomach. He can't explain what it is, but his fuzzy brain assumes that it is hunger. It has to be.
When Kyungsoo leans back, he looks directly into Jongin's eyes. "It's not a big deal, just two bros helping each other out," he says, simple as that.
And he is right. What are friends for, if not to help one another? Still, Jongin wishes he could at least pretend like he wasn't so eager to say yes.
"You can do better than that," he whispers, daring Kyungsoo to kiss him again. Deeper this time.
But Kyungsoo only smiles, caressing his cheek. "I'm not going to french kiss you when you haven't even brushed your teeth yet."
Jongin scoffs before placing both hands on the sides of Kyungsoo's face. He quickly smashes their lips together and then lets go of Kyungsoo as he gets up.
"You said I could do that whenever I wanted."
What Jongin likes to do whenever he is bored is to watch porn. If he's lucky, he will find something interesting that will get him off. But Jongin is a bit picky about what he likes, so most of the time, he just scrolls through the videos without seeing anything that arouses him.
Today is not any different. Jongin has been clicking on one video after the other, and nothing seems to appeal to him. That's when a crazy idea occurs to him. He hesitates for a moment before clicking on the gay porn section.
It is not much different from what he was watching before. Ultimately, it's just naked people having sex. The first video he watches starts with the two men on-screen kissing. But only a few seconds later, it transitions to a scene where one of them is on the floor, giving the other a blowjob. Somehow their groans and the sound of the man's mouth on the other's cock, manages to turn Jongin on.
He and Kyungsoo haven't done anything other than rub against each other. But as the camera angle changes, showing how hard and leaking the bottom is just from giving head, Jongin gets curious about how that would feel like. He has been blown many times, so he knows how good that is. But is having a cock inside your mouth just as pleasurable as the bottom is making it seem?
That's when Jongin gets an even crazier idea. Luckily for him, he doesn't have to just wonder because Kyungsoo is home. So quickly, he closes his laptop and marches to Kyungsoo's room.
"Let's have sex," he announces as soon as he opens the door.
Kyungsoo, who is sitting at his computer desk, turns to look at him. "Can't it wait?" he asks wide-eyed. "I'm playing league of legends."
Jongin's boner almost goes down at the mention of that game. Of course, Kyungsoo is playing. He has to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. It's a game that Kyungsoo has been playing for years, but only recently it started to annoy Jongin. As much as Kyungsoo claims he is not addicted, he has left Jongin with blue balls more than once just to play that stupid game.
"I'm horny," Jongin urges, clutching his crotch to emphasize his need.
Kyungsoo sighs, defeated and turns back to the computer screen. "Chanyeol, I have to go," he says into the microphone before turning the computer off.
"Chanyeol? Shouldn't he be taking care of his daughter instead of playing?" Jongin questions with a scowl, angry at the thought of Kyungsoo's sister having to do all the work because her husband is another addict. But then Kyungsoo is getting up, and suddenly Jongin doesn't care anymore. "You know what? Don't answer. Just take your clothes off."
It doesn't take long for them to undress and get on the bed, Kyungsoo carrying the almost empty bottle of lube. It goes without saying how much they have used in the last month.
"Do you have a condom? I was hoping we could do more, you know."
"I don't, actually," Kyungsoo says, raising an eyebrow at Jongin's initiative.
Jongin nods. "I have some. Guess I'll have to top." He smiles, motioning to get up when strong hands pull him back to the bed. Behind him, Kyungsoo chuckles.
"You are so cute, Jongin. You think you can fuck me and make me cum with that little cock of yours?"
Jongin scoffs, offended. He hasn't heard any complaints before. But if that's what Kyungsoo wants to think, he'll just have to prove him wrong.
"All right then," Jongin says, raising his fist. "Best of three. Ready?"
He picks scissors, as he always does. And Kyungsoo, who knows him well, goes with rock. Undoubtedly, Kyungsoo wins in the end.
He gloats, victorious, deciding to go out and buy some condoms. But before he can do that, Jongin stops him. "It's okay. Just this once, you can fuck me raw."
Kyungsoo doesn't need to be told twice. "Bend over, pretty boy," he says, slapping his friend's thigh just for fun.
Pouting at the sting sensation, Jongin turns on his belly. As he does so, his eyes fix on Kyungsoo's soft cock, and that's when it hits him that they are actually going to do this. Anticipation builds up in his stomach. And when he realizes what is happening, Kyungsoo's hands are pulling his ass cheeks apart. He has never been in this position before, for anyone, and he never imagined that his best friend would be the one to see him like this. It's different and unfamiliar, but at least he trusts Kyungsoo. If it had to be anyone, Jongin is glad it's his best friend.
Quickly, Jongin turns his head back, wondering what is wrong. "What?" he questions when Kyungsoo continues to stare at his ass.
That makes Kyungsoo snap out of his daze and look straight into his eyes. "Oh, nothing. It's just... your cock is so hairy. I thought you would be hairy back here too. But it's so smooth," he explains, sliding a finger where Jongin has never been touched before, making him shiver. Kyungsoo then flashes him an irritating smirk. "Did you perhaps shave it for me, Jongin?"
Jongin's eyes widen. He feels his whole face turning red, out of embarrassment and rage.
"I-" He doesn't even know what to say. Doesn't know if he wants to punch Kyungsoo or hide from him. But that mortification instantly melts away when Kyungsoo leans down and licks at his asshole.
His eyes fall shut, and unknowingly, his ass sticks up for more. Unfortunately, it doesn't last very long, but the stimulation on his hole doesn't stop. Not even a minute later, Jongin feels a wet finger circling his entrance.
"Do you even know what you're doing?" Jongin asks, even though it's unnecessary; from what he can tell, yes, Kyungsoo knows very well what he is doing.
"Yeah. I've done this before, so just relax," Kyungsoo replies, inserting the tip of his finger inside.
Jongin tries to breathe through the discomfort, knowing that Kyungsoo's fingers are nothing compared to his cock. And that if he wants Kyungsoo to fuck him, he's gonna have to be patient as his best friend works him open.
"You are so tight," Kyungsoo says, managing to get every inch of his finger deep inside Jongin. He carefully begins to pull out and then pushes back in.
It's only slight pressure, but as gentle as Kyungsoo tries to be, it is still too much for Jongin. He clenches hard around Kyungsoo, who has no other choice but to stop his movements.
"Are you okay, Jongin?" Kyungsoo asks, trying to look at his face, but Jongin keeps it pressed against the pillow.
"Yup," he replies through clenched teeth.
Though Kyungsoo can't see his face, he can hear the pain in Jongin's voice. Slowly, he pulls his finger out of him completely. "Lie on your back. Maybe that will be more comfortable for you."
He makes sure to put a pillow under Jongin's ass and have him resting his back against the headboard. The position is indeed better. But this way, Jongin gets to look at Kyungsoo's face while he is fingering him. And that makes his hole throb for a whole different reason.
He sees when Kyungsoo drops a decent amount of lube on his entrance, just before Kyungsoo's finger disappears inside of him again. Taking his time, Kyungsoo rubs the tip of his pointer against Jongin's walls, moving it in and out at the same time.
Jongin lets out a low moan as the pleasure intensifies. He is beginning to understand why the guy on that porn video seemed to like it so much. And then, all of a sudden, his body trembles. His mouth opens wide in a choked gasp, and he grips the sheets underneath him, needing something to hold on to. His eyebrows furrowed together, and when he looked at Kyungsoo, the other smirks, pressing insistently on the same spot.
He collapses on the bed when Kyungsoo lets go, upset about not reaching his climax as Kyungsoo pulls his finger out. Though it doesn't take long until Kyungsoo is thrusting inside of him again, this time adding another digit.
It feels like forever to Jongin because, by the time Kyungsoo slides a fourth finger in, he can't take it anymore. It's frustrating how good it makes him feel, considering that it is still not enough.
"Hyung," he mutters with a pleading look. The pleasure has taken over his brain in a way that he doesn't even know what he wants. Luckily for him, words aren't necessary for Kyungsoo to understand what he needs.
Swiftly, he takes his fingers out, coating his bare cock with lube. "Tell me if it hurts too much," he advises. Jongin nods his head, preparing himself.
And then, gently, Kyungsoo enters him. So gentle that the pain Jongin was expecting never comes. That makes him loosen up and allows Kyungsoo to easily bottom out.
He waits for Jongin to adjust to his size, both of them breathing heavily. His eyes scan Jongin's face, and it takes a lot to control himself. Jongin is so warm and wet, and even with how well he stretched him, he is still so tight. The desire is evident on his face, so much that Kyungsoo worries he might come just from watching Jongin.
What neither of them expected was for Jongin to come so soon. Just a couple of thrusts and he is spilling, untouched. He moans loudly, eyes closing. With the way Kyungsoo worked him up... it's no wonder that he didn't need much to come.
He just lies there in pure bliss, waiting for his body to calm down.
"Fuck, that was so good," he laughs.
"I can see that," Kyungsoo smiles above him. When Jongin opens his eyes again, Kyungsoo is lying beside him, cock still hard.
"You didn't come?"
"You didn't give me a chance, but it's okay. Let's just wait until you're ready to go again, and then I can fuck you."
Looking at Kyungsoo's cock, Jongin remembers why he wanted to have sex in the first place. He takes a deep breath, gathering the courage to say what he needs to say.
"You know... there's something I wanted to try." It's hard to fight the blush spreading across his face when Kyungsoo looks at him expectantly. But there's no going back now. "A, hm, blowjob?"
"You want to suck my cock?" Kyungsoo asks, without shame, making Jongin blush even harder.
"Yes, I've had it everywhere now except in my mouth. I want to see if that's good too."
"Well, I can't deny you that pleasure, can I?" Kyungsoo smirks.
With his thighs on each side of Jongin's head, Kyungsoo directs his cock into the other's mouth. Strong musk invades Jongin's senses, and strangely it turns him on.
Ever since Kyungsoo kissed him for the first time, Jongin has been learning things about himself that he never knew. And when Kyungsoo slowly pushes into his mouth, he finds out that he likes the feeling of his best friend's hard cock between his lips.
Because of Kyungsoo's size, Jongin can only take so much without gagging. He explores Kyungsoo's length with his tongue, receiving noises of approval from his friend, encouraging him to keep going.
Jongin sucks, tasting and moaning, and inevitably his hand travels down to his own cock. But as he brushes up against it, his legs involuntarily spread open, and suddenly Jongin feels the need to touch somewhere else. But the lube Kyungsoo poured into his hole has completely dried out. So all Jongin can do is circle around his entrance, wishing to feel Kyungsoo inside of him again.
Luckily for him, Kyungsoo can't take any more of the sloppy, lazy blowjob. He lets out a shaky breath when Jongin looks at him with teary eyes, controlling himself to not come down Jongin's throat.
Without any warning, he pulls out. And quickly presses the head of his wet cock against Jongin's hole. The muscles on his shoulder clench as Kyungsoo grabs Jongin's arms, pinning them down on the bed.
"No touching your little cock. You'll come when I come," Kyungsoo says, just as he pushes inside. He doesn't wait as he starts to vigorously thrust in and out.
And Jongin wouldn't have it any other way. He moans, thinking about the weeks that they wasted only jerking each other. When instead, they could've been doing all of this. Or even the years that they spent as nothing but friends. Living in the same place without taking any advantage of that. They were both so dumb.
When Jongin thought it couldn't get better, Kyungsoo leaned down, placing his mouth on Jongin's nipple. His eyes roll back with the way Kyungsoo sucks on his tit, unaware of how sensitive his nipples could be.
He trembles as Kyungsoo pounds him like Jongin was made to take his cock. Each thrust went a little deeper. And before they know it, Jongin is coming again.
This time it hits him harder, never having felt something so intense. It's so good that he can't control the way his hole clenches. And not even a minute later, he feels Kyungsoo cumming inside, filling him with his load.
When Kyungsoo pulls out, they are both spent. They lay side by side, chest heaving up and down.
"Hyung," Jongin breathes out. His hole throbs as cum leaks out of him, leaving a sticky mess down there. With all the strength he has left, Jongin raises his hand. "That deserves a high five."
"You two had sex?" Junmyeon screams, horrified over the phone.
Jongin had been sitting on his bed when he decided to call Junmyeon to ask him a question. Inevitably he had to tell him about what happened the day before. It's the first time he told anyone about having sex with Kyungsoo. Junmyeon only knew about their first kiss, but for some reason, Jongin didn't say anything about the other times.
"I don't get it," Junmyeon says after Jongin confirms. "You were both straight until last month. How did things escalate so fast?"
"Hey, we had sex once. That does not make us gay. It's just one bro helping out another bro."
Junmyeon scoffs. "Did you two at least wear a condom?"
"He didn't have any. But next time, we will. For sure!"
"Next time?" Junmyeon yells again.
Jongin shrugs even though his friend can't see him. "Yeah. I mean... it was good. Like really good. So yeah."
Junmyeon sighs. "You know what? Whatever. As long as you two know what you are doing, it's not my problem. Just try to make sure that this doesn't end badly. Because I refuse to pick between you two."
"Hyung, have some faith in us. Also, if something ever happens to our friendship, Kyungsoo would do the mature thing and let me have you since I've known you the longest."
"What makes you so sure that I would want to keep you?"
Jongin is speechless, and for a moment, there is only silence. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."
"Okay, so why did you call?"
Jongin lies back down on the bed, making himself comfortable. "Teach me how to douche," he says, and it's met with silence.
"Now I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear that."
"Hyung," Jongin whines. It's hard enough building up the courage to talk about this with Junmyeon; he really doesn't need to make this more difficult. "If you don't teach me, who will?"
"The internet, I don't know." Jongin can tell from Junmyeon's sigh that his friend is trying to control himself to not end the call and throw his phone out the window. "Look, you are 33 years old. I'm sure you can figure this out without me. I'm sorry, I have to get back to work now."
Jongin has been feeling sick all week. But it isn't until he wakes up hugging the toilet one morning that he realizes something is wrong. When Kyungsoo asked him why he was there, sleeping like that, Jongin couldn't give him an answer. But it only took a minute for everything to come back to him as he spilled his guts on the bowl.
Luckily, it's Friday, and Jongin, being the type of person who never leaves a project for the last minute, doesn't need to worry about work. So for today, he can just stay in his bed if he wants. The problem is that Kyungsoo's niece is supposed to come the next day.
Because their parents were out of town, his sister, Chaeyoung, asked him to babysit her daughter. So that she and her husband could go out and celebrate their wedding anniversary. His niece is two years old, and although neither one of them have any experience taking care of kids, it shouldn't be too hard; at least that's what Chaeyoung says. But now, with Jongin sick, Kyungsoo is worried that whatever Jongin has might be contagious, even if he feels fine.
So when his stomach calms down, Jongin dresses up and goes to the hospital, hoping to get a quick diagnosis and a prescription for something that will make him feel better. Instead, he leaves the hospital in shock, with a positive pregnancy test and a list of tips to relieve morning sickness that he got from one of the nurses.
Somehow he manages to go home, head too busy with thoughts to know what's left and right. When he opens the door to their apartment, Kyungsoo is sitting on the couch, just like when Jongin left. And with one look, he can tell that something is wrong.
Kyungsoo ushers Jongin inside, making him sit down, fearing that Jongin might collapse at any moment. He sits next to him, and every second that goes by without Jongin saying anything is torturous, but Kyungsoo waits until he's ready to talk. Oblivious to the fact that he isn't prepared to hear what Jongin has to say.
After taking a deep breath, Jongin breaks the silence, turning to look into Kyungsoo's eyes. "I'm pregnant," he says.
Kyungsoo's eyes double in size, not expecting that at all. He blinks, making sure that this is real and not a dream. "Weren't you on the pill?" he asks, frowning.
"I didn't know I was supposed to. I never had to worry about that before," Jongin yells, exasperated. "But it's okay. It's not the end of the world. I can have an abortion."
At that, Kyungsoo visibly relaxes, sighing relieved. "Oh shit, that's right. I didn't even remember that."
Seeing Kyungsoo's reaction takes a weight off Jongin's shoulder, and for the first time that day, he feels calm. They sit back on the couch.
"I can't believe that my first pregnancy scare is with my best friend," Kyungsoo laughs.
"I can't believe I'm pregnant," Jongin shakes his head, still shocked. "And we only did it once without a condom."
Smirking, Kyungsoo folds his hands behind his head. "Ah, good to know that when the time comes, once will be enough for my potent seed to take."
Jongin laughs. So hard that he ends up clutching his stomach. And when he calms down, the hand is still there. That's when he remembers that somewhere under his fingers, there is now a little thing patiently waiting to grow inside of him. And he can't help being sorry.
It's not that he doesn't want kids; he just never imagined it would happen like this. Never thought that he would be the one to get pregnant and above all by his best friend.
A part of Jongin always dreamed of starting a family with someone he was in love with, someone who loved him back. But looking at his best friend, Jongin knows that Kyungsoo is not that person. No offense to him, of course. He is an awesome guy, has a good job that he is passionate about, and is always there when Jongin needs him. But as much as Jongin likes kissing and having sex with Kyungsoo, that is just what it is. There's no denying that Jongin loves Kyungsoo. It's just not in a weird, romantic, and cheesy way. The love that Jongin feels towards him is just pure platonic love between two bros who enjoy each other's bodies. Nothing wrong with that.
"Hey, it wouldn't be so bad, would it?" Jongin asks.
"What do you mean?"
"Having this baby," Jongin mutters quietly.
"Of course not. It would be awesome," Kyungsoo smiles. "And you know the best part? Our kid would be cute as hell." For some reason, hearing Kyungsoo say that makes Jongin feel giddy inside, and he lets himself dream.
He wonders what the baby would look like, which one of them would it take after the most. And the more he thinks about it, the more he wants this.
Truthfully, they could afford to have this baby, and because they both have flexible jobs, they could give their kid the attention and care it needs.
"Hey, Kyungsoo," Jongin starts then interrupts himself. He sees the easy smile on his friend's face. And remembers how Kyungsoo was relieved just moments before when Jongin said he wanted an abortion.
Yeah, having this baby would be awesome. But it's not what Kyungsoo wants. And it's probably not what Jongin wants either. He just let himself get caught in the heat of the moment.
A decision important as that can't be made so suddenly. A child is a lifelong commitment. One can't just wake up two years from now and decide they don't want to be a parent anymore because things are hard. Whatever Jongin decides to do, he needs to think hard about this. Even if Kyungsoo doesn't want this baby, in the end, what matters is what Jongin wants.
"Nevermind," he says after a while. "I think I'm gonna try to rest. This week has been awful."
As soon as Jongin gets up the next morning, he's aware of the urge to throw up. He runs to the bathroom as fast as he can. And as he's spilling his guts into the toilet, he curses himself as well as Kyungsoo for being stupid enough to have sex without a condom.
He has no idea what time it is, but if his nostrils aren't playing a trick on him, he can smell food coming from the kitchen. This means Kyungsoo is up too, so it can't be too early in the morning. By the time Jongin steps out of the bathroom, his stomach is growling at the smell. So instead of going back to bed, he goes to the kitchen.
He gets there just in time to stop Sooyoung from opening the cupboard under the sink where the cleaning products are. Kyungsoo, who had his back turned to his niece, hadn't seen it.
"Hey, did you lose something in there?" Jongin scolds her, taking her little hands away from the handle. She looks back at him with her big eyes wide open, and Jongin can't resist picking her up when she reaches her arms up.
After much thought yesterday, Jongin decided to see how the weekend with Kyungsoo's niece would go before choosing what to do about his own baby. Deep down, he wants to keep it. But he has no experience with children; he doesn't have younger siblings or nephews like Kyungsoo. This is the perfect opportunity for him to see what taking care of a baby is like.
"Are you alright?" Kyungsoo asks, offering him a glass of water that he gladly accepts. He drinks everything in one go, turning his head away from the curious 2-year-old who tries to reach for it.
Meanwhile, Kyungsoo goes over to the stove, opens the lid of a plastic container, and throws what looks like kimchi fried rice into a pan. The smell makes Jongin salivate. He sits down with Sooyoung, watching as Kyungsoo opens another food container, this time taking out a fish, which he coats with flour before putting on a frying pan.
"Where did that come from?" Jongin asks, curious. Neither of them can cook. They are always ordering meals or buying instant packages from the convenience store nearby. But the food Kyungsoo is heating is homemade.
Kyungsoo nods his head towards little Sooyoung sitting in Jongin's lap. "Her parents. I waited for them to leave and attacked their fridge. It's not like they were going to eat any time soon anyway," he shrugs.
"When are they coming back?"
"Ah, yes, well. You did your sister a favor. It would have gone bad by then," Jongin agrees, setting Sooyoung down on the floor as Kyungsoo proceeds to bring the food over to the table. He waits until Kyungsoo is done and sits across from him to start eating. "Christ, I'm so hungry. I will eat well."
The first spoonful of the fried rice tastes like heaven. Jongin's eyes close as he savors the delicious taste inside his mouth. It's so simple, but he can't remember the last time he ate something so good.
"Fuck, Chaeyoung is such a good cooker," Jongin says with his mouth full. He looks down when he sees two little hands resting on his thigh. Sooyoung stares at him expectantly, big puppy eyes silently asking for some of what he is eating.
"Don't give her food," Kyungsoo stops him, quickly glancing at his niece. "She already had a bottle."
"Sorry, Soo. Your uncle said no." She can't understand, but Jongin still feels the need to explain that the bad guy here is Kyungsoo and not him. She stays there for a moment until Kyungsoo reaches behind himself, grabbing a spatula from the top cabinet drawer and giving her to play with.
They continue to eat in silence, with Sooyoung sitting on the floor. But peace doesn't last very long for Jongin. He's not even close to being done with his meal when the discomfort in his stomach starts again. He tries to breathe and stay calm as he sets his spoon down. But it doesn't work, and the feeling doesn't go away. With no other choice, Jongin groans, hurriedly getting up from the chair before running to the bathroom, startling Kyungsoo and Sooyoung in the process.
The TV is on, playing a movie that Jongin chooses to ignore in favor of watching Sooyoung run from one side to the other, messing with everything she can find. Kyungsoo left some of her toys on the floor. But she only played with them for a little bit, finding the books that Kyungsoo forgot on the coffee table far more interesting. Jongin lies on the couch, hugging her seal plushie as they wait for her uncle to come back.
Kyungsoo left not long ago to buy some fruits and a sandwich for Jongin to eat. After puking his breakfast, Jongin couldn't manage to eat the rest or even get anywhere near the kitchen. The smell of the food that had previously lured him into the kitchen had suddenly become his kryptonite. Luckily they had some saltines left inside the cabinet. But to no one's surprise, crackers and water weren't enough to satisfy him. So feeling too weak to go out, Jongin sent Kyungsoo to the market in his place. He was going to take Sooyoung with him. But Jongin, wanting to become familiar with looking after a baby, insisted that he was well enough to stay with her.
Being alone with Sooyoung is not as scary as he thought it would be. She's somewhat easy to take care of. So far, she hasn't cried or yelled. During lunch, she ate without protest. And if Jongin has to call out her name to stop her from trying to climb the armchair next to the window, she does.
She is calm, just like Kyungsoo. And Jongin wonders if that's something that runs in the family. If so, then there's a chance that his baby will be the same.
Jongin is pulled out of his thoughts when he feels Sooyoung tugging at the plushie seal in his arms. He gives it to her and watches as she tucks it under her arm, then attempts to climb on the couch with him. He picks her up, helping her lie down on his chest.
Sooyoung's little face is so close to him that Jongin just gets lost, observing the way her eyes immediately slip close. He brings a hand to her back, gently brushing it up and down as he softly sings a song, making up the lyrics as he goes.
Soon, his own eyes begin to close as well, and he doesn't try to stop it. For the first time today, he feels fine.
Jongin startles awake sometime later when a bright light shines above him. Blinking his eyes open, he sees Kyungsoo standing next to him with his camera in his hands. On Jongin's chest, Sooyoung continues to sleep, drooling all over his shirt.
"You two looked cute. I couldn't resist," Kyungsoo explains when Jongin frowns at him. Jongin yawns in return, rubbing his tired eyes.
Without any warning, Kyungsoo takes Sooyoung off of him. And as instinct, Jongin tries to hold on to her until he sees that it's just Kyungsoo. He lets her go, shivering slightly without her warmth.
Holding her gently, Kyungsoo goes over to his room to lay her down on the makeshift mattress he had prepared earlier for her. When he comes back, Jongin is still in the same spot.
"Wake up. I bought chicken noodle soup for you. Eat it while it's still warm."
Jongin groans, but at the mention of food, he quickly gets up. It's then that he sees Junmyeon coming out of the bathroom.
"What are you doing here?" he asks, not knowing Junmyeon was there at all.
"We ran into each other on the market," Kyungsoo replies for him.
"He told me you were sick, so I came to see you. Also, I had to pee."
Worried, Jongin throws a look in Kyungsoo's direction, silently asking if he said anything about him being pregnant to Junmyeon. But Kyungsoo is busy picking up Sooyoung's toys to notice. Luckily Junmyeon isn't screaming at them for being irresponsible, so it must mean he doesn't know.
Jongin needs to figure out what he is going to do before he starts telling anyone. What would be the point of saying anything if he decides to get an abortion after all?
"Well, I feel better already with you here, hyung," Jongin says. On the way to the kitchen, he grabs Junmyeon's hand, dragging his friend with him. "Are you gonna stay and take care of me?" he pouts, only half-joking. Not being able to eat or sleep has left him feeling very moody. If this sickness doesn't stop any time soon, he will need some cuddles to feel better.
"I can't," Junmyeon tells him, sitting across from Jongin on the table. "Yixing and I are going to a club. And I wouldn't stay even if I could. You are such a big baby when you're sick."
Jongin glares at Junmyeon, pouting even as he blows the soup.
"I was going to invite you. I know how much you like to dance," Junmyeon continues, ignoring Jongin's scowl. "And I was also thinking we could help you find a guy to hook up with since you're gay now."
"I'm not gay. I only have sex with Kyungsoo."
Junmyeon's eyebrows raise, an amused grin spreading on his lips. "So you are saying that you and Kyungsoo are exclusive."
"What? No! We are not- It's not gay." Jongin feels his face heating up, and the soup is not to blame.
"Hey, I'm not judging. Better late than never." Junmyeon raises his hands in fake surrender.
"Hyung," Jongin whines, not bothering to eat the soup anymore. He pouts, but Junmyeon continues to laugh at him.
"Anyway, I should go. Kiss Sooyoung for me when she wakes up."
After Junmyeon leaves, Kyungsoo joins him in the kitchen, smiling at Jongin's flushed face.
"What are you laughing about? If I'm gay, then you're gay too."
"And what's wrong with that?" Kyungsoo asks, but Jongin doesn't give him an answer. He gets up, taking the bowl with him, and goes to his room to eat in peace.
As if by some kind of miracle, Jongin wakes up the next day feeling more like himself. For once, he doesn't go rushing to the bathroom as soon as he gets up. Or even after breakfast. He manages to eat more than he has for the past week and ends up crashing on the couch because of it, too full to do anything.
He is followed by a curious baby and sometime after by her uncle. They all settle in the living room, watching a show that Jongin has never heard of, but one that Sooyoung seems to like. She's sitting on Kyungsoo's lap, but her little legs are flung to Jongin's side. He absently plays with her feet, cooing at how small they are against his palm.
Feeling drowsy, Jongin lowers his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder. His friend is warm next to him, and something about his scent makes Jongin get comfortable. Something flutters inside his stomach, but he dismisses it as indigestion.
For some reason, he gets the urge to look up at Kyungsoo's face, and when he does, he finds his friend looking fondly at Sooyoung, a little smile on his lips. Just like that, the fluttering feeling intensifies. He still hasn't told Kyungsoo that he wants to have the baby. Even if he already made up his mind, he's afraid that this is not what Kyungsoo wants. As much as that wouldn't change how Jongin feels, there's no way of knowing what that rejection would do to their friendship.
It's silly, and he doesn't know where this fear is coming from. He knows better; he knows Kyungsoo. Jongin is sure that if it was someone else pregnant with Kyungsoo's baby, his friend would do the right thing. So why would it be any different with the one who loves him the most?
And maybe, just maybe, having Sooyoung here warmed up Kyungsoo's heart as it has with Jongin. It would explain the tenderness with which he watches Sooyoung.
But before he can muster up the courage to say anything, Jongin sees Kyungsoo's expression turn sour. He doesn't even get the chance to wonder what happened, quickly understanding when his nose, unfortunately, picks up the strong smell emerging from Sooyoung.
He wrinkles his nose, looking down at Sooyoung before meeting Kyungsoo's gaze.
"Ah, Soosoo... couldn't you wait until your mother got here to poop again?" Kyungsoo complains, pouting, which he rarely does.
Startled by how awful the smell is, Jongin hurriedly gets up, trying to get away from it before he stops. "It's okay, it's okay," he tells himself. This whole weekend was about gaining experience from taking care of Sooyoung. Once his baby is born, there will be a lot of diapers to change. There's no point in running away now. Determined, he follows Kyungsoo to his room.
Despite both of them being repulsed by the stench, unlike Jongin, Kyungsoo is relatively calm about what he is doing. His hands are steady as he unbuckles her onesie and unfastens the dirty diaper's tabs.
Jongin tries really hard to remain okay as well. But when Kyungsoo opens the diaper, he can't help but gag. The disgusting smell intensifies, and it's worse than anything Jongin has ever had the displeasure of smelling. He holds his breath, but it's in vain. It does nothing to help with the sudden nausea. And soon, he is running to the bathroom.
So much for a morning sickness-free day.
It's barely past six in the afternoon when Sooyoung's parents come by to pick her up. It's sooner than Jongin expected. But then when Kyungsoo opens the door, he sees little Soo running to her mommy. And suddenly, he gets why they are so early. Chaeyoung bends down to hug her daughter, smiling like her baby is the most precious thing in the world. Seeing Sooyoung so radiant in her mother's arms makes Jongin feel just a little jealous. He knows that one day he'll understand that love better than anyone.
"Sooyoung," Jongin tries calling the baby's attention, pouting when she doesn't acknowledge him. "I thought our bond was real, but I see now that it was all a lie." He pretends to be hurt, making Chanyeol burst out laughing.
"Do you hear that, Soo? I think your uncle Jongin wants you to stay here," Chaeyoung laughs. "But what can we do? Mommy can't live without you, can I?" She kisses Sooyoung, who giggles.
"You're acting like she's been here for a year. It's only been two days." Kyungsoo comes back from the kitchen, handing Chanyeol a bag with the containers he brought from their home. Chanyeol looks at it, confused but doesn't say anything.
"You'll understand when you have your own kids."
Kyungsoo shakes his head. "No, thank you. After this weekend, I'm not sure I'll ever want to have kids."
When Jongin looks at him, Kyungsoo's eyebrows are drawn together in a stern scowl. He is looking directly at Sooyoung as if scolding her. But Jongin knows he is just joking when he says that; he has to be. Because the weekend was not as hard as he is making it to be.
What Jongin can't understand is why Kyungsoo would say that, knowing that Jongin is right there. Maybe it's because he thinks Jongin still wants to abort. Or perhaps, it's not a joke at all. Maybe while this weekend served to make Jongin sure that he wants this baby, to Kyungsoo, it made him realize that he doesn't.
He tries to force his mind to stop thinking about this. He knows he is being dramatic, but he can't help getting upset.
"I was surprised when Chanyeol said that you agreed to go away for two whole days. But now I know why," Kyungsoo adds.
"I didn't go because I wanted to get away from Sooyoung," Chaeyoung denies. She turns to Chanyeol, caressing his face with a hand. "It just happened that there was another baby that needed my attention." Chanyeol blushes.
"Ew, not in front of Soosoo," Kyungsoo yells, horrified. He moves to take Sooyoung from her mother, who lets her go but not without protests from the baby.
"Why are you so cranky? Maybe you need to get laid too," Chaeyoung says, hugging her husband.
"Nah, babe, I'm sure Kyungsoo is doing fine in that department. He barely plays with me anymore. I think he has someone."
From the couch, Jongin swallows, blushing despite himself. As far as Jongin knows, Junmyeon and Yixing are the only ones who know about Kyungsoo and Jongin having sex. He doesn't think Chanyeol and Chaeyoung would ever suspect that he is the one sleeping with Kyungsoo. But still, he looks away from them, hoping they won't notice anything wrong with him.
"Who is it?" Chaeyoung asks eagerly.
"No one." Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. "I just don't want to play with you because you suck."
Chanyeol and Chaeyoung share a knowing look. "Okay then, since you aren't in a relationship, do you want me to introduce you to someone?" Chanyeol teases.
For some reason, Jongin holds his breath.
"No, thank you," Kyungsoo replies. Jongin exhales. "I'm satisfied with what I have right now."
"Which is probably just your hand." Chaeyoung shakes her head. "Let's go, Chanyeol."
Jongin tells them goodbye, and while they are distracted, making sure they got all of Sooyoung's things, he goes over to his room. He drops down on the bed, suddenly feeling so tired. Tomorrow there's work to do, but right now, he needs to start thinking of a way to tell Kyungsoo about his decision to keep the baby.
While trying to build up the courage to talk to Kyungsoo, Jongin spends the next few days emerging himself into work. Or at least pretending to. On Monday, he decided that the best way to avoid Kyungsoo was to focus on his job. But for once, the clients have been easy to deal with, and the projects easy to complete.
It was a good thing since he started to feel sick again; it allowed him to rest. But it also gave him plenty of time to chat with Kyungsoo. And he was running away from that.
On Friday afternoon, however, his strategy to avoid Kyungsoo fails.
He was chilling in the living room watching TV when he heard movement outside the front door. In the blink of an eye, he turns off the TV and runs to his room. Just as he is turning on his laptop, he hears Kyungsoo knock on the door before he opens it.
"Busy?" Kyungsoo asks.
"Very," Jongin replies, still panting.
"Ah, that's a shame. I bought some fried chicken," Kyungsoo says, showing it to Jongin. He smiles and takes the package out of the bag, making Jongin salivate at the smell that fills the air when he opens the lid. There's no point in even trying to resist.
"Oh, would you look at that? I'm suddenly free," Jongin laughs sheepishly, closing the laptop.
Jongin knows that Kyungsoo is doing it on purpose, luring him with chicken. And he's proven right when they both sit down on the couch, and Kyungsoo focuses his attention solely on Jongin, not even bothering to eat the chicken as well. Although Jongin expects to get scolded for trying to ignore Kyungsoo's attempts to talk to him, that never comes.
"Is it good?" Big eyes stare at Jongin as he takes the first bite, and he can't help but flush under the attention. The fried chicken is from the same place they always buy, so he doesn't understand why Kyungsoo needs to ask that.
"Yeah," he replies, anyway.
Kyungsoo gives him a quick smile, nodding his head. "I'm glad." He then looks at his hands, almost nervously as if trying to find the right words. Eventually, he sighs. "Listen, I don't want to upset you, but you know... it's been a week since you found out you're pregnant, and I don't know if you looked up any abortion clinic yet."
Jongin stops chewing. He knows that Kyungsoo doesn't want kids, but he didn't think his friend would rush him to get this over with. And he didn't expect it to hurt.
"Actually, I decided to keep it," he rushes out the words before the knot in his throat gets too tight. He quickly gets up, intending to go to his room, but before he can even take a step, a hand grabs his arm, stopping him from going anywhere.
"What?" He tries to look at Jongin, but feeling the tears gathering in his eyes, Jongin turns away. "Jongin," Kyungsoo says, insisting for his friend to face him until he succeeds. That's when Jongin falls apart. Worried, Kyungsoo immediately wraps his arms around him, rubbing his back up and down. "Jongin, calm down. Why are you crying?"
They stay like that until Jongin's tears cease, and his sobbing is reduced to soft sniffles.
Jongin really wants this baby. He's gotten over the initial shock, how weird it felt to know that he was pregnant. And now he is a hundred percent sure he wants this. But can he do it without Kyungsoo? He will probably have to move out and take care of the baby alone. As much as he tries to tell himself that it's okay if Kyungsoo doesn't want this, Jongin knows he would resent his friend and that eventually, their friendship would die. He doesn't want that; he doesn't want to lose Kyungsoo. But he knows he can't have both. And it hurts that he knows he'll have to choose.
"I didn't think this is how our friendship would end," he mumbles. His heart squeezes a little bit tighter in his chest when he hears Kyungsoo chuckle in return.
"What are you talking about?"
Taking a deep breath, Jongin releases Kyungsoo. "I don't want an abortion. I want to have this baby," he says clearly so that his friend will understand.
"Okay," Kyungsoo nods. "What does that have to do with our friendship?" he asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I know you don't want kids."
"When did I say that?"
"Last Sunday. When Chaeyoung was here." Frustration builds up in Jongin's chest at Kyungsoo playing dumb.
"It was just a joke."
"It wasn't funny. And you also looked very relieved when I first said I was going to abort," Jongin remembers. He scowls at Kyungsoo, making his friend sigh.
"It was a shock at first. But that doesn't mean I don't want kids. You said you wanted an abortion, so I didn't say anything. I thought it was what you wanted, and I had to respect that."
At that, Jongin's scowl relaxes. Frustration and sadness slip out of him like the sky opening up after a big storm, giving space to hope. "For real?"
"Yeah," Kyungsoo assures him softly. He gives him a sweet smile and then places his hand on top of Jongin's belly. "Jongin, do you want to have this baby?" he asks, just to make sure.
"I do," Jongin whispers, once and for all.
Kyungsoo's smile gets bigger. "Then I guess you can start calling me daddy now." He laughs at Jongin's deadpan expression.
"I can't believe this. I was just crying, worried..." Jongin complains, grabbing Kyungsoo's throat with both hands. He shakes him, but all Kyungsoo does is laugh. "I want the tears I spilled back. You don't deserve them.
That same day, Kyungsoo goes online and schedules an appointment with an OBGYN. He also scolds Jongin for waiting so long to do that himself.
On Monday, he accompanies Jongin to his first prenatal visit, even though Jongin insists that he can go alone. Most of the pregnant people he meets there are farther along than he is, and only one other person has their partner with them. Jongin is asked to remove his clothes and wear a hospital gown; he is examined thoroughly and questioned about his sex life, plus his medical history. But still, none of those things makes him more flustered than the way Kyungsoo looks at him when they get to hear the baby's heartbeat. There's a silly smile on his face, like that is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. And it's so stupid how it leaves Jongin with teary eyes. He is filled with many emotions that he can't name, but they all feel like happiness.
But happiness sometimes is a weird thing, and it makes you do crazy things. Like driving to your parents' house to tell them you're pregnant, with no plans, no warning, nothing but a picture of your sonogram.
Kyungsoo and Jongin agreed that they would tell their parents before anyone else. But Kyungsoo's are still out of town, so they'll have to wait for them to come back. Jongin's, on the other hand, are at home. Or at least he hopes so as he knocks on their door.
A thousand things go through his mind in the minute that it takes for someone to answer the door. He worries about what to say, how to explain this. And considers that maybe they should've thought this through before coming here. But just as he grabs Kyungsoo's, to run out of there with him, his mother opens the door.
She looks at them, surprised, and then smiles. But before she can even say hello, Jongin's mouth moves on its own, and he blurs out, "I'm pregnant." His mother's smile slowly fades, turning into a confused frown.
They hear the sound of footsteps coming from inside, and soon after, Jongin's father is there as well. "You're what now?" He's just shocked more than anything. But mistakenly, Kyungsoo misinterprets the tone of his voice.
Panic quickly takes over his body, and in the blink of an eye, Kyungsoo drops to the floor, bent over in a deep bow. "I'm sorry," he apologizes.
Jongin's mother shakes her head as if to push aside all the questions she has for now. Immediately, she urges Kyungsoo to get up. "Let's go inside before the neighbors start to talk."
They sit in silence at the dinner table, watching as Jongin's mother opens and closes her mouth, thinking about what to say, until she sighs. "You're pregnant?" she asks carefully. Jongin confirms with a nod. "And... you are the father, Kyungsoo?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing to us? You are adults. If having a baby is what you both want, that's up to you. I'm just surprised because I didn't know you two were in a relationship," Jongin's father speaks.
Jongin quickly shakes his head, denying. "We are not. We are just friends."
"How did this happen then?" his father questions.
Jongin opens his mouth to answer, but before he can say anything awkward, Kyungsoo lays a hand on his thigh under the table to stop him. "It's a long story," Kyungsoo says.
"Okay, well, are you happy?" Jongin's mother asks her son, who nods his head, unable to speak as tears start to gather in his eyes. At that, his mother gets up from her seat, a smile spreading on her face, her eyes matching Jongin's teary ones. "Then I'm happy too. My first grandchild." She hugs him and rubs his back when Jongin finally lets out the tears he held back the whole day.
Jongin's eyes are heavy as he shuts down his laptop after working all day. He yawns, stretching his body. His back arches in a delicious way, momentarily getting rid of the pain that has been bothering him lately. He's only 7 weeks pregnant, so there's still more of this to come.
As he steps into the kitchen to drink some water, he sees Kyungsoo placing a few food containers on the table.
"When did you get here? I didn't hear you coming in," Jongin says, mouth-watering at the smell of fresh food. Kyungsoo didn't have any work today, so he went early to his parents' house; his mother needed help with something.
"And what do you have there?"
"Mom made it for you. She said you need to start eating better."
By now, everyone knows about Jongin's pregnancy. Junmyeon and Yixing actually had a bet that something like this would happen, so of course, Junmyeon was happy to hear that he was right. Kyungsoo's mother was thrilled because she had assumed she wouldn't live enough to see her son getting married and having kids. She tried to convince Jongin and Kyungsoo that they needed to get married, but they quickly rejected that idea.
For years she tried to set up dates for Kyungsoo; Dates that Kyungsoo rarely would go to, simply because he didn't want his parents taking control of his life.
As Kyungsoo turns to grab a bowl from the cupboard, Jongin notices a piece of paper sticking out of one of the plastic bags he brought.
"Who is Jongdae?" he asks curiously, staring at the phone number written on the paper.
Kyungsoo stares back at him, big eyes focusing on the paper as if he didn't know it was there. "Oh, he's the son of someone mom knows. She's convinced that the reason why I never went out with the women she wanted me to date is because I'm gay. So now she's trying to set me up with men."
"Are you going to?" Jongin waves the piece of paper. "On a date with him?"
"Of course not," Kyungsoo deadpans. "You know I don't like guys, and even if I did, I wouldn't go out with someone my mom wants me to."
Jongin hums. "Is that why you don't want to marry me? Because it's what your mom wants?"
Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows, incredulous. "You're the one who said it was a crazy idea."
"Because it is. I don't want you to marry me just because I'm pregnant," Jongin pouts, sitting down on the chair as he tosses the piece of paper aside.
“Well, would you marry me if you weren’t pregnant?”
“I- Why do you want to know? Would you marry me?”
“I asked first.”
Jongin breathes out, outraged. “You know what? No, I wouldn’t marry you. Just bring me the food,” he yells, determined to finish this discussion here. He doesn’t even know how it started, why he got so upset.
Kyungsoo sighs. He doesn't say anything else, setting the food for Jongin to eat. It's still warm, so there's no need to heat up.
Jongin eats silently, enjoying how good it is the taste of the home-cooked meal. There's plenty of food to last for a few days, so he chooses to eat the pumpkin porridge and a handful of the roasted chicken feet for now.
Despite the food tasting delicious, Jongin can't help but notice that it doesn't quite taste like Ms. Do's. He has eaten her food many times, to the point where he has become familiar with it as if it was his own mother's. Kyungsoo and her both enjoy spicy food. But these chicken feet aren't spicy at all. It makes Jongin wonder why. If it was even her who actually cooked this.
The sun is still not out when Jongin wakes up. He's not one to toss and turn in his sleep, but with the back pains he's been having, it's hard to find a good position to sleep. He had just turned on his belly when a sudden ache in his chest made him sit up.
As he touches his breasts, he feels how swollen it is, how sensitive his nipples are. On his first prenatal appointment, the doctor told him that his boobs would start to grow soon; that it was a painful but necessary process.
9 weeks into his pregnancy, Jongin is beginning to understand just how much 'pain' there is in creating a new life.
A few days ago, Chaeyoung dropped by to give Jongin some of the pregnancy and parenting books she read while pregnant. There were about six books, five of which are piled on the coffee table in front of Jongin while he reads the last one. He is so immersed in the book that he doesn't realize that Kyungsoo is home until his friend is closing the door.
"You're still up? You need to rest, Jongin."
At that, Jongin checks the hour on his phone. It's past midnight. "Oh, I didn't know it was so late." He then yawns. "Where were you?"
"Out. Sorry, I wanted to drink after work but didn't want to do it in front of you," Kyungsoo apologizes, toeing off his shoes. As he walks closer to the couch, Jongin can smell the beer Kyungsoo likely had.
"I don't mind if you drink here. I can control myself."
Kyungsoo hums. There's an easy smile on his face and a flush on his cheeks; he's not totally drunk, just tipsy. Without warning, he bends down and kisses Jongin.
Jongin can taste the alcohol in Kyungsoo's lips, and although the strong smell of beer is repulsive this close, he can't help but want more. Suddenly he's painfully reminded that they haven't had sex since before Jongin found out he was pregnant. It has been far too long.
"You know... you don't have to worry about getting pregnant again, so we can just skip using a condom, and I can come inside you."
It's embarrassing the way Jongin's hole clenches instinctively at the mention of being filled with Kyungsoo's cum. He considers saying no when he sees his friend smirking as if he knows what his words are doing to Jongin's body. But the need for Kyungsoo is too strong.
"Okay. Fuck me," Jongin whispers.
With bated breath, he waits as Kyungsoo goes to his bedroom and returns with the lube bottle. He takes off his sweatpants and underwear and immediately sits down on Kyungsoo's lap.
"Is this okay?" Kyungsoo asks, carefully opening Jongin with slicked fingers.
"Yeah, it's safe, don't worry," Jongin reassures him.
Kyungsoo takes his time kissing Jongin's lips and caressing his body, watching Jongin fall apart as he buries his fingers deep inside him. Jongin moans in his ear, grinding his hips down on Kyungsoo's fingers, hungry for more.
After so many weeks of nothing, just having Kyungsoo likes this feels too much. But before he can come just like that, Kyungsoo takes his fingers out. He breathes, suddenly feeling too hot with the oversized long sleeve shirt he is wearing.
"Why are you still wearing a shirt?" Kyungsoo asks when he sees Jongin fidgeting with the hem of the shirt.
"Because I want to."
"Why? Are you starting to show?" Kyungsoo asks, placing a hand on Jongin's lower abdomen.
Jongin bats Kyungsoo's hand away. "Of course not, I'm only 11 weeks."
"Why then?" Kyungsoo insists, curious.
Jongin bites down on his bottom lip. A week ago, he ordered a simple bra online. His boobs were starting to become apparent through his shirts, and he didn't want Kyungsoo to find out about it.
"My pregnancy boobs are growing," Jongin tells him after a moment of hesitation.
Kyungsoo's eyes grow wide in surprise. He blinks, dropping his gaze to Jongin's chest. "Can I see?"
"No," Jongin squeals, embarrassed. He blocks the front of the shirt with his arms, even though he's sure Kyungsoo can't see it.
"Can I touch it then? Under the shirt?"
"No, why would you want to?"
"I like boobs."
Jongin sighs. "Fine. But only a little bit, and be careful, they are tender."
Gently, Jongin lifts his bra under the shirt. His nipples are hard with arousal, so much that even the slightest contact with the fabric of the shirt makes him shiver. Watching Kyungsoo's face closely, he guides his friend's hand to his chest and lightly rests it against his right boob. The touch is barely there, but it makes Jongin gasp, unsure if it is from pain or pleasure.
"It's so warm," Kyungsoo mumbles. His hand is massive against Jongin's tiny boob. He wonders how much it will grow; probably not much, just enough to get nice, round, and squishy. He licks his lips, feeling the firm nub against his palm, and feels his cock twitch under Jongin's ass. He wants to squeeze and suck, but he knows he can't; it would hurt Jongin.
He pulls his hand away and grabs Jongin's waist instead, helping him lift his bottom just enough to sink on Kyungsoo's cock. Jongin doesn't have time to pull down the bra to cover his boob again as Kyungsoo starts to thrust up into him. And after that, he doesn't care to. He just focuses on reaching his orgasm.
Neither of them last long, heavily panting as they come down from their high. They stay like that for a few minutes until Kyungsoo suggests that they take a shower. Jongin is getting drowsy on top of him after climaxing, and Kyungsoo is feeling tired himself.
"Come on, I'll help you."
They manage to get up and stumble their way to the bathroom, but as soon as they enter and Kyungsoo goes to help Jongin take the shirt off, Jongin moves away.
"I don't want you to see my chest."
"It's embarrassing." He pouts.
Kyungsoo sighs, moving closer to Jongin again. "It's not embarrassing, Jongin. It's natural." Jongin is shy and, despite his good looks, not always confident. That's why Kyungsoo makes sure to stare him in the eyes so that his friend knows he's been sincere, that he doesn't have any reason to be ashamed. Not with him.
"It's also hot," Kyungsoo adds, making Jongin blush. He rolls his eyes but raises his arms, so Kyungsoo takes that as an okay. Soon the shirt is off, and Kyungsoo is left staring at the bra covering Jongin's chest. He then undoes the clasps in the back, slipping the straps off Jongin's shoulders, and finally, Jongin stands completely naked in front of him.
It's been over a month since Kyungsoo last saw Jongin like this, but the difference is remarkable. He tries hard not to look as he guides Jongin to the shower, not wanting him to feel self-conscious. And ends up staring at Jongin's eyes a little too intense, leaving his friend uneasy either way.
There has been nothing but silence since Kyungsoo undressed him. And a part of Jongin worries that his friend is not saying anything and avoiding looking at his chest because he thinks Jongin's pregnancy boobs are gross.
But then, unable to control himself any longer, Kyungsoo bends down, pressing his lips in the center of Jongin's chest. The atmosphere between them changes; it becomes less hesitant, the air heavier. They kiss, slowly and deeply. Kyungsoo rests his hands on Jongin's waist, unbothered by the water falling free on Jongin's back.
Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's shoulders and pulls him closer. The slight pressure of Kyungsoo's chest against his perky nipples makes Jongin groan, and at the sound, Kyungsoo's cock throbs where it hangs soft between their bodies. He wants to pin Jongin against the cool tiles and fuck him right there. But he knows neither of them has the energy to keep themselves from collapsing on the floor. So they just kiss, and between kisses, Kyungsoo blindly reaches for the soap and begins washing Jongin's body.
It takes longer than Kyungsoo intended, but eventually, they make their way to his bedroom. Ever since they started having sex, they have never slept in the same bed, much less in each other's arms, but something about tonight seems different. When Kyungsoo leads him to his bed, Jongin simply goes. He's too tired to wonder why and make excuses; it's just comfortable, and he likes it there.
"Remember when we first met, how I kept asking to take pictures of you, and you would always say no?" Kyungsoo mumbles in the dark. "Back then, I thought you were so beautiful. Nothing weird, you know? I just liked photographing pretty things, and you were one of them. You're still beautiful to this day, maybe even more so now." He presses his hand to Jongin's belly, caressing the skin with his thumb. "So don't be ashamed of the changes that pregnancy will do to your body. You will always look flawless to me."
"Why are you saying that?" Jongin asks softly, heart skipping a beat.
"I just wanted you to know."
Kyungsoo shakes his head at Jongin's suggestion. "Absolutely not. That's the name of that girl I dated in college."
"Which one? You dated a lot of people in college."
Jongin tilts his head. He tries to remember, but nothing comes to mind. "Oh, I don't think I remember her. Okay then, Jungeun."
Kyungsoo deadpans. "Are you kidding me? That's the name of the girl she cheated me with."
Jongin stares at Kyungsoo, eyes wide and mouth agape and suddenly remembers. He looks back at the book in his lap and clears his throat, eyes skimming over the page, looking for another name.
"Okie, how about Haseul? The wise child who came down from the sky."
"Kim Haseul. Do Haseul," Kyungsoo repeats out loud, testing the name. "I like the meaning, but I don't like how it sounds with either of our last names."
"Hyunjin?" Jongin tries again.
Kyungsoo shakes his head. "In first grade, there was a kid name Hyunjin in my class, and he was dumb as hell."
Now it's Jongin's turn to deadpan. "What does that have to do with our daughter?"
Kyungsoo shrugs. "I'm just saying... have you ever met a Hyunjin that was smart? I haven't."
Jongin rolls his eyes. They've been going through a book with baby names for a while now. Saw a thousand options but still haven't made a decision. Jongin didn't think it would be this hard.
"You know what? I'm going to open this book on a random page and point my finger to a random name. I don't care if it's the name of some girl we dated or the neighbor's dog," he decides. "I'm tired."
Closing his eyes, Jongin quickly flicks the pages and then stops. He opens his eyes and stares at the name that destiny chose. "Jiwoo," he reads out loud.
"Jiwoo? Do Jiwoo? Kim Jiwoo? Kim Jiwoo!" Kyungsoo's face lits up with approval. He lays a hand on Jongin's belly, trying to feel any movement as he talks to the baby inside. "Jiwoo-ya, what do you say? Do you like it? Our little Jiwoo."
Suddenly Jongin makes a face of discomfort. "Fuck, she's kicking my bladder," he says, quickly getting up.
"I'll take that as a no then," Kyungsoo sighs, watching Jongin go.
Jongin stirs awake with the sound of singing and a soft thudding in his stomach. His hand instinctively reaches for his belly. He feels the movements, and as he opens his eyes, he sees them. They are bigger and stronger than usual, but it's no surprise considering where the singing is coming from. The party inside his stomach goes unnoticed by Kyungsoo, who sits at the end of the bed, concentrating on massaging Jongin's feet.
"She loves your voice," Jongin mumbles happily.
Instantly Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin's belly and smiles at the sight.
"Is that true, Jiwoo-ya?" he asks softly. "I was singing so quietly. I didn't want you to wake up."
Jongin stretches out his body, yawning as he fully wakes up from the short nap. "It's okay. I can't believe I fell asleep." Recently he bought a pregnancy pillow, and that is doing wonders for his back pain. After lunch, he settled in Kyungsoo's room, comfortably laying with the pillow around his body. With a full stomach and a good massage on his feet, it's no surprise how fast he dozed off.
"I think this is the most peaceful I've ever seen you. You didn't even snore."
"I don't snore," he pouts.
"Yeah, you do and loudly. Which is why you're gonna have to move here, to my room, when Jiwoo is born. I can't let my poor daughter sleep next to a rusty lawnmower."
His eyes widen at Kyungsoo's audacity, then narrow as he glares at his friend. "Excuse me?"
Dropping Jongin's foot, Kyungsoo reaches for his phone, browsing through it until he clicks on the file he was looking for. The sound of loud snoring fills the room. Kyungsoo raises a brow at Jongin.
"That's not me," Jongin denies, shaking his head. Kyungsoo promptly turns the screen to show Jongin's face on the video. "It's edited," he defends himself.
"Okay, okay, whatever makes you sleep better at night."
Jongin anxiously looks down at his phone. He has been trying to talk to Kyungsoo for the past twenty minutes, but every time the call goes straight to voicemail. His friend left hours ago and still hasn't returned. Ever since Ms. Doh found out about Jongin's pregnancy, she has been sending them healthy, homemade meals. She knew that otherwise, they would live on junk food like they always had. That's why Kyungsoo went there today; to get more food because they ate the last of it at lunch.
Jongin was patiently waiting; even when he started feeling hungry, he was sure that Kyungsoo would be home soon, so he waited. But about half an hour ago, Jiwoo began kicking him as if Jongin was some sort of soccer ball. And now he doesn't think he can wait anymore.
He tries one more time, and when there's still no answer, Jongin decides to call the nearest pizza place.
"Stop kicking me so hard," he says out loud, pouting at his belly. "I know you are hungry. I'm hungry too. But hurting me won't make the delivery guy come faster."
When the delivery guy does come, Jongin nearly cries. He quickly pays and gives the man a big tip, thanking him. He sets the boxes on the coffee table, and when he takes the first bite, that's when he cries. A few happy tears escape his eyes, and he doesn't bother wiping them.
He eats one slice after the other, and before he knows it, he is finishing the second pizza. He licks his lips and stares at the empty boxes, and it's like waking up from a trance. He just did that; he just ate two whole pizzas like it was nothing. Little by little, the initial bliss wears off, and all Jongin is left with is sadness. Sad because he ate junk food, which Jongin promised himself that he wouldn't do while pregnant and because he ate more than he should have and now he can't even get up, and Kyungsoo hasn't returned yet, and his stomach feels like it's going to explode and-
Jongin can't describe what he feels when he sees Kyungsoo walking through the door. And for some reason, it makes him cry harder. Ah, damn hormones.
"What happened?" Kyungsoo hurriedly drops the bags he brought by the door and goes to Jongin.
"I need to fucking pee, but I can't get up," Jongin says between hiccups. At that, Kyungsoo breathes out, shoulders sagging as relief takes over his body. Jongin is 33 weeks into the pregnancy, and Kyungsoo still hasn't gotten used to the mood swings. One minute he is horny; the next, he is crying, right before getting mad at Kyungsoo for not knowing what's going on.
"Okay, calm down. I'll help you."
"Don't tell me to calm down." Just like that, the sobbing stops. His voice increases with every step he takes, stressed about getting to the bathroom before he pees his pants. But he still has time to glare at Kyungsoo. "This is all your fault. I was hungry, and then Jiwoo started kicking me hard because she was hungry too. So I had to buy pizza, but I ate so much that now I can't even get up." His lips start trembling again. He feels out of breath just from walking from the couch to the bathroom. "What took you so long?"
"I'm sorry. I tried to come as fast as I could," Kyungsoo tries to explain, but as they reach the bathroom, Jongin quickly shuts the door on his face.
Inside the bathroom, the shouting and sobbing go quiet as Jongin's body immediately relaxes once he sits down on the toilet. Kyungsoo stands there outside the door, just in case Jongin needs his help again.
It takes a few minutes, but eventually, Jongin comes out, looking as if his outburst from moments before never happened.
"What did you bring? I'm still hungry," is the first thing he says, rubbing his belly.
"Didn't you just say you were full?" Kyungsoo asks, hesitantly. Jongin doesn't reply, he just slowly glares at him, and then Kyungsoo knows he shouldn't have said anything. "Um, why don't you go to the kitchen? I'll get the bags." He goes before Jongin hits him or something.
Pregnancy can be scary, Kyungsoo believes. And to think that just 7 months ago, the roles were reversed and that now he is the one fearing Jongin's scowl.
He goes straight to the front door and grabs the bags. That's when he notices the pizza boxes. "Three pizzas, Jongin? Why did you buy three pizzas?"
"I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat, so I had to buy two, and then if I bought a third pizza, there was a discount," he explains, going through the containers in the bags. He opens a couple and frowns. "This food is cold, Hyung."
"Oh, I'll heat it for you."
"No, it's okay. I'm tired. I think it's time to go to bed," Jongin yawns.
"Alright. I'll put the food in the fridge and then go to sleep too."
As he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, Jongin passes by the mess in the living room. He knows that Kyungsoo will clean it and feels just a little bad for his friend because it's not his mess. But then again, maybe Kyungsoo deserves it for coming home late and not saying anything.
Moments later, his eyes feel heavy as he walks into their bedroom. Just last week, they started transforming Jongin's old room into a nursery. So now Kyungsoo's bedroom is their bedroom.
He changes into a comfortable shirt and lays down on the bed, right where his pregnancy pillow is. It doesn't take long for Kyungsoo to come in.
"Anchovies, Jongin? Really?"
"Shut up, I was craving," Jongin pouts, eyes closed.
"Did you brush your teeth?" Kyungsoo asks, plugging his phone into the charger. "I'm not gonna kiss you after you ate pizza with anchovies, and god knows what else was on the other two."
"Who says I want to kiss you anyway? You are so full of yourself," the words come out slurred as he dozes off.
He stirs awake after what feels like minutes, and when he sees that it has, in fact, only been a few minutes, he gets mad. Kyungsoo's phone is buzzing like crazy on the nightstand, and Jongin tries to ignore it, but it's impossible. He reaches across the bed for it and tries to unlock it, only to be informed by a message on the screen that the password is incorrect. He gets frustrated when, after several more tries, there is still no luck. The password can't be wrong. Jongin knows all of Kyungsoo's passwords as if they were his own, and his phone password isn't any different. Could this be his pregnancy brain? Or did Kyungsoo change the password without telling him?
Luckily for him, Kyungsoo enters the room right then, a towel wrapped around his waist after showering.
"Did you change your password?"
"Yeah," Kyungsoo replies, turning to see his phone in Jongin's hand.
"I wanted to," Kyungsoo shrugs. If it was anyone else, Jongin wouldn't question it; it's his phone, he can do what he wants. But something about Kyungsoo's body language doesn't feel right.
"Are you going to give me the new one?"
Kyungsoo hesitates. "Um... No?" He doesn't even look at Jongin when he says it. Something definitely isn't right.
"Okay," Jongin says. He puts Kyungsoo's phone back where it was and lays down without saying another word. He hears Kyungsoo sighing, but otherwise, his friend doesn't say anything either.
His silence doesn't help Jongin sleep tonight, and hours later, he is still awake, trying to understand his own feelings. Deep inside him, something aches. It burns in his chest, and it makes it hard to breathe. It makes his eyes swell with tears. Which he quietly lets out, reasoning that if he does, it will make him feel better. But it doesn't.
He knows that this reaction isn't just another episode of pregnancy hormones. It's not out of nowhere and for no reason. He knows this is because of Kyungsoo. Because he is sure that Kyungsoo is hiding something on his phone. And the only conclusion he can come up with is that Kyungsoo is talking to someone and doesn't want Jongin to find out. He found someone that he likes, and it hurts because that person is not Jongin.
He isn't dumb. He's been through heartbreaks before, and he knows what that feels like. He doesn't know when it started or how, but now he realizes; he likes Kyungsoo. More than just a friend. In a very, very gay way.
This is all his fault. It was foolish to not see this coming, but how could he? He knows Kyungsoo better than anyone else. He has seen his friend picking his nose, and he even knows what Kyungsoo's fart smells like. How could he imagine that he would end up falling in love?
When the tears eventually stop, Jongin gets up and goes for a midnight snack. Usually, at this hour, Jiwoo is kicking like crazy. But maybe, just for tonight, she could sense how Jongin felt and decided to spare him; it's silly to think like that, but the thought brings him comfort.
It's hard to wake up the next day after a sleepless night. But Jongin has to work, so there's nothing he can do. He goes to take a shower, hoping that the cool water will help him get rid of the exhaustion. For a moment, he just closes his eyes, feeling the drops falling on his back. He has a headache and doesn't know if it's from crying his eyes out or from not sleeping, or maybe both.
He still hasn't talked to Kyungsoo. Now that he realized he has feelings for his best friend, Jongin doesn't know how to act. His heart wants to go to him, but a little voice inside his head prevents him from doing so. It reminds him that he shouldn't, that Kyungsoo doesn't belong to him, as he never has. That he is with someone, and that he doesn't even trust Jongin enough as a friend to tell him. Their friendship is not what it used to be, and it hurts to know that. Right now, it feels like Jongin lost him completely.
He doesn't think he is ready to face Kyungsoo yet, but when the soap accidentally slips from his hand, he doesn't have a choice but to call for him. It's too much effort to try to get down and get it himself with how big his belly is. And it could be a dangerous task with how drained he feels.
Kyungsoo is there in a heartbeat. He takes the soap without Jongin needing to ask twice. He even goes beyond and stays, helping Jongin wash his legs and any other place he can reach. And Jongin doesn't have the strength to push him away.
After a while, Kyungsoo breaks the silence. "Are you mad at me?" Jongin doesn't reply. Kyungsoo takes that as a yes. "Is it because I don't want to give you my new password?"
Jongin heaves a sigh. He would rather not talk about this right now, or ever, but it's easier to let the words out with his back to Kyungsoo.
"If you like someone, you can just tell me. I'm still your best friend, or at least I-" He presses his lips together, feeling tears gathering in his eyes. "You know you can tell me everything."
"What are you talking about?" He sounds genuinely confused, but that goes unnoticed by Jongin's dramatic brain.
"I know that's why you don't want me to look on your phone. You're going out with someone and, for some reason, doesn't want me to know. Which is ridiculous. You're always talked to me about everything, so I don't understand what changed now," Jongin blurts out in one breath. Without thinking, he turns to look at Kyungsoo.
"Uh, no, that's not- I mean, yeah, there is someone that I like. But I haven't asked them out yet," Kyungsoo explains. He looks flustered as he says, big eyes darting everywhere but Jongin's hard ones. "That's not why I didn't want to give you my password." He finally looks at Jongin. "I'm sorry that I upset you. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before, that I, um, like someone. I'm pretty sure that this person likes me too, but I still haven't told them or asked them out. This is still new to me, so I want to make sure that I do everything right. Because I really, really like this person, and I don't want to lose them."
Jongin's heartaches. So, Kyungsoo does like someone. It wasn't just him overthinking; this time, he was right. He has never seen his friend talking about someone like that. Kyungsoo has always been a confident person, so to see him looking so nervous... There's no doubt of how enamored he is.
How did Jongin not notice this before? There must have been signs that Kyungsoo was falling for someone. Maybe if Jongin had recognized them sooner, it wouldn't hurt so much now. But then again, he only realized his own feelings when it was too late.
"Anybody would be lucky to have you, hyung," Jongin can't help but say. It's the truth anyway. Whoever this person is, they have no idea how fortunate they are to be on the receiving end of Kyungsoo's affection.
"You think so?" Kyungsoo mutters with a silly little smile on his face.
Jongin nods his head. "I know," he whispers back.
Kyungsoo chuckles, relieved. "Should I ask them out? I'm nervous. Should I buy them flowers or something?"
Jongin shrugs. "If that's something that they like." His heart might be breaking at the thought of Kyungsoo with someone else, but right now, he'll be the friend that Kyungsoo needs.
"Do you like flowers?"
Jongin looks at the floor for a moment. He lets himself dream, what that would be like, getting flowers from Kyungsoo. It's not something he ever considered liking it. But he remembers just how many things he found himself enjoying ever since Kyungsoo kissed him for the first time. "No one ever gave me flowers before, but they are nice."
Kyungsoo nods his head. "What type of flower should I buy?"
"I don't know... their favorite," Jongin shrugs.
"What's your favorite?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Why?" Jongin is starting to get frustrated with Kyungsoo. He has to remind himself that Kyungsoo doesn't know that Jongin likes him. He's not trying to hurt him on purpose. But shouldn't there be a limit to how much Jongin will allow himself to suffer to help Kyungsoo with his crush? "It doesn't matter which one I like. You need to ask that to the person you want to go out with."
"Well, I'm trying to, but he's a dumbass," Kyungsoo deadpans.
It takes longer than he would admit for Jongin to realize what Kyungsoo is trying to say. Mostly because he can't believe it. " Oh. "
Kyungsoo shakes his head, smiling amused at Jongin. "Yeah."
Jongin's heart is jumping in his chest, happy, relieved, alive, in love. And under Kyungsoo's stare, he becomes shy again. "Well, uh, I don't know anything about flowers but roses, I guess? They may be cliche, but they are pretty."
Kyungsoo nods. "Noted," he smiles at Jongin, who shyly smiles back. He wants to kiss him, but before he gets the chance, Kyungsoo's eyes flicker to something behind Jongin. That's when they both realize that the shower is still on.
Jongin finishes washing up with Kyungsoo's help, and soon they leave the bathroom. Jongin can't stop looking at Kyungsoo as they stand in the middle of their bedroom. He's afraid that if he looks away, he'll wake up to find out that this is a dream. Part of him still can't believe it.
"Okay, so, I'm going out for a little bit, you know, there's something I need to buy," he smirks, "but I'll be right back. Is there anything you need?"
Jongin quickly comes back down to earth after a moment lost in Kyungsoo's eyes. He shakes his head to clear his mind. "Actually, yes. I'm craving strawberries. And could you also buy fried chicken? The spicy one."
"But you don't like spicy food."
"Yeah, I don't. But I guess Jiwoo does. She's your daughter too, you know?" he smiles at Kyungsoo, who chuckles, reaching out his hand to touch Jongin's belly.
"And all this time, I've been stopping mom from making your food spicy."
"Ah, so that's why," Jongin mumbles. "I thought it was weird but didn't say anything. It didn't taste like your mom's cooking at all."
"Well, technically, she wasn't the one cooking?" Kyungsoo tilts his head. Jongin would coo if he wasn't confused by what he means. "I asked her to teach me how to cook. We can't have Jiwoo eating junk food, can we?"
"Really?" Jongin asks, surprised. Kyungsoo confirms with a nod. Jongin can't resist leaning forward to press his lips against Kyungsoo's. "I appreciate that, but this time bring me spicy, please."
"You got it. I'll be right back."
When Kyungsoo comes back an hour later, he carries grocery bags in one hand and a big, beautiful bouquet in the other. Jongin has already started working, but as his own boss, he gives himself half an hour break to make out with Kyungsoo. And then, when amidst kisses, Kyungsoo stops to answer a text, and Jongin sees what he was hiding on his phone, he decides that work can wait another day.
For their first official date, Jongin asks Kyungsoo to cook for him. It takes a week for Kyungsoo to decide on a menu, buy the ingredients and check with his mom to make sure he doesn't make any mistakes. Cooking in front of the stove, Kyungsoo reminds Jongin to not expect much, that he is still learning, and Jongin hums to show that he is listening. But his attention is somewhere else.
From where he sits in the chair, Jongin's eyes are focused on Kyungsoo's body. There is something so hot about watching him cook; he can't determine what, but honestly? Who cares. He gets up and goes to Kyungsoo, placing both hands on his waist as he begins kissing his neck.
Kyungsoo tilts his head just a little to look at Jongin. "Are you hungry?" he asks.
"Yeah. For you," Jongin breathes in his ear, hand going down to grab his crotch.
Kyungsoo smirks. "Pregnancy is really something else. What happened to that Jongin who was blushing like crazy when I fucked him for the first time. When did he get this horny?" He turns around, leaving the pans unattended.
"He had a taste of your cock," Jongin whispers right before claiming Kyungsoo's mouth. He continues to palm Kyungsoo's clothed cock until Kyungsoo groans, growing half hard inside his pants.
"Jongin, the food," Kyungsoo warns lowly, but Jongin is unwilling to stop. He kisses him harder, holding the back of his neck. "Can't it wait?"
Jongin shakes his head. "It can't. I'm too horny."
"Okay, hold on." Kyungsoo turns around and turns off the stove. A second later, his mouth is back on Jongin's as they stumble their way to their bedroom.
By the time they reach their bed, Jongin is already naked, too impatient to wait. He unties the apron for Kyungsoo and urges him to take the rest of his clothes. He took a long shower earlier, prepped himself, which he rarely does, preferring Kyungsoo's fingers stretching him up. He has been ready, waiting for this all day, all week, and now he just wants it. But Kyungsoo, oh-so-annoying, Kyungsoo prefers taking his time. He kisses down Jongin's body, giving special attention to his tits, but not really doing anything Jongin wants him to, afraid of hurting him.
"Kyungsoo, I need your mouth right here," he mutters, squeezing his nipple. A few drops of milk leaks out as he does so. He started leaking a few weeks ago, just a few drops but enough to stain the inside of his bra. His boobs have grown considerably since the first time Kyungsoo saw them, but he has yet to play with them.
Kyungsoo gulps, cock twitching. "Are you sure? Won't it hurt?"
"It won't, but even if it does, I don't care. I want you to, please."
No need to tell him twice; a moment later, Kyungsoo has his tongue around one nipple and his fingers gently pinching the other. It has Jongin seeing stars. He moans, hand finding its way to the back of Kyungsoo's head, encouraging him to suck him harder. He spreads his legs as wide as he can, feeling Kyungsoo's cock brushing against his hole. His own cock rests hard between their bodies, leaking pre-cum on his belly.
"Ah, fuck, it's so good," Jongin cries, intoxicated with desire, feeling Kyungsoo thrusting into his entrance without really pushing it inside of him. Jongin moves his hips up, matching the timing of Kyungsoo's thrusts, bodies set into a steady rhythm. His breathing becomes erratic, moans getting louder as he feels himself getting closer and closer to the edge.
"Wait, wait." He pulls a confused Kyungsoo off his chest and prompts him to lie on his back. With some difficulty, Jongin gets up on his knees and straddles Kyungsoo's hips. He slicks Kyungsoo's cock with lube, and then with one hand holding his heavy belly, Jongin leans forward and reaches behind himself. He lines up Kyungsoo's aching cock with his needy hole before sinking down.
Kyungsoo's hands settle on Jongin's waist, helping to keep him steady as Jongin bounces on his cock. Jongin's tits move with him, his cock bobbing free. There's nothing as pleasurable as the way Kyungsoo's shaft stretches him open, making him lose himself.
"Who knew sex with you would be one of the best things I've ever experienced?" Kyungsoo groans, squeezing Jongin's waist, entranced by the pregnant man riding his cock. The sight makes him throb inside Jongin's warm, wet walls. The sensation resonates through Jongin's body, and it makes him gasp, shivering as he smiles, satisfied at Kyungsoo.
"Same," Jongin agrees. He plants his feet on the bed and his hands on Kyungsoo's thighs. He opens his legs wide as he grinds down, giving Kyungsoo a full view of where his cock disappears inside him. With every moan that Jongin lets out, Kyungsoo thanks himself for the day when, without thinking, he kissed Jongin for the first time.
Jongin increases the speed, supporting himself on only one hand as the other grasps his cock, fisting himself fast. A few jerks later, and he is spilling all over Kyungsoo's chest. He doesn't stop riding Kyungsoo, clenching down on his cock until he feels Kyungsoo cumming deep inside him. He milks every last drop, coming to a stop only when he feels too tired.
"Best first date ever," he says, laying down next to Kyungsoo.
"All we did was have sex," Kyungsoo laughs.
After sex, Kyungsoo goes back to the kitchen as Jongin decides to take a nap. When he wakes up to Jiwoo kicking at his organs, the food is ready. He eats everything and then some, crying tears of joy because now he'll be able to eat delicious food whenever he wants to. Later that night, he thanks Kyungsoo by blowing his cock.
The next morning, they wake up entangled in each other's arms. Jongin sighs happily as his mouth easily finds Kyungsoo's. They kiss unhurriedly, whispering sweet nothings because they can because they wasted long enough. Because they love each other in a weird, romantic, and cheesy way. More than just friends, and there's nothing wrong with that.