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Caterpillar Man: got a new stray
REEEE: oooo, send pics of the new kitty!
Caterpillar Man: [image.jpg]
Zzz zzz: sho that's a kid
HighNoon: how legal is this
Caterpillar Man: what do you mean this is my kid now
SPAAAACE: aizawa did you kidnap a child???
REEEE: i cant believe you didnt tell me? was i just supposed to come home and see this actual child curled up on the couch and NOT scream??
Caterpillar Man: idk why you guys are making such a big deal about this
Zzz zzz: hang on, back to the legality, please tell me you didn't just pick up this kid off the street
Caterpillar Man: ...
Zzz zzz: SHO I STG
Caterpillar Man: the kid was clearly abandoned. I merely exercised the age old adage: finders keepers
Rat God: I have the legal identity of the child, sorry it took so long, the picture doesn't have a good angle on the face! You can keep them :)
Mighty Man: Young Aizawa, I...
Caterpillar Man: Nedzu approved, we're good, he's mine forever, thanks
Ghostbusters: how old is this kid, they're tiny
Blockhead: this kid is like, under 10, right?
Caterpillar Man: nah this kid's 14
Nurse Joy: Nedzu, if you have access to the child's doctors, please send them my way, there is no way that child should be that small at his age.
Rat God: [link]
Nurse Joy: Thank you. I have some licenses to revoke.
REEEE: does the little listener have a name?
Caterpillar Man: yeah, my kid
Zzz zzz: ...do you know the name of the child.
Caterpillar Man: of course. On an unrelated note, Nedzu can you send me that file?
Rat God: [link]
Zzz zzz: sho im enacting auntie rights and coming over after school
Caterpillar Man: what, no, you'll scare him, the cockatoo will be bad enough
REEEE: ajhdsgfiueg betrayed??? by my own husband??
Caterpillar Man: Zashi, if you scare the kid when you come home, I am sending you to Nem's house without hesitation
HighNoon: yamada i need you to not fuck this up so the rest of us can stay updated on this situation
REEEE: i promise to be on my best behavior
Caterpillar Man: and quietest
REEEE: and quietest
Ghostbusters: ok this file is making me
Ghostbusters: Upset.
Zzz zzz: wow, i mean, i knew people were nasty, it comes with my persona, but this kid looks like a sweetheart? i need names, I just want to talk.
Rat God: Worry not, I'm already investigating the school :)
Mighty Man: the boy has infractions on his records? it says he picks fights and disrupts classes?
Caterpillar Man: be very careful with what you're about to say next, Yagi.
Mighty Man: ...I do not understand why all of you are concerned, is all.
Caterpillar Man is typing...
REEEE: oh man, can i get an F in the chat for All Might?
Zzz zzz: F
Ghostbusters: F
Nurse Joy: F
Blockhead: F
HighNoon: F
LabSafety101: F
I Hunger: F
Bloody Legend: F
Rat God: F :)
Mighty Man: what does that mean?
Caterpillar Man: there are clear signs of abuse in that file if you have enough brain cells to see past the surface. Why the hell would a kid this small and scared looking go picking fights? Assflash, newshole, he wouldn't! I didn't get much out of him when i was pulling him back from the edge of a building, but this kid is absolutely covered in scars from his "friends." I talked to the kid for maybe 5 minutes and he's smart as a whip. He had a suicide note written in his notebook and I looked at the rest of it (what was legible, anyway, the whole book looked both burnt and drowned) and he has some incredible analysis skills. If he didn't say he was quirkless, I would think he has an intelligence quirk like Nedzu. The kid has been nothing but beat down on his whole life and if another negative word comes out of your goddamn mouth then I will hang you from the flagpole by your shitty, gaudy spandex suit
Zzz zzz: go off, sweetie! Also I'm baking cookies for the poor baby, I'll drop them off later
REEEE: the poor listener :((( kids have only gotten worse since we were in school...
Rat God: Aizawa, would you be willing to send me some of that analysis?
Caterpillar Man: [image.jpg]
Nurse Joy: is the boy injured in anyway? Do I need to make a stop?
Caterpillar Man: I didn't see anything, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was hiding things from me, even if he does know who I am
HighNoon: wait are you telling me he knows you're eraserhead?
Caterpillar Man: yeah i was pretty shocked too. Apparently he wants to be a hero too, so he looked for people who fight basically quirkless, like me. Gave me a pretty good ramble about my quirk, and I've found like, what, one 15 second video of me? Ever?
REEEE: sho that video is blurry as hell?
Zzz zzz: also how tf did he know your name?
Caterpillar Man: idk
Rat God: you said he wanted to be a hero? Is he planning on attending UA this year? :)
Caterpillar Man: Nedzu. I found him first
Rat God: :)
Mighty Man: His analysis is all well and good, but it's far too dangerous for the young man to be a hero!
Caterpillar Man: ah, so you have chosen death.
REEEE: better lock your doors, all might, sho's on the warpath now
Mighty Man: what did I say? I just want to keep the poor boy safe...
Caterpillar Man: were it not for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you.
REEEE: what he means is he doesn't want to leave the kid and that's the only thing keeping you alive rn
Caterpillar Man: that too
Zzz zzz: all might, honey, you know that a lot of us don't have super offensive quirks, right? The quirk doesn't make the hero, and if the kids as smart as Nedzu seems to be implying, it's not like he needs one anyway
Mighty Man: but heroics is so dangerous! Without the buffer of a quirk, he is sure to get himself killed before long, no matter how good his training and analysis
HighNoon: all might, didn't you have a sidekick with a non physical quirk?
Mighty Man: Sir Nighteye, yes.
HighNoon: then why are you hating on this kid
Zzz zzz: also me and the rest can be super countered super easy to the point where we're basically totally quirkless
Caterpillar Man: just because he can't be a hero like you doesn't mean he can't be a hero
REEEE: YO
Zzz zzz: OH SHIT
Rat God: :)
HighNoon: DAMN, BITCH
I Hunger: I'll get you some ice from the freezer
Bloody Legend: Aizawa holy shit
Nurse Joy: honestly, Toshinori...
Ghostbusters: yikes
Blockhead: I'm close to tears
LabSafety101: god this is like watching a murder
Caterpillar Man: anyway I've had Midoriya for about an hour and if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in Japan and then myself
REEEE: I'm heading home soon, do you want me to pick up some food? What does the little listener like?
Zzz zzz: oh stop by and get the cookies from me, I just took then out of the oven
Caterpillar Man: he hasn't woken up yet and honestly I kinda just want to let him sleep, it's been a stressful day, so get whatever
HighNoon: remember to keep us updated
Blockhead: wait what are you going to do tomorrow, you both have class
Rat God: oh, you can bring him to campus, I would like to speak with him :)
Caterpillar Man: Nedzu. I will reiterate. I found him first
Rat God: and you can keep him! I merely want to help. I promise I won't scare him too much :)
Caterpillar Man: ... fine. If anything bad happens I'm lighting the school on fire on my way out
Rat God: Understandable, have a nice day :)
Bloody Legend: oh God he's memeing now. Yamada, I blame you
Zzz zzz: I'm only mildly terrified
Mighty Man: I don't understand, he merely told Young Aizawa to have a nice day? How is that a "meme"?
REEEE: ok boomer
Zzz zzz: ok boomer
Rat God: ok boomer
HighNoon: ok boomer
Ghostbusters: ok boomer
Ghostbusters: wait a second
REEEE: BTW IM HOME AND I CAN CONFIRM HE IS CUTER THAN THE PICTURE
Zzz zzz: as soon as he's acclimated I'm enacting auntie rights
HighNoon: apparently he'll be in-building tomorrow so you'll have time to be your wine aunt self then
Zzz zzz: part of me wants to be mad at you and the other part of me knows you are so right
REEEE: OK SO SINCE I CANT SCREAM AT HOME LET ME SCREAM HERE
REEEE: THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING KID I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE
REEEE: HE'S SO SWEET? AND SMART? IF I FIND OUT WHO HURT THIS BOY I WILL USE MY PHD TO FIND THEIR RESONANT FREQUENCY AND LITERALLY SHOUT THEM APART
Caterpillar Man: the kid's asleep so I'm going on patrol to release some anger
Zzz zzz: oop, rip yagi, I hope your door locks are secure

~~~~~

Caterpillar Man has been nicknamed "Dadzawa" by Rat God
Dadzawa: we are on our way. he loves heroes so he will ramble at you. let him approach you first
Zzz zzz: yes sir!
Blockhead: sure
HighNoon: aye aye
Ghostbusters: no problem
Nurse Joy: he can swing by to see me before classes if he had any injuries
REEEE: not that we saw, any injuries were old, but there were a few
LabSafety101: so is the sprout spending the whole day with Nedzu?
Zzz zzz: god i hope not
Dadzawa: not the entire day
Rat God: sadly :)
Dadzawa: he'll be watching any hero classes that have exercises, but he'll probably also stop by the support labs
LabSafety101: uh
Rat God: he will likely give wonderful ideas of how support gear can interact better with quirks! Take care of him, Majima :)
LabSafety101: I...I'll do my best
Dadzawa: right, coming up on the school. Remember, if you swarm him or make him uncomfortable...
Zzz zzz: death, yeah, got it
HighNoon: I like my legs, thanks
REEEE: :)

 

Dadzawa: i'd say thats a successful first half of the day
Rat God: oh yes! :)
LabSafety101: I'm concerned. Should I be concerned? I haven't seen him yet.
Zzz zzz: I would be concerned, but on the plus side, he's eating lunch in the teacher's lounge
REEEE: you'll get to see the little bean!
Dadzawa: just to confirm everyone knows the drill
Dadzawa: swarm him?
Zzz zzz: die
Blockhead: die
Ghostbusters: die
Bloody Legend: die
Mighty Man: ...die?
Dadzawa: ah, so you can learn
I Hunger: I've already seen him and he's so sweet ;-;
I Hunger: he rambled about me? I'm not even well known?
SPAAAACE: yeah he saw me earlier with a heroics exercise and I don't mean to be dramatic but I would die for him
Dadzawa: you will
REEEE: but sho that would make the little listener sad
Dadzawa: ...hmm, you're right
Dadzawa: the little nettle seems to be getting along well
REEEE: he was so excited to see Snipe oml
Zzz zzz: did you just call him a nettle? like the plant that hurts you when you touch it?
Dadzawa: he's green
HighNoon: but he sure as hell isn't prickly, that boy has a set of lungs on him, I don't know if he breathed the entire time he rambled about my quirk
Ghostbusters: he wasn't...afraid of me... ;-;
Blockhead: he asked me so many questions I don't know the answer too
LabSafety101: he's tiny?
Dadzawa: you better be paying attention to him
LabSafety101: he literally just got here
Dadzawa: if he gets hurt in your labs...
LabSafety101: i'll check back in with chat at the end of the day
Dadzawa: good call
Bloody Legend: you know, aizawa, if you keep threatening your coworkers, they might complain
Zzz zzz: nah the green bean is worth it
REEEE: ^^
Rat God: you can complain all you want, it will do nothing :)
HighNoon: wow, even the overlord likes him
Rat God: we had a very wonderful chat this morning! I also have some notes to give to you all that you'll find in an email at the end of the day. Majima will also be getting some for your support gear.
Dadzawa: I'm torn between being protective and never letting him near you again, or proud that even you like him
REEEE: just be glad he doesn't want to take the bean
Rat God: oh, heavens no, I am not equipped to raise a child, let alone a human child. Also I doubt the world would be ready for another me :)
Rat God: still, if he does decide to come to UA, I will want some personal time to cultivate his mind :)
Dadzawa: fine but you'll be replacing someone else's class
Rat God: of course! I will see where his schooling is at later, but from what I can tell, he will likely not need to take math
Ghostbusters: :(
Bloody Legend: bold of you to assume he'll be in your class
Dadzawa: bold of you to assume I am not capable of tearing your legs off
Bloody Legend: ok wow
Bloody Legend: I'm pretty sure there's a policy that you can't teach your kids tho
Dadzawa: legally he isn't my kid
REEEE: yet
Dadzawa: yet
Zzz zzz: I kind of forgot about the cookies but HE DIDN'T!
Zzz zzz: he thanked me and looked so flustered? He said they were tasty? Im love?
HighNoon: can i be the gay uncle
REEEE: i thought that was assumed
HighNoon: i have to secure my spot, i just wanted to make sure
Zzz zzz: im already the wine aunt so we're good there
Zzz zzz: oh! I have to tell Tensei he's an uncle now!
LabSafety101: before you yell at me, he said something concerning
Dadzawa: elaborate
LabSafety101: one of the support students had something explode. He flinched, but when I asked about it he said he was "used to it being much closer, so really it's fine"
Dadzawa: :)
Dadzawa: what?
Rat God: I'm adding it to the file. I should have security footage soon and then I can identify the cause :)
Dadzawa: when I find the people who have hurt my son
Zzz zzz: give us a call when you do, we can help hide the evidence at least
REEEE: ^^
Bloody Legend: I don't condone murder but ^^
HighNoon: wow even Vlad agrees, mark the date
Bloody Legend: oh shut up, the kid had stars in his eyes talking about my quirk, ive fallen for the trap
Dadzawa: damn straight

~~~~~

Dadzawa: I have adopted another stray
REEEE: please tell me its not a human child again
Dadzawa: calm down, I adopted a cat
Dadzawa: [image.jpg]
Zzz zzz: Sho I love you but there is another human child in that picture, even if they are UNDER a cat
Dadzawa: let me amend my statement
Dadzawa: I ALSO adopted a cat
REEEE: ok ive taken a moment to calm down, now i can say WHAT THE FUCK, SHO
Dadzawa: to be entirely fair, I got this one through far more legal means than the other one
HighNoon: what does that mean oh my god
Zzz zzz: ikm fuchiokn dyingf lmasoooo
Dadzawa: Hitoshi was in the foster system and I have legally adopted him
SPAAAAACE: doesnt that usually take at least 2 weeks?
Dadzawa: its amazing what a hero license can do these days
HighNoon: and there goes the legality, right out the window
Zzz zzz: he's really cute, I'm glad both my little nephews are cuties
Blockhead: wow that's a nice cat. Persian?
Dadzawa: THANK YOU, YES. There's gonna be long white fur everywhere but isn't she so cute???
REEEE: mentoss, are you just going to ignore the HUMAN CHILD???
Ghostbusters: yamada, you should know by now, there is nothing you can do to stop him
Blockhead: yeah at least he got this one semi-legally
Rat God: how do the two of them get along?
Dadzawa: the kid and the cat, or...?
Rat God: no, the two charges you have taken on :)
Dadzawa: both Izuku and Hitoshi love their new brother and they get along great
Dadzawa: i have never seen Izuku smile so much than when Hitoshi told him about his quirk
Zzz zzz: not even when he met all those heroes at school?
Dadzawa: nope, not even then
REEEE: did you tell him i exist, because im coming home rn
Dadzawa: yeah he was excited, he thinks you're cool
Dadzawa: not as cool as me, of course
Mighty Man: should I be concerned that you have essentially admitted to something illegal
Dadzawa: can someone get this man a fucking medal? Wow, you're doing great hero work, Yagi. Fuck off
Zzz zzz: foster system is rough, yagi, you aren't winning this one, back off while you still have teeth
Mighty Man: teeth?
Dadzawa: :)
Rat God: :)
REEEE: oh god there's two of them
Zzz zzz: tell them auntie is baking more cookies! I want to meet my new nephew!
Dadzawa: i have a husband, 3 cats, and two kids. If you had told me that ten years ago, I would have laughed my ass off, but now?
Dadzawa: now im just happy