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It had been two years since that faithful night, two years since a screaming match had lead to two years of avoiding each other. Jared wished desperately he could turn back the time and stop the fight from happening, he wished he could have taken back everything he said to Jensen. He wished he hadn't pushed Jensen to the point where even he had to say some harsh words back to Jared.

The night seemed to play repeatedly in his head like a broken record, he couldn't even bring himself to leave the apartment they once inhabited together, he had moved into the guest bedroom because it felt all too wrong to sleep in the bed where he and Jensen used to spend their night making love and telling each sweet nothings. He could already feel the tears beginning to fill his eyes just at the thought of this, he felt like he was constantly on eggshells walking his own house.

Of course, he never let anyone know how much the breakup truly affected him, he never even reached out, he felt ashamed for being so hung up on Jensen. He kept his emotions to himself through the years, over the years he had become better at hiding his pain and keeping a poker face. To the public world, he was a man who had it all, a man that always had a bright smile on his face no matter the situation, little did they know he spent most of his nights gripping onto his pillows that still smelled like Jensen, desperate to feel his comforting touch again.

He wasn't sure how Jensen dealt with the breakup, even he even cared about the breakup as much as Jared did, hell, if he even remembered his name. All he knew was that he either was amazing at faking or the relationship genuinely didn't affect him.

He bit his inner lip as he ran a hand through his now much shorter hair, his arms covered in goosebumps as he walked down the apartment complex's stairs to check his mailbox. He wasn't expecting much other than bills to be in there so when a nicely decorated envelope dropped to his feet when he opened his mailbox, he couldn't help but be slightly surprised at this discovery. He picked up the envelope and noticed his name neatly written on the front of it. "Couldn't have just sent a text?" He muttered below his breath, slightly annoyed but mostly upset that someone had spent that much effort to make something for him. When he opened it, a sweet smell of berries hit his nose, he couldn't help but smile whenever he began to read the letter. It was an invitation from Jeffrey to a small get together, he had no doubt in his mind Hilarie was the one who was handling the letters as he knew Jeffrey would've either half-assed it or would have just sent a simple text.

He found himself once again biting his lip as he contemplated if he should go. He wanted desperately to see Jeff again, he could use the distraction plus he wouldn't mind just being able to talk to someone without keeping up a facade. But he also knew Jensen would most likely be there too and Jared wasn't sure if he was ready to see Jensen again. If he should.

Would it really be that bad to just hang out with Jeff? I could simply avoid Jensen... or I could just not go...

. . .

Jensen was much better at the act than Jared thought, he could keep a pleasant smile, interact with people as much as needed, and attended events the bare minimum amount of time before leaving. He kept himself professional and distant at all times, never letting anyone get close enough to catch onto When Jensen may have been lying. After he and Jared's breakup, he became a bit more shut off from the world, although it wasn't much different than he was before Jared, he couldn't bring himself to let anyone stay more than a night in his bed. Five years of being with someone who had changed the way you see life completely wasn't something anyone could do easily. Especially when you were still as in love with him as you were when you first kissed.

He told no one about how his feelings or thoughts, the idea of letting himself be that emotionally weak around someone other than Jared made him feel sick, it didn't feel right in any sense of the word. He only wanted to be that emotionally vulnerable around Jared. He was the only one Jensen saw worth it.

While he was cooling down from a run one early morning, he stopped next to his mailbox after just seeing the mail truck zooming past him a little bit before. his hair sticking to his face heated and sweaty forehead as he found a fancy letter in the mailbox and began reading it. His immediate reaction was the decline, but he thought it would be best to at least try and have a social life besides the one he forced himself to have to keep up appearances. Besides, a fun night with Jeff seemed to be the perfect way to take off some edge he had been building up for the past two years.

He decided he would be attending the get-together.

. . .

The night came sooner than both had anticipated, multiple times did they both reconsider their attendance. Jared even attempted to contact Jeffrey to tell him he was feeling under the weather and couldn't come by. But instead of Jeff answering, it was Hilarie who was more than willing to call Jared out on his bullshit attempt at trying to avoid seeing Jensen.

"I know things are awkward between you and Jensen, it's never fun to see an ex. But Jared, please? Jeff and I really miss seeing you."

How could he say no to that? As much as he hated the idea of seeing Jensen, he hated the idea of disappointing Hilarie and Jeffrey even more. So he agreed to go and made sure every one of his fingernails was bitten off hastily from the anxiety of that night coming closer. God, he hated that even when broke up Jensen still held control of Jared and still managed to make him just as nervous as he did when they were together.

Jared spent hours trying to figure out what would be appropriate to wear, nothing too fancy but also nothing like the worn-out gray shirt he was wearing at the moment. He decided on buying a new outfit.

Jensen on the other hand was always one to dress to impress, sure it didn't take much when he looked the way he did, that man could wear dirty sweatpants with a torn shirt and he'd still look better than most of the population on planet earth. Jared sighed, there he goes again, swooning over his ex like a loser that can't move on.

Well, maybe I am a loser.

. . .

It was around 6:30 whenever Jared finally got the guts to get out of his car which he had been sitting in for almost an hour, staring worryingly at the house while he waited to see if Jensen's car would arrive, it never did. So Jared finally got out of the car and made his way to the front door, he wasn't in anything too extravagant, he had only bought some black jeans and a plaid button-up. That didn't stop his mind from immediately questioning whether or not he overdressed, causing quite a bit hesitant when he raised his hand to knock on the door— luckily, or unluckily as Jared would like to put it, Hilarie had opened the door and embraced Jared with a smile. She smelled of pies, roses, and comfort. All of his stress seemed to go away whenever she pulled away and lead him inside.

"We've missed you, Jared! Jeffrey in his study, but there are some others waiting in the living room I'd like you to meet—!" Jared felt his heart sink. He wasn't ready to be in a room with so many strangers, the idea of them staring at him, judging him, made his anxiety shoot through the roof. He had to make up some sort of excuse, there was no way he could make it through the night without breaking down. His inner monologue began belittling him with insults at his hesitation to meet new people.

It's just a few people Jared. Stop being such a pussy. It wouldn't hurt you to just get the fuck over Jensen and socialize.

He's not even here yet, hell, we don't even know if he is coming. Maybe he skipped.

Jared's arm twitched at the gentle touch of Hilarie, snapping him out of his thoughts before his mind could think of anything else to belittle him with. "Jared?" She asked concern dripped through her tone. "I'm alright... just a bit... anxious to be in a room with so many people. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that." Hilarie frowned, but not in an angry way or even in a sad way, it still managed to make the hairs on the back of Jared's neck stand straight up. "Jared, I want to be honest with you, I invited some... men for you to meet, I don't know if anything will happen but I really would like for you to get over Jensen—" even Hearing his name made his stomach turn. "I just want to see you happy again. Please, i won't push you any further than I already have, but it would mean a lot to me if you at least tried." Jared bit the inside of his cheek, weighing the options of what would really happen if he talked to these men. It couldn't hurt to try, would it? Hilarie seemed genuine, so he could at least assure himself that she wasn't doing this to mock him, not that she would in the first place. "Fine, but if I get too uncomfortable, I'm coming straight into the kitchen with you." He said, looking down at her with immediate regret. She smiled warmly and nodded, pulling him into one last big hug before leading him to the living room.

Jared was a bit taken back when he saw the people in the living room, there were three guys and two girls all socializing whenever Jared entered, he mentally sighed in relief when he saw that Jensen wasn't in the room. Maybe he really didn't show up. Jared smiled as he was introduced, immediately a man caught his eye, he had unruly dirty blonde locks along with the greenest eyes Jared had ever seen, well, almost. it didn't hurt that he was clearly well built. He was definitely Jared's type and it made him mentally cringe that Hilarie knew exactly his type. "Hey, Jared right?" He said, his voice deep enough to send shivers down Jared's back. "Yes," he squeaked out, although he would refuse to ever acknowledge he did so. "Nice to meet you, I'm Markus, a friend of Hilarie. I've heard quite a bit about you." Jared couldn't help but admire the man's physic, Markus definitely took good care of his body and it showed beautifully— the immediate attraction didn't make the guilt any less prevalent but he continued talking, after all, he did come here to distract himself.

As Jared and Markus began talking, Jared lost track of time, he couldn't help it, he hadn't had this genuine of conversation in a while and it was relaxing that Markus was willing to listen to him rambling, never interrupting him or calling him out whenever he repeated himself. Everything seemed to be going well, Jared was having a good time drinking and getting to know the man. At least, it was all good until Hilarie came into the living room, a man following her closely as she smiled. "Hey everyone, this is Jensen. Some of you may know him and some of you may not, anyways, food is almost done, continue socializing!" She said sweetly before making her way out the door, leaving an awkward silence between the room as Jared began to practically hide behind the man he was talking to like a scared kitten. Jensen's eyes caught Jared's as he was entering the room, Jared gulped and turned around, he could feel Jensen's eyes on the back of his head. "Jared, what's wrong?" Markus inquired, looking at Jensen with confusion. "Nothing... I just... I just need to go cool down for a bit, maybe refill my drink." He stumbled over his words, Markus placed his hands on both Jared's shoulders to try and keep him in place as he attempted to figure out what was happening. "Jared, calm down. Is it Jensen? I noticed when he came in you began getting very quiet..." Jared continued to choke on his words as his eyes locked with Jensen's, they were as intense as ever. "No no... it's okay." He muttered quietly. He can't run because Jensen was here, he couldn't let Jensen continue to have that power over him. He came there to have fun and forget about life for a moment, he wasn't going to let Jensen ruin the night. "I'm fine Markus, let's continue what we were talking about." He murmured. Markus decided it was best not to pester Jared by pushing it Amy further, picking up where the last left off in their conversation.

Jensen's eyes were on Jared the entire time, even when he was talking to other people, he continued to stare. He couldn't help it, Jared looked amazing for one and two, an unknown man was talking to him. Of course, he knew they weren't together anymore, he wanted to rip the other man's head off every time his fingers dared to touch Jared. The urge to fuck Jared into the couch while the man watched helplessly washed through him repeatedly. Jensen knew he couldn't just go up to Jared and demand why he was getting so close to the other man— that was no longer his place no matter how much he wished it was. Besides, his possessiveness was one of the reasons Jensen lost Jared in the first place. Finally, after what seemed like hours of tormenting, Jared left to use the restroom. Jensen followed much to the dismay of the man whom Jared was talking to.

Jared could feel his presence as he walked and he could feel himself becoming weak just at the thought of how possessive he had gotten. He wished Jensen hadn't followed him, he desperately needed some release after his cock had hardened the minute Jared and Jensen made eye contact. "Jared." A voice barked from behind Jared making him standstill. "Yes, Jensen?" He croaked out, body shaking as he felt Jensen's hot breath against his ears. He shouldn't be so willing to completely submit to Jensen, do whatever he said, but It was in his nature to want to bend over for the man and let him take what he pleased, even after two years. "What do you think you're doing?" Demanded, his arms crossed. "I-I..." Jared began before being cut off by the feeling of being tugged into the bathroom. "Jensen.." he whimpered quietly "shut up." He growled, pining Jared against a wall, Jared all of sudden felt so small despite height difference. "Jensen, what are you doing? We can't... we're not even together anymore, you can't just get all possessive over me like before." He squeaked out as his body actively began betraying him by leaning into every touch Jensen gave him. Jensen looked down at Jared's squirming body before placing his hand against Jared's now throbbing erection in his pants. "If you really didn't like it you wouldn't be hard."  Jared moaned out at the touch, whimpering pathetically as Jensen growled, his eyes darkening as his eyes began to roam his body. "Fuck Jensen... I missed your touch." Jared admitted, all of his control began to draining away. "I can tell, you haven't let anyone fuck you since me, have you?" He questioned looking Jared in the eyes. Jared knew he better answer this correctly. "N-no... I... no one could make me feel like you did..." he said, his face flustered, Jensen smirked at the answer. "Good, because I would fucking kill anyone who dared to fuck you, you're mine. I don't care if we've broken up, you're mine slut." Jared nodded his head, he was desperate to hear those words come out of Jensen's mouth again, he lost count of the number of times he touched himself to the memories of what Jensen said to him. "Fuck, Jensen, please, fuck me. I don't care if you're just using me for a quick fuck... I need you inside me again." Jensen paused before frowning, he grabbed Jared's face and forced him to look him in the eyes.

"Don't you ever think that I'll just use you, Jared, you're the only one I can even get hard for anymore. You're the only one I want, the only one I crave. I'm gonna make you see how much I've truly missed you in these two years." Jensen said before lifting Jared onto the bathroom counter, Jared immediately spread his legs as he looked at Jensen with a desperate look. "Jensen..." he whined, his whines and whimpers went straight to Jensen's cock. "Gonna fuck you, gonna make you cum so hard baby. Fuck I've missed you." He groaned out, hovering over Jared as he began to ravage Jared's mouth with his tongue. Hastily undoing both of their pants, as much as he wanted to fuck Jared without any clothes, he knew they couldn't spend all night in Jeffrey's bathroom fucking as Jensen would like. "Gotta be quick baby, okay? Hilarie and rest will be wondering where we are." Jared nodded and pulled away slightly from the kiss. "Then stop teasing Jen and fuck me until I can't breathe," Jensen growled once more and began to devour the body he was given. "God, you're still such a fucking whore for my cock." He groaned out before wrapping Jared's legs around his waist. "Suck my fingers baby, make sure to get them nice and wet so I can make sure you're prepared from my cock." Jared nodded and happily took Jensen's fingers into his mouth, sucking them as if it was Jensen's cock. "Fuck baby... after this, I'm gonna have to make sure your mouth still remembers me." Jared's hips began to buck up heavily as he begged to be fucked. "Please please please please please" he whimpered as he continued sucking Jensen's fingers. The begging is what had made Jensen pull his fingers out. "Fuck baby." He groaned out as he pushed the slick fingers into Jared. "Fuck, tight as before baby... I'm so glad you saved yourself for me slut."

"Please, just fuck me, Jensen. I need to feel you inside me." Jensen nodded as he pulled his fingers out of Jared and began to adjust himself against Jared's opening. "Ready baby?" Jared hastily nodded and Jensen slammed into him, Jared covered his mouth to try and cover his moans. Jensen pulled his hand off roughly. "No covering your mouth slut. I want to learn to be a good slut again and take my cock without making noises." Jared whined. "I can't-" "then we're gonna learn how to do that then won't we?" Jensen said in a low voice before he began to slam into Jared repeatedly leaving Jared a crying mess as he tried his best not to scream Jensen's name out. His fingers could never compare to Jensen's cock, they could never make him feel as full as Jensen did. The way his cock touched every part of him, roughly brushing against his prostate with each thrust, purposely trying his best to avoid it to make Jared whine more.

"Jensen Jensen Jensen..." Jared moaned out as he gripped onto Jensen's jacket, "please.. wanna come..." He whined, desperately trying to push himself onto Jensen's cock that was slamming into him. "Soon baby. Soon baby."Jared leaned his head against the cold mirror as he felt Jensen's cock fill him up with every thrust. "You wanna come baby? Huh? Wanna come?" Jared nodded desperately once again. "Then come." He growled out before slamming straight against Jared's prostate. "Fuck fuck fuck!" Jared whined out, Jensen shushed him as he continued slamming into him. "Not too loud baby." He said as Jared began to tighten around Jensen's cock, soon both of them reached their climaxes, trying their best to stay quiet as they panted. "Fuck Jensen..." Jared mumbled out "did you mean what you said before... or was it all just your hard-on talking...?" Jared asked with slight embarrassment, Jensen chuckled and pressed his lips against Jared's lightly. "I meant every word baby."

After they began getting dressed again, Jensen refused to let Jared clean up Jensen come inside him, wanting him to stay filled until they were alone once again.

"I love you, even if you're gross sometimes," Jared said as he walked out of the bathroom with a smirking Jensen. "You love it."

. . .