Chapter 1: 一
I love you
Don't leave me
You saw my messages last night
I forgive you everything
Please come back
I'm hurting do much
Thinking everything could have been different
It's been more than a week and still no answer
Please tell me to fuck off at least
You were the one leaving but I'm the one hurting
I love you
Seeing you with him is killing me
It's been more than two weeks now
You still didn't block my number
I saw you in the cafeteria his arms around you
It was like what we had never happened
Was it a dream ?
It must have been a nightmare for you
I still love you
Every little thing bring me back to you
I think I'm going mad
Please come back
I love you babe
Felix couldn't take it anymore, Jeongin had changed drastically since the break up with Hyunjin.
He didn't smile anymore, didn't laugh, his eyes didn't shine as much as usual, they always had that sad vibe now. He didn't eat properly and had lost hours of sleep.
He was a shadow of the old Yang Jeongin.
Felix had tried multiple times to make it understand it wasn't the end of the world. That love could be found somewhere else but Jeongin was stubborn.
He loved Hwang Hyunjin and Hwang Hyunjin only.
So Lee Felix had to take the matter into his hands, not wanting to see his best friend in such a state.
The answer to his problem was an app called "Back Door", he had got the idea from his room mate Changbin. The plan was simple, sign Jeongin up and get him to talk to a stranger to move on.
He didn't share the same dorm room as Jeongin unfortunately, but they still shared the same hallway.
After his last class of the day, a little after five, he decided it was time to invite himself over to the younger's room. Felix was kind of disappointed when he knocked on the door, Jeongin's roommate opened the door, a guy much taller than Felix himself, named Choi Beomgyu.
"Where is he ?" Felix asked, following Beomgyu inside. The Australian didn't have to wait much to have his answer.
Jeongin was sitting on his ugly brown couch, a large bag of Hot Cheetos nestled on his lap over the white blanket he was wrapped in. Felix internally winced, the white blaket didn't need those stupid staints.
"How long has he been like that ?"
"Since he came back from class, three hours ago." Beomgyu simply answered, he patted Felix's shoulder going back to his room, his work here was done.
Felix made his way in front of his friend, scoffing when he didn't even get a reaction. Jeongin was wearing a large black hoodie, surely one of Hwang Hyunjin. It made Felix's stomach hurt, he didn't like it one bit.
"Get up Yang Jeongin." He ordered with his scary deep voice.
Jeongin just ignored him, taking a handful of cheetos and shoving it in his mouth.
"Get off from this couch, take that stupid sweater off and let's go out." Felix tried again, naching the bag away from his hands.
Jeongin had his bottom lip between his teeth, he looked like he was ready to cry again.
"Hwang Hyunjin is a fucking asshole, he doesn't deserve your tears so stop it. Get his fucking sweater off of you and let's go out, Beomgyu is getting deperate seeing you like this and I agree with him."
"Fucking snitch." Jeongin laughed, tears in his eyes. "I love him Lix."
"I know bub." Felix signed, deciding to sit down next to his friend.
"He left me."
"He is a fucking idiot."
"He said he fell out of love." Jeongin was crying now, nuzzling the stupid sweater.
"Let it out bub." Felix encouraged.
"How did he manage to do that ? I still love him like crazy. I just wanna ask him how he did it so I don't feel like shit anymore. It hurts every time I see him with his new boyfriend."
"Innie, you are only 21 and Hwang Hyunjin was your first love, first means he isn't the last."
"I thought he was the last."
Felix didn't add anything, deciding on letting his younger friend eat his bag of snack and watch a Netflix show, still clutching the stupid sweater. Back Door long forgotten.
So how did it go ?
With Innie ?
Any progress ?
He passed out crying in the asshole's sweater
I'm going to beat him up
I'm so fucking mad
Innie is broken
I don't even know where to start
Let's go clubbing
Let's take him out of his dorm and meet new people
Saturday night ?
"The Tortoise and the Hare" was a popular club in downtown, it was Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin favourite place to drink and have fun.
Jeongin was still moody, not even wanting to dress up but he eventually had to when Felix glared at him and pushed him inside his bathroom with an outfit he had chosen himself, a tight pair of leather pants with a sheer black shirt.
Jeongin already hated it.
When he stared at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but ask himself if Hyunjin would have liked this look.
Felix took his sweet time, putting foundation and concealer trying to erase all his sleepless nights and crying sessions. He had to admit his friend was a real sunshine, doing everything to cheer him up all week. Jeongin could try putting on a smile for him at least.
"It's really pretty Felix." He complimented once his make up was over.
The older thanked him with one of his famous smiles and it was time to go.
The club was busy tonight. It seemed like every student in Seoul had the same idea to go out tonight. Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin were at the bar, ordering their drink. Jeongin liked sweet cocktails, he could get drunk easily and liked the fruity taste.
Jeongin got his drink while the bartender was trying to score Felix's number, failing miserably without surprise.
Felix wasn't easy to get by when he didn't let you.
Jeongin was on the dancefloor, two drinks in, already feeling the effects of it when he saw him.
He was here laughing with his friends, sitting at a table with his new boyfriend on his lap. Jeongin felt his heart break one more time.
It should have been him.
Jeongin didn't know where his friends were but he needed to get out of here fast before he made a mistake. His breathing started to become irregular, he pushed through the crowd of people making his anxiety spike and made his way to the balcony.
Jeongin's grip on the railing made his knuckles turn white, it hurt.
His heart was bleeding and he was having a panic attack alone on the balcony of a stupid night club, he wanted to laugh at himself.
"Are you ok ?" He heard from his left, he turned his head. A man dressed in black, shirt open almost all the way and looking like a sin, smoking his cigarette.
Was he ok ? He didn't even have that answer.
"I do-n't k-now."
Sexy man let his cigarette fall on the ground, stepped on it and made his way to Jeongin. "Breath slowly. No need to rush."
Jeongin took a deep breath then another, trying to breath in a more regular pattern. He succeeded, letting go of the railing and looking at the stranger once again.
"Thanks." He smiled gratefully.
The stranger was really breathtaking, he looked so handsome under the moonlight.
He seemed like he wanted to add something but Jeongin was already gone, rushing to find Felix or Seungmin but almost lost his balance when he crashed into someone.
"I'm sor- Oh, Jeongin."
Great, he had crashed into Hwang Hyunjin.
Jeongin didn't even try to talk, choosing to talk to him already walking away, Hyunjin stopped him gripping his arm.
"Please wait." He begged and oh, he was drunk.
"Let go." Jeongin said, trying to stay strong.
"Get your hand off."
"I think he said to take your hand off." And here he was, the sexy man from the balcony.
The man took Jeongin's hand in making him stand behind him.
Hyunjin looked furious, he had no right to. He was the one who threw him away, breaking his heart so why was he acting like this.
"Get the fuck away dude." Hyunjin said, gripping the man's collar.
The man only scoffed. "He doesn't want to talk to you so give up."
Jeongin's drunk state was making it difficult to keep up. He didn't want to talk with Hyunjin.
"Innie !" He heard someone call.
Jeongin rushed into Felix's arms, breaking the fight. "Let's go home please." He didn't want to be here anymore.
"Hwang Hyunjin what the fuck." Seungmin groaned close behind Felix. "Are you fucking insane ?"
Jeongin gripped Seungmin's hand. "Don't pick up a fight, I just want to go home."
Seungmin feeling his friend wasn't comfortable didn't push it further.
Jeongin woke up with a hell of a headache.
He didn't remember much from the night before after his second drink plus the soju they drank once they got back from the club before passing out on the floor of his own dorm room.
"Hi sleepy head." Beomgyu greeted him from their small kitchen, sipping on his coffee mug.
"My head." Jeongin whined, pulling himself up from the floor.
Beomgyu like the angel is he gave him some water and pain medicine. "Your welcome."
"Where are Lix and Min ?" He asked after taking the white pill.
"They went home a little while ago, Felix has classes in the afternoon."
"Oh right." Jeongin still had schedule difficulties. "I'm going to take my shower."
He went to his bedroom, his body aching everywhere and found his phone charging on his bedside table.
One new e-mail !
From: backdoor.app xxxx.kr
To : inyang xxxx.kr
Thank you for joining us ! Your profile matched with our admin Chris ! You can take a look at his profile and message him now !
Hope to see you soon on Back Door !
Jeongin stared at the message during a long time, wondering what the hell was Back Door and more inportantly what did he fucking do last night.
He didn't even have a single clue.
Jeongin really wanted to speak to Felix to see if he had any clue about the mysterious email he had received this morning but the older was busy with his club activities so he needed to wait.
He had tried to search Back Door on Google and found out it was a like a discord server to make friends with a quiz to match you with your first one.
Jeongin didn't remember the password he had typed so his investigation stopped here. He really needed to rest after the awful night he had.
He didn't remember much from last night and didn't even want to try to.
Ignorance is bliss.
He spent his entire day lazing around, after his long deserved nap. He decided to join Beomgyu to watch Netflix in their small living room.
"Gyu, do you know an app called Back Door ?" Jeongin asked eventually halfway through the third episode of Rick and Morty.
"Back Door ? Like the chatting app everyone is talking about around the campus." Beomgyu said.
And oh, Jeongin didn't know that.
"Do you know how it works ?"
Jeongin didn't want to tell him he had signed up last night when he was drunk but well it was not a porn site after all.
"I got an email thanking me for signing up and I think I did it when I was drunk." He finally explained.
Beomgyu had the audacity to laugh in his face. “Show me or I won’t believe you.”
Jeongin groaned, taking his phone out of his back pocket, unlocking it and opening the yellow app. “Here it is.” He shoved his phone in his friend’s face.
“The passeword is missing.” Beomgyu took note. “Do you remember it ?”
“Not really.” Jeongin signed, resting his head on the back of the couch.
"Let's try to find it.” Beomgyu decided, already typing.
They tried all sorts of things during half an hour, Jeongin’s pet back at home in Busan name, his birthday, Felix’s name, his mom’s name, his generic password he used every time, Seungmin’s birthday and Beomgyu’s.
Everytime it was wrong, Jeongin was starting to lose his mind and was already searching how to change his password when Beomgyu got an idea.
“Try something related to him, the first thing you think about.”
Jeongin bit his lower lip, anxious and typed. “hyunjin4419” in the white rectangle.
‘Welcome ! Loading...’
“Oh my god ! I’m such a genius !” Beomgyu screamed next to him jumping up and down on the poor cushion. “I’m gonna tell Soobin !”
Jeongin shushed him. “No telling your 6'1″ feet boyfriend anything.”
“But Innie…” Beomgyu pouted.
“Shut up and look.” Jeongin moved his phone so they could both look at it.
Jeongin had the Chris guy in his request, he pressed on the username to see his profile :
Friend with half the people living on earth
24 years old
“Bro he seems so aesthetic.” Jeongin couldn’t help but slap the back of his room mate’s head.
“But he has no pic.”
“Detail.” Beomgyu gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, standing up.
“Where are you going ?” Jeongin asked, picking up the blanket from the floor.
“Soobin’s dorm.” He said sticking out his tongue. “I’m not coming back tonight.”
Gross, Jeongin judged internally.
He still had to figure out what to do with Chris.
Seungmin didn’t mind assisting the dance club’s practice time. On the contrary, he liked it even if his sunbae Lee Minho forced him to be here.
It had suddenly become less fun once Hyunjin had broken up with his best friend. He had to watch the bastard laughing and having a good time doing something he was really good at while his poor Innie was crying in his bedroom.
It was hard but Minho was his hyung, he helped him at every chance he got and Seungmin wasn’t going to let an idiot bring his mood down.
The dance team was currently working on a new choreo and Seungmin was half looking at Minho while typing a text to Felix to ask when he was free to hang out. Felix answered with a simple “at six :) let go to Innie's” and Seungmin immediately agreed.
Looking at Hyunjin now, trying to follow Minho’s steps through the mirror, Seungmin couldn’t forget his behavior from the club.
He clearly still couldn’t move on from his best friend, so why had he broken up with him ?
Seungmin’s doubts were confirmed when Hyunjin accosted him at the end of the club next to the front door. “How is Jeongin going ?” He had asked then.
“Do you really think you are in any position to ask that ?” How could someone be so bold, Seungmin tried to keep his cool.
“I worry about him okay.” Hyunjin justified himself.
Seungmin scoffed. “You lost that right when you left him more than a month ago.”
“You broke him you fucking jerk, of couse he isn’t okay.” Seungmin cut him off immediately. “He loves you Hyunjin and I thought you would be good to him and treat him right but I was wrong and now my best friend is hurting.”
Seungmin introduced his new friend from college Hwang Hyunjin, to his childhood friend, Yang Jeongin at his annual Halloween party.
Jeongin didn’t have a big age difference with them, less than a year but he was still in high school so Seungmin didn’t see him that much anymore but they were still texting each other and had irregular hang outs.
“You friend is so cute” Hyunjin had said that day and slowly Hyunjin became a part of Jeongin’s life too.
He had asked the younger out on their graduation day and they started dating when Jeongin got into college.
And now halfway through Seungmin third year and Jeongin’s second everything was messed up.
“Please Seungmin, you are my friend too-”
“I’m not so sure about that now.” He mumbled, he couldn’t look at Hyunjin in the same way anymore. “I should respect your choice and let go but I can’t right now not when Jeongin is involved.”
“Seungmin, he deserved the truth. I didn’t do it on purpose.” Hyunjin pleaded.
“But you fucking did Hyunjin ! You already have a new boyfriend like nothing happened.” Seungmin argued, Hyunjin getting on his nerves once again. Hyunjin cursed. “Fuck Seungmin, I couldn’t just not be with him anymore.”
“Why ?” Seungmin asked, it wanted the truth now.
“I just don’t love him anymore.” Hyunjin said and Seungmin saw the lie in his eyes.
“You are lying, you still love him.” Seungmin scoffed and pushed further. “I saw it in the club and I’m seeing it again right now.”
“I don’t.” Hyunjin lied again and Seungmin had enough.
“You still do but believe me, if you try something I’m going to murder you.” Seungmin threatened. He threw a last murderous glare and turned his back to him, deciding to go to see Jeongin.
Mid way through, he was reminded he had forgotten to tell Minho goodbye.
“So are you gonna text him ?”
Jeongin looked at Seungmin like he had insulted him. “I don’t really know.” He pouted, settling back against the couch. “Do you think I should ?”
“I think you should.” Beomgyu screamed from behind them in the small kitchen followed with an “agree” from Felix next to him. The both of them had been cooking dinner for half an hour now.
“What if he is a creep ?”
“Innie please.” Seungmin groaned.
“Changbinnie told me the app is safe.” Felix informed, returning back to cutting vegetables.
“I don’t know if I should.” Jeongin shyly confessed.
Seungmin ruffled his hair lightly. “Make a new friend bub.” He encouraged.
“Why are you all forming an alliance against me ?” The younger one complained.
“We just want you to be happy…” Seungmin said, hoping the truth could help. “You are not fine Jeongin.”
“I’m fine.” Jeongin lied through his teeth. “100% fine.”
Felix walked over to them sitting down on Jeongin’s other side. “You are still wearing one of his sweater bub.” He took note.
Jeongin stiffened next to him but didn’t add anything knowing Felix was right. “Don’t you think Hyunjin is gonna come back ?” He asked playing with his fingers.
“Do you want him to ?” Felix asked back hoping the answer was no.
“I’m foolish, aren’t I ?” Jeongin said bitterly. “If he knocked at the front door right and asked me to forgive him and take him back I would.”
“Oh Innie.” Felix whispered, passing his arms on his shoulder and cuddling him. “Try at least, chatting with someone new can be a good start.”
“Exactly.” Seungmin agreed. “Text that Chris guy to take you mind of off Hyunjin, take care of yourself and try to heal”
“And I will be alright ?”
“And you will be alright.”
I nnie <3 opened the chatroom.
Chan is coming next chapter !
Chapter 3: 三
Innie <3 opened the chatroom.
It was already Wednesday and Jeongin had no answer, the Chris guy still hadn't opened his text.
Jeongin wanted to send one more but he was worried it would pass out as being desperate or something. He didn't want that so he went to his classes like everything was fine, ate at the cafeteria with Felix and Seungmin and got back home.
On that particular day, he had decided to go spend some time in a cat café not too far away from his university.
It was ten minutes past five in the afternoon so it was a bit crowded but Jeongin eventually found a table in a corner after ordering an iced americano with chocolate macaroons.
"Here is your order- Oh Jeongin." The waiter stopped in his tracks, Jeongin smiled at him.
"Hi Minho hyung." He greeted him, a little bit embarrassed. He did know the older worked here but had hoped it wasn't his shift.
Minho was Hyunjin's senior, not his. They had met at one of the dance department gatherings. Minho was someone really likeable and trustworthy, Felix and Seungmin liked him as well but they hadn't seen each other since the break up with Hyunjin.
Minho placed the tray down on the table. "Let me just ask for my break, it's been a long time since we talked." He said going back to the counter.
Jeongin couldn't help but feel anxious, Minho was still Hyunjin's friend not his. The older sat down in front of him. "So how are you ?" He asked.
"I'm good, hyung." Jeongin answered, taking a sip of his drink. "What about you ?"
"Being a junior is killing me." Minho complained. "But I love dancing so it's worth it."
Jeongin gave him a small smile. "Don't forget to invite me to your first show."
"Sure Jeongin." Minho said, taking his phone from his back pocket. "You need to come to the dance department recital at the end of month."
Minho showed him the flyer on his phone making Jeongin bit the inside of his cheek. "I don't think I should."
"Jeongin, Hyunjin should be the one hiding not you." Minho said with a frown.
"But he isn't, worse, he is already with someone new." Jeongin argued, playing with his food.
Minho took his hand softly making him look up. "He may be my friend and junior but it doesn't mean what he did was okay. I'm here for you Jeongin, so be here for me too and come to the recital."
"Hyunjin is dumb and I'm his hyung so he has nothing to say." Minho cut off.
Jeongin got back home after the cat café with his heart a little lighter, Minho was still his friend and it was a big step forward already. There was no Beomgyu in sight so he went to his bedroom, changed into a comfy outfit and decided to laze around on his phone.
Chris didn't answer right ?
So come entertain me
Do I look like a clown ?
You act like one
I just saw Minho hyungie by the way
He told you I fought with Hyunjin didn't he ?
I think you just exposed yourself
You are no help Lee Felix
What did you do ?
Nothing just the usual
So you screamed at him + threatened him
You didn't right ?
He deserved every second of it
I can't believe you
He is a jerk
A dumb one in top of that
Moving on before I lose my mind
Minho hyung invited me to the dance recital
He didn't invite me TT
Changbin hyung told me he also got an invite
So you are in your dorm
Can I come ?
Are you really that lonely to be a third wheel ?
It's that or knocking on Soobin hyung's door
Beomgyu would hate you
You both are ungrateful
And for the last time Bin hyung is taken
I'm sure of it
Do you remember Han Jisung ?
Vocal major Han Jisung ?
Introverted cutie ?
Hyunjin's nemesis Han Jisung ?
We should invite him to go out with us sometime
That would be so awkward
We are not friends ?
So you do have a crush on Changbin
And you do have a crush on Minho hyung
I don't have a crush on Bin
And I don't like Lee Minho
You both are lying to yourselves
I'm coming in 10 Lix
Jeongin was still on his phone one hour later but this time on Felix's couch, the older was busy reviewing a book for one of his classes on the coffee table while sitting on the floor. Jeongin was killing time scrolling through his Tumblr when he got a new text.
Sorry for the wait
"Felix !" Jeongin screamed startling the older.
"What ! You almost killed me-"
Jeongin clumsily slid down on the floor next to Felix, knocking him in the ribs shutting him up. "Chris answered ! Look !"
Felix took Jeongin's phone and started typing, making the younger one panic, Jeongin tried to take his phone back but the older man backed away, turning his back from him.
"Felix what the fuck !" Jeongin shouted annoyed, he straddled the older's lap trying to get back the phone not hearing the front door opening.
Changbin almost dropped the grocery. "What is going here ?" He asked making both of them freeze.
"Hyung-" Felix cut himself off not knowing how to explain his situation. He pushed Jeongin off of him, the younger fell on his back and hit his head.
"Shit." Jeongin cursed, he got back on his feet and glared at Felix. "Seriously hyung !"
Felix only shrugged standing up too and taking the grocery bags from Changbin to put away everything.
"You okay Innie ?" Changbin asked taking a seat next to him on the couch.
"Yes hyung." Jeongin smiled, he really liked his friend's room mate.
They got along well, Jeongin was sure he was on Changbin's dongsaeng list from all the times he crashed their dorm.
Jeongin unlocked his phone ready to face the damages done by Lee Felix.
I forgive you ^-^
But I really waited all week
And damn, Jeongin was really going to kill Lee Felix, hopefully Chris had not seen his answer yet.
"I need to go Changbin hyung." Jeongin excused himself standing up.
"But you just got here-"
"Beomgyu needs me at home." Jeongin lied easily, he waved at Felix's confused face and made his way down the corridor to his flat.
Beomgyu wasn't back so he went to his room and flopped on his bed going back his phone and wow Chris had answered.
Are you that eager to talk to me ?
I just need someone to talk to
You aren't one of those crazy girl are you ?
I just need someone to talk before I make a mistake
What kind of mistake ?
A life threatening one ?
No not at all
Texting someone I should forget
Oh thats pretty sad
Tell me everything
The wound is still fresh
(can I call you that ?)
You seem sad
You can call me Innie
And I think I am
But I don't want to be anymore
That where I come
I swear I'm going to make you happy
Jeongin woke up late the next day, meaning he wasn't on time for class.
He almost missed his nine am English class but made it on time, skipping breakfast and not doing his hair, so at lunchtime, he was particularly hungry, and his head looked like a mess. Jeongin was glad to found Felix already sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria.
"Hi, Lix." He greeted dropping in the chair in front of him.
"Hello, Innie," Felix said back, smiling at him. "Hungry ?"
"So so so hungry." Jeongin groaned dramatically.
"Go get something then." Felix waved him off and Jeongin didn't need more to get in line.
The queue was long, with many students waiting for their turn. Jeongin took a tray and filled it with a salmon club sandwich, a small carton of banana milk, an apple, and cookies. He decided he was really hungry.
When it was his turn to pay, he cursed himself. His bag was at the table with Felix meaning his student ID to pay for his meal was there too. Jeongin was trapped, the line behind him only seemed to get longer, and Felix was busy looking at his phone.
"I'm sorry, I forgot my ID." He said totally panicked, he heard some groans behind him and felt his anxiety spike.
He really thought about giving up his tray and hide forever in the library since his phone was also in his bag.
"Here," Jeongin heard from behind, "I'm paying for him."
His ex-boyfriend had saved his ass, he cursed himself once more. this was already so embarrassing.
Jeongin took his tray, putting it on an empty nearby. "You didn't need to do that." He said, turning around to face his ex.
"You looked like you were going to pass out." Hyunjin teased, he looked so good, his blonde hair tied in a messy bun.
Jeongin frowned not liking his tone. "I don't need your charity."
"I just wanted to help you, relax." Hyunjin defended himself.
"Do not do it again," Jeongin said trying to be as cold as possible.
Jeongin took his tray and started to leave but stopped mid-way. "You are wearing my shirt." Hyunjin took note.
He looked at himself and he was indeed wearing one of his ex-boyfriend's shirts. Jeongin didn't add anything and made his way to Felix not so hungry anymore. He hated it, he was weak, Hwang Hyunjin only had to tell him two words and he was breaking down.
Jeongin didn't tell anything to Felix, slid down the tray in front of him, took his bag, and walked all the way to his dorm.
Beomgyu was here too, eating at the table with his boyfriend, Soobin.
"Hi, guys." He greeted, taking a water bottle from the fridge and chugging it down.
"Hi Innie." Beomgyu said taking a sip of his water too. "Why is Felix sending messages asking if you went back home ?"
"I kind of stormed out on him," Jeongin mumbled embarrassed.
"Yang Jeongin!" Beomgyu scolded, frowning. "Why-"
"Calm down, Hyunjin spoke to me and I couldn't be here anymore," Jeongin explained, taking a seat next to him.
"Are you okay ?" Soobin asked like the angel he is.
"Yes." Jeongin nodded, "Just tell Felix I'm fine."
Beongyu just did that, then nagged some more. "What did he say ?"
"He paid for my lunch and said I was wearing his shirt." Jeongin explained stealing a piece of chicken from Beomgyu's plate.
"Here," Beomgyu filled a plate for him and gave him a pair of chopsticks. "Soobin cooked so it's a bit bland."
"Hey!" The older protested, Beomgyu just made a kissy face at him
Jeongin ate two plates of Soobin's chicken pasta. Beomgyu had lied they were delicious. His roommate had an afternoon class so they were both gone after doing the dishes.
He decided to send a text to Chris before doing anything else. He seemed nice and Jeongin needed a distraction.
Are you busy?
No I just finished work
You can call me a geek
I'm a coding genius
That's pretty surprising
We want to add a new thingy to Backdoor
So I'm working on it
That's pretty cool
You still didn't tell me how it works
How what works?
Are you texting people all day and night?
You have quite the reputation
Everyone speaks of Backdoor
around the campus
So you must be busy
I don't spend my time texting
I still have to live 😌
So how does it works ?
We are 3 behind it
And we can only manage 3 or less
people at the same time
We don't really hide our identities
But we check the information of our potential users
Backdoor is still a baby otherwise
So how do you see the ones you
talk to ?
Clients ? People who need help ?
I just try to be friendly and be here
That's very kind of you
Also why is your name Chris ?
Because it's my name silly
I have an Aussie friend too
What's his name ?
A cutie sunshine ball
His name seems familiar
But wait you didn't tell me your major
I'm a Social Sciences major
And you ?
Take a guess
A computer science major ?
You just said you were a geek
Okay but I'm good a something else
Being annoying ?
Try again brat
You are really bad at this game
I think I'm starting to hate you
Don't hate me baby
Are you flirting with me right now ?
Maybe I am
Jeongin smiled at his phone as he threw himself on his bed, Chris was really someone nice, taking on his precious time to help others, he made him feel better.
Felix had invited Jeongin to take a coffee in the afternoon the next day and of course Jeongin didn't say no to free stuff.
They were at their favorite table in the cat café next to the university where Minho worked at, he wasn't here today. Felix was talking about his psychology course and Jeongin was half-listening, half-zoning out, patting the gray cat next to his chair.
Seungmin had his club activities so they were only together.
"Innie ? You here ?"
"Yes," He lied, not wanting to start a fight.
"Changbin hyung told me there is a party Friday, are you up for it ?"
Jeongin was really bad at partying and the recent events at the club were solid proof, but Felix was a social butterfly and would have made him go anyway. "Yes, let's go."
"Yes !" Felix cheered, taking a small piece of his red velvet cake.
"You are going to choke." Jeongin said, trying to calm him down a little.
Felix stopped jumping on his chair. "So did Chris make any move ?" He teased.
"Hyung !" Jeongin cried out, "Don't say things like that."
"What ? You are still talking right ?"
Jeongin nodded. "Yes we are but he is just doing his job."
"That's good, you never know what could happen." Felix teased, earning a well-deserved slap on his hand in Jeongin's opinion.
"Something is going to happen."
Saturday came as fast as a lightning strike, Felix had chosen Jeongin's outfit as usual before getting himself dressed.
So Jeongin was dressed in a black and white striped shirt and tight-fitting pants with a beret on top of his head. A simple look to kill, Felix had told him.
They were going with Soobin and Beomgyu, the couple had also been invited. Soobin was pretty popular on the campus so it wasn't a surprise. Jeongin was sure half of the university was going to be there anyway.
Meaning probably Hyunjin, and he didn't want to see him.
Felix and Jeongin joined Seungmin and Minho when they got inside the crowded house while Beomgyu and Soobin joined their friends.
"You look good Innie !" Minho complimented him handing him a beer.
Jeongin thanked him, taking a look around, even in a crowded place with shitty light he could spot his ex-boyfriend chatting with his own friends in the living room.
Seungmin followed his gaze and frowned. "Forget about him and have fun."
Jeongin was just going to do that, he drank three beers before Felix dragged him on the dancefloor, jamming to some EDM songs.
They were having fun, drinking and dancing like no one was around, he excused himself to get some fresh air when his head started to spin too much.
He was all alone on the balcony, taking a deep breath of the cold air when his mind took him back to Chris.
He was surely here tonight too.
You are at the party aren't you ?
Of course I am
Don't tell me you are here too
Of course I am
Are you making fun of me ?
Me ? Never
So we both are at the same place
Let's meet up ?
I have a better idea
Let's play hide and seek
Hope you liked it !
Jeongchan is coming I promise, I posted my one-shot book on AO3 so if you want a Jeongchan or a Hyunin one-shot you can ask me there (I'm also doing various other ships so don't be shy)
On a more serious note, I hope you are all well; the Hyunjin situation is a difficult and complex one so let's be strong.
See you soon for the next chapter.
Chapter 5: 五
Jeongin was hiding.
Chris had promised to find him so he was hiding, he had no idea why this stupid idea had poped up in his head. He felt stupid, clutching his knees to his chest in an unknown closet. Jeongin had his phone resting against his knees and he was just waiting.
The game had started innocently, Chan had no idea what he looked like so finding him in two hundred people was nearly impossible.
Jeongin was clearly drunk, his mind took too long to function normally.
He could go back on his words and tell Chan he wasn't ready, that he was just joking. Only one week had gone by since they started talking, there was no way Jeongin was ready to face him.
Jeongin gave Chan the most abstract description of him possible, a fox looking male with black hair. He didn't know where Chan would go with that.
Not in the closet where he was hiding , Jeongin prayed.
He was starting to be anxious, Chan hadn't sent any texts back and his friends had made no move to find him either.
Should he go ? Should he just-
The bedroom's door was pushed open, slamming against the wall making Jeongin's heart jump in his chest.
Someone is here, Someone is here, Someone is here , Jeongin repeated in his mind like a broken record.
Then he heard…a moan, a very loud one.
"Be patient baby." An unknown voice mumbled, shuffling noises following.
"Ah~" The whiny voice said again, "Please."
Jeongin was drunk but not dumb, he knew this voice, that stupid loud voice annoying the shit out of him.
Jeongin decided he had enough when he heard a slap, no way he was staying here witnessing Beomgyu call Soobin daddy.
He counted to three in his head, before opening the closet door loudly, startling the two on the bed.
"Shit !" Soobin cursed, pulling his pants up awkwardly. "Jeongin ?" He frowned at his boyfriend's roommate.
"Surprise !" Jeongin said, putting his arms up in the air for additional effect.
Beomgyu scoffed from the bed, Jeongin peeked behind Soobin, his friend still had his boxer on. He was laying on the bed knee up, head resting on his palm like he was trying to seduce Jeongin.
"Yah Yang Jeongin how dare you cock block me !" Jeongin couldn't believe him, was he saying that for real.
"Want to join ?" He teased, getting an embarrassed noise from Soobin and a gasp from Jeongin.
"I think I should go." Jeongin stuttered, ears pink from embarrassment.
Soobin nodded aggressively, pushing him to the door, both of them ignored Beomgyu crackling in the background.
"Talk to you tomorrow or maybe never." Soobin said not meeting his eyes, closing the door in Jeongin's face.
Jeongin groaned cursing his friend in his mind, typical Beomgyu.
He went down the corridor, eyes fixed on his phone. So concentrated he bumped into someone making his phone fall flat on the floor.
"I'm sorry I-" The stranger cut himself off. "You are that cutie from the club."
Jeongin frowned, not remembering seeing such a handsome man the night he had gone to The Tortoise and The Hare. "Am I ?"
"You totally are, couldn't forget someone like you." The guy smiled and even his smile was sweet, he bent down and picked Jeongin’s phone off the floor. “Here.” He handed it to him.
Jeongin didn’t know what to say so he settled for an awkward smile. “I need to go-”
“Yang !” He heard from the end of the corridor. “Where the fuck were you !” Was the only thing he got before Felix made his way to him throwing himself against his chest.
Jeongin was indeed drunk but Felix looked totally out of it. He supported him the best he could, sliding his arm on the small of his back. The stranger was still here looking at them like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
“I’m sorry for bumping into you.” Jeongin said one last time before walking away with a clingy Felix.
Chris had gone MIA so he was disappointed but also relieved, it didn’t know what would happen if he met him one day.
In reality, Chris had indeed found him but as ‘Yang’ not as ‘Innie’
Just woke up and Lix is already screaming
Save me please
Where are U anyways
I didn't see you at the party last night
Crashed at Minho's
It just happened
You two are talking without me
Thats disrespecting the friendship pact
We were 10 bro
A paper with glued pink glitter doesn't matter
How could you
I remember crying so hard that day
Lix got glitter in your eyes
I was in so much pain
Innie's mom got so upset I thought our friendship would end here
Be right back
Its been 5 minutes
What is happening
I swear to God
He fucking kissed me
Wrong I smooched his cheek softly
You needed a lesson
I want my kisses too
No no NO
Coming in 10
Jeongin’s Sunday was short between waking up at almost eleven, taking a long hour to sober up and take some medicine for his hangover while nursing Felix in an even worse state. He ordered take out, two big pepperoni pizzas and they both settled on the couch waiting for Seungmin.
Jeongin turned on his phone, long forgotten since last night, to a dozen notifications, some emails, some likes on his last pic he posted but also two new messages from Chris sent this morning at eight.
I think you won hide and seek last night
Tried to find you but failed
Did you even sleep ?
Oh look who is awake
It you start calling me that
I’m calling you a owl
Did you miss the important point ?
I’m saying you are beautiful
Also don’t make fun of my insomnia
You have insomnia ?
How come ?
I’m an overthinker
Always reflecting and analysing things
It keep me awake at night
That’s pretty bad
Sleep is important
Thats why you wake up at noon
Can you try to sleep for me ?
What ? How ?
Maybe not right now but tonight
Try to lay down and sleep for me
I guess I can try
Tell me if it works okay !
What do I get if I sleep ?
Having a 10 minutes eyes shut doesn't count
A full 5 hours ?
Are you serious right now ?
A eight hours sleep or nothing
But what do I get ?
What do you want ?
A little bit more informations on you
I know nothing about you
I’m not interesting
Of course you are
To me you are
You just do
You know nothing about me too but you are
worried about me
You are fun to talk to
You just have something attracting me to get to
Backdoor first goal was to help people build their
trust in themselves to make them understand they
No one told me that
That I matter
You just do
So let me understand you
Let me know more about you
What do you want to know
Why did you sign up ?
Why are you hurting ?
Why did you sign up ?
Why are you hurting ?
Sleep for 8 hours and I will answer
Just like that
I need to go i think my roommate is back
Talk to you tomorrow
Beomgyu was really back when Jeongin left his room, he was making himself a sandwich, Jeongin concluded, deciding to join.
“Make one for me too. “ He asked cutely, sitting up on the counter.
Beomgyu puffed his cheeks. “You have hands.” He called back but Jeongin eventually got his sandwich at the end. They settled down on their small table, Beomgyu looked as bad at him, dark circles under his tired eyes, dressed in a big white hoodie, surely one of Soobin.
“I’m sorry for last night.” Beomgyu said, taking a bite. “I was totally drunk, sorry if I crossed a line.”
“It’s not everyday your roommate asks you to have a threesome with his boyfriend.” Jeongin said playfully, embarrassing Beomgyu some more.
He groaned at the words. “I was really out of it, Soobin scolded me so bad. I thought I really pushed him to his limit.”
“What ?” Jeongin asked surprised, Soobin never got angry.
“Last night when you left the room, he got angry with me. He said I really messed up and was inconsiderate to you.” Beomgyu explained.
“I’m not mad Gyu, you didn’t mess up or anything.” Jeongin reassured him the best he could. “You know me enough by now.”
“That’s what I told Soobin, but you know how polite he is.”
“I will talk to him if you want” Jeongin offered, “I don’t want my OTP to break off or something.”
“Don’t worry, he isn’t getting rid of me that easily.” Beomgyu said cheerfully.
“You really love him don’t you ?” The older asked back even if he knew the answer.
“He is my boyfriend, of course dumbass.” Beomgyu blushed but quickly came back to himself. “And you how is it going ?
“With Chris ? Did he send a pic ?”
“No, not yet.”
“A dick pic maybe-”
“Yah Choi Beomgyu-”
“Oh I see, you totally saw his dick-”
“CHOI BEOMGYU.” He screamed at his face, blood rushing to his ears.
Jeongin’s sunday ended with him running after his dumb room mate, threatening him with a broom to shut his loud mouth close.
Jeongin’s Monday morning is pretty dead, he was two classes before joining Seungmin and Felix for lunch, surprisingly Changbin was here too along with a small blonde haired male Jeongin recognized as Han Jisung.
He didn’t know him that well, he only knew his age, the same as his besties and that Changbin was protective of him.
“Hi guys !” He greeted, sitting down with his tray.
“Hi Innie !” He sat down next to Seungmin, just across Jisung so it was quite awkward.
“Hi I’m Jisung,” The blonde male introduced himself. “Vocal major.”
“I'm Jeongin, my roommate is a vocal major too.” He smiled, taking his chopsticks and digging in his meal.
“Choi Beomgyu right ?”
Jeongin choked on his noodles. “How did you know ?” He asked.
“I’m friends with him, he mentioned you once.” Jisung explained, filling a glass with water and giving it to him.
Jeongin thanked him, looking at his best friends, why were they so quiet ? Changbin and Jisung didn’t seem to mind in their own little world, Jeongin thought he was going to lose it when the older one fed Jisung meat with his own chopsticks.
Was Felix right ? Were they really dating ?
“How come both of you decided to eat with us ?” He asked, failing to hide his curiosity.
“Minho hyung told us he wanted to talk to us.” Seungmin answered for them. “ And he is not even here.”
“What are you-”
“Hi guys !” Minho rushed to them, taking a seat at the head of the table, “Sorry I’m late, I was at the dance club meeting.”
“It’s okay hyung.” Felix spoke up for the first time since Jeongin got here, “What did you want to tell us ?”
“Right I will tell you now, the dance club needs money for the recital so we want to organize a masked ball to raise some money.” Minho explained. “I really need your help guys.”
“But why us ?” Seungmin asked, “There are enough people in the dance team to help.”
“I need Innie to do the posters since he is in the art club, Ji to be the DJ, Changbin, Felix and you can help me with decorations and food.” Minho argued back. “The dance team is going to the simple tasks like placing the tables, hanging the lightnings, giving out flyers but as the dance team captain I need to do the thinking so please help me.”
“Fine.” Jeongin agreed easily, “I will help you hyung.”
“But Innie, Hyunjin is in the fucking dance team.” Seungmin frowned, wanting to avoid his friend being hurt again.
“I will be fine Minnie.” Jeongin tried to reassure his friend but obviously lied.
“I accept to be the DJ, but I have to go, Channie hyung is waiting for me.” Jisung excused himself. “I was glad to meet you all.” He said to the three best friends.
“See you all later.” Changbin smiled too, following behind Jisung. Jeongin couldn’t help but look at Felix, the older didn’t look good.
"You okay Felix ?" Seungmin asked his friend, sensing his mood shift too.
"I'm fine." He said but Jeongin didn't believe him, Felix was lying.
I'm not okay
Jisung and Bin are surely dating
You actually like him ?
He acted so different today with Jisung
He doesn't act like that with me
Don’t you think you are jealous right now ?
I'm just feeling so bad
It's like 6pm and Changbin is still outside surely with Jisung
I will come over okay
Where is Innie ?
I need my baby too
I think it's time for his art club
I should ask Beomgyu if he is at home
You can try but he isn’t
Fine but let’s do a sleepover tonight
Invasion at Jeongin’s ?
That’s why you are my friend
Best friend ?
“I’m home,” Jeongin screamed, kicking off his shoes at the door carelessly, he wasn’t surprised to see Seungmin, Felix and Beomgyu squeezed on the couch. The three of them were focused on the TV screen.
“Innie !” Felix greeted back patting the arm of the couch. “Come, we were waiting for you.”
Jeongin made his way to them, sitting down on the ugly couch half across Felix’s lap. He took his phone in his jacket scrolling through his notifications, he felt a little sadness, no message from Chris.
He really hoped the older had slept like had promised, Jeongin was anxious to open up to him. Chan was gentle with him, up to this point he had never given him a reason to doubt. Jeongin was sure he could trust him.
But opening up to someone is never easy.
“Innie you okay ?” Seungmin asked from the other side of the couch, “Frozen is one of your favourites.”
“Yes hyung,” He said with a smile looking back at his phone. “I’m just thinking about my art project.”
“Oh the paint your emotion thing,” Beomgyu remembered, “Ning Ning is working on it too.”
“Yes that,” Jeongin groaned even if wasn’t thinking about it, it still was a good cover. He couldn’t tell his friends he was waiting for a text from Chris or he wasn’t going to live this down.
Ning Ning, known as Huening Kai, was one of Beomgyu’s friends, he was in Jeongin’s art class and was so freaking tall it made him feel so small. “Did he start yet ?” He asked his room mate.
“I think he finished it last week.” Beomgyu answered, “Need help with yours ?”
Of course he needed help, he had not even started yet and it was due in two weeks. “I will think about it some more for now.” He smiled, he just needed a small spark of inspiration after all, he could manage that.
“Okay,” Beomgyu nodded, “If you need Kai’s number tell me.”
“Sure,” Jeongin agreed easily, he still had time to think. “I need to sort out my emotions first.”
“You are feeling ok, right ?” Felix asked him so be sure.
Jeongin smiled. “I’m trying hyung, don’t worry.”
“That’s a good start.” Seungmin said sincerely, Jeongin wasn’t an empty shell now. He actually looked like the one before his break up with Hyunjin.
“So can someone tell me now, why the two of you are sitting around in my living room like you own the place.” He frowned at his best friends.
Felix pouted hugging Jeongin closer to him making him fall from the arm of the couch directly into his arms, the younger didn’t even try to go away, it was already a lost cause. “Hyungie is sad,” Felix said with his aegyo voice making Jeongin cringe. “Innie cuddle hyungie.”
“Eww hyung.” He said totally disgusted. “Whyyyy.” He whined.
“He thinks Changbin is dating Jisung.” Seungmin blurted out so naturally it took a few seconds for Jeongin to process.
“What ?” Jeongin said totally lost, “How did you even come to that conclusion ?”
“Felix may be right,” Beomgyu said as a matter of fact, he was the only one here who really knew Jisung. “Changbin hyung is like his shadow.”
“I never saw him like that before,” Felix added. “It’s like Jisung unlocked a new persona, the sweet caring Changbin. He even gave him meat for God’s sake!”
“We only met him today,” Seungmin argued back, “We can confirm that theory while working on the masked ball with them both.”
“He is right, give it more time Lixie.” Jeongin tried to cheer up his Aussie friend.
“Now my boys, did you see the new Twice MV ?” Beomgyu cut off the conversation, getting Felix out of his gloomy mood and starting a very passionate debate. Their evening was a blur of pizza, a Kpop jamming session and a very controversial Uno game.
And Jeongin was just happy.
Sorry for yesterday I was stuck into a
But I have a good news
A creative mood ? Tell me more
Good news ? Tell me more
I’m a lyricist and a producer
You could have know if you guess my
major last time
Are you one of those Soundcloud artists ?
Where can I listen to your music ?
Calm down Innie please
It’s too early right now
It’s almost 9am
Are you serious right now ?
I know, but guess what
I slept a full 8 hours
No lying right ?
No lying I swear
No lie between us right ?
No lie between us deal
Did your insomnia give you a hard time ?
I was really tired so no
But I was only lucky this time
You can still have your present
Can you answer my question then ?
No pressure of course
You wanted to know why I’m talking
to you right ?
What is your story ?
I got my heart broken
My first everything just left me saying he
fell out of love
I was so lost and hurt my friend signed me here
He couldn’t see me like this anymore
I think he really wanted me to cheer up
Innie that’s so sad
How are you right now ?
Is it working or not ?
I trying to be myself again
You are surely helping in a way
Don’t force yourself
I’m proud of you for sharing it with me
Damn that’s cute
You are cute
Now tell me everything about that
music career ?
My exams are over meaning I can write for this book again.
The story is going great, my side ships are still a mess, I gave some pointers but I'm not sure.
I can't write slow burn so Jeongchan is going fast but not so fast, I want to write a chapter in Chan's POV soon.
Thank you for reading, until next time.