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A Midnight Visitor

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Heath woke up to Sugizo shaking his shoulder and whispering his name.

“Heath, wake up.”

“Ugh.” Heath groaned and opened his eyes slowly. It was still dark. He rubbed his eyes with both hands. “What’s going on?”

“I think I heard something.” Sugizo tilted his head toward the front of their apartment.

Heath lay still and listened. There was a soft creaking noise. He shook his head. “It’s just the building settling.”

He was about to roll over to sleep again but Sugizo touched his arm. “No, listen.”

Sighing inwardly, Heath sat up again, just as a louder click could be heard, followed by the squeak of a door hinge. He glanced at Sugizo. “Someone’s inside.”

“Yeah.” Sugizo leaned over and reached for his emergency gun from underneath the mattress. Heath retrieved a knife from the nightstand and tugged a t-shirt on over his boxers, while Sugizo pulled on a pair of loose sweatpants.

Heath had to wonder: why would anyone want to break into their apartment at all? They didn’t live like Yoshiki, with his posh penthouse in Ginza and gorgeous blonde assistants at his beck and call. Their building was about as ordinary as you could get, in a middle-class neighbourhood. Theirs weren’t even the most expensive cars around; one of their neighbours drove a Mercedes. So if the intruder wasn’t here to burgle the place, the next most likely reason was that someone was after them.


The living room was pitch black and it took a moment for their eyes to distinguish the different shadows and silhouettes. A sliver of light stretched across the floor; the front door was left ajar. A single dark shape moved silently through the living room. Just one guy, average height and build. At least that meant that their TV was safe, Sugizo thought wryly, and then he exchanged a perplexed glance with Heath when their intruder tiptoed into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Some people did like to keep certain valuables hidden in the crisper or the freezer but this burglar looked hungry and then they took a step back and the light from the refrigerator illuminated their intruder’s pink hair.

Heath flicked the lights on.

“Jesus Christ!” the ‘burglar’ shrieked.

“hide,” Sugizo said, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

hide shrugged. “Eating pizza,” he said, as if that explained anything.

Why did you break into our apartment.”

“Ah.” hide put down the cold pizza and wiped his hands on a teatowel. “That is kind of a long story. We finished up at work and I was the last one out, so I locked up—”


“—but when I got home, everyone was out on the street in their pyjamas. Apparently some dummy in my building pulled a fire alarm so the fire brigade came and evacuated the building, and they wouldn't let us back in until they did a full sweep. So I thought, hey, you guys weren’t working tonight and you live nearby, I could crash with you for the night instead of standing around waiting like an idiot.”

“Okay.” Heath rubbed his face tiredly. “So why didn’t you just call us instead of breaking in?”

“I didn’t want to wake you up.” hide picked up the pizza again and pointed it at Sugizo. “Nice tent. Sorry, did I interrupt something?”

Sugizo looked down. “Wha—oh geez.” Flustered, he grabbed a magazine to cover himself up.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen it.”

“I beg your pardon?” Heath said indignantly.

“When we’re in the toilet at work,” hide said, taking another bite of cold pizza. “He’s got nice equipment. You must be very pleased.”

Heath spluttered at this, red-faced, while Sugizo waved both hands and said, “Excuse me, can we please stop talking about my penis?”

“I’ve seen everyone.” hide stretched out on the sofa. “Except Pata. He has shy kidneys.”

“WHY are you looking at everyone’s junk in the toilet?!”

“Relax, we’re all guys, we know what lurks beneath. Tell me you’ve never snuck a look at another dude before.” Suddenly hide’s face broke out in a grin. “Tell you what, that Taiji is fucking hu—”

“STOP!” Sugizo shouted. “There is no way for that sentence to end that won’t make me want to take my own life.”

hide wrinkled his nose. “Why’re you acting like you’re on your period?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you broke into our apartment unannounced while we were sleeping and started talking about dicks while dropping pizza toppings all over the floor?”

Heath sighed, retrieved a plate from the kitchen and thrust it in hide’s face. “At least heat it up first.”

“Nah,” hide said, grinning. “Cold pizza is underrated. You don’t know what you’re missing out on. So, do you mind if I crash here for the night? I’ll be quiet as a mouse, I swear, you won’t even know I’m here.”

“I doubt that very much,” Heath said dryly. “Can you at least clean up after yourself, please?”

hide smiled broadly and gave him a salute, ducking the magazine that Sugizo threw at him.


Sugizo grumbled and shut the bedroom door firmly before taking his pants off and climbing back into bed. “What the actual fuck is wrong with him?”

“I don’t fucking know. He was always weird, even since the first day I met him.” Heath pulled the covers up and spooned up behind Sugizo.

“Did you ever notice him looking when you’re having a piss?” Sugizo asked.

“No. I’m usually staring at the wall. I thought that was common etiquette.”

“That’s what I thought, too. I might start using the cubicle instead of the urinal from now on. Away from prying eyes.”

“He was right, though.”


“You are very nice down there.”

Sugizo purred when Heath reached down and fondled him playfully. “You looked really pissed off when he said that.”

“I was,” Heath murmured, kissing his neck slowly. “I don’t want anyone else getting a free show.”

“Mm, you know that this is only for you.”

“Better be.”

“Shall I ask him what he thinks of you?”

Heath shook his head. “I only care about what you think.”

“Mm.” Sugizo sighed, enjoying Heath’s playful teasing.


“‘So’ what?”

“What do you think?”

Oh, you actually want to know what I think about your cock?” Sugizo said in mock surprise.

“Fuck you.” Heath turned to roll over and go to sleep, but not before Sugizo pushed him down and kissed him hard, his fingers tugging at Heath’s boxers.


Things were just starting to get heated when hide banged on the door. “Hey! I can hear you, you know!”