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Templeton Faceman Peck

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  Templeton Faceman Peck was only ten years old when the world discovered him. It discovered him while he was walking across a log over a creek in his hometown of Chickadilly County. Actually, it was more like Templeton Faceman Peck (Face for short) that discovered it.

  Face felt off the log and landed directly on top of a news reporter that was interviewing old Farmer Hopper about the drought that had dried up the creek. The news reporter took one look at attractive Face and knew he had found something special. Never before had he seen a boy of ten years old that could scream such an opera scream as Face could.

  The news reporter whisked Face right off to New York City where he got hired by Broadway. Face did a lot of opera singing there before he was heard by a TV director. The TV director hired him immediately to be on a new TV series called The Opera Kids. It was basically a bunch of kids singing opera. The show was a huge flop and only lasted for one season that consisted of six episodes, and then Face went back on Broadway until he hit twelve and his voice changed. Then, he couldn’t sing opera anymore and he was fired so he had to hitch-hike his way back to Chickadilly County. When he got there, he got lots of extra chores to do for not telling his parents where he had been for two years, and then Face went back to walk across the same old log over the same old creek. Well, big mistake because the log was so old it snapped under his weight and Face landed right on top of a stunt man who was practicing a new stunt he made up. He said he had never seen such a big strong boy as Face, and would he like a stunt job? Face readily agreed, and he and the stunt man made off for Hollywood.

  Face was a stunt man for three weeks before he got a part in a new series called Three Stunt Men and A Girl From Canada. Well, that show lasted four episodes and then Face was back to a regular stunt man, but he ate so much junk food and didn’t work out enough that he lost all his strength and got fired, so he hitch-hiked back to Chickadilly County where he got extra chores for not telling his parents where he’d been for the past two years (Face was now fourteen), and then Face went to walk across the creek again, but he had broken the log so he jumped because he always ended up falling anyhow and he landed on the creek bed because no one was there to catch him, and apparently his stardom was over.

  Face grew up and got hitched when he was twenty to this nineteen year old girl named Carry May, and they had ten kids by the time Face had to go to the army. Hiram, Uriah, Cindy Lou, Jedediah, Vera Jean, Jethro, Sally Ann, Georgia Kate, Abraham, and Myra Jane. And Face was a farmer. Then, one day, when Jedediah was walking across a log over an old creek, he fell off and landed right on top of this guy that was a muscly man with a cigar and he took one look at Jedediah and said “Kid, you’re the weakest looking person I’ve ever laid eyes on.” That man turned out to be Hannibal Smith and it was the early days of his adventures with Face fighting crime.