Work Header

Howling and Templeton and the Giraffes

Work Text:

  Once upon a time, there lived two boys named Templeton Face and Howling Murdock in Jamaica on a wonderful vacation. Templeton and Howling lived on fruits and vegetables, but never realized that giraffes live in Africa until the age of sixteen, by which time all the giraffes had become extinct, because they were so selfish. See, giraffes really are selfish. They walk around in huge fields, and when a lightning storm comes, all the giraffes run around and don’t protect each other, and most of the time, they get hit by the lightning because they’re so tall. So that proves that giraffes are running around fields selfishly getting hit by lightning most of the time, while Templeton and Howling live on fruits and vegetables.

  One day, Templeton and Howling decided to come up a solution for the extinct giraffe problem, but by that time, with all giraffes dead, what could they do? You know. So, they resorted to eating the dead giraffes. See, there were quite a few tornadoes in Africa, and all the dead giraffes got blown over to Jamaica, where Templeton and Howling found them. They dissected a few, and ate the rest instead of their fruits and vegetables, and because of this, they got sick and had to write apologizes to the giraffes for eating them and for embarrassing the ones they dissected.