It had been months since he'd had felt this bad, and he knew that he was on the verge of a panic attack.
His heart was squeezing in his chest, his stomach felt as though it was going to fall to his feet and he was barely able to keep back the tears that were hot behind his eyes.
His fingers were fumbling with his keys, and then he dropped them and that was when Draco Malfoy couldn't hold back the sob in his throat.
His eyes widened in horror, hearing it bounce off the walls of the hallway with how loud it had been, which just made him feel worse and he ducked down so fast he felt dizzy, to snatch up the keys from the ground and quickly straighten back up, shaking his head to try and clear his eyes as he finally grasped the right key and shoved it into the lock.
It was strange the way as soon as he opened the front door and greedily sucked in a breath of air from inside Harry Potter's apartment that he immediately felt himself calm down, just a little.
It wasn't much, but it was enough for his breathing to start coming under control, gulping down a few lungful's of air, the first proper mouthfuls that he had gotten since he had left his aunts apartment, her sympathetic gaze and his fathers critical eyes glued to his back as he had walked away from them.
Draco knew that Harry was at work, he had known that he wouldn't be here, and he purposefully hadn't text him to tell him that his father had shown up at his aunts place completely unannounced, and that he had triggered Draco's anxiety.
It was stupid—he hated that Lucius Malfoy triggered such a reaction from him.
He hated that he got so anxious and panicky and it was as though he could feel the walls closing in on him, flashing back to when he was just a kid and he had nowhere to escape to and no way to get away from his father other than when he was due back at boarding school, no support other than from Pansy Parkinson and the empathetic looks from his silent mother—except…
Now he had somewhere to go, somewhere he felt safe, where he felt loved, and instead of listening to his father and whatever he had to say after storming in and beginning with, 'Your mother has informed me that you're planning on bringing this Potter boy to the Christmas event. Really, Draco, is it not bad enough that you parade around with a man in your life, but I will not have you bring him to a charity event of mine—'
That had been when Draco had abruptly shoved back from the table and left without a word.
He didn't even know how Lucius had known that he was going to be at Bellatrix LeStrange's, from his aunts surprised expression when the housekeeper had come in to announce him just moments before he had strode into the room, to her horrified, tight-lipped expression when he begun speaking, Draco knew that she wouldn't have intentionally had told him that Draco was going to be there.
It might have been his mother though, he had mentioned to her at their weekly lunch the other day that he was going to be having brunch with Bellatrix today.
She wouldn't have done it with any kind of malicious intent, but even after all of these years, and everything that they had been through, she just didn't seem to see that Lucius never had Draco's best interests at heart.
Draco's breathing began to pick up again and his body suddenly felt a flash of heat before feeling sweat-sticky under his arms and at his lower back and he began pulling at his clothes as he kicked off his shoes, just wanting to get free from the restrictive bonds.
His clothes were made of some of the best materials, and yet they just felt scratchy and oppressive against his skin as he carelessly dropped his Dolce & Gabbana jacket on the ground and didn't bother lining up his Chelsea boots like he was usually so careful with, and tears started flowing down his overheated cheeks as he pulled at his long sleeved shirt underneath it, yanking it over his head and then letting out an upset, impatient noise through his nose as he pulled harder.
"Ow," Draco whimpered, and he just felt more pathetic, and more stupid, because in pulling harder, his shirt had caught on his nose and it hurt, and it was—just nothing was going right, and he didn't feel right, and he wished Harry was here, but Harry had work and Draco didn't want to be needy and drag him away from that and so he just had to be patient and wait.
He stumbled into Harry's bedroom, and it smelt strongly like Harry, as usual, but it made Draco's aching chest feel slightly warmed by the fact that his Chanel perfume also tinged the air, and there was a pair of his socks on top of the cluttered desk, one of his shirts, a book that he was reading on and off and had just decided to leave at Harry's for when he was there.
Draco managed to struggle out of his skinny jeans, leaving him only in pale yellow panties with a tiny bow at the back, sliding between the sheets of Harry's bed and tugging the pillows closer around him, smothering him in their combined scents and comfort immediately calming him down, even though his tears were still steadily spilling down his cheeks and now wetting the pillow beneath him.
He fell asleep almost immediately.
"Baby…" there were soft fingers stroking through Draco's hair and he was completely disorientated in the best way as he woke up slowly, a smile already pulling up his lips at the familiar voice. But as he turned over, there were wrinkles of concern on Harry's face as he stretched over him, and Draco suddenly remembered that he wasn't really supposed to be here. Not like Harry had ever said he couldn't be in his apartment, but he was meant to meet Harry at his and Hermione Grangers parlor after he left Bellatrix's, because Harry was only working until one. But...He had come here, because brunch obviously hadn't gone in the way he had expected. Instead of asking any questions that might suddenly put Draco on the spot, Harry tilted his head to the side and brushed his fingers over Draco's forehead. "How was your sleep, hm?"
"It was good," Draco's words were a little slurred and heavy from sleep, and it made Harry smile and the concerned wrinkles smooth out.
"That's good," Harry whispered and he leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I'm going to have a quick shower. Did you want to have one with me, or you want to stay in bed?"
Staying in Harry's bed where it was nice and cozy sounded amazing, but he had overheated and sweated a bit when he had been panicking earlier, and even though he had barely moved while sleeping, he could feel that he was slightly sticky.
"Shower," he answered, licking his dry lips and Harry nodded, getting off the bed and straightening up.
He held out a hand to Draco as he unfolded himself from under the sheet and duvet and as it was exposed that Draco was just in panties—Harry's eyes widened slightly and he gave Draco a slightly lewd once over that made Draco's skin heat, but that was as far as it went as he left the room to turn on the shower.
And Draco was so appreciative of that, because right now, sex wasn't something that was at the forefront of his mind, even though a buzz of arousal was still generated almost automatically when around Harry, and especially when he looked at him like that.
"Water is heating up," Harry said as he came back into the room. "And I've got us towels." Draco nodded, and even though Harry had seen him naked too many times to count now, in the light of day, and when they weren't explicitly getting naked for sex, he still felt a bit shy. Harry smiled at the ground as he started stripping out of his own clothes, obviously noticing but not commenting on it as Draco hooked his fingers into the sides of his panties and shimmied them down, and then Harry reached out for his hand and pulled him in close, so their naked bodies pressed together and Draco barely suppressed a shiver. "You okay, baby?" He whispered softly, right into Draco's ear, and this time, Draco couldn't help the shiver.
Or the way tears sprung back to his eyes from hours earlier.
"Yeah," he managed to say through a clogged throat.
He wasn't stressed or anxious now, it was just...Wrapped up in Harry's arm felt like he was being tethered to the earth in a way that he had never really experienced before he had been with Harry.
He felt safe, and warm, and ground...And loved, but that wasn't something he was quite ready to explore just yet.
"Let's shower, yeah?" Harry murmured against his hair and Draco just nodded, glad that Harry wasn't pushing it, wasn't expecting him to open up, something that Pansy frequently did, even after all these years of friendship. He knew that was just her love language and the way she operated and it was something that he was used to after all this time, but it was nice to have someone who adapted to what he needed and what he wanted. "Come on, baby," Harry herded him out of the room gently, to the bathroom across the hall.
There was steam starting to gather in the small room, because Harry didn't have great ventilation like Draco's place did, and the shower was half the size of his, but Draco would take showering here every day of the week over at his own place.
Harry had started buying extra products for the shower in the time that they had been together, given the only things he'd had in there before had been coconut shampoo, a simple body wash and shaving cream and a razor—which Draco had found both endearing and terrifying the first time he had showered there.
But now there was jasmine and cherry shampoo along with his coconut one, and a complimenting conditioner, multiple body washes, a loofah and no cheap shaving cream and razor inside the shower.
Almost as soon as they got in the shower, Harry's hands were turning Draco around, making him face the warm spray and step underneath it, reaching down to pick up one of the body washes and poured some of the lotion his hand before straightening up and his hands were suddenly sliding up Draco's back and a moan was sliding from the blondes lips before he could even think about, his cheeks heating up straight away.
There was a low chuckle from Harry before his hands were sweeping up Draco's neck and thumbs pressing into the base and Draco's head just fell forward, his chin falling against his chest as Harry's nimble, tattooed fingers began to massage his neck and across his knotted shoulders.
It was actually working, calming him down, until he remembered that while he had been at his aunts for brunch, and then at his boyfriends sleeping...Harry had been working, and then probably looking for him and worrying when he couldn't find him, and now he was looking after him first, before even showering off the work grime, and Draco could feel the tension all beginning to return to his shoulders.
"You don't have to do this," Draco began to mumble, trying to force his shoulders and tug away from Harry's touch, but Harry just easily followed after him with his sturdy hands and kept massaging him. "I'm—I'm sorry that I—that I didn't come and meet you like—like we planned—" guilt was beginning to clog up his throat and he could feel panic coming back, his body tensing and his eyes blurring over with tears. "You don't have to do this," he repeated, because really, if anyone was looking after anyone here, it should be him looking after Harry, since he was the one who had been working today.
"I don't have to do anything, baby," Harry murmured easily, and he moved forward easily so that they were closer together again, easily still rubbing Draco's shoulders. "I'm doing this because I want to."
Draco really wanted to ask why Harry wanted to do this, why Harry was looking after him, why Harry wasn't mad that he had stood him up without messaging him, but—it felt really good.
And Harry was insisting, and Harry didn't do things he didn't want to, and Harry liked looking after him.
He said so.
And Harry didn't lie.
"Let it go, baby," Harry whispered and Draco's eyes drifted closed without a second thought. "Just let daddy look after you, yeah? I've got you."
Shampoo was massaged into his scalp, and then soap made his skin all slippery and easy for Harry's fingers to slide over his skin, under his arms, around to swoop over his stomach, gently but efficiently over his groin in a way that made Draco twitch but not open his eyes, and his body swayed as he felt Harry shift to a kneeling position behind him and give his legs a wash before tapping one ankle at a time, indicating he lift his foot and lean his weight against the wall.
Draco felt as though he was floating on air by the time Harry straightened up and shuffled him slightly out from under the water so that he could finally step under it himself—it hadn't even processed in Draco's mind that through the whole washing process Harry hadn't been under the warm spray at all, simply getting anything that splashed off his lover.
Even now, he didn't shuffle Draco out from under the spray entirely, so he had to rotate to wash himself properly, but he made no sound of complaint, and he kept leaning in to kiss Draco's cheeks lightly in a way that had him blushing so hard he could feel the heat spreading down to his chest.
Draco couldn't help the smile on his face, a little bit dopey as he let Harry shift him around, gently move him under the spray of the water to rinse off any last soapy suds before he turned off the shower and reached out for a towel.
"Pansy messaged me," Harry began, his voice low and soothing, not panicking Draco as he explained how he had found Draco, and it didn't make Draco worry or even open his eyes as Harry dried him. "She told me that your father had showed up at your Aunt Bella's, and that you had left. Your aunt rung Pansy, because, well...She didn't have my number, and she thought that you would be coming to see me," there was a tinge of pride in Harry's voice, and Draco's heart beat faster at that, one of his eyes cracking open.
Harry was looking up at him from where he was crouched by his feet, and there were wrinkles at the corners of his eyes from the way he was smiling up at Draco and Draco chewed down on his bottom lip, feeling a little flustered at Harry's expression.
Harry was happy and proud that his aunt had known he was the safe place he was running to.
"I should probably give her your number," Draco croaked out, his first time speaking in a while and his words coming out softly in the small, steamy room. "You know...In case…" he drifted off, because he didn't like thinking about the idea of having another situation like this, where he was on the verge of a panic attack and pretty much ran like a child from his problems, and his family and friends were left cleaning up after him like a toddler.
He hadn't even felt his eyebrows beginning to come together in a frown as he thought about the fact that aunt probably had to deal with his angry father, which she didn't deserve, and then worrying Pansy, who had had her own plans today and then had to take time out to chase up after Harry, and now Harry—
"Stop," Harry's voice was stern but not sharp, but it still made Draco's shoulders jerk, the change in tone making goosebumps break out across his skin. "Stop doubting yourself, okay? Wherever your head is going right now, let it go. There's no problems, there's no issues, there's nothing wrong. You're here with me, and I've got you, okay?"
Tears dripped down Draco's cheeks unbidden, but they were of relief, as his body sagged again, Harry straightening up and easily taking his weight.
"You can give my number to your Aunt Bella, that sounds great," Harry continued and he sort of hustled Draco up against the bathroom cabinet with his ass resting on the counter, as he began to dry himself. "Pansy told me that your dad came over and started yelling about the Christmas event that you invited me to," Harry continued, getting back to what he was saying before, and Draco's toes curled a little but he didn't feel anywhere near as anxious as he expected. "She didn't get any other details from your aunt, but I can guess the general core of it," Harry sighed as he slung the towel around his neck and leaned in close, damp locks of hair hanging down over his forehead as he touched his to Draco's. "I want whatever you want here. I'll do whatever you need, okay? And I'm not going to be upset either way." Another tear fell, clumping together a few delicate eyelashes. "If you just want to smooth things over and just do what they want to make it as easy as possible, then I can be with you while you get ready, and then be there when you're done with the event. If you want me to come with you, even if you know it might stir up some trouble, I will be right there with you." Draco took in a shaky breath, unsure how to respond even though Harry was saying all the right words—all the right things—and yet he still didn't know how to reply. "And you don't need to answer right now," Harry's big hand squeezed at Draco's hip. "You don't need to answer until right up until the day it's happening, and even then, you can change your mind."
He had no idea what he had done to deserve Harry but for some reason, Harry kept insisting, over and over again, that he didn't want to be anywhere else, except at Draco's side.
"Have you eaten since this morning?" Harry asked as he lead the way back to his bedroom across the hall.
"This...morning?" Draco frowned towards the window, but the weather had been murky all week, and the clouds were all grey and heavy outside, he wasn't sure what time it was.
And honestly, he had no grasp of how long he had slept and everything just felt a little bit like he was suspended in time now.
"It's nearly four o'clock," Harry said with a smile as he went to his drawers, taking out two sets of sweatpants and pulling his pair on first, not bothering with briefs, and then kneeling again in front of Draco and holding open the sweatpants, as though helping him dress was second nature, something that they did commonly and not just when Harry was helping him when he was cold or too fucked out to manage to coordinate his limbs. "I got home a while ago, but you were clearly tired, I wanted you to sleep, baby."
He was always looking out for him.
Draco's mind felt as though he was sinking deeper into subspace and they hadn't even done anything, and that wasn't something...That wasn't something he'd been able to experience before.
There had been some times with Harry when he had felt himself beginning to float, but it had never felt quite like this before.
"Are you hungry?" Harry asked as he pulled on a shirt and then moved to stand in front of Draco. Draco shook his head and then paused as he felt a rumble in his stomach. Harry just smiled. "Alright, how about I order us something to eat—we will get an early dinner, and while we wait, you kneel for me?"
Draco's eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat.
He dipped his head in a nod, and then a second one, because they'd talked about this before, quite in depth, enough for the basics, the limits and desires that they both had when it came to non-sexual dominance, and Draco already trusted Harry to catch him if he sunk too deep or floated too far.
"Yes, please, daddy," Draco whispered, and Harry smiled, giving him a nod before leading him out of the room.
Draco followed after him, trailing after him like a puppy on a lead with wide eyes and slumped shoulders, already feeling himself let go even more than he had before, everything in his mind falling away and just focusing on Harry, zeroing in on how he was going to be so good for Harry, and how Harry would tell him that, he would tell him he was good, maybe that he was a good boy, and pat his hair, and maybe touch his shoulders since he wasn't wearing a shirt.
Just HarryHarryHarry and being good and the horrible morning that he'd had was almost completely gone now.
He loved letting himself just fall like this, something he'd never been able to do and had only dreamed about doing before he had finally fallen into bed with Harry.
"Come here, baby," Harry's voice was soft from where he was moving to it down on the couch and as Draco began to fold his knees, Harry reached out one strong hand and wrapped it around Draco's arm to pause him while he moved one of the small pillows from the couch and to the ground by his feet. Draco could feel the way his heart swelled in his chest, as though he could actually feel it expanding, and his cheeks warmed as he stared down at the pillow before kneeling as Harry squeezed his arm and helped him as he kneeled. "There you go," Harry murmured as Draco settled with his legs folded under him and his head shoulders drooped forward. And then one of Harry's hands smoothed over his shoulders, his thumb pressing into the side of his neck and Draco let out a moan at the way that Harry seemed to know exactly where the aching spots were. "Does that feel better?" Draco managed to nod, moving his neck to the side for Harry's better access, but then Harry continued. "Down on your knees for daddy?" He prompted and Draco stiffened slightly as he cock twitched at the words, his eyelids flickering before there was a low chuckle from Harry that sounded amused.
"Daddy," Draco whined out, looking back and trying to narrow his eyes, but he probably just looked pouty.
"Turn back around, baby," Harry smiled at him, nothing but adoration on his face as he gently touched Draco's chin to turn his head back around before he was leaning forward to pull over one of his sketching pads that laid around the apartment, and one of the pencils that was on table top before picking up the remote.
Draco didn't really follow what he was doing, letting his eyes drift closed and his mind begin to float as Harry turned something on the TV, turning the volume down low and flipping open his sketching pad and then going quiet.
Everything else just faded out.
He could feel himself sinking, only really focused on the slight strain of his knees, where they were bent and resting on the pillow, and on Harry's hand when it went to his hair, stroking absently every now and then before gripping the back of Draco's neck in a way that made Draco's stomach squeeze every time, resting it there.
He could have his eyes open if he wanted to, there was a reason why Harry had the TV on, but there was also a reason that Harry had it turned down so low, so that it wouldn't disturb Draco if he just wanted to let go.
Which he did.
He trusted Harry.
He trusted Harry with everything.
And it made it easy to let go.
With his eyes shut, it made his other senses flare, hyper aware of the scritching sound of Harry's pencil on his paper as he sketched tattoo ideas, and the heat of Harry's hand on the back of his neck, although not so much the background noise of the TV.
He lost track of time.
He felt Harry move a few times, stop drawing and do something else with the hand that wasn't on Draco's neck, but he wasn't focusing on it, just letting himself sink further into his head, into a space that was safe and warm, where he really didn't have any other thoughts.
Every now and then, Harry's hand would gently rub over his back, down his spine and splay out against Draco's bare, pale skin, which would draw the occasional shiver.
It was only when he felt Harry's thumb pressing into the side of his neck gently and shift behind him that Draco swayed slightly, feeling the slight ache in his thighs, and then there was warm breath on his shoulder before there were lips against his ear.
"You've done so well for me, Draco...The food is almost here, baby," Harry murmured, the words all settling over Draco nicely. "You want to sit on the couch or the floor as you eat?" Draco made a humming noise as he considered, not quite ready to open his eyes just yet, but he could feel that his knees and thighs were beginning to ache slightly, and he wasn't sure what Harry would have planned for later, so he didn't want to be too sore. "Up on the couch?" Harry asked and Draco nodded and Harry kissed his jaw before leaning back and then getting up off the couch before moving to stand in front of Draco. "Let me help you, baby," he said and Draco opened his eyes slowly, to Harry holding out his hands.
"Thank you, daddy," Draco said, surprised by how thick and slurred his voice was, and he blinked slowly, but Harry didn't seem taken aback, smiling warmly as he took his hands and helped him to his feet.
"Good boy," Harry whispered, kissing the side of Draco's head as he sat him down on the couch, resting against the cushions and the soft throw over the back. "I'm just going to get us some drinks, okay? I will be right back."
Harry didn't have to tell Draco that, reassure him that he wasn't going to be far and that he was going to return quickly, but he knew that those reassurances—just those few words from him—they helped him keep floating, knowing that his daddy wasn't going to be far.
Harry was back before Draco even really registered that he was gone and he was smiling and pushing Draco's hair back from his face and leaning down to kiss his forehead as there was a knock on the door.
"Can you open the drinks for me while I get our food?" Harry said and Draco nodded without a verbal response, happy to just stay quiet and do what would make his daddy happy. Harry went to the door and unlocked it, opening it and speaking quietly with the person on the other side, paying for their food and exchanging pleasantries with whoever was delivering the food and Draco felt his skin buzzing happily at the soft murmur of his daddy's voice. There was no way that he would have been able to hold a conversation right now, even though he was actually desperately hungry—his stomach was beginning to gurgle, he didn't even know if he would have been able to place an order right now. "Good boy, Dray," Harry said as he came back over to the couch and saw that Draco had twisted off the lids of their water bottles. "Thank you."
"Thank you, daddy," Draco mumbled, his words still sounding thick and his tongue dry in his mouth.
Harry just smiled as he sat down right next to Draco, so that their thighs were pressed firmly together, reaching out with one hand to absently stroking his fingers through Draco's hair, and it made Draco close his eyes as Harry's other hand was reaching out for one of the water bottles.
"Open up for me, love," Harry said quietly as he touched the top of the water bottle to Draco's lower lip, and Draco opened his mouth automatically, his eyes still closed with his head pressed into Harry's hand as Harry tipped the water bottle up and poured some into Draco's mouth. "That a bit better?"
"Yes, daddy," Draco murmured, mouth feeling better than it had before even if his head was still pleasantly heavy with clouds.
"Good," Harry sounded pleased as he scratched Draco's scalp gently before putting down the water bottle.
There was no rush when it came to eating, and Harry made that very clear given the way he kept feeding Draco over feeding himself, reaching over to wipe Draco's chin whenever he spilt any sauce or food, and he kept whispering in Draco's ear and brushing his tattooed fingers through blonde hair.
It kept him floating and sweet and once they were finally done, Harry cleared everything away and made sure that Draco had more water to drink, before gathering him into his arms and making Draco feel so small and protected that everything that happened this morning just completely slipped away, as though it had happened in a whole other month.
His whole body just melted into Harry's side, and Harry moved him so easily, as though he weighed nothing, onto his lap with his hand pressed against Draco's head, so that he laid it down against Harry's shoulder.
Harry didn't say much to him; he changed what was on the TV although left the volume low, and only stroked his fingers through Draco's hair, occasionally giving him a kiss and saying he was a 'good boy', which just made Draco's heart pulse with happiness.
It was almost half an hour later, when Draco's eyelids were heavy and his mind was completely wrapped up in softness, when he felt gentle pressure to his lower lip, which made him automatically part his lips as he hazily opened his eyes and tipped back his head to look at up at his daddy.
"Open up for me, yeah, sweetheart?" Harry murmured, lifting an eyebrow expectantly and Draco felt heat instantly gather in his lower stomach, drool pooling in his mouth as he opened up properly, so that Harry could slide two fingers inside. "That's good," he whispered. "Get them nice and wet for daddy, yeah?"
Whenever Harry addressed himself as daddy it just made Draco's mind short, even in the hazy state he was in now, and his cock instantly began to fill more from the barely half-hard state that he had been in most of the evening.
Draco licked at Harry's fingers with his tongue, hollowing out his cheeks, darting looks up at Harry who was looking back at the TV, with the hand that wasn't being sucked off by his baby cradling the back of his head, holding it quite firmly in a way that was making Draco shake, because it wasn't too obvious, it wasn't too over the top, but it was a definite, firm hold and Draco was trapped between Harry's hands and wouldn't be able to get out even if he wanted to.
And he really didn't want to.
Harry gently began to encourage Draco's head in back and forth motions before sliding a third finger into his mouth and Draco felt a whine instantly rise in his chest as he let his mouth be more lax, allowing Harry easily to stretch his lips and make room for his fingers.
"Good boy," Harry murmured and kissed the side of his head before pressing the back of Draco's head, so that his fingers slid further to the back of his mouth, towards his throat, and Draco instantly had to quickly swallow and adjust, but Harry's fingers didn't relent until they were fully inside Draco's mouth, so full they were stretching the corners of Draco's lips. "You look so pretty for me, baby." Harry's dark eyes were so intense as he looked down at Draco and it made his toes curls as he tried to respond to Harry, but the moment he managed to open wider, Harry pushed his fingers deeper in Draco's mouth, his fingers nudging gently at the back of Draco's throat and making his eyes water as they rolled back and any drool that he had been attempting to swallow back spilled down his chin. "So pretty," he repeated quietly, almost to himself, before he was ducking forward and licking at his chin, cleaning him up before pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Draco's mouth. "You show me that you can take my fingers this deep, I'll fuck your face after, okay?" He whispered and Draco...Draco moaned, loud enough that it escaped from around Harry's digits and it made Harry smirk.
Draco had always loved giving blowjobs, he'd realized he had an oral fixation when he was a teenager which was something that Pansy had teased him about a lot, and wanting something rougher, having someone take over and just use his face and move him in the way that they wanted—the idea of it had always made him feel light headed.
But he'd never trusted someone to completely let go with before, that he knew wouldn't push him too far but would still give him what he needed to reach that special place inside his head, and that would be there afterwards to look after him.
So much he couldn't have before.
It was a bit strange, the way a tear spilled out of the corner of one eye, falling down his cheek and drawing Harry's sharp eye, tilting his head to the side as he slowly pulled his fingers from Draco's mouth despite the whine of protest.
"What's your colour, love?" He asked, cupping Draco's face with damp fingers, neither of them caring about the spit that was amusing across Draco's cheek.
"G-green, daddy," Draco managed with a hoarse voice and Harry smiled and kissed his cheek before pressing his fingers back in, smoothly filling Draco's mouth right until his knuckles were pressing up against his teeth, and he could see ink lines of the lilies and crabs tattooed over his daddy's hand when he looked down his nose.
It shoved the breath from his chest and made his eyes roll back.
Even though it had only been a few months, Draco had lost count of the many times that he had gone down on Harry.
How many times Harry had fucked his face, though, and since they'd properly discussed boundaries?
It has only been twice, and one of those times Draco knew full well Harry had been holding back.
He sort of lost track of time, Harry holding his head and moving it, his fingers pressed down his throat and heavy against his tongue, and he knew that he was drooling down his chin and around Harry's fingers but he really didn't care, his whole mind and body felt simultaneously heavy and light at the same time and it was incredible.
"Hey, sweet baby," Harry's voice gently broke through the haze in Draco's head as Harry whispered in his ear, nibbling softly on the shell of his ear. "How about you get on your knees for me now, yeah? Let me use your mouth properly?" And Draco wanted to nod his head enthusiastically a hundred times yes, but his body wasn't quite responding the way it usually did, and he only managed to dip his head once, Harry drawing his fingers out with a smirk at the lewd sound they made. Draco's face was burning because he knew he was a mess, spit smeared down his chin and he looked down, at the pillow that Harry's foot reached out and moved slightly so it was in a better position. "Go on, baby," Harry gave Draco a nudge, and that was all it took for him to slide down moving to kneel between Harry's legs and rest his hands against his thighs. "Good boy," Harry smiled at him, almost indulgently, reaching out and stroking his hair as he took himself out of his sweatpants with the other hand. He guided Draco's face forward, his mouth falling open instinctively and a moment later, Harry was pressing his cock between Draco's lips, firmly and smoothly, until it hit the back of his throat. "There we go," his voice was slightly strained but still very much in control. "Does that feel good, baby?" His voice was just a little bit mean, because he knew that Draco liked that, but god, also so, so fond.
Draco could only gurgle in response, twitching and trying not to jerk his hips upward even though he was throbbing and leaking as Harry gave him a slight reprieve to take in an adjusting breath, petting his hair.
Harry pushed his cock right to the back of Draco's throat again, knowing that Draco could take it, especially since he had just been taking his fingers, and he smiled as the blonde gagged slightly and his eyes teared up, stroking his forehead and his hair before looking back up at the TV, as though his attention was easily drifting away.
Draco's mind just felt so fuzzy he could barely see as he swallowed around his daddy's cock, just trying to get him to look down at him again or scratch at his hair in the reassuring way, and every time Harry did, Draco just felt everything inside him tip further into that cloudy, floating abyss.
He felt as Harry was about to come, he knew the changes in his breathing and the way his thighs tensed up, and then Harry tightened the hand at the back of Draco's head, keeping him in place as he began to come, groaning as he pumped into Draco's mouth and his baby swallowed as much as he could, tears beginning to stream down his face as he choked slightly, feeling spit and come leaking out from the corners of his mouth.
Harry's face was proud as he stared down at Draco, still cupping Draco's face as he finished in his mouth before brushing his thumbs over the apples of Draco's cheeks before swiping down through the mess that was dripping down his chin.
"So good, baby," Harry cooed, his voice a little shaky, and Draco blinked up at him through bleary eyes. "You did so good for me." Draco couldn't talk, even as Harry slid his cock out of his mouth with a slight hiss of sensitivity as Draco kept suckling at the head, and Harry pressed his baby's mouth shut with his finger. "Swallow, baby," he murmured and Draco did as he was told with big eyes trained on Harry. "Good boy," he murmured and Draco couldn't help his whimper, especially as Harry's expression shifted slightly and he moved his foot, lifting it and pressing his foot against Draco's groin, over where he was hard and leaking in his borrowed sweatpants and Draco let out a squeak as his body instinctively tried to curl forward. "You want to get off, baby?" Harry asked sweetly as he stroked Draco's hair, and Draco managed a shaky nod. "That's right, love, you've been so good for me," he applied more pressure against Draco's groin and Draco whined as he blinked up at Harry with watery eyes. "Go on, baby, get off against daddy's foot," Harry murmured and Draco's body shook, as he began to hump himself forward, against Harry's foot.
It didn't take long, with how fuzzy Draco's head was, and how hard he had been for so long, and Harry pressed his toes against Draco's cock and rotated his foot slightly and Draco whimpered and shuddered and Harry patted his hair.
"Come, baby," Harry murmured, applying more pressure and Draco's hips began to snap forward faster, even though his movements still felt sluggish and absently he knew that really, he wasn't moving that quickly at all. "Come for your daddy, love."
"Dah-dd-yyyy!" Draco whined out as his body jerked forward, curling over his daddy's lap and panting as he came in his sweatpants, ears burning red and mind buzzing with Harry's words as Harry instantly surrounded him in his arms, holding him tight and safe against his body.
Draco was whimpering and twitching and Harry took his time before moving to gather his lover up into his arms, bringing him up onto the couch and kissing his face softly, running his hands gently over his skin as he whispered how good he was, how beautiful he was, how much his daddy appreciated him.
Draco never felt as good as he felt when he was with Harry, and it was after days like today, that Harry just kept proving to him why he was that safe place.
And he never wanted to lose him.