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The Zalist Bible; the old texts

Chapter Text

Twas the night before any moons. Not a star in the sky
The holy deity Zal had been in a dark landscape since before the creation of anything. One day, the holy Zal spoke. "I am quite bored in this endless dark landscape. Perhaps I will add some color." In the beginning, Zal created the hub and the Toadstranovas, the little balls in the galaxy we now call planets.(Nice)

Then Zal said "I'm quite blind in this new landscape, unable to see my toadstranovas. Let us be able to see!" And then a beautiful toadstranova of light filled the galaxy. Zal said "This is pretty cool" And it was. He called the light Day and the dark Night, so on the first day, the lonely Zal freed his mind.

Then Zal said "Let there be a indestructible landmass and raise it up to the place above, unable to be seen by the naked eye, and call it heaven" and it happened. so day and night of the second day Zal yet again freed his mind.

Then Zal said "Let there be a swampland with firm landmass on the bottom" and it happened. Zal created the earth, and he said 'This is pretty cool" and he was right.

Then Zal said "Let the earth have Toad and Hip on the third morning", and there were many toads with a lot of hip. Zal said "This is pretty cool" and it was.

Then Zal said "let there be the toad calendar, seperated by seconds and minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years and decades and so on. Let more animals accompany the hippest of toads so they do not become lonely. Let Let everyone free their minds in the darker times and improve their wits in the lighter times. Let all toads and animals be blessed with eternal life and fruits." and it was so. Zal said "This is pretty cool" and it became the fifth day.

Then Zal said "let the earth have a food chain. Let the toads friends eat meat, and the toads eat plants" and it was so. Zal said "This is pretty cool" and it was.

Then Zal said "Let there be beings like me. let them have dominion over everything belonging to me. let them be created in my image but less hostile." and and so Zal created the male, female, the nonbinary and so on, then Zal said "let them be blessed with the fruit the other animals eat and (Nice)have eternal life and be in control of all the animals except for the toads."

And Zal said "I have given them everything they could ask for. I have given them the hippest of toads which I am not even worthy of." Zal thought this was indeed pretty cool and it was, thus concluded the sixth day.