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You’re ushered into a bright room full of flashing lights and cameras. You blink to adjust trying to make out the space in front of you. Slowly as your vision acclimates you start to make out figures, particularly a blonde one seated in a chair in the middle of the room.
You approach him and his eyes snap towards you as you get closer. There’s a beat of silence before he smiles, “zhit please relax” the figure says leaning forward to take your hand as you sit in a chair across from him. “Ich am brüno” he pauses for a moment holding your gaze before continuing
, “you’re very cute you know, kind of masculine energy ich like it you know, ze androgynous energy, so in right now” Brüno comments sitting back in his chair, sizing you up from afar. He rambles on and you look back at him fondly amused by the way he seems to speak faster than he can process. You smile cocky glancing down. “Thank you, Brüno.” You reply dragging out the vowel in his name, you can tell he notices by how his eyes shift darker slightly. He grins at you for a moment almost taken aback slightly by you, he recovers quickly though leaning back in licking his lips before taking a breath to speak, “ich like how you pronounze it, rolls off ze tongue.” He replies, his voice heavy with obvious double entendre. You snort out a laugh, amused and curious enough to play along. You can feel brüno’s unwavering gaze on you as the air in the room gets thick, the spell only broken when his eyes cut to his camera man.

“Geh spielen. Ich bin beschäftigt.” He rattles out to the camera man who nods immediately retreating at Brüno’s tone. You look around at the faces confused before your attention is brought back to brüno. “Vould you maybe, like a break or zomething. Ze set guys are useless and ze sounds down on ze mics. It always takes forever.”

You grin slightly stretching your legs out to settle into the chair. “I guess.” You reply tilting your head to the side as you pretend to consider the offer.
He smiles back,” ze ztrong and silent type. Ich could get to like it.” He says brashly, expecting for you to concede, you smile quietly to yourself deciding to knock the wind out of him instead. The next second you’ve shot up agressively from your seated position towards him, “could get to like it? You don’t like it already?” You reply reveling in the look of brief shock on brüno’s face. You smirk clicking your teeth as you wait for aresponse. Brüno stares back at you like a deer in the headlights for a moment and you detect that faintest blush dusting his cheeks. He takes a breath regaining his composure, “and if I do zen what?” He replies harshly.
You laugh dangerously, “you want to find out?” You ask. “Ich would” He replies crisply. He stands and you follow him a few steps before you gehim pushed against the wall with his back facing you. He makes a noise at the unexpected movement but doesn’t fight you. Youhold him against the wall for a moment, “then I guess you’ll find out.” You say into his ear sending a shiver down his spine. “Ze bedroom is in ze back” he says quietly, you look around the small unfamiliar apartment getting your bearings. He starts walking backwards towards the bedroom pulling you along with him by the hips.

When you push him into the bedroom and on the bed he gestures to a closed closet with a box filled with an ungodly amount of sex toys, “you fucking bastard. You set all this up. You better buckle up.” You stand up facing him with a strap and harness in your hand turning to face him. He looks at you from the bed looking slightly breathless, “honestly zet vas so worth it.” He replies, leaning back on his elbows on the mattress to look back at you a shit eating grin on his face. “That's what you think right now.” You reply aggressively, you walk to the edge of the bed and start to put on the strap when brüno’s hand stops you. You look at him confused

. “Let me.” He says leaning up with open arms. You shift forward allowing him to adjust the strap for you, pulling at your hips and thighs from time to time. Brüno smiles when he realizes you grabbed one of the straps that got you off too, with a side for the wearer. He decides to take full advantage of this by sliding in the strap hitting the perfect angle. You buck slightly, causing brüno to jostle some using the momentum to fall on his knees in front of you. You exhale sharply blinking stars out of your eyes as you watch brüno playfully look up at you as he nuzzles at the base of the strap. You struggle to stay standing as you watch brüno swirl his tongue around the top of the strap and down the side. After a few moments he pulls away from the strap with a wet pop smiling up at you slyly.
“Who needs lube ich mean just put in zeme effort.” He comments winking.
Your brain short circuits. There’s dead silence in the room before your both moving, pushing back up to the bed. His head thumps against the bed slightly as you lean in to sweep a kiss in on his open mouth. He pauses slightly at the gesture, blinking back at you as you pull away, he seems slightly guarded, “zo are you going to schtup me or not?” He says cockily but his breathless voice betrays him. You smile in the knowledge that you have him right where you want him. You pull him closer slightly aggressively by the nape of his neck. You can feel rather than hear his breath catch. “That’s what you want don’t you?” You ask in his ear. As you lean over him he shifts his position to press up against you.

From this point your memory goes a little hazy all you know is that the first moment your strap slides in, he bucks pushing the other side of the strap up into you and it’s only white blinding light as you both chase the feedback from one another’s moments. After a while you start to get the hang of the rhythm and manage to reach forward to grip the headboard for suppor managing to get a deeper angle. Things get blurrier as you both get closer and closer you brace one hand on the headboard with the other wrapped around his cock pulling moans from him which could only be described as lewd at best as you try and not let your hips stutter the pace. Brüno grips desperately at your hips constantly trying to pull you closer. More more more and you’re happy to oblige. You feel an orgasm crashing through your body as you keep pumping into him. He cums soon after in your hand which you sloppily wipe off on the side of the bed, both panting against each other. You pull out carefully and roll off of him. You shift and turn to see Brüno watching you curiously.
“What?” You ask.
“Zat was ze best dick ich have ever had in my life and it wasn’t even real” Brüno comments, smirking back at you.
You burst out with laughter, leaning forward to retrieve something from your clothes strewn on the ground.
“Here, post sex cigarettes?” You ask passing one to him. He graciously accepts.
“Ich have to have your number for ze dick at least but ze cigarette is ze bonus” he says, and you nod lighting first his cigarette and then your own.