tsukishima couldn't stop crying. he couldn't stop playing with the small hand that lay in his, feeling the warm tears stream down his face. yamaguchi sat across from him on the bed, cross cross and inching closer as the tall boy continued weeping softly.
"tsukki please stop crying," yamaguchi pleaded, wiping tear after tear off of tsukishima cheeks. "i'm fine, i'm not hurt anymore. terushima won't come back, i promise i'm fine, so please stop crying."
but tsukishima wasn't crying because he was worried about yamaguchi. he knew yamaguchi was fine, he was strong, it was something that had drawn tsukishima to him in the first place. yes, he did cry a lot and have major anxiety, but overall his character was something no one would ever completely break. that was something he knew to be true. he was crying because the thought of love had finally hit him. it came hurtling at him, non stop and overwhelming. it engulfed him, stuffy and confusing. he loved yamaguchi. he loved every inch of him, not just the freckles that adorned his pale face. not just his big, round hazel eyes that sparked emotion with every word. no, it was everything. he was absolutely perfect. tsukishima was completely and utterly in love.
"yamaguchi," tsukishima managed to get out after finally shedding the last of his tears.
"hm," he hummed in response, flipping through one of the many astronomy books in tsukishimas room. he'd managed to slip out of tsukishimas protective arms, leaving one of his hands tightly intertwined in the blonde boys.
"can i take you somewhere?"
"tsukki! slow down, my legs aren't as long as yours!" yamaguchi giggled and he was pulled up the steep slope by tsukishima. it was a cold night, and the sharp air cut through tsukishima's lungs like blades.
"we're almost there," tsukishima huffed, tugging on yamaguchi's hand more as they reached the top of the hill. "look." yamaguchi was pulled to the very tip of the hill, overlooking the city. it was dark, and the lit buildings twinkled against the pitch black roads. but the most breathtaking thing of all was the dark sky that hung behind the landscape. bright, white stars shone in the background, accompanying a large yellow moon. trees surrounded the two boys to cocoon them in an opening, cozy and homey. a forceful wind blew through the trees and yamaguchi shivered through the thin dinosaur t-shirt tsukishima had let him borrow.
"i-it's coldddd tsukki," yamaguchi chattered as he pulled himself closer to the tall blonde next to him, tugging at the sweatshirt he wore and hugging his thin torso tightly. tsukishima pried his arms off of him and pushed him away suddenly. "h-heyyy what are you doing?"
"calm down starlight," tsukishima laughed, pulling the purple sweatshirt over his head. "i'm making sure you're warm. i couldn't let you freeze, now could i?" he took yamaguchi's wrists and put the sweatshirt over his head, watching his hair ruffle with the light breeze. tsukishima brushed the stray piece of hair that always feel out of place away from yamaguchi's shining eyes, letting his hand rest softly on his face.
"dance with me tsukki!" yamaguchi exclaimed, taking tsukishima's arms and dragging him to the center of the clearing. tsukishima snorted, letting yamaguchi put his arms around him and move slowly. his laughter rang through the trees and tsukishima spun him, catching him by the waist and giving him a twinkling grin.
of course he wants to dance
"hm, it smells like you," yamaguchi murmured, touching the yellow moons embroidered on the large sleeves of tsukishima's purple sweatshirt. he smiled warmly up at tsukishima, moving forward to wrap his arms around him and burry his head into tsukishima's chest.
"l-let's go sit down," tsukishima stuttered, blushing and sitting down on the grass. yamaguchi sat himself square in tsukishima's lap, letting his legs fall around tsukishima's waist. tsukishima jolted slightly at the sudden touch. as much as he wanted to ignore how it made sparks shoot through him, he couldn't. somehow, he seemed to enjoy the physical closeness, the feeling of yamaguchi's breath on his chest and the weight of his legs on his. "yamaguchi, do you like it here?" he whispered to the small boy in his lap.
yamaguchi lifted his head to look tsukishima in the eyes. tsukishima watched his long eye lashes blink around his hazel eyes and a smile play on the cupids bow of his lips. "of course i do, it's beautiful," he said softly to tsukishima, taking one of his hands to intertwine his fingers with his.
tsukishima took a deep breathe and looked up at the dark sky. "can i tell you something?" he watched as yamaguchi nodded slightly, tracing the outline of tsukishima's stomach through his shirt. "do you know why i like your freckles so much?"
"n-no.." yamaguchi stiffed, pausing the tracing of his hand and looking down.
"yamaguchi, they're not a bad thing. stop pitying them, please. you know i love them right? i think they're beautiful, they're striking. when i first met you i was drawn to them, it was something i couldn't fully explain nor comprehend," tsukishima explained, biting his lip. how should he do this? how do emotions work? he screwed his eyes shut, his brain swarmed. a small hand squeezed his own and he opened his eyes to see the boy sitting with him. his eyes were laced with concern and his lips pouted, looking at tsukishima with encouragement to continue.
"i didn't take you as one to get flustered tsukki. spit it out already!" yamaguchi smirked, eyes gleaming with mischief. he pinched his cheek before letting his hand fall back down to his lap.
"i'm sorry, i'll continue. it's because.. they look like the stars. i like to make constellations with them when i'm stressed. when you fall asleep on my shoulder i look at them, i watch your eyelids flutter when you have a bad dream and when you grab my arm i get butterflies. and i got you that bracelet because my name means moon, so you will always have me. i have a matching one too, it has a star on it. it reminds me of you. you're a star yamaguchi, you mean everything to me." he took yamaguchi's face in his hands. it glistened with tears and the freckles on his cheeks seemed to glow, full and bright. they really were stars, they were the light in tsukishima's glum life.
"i-i do? do-do you love me, kei? is that what you're trying to say doofus?" yamaguchi sniffled and laughed lightly, leaning into tsukishma's large hands.
"yes, i guess that's what i'm trying to say. it doesn't make any sense to me. i've never know how to handle emotions. one day i'll tell you what happened to me, what happened to me early on, but for now i want to try and figure other things out. i want to figure it out with you, tadashi. i don't understand feelings well, they've always been tricky. then you came along. you were bright and colorful, you made me feel something i'd never felt before. so i guess i do love you," he hung his head, suddenly embarrassed. yamaguchi turned into a fit of laughter.
"haha, oh tsukki, you really don't know how to handle emotions do you? how funny is that, you're in love with someone who cries over nothing! i'm sure i could teach you a few things, there's gotta be something in that big lump of yours," yamaguchi giggled, poking at tsukishima's head softly and wiping a tear away from his freckled face.
"yeah.. you're crying right now. why is that?" tsukishima wondered, cocking his head. "you're not sad are you? god, what did i do this time?" he squeezed the sides of his nose in frustration. why couldn't he do this right?
"crying isn't always sad kei. i'm happy right now. i'm crying because i'm happy. you do understand that right? i'm here with you, sitting in your lap and watching the stars. the stoic tsukishima kei just confessed his love for me. of course i'm happy! i gotta be a little special don't i?" yamaguchi said brightly, tilting his head to the side.
"oh, ok then. you've always been special to me.." tsukishima trailed off, pondering his thoughts.
"tsukki! are you ok? what's wrong?" yamaguchi asked after a moment, rubbing tsukishima's shoulder suddenly. there were tears streaming down the blonde boys face. they just kept coming, the warmth falling on his cheeks heavily. he felt yamaguchi wipe away everyone, watching him curiously.
"i'm happy," he said after a moment. his eyes were trained on yamaguchi, confused, but not necessarily in a bad way.
yamaguchi smiled. "i suppose you are. do you understand now kei? that i love you too?" he leaned up to place a gentle kiss on tsukishima's lips. tsukishima did, in fact understand. he looked at yamaguchi with wide eyes, tear drops wet on his glasses. yamaguchi laughed in return, reaching his hands up to cup tsukishima's face. tsukishima kissed each one of yamaguchi's freckles, earning a giggle one after another, something he'd wanted to do for a very long time.
some time had passed as the two boys gazed at each other, so tsukishima took yamaguchi by the hands and stood up, hugging the small boy tightly around the waist. they swayed slightly in the chilling wind, the closeness of it all keeping them warm. what a new experience this was for tsukishima. warmth, love, the feeling acceptance, it was something he never wanted to let go.
"you're my star tadashi,"
yamaguchi giggled, standing slightly on his tip toes to place a kiss on tsukishima's dainty nose.
"and you're mine kei,"