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An Army of Me

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It's a little weird to associate yourself with something that lives in your girlfriend's vagina. But Tadayasu supposes perhaps there are some upshots to his condition.

"Um, hey, this may be an odd question, but have you been feeling stressed or something lately?" Tadayasu asks. He gets a quizical look. Which makes sense, because it's an odd comment for the moment and position he's asking from.

"Right, uh because you seem to be having a flourishing of C. albicans and..."

"Crap." She says, and smiles at him. "Thanks."
And that's how they wind up going to the drugstore for antifungal cream instead of having sex. It's okay, because she kisses him and Tadayasu feels like a responsible boyfriend. It is a little unnerving to have a yeast colony waving hello when one is contemplating cunnilingus. If it were S. cerevisiae Tadayasu supposes he wouldn't mind. He always has a few of those hanging around anyway.


When they first started sleeping together tuning out the unhelpful comments of his microbial cheering squad was something he learned to do quickly, but infections are a different deal. They buy the cream and wind up making out on a park bench on the way back because Tadayasu has to go back to the lab and she has an evening class. Tadayasu doesn't live in the lab anymore. He got over that Sophomore year.

After the craziness of being a Freshman with the ability to see microbes at an agricultural school, things settled a little bit. Tadayasu really got into the research and found his place, though it seemed to be surrounded by crazy people. Dating hadn't really been in the plan then, but strange things happened when you had to take an economics course to fulfill gen ed requirements. Apparently math was equally important to agriculture. She had sat two rows down and to the left. After saying hello a few times in passing Tadayasu had got up the nerve to ask her out and the rest had been history, or well the history of a few months.


Tadayasu drops by the next day, because they don't have class at the same time and that's always something to take advantage of. They lay on her bed side by side and talk about the research he's working on and the stupidity of some of the students in the lab she TAs. Her room is very clean and Tadayasu appreciates the lack of multicolored, floating, company. But, she doesn't spray or disinfect ridiculously either, just keeps things neat. It's very normal. Tadayasu finds himself not wanting to move. The heat of the last week has been oppressive. It's often like this the first few weeks of school, just edging off summer, but not completely.

"You know it might be because of the heat and humidity." Tadayasu considers.


"Your yeast infection."

She nods, "I guess that might make sense."
Tadayasu loves the fact that she somehow understands, doesn't get overly annoyed or offended by his microbe oriented thought pattern. Being more open with it, with his friends knowing and some of his professors, it's harder to not say what comes to mind. And she gets it, and doesn't seem to mind.

"I've been using the cream, you wouldn't mind checking for me?" Her smile is both amused and a sly invitation. Tadayasu nods, what's a good boyfriend, with microbe vision, for? She slowly unbuttons her pants wiggling out of them by raising her hips but not sitting up or getting off the bed. She pulls down her underwear, flicking it to the floor with a toe then turns to spread her legs for him. Her eyes never leave his and her smile is feral. Tadayasu can't help grinning back. He props himself up on an elbow and leans forward to inspect. There are fewer yeast smiling up at him, almost back to normal.

"You could probably use a day or two more, but it looks like it's working." Tadayasu reports. "You know, yeast are pretty darn impressive. They're so efficient. And they're microbes that sexually reproduce, well not always but Candida albicans can. Actually it's really fascinating, it was originally thought to be asexual, but it now appears that even though it doesn't have all the genes for reproduction, it still goes through a full sexual cycle. It's now recognized as sexual or parasexual. Which is pretty neat. So really it's sort of like you're playing host to an orgy. Or maybe, because they're all going inside of you, it's more like a gang bang...wait I'm sorry. You probably..." She cuts him off by laughing.

"A microbial gang bang, well it isn't the most comfortable thing in the world so I'll buy your explaination."

"Sorry, I get carried away. You know there was a time when I could just recognize them and didn't know anything. They're just so fascinating!"

"Gangbangs, microbes, or yeast in specific." She teases.

"Well, microbes." Tadayasu says, "Though I've always thought if I were to be a microbe I'd probably be a yeast, S. cerevisiae but..." It's an odd thing to contemplate. They don't look exactly the same but yeast has always been. They were the first thing he saw, and the ones that stuck around, following him from home to a wider world of brewing.

She doesn't look disgusted, just intrigued as she prods, "So it's like a mini army of you? All invading me." Her tone is light but it makes Tadayasu swallow convulsively all the same.

"Well, they're sort of just hanging out, but...yeah. I, I guess."

"And if you were a microbe?" She continues and her voice is husky and this shouldn't be as ridiculously hot as it is.

"I would want to be the first one in." Tadayasu says. Then uncertainly looks up at her, her smile is encouraging and she pulls his hand forward to rest against her thigh. So close. And he slowly walks his fingers those last few inches, imagines leading an army of his breatheren. He would be the first to explore, to delve in and enjoy the hot moistness of her body. He slowly slides his finger in and she grins at him.

"And all the others would come in after me, and it'd be warm and sweet and we'd grow." He mutters, half blushing at his own words and fully hard with the thought. He slides in another finger and she rolls her hips slightly against him. "And it would feel wonderful...for us, though not for you which is why this is...." She leans down to grab his face and Tadayasu sits up in response. She peppers kisses across his cheek, his fingers still working inside her.

"It's not silly." She says, "I like it. The thought, I mean."

"If I were part of a yeast infection?" Tadayasu asks, feeling a little out of control, this whole thing is crazy. She looks steadily at him.

"Yes." And she looks so serious that Tadayasu believes her. "It's hot. You think so." Her voice is a purr as her hand slides down to grip him through his jeans. Tadayasu groans a little and leans his forehead against her shoulder. He flicks his thumb up over her clit in retaliation and she gasps. She pulls at his shirt, unbuttoning it and he gets to work on his pants with his free hand. Soon their mostly naked and she twines her legs around him. When he pushes inside it's hot and wet and if he really were yeast, exactly where he'd want to be. Tadayasu thinks perhaps he might have said that outloud because she's laughing into his mouth and kissing him back hard. Afterward they lay back, sticky with sweat in the warmth of the room. Her hair sticks to the side of his neck, but Tadayasu can't be bothered to move.

"You know, I still think I'm going to use the antifungal cream." She says conversationally.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. All things in moderation and all that. Including yeast." Tadayasu agrees.

"Mmm." she hums sleepy approval and shifts closer. "You don't have anything to do this evening, right?"


"Good." She flops an arm over his chest and her eyes flutter closed. Tadayasu can't help smiling fondly at her. He feels a little sorry for fate of the remaining yeast, but right now, he doesn't feel much like sharing.