Actions

Work Header

Silence

Summary:

Everything was quiet, before and after the apocalypse. So what happens when things change, people are left for dead, and the deaf kid has to learn to survive in a silent world full of undead monsters ready to tear into skin and flesh?

Nix was going to survive; she was going to do everything to stay alive.

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Nix looked up at her father, watching his hands move. They’d long since come to a standstill in the traffic jam. ‘Stay safe,’ he told her, watching as she nodded along. ‘Merle is going to be an asshole, but we will be safe.’

‘Promise?’ she signed back, eyebrows pulled together as her fingers made the X mark over her chest. It was one of several ways she could ask him to promise.

Her father nodded, and his hand came to rest on her face, the other hand signing, ‘promise,’ back to her. Nix nodded in return, smiling a little. The two looked back at the traffic snarl they were at the ass end of. Nix could see people getting out of their cars and grouping together. There were even some kids her age.

She looked back at her father. ‘Should we say hello?’ she asked, frowning a little, waiting to see what he had to say about it.

He rubbed at the scruff on his face, contemplating it all. ‘Dangerous,’ he signed to her after a moment of thought. Nix nodded, feeling dejected. But she understood; it was a dangerous situation they were in, and they didn’t know the strangers or what they could be capable of. They’d already had trouble with some strangers just trying to get to Atlanta, they didn’t want more trouble now that they were almost there.

Nix could remember Will and Jesse, and it made her shiver. She always hated Will, ever since she was a child; Jesse was only just tolerable. But now the men were both gone, and it was just her, her father and her uncle left. She supposed it could be worse; it could be her and Will Dixon left.

The two watched as the people waited around their cars, stuck waiting for the potential safety in Atlanta. Time felt slow, dragging out the seconds and turning them into hours as they waited for the vehicles to start moving once more. Nix slouched back in her seat and pulled her legs up to her chest. She was scared, but she had to hide it. However, they weren’t waiting long before Merle banged his fist on her dad’s window. He was as impatient as ever with the traffic snarl. Nix had long since learned how to read lips, but it was mainly her father’s and uncle’s. Still, she didn’t like what Uncle Merle often said. She thought she was usually better off not knowing what came out of his mouth. But it was a handy skill, learning how to read lips, even if it was exhausting and mostly guesswork on her part. Nix was simply glad that Merle didn’t exaggerate the way his mouth moved when he spoke to her, so it made it easier for her to see the natural movement of his mouth.

“We get the fuck outta here before some pussies find us. We get up high, away from this shit.” Merle saw Nix looking at him. “You alright, girly?” he asked, not bothering to sign. He knew she could mostly tell what he said, and he probably thought she had her old, cheap hearing aids in. The hearing aids were tucked away in her dad’s pocket after they had an argument about them. She didn’t like sound, too used to the silence she had.

Nix frowned at Merle, pretending she couldn’t tell what he said. ‘What’s wrong?’ she signed instead. She saw the way her father hid his amusement from his brother.

Merle jabbed a finger at each of them, then jerked his thumb back the way they’d come. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he wanted them to get going, and he’d had enough of sitting around doing nothing in the traffic. Nix pursed her lips at him a little before she nodded her head, relenting. Her dad was the only one who listened to her anyway; Merle loved her, but he didn’t understand her.

Still, she watched the group – two lots of parents with two kids – as her father put the truck into gear, reversing it and turning them around. He took them away from the city and away from all the traffic. Nix wondered what the families would do; if they’d go into the city or give up and figure something else out.

Nix kept quiet. She couldn’t talk to her dad anyway; he couldn’t sign and drive at the same time, as it was a skill he had yet to pick up. It left Nix to her thoughts, and she could only think about the things she’d seen on the news, the people coming back to life and tearing human flesh – the way Will and Jesse turned and became so dangerous her father killed them in front of Nix. That gave her nightmares, and her father couldn’t do a damn thing about it. She forced the images of Will and Jesse Dixon out of her mind and thought about the dead. How could the dead come back to life? It was uncomfortable to think about; what if they tried to get her? Nix knew she was easy pickings. She was deaf, so she wouldn’t be able to hear them approaching her from behind. But she knew that her father would do everything in his power to keep her safe for as long as he could; he’d done it before and she knew he would do it again.

She watched Merle on his bike, leading them away from the rest of the people, and up into the mountains. She wondered what went through the man’s mind, what he could be thinking about now that the world had turned to shit for everyone else. The only reason they’d bothered to risk going into Atlanta was to try and find somewhere to keep her safe. She knew that if it was just her father and uncle, then they wouldn’t bother to try and get into the city. It made her wonder if Merle was annoyed at the fact he had to risk his skin for her sake, but then she dismissed the thought. She knew that he cared about her and would do what he could for her.

They continued to drive, going further into the mountains until they stopped at what looked like an old campsite. Nix looked at her father, frowning up at him. ‘This isn’t safe,’ she signed to him.

He nodded at her, ‘I know, but I’m here so I’ll keep you safe. Merle too.’

Nix knew there was an uncomfortable look on her face. She wasn’t fond of the idea of being near her uncle. Sure, he was nice to her, but he was still weird. Nix knew he could set people off in the wrong way, it was the biggest reason why her father would come home with bruises when he’d go out drinking with Merle and his friends.

‘Find a place to set a fire,’ her father told her, then he glanced back at his brother. ‘Get yourself warm. We can’t use the engine.’

She nodded at his words, then grabbed the flashlight from the glove compartment and she opened the passenger door. Her feet hit solid dirt, and she moved around the front, her other hand on the knife her father gave her for her eighth birthday. Nix found a spot on the ground that was good enough to set up a fire. She went to work, grabbing firewood as she went. It was quick work for her, having long since learned how to start a fire without an accelerant.

A hand clasped her shoulder and she jerked away; her knife held up. It was just Merle. He grinned at her, then crouched down next to her.

“Keep the fire low so we don’t attract the bad ones.”

Nix gave him a disbelieving look, and he laughed, knowing she was smart enough. He held his hands out to the flames, ignoring Nix’s father as he went to work setting up their tent. Faintly, Nix could feel something booming, an echo of it. She frowned and looked at her uncle for an explanation. She mouthed the word, ‘Bombs?’ to him, and he nodded, his fingers slowly spelling out Atlanta. So it’d been a good thing they hadn’t made it into the city. She didn’t like to think about how close they’d made it to the city before they’d been stuck in the traffic snarl. Could they have been hurt or killed by the bombs if they’d still been stuck in the traffic?

“What about your ears?” Merle asked, reaching over to tug at one of her ears gently. “Those aids.”

Nix shrugged a shoulder at him. She honestly didn’t like them; they made her feel uncomfortable, and the sound they provided was always too quiet and too electronic. She could hear voices if she was close enough, and maybe other sounds like a car engine if it was loud enough. She missed out on other sounds that people with proper hearing had. Sometimes she preferred the silence her lack of hearing gave her; it left her more observant, and her sense of smell was sensitive. Hearing didn’t feel as important to her because she’d grown up without it. It took so long to scrounge up enough money for her clunky hearing aids that she’d gotten used to not being able to hear.

Over the next few days, people rolled up to their campsite. It was like they all had the same idea.

Nix recognised the parents and the kids. One of them used to be a cop, and Nix was uneasy at that, she knew her family’s history with those kinds of people. Different families had come along, more than what Nix expected. An older man with two young women came in an RV. So did a lone man with a dead look in his eyes. Several people who weren’t white. Nix hoped they’d stay away from her uncle, for their safety. She knew her dad was mostly fine with others who weren’t white, but his brother riled him up enough to get him to join in on his racist antics. He wouldn’t act like that in front of Nix, so she reckoned she’d have to hang around her dad and uncle to ease down the stupid racist acts Merle would start.

Merle would ease up if he spotted Nix hanging around, especially if she had her hearing aids in.

There were only a few other kids around Nix’s age – the two she’d seen before, and two Mexican kids, the boy younger than the girl. There were some other kids, but they were either older than her or younger than her.

One of the women – the one with the police officer – tried to talk to Nix once everyone finally settled down into their haphazard life in the camp. She saw the way Nix frowned at her, and the little girl held out her worn notepad, settling in the first page that had been shown to people over the years.

I’m deaf. My name is Nix Dixon.

The woman offered a sympathetic smile, asking for the notepad. Nix handed it over, watching the woman write down her response.

My name is Lori. The boy, Carl, is my son.
It’s nice to meet you.

Nix smiled a little, then nodded at Lori. The woman dropped the notepad when someone came up behind Nix. She looked around and saw her father approaching. She could read his lips just enough to see he was telling the woman to back the hell away from her.

Lori looked shocked that someone would be so angry over such a small interaction.

Nix was uncomfortable, and she turned to look at her father. ‘Stop.’ He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow at her. ‘She was saying hello.’

He wasn’t deterred. ‘You don’t know these people. They could be dangerous. You have to be extra careful.’

Nix looked down at the ground and clenched her jaw. He put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked back up at him. She tried using the old big sad eyes expression on him.

He shook his head, even though there was a small smile on his face. ‘You’re not five. Jesus, fine, go say hello to the other kids. Don’t let them take your knife off you.’

‘Thank you.’ Nix looked back at Lori, who was clearly surprised at the show of conversation. It was also clear she didn’t understand any sign language. Nix reached down, picked up her notepad, and wrote out the explanation to Lori.

Daryl is my dad. He means well. He said
I can come with you. Say hi to the others.

There was a pleased look on Lori’s face as she read the words. She nodded and then offered her hand to Nix, who accepted it. She glanced back at her father and saw the apprehension on his face. He nodded to her as she went, and Nix smiled in return.

The other two kids, Carl and the girl, looked excited to have a new friend.

Nix let go of Lori’s hand, and she looked at them and the woman with the shaved head. Nix looked at Lori and saw her walking to them, presumably telling them that Nix was deaf.

‘Hello, I’m Carol,’ the woman with the shaved head signed. It surprised Nix, who then pointed to the blonde girl and then to Carol. She nodded.

‘Daughter, mother,’ she signed to each, mouthing the words a little so Carol understood.

“Sophia is my daughter,” Carol said clearly. Nix was relieved that the woman didn’t exaggerate the way she spoke. It was always harder to tell what people were saying when they exaggerated their mouth movements.

Nix fingerspelled Sophia’s name, and the girl beamed at it. Nix then signed Carl’s name to include him because she saw the jealous look on his face. She didn’t understand boys and why they got so jealous so easily.

The three kids sat down at an odd plastic table, and Nix held her notepad out in clear view. Sophia and Carl took turns asking her questions, eager to talk to her.

It was nice and it made her feel a little bit normal, given their circumstances. In school, Nix hadn’t been normal, instead an outcast. Maybe she could finally have friends, and it only took the dead to start rising for it to happen. It was just her luck.

Sophia asked Nix if she could teach her how to sign, while Carl asked if she really was Daryl Dixon’s kid because he was scared of Daryl. It wasn’t surprising to Nix that people were scared of her father; he looked particularly menacing, especially since he hadn’t showered in a while, and he often glared at anyone who looked his way. Nix knew why he acted like that; he didn’t want anyone to hurt her.

 


 

 

‘I’m going hunting,’ Daryl told her. ‘Merle will look after you.’ Nix raised an eyebrow at her father, her arms crossing over her chest. He smiled at her. ‘You’ll look after Merle,’ he signed, and the two smiled and laughed quietly.

‘Stay safe,’ she told him.

‘Always.’ He kissed the top of her head before he got up and slung his crossbow over his back.

Nix watched him go, trying not to show her discomfort. Her father was the one she could depend on. Now that he was going to be gone for several days to go hunting, then Merle didn’t have anyone to stabilise him. Apart from Nix, and it was a job that she didn’t want to do. A few days passed, and Merle mostly left Nix to her things, and he stuck in his tent and smoked the days away. It was better that way; they could stay away from each other, and she’d be able to tell when he’d leave his tent; he stank like drugs and her sense of smell was far better than his could ever be. He’d ruined his nose because of coke.

Nix went and sat down beside Sophia. Carl was with his mom, and Sophia was desperate to get away from her dad. Barely a week into their stay at the campsite, Sophia admitted to Nix what her dad did to them, and Nix promised Sophia that she and her dad would help her if she needed to get free. It’d been a long month or so since everything had gotten out of hand for the world. Nix didn’t need to hear to know that the world had truly gone silent now. The days were difficult to track, but the weather kept them warm, let them know when the fall would start.

Has your dad taught you to hunt?

Nix looked at the notepad, letting it distract her from the English work Lori was making them do. She nodded at Sophia.

Before the world ended. Doesn’t want
me to go now the dead are undead.

Sophia nodded at the words on the page. She asked about Merle, which Nix reluctantly answered.

He’s weird in a bad way. Won’t hurt me
or the other kids. But I’d not go near him if
I were you.

Nix couldn’t help but grimace at the mention of her uncle. She looked over her shoulder back at him. He was having an argument with Shane, again. Shane wasn’t Carl’s dad like Nix initially thought, but his father and Shane used to work together in their town’s police department. She heaved a sigh and wondered if she should intervene. Merle couldn’t use sign language anyway; he never bothered to learn much aside from the extreme basics of it. Nix gave up and got up, walking over to Shane and Merle before they got too heated. No-one else would dare go against Merle, after learning how prone he was to violence. Nix braced herself before she stood between them. Merle stopped almost immediately, as did Shane.

‘What’s wrong?’ Nix signed to him. Merle knew that sign just because of the number of times she’d signed it to him.

“Shane here doesn’t think I should go on the group run into the city,” Merle said, his hands on his knees as he bent down to be at her height. “What do you think, Nixie Pixie?”

Nix tilted her head to the side. ‘Dad would want you here – so that I’m not alone.’ She had to sign it slowly so he could understand her. With his lack of sign language, it made communicating harder between them.

Merle patted her head. “You’re more capable when I ain’t here.”

They both knew it was true. Nix could get things done in relative peace, and Merle would probably be off pissing other people off, which wasn’t a change from how he usually was around people. Nix wasn’t in control of him, but she had to look out for him, for her dad’s sake. But if Merle wanted to go on this stupid run, then she was going to go, regardless of what Nix would try and say to him.

‘Don’t end up dead,’ she signed to him. She watched as Merle laughed. He stood back up, talking over her head to Shane.

Shane put a hand on Nix, who flinched, the terror filling her up. Merle was quick to pull her out of his grip, anger lining his face. Merle pointed at Shane, pulling Nix close to his side, turning so that he was shielding her from the cop. She held onto Merle’s ratty t-shirt, knowing how dangerous he could be. “Don’t you dare touch my niece,” Merle said clearly.

So it wasn’t just Nix who didn’t trust Shane. At least Merle was smart enough to not trust the man. But then again, Dixons didn’t get along with cops anyway. Maybe that was an instinct at this point. From Nix’s viewpoint, she could see the confusion and annoyance on Shane’s face. She struggled to read what he was saying, but the way that Merle tensed up beside her, she knew that it was nothing good.

Nix pulled on his arm, pulling away from him just enough. Merle looked down at her. ‘Leave it. Cops are bastards.’

“Yeah, they are,” Merle agreed, amused at her signs as Shane looked at her with confusion written across his face. She was glad he didn’t understand her; she didn’t want him to.

In the end, Merle went on the run with the rest of the group. Nix wasn’t too worried; Merle couldn’t be killed by anyone but himself. Nix spent the rest of her day at the Dixons’ tent and campfire, out of the way of Lori and Carol, who tried to get her to join in on the schooling they were giving their kids. When Glenn came back in an expensive car, with its loud alarm going off apparently, he could only give her a sad look. She frowned at him and wanted him to just admit that Merle was a casualty to the run. Nix didn’t get the chance to try and ask when the rest of the group came back, and when Carl and Lori were reunited with a police officer who was new to the group, her need to know if Merle was OK was put firmly on the backburner.

Nix tried to not let it show on her face just how much it hurt her. It always felt like just because she was deaf, she could be put to the side to be dealt with later. People often forgot that she still had feelings and was a human being, and was just as smart as any other kid her age, if not smarter.

That night, Glenn sat next to her at the main campfire. Lori and Carl were with the new guy, who Sophia said was Rick Grimes, Carl’s father. Nix couldn’t help but feel a bit of resentment towards him. He spoke about his situation, and Nix could only catch a few words off his lips here and there. Mostly about the walkers he found along the way, the ones who chased after him and Glenn. He even brought up how the walkers managed to climb a chain-link fence to try and get to them. The dead were completely terrifying. Rick continued to tell them about how he’d woken up from a coma to find the world had ended; he was left in a hospital that was in complete disarray with no nurses to help him, and corpses were strewn everywhere he looked. Nix resented him, but she couldn’t help but feel bad for him to wake up to an empty, undead world.

Rick finally noticed her staring at him. Glenn was quick to tell him Nix was Merle’s niece, and that she was deaf. She caught the surprised look on his face at that fact – that a deaf kid had survived so long and managed to grow up with Merle Dixon, of all people.

‘You know my dad is going to be mad!’ She tried her best to emphasise mad, how mad her dad would be. They’d seen him and Merle around camp and knew how quick to anger the two could be, always on the defence. Did they think that Daryl would take the news calmly?

T-Dog caught her attention. “Merle’s handcuffed to the roof,” he said, and Nix frowned at him like that was useful to her. All that would do was kill Merle faster, from dehydration to sunstroke, the whole nine yards. And that was if the dead didn’t manage to get to him and tear him to pieces.

‘That doesn’t help.’ Nix gave up signing when everyone looked at each other, clueless as to what she was trying to tell them. Glenn, ever thoughtful, offered her a fresh notepad and pen to her.

My dad is going to be mad. Why was Merle left
on the roof? Is he dead? Why did he get left behind
in the first place?

She watched as Glenn read out her questions, and she watched Rick’s expression carefully, and the way he spoke. Beside her, Glenn was writing down what he was saying for her to read.

Merle was out of control. He threatened the group,
T-Dog handcuffed him to the roof but chained the
door so walkers can’t get in. If he had stayed calm
then he’d be here with us right now.

I knew he shouldn’t have gone on the run with
you into the city. I should tell my dad when he
gets back. If anyone else tries, he’ll go mental.

Nix watched as Glenn read out her words for her. Rick looked at her and asked if she was sure.

‘I’m telling him,’ she signed firmly, and it looked like he got the message.

 


 

 

Sophia led Nix along to play with the others in the dirt. It was fun, more so than what the girl expected, and it felt like she could get along with them. Sophia was always the one to go to her first, asking if she wanted to join in with their fun and games. It was almost like the others were afraid of her or were maybe unsure of how to go about asking her to join. Nix found herself becoming close friends with Sophia, mainly because of her willingness to try and talk to her and to learn sign language. Things were going well until one of the other kids screamed and ran away from them. Nix saw the panic rise in their group as they all retreated.

Nix, being a dumb child, went towards whatever scared the other kids.

It turned out to be a walker and it was eating a deer. There were some crossbow bolts in the deer’s corpse that she recognised as belonging to her father.

Damn, we could’ve eaten that, feed the whole camp, she thought as she pulled out her knife. Nix was surprised that the creature hadn’t noticed her there. This was the first time she had gotten to see one of them up close and personal, able to smell its decaying flesh. It was terrifying. Nix distantly wondered how scary the noises it made would be.

Behind her, others appeared from the camp and stood in front of her. A hand found itself on her arm and she shoved them away angrily. People always touched her, and she hated it. It made her feel scared and uncomfortable. Why did people always think it was OK to touch her?

The walker realised that there were more people for it to attack. It got to its feet and snarled at them.

Nix was the only that reacted fast enough.

She shoved past the men and grunted as she kicked out the knee of the walker. It fell to its knees, and Nix stabbed it through the top of its head. It stopped mid-roar, arms falling limp. She didn’t even notice it tried to grab her. She pressed her lips together tightly as she yanked her knife out. The walker dropped like a sack of stones, truly dead. Shit, she’d been able to kill one without the help of the adults.

She crouched down and wiped the blade on the walker’s clothes.

The bushes moved in front of her, and the men raised their weapons, but then Daryl Dixon appeared. Nix was relieved to see her father.

He looked surprised that she was there in the middle of the chaos. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, ignoring the others there, his eyes only on her.

She gestured to the dead walker. ‘Dead. I killed it. It ate your deer. I need to talk to you.’ She watched as he looked between her, the walker, and the deer. He shook his head, then channelled his anger towards the walker and took his bolts from the deer.

‘I have squirrels.’ He showed her the squirrels, and she nodded her appreciation at the number of them he had all tied together.

It made Nix feel more at ease when he reached out and took hold of her hand. He led her away from the deer carcass and the dead walker. They made it back into camp, and then she realised her dad was shouting for her uncle. Nix sighed a little, then pulled on Daryl’s hand.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked again, eyes on hers.

How was she supposed to tell him? That kept her up all night, and there was no good way to go about it. ‘Promise you won’t get mad?’ He raised an eyebrow at her before signing his promise. ‘Merle went on a group run into the city. Merle was Merle. He put their lives at risk and …’ she paused, trying to think of how to sign it. ‘I think he’s alive, but he’s stuck on a roof. He’s safe from the dead though.’

She watched as her father crouched in front of her, keeping their eyes level. ‘You think he’s alive?’

Nix didn’t like the emphasis he put on the word. All she could do was shrug meekly. ‘I didn’t go, did I? But he should be safe where they left him.’

‘Who left him?’

‘I don’t know the blonde lady, I think that’s Andrea, the Asian guy who goes on runs all the time, Glenn. That black lady and the black guy, T-Dog. I don’t know the lady’s name. The Hispanic dude too. I don’t know his name either. But T-Dog chained the door shut, and Rick handcuffed him,’

“Rick?” he asked, looking back at the guys who’d been watching their conversation, clearly confused as to how Daryl could be so different around Nix.

Rick stepped up and held his hand out to him in what was supposed to be a peaceful gesture. Nix stepped away, watching how Rick tried to take control of the situation, but only managed to agitate her father even more. Maybe she could’ve explained it differently. Lori pulled her away, out of the way as Daryl and Rick got into a scuffle. Shane came in and put her father in a chokehold. Nix sat down in the dirt and watched the men. Cops and the Dixons didn’t mix well.

Sophia crouched next to her, holding out her notepad. Nix took it and looked at the words the other girl had written on the page: Your dad is scary when he’s mad.

Nix nodded then glanced back at her father before writing out: He just misses Merle. He’s protective over family.

It didn’t surprise either of them when Daryl claimed he wanted to go and get Merle from his rooftop grave. Daryl saw the look on Nix’s face, then came and kneeled in front of her, ignoring Sophia completely.

‘He needs us.’

Nix’s eyebrows came together at that. ‘I know. But don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose you.’ Daryl nodded and then pulled her forward so he could kiss her forehead.

In the end, Daryl, Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog went to go get Merle back from the rooftop in Atlanta. Daryl, awkward as ever, asked if Carol could keep an eye on Nix while he was gone. Carol agreed, though flinched when her husband said something about freeloaders. Daryl told the husband to get fucked, and the man went back to his tent.

Sophia learned some more sign language, memorising the alphabet. Nix taught her some more stuff, and Carl annoyed them because that was what boys did. That night, they had a campfire fish fry from what the blonde sisters caught earlier. Nix saw the string of fish they’d brought into camp, and she and Sophia stared in awe as Carl begged to be taught how to fish.

They were in the middle of the fish fry when the walkers attacked, under the cover of night. Nix was tense the entire time; no-one was on lookout. The people were enjoying themselves like this was some stupid camping trip. Shane saw the way she was fidgeting with her knife and tried to get her to give it over to him because Carl was jealous that she had one. Carol told him to leave her alone, but it was all quickly forgotten when the walkers came to camp. Nix held Sophia’s hand as they scrambled to their feet, and everyone rushed around them. Nix tried to push for the RV, where they could try and hide inside it.

There were so many walkers.

Carol and Lori pulled the two girls and Carl closer, and Nix could see them screaming and crying, even though she couldn’t hear it or whatever awful noises were happening around camp. Shane was with them, shooting every walker that dared to come near them. A walker even grabbed Sophia’s leg, and the girl screamed. Nix stabbed it before Shane even noticed the walker was there. Nix was beyond relieved when she saw her father and the others return, taking care of the rest of the walkers that snuck into their camp.

Once the shooting had all stopped, Nix looked around at the massacre before them. The families that had come to the camp were in pieces, blood pouring from bite wounds. She let Carol and Sophia hold onto her as she looked around, panting heavily as she realised just how close to death they’d all been. Rick and Daryl rushed towards them, and Nix pried herself out of Carol and Sophia’s hold and threw herself at her father, clinging to him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her just as tightly and lifted her off her feet. She belatedly realised that his tank top was getting wet from her tears. When did she start crying? She looked up over her father’s shoulder, and she could see the others scattered around the campsite, looking at what happened. Everyone was slowly realising that they weren’t safe.

They had to leave.

 


 

 

‘Do you want to leave?’ Daryl asked Nix once the sun finally came up. He’d taken a break from putting the walkers and the humans down. He crouched in front of her, his eyes on hers, making sure she was paying attention to him. ‘Me and you. On the road.’

Nix glanced back at the others, squinting as the sun rose higher in the sky. They’d been lucky when Daryl and the rest of the guys arrived. If it had just been them without the backup, Nix knew she’d be dead, and a lot of them would be too. She shook her head at her father. ‘Better in numbers.’

Daryl nodded, chewing on a fingernail. She reached out and pushed his hand away from his mouth. ‘Sorry I didn’t bring Merle back.’

‘It’s OK. He’s not dead.’

Daryl nodded his agreement; Merle couldn’t be dead. ‘Do you want to try your hearing aids?’ he signed after a moment of silence between them.

Nix shrugged a shoulder, avoiding looking at his face. ‘I don’t like it. It’s quiet when they work,’

‘Better than nothing at all.’ He held out the hearing aids to her. Nix pulled a face, nose scrunched up. Reluctantly, she took them and put them in her ears, flicking them on. The two waited, and Nix very faintly heard the beeping, and then Daryl clicked his fingers next to her ears.

“Nix?”

She worked her mouth. “Quiet,” she said, voice low and rough. Still, she treasured it when she could hear her father say her name, even if she hated every other sound on the planet. “Buh-better to hear th-than nothing.”

Nix hated talking. She didn’t grow up doing it. When she finally got her hearing aids, she had to learn how to talk. It wasn’t a fun experience, and she resented using her voice, always unsure of how to use it properly. She had other ways of communicating with people, better ways. The slight slur of her voice and the way she couldn’t say words quite right made people stare at her, and she felt like she already had too many reasons for them to be staring at her in the first place. She couldn’t pronounce most words, and they never had the money to get her a speech therapist, so she learned from her father and uncle – and their morally grey friends. It still made her very self-conscious, and she hated every second that she had her hearing aids in. It meant that people just assumed she understood the spoken word when she really didn’t.

Daryl nodded, though he sighed when he saw her apprehension. “I know you don’t like wearing ‘em, that sound is weird, but it’s gonna keep you safe. If you can hear the walkers, that gives you the advantage.” He signed his words so that Nix could still understand, but they weren’t in the same order as the spoken word.

Nix winced at the sound of footsteps on gravel. She looked around and saw Glenn approaching them.

“Hey, so on one of my runs into the city, I found these,” Glenn held his hand out, and Nix saw the fancy hearing aids there. Nix liked his voice, it was a sweet sound. “I didn’t know if they were gonna be useful or not, but it’s worth a try, right?”

“Thanks,” Daryl said, sounding genuine as Nix nodded and took them from him. Glenn nodded, then turned and walked away from them before he could put his foot in his mouth.

They were different, a newer type of behind-the-ear hearing aids. Hers were bigger and clunky. These were smaller, slimline in a way, and they could possibly fit her ears better. She let her dad sort out the hearing aids, tense as she took out the old ones and waited for the new ones. Daryl put them on her ears, fixing them up before he turned them on and clicked his fingers. The sound was louder and sharper, but it still didn’t sound natural. She made a noise in the back of her throat.

“Louder?”

Nix nodded, looking around. Faintly, she could just hear the sound of the fires where they were burning the walkers' bodies. If she strained her ears enough, she could hear the sound of conversations. It was odd, and she didn’t like it.

“Right, look at me.” She did as she was told. “This ain’t a good world, Nix. Last night fuckin’ proves it. You have to use those hearin’ aids.” Nix was thankful that he signed along, letting her get adjusted to everything, even though some of the words didn’t match up in time to the signs he made. His accent also made it hard to understand what he said, and she was still so unfamiliar with sound.

‘Batteries,’ she signed, feeling helpless. Was her life going to revolve around finding batteries for her hearing aids? Nix felt like she was going to become a liability, needing others to go out and find them for her.

“We will figure it out,” he said firmly. “But you have to keep ‘em on. I know you don’t like sound, but this will keep you safe. You’ll hear the walkers approachin’. In this world, you have to wear ‘em. Glenn can run for more batteries for you when you need ‘em.”

Nix shifted on her feet, uncomfortable. ‘It’s so loud. My head’s going to split.’

Daryl nodded, understanding her discomfort. “It was even louder before. But it’s better you can hear a little than not at all.” He shifted, pulling out a small gun from his waistband. He turned it around so that the grip was held out to her. “I ain’t stupid, I know Merle taught you. Show me you know how to use it safely.”

Nix took the gun. “Sah-safety off. On,” she said slowly, trying to form the words correctly, showing him the gun and the motions that went with it. “Cla-clip, full,” she said, taking it out, seeing the bullets in there. She frowned, thinking over the words and how to pronounce them. “I can dish- disassmem- diss –”

“Disassemble,” Daryl said encouragingly.

“Disassemble and re’semble it. Clean it too.” Nix looked at him and he nodded. She did as she had to, disassembling the gun before putting it back together. “Aim fur – for the he-head, don’t waste a bullet.” The words were thick and uncomfortable on her tongue. She didn’t want to speak at all.

“Well done,” Daryl said, smiling at her, though it was tight and didn’t reach his eyes. “You don’t use it unless you have to. Misuse it and I’ll take it away.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

Nix looked up at Shane. She didn’t like his voice. It sounded how she thought gravel did, all rough and uneven.

“Nix knows how. She’s been taught well.”

Nix nodded. “Respect th’gun. Don’t fuh-ck around with it.”

Daryl shot her a look. “Watch yer mouth,” he said sharply.

‘Sorry,’ she signed to her father.

“If she kills someone, hurts them, it’s on you,” Shane said, pointing a finger at Daryl, who looked completely unbothered by it. Neither of them liked Shane or his loudmouth or his attitude towards them.

When Shane turned his back on them, Nix stuck her tongue out at him childishly. Daryl grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back to him, and he gave her a holster for the gun. She put it on her belt and put the gun in. Once he was satisfied, Daryl took her over to Carol and Lori, who were with their children. Sophia was quiet; Nix knew she was trying to deal with the fact she’d lost her father in the massacre last night. Nix saw the bloodied tent where Mr Peletier had been moping around. Shane beat him up yesterday, which was yet another reason to steer clear of the cop. But at least he beat a wife-beater.

“Keep her safe.” Daryl said shortly.

“We will,” Lori said, and then her eyes landed on the gun visible on her. She looked at Daryl, her eyes going wide with anger. “She’s a child.”

“I kuh- know how t’use it.”

The others looked at her in surprise at the sound of her voice. She pushed her hair back, revealing the hearing aids.

“You can hear now?” Carl asked.

Nix shrugged before she nodded. ‘I don’t like using them. They make me feel weird. My voice is … weird too.’ Daryl translated her words for her, then told the mothers that Nix didn’t have a full grasp on speaking or the spoken word, and she was still learning that key skill.

Carol frowned at her slightly. “Why didn’t you use them before?”

She shrugged a shoulder at the woman’s question. ‘I don’t like them. Sound is a lot.’ Carol looked like she understood how she felt. They all kept each other company until Rick and the other men decided on where they would go next. They were going to go to the CDC.

Notes:

As of 13/08/23, this chapter has been edited.

If you're interested, you can find a playlist for Nix here

Chapter 2: The Farm

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Nix stuck by her father’s side in the truck, leaning against his arm, leeching the warmth he exuded. The engine was loud, and Nix tried to hold back the flinches, keeping an arm around her legs, the other around her father’s arm. She squinted away from the bright sun. The world was still shockingly loud to her, even after most of the sound had died in the world.

“Nixie?”

She made a noise in the back of her throat. She was alright at making those types of sounds, incoherent but audible. It was always a struggle trying to find her voice, her confidence in the skill severely lacking.

“I’m glad you’re keepin’ those hearing aids on.”

Nix nodded but couldn’t help but sigh a little, thinking hard before she spoke, words full of purpose. “What if the ss- CDC is a buh-bust?” Her hands moved along with the question, too used to signing. It was an odd experience.

“We’re figure it out. We ain’ goin’ to fuckin’ Fort Bennin’. Don’t give a shit what Shane says.”

“I duh-don’t like his voice. I don’t like him.”

Daryl glanced over at her. “I don’t like him either. Glad you’ve got your head on right.”

She was relieved that her father had the same gut instinct when it came to Shane Walsh. It was probably a side effect of being a Dixon, always distrustful of cops. They kept quiet, following the other vehicles along the long road. They came to a stop when the RV gave the signal. One of theirs, Jim, was bitten; it was his time to go. It was the same man who had a haunted look in his eyes when he first arrived at the campsite. He’d been a bit weird the day of the massacre, digging graves and talking in riddles.

Nix stayed in her father’s truck, waiting for the man to return. He did so not long after, and he told her about the run to the gas station down the road to try and get a radiator hose and some other items to help get the RV running just a little bit longer. Nix kept to herself and grabbed a book so she could be occupied by the story. Once the group returned with what they needed for the RV and fitted them, they resumed their drive into the city.

It was past sundown when they finally made it into the city, close enough to the CDC building. Nix stayed by her father’s side, though left enough space so that he could shoot his crossbow if need be. When they got to the building, they found the shutters down and it wouldn’t open, keeping them locked out. Nix felt the tension running through her back and down her spine, and her eyes were wide as she tried to spot any walkers nearby. The group started to panic, which Nix knew was something that could get them killed. They were making noise, and it was messing with Nix’s hearing aids, and it was going to attract walkers. In the dark distance, Nix could see corpses getting to their feet, ambling towards them, eager to eat what was making such noise.

The feedback in her ears made her wince, and she tried to ignore it, concentrating on the closeness of the walkers, and how they would get out of the mess they found themselves in.

“Nix!” She pressed herself to her father’s side, following him and the others as they tried to retreat, to escape the undead city.

Behind them, Rick was making even more noise, and it continued to mess with Nix’s hearing aids. She grimaced, eyes squeezed shut as the feedback ran through her ears, feeling like it was shooting through her brain. The sound of the shutters opening made them stop in their tracks. The silence afterwards was like a breath of fresh air to the deaf girl.

It was a rush, getting in and collecting all their stuff from their vehicles. Once the doors of the CDC shut behind them, Nix felt something akin to a sense of doom. The doctor – Edwin Jenner, did the man say? – was taking them away to an elevator. They went down, and Nix held onto her father’s tank top, not fond of how cramped they were in the tight space. She didn’t know these people all that well, much less the armed doctor who was standing too close for comfort. She was squashed a little between her father and Glenn, not to mention her father’s crossbow and his shotgun, but she didn’t mind so long as she was close to her father. Sophia was in front of her, looking at the ground, holding onto a doll that one of the Hispanic kids gave her before they separated from the main group.

“Claustrophobic?” Jenner asked, and Nix looked up to see him looking at her. She frowned up at him and felt like there was something off about him. She shook her head at him, hand resting on the hilt of her knife. “Well, you all look harmless enough, but I thought I’d have to keep an eye out on the little boy over there, looks like it’ll have to be you instead.”

Nix shrugged a shoulder, not sure what to say to that. She was relieved when the elevator doors opened, and they could get out of it. They followed the doctor down the corridors and went into a large room full of computers with a giant ring light above them. The adults talked to Dr Jenner before they were taken to another room so they could get their blood taken for the doctor to check. When he found out they’d been on the road for a few days and were light on food, he brought them to the communal dining room the doctors used to use.

She sat down at the table and found a seat closer to the main door. Daryl followed after her and went straight for the alcohol, which Nix expected him to do. She wondered if she would have to keep an eye on him and his drunken antics. The others talked, and it seemed the drunker they got, the more they forgot she was there. Then again, she didn’t make a sound, kept to herself, and ate the food that was on her plate in front of her. It was kind of amusing, seeing everyone so free for the first time in months, like the apocalypse wasn’t happening above their heads.

They were enjoying a hearty meal, with more food and alcohol than the group had seen since before the world ended. Nix used to hide the alcohol in her home from Merle so that they could avoid the ordeal of a drunken Merle Dixon. Nix was still suspicious of the doctor. When she looked over at him, she found he was already looking at her. Before Nix could sign her worries or bring concern, Shane voiced his thoughts. From the looks on everyone’s faces, it was what Nix had been thinking about the doctor.

At least she wasn’t the killjoy.

They ended up going to some communal area since the housing was shut down to save on power. Nix was surprised when the man mentioned the building had hot water. Even before the world went to shit, hot water was few and far between for Nix and Daryl. Jenner said something to them about not plugging in anything that drew power, leaning down to talk to them, and Nix didn’t really understand him, words coming out too fast for her to comprehend.

They went into their own rooms, and Nix was allowed to get into the shower first. It was relieving to be in there, getting all the sweat and grime off her skin. Once she was done, she changed into clean pyjamas, and she saw her dad sitting on the couch, waiting for her to finish. He kept her hearing aids for her whilst she was in there and had been cleaning them and handling the piping. Even though she hated the hearing aids, she appreciated how well her father knew to care for them. Once they were both clean, Daryl put on a show of reluctantly giving in and taking Nix on a trip to find the library.

Nix was eager to visit the library and see what genres of books they had stored there. She didn’t manage to get her hands on many books recently – her usual methods were stealing from charity stores that weren’t all charitable and borrowing from the library. If they were going to be staying at the CDC until further notice, then she wanted to get a good start on the fiction section they had.

‘I’ll come find you in a while so we can get a good night’s sleep.’

Nix nodded, letting him return to their room as she ventured through the corridors. She walked for a while until the library appeared around a corner and she stepped through the doorway. Carol, Sophia, and Carl were already in there, talking together. They waved at her as she approached, and Nix returned the gesture.

The library was less of a library and more of a games room; there were arcade games, a jukebox that wasn’t plugged in with a dartboard above it, a table tennis area and something that looked like a piano. There was even a tiki bar that probably had more alcohol stored away, and some coffee machines on some counters. There were a few bookshelves that were full of books, as well as some board games. Carl was messing with something that looked like checkers. There were some comfy-looking couches as well as some stools and metal chairs.

Nix She made her way over to them, spotting the book Sophia had in her hands, Matilda.

‘Matilda,’ Nix signed to Sophia, slowly spelling the name for her. Sophia smiled, fingers nervously following the signs. ‘Phoenix. Sophia.’ She pointed to each of them once she signed their names.

“Your name is Phoenix? I thought it was Nix?” Nix shrugged at Sophia’s question. For as long as she’d been alive, her father and uncle used her nickname. It felt more like her instead of her real name – which she couldn’t pronounce because the O and E together made a sound that always confused her.

The kids spent some time together in the library, looking over the different books, and it helped Nix forget about what was going on above them. Nix picked out the first Harry Potter book. She used to have a tattered, second-hand set of the whole series. It was the most her father could afford for her eleventh birthday. It still meant the world to her, and she used to treasure those copies she had for that short year. She could only carry essentials when they were planning on leaving for Atlanta, and seven books weren’t essential.

Carol patted Nix’s shoulder, then pointed over to the doorway where her father was standing. He had a façade of anger on his face that Nix could look straight through. The façade fell away when she caught his eye, and he smiled at her, warmth reaching his eyes. She waved to the others before she walked over to her dad, holding the book out to him. He took hold of it, nodding his head absently as he looked at it.

‘Of course,’ he signed to her before he put his arm around her shoulders, leading her out of the library. ‘Harry Potter?’ he signed to her once they’d gotten back to their room, the door shut and the lamps flickering on.

Nix nodded her head and sat down on the couch. He sat beside her, handing her the book back. ‘It’s nice to read.’

‘Good. You deserve something nice.’ Daryl kissed the side of her head, his roughened hand on her arm a warm comfort. Nix smiled a little, then leaned into his side, opening the book to the first page. ‘Maybe I can try and find those ring books for you later,’ Daryl suggested.

‘Do you mean Lord of the Rings, because I don’t think The Ring is based on a book.’

Daryl smiled. ‘Lord of the Rings,’ he confirmed, and let Nix read in peace.

The next day, things went wrong. After T-Dog served them breakfast, Dr Jenner showed them TS-19, on the big screen in the computer room. It was a brain in a person, and as they continued to watch, the light inside the brain died as something invaded the brain. Nix realised it was a person turning into a walker. She saw the synapses die, and the brainstem returned to life as the rest of the brain remained dark. It was red, whatever the virus was that turned a person into a walker. It scared Nix.

They left the computer room after Dale pointed out the clock on the wall that was counting down. Nix didn’t know the answer and figured she never would. Nix and the other kids went to their temporary housing units, only for the air con to turn itself off, and it was revealed to the group that they were low on fuel to keep the building running. They were trying to confront Dr Jenner, but then they ended up locked in the large computer room with Jenner, who refused to let them go or listen to their pleas. Nix felt herself starting to panic, and Daryl pulled her aside, crouching down so that they were at the same eye level.

‘We’re going to be OK. We’ll get the fuck out of here.’ Nix nodded but she knew he could see the fear in her eyes. He pulled her into a hug, and she couldn’t help but cry. She was scared but she had her father there with her, and she knew he would do what he could to make sure she would be safe.

Nix ended up sitting next to Sophia as her father tried to hack away at the metal door with a fire axe. The two girls held hands, terrified of their inevitable deaths. Nix didn’t know what the doctor said about their end, or what would happen to them, but she knew it was horrific from how everyone looked at the news. Nix was too scared to ask what would be in store for them, and how they would die. She couldn’t know. Shane went ballistic and almost shot Jenner, and Carol pulled Nix away so that she wouldn’t be caught in the firing line.

Rick continued to try and speak with Jenner, saying whatever meaningful things he could. The doctor looked around at them all, seeing their terrified expressions. It took what felt like several long moments before Jenner turned away from them, looking at the computer he was at, typing on his keyboard. Nix looked to where her father was standing by the door and saw it open for them.

They were let out of the CDC.

 


 

 

It was going to be too dark soon, and they didn’t have anywhere else to go. With the dead approaching from the sound of the explosion of the CDC, they had to find somewhere to hold up for the night. Rick knew a place. Their group drove there and got there in time as the sun started to set. They got in too easily, and it put everyone on edge. When they moved around a corner, Nix saw the walkers. They were eating people, too preoccupied by their feasts to realise they were there.

She couldn’t stop looking at the dead bodies. Carol turned Sophia away from it, putting her head to her chest to block the view. Lori did the same with Carl, but no-one was there for Nix. She could only stare in horror. It smelled awful and she couldn’t look away. But then the walkers realised they were there, watching them.

Lori grabbed Nix and pulled her to her side as Rick said something and raised his gun. The men continued to shoot until all the walkers were dead. Lori covered Nix and Carl as the shots rang out. Nix saw casings scatter on the floor.

And then they were running inside. Rick led the way, his gun up, ready for any threat. Nix watched her father and Shane back him up, with Dale behind them. They managed to get inside the nursing home, and Nix had to clasp her hands over her mouth at the sight of the bodies. There were so many bodies strewn around, bloodied, and torn apart. Daryl turned around and snapped at Sophia, and Nix grabbed the girl and put her hand over her mouth instead. Daryl glared at them for a second longer before Rick and Shane came up with a plan.

Nix, Carl and Sophia sat together, out of the way as the others set about barricading the door they’d come through. Carl and Nix Sophia’s hands, squishing her between them. Everyone ducked down, and Nix saw the shadow of the walker in front of the doors they’d just shut. T-Dog gave a signal, and they all rushed down the corridor to the others as fast as they could.

The adults got into an argument – Carol said something pissy, Andrea pissed Daryl off, and they weren’t safe. Daryl looked at Nix. ‘What do you think happened?’

‘Guns,’ she signed, looking around. The adults stared at her. She held her hands out like a gun and made noises with her mouth, pointing at the dead bodies. ‘The guns you gave them probably aren’t here.’

“See, she’s observant too – you gotta use those dumb bitch eyes o’ yours,” Daryl snapped at Andrea. Nix kicked his calf half-heartedly. “Y’all worried about the walkers? I’d be much more worried about the people who came and did all this.” Nix watched her father shoulder his bow and make a snarky remark to Andrea. He took hold of Nix’s shoulder and they left.

They holed up in a room upstairs, and Rick, Daryl and Shane returned with dire news. There weren’t any guns or food – the food that was left behind didn’t look appetising at all. However that wouldn’t stop Nix or Daryl if they had to eat it. Food was food, and they wouldn’t be picky about it – Nix would be willing to try dog or cat food if it was available.

Sophia asked if there was any water, and Shane handed the single bottle of water over to the girl. Daryl and Glenn poured out the canned food on paper plates, and Daryl drank some alcohol, though not too much. Nix ate her pitiful meal, ignoring the rest of the people around her. They were all miserable, and she didn’t need to see it. Dale went around handing plates of food to the others, Andrea and T-Dog, the latter out on watch on the stairs.

Daryl nudged her. ‘We’re going to Fort Benning.’

‘Why?’

‘No other choice.’

The sleep Nix got was uneasy and fitful. Sophia kept crying into her mother’s shoulder, and Nix kept dreaming of the dead bodies. Daryl was always awake when she was awake, and he reassured her and helped her get back to sleep.

In the morning, they sorted out their vehicles. They left behind Shane’s car and Daryl’s truck, though they kept Merle’s bike. It was better than nothing, and they needed to lose some of the cars to get all the gas they needed and get their asses out of the city. With the bike, they could scout ahead and find the best routes for the RV.

 


 

 

They ended up in a traffic snarl. They’d been driving for a while, and they were now far enough away from the CDC’s remains and Atlanta. It was bad on either side of the road. It’d been near impossible for all their cars to make it through unscathed. With no truck, Nix accompanied her father on Merle’s motorcycle. They both knew that Nix felt safer with him, especially since they’d left her hearing aids in the CDC, which was now something less than ashes.

Nix held onto her father tightly, her head tucked into his back as they led their way between the cars, trying to find a route for the RV to get through. They took the road slowly and carefully, only to come to a stop when the RV decided it was done, steam billowing out from under its hood.

Their group crowded around the RV, and Dale said something about the radiator hose, and Nix gave up and decided to go snooping around the abandoned cars. Nix made a noise of surprise, pulling out a rifle from the yellow car she’d been looking through. Shane was quick to notice and snatch it out of her hands, telling her off even though she couldn’t hear him. When his back was turned, she flipped her middle finger up at his back.

It was soon decided that they should search through the cars, to see if there was anything they could use, though Lori voiced her discomfort at the idea of taking things. Nix ignored her and kept to herself, sneaking between the cars, trying to find anything of use. If the woman was so uncomfortable, she could head back into Dale’s RV. Nix consistently returned to the RV with her findings, a few guns, food, and bottled water, alongside several knives. Shane was surprised when he looked at the items she acquired whilst her father could only look on, amused.

Nix grabbed her backpack, the tattered old one that Daryl got her for her first birthday in middle school. It lasted throughout the years, and now she was using it to hold survival gear. Nix held onto the bag straps briefly, glad of the familiarity of it in the new, scary world. She missed how things used to be, even if they hadn’t been in the best financial situation.

There were some packets of food that she stuffed into her bag, along with two separate bottles of water that were unopened. Nix’s jaw dropped when she spotted the sword, and she grabbed it without thinking, grinning to herself. She looked across the car to see Sophia there, and she showed it to her. Sophia looked a little unnerved at the sight of the blade, but she nodded. She looked away from Nix, and the girl’s face paled before she was ducking under the car. Nix looked the same way Sophia had, and her heart leapt into her throat; walkers by the hundred were approaching them. Nix ducked, hiding from view before she crawled underneath the car with Sophia.

Nix pulled her backpack underneath with her, the sword sheathed. Carefully, Nix pulled the sword on, the strap going over her chest, the sword resting against her back. Her bag was beside her, and Nix kept an arm looped through one of the straps as she looked at Sophia. Nix held the other girl’s hand and watched as she put her other hand over her nose and mouth, muffling any sound she would make. Nix kept her mouth shut tightly, tense as she watched the feet dragging along the ground next to them.

The dead feet shuffled past them, unaware that the humans were hidden beneath the cars. Across from them, Carl was under a car on his own, and Rick was under the one on his other side. Nix wished for the first time that she had her hearing aids in, to listen to the dead so that she could know when it was clear for them to get out from under the cars. This was one of the worst things she’d ever been through, and she could remember Will and Jesse’s demise in vivid detail.

It was a long, terrifying thing as the minutes stretched and the dead slowly moved, unaware of their group as they hid under the cars. Nix didn’t keep count of the seconds and concentrated on the girl next to her. Sophia was clinging to her doll, the terror on her face as she held onto Nix’s hand to the point of it hurting. Nix didn’t do anything about it, holding onto Sophia’s hand as she felt just as scared as the other girl. She didn’t want to let go, too scared of letting go, like it would make the dead notice them and drag them out from their hiding spot.

Slowly, the dead feet stumbling past them lessened. They waited with bated breath as the minutes passed, and then Sophia was pulling away from Nix, daring to go and see if the coast was clear. Nix jumped when Sophia jerked back in, and she saw the walkers coming for them. Nix pushed Sophia out from their hiding spot, and she got to her feet, seeing the walkers coming for them.

Nix kicked the knee in one of the closest walkers, then kicked it in the chest so it fell over while Sophia got to her feet. ‘Run.’

Sophia grabbed her hand, and then they climbed over the railing, sliding down the slope of the hill, avoiding the stinging nettles. Nix looked back up to see the walkers coming after them. There were four walkers in total on their trail. The two girls rushed away from the walkers, and Nix tried to lead the way, away from the herd, trying to sneak past the ones that were after them. Nix held onto Sophia, not daring to let go as she led her through the forest. She didn’t know where she was going, just desperate to try and find somewhere safe for them to hide until Daryl came looking for them. Her dad would always come and find her.

Nix looked around once more and spotted Rick Grimes through the thicket of the trees. She changed direction and pulled Sophia along. They caught up to him and Rick kneeled in front of them, speaking to Sophia. Nix offered him the sword, and he took it from her, and then the trio were running from the walkers again. Nix kept up to Rick’s pace as he gave up and carried Sophia. He could only carry one of them, and Sophia was nothing but bones. They jumped into a small lake, and Rick pushed them to go hide in a little alcove, telling them to stay put until he came back or to put the sun on their left shoulders if he didn’t return. Rick tried his best to get the message across to Nix so that she understood in case Sophia didn’t.

Nix held Sophia close to her, the girl scared as Rick waved the sword around as he stepped away from them. The sun glinted off the metal, and the four walkers fell into the lake and followed the man. Nix made Sophia wait until Rick and the walkers were out of sight. Sophia pried herself from Nix’s arms and made to get out of their new hiding spot, but Nix didn’t want to go, she wanted to wait until Rick got back. Though she knew that more walkers could find them, she’d rather be out there in the open where she could run instead of being trapped in the alcove.

The two girls helped each other climb back up onto the banking and they tried to make their way back to the highway. That was until something spooked Sophia, and then the girl was sprinting away in the opposite direction. Nix didn’t think twice following after her friend, trying to keep up with her frantic run. Nix managed to catch up to Sophia, and she made her stop for a moment.

‘Stay together.’ Her hands went down in the sign for Y, her palm down, and then she pressed her fists together, thumbs on top, shaking it up and down. It was clear to Sophia what Nix was telling her, especially when she mouthed along for emphasis. Sophia nodded, but she looked like she was going to burst into tears. Nix didn’t blame her; she was close to doing the same thing.

But Nix knew that she was the braver kid out of the two of them, and she knew she had to choose for them. They’d gone off the beaten path, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to get them back to the highway, not with how hard Sophia was shaking, unable to listen on Nix’s behalf. They needed to try and find somewhere safe so that they could wait there until Daryl came looking for them. Daryl had to come looking for them.

Sophia tugged on Nix’s hand, leading them in the wrong direction. Nix tried to get her to realise it, but Sophia kept shaking her head, and Nix could see the tears starting to streak down Sophia’s face. Nix didn’t know what to do, so they kept walking. She didn’t know how long they’d been walking for, but it didn’t ease the way her stomach churned with anxiety, and it got even worse when the sun started to set over the horizon. They looked around, and then Sophia shrieked at the sight of a walker stumbling towards them. Nix took out her knife, holding onto it tightly as Sophia stood behind her, hand hovering just above Nix’s shoulder.

Dixons don’t get scared, Nix thought to herself before she moved to the eager walker, dodging its hands as she kicked the knee out from under it. It fell to her level, snarling angrily, and she stabbed it through the forehead before it could grab her. The force she put behind the stab sent her falling on top of it, the blade sinking deeper into the flesh and brain matter. Nix breathed a sigh of relief, knowing it was truly dead. She yanked the knife out roughly and got back to her feet before she looked at Sophia.

She signed, ‘You OK?’ to Sophia, making her expression questioning. Sophia shook her head, face scrunching up as she tried to hold back the tears and fear. A horrified look made its way onto her face, and Sophia became impossibly paler. Nix looked around and pointed her knife up defensively.

It was a man.

Oh god, it was a man.

He put his rifle down, hands up in surrender to them. He was a large man, older and Nix didn’t know what to do. She wanted to run but she was frozen in place. He started talking, but Nix didn’t know what he was saying, and Sophia was unresponsive, especially now that a strange man was in front of them, and Sophia didn’t know how to translate the conversation even if she wasn’t so freaked out.

“I have somewhere safe,” the man said. Nix frowned up at him; Merle told her all about the things men would do to little girls like her and Sophia, back when he’d been told to babysit and drank himself half to death instead. “You won’t be hurt. I promise.” The man crossed his heart, and Nix knew what that meant. She wondered if the man knew it was a way to sign it in ASL.

Behind her, Sophia was shaking like a leaf, and her skin was getting clammy and cold. Neither of them were equipped to be outside. All Nix had was some food rations for one person for one day tucked in her backpack, and that was purely accidental. She didn’t have much of a choice in front of her. Nix glanced at Sophia, who gave a shaky nod of her head. They followed the man back to his safe place.

 


 

 

The man lived on a farm.

They got there, and the owner took one look at them before he let them in. It had to be the fact that they were wary little girls and that Sophia hadn’t stopped her violent trembling since the walkers chased them. They were just two girls alone in the apocalypse, and that was more than enough for the doors to be opened for them. It took less than ten seconds for these people to realise that Nix couldn’t hear a damn thing. Their leader brought out a notepad and pen and sat beside Nix at the dining table, writing in the notepad before he showed it to her. Sophia was on the other end of the table with one of the women, who was trying to reassure her and calm her down.

You and your friend are very lucky to
be here, that Otis found you before dark. We don’t
know what could have happened to you if you
hadn’t been found. My name is Hershel, and
Patricia is the one helping your friend.

Nix nodded, reading over his words before she took hold of the pen.

I’m Nix, that’s Sophia. We are with a
group. They’re on the highway and
will be waiting for us. Can you tell them
that you found us?

She pushed the notebook back to Hershel, wondering how things were going to play out for them at this farm. Hershel was quick to write out his response to her.

We cannot let anyone out this late at
night, but in the morning, I shall send
Maggie, my eldest, to your people. We
want nothing more than you to be
reunited with your friends and family.

Nix nodded. ‘Thank you,’ she signed to him, and he nodded to her. The oldest girl, Maggie, led Nix into the kitchen, where Patricia had moved Sophia and was now tending to Sophia’s scrapes and bruises. Sophia gave Nix a wobbly smile, and Nix sat beside her, taking hold of her hand. They were safe, for the time being.

Neither of the two girls slept much that night. They were too antsy, thinking about Carol and Daryl. They wanted their parents back and wanted to be with them, somewhere safe.

‘My mom?’

‘She’ll be OK,’ Nix signed back, trying to comfort her friend. The two wrapped each other up in their arms, beneath the covers of the bed they were sharing, allowed to stay in until they could be returned to their group.

In the morning, Maggie came back from her run empty-handed, only for Rick and Shane to appear with an unconscious Carl Grimes, who’d been shot by Otis. The two girls kept quiet, to the side, before they saw Rick and Shane. Seeing Carl all bloodied scared them.

The surprise was thick and obvious on Shane’s face. Nix knew he didn’t expect them to still be alive after surviving a night out there alone. But the two girls were full of surprises. Rick was thankful to see them, and embraced them in a tight hug, crying into their shoulders. Nix could feel the way he was talking to them, words muffled in their shoulders as he undoubtedly thanked God that they’d found the safety of the farm.

Rick kneeled in front of the two girls, smiling at them despite the situation his son was in. “I’m glad you’re here, alive, safe. Your mom and your dad will be happy to see you.”

Nix smiled at him, and Sophia did too. They looked back up at Shane, who didn’t quite have the same thankful look in his eyes. Nix felt the tension running underneath her skin, uncomfortable with the look on his face. Nix wouldn’t trust Shane with sorting out a dog’s dinner, never mind an entire group of humans trying to survive the apocalypse. There was something in his eyes that scared Nix, and it had her on edge whenever she was around him. Nix wanted her dad back, just to feel a little bit safe with being around Shane.

Throughout the day, the others from their group came to the farm. T-Dog came with a rough-looking arm that was covered in blood and bandages. Carol and Daryl all but ran into the house, trying to find their kids.

Nix jumped to her feet and ran at her father, jumping into his arms, and holding onto him as tightly as she could. She didn’t tell Sophia, but there were several painful moments when she thought they’d never see their parents again. They’d been so panicked, falling off the trail that got Nix all confused and scared. But they were safe now, and their parents were with them once more.

Shane left with Otis to try and get some medical equipment Hershel needed so that he could operate on Carl to save his life. The hour grew late, and it was only Shane that returned. Nix didn’t verbalise her thoughts, but when she looked up at her father, she knew he caught onto it too. They knew that Shane must’ve killed Otis out there. Nix didn’t want to know how Shane did it, and she took the time to mourn the man who lost his life; he was the reason she and Sophia were back with their parents once more.

Over their stay at the farm with Hershel and his family, Carl slowly recovered from his gunshot wound. Nix and Sophia weren’t allowed to venture far from their parents and had to stay in their line of sight at all times. Nix was happy to oblige with whatever her father wanted her to do; she didn’t plan to leave her father’s side again any time soon.

Daryl spent hours teaching Nix more ways to defend herself. Carol and Sophia approached them, asking if Daryl could teach Sophia too. Daryl looked at Nix, who signed, ‘Please,’ to him, desperate for herself and Sophia to never feel as scared as they had been running through the trees all alone. Daryl sighed before he nodded, talking it over with Carol as Sophia smiled at Nix, pleased to learn something useful.

After they trained with Daryl, the two girls would do schoolwork alongside Carl. Then they would learn some new phrases or words in ASL – or rather, Sophia and Carl would ask for a sign or sentence, and Nix would sign it out for them and teach them the language. Her friends would repeat it, and Nix would correct any errors if they made a mistake. It was nice that they were trying to learn how to communicate with her, especially since she no longer had any hearing aids, and she doubted she’d ever get any more ever again.

The others in their group join in on occasion. They learned the alphabet and some basic sign language, which helped when Nix wanted to get something across to them or talk to someone other than her father, Carl and Sophia. Though Daryl was often left translating for her, she didn’t have to try and read lips as often; it helped when they tried their own hand at sign language instead of leaving all the work to her. Nix felt like a part of their group, felt included now and it made her heart feel all warm and fuzzy in a new way she had to try and get used to.

It wasn’t a great experience when the group learned that Hershel was keeping walkers in the barn. That didn’t go down well, and Hershel almost kicked them out when Shane led the others to go and shook the walkers as they came out of the barn he broke open. They could only watch in horror as the two Hispanic kids from the Atlanta camp came out last. Hershel only agreed to let them stay on the farm because of Nix, Sophia, and Carl, and Lori when she revealed to everyone that she was pregnant.

Nix was terrified when she watched Shane lose his cool and break open the barn. She knew he was starting to become unstable, losing control more often, and he was going to reap the consequences. Nix didn’t want to be there when it all came tumbling down around the man.

Maggie took the time out of her day to teach Nix and Sophia how to ride horses. Sophia picked up the skill faster and far better than Nix could. Nix still learned, trying her best with the horse that seemed as stubborn as her. Nix knew there would be a time in the future when there would be no more fuel for cars, and they would need to use horses and other cattle once more. The horses were like riding her dad’s motorbike, except they were sentient and skittish and absolute assholes.

‘How are you?’ Sophia asked, her hands confident as she went over the signs.

Nix smiled. ‘I’m good. You?’

‘Happy.’ Nix raised an eyebrow at Sophia. ‘I have my mom. I have friends and family.’

Nix guessed that was as good a reason to be happy. They even had a place to stay. Nix thought they had something good at the farm, but she was scared that something would happen, like back in the camp outside of Atlanta. They’d have to leave again and search for somewhere else to live, but they were going to have to deal with a baby, and how could they do that if the baby brought down the dead on them? She didn’t want to move around so much with the walkers ready to breathe down their necks and tear them apart.

As the colder weather started to settle in, the group moved into Hershel’s large farmhouse. Nix turned thirteen during the cooling months, but they didn’t have time to celebrate. Instead, they prioritised putting food, water, and essentials in the basement for when they would be needed. Nix felt optimistic about the whole thing, though she was wary of the lack of security around the farm. The farm itself was a hotspot with the cattle and the number of people living there, and it didn’t help that they were still somewhat close to towns and larger cities. The others agreed with her when she pointed out the need for more security, especially as they still had to deal with Randall and the threat that he and his big mystery group brought.

Until they didn’t. The kid escaped, though Nix didn’t know how true the statement from Shane was; the man returned with a bloodied nose, shouting bloodier murder. Lori and Carol were quick to usher Nix, Sophia, and Carl inside the house. Nix wanted to know what was going on, but she saw their men in the group running out into the forest with guns and flashlights. There was nothing she could do except wait for when they returned.

Nix went into the small space where she’d been sleeping, and she grabbed her coat, sword, and backpack. She felt ready for whatever was going to go their way. Her optimism vanished, and now she was scared of what was going to happen and what she needed to do. When she made it back to the others, she noticed the way they all tensed up, scared.

‘Gunfire,’ Sophia told her when no-one else did, then looked around as Lori rushed throughout the house. ‘Carl’s gone.’

‘Carl is so dumb.’ Nix pursed her lips a little, which made Sophia giggle.

It wasn’t long after that that things went downhill. Walkers, a large herd of them, were approaching the farm. The gunshots outside were leading them straight to the farm. Things got crazy and out of hand before Nix could realise what was truly happening. Sophia left Nix’s side, and Lori ran outside, and Nix was clueless as to what she should do. Nix went down to the basement and grabbed some food, water, and some guns she knew she could use. She shoved it all into her backpack and slung it back onto her back before she ran out of the house.

She couldn’t hear the screams or the snarls, but she could see her people running around, trying to escape the walkers.

Nix found herself being forced into a corner with several walkers approaching her. She did her best, slashing at them, cutting their heads in half with the sword she owned. She didn’t know how to use the sword properly, her stance was off, but Nix was going to be effective with the sword and take out as many walkers as she could. She tripped over a walker she already killed, and the last one she was trying to kill fell on top of her, snarling in her face. Nix held her breath, wincing as she pulled out her knife and stabbed it in the head.

The body was cold when it dropped on her, and she struggled as she pulled herself out from under it, grabbing the sword as she went. There were too many walkers around her, so Nix had to run. She didn’t know which way she was going, but she was going to avoid the walkers at all costs. The night slowly turned into day, but she couldn’t stop running, moving, and leaving the farm behind. If she stopped, she knew that the dead would be on her before she had the chance to fight back. She had to keep moving, she couldn’t die alone in the forest.

She had to find somewhere safe – find the others.

 


 

 

When Nix made it back to the highway, where she and Sophia had run from those walkers, she found it empty of people. The sun was high in the sky, and there wasn’t any insight as to where the others could’ve gone. There was no RV, no sign of Merle’s bike that was now her father’s. He told her that if they were ever separated whilst on the farm, to return to the site where she and Sophia ran from the dead. That was always the plan with everyone if the worst happened.

Did they leave her behind?

They couldn’t have. Her dad wouldn’t ever leave her behind. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure she was OK, that she was alive and safe and right there beside him.

They couldn’t have left her. Could they?

Nix knew that she couldn’t stay on the highway; walkers would be coming out of the city with nothing left to eat, and Nix couldn’t hear. She could feel the panic building up and she forced herself to breathe normally. Nix knew she would be fine. She was a Dixon. Nothing could kill her but a Dixon. The same went for her father and uncle.

Keeping it together, Nix searched through the cars, collecting another backpack with essentials she would need; period pads, bottled water, food, a gun with some ammo, along with more knives than she anticipated, and a sharpener for her blades, which would help make sure her blades wouldn’t be dulled down to nothing.

Nix did her best to keep herself composed, refusing to let herself cry. The others were gone, and they must’ve thought she was dead the moment the walker fell on her back at the farm. But there she was, alone on the highway, living and breathing, hoping that her father would show up. Nix didn’t want to leave in case the others slowly turned up, but she knew it was worthless deep down. The others had cars; they would’ve made it back quicker than she did on foot. That was if they even came back to this spot.

OK, I can do this, she thought to herself, nodding like that would help confirm it, would help her get through the rest of her life in the apocalypse. She didn’t like thinking about how short her life would be, deaf and alone at the end of the world.

Notes:

As of 16/01/24, this chapter has been edited.

Chapter 3: A Year Alone

Chapter Text

It had been getting colder and colder as each day passed. Nix had found refuge in a meat locker. It smelled like blood and flesh, but Nix did her best to ignore it; there were worse scents to be surrounded by, and she was thankful for the shelter the meat locker provided. It helped that she could get through winter in there, holed up away from the dead. She had also found several blankets that she had been quick to make use of, using them to help preserve her warmth. It was cold in the meat locker, so Nix found herself wrapped up tight with as many blankest as she could manage, trying to preserve her body heat.

It amazed her that she had been able to keep herself alive during the freezing winter months. Nix had done her best, dealing with the cold, half-frozen walkers, the harsh weather, the risks of being around unfriendly people. Nix knew she was lucky whenever she came across canned food, and she didn’t take it for granted. Even when she found canned food that she didn’t like, she kept it and ate it; her dad would be proud to see her eating all the food that she found gross. It made her miss him more and more.

Thinking about her father hurt something awful, tearing at her heart. She had no idea where he was, or if he had even made it off Hershel’s farm. Nix had to keep hope alive and believe that he had gotten away from the farm. She hoped that the others had made it away unscathed. Just thinking about the others brought tears to her eyes, wondering what they were doing, if they thought about her and if she truly was dead or not. She knew Shane would be quick to believe her to be dead once more; he had never had faith in her or Sophia, but they had proved him wrong once before.

The cold weather left Nix cautious; if she were to become sick or unwell, she didn’t have anyone to look out for her. It was something that frightened her, the idea of being sick and dying alone. When she had been young and ill with her father by her side, it had still been a scary ordeal, always getting worried when too much vomit left her body, unable to replenish what she lost. She couldn’t let herself get too sick that she couldn’t take care of herself. Life for Nix was already hard, being alone, the inability to hear. Nix was always on edge, and she didn’t know if she would wake up the next day or be dead.

Regardless, she did her best to keep herself alive.

Nix was sat in the gross meat locker, a candle lit beside her as she pretended to listen to the snowstorm outside. She’d seen the start of it earlier in the day, the flurry of snow coming down to the earth. It was too dark now, and she was stuck inside her safe haven. If she tried hard enough, it felt like she could feel the storm outside, especially when she let her head rest against the cold wall. It made her feel human, and she could pretend for a precious few seconds that the end of the world hadn’t happened, that she was in her ratty old house and not in a meat locker.

She pulled her blankets around herself tightly, curling up on the floor, head resting on an old pillow that smelled like tobacco and weed. She looked at the candle, blinded by the flame as it danced upwards towards the ceiling.

In her head, she could almost see her dad, signing to her, telling her what to do. It had already been a rare case to be able to hear him with her old, clunky hearing aids, with the newer ones Glenn had found for her. But now she didn’t have that luxury anymore, and she was starting to forget what he sounded like. It was hard to remember sound, hard to remember how to make a sound, to form words. She tried to cling to the memory of her father saying her name, comforting her.

Nix blew out the flame, able to smell the scent of burnt cake candles, and she shut her eyes tight. Her dad was there, in her head, hands moving over the signs he’d made a lot since the end of the world. It eased her body, letting a little tension leave her.

Be safe.

Don’t let your guard down.

Keep that gun handy.

Don’t lose your knife.

Stay alive.

I’ll keep you safe.

Look out for the dead.

We’ll be safer together.

Nix tried not to think about how much she missed her father, the intense hole he left behind in her heart. Now she was all alone, and her father wasn’t there to protect her like he used to. Nix didn’t know what to do, how she would be able to survive without someone there to be her ears. She didn’t like to think long term and had decided to just survive somehow to see the next sunrise. Surviving another day alone in the apocalypse meant she had lived longer than she ever had.

It was hard trying to get to sleep, she felt like she was always in and out of it, never fully resting, body too tense to ever let her do something like that alone. It was hard to let her guard down. Her eyes were shut, her ears unreliable. She had to rely on her sense of smell, her sense of touch; she could never truly relax in the state she was in, too terrified to do something so monumental, lest she found herself being torn apart, screaming a sound she would never hear.

Winter alone scared Nix. How was she supposed to go the rest of her life in the apocalypse?

 


 

 

As winter eased up, with spring slowly making an appearance, Nix decided to move on.

She set about moving around the town she was in, gathering as many supplies as she could carry in her backpacks, in the little pull along cart that she’d found in a house. The cart was green, and it reminded her of Daryl, so she kept it for that, and for how useful it proved to be.

It probably made noise, wheels rattling on concrete, but Nix couldn’t help but see the upside to having it around.

The weather lightened up, but she kept the things that would keep her alive – food, water, blankets, clothes and weapons – close by. The blankets and some of her food were left in the pull along cart. Her essentials were kept on her person, as she was too terrified to be kept away from them for long periods of time.

There was no real direction to go in. It left Nix curious as to what she would do; go down to Florida, risk the gators for a boat? That was if there were any boats left after everyone and their mom had gone there to get the best boats when things had first started to turn for the worst. Or would she go up north, where the cold incapacitated the dead for her? Would she go west, further in the country, into more land of the dead, or go east, closer to that coast instead?

Nowhere felt like a good choice to go. But Nix had the rest of her life, and the whole of America to travel. She had to find somewhere to start.

Nix thought about how many she could travel up into Canada, or down into Mexico; she was used to intense heat from living in Georgia with a busted AC, so maybe Mexico would be the place to go? However, she didn’t speak Spanish, and could only sign ASL. Steering clear of Mexico sounded better, just so that she wouldn’t get into trouble for the lack of verbal languages in her skillset.

In a way, Nix wanted to go wherever her dad would be, but she didn’t know where, specifically, that would be. She knew he wouldn’t go further, deeper into the west. He probably wouldn’t go down to Florida. Maybe up north, or to the east, just to get away from the Georgian heat and the cities full of the dead.

She settled on going northeast. Maybe she’d come across the others doing that. What else did she have to lose? Her shoe soles, maybe.

It was a good thing that Merle had taught her how to hotwire a car. However, driving the damn thing itself would prove to be a challenge. She had only driven a car maybe once or twice in her life, in a parking lot when her dad had won a bet and they’d felt like celebrating with some pizza.

Maybe just walking and trying to find good shoes, and maybe learning how to resole them would benefit her. There were so many skills that Nix needed to learn, and she was almost at a loss as to where to start, so figuring out how to fix her shoe soles would be a good place to start.

Each day had the weather getting warmer and warmer. Nix found herself some hats and sunscreen to protect her from the rays of the sun if just a little. She found herself moving in the shadows, to get the damn sun off her back. The sun was intense, and Nix didn’t want to give herself heatstroke; she had seen Merle get it too many times to count, and she didn’t want to be that sick without someone there for her.

Some nights, she spent them in the forests, where it was cooler at night. She’d put her cart in the trees, tied up in case it tried to fall. Then she would tie a rope around her legs and her middle, so if she moved on the branches, she wouldn’t fall to her doom. She was too far into the countryside to be anywhere near a house, walking along long winding roads with nothing but her possessions to keep her company.

Sleeping out in the wild meant mosquitos, and she used wild leeks to try and get them to leave her alone, to ease the annoying bites to her skin. It also meant that she learned about the dead. They moved in herds, and whenever they had a distraction – a noise Nix couldn’t hear – they’d turn around in that direction. When one brushed past another, that set the second one in motion and often led to a chain reaction of movement. Nix observed the dead. They didn’t notice her up in the trees, despite her scent. It made Nix curious about them, not that she would go near them if she didn’t have to, but it was nice to observe them, to see what made them the undead beasts that had ended the world.

The walkers had tunnel vision of sorts; Nix had surmised after several long nights watching the dead amble past. It was an amusing thought.

The heat from summer felt like an age, seeping deep into her skin, a constant soak, and Nix was constantly moving. Walker after walker tried to attack her, but she had learned. She looked around, kept herself quiet, and oiled those stupid wheels on the pull along cart when she thought they might be making too much noise. Nix had even found a bow and some arrows and had learned how to use the weapon once more.

Her father had taught her how to use a bow, specifically a barebow, using an old bow of his. Nix had never been able to get one of her own that suited her strength, arrows her size. They had made do with Daryl’s hand-me-downs. This new barebow she had found helped her, proved to herself that she was good, could hit moving targets in the kill zone. The only thing was, it often left her with no sight on her left, being right hand and right eye dominant; it gave the dead the chance to try and sneak up on her and kill her. Nix had to trust her other senses aside from her sight, and more than once she had almost slipped up and gotten herself killed.

Every single time it came that close, it was always the feeling of cold coming in that had her moving as quickly as her body would let her, an arrow pushed up into the head of the walker that had snuck up on her.

Nix kept walking. It was one of the things she was good at. She did her best when hunting squirrels to eat; one or two could sustain her as a meal each day. In a way it helped; she only had to hunt for herself, and animals could be scarce when they wanted to be. She only had to look out for herself, just one life held in her hands. However, there was no-one to watch her back, to be her ears. She had to protect herself, to learn how to do that quickly in a world that was out for her blood.

Surviving alone made her think it was possible for her to do it for as long as she needed. How many other people could claim they had survived for so long alone, deaf and so young?

Something had changed in Nix’s head. The lack of human interactions left her dreaming of things that could’ve happened if she had been found during the walker attack on the farm and if she had been quicker in getting to the highway. The dreams left her waking with a lack of air in her lungs, sweat sticking to her skin, tears burning at her eyes. She hated those brief moments where she could do nothing but cry and experience her loss once more in one fell swoop.

It didn’t do well to dwell on the past, but she missed the people she had survived with. She missed her father and her uncle, the small family that they’d had. It had been messy and full of faults, but it had been theirs, and it had been the one safe space that she’d ever had. Now it was gone, torn from her hands, and she knew she’d never get it back again.

The weather slowly turned colder once more, and it reminded Nix of her time at the farm, teaching Sophia and Carl how to sign. If they were still alive, would they be practising still? Would they be asking Daryl for tips, or would the act of sign hurt him, knowing she wasn’t there, thinking she was dead?

Or were they all dead, and she was the last one standing out of their group?

Nix knew she couldn’t be, not with how surviving an apocalypse fitted so easily as a description of her father, of her uncle. Maybe he had stuck around them, helped them survive in some shape or form. Nix wondered if Lori had given birth yet and hoped that she and the baby were both OK. Nix didn’t want to think that Lori was dead, or the unknown baby too. Maybe things were going well for them for once.

She knew that she’d never find out if Lori or the baby lived, but Nix wanted to have a bit of hope in her life.

Nix got used to wearing her thicker coats and clothing once more as winter came approaching from behind her, and her birthday surpassed her, leaving her at age fourteen. At least the walkers would calm down, unable to move as much in the weather. Nix thought that maybe she’d get more things done in the winter.

She was sat, holed up in an old house, watching as the first signs of snow pattered down. The garden out front probably used to look nice, but now the dead flowers had decayed away, the lawn overgrown. It was a house she never would have lived in before, maybe never in her life after she’d grown up. There was something about where she came from that made her understand how impossible it would have been for her to ever have a house so fancy. She felt like she was intruding on the space, but the people who had lived in the house had long since left it.

The first thing Nix had done after clearing the house out for the dead was to secure the doors, tying knots around them like Daryl had taught her. After a day there, she went through the neighbourhood, going in and out of the houses, filling her backpacks with things of use. Lighters, rags, water, and food that was a good six months out of their expiry date. Whatever, it had preservatives in it. She’d also found some knives and guns, alongside spare bullets, full clips when she was really lucky.

To say that Nix was proud of her ability to sneak in and out of houses, pick them clean and get out was an understatement. She had hoarded the food and water in her house for the next few months, had enough food to last her well if she rationed it. It was just her that would be eating it, and she was going to ration it as well as she could.

Once back inside of her house, Nix took to looking out of the window, blinds in place to hide her if anyone unfriendly came by. She had developed a routine, looking through the windows of the other bedrooms. The windows downstairs had long since been boarded up, and Nix didn’t want to take them down when they proved to be of use. She went through the motions, looking out of the other windows, checking the streets around her. The other bedroom windows looked out on the other sides of the street, and the one in the back showed the backyard and what laid out ahead that way.

She went back to her spot by the window, looking out over the front of the house, where she could see another street connected to the one that she was currently living on.

Most days, she was lucky if she saw a walker. Things had quietened down the more north-east she went, the more the cold weather set in place. It made her feel odd, like she missed the walkers, almost. It was strange without them there, breathing down her neck at every chance they got.

Nix sighed a little, leaning back in her chair. Her back ached from tension, but she felt like she could never relax. She never truly felt safe to turn her attention to a book, lest she be attacked by the undead or unfriendly living people.

All she needed was a few cats, and Nix reckoned she’d look like a young spinster. Just grab some of her granny’s clothes and try and imagine what fifties music would sound like as it played overhead, and she’d be a young spinster.

When she and her father had lived together before the end of the world, they hadn’t been allowed pets. But her dad told her about a pet dog, Finny, that he used to have before Nix had been brought into the world. It had been a defensive thing and had lived a few years into Nix’s life before passing. Whenever Daryl had brought out their hoover, Finny had stood between baby Nix and the loud machine, shaking in every limb, but there to protect her.

Nix wanted Finny with her, even though she couldn’t remember the dog. Having a companion like Finny would’ve made her life as a lone survivor in the apocalypse a little less lonely. Nowadays, she didn’t dare trust a dog she came across. They were slowly going back to their natural state, feral and untrained.

Fear shot through Nix as she watched a man appear on the adjoining street to the one her street connected to. He looked like he was struggling. Nix’s hand gripped the rifle she had acquired, and she glanced back to the door, half imagining someone there before she turned her attention back to the man. She watched as he struggled, taking down the last few walkers on his tail before he collapsed.

Don’t, something said in her head. He could be a rapist, a serial killer.

I have weapons. He needs help, Nix thought, stuck between a rock and a hard place. She hadn’t moved from her chair just yet. She gripped the arms of it, tense as she stared out of the window at the unconscious man.

You’d be signing your own death warrant if you help him, the thing said, and Nix clenched her jaw at the mere idea of it.

I won’t survive on my own. He won’t either. Better chances if we join up together.

The choice had been made before she fully thought it through. Knives were tucked away on her body, gun strapped to her thigh, the rifle put away as she grabbed her bow, the quiver strapped around her hips.

Nix snuck out of the house, crouching in case there was a walker on the loose. She got to the fencing, looking around to see the man still there, on the melting frost on the road. There weren’t any walkers in sight, but the weather was cold, and the cold would kill the man before the walkers could get their chance.

Bad idea, bad idea.

She made it to the man and put her finger just below his nose. She was relieved when he breathed onto her finger, still alive. Still, she searched his unconscious body, taking away the weapons there before wondering how the hell she was going to get the man into the house she had been living in.

Fuck.

 


 

 

After carefully dragging the man into the house, tying the door shut, she had pulled the pillows from the couch off and onto the floor and had put the man on them, which had been more difficult for her than she had anticipated. Now she had a good look at him. He was a heavy-set white man, with dark brown hair, with a slow growing beard of the same colour. Nix checked his pulse. It was maybe lower than normal, and she had to guess that he was dehydrated, was probably starving. The cold couldn’t have helped either.

Nix pressed her lips together as she stood up, moving out of arm’s reach from the man. Distressing thoughts ran through her head now that she had him in there with her. What would he react like? If he was bad, what was she going to do? Kill him? The thought made a shiver run down her spine, and her hand went to the gun strapped to her leg.

So far, she hadn’t had to take another person’s life. She didn’t want to start with this man’s life. Nix didn’t know if she could do something so monumental as taking someone’s life; she felt sick just thinking about it. If he was a good guy? Well, they’d struggle to communicate, for Nix to try and get her point across to him, and vice versa. Would he stick by her side? Or would he leave her alone, and risk it out there again?

Nix made herself useful, grabbing a blanket, putting it around the man, getting some water and food for when he woke up.

The sun had slowly started to set, and Nix shut the curtains, lighting some candles. She placed them evenly, enough for the light to give the man some ease but know that she was in charge. It was her house and it had been her who had saved his life.

After what felt hours, the man began to stir.

Nix’s hand went to the gun on her leg. What if the man had been bitten? She hadn’t checked for bite wounds.

Brown eyes were the first thing Nix saw, and she felt the tiniest bit of relief; he wasn’t a walker.

He jerked when he realised that she had a gun in her hands, back coming up against the couch. He held his hands up in surrender, mouth moving too fast for her to even try and lip read. Nix raised her gun, then made a point to put it down, then crossed her arms over her stomach, where he couldn’t see her fingers holding the hilts of her knives. He was still a potential threat to her, and she didn’t want to be unarmed around a man.

He tried to talk again, and she caught, “I won’t hurt you,” though she wasn’t sure how much to believe him on that. Men were dangerous before the end of the world, and now they could be downright lethal. She had to be careful.

Nix sighed, then pointed to her ears, and then shook her head. There was no getting around the fact that she was deaf.

“You’re deaf?” the man said, the surprise clear in his face. Nix nodded, then kicked over the notepad and pen by her feet. The man picked them up, writing quickly.

My name is Luke. What’s yours?

Nix read it over before writing her name out for him.

Did you save me from dying out there?
I was sure I would be food for the dead.

Nix nodded her head at him, and he thanked her, using the sign. She smiled a little. At least he knew one of the basics. It was an easy sign to figure out if someone didn’t know what it was.

Why are you alone? Do you have a group?

I did. But they were overrun in the start. Do
you have anyone?

Nix felt her heart tighten, and she glanced at the man before she picked the pen up. It felt nice to talk to someone now, to be able to tell someone about what she’d gone through. She was still wary of the man, but there was a certain kindness in his eyes that had her give him a little trust.

I did. We were on a farm. It was overrun
by the dead. I lost my dad there, every-
one. I don’t know if they survived. I’ve
been alone for about a year now.

She watched as Luke blew out a heavy breath as he looked at what she’d written down for him. He looked back at her, giving her a sympathetic look.

I’m sorry to hear that, Nix.

Nix watched Luke, unsure of what to do now. She had been so used to her father doing most of the social work for her, getting her acquainted with someone, now she was having to try and do it by herself. Daryl would be proud of her if he could see her now. She picked up the pen once more, thinking of what they could do.

We could team up. We lost our old groups.
Doesn’t mean we should pass up another.
But you would have to learn how to sign.

Luke read over the words she’d written, and she watched him laugh. He grinned as he looked at her, nodding his head in agreement. He held out his hand to her, and she shook it, feeling like this was a good thing. There was just something about Luke that came across as an unassuming, kind man. Nix gave the man a little more trust.

 


 

 

‘Music,’ Nix signed for Luke, who mimicked her, a frown on his face as he got used to using his hands in a way he hadn’t before. Music as a sign was the hand moving back and forth above the non-dominant arm, near the crook of the elbow. ‘Teacher,’ she added, the sign needing both hands up on either side of the head, fingers together as the thumbs touched the forefingers, moving back and forth twice before moving down, hands open.

Luke nodded, understanding it. “Ah, music teacher!” He signed along as he spoke, looking pleased and confident at his learning abilities. ‘I should teach you about music,’ he signed slowly, frowning when he tried to remember how to sign ‘should’.

Nix clapped her hands at his signs. He had gotten them down alright, but every so often needed a reminder. Learning a language with your hands wasn’t easy, but Luke was doing his best to learn. Luke would point to objects and sign their names, trying to remember the language better.

Each day, Nix would teach Luke a new sign. They’d go through the motions of bringing it into a conversation so that the sign and placement made sense to Luke. He had also been given his own sign; the letter ‘L’ shook from left to right. The sign helped to get his attention, and it was easier than just signing out his whole name.

‘Favourite colour?’ Nix asked him, middle finger tapping her chin for the first word, the middle and forefinger tapping her chin for the second word.

Luke pursed his lips at the question. ‘Green,’ he signed, forefinger and thumb stretched out as the hand shook forwards and backwards, the other fingers curled into the palm. ‘You?’

Nix nodded, appreciating that. Green had been her favourite when she was eight. ‘Orange,’ she told him, fingers going down into the palm of her hand twice. The sign for orange was the same for the fruit and the colour, so it was easier to remember.

They bumped fists, then tended to their food. Nix and Luke had spent the majority of winter together, and now that the weather was starting to become a little warmer, the sun rising a little earlier, they were going to do some preparations. The house had been safe during the harsh winter months, but they both knew it wouldn’t be safe when the weather got warmer and the dead could start to move around easier once more.

It had been decided that Luke would drive a car that they would find – and Nix would presumably hotwire it if they couldn’t find the keys – and then they would travel. Further up north-east – towards Washington, if they could, or find a camp, a group, that would be willing to let them stay.

They had a good image of pity: a deaf girl and a man that wasn’t her father. Maybe whoever they came across would take pity on them and let them stay. There had to be communities that were safe, that could accommodate them.

‘Orange?’ Luke asked with a smile. ‘I didn’t see that coming.’

‘My dad is like the colour orange. He’s like green too,’ she explained once she had taken a bite from her canned peaches. Daryl was bright, a warm memory, fuzzy and soft, not that he would dare let someone else find that out about him. ‘I miss him.’

Luke nodded, a sad smile on his face as he reached over and clasped her shoulder for a brief moment. ‘I’m sorry you lost him.’

The two took shifts during the night, keeping watch in case unfriendly people or walkers made an appearance. They’d made a routine and it worked well enough for them. It had Nix sleeping more deeply than she had whilst she’d been alone.

Nix had gone through the garages in the neighbourhood, finding a Chevrolet that would be able to keep all their gear in. She had searched the house and found keys underneath a dead body. She’d handed them over to Luke, who got in the car as Nix gathered all their supplies. The two packed the trunk of the Chevrolet and got into the car. It smelled of tobacco and cherries, the old air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror, trying its best.

“So long, number twelve of Midwest Boulevard,” Luke said, the words a little confusing for Nix to read off his lips. She watched as Luke waved at the house, and then she did the same when he looked over at her. He grinned, and then started the car, sending them down the road.

Nix had a book in her lap, but she was looking out of the window instead, unable to let her nerves ease down.

They were moving on, and Nix was scared that they were moving further and further away from where her father would be. If they were, then she had truly lost him. But she had to keep it in control, give herself silent hope that maybe she’d find him along the road, in some other safe place.

Luke continued their drive, and Nix wondered how long they would be on the road before they found somewhere safe, where they could start their lives over.

At least she wasn’t alone anymore. She never wanted to be alone again.

Chapter 4: New Friends

Chapter Text

Nix was awake whilst Luke slept. She was sat on top of the car’s roof, keeping watch until it was Luke’s turn. He would be keeping watch until the sun rose. Her hands stayed on her weapons as she looked around. She didn’t like the idea of keeping watch, didn’t like how exposed they were. It was hard for her to truly keep watch, not having her hearing. However it helped her, it trained her eyes to search for things in the dark, to spot a walker before it appeared in the darkness that surrounded them.

But they were in the middle of nowhere, so she hoped that no-one else would be around to hassle them. It was dark, and that just set her on edge. It was only her and Luke. Neither of them really looked like much, so if there was someone looking at them, watching them, Nix knew that they would look like easy pickings. She had to make sure that they’d survive. She would not be easy pickings. She would fight with every cell in her damn body. It would be what her father would want her to do, what her uncle would want her to do, and she would do her damndest to do it.

The two of them had been with each other for what felt like several months now, and despite how she didn’t know the specifics of the time they’d spent together, she knew that they had grown closer. Nix knew that they were bound to become close, as they were the only company the other had.

Sometimes Nix thought about how annoying Luke was sometimes. She didn’t want to think of it in a mean way, but she had seen how he’d not pay attention to his surroundings sometimes, how a walker would be able to sneak up on him, grab his leg and surprise him. Most times, he could get rid of the threat, but it would leave Nix on edge. She couldn’t hear, and she could still sense when a walker was near – for the most part – but he had all of his senses. She didn’t want to be mean towards Luke in any way, but sometimes Luke’s lack of use when it came to his senses annoyed her.

They swapped. Nix woke Luke up, and he took watch. Nix had a fitful sleep, only halfway to sleep. She never really slept well in cars before, and now with the added threat of the dead and other people, she felt exposed when sleeping in a car. Nix was always on edge, and she could never feel safe enough to sleep. But she dealt with it anyway and was thankful for the sleep she did manage to get.

This routine lasted for a while, longer than either of them had expected. Though Nix wasn’t sure what their plan really was; it ran along the lines of driving, scavenging for food, water and fuel for the car, or ditching it for another. That was what they did in between killing the dead. It was a constant thing, and it almost made Nix feel OK in the world she found herself living in.

Luke had taught her how to drive properly. A lot of the things he did with her and for her, she wished it were her father that did it. But she knew how things were, knew she was another unlucky kid of the apocalypse, and she took it all in stride, thankful that Luke was there and could teach her such things.

She was driving, following the fading road signs, trying not to put the car in the wrong gear or to stall it by accident. It had been annoying the number of times that she had stalled the car; Luke had been calm and had helped her get through it and figure out how to fix the problem. Nix had just been glad there hadn’t been any walkers around to trap them in the stalled vehicle.

JONES SPRINGS

Nix glanced over at Luke. The sign was newer than the others, and he seemed to have noticed it too.

‘Let’s try it,’ he signed to her after a moment, though Nix could see the worry in his face, not entirely trusting what Jones Springs could be.

Nix nodded and turned her attention back onto the road, following the signs for Jones Springs. The signs also led them closer to the ocean, and Nix was starting to think of ways to escape from Jones Springs if they had to. It had Nix on edge, as did most everything else, and she wondered what would be at the end of all the signs. Would it be a place that people had tried to set up at the beginning of the end? Would the place have fallen?

They’d have to wait and find out.

Nix’s stomach was tied up in knots. She was so nervous as to what they’d find. Would the people there be nice and welcoming? Would they be kind? Would they see her as a liability? She clenched her teeth, tightened her grip on the steering wheel, and composed herself. Nix had lived alone for a goddamn year in the end of the world; she was not a liability. This place was going to be easy.

The large, grey gates appeared down the road. It had large, metal walls that spanned far in both directions. Nix squinted and could see a few people at the top of the wall. She drove the car to the gates and took the car out of gear, then looked to Luke for instructions.

‘We have to get out. Put your hands up.’

Nix did as he told her and copied his movements. Luke spoke for them as they stood on either side of their car, the engine still running. Nix was nervous; these people were strangers, and she knew better than to trust people she didn’t know. Her father and uncle had taught her as such from an early age. Stranger danger.

She looked over at Luke, squinting as she tried to read his lips. He was a nervous talker, and it was starting to show. “I’m Luke and this is Nix. We-we’ve been out there for a while. We didn’t – we just came across the signs for Jones Springs and thought we could follow them, see where it led us, which ended up being here,”

Luke continued to talk, no doubt starting to ramble. Nix turned her attention to the people atop the wall. They were men, white, and had guns. They looked like the type of people Merle had told her to avoid when she was younger. “Privileged fuckers, ya hear me? Ain’t worth the shit on yer shoes.”

Nix felt like she was out of her depth. She was a fucking kid, and there she was, remembering everything her father and her crazy uncle had told her about the world. People were dangerous, and there were no laws anymore. She looked like she was weak, and she knew that, knew that she could be taken advantage of. But she was a goddamn Dixon, and she had been isolated from people for a year. She was capable. She had to believe in herself, and she did.

After a few long minutes where the guards on the wall talked to each other, giving each other a sort of side-eye, they called down to someone at the bottom of the gates, and the gates of Jones Springs opened.

Another white man appeared, and he smiled at Nix in a way that made her want to claw his eyes out. He took their car into the safety of the walls, and Luke led her inside, keeping an arm around her shoulders.

‘We have to meet their leader,’ he told her, signs slow, needing more practice. ‘They’re going to take our weapons.’

Nix didn’t like the idea of someone keeping her weapons, of leaving her defenceless in a new place, with more faces than what she was used to. Still, she looked at Luke and nodded. She knew they were lucky that they had even found the place to begin with. Maybe it would be worth it.

 


 

 

Luke did the talking for the two of them again. They were sat together, opposite the leader. The leader was a woman named Erika, and she had a look about her that said she wasn’t one to mess around with. It gave Nix a little bit of hope that things would be OK at Jones Springs. Nix still waited for the other shoe to drop.

Luke explained that they had met up after losing both of their prior groups, had come together and helped each other. He explained to Erika that Nix couldn’t hear but didn’t let it stop her or weaken her. Erika had taken a note of it in a notebook of hers at her desk. Nix wanted to know what was in that notebook, what could be in there; all the people she had to have written about, all the people with significant strengths and weaknesses.

Nix felt like she had to play along, pretend to be what the adults expected of her. They didn’t know about the knife she had hidden away in her bra. She couldn’t let them take all of her weapons. She didn’t trust them, had grown up not trusting people. She didn’t know what to do in this place. She had to watch and figure out what the people would want and expect from her.

She was just a kid, but she was observant. She wasn’t going to let them manipulate her.

Erika was all smiles and nods and soon let them go. More people came and led them to a small apartment. It had been set up for them whilst they had been interviewed by Erika. The men that brought them said something to Luke, who seemed intimidated by it before he nodded, and they left the two in relative peace.

‘What’s wrong?’ Nix asked, jerking her head towards the door the men had left through.

Luke looked like he was trying to find the right words. ‘They don’t like that you’re deaf. You’re my responsibility. They have other people here who are deaf, but those men don’t seem right.’

Nix nodded, glancing back at the door before turning her attention back onto him. ‘I don’t trust them. Something isn’t right.’ She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling like she was older than she actually was.

Her mind went back to her father, and she held onto herself a little more tightly, missing his face, how he would sign to her, the way he could make her feel safe and comforted. She was just a kid.

‘We have a working bathroom, go and take a shower,’ Luke signed to her when he got her attention again.

‘OK, and then you have a shower; you stink,’

Luke smiled at her, maybe huffing a laugh, and ruffled her dirty hair before he pushed her on in the direction of the bathroom.

 


 

 

Nix felt refreshed from the shower. She couldn’t recall the last time that she had had a proper shower that wasn’t a bucket and wet wipes and suspected it had to have been when she had been at the farm. Thinking of the farm made her stomach turn uncomfortably as she thought about the people she used to be with. She missed Carl and Sophia, her father, and Rick and the others, hell, she even missed Shane.

When she had been in the bathroom, drip drying, she had caught a glimpse of herself in the clean mirror. It made her realise that she wasn’t quite a kid anymore. She’d forgotten about her birthday, and that she’d surpassed two of them already when the winter months had passed. She was now fourteen. That didn’t sound much like a kid anymore. With the long months spent with Luke, she was now going to be nearing her fifteenth birthday when the weather would start to turn colder again. She wished she could’ve spent those birthdays with her father, her family.

She guessed there was only so long before she couldn’t pretend to be a small child anymore. In some ways, she didn’t fit the image description anymore.

Now fully dry and in a fresh set of pyjamas, she and Luke stayed up that night. They took turns taking watch; neither of them trusted the people at Jones Springs, and they didn’t know how trustworthy the people would be. They already seemed apprehensive of Nix just because of her lack of hearing, like she would be a problem. It probably didn’t help that Luke wasn’t a skinny man, and people would judge the two of them before getting to know them.

But Nix and Luke worked well together and knew each other well enough. They would do what was best for each other.

The first night felt like their usual nights; taking turns sleeping, taking turns keeping watch. They didn’t keep a candle lit. They would keep watch at the windowsill, looking through the blinds in their apartment to look down at the streets below. It seemed alright, but Nix was far too aware of how looks could be deceiving. She knew she didn’t look like one to have spent a year alone in the apocalypse.

It still sometimes shocked her that she had managed that feat. Sometimes she thought she’d wake up to be torn apart by the dead as the real reality would set in. She didn’t hope for that day to become real.

Knowing that she had survived on her own, at such a young age too, it made her feel strong and confident in herself. Nix had done what most other kids her age would’ve failed at – surviving alone. She guessed she had to be thankful for the way she had been brought up, of her father’s guidance, the way he taught her how to hunt animals, how to track them and how to skin them. To be thankful for how Merle taught her things her father didn’t want her knowing. Maybe she had been too young to know them then, but in the world that she had been thrown into… it made her glad Merle had taught her such things.

She missed her father and her uncle. She hoped that they were alive. They had to be because nothing could kill a Dixon but a Dixon.

The sun began to rise, and Nix woke Luke up. They had a brand-new day in their new community. It was going to be eventful.

Erika came to their door, greeting them and wishing them well. Nix tried to learn to read the way she moved her mouth, but Nix could tell that Erika was trying to exaggerate her words. Exaggeration made it harder for Nix to understand, and she gave up, looking to Luke who looked a little uncomfortable.

“We’re glad to be here. We want to do our part in the community – I used to be a teacher,” he said, signing the word teacher, and Erika frowned at the action. “I would love to teach the kids here, alongside Nix.”

Nix glanced out of the corner of her eye to see Erika was side-eyeing her. So Erika probably didn’t like her. That didn’t give Nix much confidence for Jones Springs if their leader disliked kids. The old world hadn’t been kind to people who were disabled, and Nix knew this world would be even worse.

“What about the girl?” Erika asked clearly.

“Nix won’t be a problem, if that’s what you’re asking,” Luke said, looking over at Nix, a smile on his face. “She’s good.”

Erika nodded, though it didn’t get rid of the suspicious look on her face. Erika said something else, and Luke nodded, telling her that they’d join her shortly before Erika left, shutting the door behind her.

Luke turned to look at Nix. ‘Do you have your knife?’ he asked, not talking aloud. Nix frowned at him but nodded. ‘Good. We have to go for community breakfast.’

Nix raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Community breakfast?’ she signed, and he nodded, amused at the look on her face. ‘Let’s meet the people.’

The people of Jones Springs were … apprehensive. Nix knew that she and Luke weren’t the most dangerous people, appearance wise, though she had long since learned that appearances could be deceiving. She didn’t know the people of Jones Springs and didn’t know how dangerous they could truly be. They didn’t know how dangerous she could become if the need became a reality.

The people were a little odd towards Nix when each individual found out she was deaf. It was something that reminded Nix of the time before the end of the world, when people didn’t know how to act towards her, how to talk to her. She was glad that she had taught Luke some sign language, just so that he could try and be the translator for them.

Jones Springs set Nix’s teeth on edge. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but it made her feel uneasy in her own skin. It was like something about the people was off, like they were almost alien in a sense.

‘Can you see what I see?’ Nix asked Luke on their third night in Jones Springs.

‘The people are … weird,’ Luke signed to her, a frown on his face as he contemplated how to describe it. ‘Maybe it’s because we’re new here,’ he signed, trying to brush it off. Nix raised an eyebrow at him over their bowls of chicken soup.

‘I know that they’re weird. It’s hard not to see it. Cult?’

Luke pressed his lips together, eyebrows pulled close. ‘Cult? Maybe,’

Nix ate some soup, and the warmth of it filled her up. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had food so good. If Jones Springs was full of suspicious people, they were mighty good at cooking.

‘You mentioned they don’t like that I’m deaf, how I’m now your responsibility. But there are other deaf people here. The men don’t seem right. They could … try and take advantage of my deafness and how I have to rely on you.’

Luke gave her a soft look. ‘You don’t rely on me; I’m always relying on your smart little head,’ he signed, and Nix rolled her eyes at him, but there was a small smile on her face. ‘We rely on each other and help each other. We’ll be OK.’

 


 

 

Nix met Connie and Kelly. They were sisters, women of colour, and Connie was deaf whilst her younger sister was able to hear and translate for her. Maybe because Connie and Nix were deaf, it helped their friendship and allowed Nix to put her trust in Connie wholeheartedly.

‘I like your hair,’ Nix signed to Connie, who smiled at the compliment, returning one to Nix. Connie was nice, and was maybe around Luke’s age, possibly a few years older than him. Kelly was a few years older than Nix, and she had been in high school when the end of the world had happened. Nix had been in middle school.

Kelly had attached herself to Nix by their hips, and they spent a lot of time together. It helped to have someone around her age, and to have an older, deaf mentor too. To have others around Nix that knew how to talk to her made her feel safe and acknowledged. A lot of the time around hearing people, most of whom were ignorant, they left her without context to conversations or their surroundings. With Connie and Kelly, it made it easier to talk to others and feel included.

The sisters didn’t trust Jones Springs though. There was something about the community that kept them all on edge. Connie and Kelly had agreed with Nix and Luke that there was something fishy going on in Jones Springs, but none of them could prove it.

They stayed at Jones Springs, despite how uneasy it left them. They watched as people joined the community, eyes full of wonder and amazement, hopeful for what the community could offer them.

Luke taught the kids alongside some other adults that had been teachers before the apocalypse. Nix had never gotten such a good education before the end of the world. She found it funny that it took the apocalypse to happen before she could get a fulfilling education. Luke was the easiest teacher to learn from; he had gotten better at sign language, talking to the hearing students and signing so that Nix could understand. Kelly sat by her side, both of them learning quickly under Luke’s hand.

Luke had also found a piano; he had gotten it from one of the other teachers who didn’t know how to play it, and he had decided to try and teach Nix how to play the piano. She tried her best, slowly learning how her fingers could move over the keys, the seven different scales: Lydian, Mixolydian, Aeolian, Locrian, Ionian, Dorian and Phrygian. They were all confusing to her, but Nix managed to follow along with what Luke signed to her, explaining what each mode meant, how the scales were different. It was all hard work, and it took up a lot of Nix’s time. She did her best, and Luke often praised her for it, and it made Nix feel good about what she was capable of.

She supposed the music taking up her time was why Luke taught her; it kept her busy and kept her learning something. She did enjoy learning, and it let her hands do something else other than sign. She appreciated the task of learning how to play the piano; she practised every day.

People seemed surprised to see Nix in the older classes; as a young deaf girl, she knew that her appearance would be misleading, that people would make presumptions about her before getting to know her. Nix figured she could use those presumptions to her advantage for as long as she could. She wanted to learn and understand as much as she could before she went back out into that world again. She had been alone in it for one year, she guessed that she deserved some time off from the apocalypse.

She missed her dad, and she missed her uncle. She thought about them every day and wondered how they would’ve taken to living in Jones Springs.

Connie was sat beside her; school had finished for the day and Kelly had raced out of the building, eager to get home and get some food. Connie had barely managed to sign her greetings to her sister before Kelly had made her way past her, raiding the cupboards. Connie laughed at her sister and invited Nix in.

‘How was school today?’ Connie asked Nix, ignoring her sister who had stuck her fingers into a jar of peanut butter.

‘It was alright. The other kids always look at me weird, but I’ve gotten used to it.’

Connie nodded, the look on her face telling Nix that she knew all about the weird looks. ‘You’ll be OK. They’ll learn to stop staring at you like that.’

Nix didn’t quite believe her. ‘Adults still look at me like they do. Erika does whenever she sees me.’ She shrugged a shoulder, then glanced at Kelly, who was minding her own business, searching for more food now that the peanut butter jar was mostly empty. ‘Your sister is going to eat you out of house and home.’

Connie turned her attention onto Kelly, chastising her. Kelly raised an eyebrow at her, defending herself before she made a rude gesture to Connie.

It was nice to see the two sisters interact, and Nix wondered what it was like to have siblings. She’d grown up seeing her father and uncle interact, and they were drastically different to Connie and Kelly. But seeing the sisters interact and include Nix in the things they did, it made Nix feel wanted and loved. She knew her father and Merle cared for her, but it was a different type of care. Nix didn’t want to lose Connie or Kelly.

 


 

 

Nix and Luke had moved into a new apartment with Connie and Kelly. They all felt safer together. Nix and Kelly shared a room whilst Luke and Connie had their own separated bedrooms. Nix had seen the people staring at them as they all moved in together. Nix knew that there would be whispers about Luke and Connie, how people would make presumptions about them. They had also brought the piano along, and Nix and Luke would play together for Kelly and Connie. Though it was only Kelly who could hear, it was impressive to the sisters how Nix and Luke could play together. Nix had picked up the skill well enough that she could play some things moderately confidently. Luke told her she was a smart student who managed to pick things up.

Living with Connie and Kelly made the apartment feel livelier than before, and it was nice to wake up with someone else in the bedroom, to see other women. Nix could remember the awkward moments when she had gotten her period by surprise, and Luke had done his best to help but was just that little bit too awkward to deal with it. Nix knew that her father and uncle would’ve been worse, so she supposed Luke’s awkward kindness was a good substitute. Now, he was steadily getting used to the idea of periods, especially since he lived with three people who got them at different points in the month. Nix’s period had yet to stabilise itself and happen on a regular basis. Connie had assured her it was normal for it to act like that until into adulthood.

‘How did you and Luke meet?’ Kelly asked Nix. They were sat up in their beds, staying up past their bedtime.

‘I saw him get chased by walkers. He fought them and once they were dead, he passed out. I brought him back into the house I’d been staying in. We … had a few trials and errors with sign, but he’s been good.’

‘When was this?’

Nix frowned, trying to get the months right. ‘A year and a few months after everything fell. I’d been with my dad at the start.’

Kelly nodded, a look in her eyes as Nix mentioned her father. Connie and Kelly had presumed Luke to be her father, and the two had been quick to correct the sisters. ‘Go on,’ Kelly signed.

Nix shrugged, looking away for a moment. ‘We were outside of Atlanta at first. Other people joined us. Then that camp was overrun, and we had to leave. We went to the CDC, but then the doctor there almost killed us when he blew it up,’ Nix paused when she saw Kelly’s jaw drop at the information. ‘Yeah, the CDC isn’t there anymore. Anyway, we moved on and tried to leave but then me and my friend, Sophia, were chased by walkers when a herd of them came through. We’d been hiding underneath the cars, but Sophia thought it was safe when it wasn’t. We ran for ages until Rick, our leader, found us and hid us while he took care of the walkers. We tried to make our way back to the highway we’d been on, but then something scared Sophia. We met a man, and he took us to his farm.’

Kelly’s eyebrows had risen throughout Nix’s story. ‘What happened on the farm?’

‘A lot. It belonged to a man named Hershel. He got his daughter, Maggie, to search for our families, but she couldn’t find them on the highway. Rick appeared on the farm with his son. Carl had been shot by the man who had found us. Rick saw us there, and soon after my dad and Sophia’s mom found us. It was alright on the farm, but when winter started to set, a lot of walkers overran the farm. A few walkers attacked me, and one fell on me. The others must have thought it killed me because they weren’t at our rendezvous. I was alone until I met Luke.’

‘You’d been left alone?’ Kelly asked. Nix nodded, and then looked away. She hadn’t really spoken to Luke about just how much she missed her father, how much it had hurt to know that they had presumed her dead and hadn’t waited for her. Nix’s eyes were wet from tears, and she pressed her hands over her eyes.

Kelly sat on the bed with her, and wrapped an arm around her, giving her quiet comfort. Nix held onto Kelly tightly, sniffling and gasping for breath as she cried. Kelly let her cry into her shoulder.

The next morning, Connie entered their shared bedroom to see the two girls asleep together, arms around each other as they slept on in peace. She hadn’t woken them up, knowing they had to have been up until the late hours of the morning.

 


 

 

One of the guards made Nix more uncomfortable than the others. He was always there whenever she left school or went to it. He was there on the corners of streets, eyes always on her. Nix hated walking alone now, scared of what the man might try if she was spotted alone. She kept her knife on her, hidden in her bra. She had yet to feel safe enough to walk the streets of Jones Springs without it. The man was stalking her. She didn’t know how else to explain it. He was always there. It creeped her out and had the hairs on her arms stand up, just thinking about it.

When she returned to the apartment, Kelly and Luke were already there.

‘One of the guards is stalking me,’ she signed to them, sitting down at the table they were sat at. They looked at her in surprise when they saw what she had signed.

‘Are you sure?’ Luke asked, worry lining his face.

Nix nodded. ‘I see him all the time. He’s always there, whenever I look around. He’s not guarding the walls, he’s watching me,’

‘OK. I can talk to Erika about it, see what we can do about this man,’ Luke said, and Nix nodded, relieved that he believed her so easily.

‘Does he do anything to you?’

Nix shook her head. ‘He just watches me. He’s always there, no matter what. He always … looks me in the eye when I spot him.’

Kelly clenched her jaw, getting to her feet. ‘I’ll keep you company; we can get him to leave you alone.’ She put a hand on Nix’s shoulder. ‘Promise,’ she signed with her other hand.

‘Thanks,’

When Connie returned home, they informed her of Nix’s stalker, and Connie became furious that someone would do that and frighten Nix in that type of way. Kelly told Nix about Connie’s job before the end of the world; she had been a journalist and had managed to put several people behind bars. Nix wondered if she would somehow be able to uncover dirt on the man who was stalking her and provide the proof to Erika, who would hopefully make the man leave Nix alone, or leave Jones Springs entirely.

Luke and Connie asked for a meeting with Erika. As the sole leader, with no council, all decisions were made by Erika. She was a busy woman, as people constantly sought her out for her consent for things such as buildings to be made, scouting runs to be organised. Luke and Connie’s meeting took several weeks to take place.

During the weeks of waiting to see Erika, Nix saw the man everywhere she went. She barely left her apartment alone. Someone was always by her side, and it was Kelly who was most often beside her, walking with her to and from school, joining her on her jogs around Jones Springs. Luke and Connie kept her company when they weren’t working, but they couldn’t do anything about the stalker.

Kelly had proved herself to be a bit of an artist. She had drawn up a sketch of the man when she had spotted him enough times to memorise his face. Nix had agreed that Kelly had done a good job in getting his features right, able to tell him apart from another man.

Nix wondered what her father would do if he had been there, found out that Nix had a stalker that had to be the same age as Daryl. She wondered if he would’ve fought with the man or beat him or just outright killed him for scaring Nix. She missed her father, and she wondered where he was, if he was alive or not.

The weather started to bite into their skin, turning cold. Nix turned fifteen.

The four of them had had a small celebration of her birthday, getting small gifts – a woman made knives, and Luke had exchanged some fruit and vegetables for a knife to gift to Nix. Connie had found her some roughened copies of Harry Potter, and Kelly had made them both friendship bracelets. It had been more than Nix had ever expected from them, and it had warmed her heart to see that they cared enough about her to go out of their way to find gifts for them.

They waited out the long weeks until it was time for the meeting. During those weeks, things had advanced with the stalker; he shoved letters through the gap between the door and the floor, leaving letters for Nix or the others to find, addressed to her. Most of the letters were full of obsessed nonsense, and it terrified the life out of Nix. Then came the drawings. They were crude and disgusting, and it made Nix feel physically ill. Yet Erika didn’t budge, wouldn’t bump up the meeting to a closer date, so they had to wait. Kelly stayed with Nix in their apartment when Connie and Luke had to leave for the meeting. Nix hoped that something would be done about the stalking. It was making her scared to go outside.

Nix looked out of the window, peeking through the blinds. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the man standing against a lamppost on the opposing street. She looked to Kelly, who came to stand beside her, spotting the man down on the street.

“Bastard,” she said, and Nix nodded her head in agreement.

‘He knows it’s just us,’ Nix signed to her, worry filling her up, drowning her. ‘What if he decides to do something?’

‘He hasn’t done anything yet. We wait for the aftermath of this meeting, and see where that leaves us,’ Kelly signed, trying to reassure Nix. ‘Whatever happens, we’re going to be there for you.’ Kelly smiled at Nix; a kind look in her eyes. ‘We’ve got this.’

Nix nodded and turned her attention back onto the street. Her heart beat hard in her chest, and she wondered if the man could see them from where he stood. She didn’t even know the man’s name, but she was scared of him. What were they supposed to do about this man? Nix didn’t know how this could end well; stalkers had been dangerous when the world wasn’t full of walkers. What would Erika do about the situation?

Nix was too scared to let the man out of her sight. He knew which apartment she lived in, knew where she went to school with Kelly. Nix didn’t know what to do about the man, and she knew that the others were at a loss as to what they could do to stop the man. They had to endure it, know that he would be there, wherever Nix went.

The day dragged on and on, and the two teens waited for Luke and Connie to return, to inform them of what Erika had to say about the situation.

The door to the apartment opened, and Nix looked around to see Luke and Connie enter, followed by Erika herself. Nix’s stomach tied itself into knots. This couldn’t be good.

‘She wanted to talk to you,’ Connie signed to Nix, a furious look on her face.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, deciding to bite the bullet. Connie rarely got angry and seeing her so infuriated scared Nix.

‘You should sit down,’ Luke told her, a sad look in his eyes. Nix looked at the two for a moment before she walked over to the table and sat down. Erika sat in the chair opposite her. There was something in Erika’s face, hidden anger, masked by a poor façade of calm. Was Erika angry at Nix?

Nix clenched her jaw as she put her hands on the table, clasped together tightly as she looked at Erika, waiting for the woman to start talking, to no doubt exaggerate her words and mouth movements, so that Kelly and Luke had to translate for Nix to understand what was going on.

“Your friend drew a picture of my husband,” Erika started, words a little slow, but Nix managed to read them off Erika’s lips. Kelly was quick to sign along, confirming what Nix thought she said. Erika glanced back at Kelly, displeased.

‘She drew a picture of your husband?’ Nix asked, frowning before the words clicked into place. ‘Your husband is stalking me?’

Luke spoke for Nix, and Nix saw the disgust in Erika’s face at the words.

“My husband would not sink low enough to stalk a child,” Erika said, and Nix felt her blood boil. “My husband is faithful and would never tarnish our names in such a way. We have been here in Jones Springs from the start, built the walls that protect you all. We gave you the food you eat, the heating in your home, the clothes on your back. My husband is a busy man, guarding the wall, protecting our people.” Kelly was quick to translate the words, but she was having a hard time controlling her expressions as she got angrier and angrier with Erika and what she said.

‘You’re a bitch.’ Nix signed to her. Nix didn’t like the possible outcomes of this conversation, knowing that it wouldn’t be good that Erika would let her husband get away with this.

“Nix isn’t happy,” Luke said instead. “She knows it’s your husband stalking her.”

Erika turned to talk to Luke, spitting the words from her mouth that Nix couldn’t see. Kelly’s jaw dropped at whatever Erika said, and Nix was too scared to ask what the woman could have said.

‘She called you a … lying whore and that Luke should be careful of what he says because he’s not your father,’ Kelly signed, uncomfortable. ‘She implied he’s a paedophile.’

‘What the fuck?’ Nix glared at Erika, then slammed her fist onto the table. Erika jumped, then turned around to look at Nix. ‘You’re a vile woman who will see this place fall. Your husband is a creep, and you will turn a blind eye because you live in a fantasy world that will kill your people. Get out of my home.’

Erika waited for the translation, but no-one told her.

“You should leave.” Kelly said. Erika got to her feet, dusting herself off before she walked out of their apartment with her head held high.

‘I’m sorry, Nix,’ Luke signed to her.

‘It’s not your fault,’ she signed, then wiped at her face, pressed her palms into her eyes as she tried to compose herself. ‘Crazy woman.’

Chapter 5: Stalker

Chapter Text

Nix hated Jones Springs. The place terrified her, and the leader hated her. The leader’s husband fucking stalked her every damn day. What was she supposed to do? She kept a knife on her at all times and stayed beside someone whenever she left her apartment. She felt like more of an outcast in Jones Springs than ever before, but she didn’t know what she could do about it.

She had to endure it.

Now that Nix knew just how bad things were when it came to Erika and her leadership skills, she started to notice the cracks in the structure. She started to notice the other guards doing an improper job on the walls, how fights could start easily in the streets. Violence was met with violence. Nothing stopped the chaos. There were quiet moments, where Nix thought that maybe things could calm down and Erika would step up and be the leader that she was pretending to be, but then someone she knew would betray their rules and would avoid a penalty. The civilians would turn and raise their voices and object, but Erika enforced the laws she made upon them.

Nix hated Jones Springs. They had given it a chance, and it hadn’t been what they thought it would be. So much for a promising visual.

‘We should leave,’ Nix signed to Luke. Connie and Kelly had gone to bed early that night, so it was just Nix and Luke awake. It almost felt like what it used to, before they met the sisters, before they found Jones Springs. It was almost like their house when they had first met each other, the weather cold, but this time around they had warm hot chocolate in their hands and not cans of peaches. Nix did like spending time with Luke, having quality time with her friend.

‘I know. Where would we go?’

Nix shrugged. ‘Further up north. To the ocean. Maybe both.’ She sipped at her hot chocolate, glancing towards the window. ‘Do you think he’s out there, waiting for me?’

‘I think it’s best not to think about it.’ Luke signed, but Nix could see the unease in his face, how they were both certain the man would still be out there, waiting across the street, eyes on their apartment. It unnerved Nix that she didn’t know the man’s name, that she didn’t know who he was, and yet he knew her enough to become fixated on her. She was worried that the man would take things too far, would put her in danger, along with her friends.

Luke, Connie and Kelly were her family. They had become close enough to see each other like that, and Nix was glad she had people to call family with her. She had lost her first family, and nothing could replace Daryl or Merle, but she had learned to love Luke, Connie and Kelly as family.

‘Finish your drink then get to bed,’ Luke signed, and Nix nodded, ignoring the way it reminded her of her father. She missed her father, and it left her heart aching something awful.

Nix was quick to finish up her drink, and Luke took the mug from her before sending her off to bed. She was tense as she laid down in bed, unable to close her eyes and relax into sleep. She wanted to find out information on her stalker, why he had decided she had been the one worth stalking, why he had managed to slip through everything. Nix forced herself to shut her eyes, but she held her covers close to her, a meek defence if the man ever came into her room, but it eased her enough to fall into an uneasy sleep.

 


 

 

Nix needed to get food. They had been running low in the apartment, and Nix knew they needed to get some more vegetables and meat. She felt nervous as she walked through the streets of Jones Springs, unaccompanied. It would just be a quick walk, she would go into the market, find the right stalls and trade for what was needed. Then she’d go home, lock the doors, and wait for the others to return. It was as simple as that. How could it go wrong?

Still, she kept looking around her immediate surroundings, in case she saw the man while she was alone. If he found out that she didn’t have anyone with her, then he’d assume he could get some alone time with her. It made Nix feel sick that she had to think about those kinds of things, to almost expect them to happen, that she would have to try and defend herself against a man whose sole role was to protect the people of Jones Springs. Her stomach churned uncomfortably, and her mouth ran dry as she entered the crowd of people. She was around people; that meant she was safe for the time being.

They talked and interacted with each other, ignoring Nix as she made her way between them. It was easy to slip through the crowd; people ignored her in favour of talking to each other, laughing and bonding together in a way that Nix couldn’t. She had long since gotten used to that and didn’t mind it as much as she used to when she was younger. It had hurt more when she had been young and impressionable, often hurt by the hearing and their ignorance of her.

She got to the vegetable stalls, and the people recognised her and pulled out a small whiteboard and pen so that she could write what she wanted from them. They had long since gotten used to seeing her come for the supplies and had figured out a way for her to communicate with them. They read over her notes before they started to collect them from the boxes, passing them to her, and she put them in her bag. They wrote down what they wanted in trade, and Nix pulled out the books and perfume that had been requested from her. She thanked them, and they returned the sign before she left to find the meat market.

The vegetable and fruit market was bustling, a large crowd as people finished work for the day. Nix had to push her way through the crowd, uncomfortable with the sheer amount of people there. Did they not understand personal space? It made her uncomfortable, and she wondered if it would’ve been best if she had waited for Luke or Connie or even Kelly to return to their apartment before she went to trade for food.

Nix managed to get to the meat stalls. They were inside a cool, air-conditioned building, more to keep the meat fresher for longer than to keep the people cool. There were fewer people in the meat market, and it allowed Nix to breathe for a moment, screw her head back on and calm her down. She set off walking, moving further into the meat market, trying to find what she and the others wanted.

There weren’t that many stalls in the meat market; the cattle of Jones Springs was minimal, and they relied on fishing far too much. Nix wondered if they knew to move their fishing areas around, so that fish would return to certain spots or not. With Erika in charge, she didn’t find it likely. Nix figured she could be a better leader than Erika, and she didn’t know the first thing about leading. It reminded her of Rick Grimes, and she pushed the memories of him and his family to the back of her mind. She could think about Rick and the others later.

Nix traded a few vegetables for some fish, some chocolate and fruit for some chicken. It was easy to learn the trade, what people wanted in return for their products. Nix had proved to be better at trade than Luke, and he had let her sort it out, not wanting to disrupt her and her method.

What’s Erika’s husband called?

The lady at the stall paused in surprise as she read over Nix’s question. “He’s called Silas. Why?” she asked as she handed over the meat.

Nothing. Curious.

With a quick sign of thanks to the person manning the stall, Nix set off back to her apartment.

The crowd was still out there in the market, and it was only getting busier. She came to a stop, contemplating it before she decided to go the long way around. It meant quieter streets, but she wouldn’t have to try and force her way through the crowd. It meant she wouldn’t end up crushing the food into mush as she made her way through the ever-growing crowd of people. Something about the sheer amount of people there reminded her of herds of walkers, and she didn’t want to think about the walkers, didn’t want to think of the people in that way.

Nix didn’t like how sheltered she had become; she hadn’t killed a walker in months, and she couldn’t go out beyond the walls; only scouts, guards and fishermen were allowed to venture off into the dead world, and something about that didn’t seem right, didn’t sit right with Nix. Nix wanted to come and go as she pleased; she had learned how to hunt, and yet her skills were being wasted. She knew this meant that Jones Springs would fall, and her only concern was when that would happen.

Nix didn’t want to become weak, to forget what it was like to be out there. Her year alone had proved to her that she was capable, but her potential was being wasted as she grew older inside the walls. She couldn’t let herself become weak, become a liability. She wouldn’t let that happen.

She continued to walk down deserted streets. Everyone had to be in the market, trying to get the best deals possible. Little did they know that just before they crowded the stalls, the trading worked best. Nix glanced around and saw a man following her. Her heart leapt into her throat when she recognised him – it was Silas, Erika’s husband. Now Nix had a name to his face. She turned her eyes away from him and slowly picked up her pace, trying to do so discreetly before she would start to sprint away from him.

She knew she shouldn’t have gone down the empty streets alone; she appeared vulnerable, and her damn stalker would do whatever he could to her now that he knew she was alone. She figured he had spotted her walking away from the crowd and had abandoned his post in favour of following her. Silas would be able to hear the crowds, know how far away people were, therefore knowing when to push his luck. He would be able to make a move on her, and she wouldn’t know if anyone was nearby to hear her try and scream for help.

Glancing back again, she saw that Silas had gotten closer.

It set her heart into an erratic beat, thoughts racing through her mind as she tried to prepare herself for whatever would happen next. “You scare those men who try an’ hurt you. Ain’ no reason a lil girl like you can’t break a man’s arm.” She could remember Merle, telling her all the things she could do to defend herself, what to do to a man if the situation ever called for it. He had been looking out for her when the end of the world had happened, telling her all the nasty things a person was capable of, and let her know that she would have to do some bad to make sure she lived to see another day.

Her father hadn’t been pleased when he’d caught Merle talking to her like that, but then he’d taken Merle’s place, and had been kinder when he told her that men could be awful to little girls like her, and she had to be careful and know how to defend herself if a man ever tried to a lay a hand on her. He just never had the chance to teach her how to properly defend herself against a man. Now that proved dangerous for her current situation.

Silas had gotten closer again.

Nix ran.

She didn’t get far; Silas grabbed Nix, and she dropped the food, opening her mouth to try and scream as she kicked and hit the man, trying to break free of his hold on her.

Silas yanked her close to him, a sweaty hand going over her mouth, his other arm holding her around her middle. He hoisted her up, and her feet left the ground. Nix kicked at his shins and knees, trying to do as much damage as she could as he pulled her down an alleyway. Her feet pounded into his legs and knees, and she wanted to break the bones there. She punched him and tried to scratch at his face, to catch the skin under her nails and make him bleed. Panic set in, and she tried to pull herself out of his grip, shaking back and forth, from side to side, writhing in his grip, trying to loosen herself from his hold. He lost his grip on her and she fell to the ground, hands scraping on the concrete.

For a second, neither of them could believe she had gotten free of him so quickly.

Nix looked around, and Silas was already moving. She looked ahead of her and tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed her, and she fell again, face hitting the ground hard. She kicked at his hands, trying to get his hands off her legs. Her breathing was erratic, and she was doing her damndest to get the hell away from him. She tried screaming again, panic seeping into her bones as he dragged her back, then pinned her down on the floor.

Silas’ hand was on her head, his other on her back, pinning her where she was. She couldn’t move, but she kept trying, despite how the situation didn’t bode well for her. Nix tried to kick up at him as he turned her around, crawling on top of her, twisting her around so she was on her back. Her hand went under her t-shirt and grabbed the knife as the man tried to unbuckle her belt. She pulled the knife out and then slashed at his face, feeling sick to her stomach as she felt the knife collide with the skin, cutting through it like butter. She waved the knife again, gasping for breath as she watched Silas curse, a hand on his face as the cut bled.

There was a shadow above her as Silas looked up, and Nix saw the horror in his face.

A woman was there, and she was quick to plant her knee in the man’s chest, a knife of her own in her hand as the man landed on the floor. She kneeled over him as she started to beat him, and then another woman was there, kneeling beside Nix, a hand coming to rest on her back, the other on her face to try and get Nix to look away from the woman beating Silas, but Nix was too scared to look away from him. The first woman was white, with curly, frizzy hair, and the second lady was Asian with long black hair and sharp cheekbones. The Asian woman turned Nix’s head to her, tearing Nix’s gaze from Silas.

‘Help me, please,’ Nix signed, and only just realised that there were tears dripping down her face. She had been fuelled by panic and fear, too consumed by it to realise she had started crying at some point during the fight. She gestured to her ears and shook her head. The woman nodded, hopefully understanding what Nix meant, and helped Nix to her feet, keeping her close as the first woman stood over the man, talking down to him. Nix couldn’t see the woman’s lips, couldn’t understand what she said, but Nix hoped it scared Silas to his core. The woman brandished the knife at the man, kneeling down to say something to him before she stood back up, sheathing her weapon.

Nix looked at the pathetic man and saw his face was busted and bloody. He was sobbing, hands going over his face as he curled in on himself. The woman turned away from him and looked to Nix.

“Did he hurt you?” Nix managed to read off her lips. There was a serious look on her face, and Nix didn’t want to think about how serious the situation could’ve been – how serious it was.

‘He almost did, but you saved me.’

The two women shared a look before they pulled Nix away from the man, leaving him there in the alleyway to rot. The white woman grabbed Nix’s bag of food as they went.

 


 

 

The two women had taken Nix back to her apartment, where Connie and Kelly were, having returned from their duties. They had been smiling one moment, and then the next they were serious, smiles vanishing when they saw the state Nix was in.

Kelly took control, translating for both parties as the white woman sat Nix down, keeping an arm around her as Connie grabbed their first aid kit, tending to the scrapes on Nix’s hands, the cuts on her face. Nix could feel her hands shaking, the tremors that tried to take hold of her body. The two women were named Yumiko and Magna. They had arrived at Jones Springs not too long ago. They’d seen Nix and her friends around a few times but hadn’t known that Nix and Connie were deaf.

Connie had a sombre look on her face as she looked up at Nix from where she knelt in front of her. ‘Did he try to rape you?’

Nix paused for a moment before she nodded as the horror of reality started to set in. ‘He dragged me into the alley and tried to kidnap me. He tried to grab my pants.’ Connie took hold of Nix’s hands when they started to shake. Kelly translated for Magna and Yumiko. Magna’s arm around her felt like a comfort, and her hold tightened when Kelly told them what Nix had signed.

‘I had a knife on me,’ Nix said, pulling her hands from Connie’s so she could tell her. ‘I’ve had it on me since I first got here. I didn’t trust this place enough. It came in handy.’

‘You were right to keep a knife on you. There are dangerous people, and you have to protect yourself. Don’t feel guilty over that.’ Connie signed to her. There was a look in Connie’s eyes, an anger to them that Nix hadn’t ever seen before.

Magna caught her attention. ‘You’ll be OK,’ she signed slowly. Nix shrugged a shoulder at her before she leaned into her side. She felt exhausted, the fear and adrenaline fading, and the fatigue took place, trying to get a hold of her.

‘What do you want us to do?’

Nix shrugged at Connie, eyes stinging from tears. ‘What can we do? He’s Erika’s husband! He’ll get away with it. He’ll even get away with killing me.’ Nix couldn’t see a way out of this situation that she found herself in.

‘Don’t talk like that. We can figure something out,’ Connie looked to Kelly, who nodded.

‘We can leave if that means keeping you safe,’ Kelly told her, and it made Nix cry, knowing that they’d risk going out there if it meant Nix would be further from the stalker, safer in a way that she could be in Jones Springs.

When Luke returned, Connie informed him of what happened. He had come and sat beside Nix, all calm and collected even though she knew he wanted nothing more than to storm into Erika’s office and tell her what her husband had tried to do; to go after that husband and give him a piece of his mind and to let Silas’ face get familiar with his fists. But he stayed by her side, offering comfort only he could provide.

Nix wanted Daryl and Merle there. She knew what they’d do. She would sit by her father as he would comfort her, and then her uncle Merle would leave, only to return with blood on his knuckles, and a promise that Silas wouldn’t hurt her ever again. They’d be kicked out of Jones Springs, but the three of them would be together, and some filth would be gone from the world. But that wasn’t her reality. She was without her father and uncle, having presumed that they may have died now. How lucky could they be to survive so long?

Nix had to face reality; a man had tried to assault her, and she feared that if Magna and Yumiko hadn’t come to the rescue, that the man would have succeeded. But instead, she was surrounded by people who cared and wanted nothing more than to see justice happen. Nix didn’t know what to do, and something in the back of her mind told her that it was trauma messing with her head, the fear of what could have happened, the fear of what had happened.

The man had managed to catch her off guard and alone, and he’d taken advantage of it, had tried to take advantage of her. Now she had to confront Erika and make her do something about it. She had to do something about what her husband had tried to do, though Nix didn’t know if she truly would. The fear that no action would be taken terrified Nix. She didn’t know what she would do if nothing would happen to Silas.

 


 

 

Their group sat around outside of Erika’s office. The guards outside of her office had dared to ask what they were doing. Magna had been the one to take charge and tell them that their group wouldn’t move until they talked with Erika. Her arm had been around Nix, and she hadn’t moved from her side throughout the entire thing. Her presence was warm and reassuring. Although Nix didn’t know Magna that well, her protective streak gave Nix comfort over what she had been through, had let her feel safe even as they sat outside Erika’s office.

Having people there to stand up for her and to back her up, it made Nix feel a little more confident in what they were doing, standing up to Erika and her husband. Someone had to start a revolution, to stand up against Erika and what she stood for; she was an unfit leader, and had risked so many lives, had taken them indirectly. Nix didn’t want to be another statistic. It brought an uncomfortable thought to mind: how many young girls had this man stalked before Nix? How many had he hurt and possibly killed? Was she just another one in a long list to this man?

The thoughts made her skin crawl, and she tried to point her thoughts elsewhere. Thinking about these things wouldn’t help her, and it would just terrify her if she knew the reality.

The door to Erika’s office opened, and the woman appeared there, a look of displeasure making its way over her face, and Nix knew nothing good would come from this meeting. Erika let them enter her office, and Nix thought her heart stopped when she saw Silas there. He had been there all along when they’d been sitting outside of her office?

He had a broken nose, an eye that was swelling shut, a few cuts on his face, and a long slash across his face from where Nix had managed to cut him. He was nursing his left arm like it had been broken. Nix knew his ribs had to hurt; Magna had gone to town on him, beating him black and blue. Nix didn’t feel remorse as she saw his bruised, pathetic state. He had tried to hurt her, and she had no sympathy to give him.

Erika glared at them each in equal measure. “You attacked my husband.”

Magna glared at Erika, grip on Nix tightening. “Your husband tried to fucking rape Nix. You’ve been told he’s been stalking her! What kind of a fucking leader are you?”

Erika didn’t step down, returning the glare from Magna. Erika’s mouth moved too quick, but whatever she said elicited the wrong response from Magna, who went to strike her across the face, only to be stopped by Yumiko. The two shared a long look before Yumiko took control of the situation. Nix turned her attention away from them and onto Silas. He was staring at her, eyes unblinking as best they could with one swelling up. It creeped Nix out, made her skin crawl. It was disgusting.

Connie noticed. ‘I will kill you,’ Connie signed to the man before she put an arm around Nix, keeping her close like it would stop Silas from doing anything more to Nix. Silas looked away from Nix, eyes on his wife.

He spoke up, and whatever he said enraged the hearing in the room. Nix wanted to know what they were all saying. Erika waved them off, dismissing them before her face contorted and she yelled for quiet. Nothing was going right, and Erika was abusing her powers. She was manipulating the system she had built to her own benefit, to her husband’s benefit. It was horrific, and Nix wished that they’d never come across Jones Springs, that they were somewhere else, safe.

“If you cannot abide by the rules, then you must leave!” Erika yelled, leaving no room for argument.

‘Then why don’t you leave?’ Nix asked, and everyone looked at her. She repeated her question. ‘You manipulate the rules to your gain, and you allow yourself and Silas to bend and break the rules. Why don’t you leave if you can’t abide by the rules you set?’ Nix crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at Erika.

Erika looked at them all. “I want you all to be packed and ready to leave Jones Springs within the next two days, or I shall have my guards make an example out of you hooligans.”

Everyone paused, coming to a standstill as they understood the impact of Erika’s words. She was sending them back out into the walker infested world after not being allowed out for months. She was sending them out there in the middle of winter. She was sending them to their deaths.

Nix saw Silas’ face, and wondered if Erika had considered her husband’s emotions, had considered what Nix was to him, his little obsession. Nix knew that this would bring on consequences that even Erika couldn’t have foreseen.

 


 

 

Nix was packing her bags. Kelly was doing the same opposite her on her own bed. The two hadn’t spoken since they had started putting their things away, deciding which objects would be a necessity in the apocalypse, and which items would have to be left behind. They could only carry so much.

‘You don’t have to come. You and Connie could stay here,’ Nix suggested after a while. The guilt had been eating her up, and she was at a loss as to what she could do.

Kelly shook her head. ‘Nix, we’re not leaving you and Luke ever again. We aren’t going to stay here any longer than we have to. Even Yumiko and Magna are going to come with us. We’re family,’ Nix smiled at the sign for family, and wiped at her face when she felt the warm tears drip down her face, betraying her. ‘We aren’t going to leave you to fend for yourself. All of us or none of us.’

‘Thank you, Kelly.’

Kelly smiled at her, then shrugged her shoulders before she returned to her bags, shoving her clothes and essentials into the bag.

Nix couldn’t help but still feel guilty. They had their place in Jones Springs, and there they were, packing everything up because of Nix, who had somehow managed to catch the attention of a manic stalker. She wondered what Silas was doing now: if he was angry with Erika for sending them away or glad that they were going. She wondered if Silas would run away from Jones Springs and follow them, continue to stalk Nix until he got what he wanted; whether that was Nix herself or Nix’s demise, she didn’t know. She didn’t understand stalkers, didn’t understand why Silas had fixated on her. Nix didn’t think there was anything all too special about her; she was a kid as normal as she could be in the apocalypse, and she just so happened to be deaf. Of course there was more to her than just that, but Silas didn’t know anything more than that.

Nix shoved some period pads into her bag. There would be five women there, and each of them got a period. They were going to have to find a lot of period necessities and learn to improvise when they ended up running out. Daryl had told her how women used to use a certain type of moss as a sort of pad, but she didn’t know if that was true or not.

She looked to Kelly, who was eyeing up the tampons in Nix’s hand with some type of discomfort in her eyes. ‘Did women use moss before sanitary napkins?’ Nix asked.

Kelly frowned a little. ‘I think so. I think you had to fold it in a cloth or something? I know women used to use bandages, but those will end up in short supply too.’

‘Maybe there could be something to reuse?’ she offered, raising her eyebrows at the older girl.

Kelly shrugged a shoulder, frown still on her face. ‘What? Like a reusable napkin?’

Nix shrugged, throwing the tampons into her bag. She didn’t like tampons; they were always uncomfortable, and she was always scared they’d get stuck. She preferred pads because it gave her a visual of when to reuse them; with tampons she always forgot how long they were meant to stay there. ‘Just rinse a reusable napkin in water and put it in with your laundry.’

Kelly grimaced. ‘Blood.’

‘Rinse it out with water,’ Nix repeated. Now that she thought about it, reusable pads would most likely have to be cleaned that way. ‘Shall we stop talking about this?’

‘Please.’

They finished packing their bags, then hefted them onto their shoulders. They were really leaving. Where were they going to go once they’d put Jones Springs in their rear-view mirror? Nix was terrified of what their future would hold, what they would have to do to survive out there. She had to stomach her horror and prepare herself for the inevitable – losing people.

Kelly led Nix out into the living room, where Luke and Connie were standing, already waiting for them. They had enough stuff to last them for a few weeks if they were lucky and smart about it. Nix would have to get back into hunting again; she knew she was rusty, and the animals nearby would be harder to find. It was mid-winter. She wondered how long they’d survive out there. She was just glad she wasn’t alone, wouldn’t be alone ever again.

She looked at the piano, remembering the fond memories that they had had with it; learning Chopsticks, watching Luke try and perform Flight of the Bumblebee, practising and playing together. They had gotten on along the most on that thing, bonding together over music. Nix was sad to leave it. It held fond memories that she knew would fade over time.

‘Are you two ready?’ Connie asked. The two girls nodded, and then Luke led them out of the apartment. Nix shut the door behind her, their keys on the coffee table left behind. Nix would miss the apartment if only for the fond memories it held. She looked back to the others and followed after them. They made their way to the gates of Jones Springs, where Yumiko and Magna were already waiting for them. They were standing beside two cars, their luggage already shoved into the trunks.

Nix waved to the two women, and they returned the gestures, small smiles on their faces. When they were close enough, Magna helped Nix with her two bags, putting them in one of the trunks of the car as two guards came up to them, bringing their weapons with them. Nix had almost forgotten what her bow had looked like, and she was glad to see it once more. She took it from the man, nodding to him as she grabbed her finger tab, arm guard and a full quiver of arrows. She’d have to make more arrows. She was glad she could remember how to make arrows after all this time hidden away in Jones Springs.

Yumiko held a compound bow, and Nix raised her eyebrows in surprise; she hadn’t expected Yumiko to be the one with a bow like that. Although Nix wasn’t into compound bows, she had to appreciate the strength of them; the archer could shoot an arrow with fifty pounds of weight behind it and only physically pull half of that weight while the bow managed the rest of it. Impressive. Nix still preferred her barebow. Her bow managed twenty-five pounds. As she got stronger, she’d have to try and find replacement limbs for it to add on a bigger poundage, get more strength behind the arrow.

The guards nodded to them as they handed over the rest of the weapons. They were doing alright weapon wise, mostly silent weapons, but they did have a few guns. Nix knew how scarce bullets would become the longer they endured the apocalypse. Maybe if they found a new settlement, they could find someone who knew how to make bullets. Nix thought that was more of a pipe dream than anything else though.

‘Are you ready to go back out there?’ Kelly asked Nix.

‘Yeah. I managed a year alone, so I should be OK. I may be a little rusty though,’

Kelly offered a smile. ‘You’re not alone this time. You’ve got all of us.’ She looked around Nix, and her face fell. She rushed forwards, grabbing Nix, and then the two were falling to the floor. Nix followed Kelly’s movements, hands going over her head to protect herself as she collided with the floor, partially hidden behind the car. She didn’t hear it but could feel bullets ricocheting off the cars.

There were several sharp bangs, and then they were surrounded by smoke. Nix pulled her t-shirt up over her nose, eyes burning as she looked over to Kelly, who had done the same.

‘Silas,’ she signed, and Nix wanted to scream out of anger. Instead, she jerked her head, and crawled under the car, hand gripping her bow tightly, quiver on her hips, the nocks of the arrows pressing into her skin. The two stayed hidden underneath the car, and Nix tried to look around for the others, but the white smoke was too thick.

It was a different situation entirely, but it reminded Nix of the walkers on the highway when she had hidden away with Sophia, before they’d had to run from the threat. Only this time, the threat was a human and not some walkers that they could wait out. They could only wait so long before things would turn for the worse; before Silas found them.

Kelly tapped her shoulder. ‘Silas is talking. He wants you, claims he’ll let us live if you give yourself up.’

‘That’s a load of shit.’ Nix looked away, squinting through the smoke, then looked back at Kelly. ‘The gunfire will send walkers our way.’

‘He keeps shooting his guns. We don’t have long before he finds us.’

Nix clenched her jaw, not sure what she could do. She could try and give herself up to Silas, let him have her in the hopes that her friends would get out of this whole thing unscathed. But how likely was it that Silas would let them live? He had already shot at them, may have killed the others. And how likely was it that her friends would willingly let Silas have Nix?

But if it meant that Kelly was the only one left alive, and it meant that she would get out of this unhurt, then what other choice did Nix have?

A hand grabbed her, and a scream tore itself out of her throat. Silas was there, a murderous, crazed look on his face. Nix reacted without thinking. She grabbed an arrow from her quiver and embedded it in Silas’ eye. His mouth opened as he roared in pain, and then he was pulling Nix out from underneath the car. She looked back at Kelly, horror in her features as Silas screamed and yelled.

Nix stumbled to her feet, being dragged along by Silas. He came to a stop and pulled her forwards, keeping her in front of him as he pulled the arrow out from his eye, throwing it aside before he put a knife to Nix’s throat, the edge of the blade sharp enough that it already stung. Nix didn’t know what to do. She was terrified.

Chapter 6: Downfall

Chapter Text

Nix couldn’t see where the others were. She only knew where Kelly was, still hidden underneath a car. She had to hope that the others were OK, would be alright even though their situation seemed pretty dire.

Behind her, Silas was yelling. She could feel the vibrations from his chest, where he had forced her head to rest against, the sharp-edged knife digging into her throat. She didn’t dare swallow, barely breathed as she waited for him to slice at her throat, to bleed out in the streets of Jones Springs. She didn’t want to die there, not in Jones fucking Springs. Why had they thought giving this damn place a chance had been worth it?

They’d met Connie, they’d met Kelly. They’d even met Yumiko and Magna. They made the chance worth it.

Nix had to move with Silas. She could feel him yelling out words, crazed commands, and she could do anything but try and spot her friends. There was no way that Nix could overpower Silas. She hadn’t even managed to get her knives back properly, to put them on her person again. Instead they were strewn in front of one of the cars that she could barely see. Maybe someone would grab them and put them to use.

The man holding her continued to shout, and he pointed his gun up in the air, letting several shots off. Nix couldn’t hear it, but the proximity had her wincing, shutting her eyes as the shells bounced off her neck and clothes, singeing the hairs on her neck, the fabric. She opened her eyes when Silas shifted, and he dropped the gun. Nix wondered if he’d emptied it as he’d forced the bullets up into the sky. He was going to damn them.

Silas dragged her along, and she stumbled, the blade against her neck cutting a few layers of skin. She winced at the pain but tried to keep pace with Silas as he dragged them towards the gates. Was he planning on making them both leave? Even from the distance, Nix could sense the walkers. They had to have been brought over from the sound of the gunfire, from Silas’ mad shouts. Now the dead had been riled up, and they wanted to feast.

Silas took hold of Nix’s head and forced her to look at Erika. She had appeared through the smoke that was started to fade, flanked by several of her guards. She had a pleasant sort of smile on her face that Nix wanted nothing more than to punch off. There was a certain smugness to it that Erika couldn’t hide. Was she pleased that Nix was in such danger? Was Erika truly as crazy as her husband?

Jones Springs was fucked. There was no redeeming the place.

“What my husband wants, my husband gets,” Erika said, and Nix felt the terror force her still in her spot. She couldn’t move. “If he wants you as a play toy, then that is what he shall get. Do what you want with her, Silas, honey.”

Nix braced herself for the knife to slash her throat, to feel it go down to the bone. She shut her eyes, waiting for her death. So this was how she was going to die?

She thought of her father, wondering if he was out there still. He’d never know how it ended for her, and Nix didn’t know if that was worse or not. She couldn’t remember what they’d last signed to each other, and she realised she was starting to forget his face; she didn’t have any photos of him, didn’t have any of her uncle Merle either. Was Merle still alive too? Would the two go on living, not knowing what happened to Nix?

Nix opened her eyes. She wanted Erika to see her die, to know she had condemned a child to die because she didn’t know how to control her husband, how to run a community.

Blood spurted out of Silas’ shoulder on Nix’s right, and he fell forwards, falling on top of her. Nix landed on the floor with a rough thump, and then she was moving. She shoved Silas off her and saw pulled herself away from him. He was crying out of his one good eye, and Nix could see the entry hole for a bullet. She looked to Erika, who was staring at them in shock. Nix swallowed hard, too scared to move. The one wrong move, and Erika would have her men open fire on Nix.

Then bullets were fired over Nix, and she ducked, keeping her body pressed to the floor. Her quiver was half full, the arrows scattered from her fall. She tried to collect them all and grabbed Silas’ sharp knife. She looked at him, and saw the way he was gasping, body shaking. He was bleeding out, had endured a lot, maybe too much for his body to cope.

Nix looked down at the knife in her hand, and then she acted without really thinking.

It was harder to stab a human in the head than it was to stab a walker. The flesh warm, still alive, the bone not yet rotted soft enough. Nix barely got the knife halfway in, and she had to force it down into his skull. She pulled the knife out with all her might, and the blood dripped from the knife differently than it did with walker blood. Nix didn’t really mind that she had killed someone. Silas had been a bad person, and if she hadn’t killed him, then maybe another girl would be stalked by him, another person would be at risk.

Nix had taken a life. Her hands were stained with Silas’ blood. Nix tried not to think about what her father would think about it, what Merle would have to say about it.

Dad wouldn’t be happy. Uncle Merle would be proud.

The thoughts of how they’d react burst in her mind, but Nix couldn’t concentrate on them. Erika had seen Nix take Silas’ life.

Erika’s mouth was open in a scream, maybe something raw and guttural. Nix couldn’t hear it, and she didn’t care. Erika charged at her, brandishing a knife. She slashed at Nix, who ducked, rolling across the ground. Erika crawled after her, having fallen in her need to attack Nix.

Nix kicked Erika in the face when she was within reach, and then she turned and ran, stumbling as she did so, trying to keep herself below the spray of bullets.

Magna was there, and she was holding up her gun as she shot at the guards, taking them down one by one. She was an expert shot, and Nix barely had the time to be impressed before Magna was pulling her behind her, gun pointed upwards at Erika –

Erika collapsed in front of them, bleeding through the hole in her head, the bullet lodged in her brain. The blood had spattered everywhere, covering Nix and Magna.

“We need to go.” Magna said clearly, and Nix nodded.

They collected Nix’s arrows as they hugged the ground, careful to make sure they didn’t get shot by the guards. The smoke from the bomb and the smell of the gunfire made it hard to focus. There were arrows strewn across the road, and Nix grabbed them, stuffing them back into her quiver as she and Magna returned to the cars. Nix took hold of her bow and felt comfort once more before she was given a gun by Magna.

“Protect us,”

She’d already killed Silas. What was another life?

Nix kept herself hidden behind the car as Magna went around everyone, getting them in the cars. Nix shot at the guards, ducking for cover, before she would shoot at them again. She managed to take out a few more of the guards – three – before Yumiko was there and she shoved her into the car they were using as cover. Nix looked back through the smoke outside of the car and saw that the gates had been opened and walkers upon walkers were piling into Jones Springs. The dead were quick to tear into the dying guards who had been there, into Silas and Erika’s corpses, blood and flesh still fresh enough for their tastes.

Yumiko climbed over her and sat in the driver’s seat. In the back were Luke and Kelly, and Luke was bleeding from his stomach.

Nix’s heartbeat came to a stop, and then the car was rushing through the roads of Jones Springs.

‘What happened?’

‘Shot,’ Kelly told her distractedly, keeping a hand over the wound, some cloth pressed to it.

Nix looked back to Yumiko; whose hands were tight on the steering wheel. She didn’t talk to her, and looked out of the window, tense in her seat as Yumiko sped up. They were getting awfully close to the wooden walls that had been put up in place for some new ones that had yet to replace them.

“DUCK!” Yumiko yelled, and Nix did as she was told.

They burst through the wooden walls, and Nix yelped, feeling shards of glass and splinters fall on her. She was careful as she brushed them off, and then she shifted in her seat, looking back at Kelly and Luke, who wasn’t looking too good.

Nix didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t lose Luke.

 


 

 

Kelly and Nix were keeping watch. Nix felt on edge as she sat on top of the car, squinting through the darkness to see any threats. So far, they hadn’t had anyone from Jones Springs catch up to them, to fight them and kill them. So far … they were free.

‘Is Connie OK?’ Nix asked. She felt restless and she didn’t know what she could do about it. It was driving her insane, not being there for Luke.

‘Connie’s alright. She just needs to rest.’

Magna had brought Connie to their rendezvous. Connie had a headwound, and she’d been unconscious when Magna had brought her in their car. Nix and Kelly were both worried about Connie and Luke. But Nix knew that they were both strong and would be able to get out of this. It was just stressful knowing that the two people they cared about were hurt and they were powerless to help them.

‘Luke will be OK too. The bullet wasn’t that deep.’

‘I know. I just don’t want to lose him because he was … my first friend after losing my dad and my group.’ Nix shrugged, then looked away from Kelly.

The two waited outside, keeping watch, circling the rendezvous point to make sure they hadn’t been followed. The hours dragged on, and Nix hated it. But she kept watch, did her best to try and keep the others safe.

Nix knew that she was lucky in a sense; she was only fifteen and had only killed four people. She knew that there had to be people out there who didn’t have that kind of luck, who’d had to have killed more people at younger ages. She didn’t know if her father were still alive or not, but she could hold out faith that he was still out there while she knew other people couldn’t have that kind of hope. It still hurt knowing that she would never get her answers, but she had already resigned herself to that.

Yumiko came out of the house they were using as a hide out. She started talking, and Kelly was quick to translate her words for Nix. ‘She says Connie is OK, though she may have a concussion. Luke is alright too, but he’s … still under the weather. He’s asleep for now and they did all they could. With some medication and some rest, Luke should make a full recovery.’

To hear that Luke would be OK, it relieved Nix to no end. It meant that they had all managed to escape Jones Springs.

‘She says you can go see him.’

Nix nodded and looked to Yumiko, thanking her before she moved past her, going into the small house. There were two bedrooms, a bathroom and a living room that doubled as the kitchen in the house. It was a comfy house, but Nix didn’t care. She looked in the first bedroom, and saw Connie on the bed, writing in a notepad to Magna. Nix left the two of them before they noticed her, and she went into the second bedroom.

Luke was asleep. He was laid in the bed with the blankets up to his chest. Nix presumed he had bandages on and around his wound. Magna had been the one to stitch him up, the one with more experience than the others.

He looked at peace. Nix sat in the chair beside his bed, then reached out to check his pulse in his wrist. It was steady and strong, and it gave Nix hope that Luke really would be OK when he woke up.

I’m glad you’re OK, she thought, not bothering to sign out the words. She’d be able to tell him when he woke up.

Until then, she kept herself planted right by his side.

 


 

 

Nix looked down the arrow, breathing slow and steady, ignoring how her breath was visible in the cold air. The poor doe had no idea she was there. She aimed the arrow at the deer’s neck. She clenched her jaw before she let the arrow loose, shooting through the air towards its target. The doe barely had time to react before it collapsed onto the ground.

Nix stood up and walked over to it, checking her immediate surroundings as she went. There were no walkers around her. She crouched down in the snow, feeling a little guilt for the animal as the blood pooled around it.

‘I’m sorry,’ she signed to the doe, not that it could understand her. She slit its throat to quicken the death, then pulled out her arrow. It snapped, part of it stuck in the doe’s neck. Fuck, she thought, pulling out the piece that had gotten stuck. She put it away, to throw away later. Nix looked back to the deer and picked it up, heaving it onto her shoulders. Its head lolled against her arm before it stilled, and she set off walking back to the house they were holed up in.

After Luke and Connie had recovered, their group had set off on a mindless journey, trying to find somewhere that would take them in. They had to stop, in the thick of winter, to hide away in a house until the worst of it had passed.

Nix went out hunting, as did Yumiko, but Nix was the one who was able to bring home the bigger animals, the ones that would give them all full stomachs for a few days. Nix had had to teach them all how to hunt, how to skin an animal and remove their guts. It had been a gross process, and Kelly had expressed just how much she found the whole thing gross. It was a learning curve for them all, and it got them asking more about her past, pre-apocalypse.

It was nice talking about her father in the times before the apocalypse, but it reminded her that it had been three years since she had last seen him. She wondered what he would be doing if he were still alive. He had to be. Telling the others about him felt good, and it helped Nix remember him. She had always kept him close to her heart, and that had only resulted in the memories fading, distorting into something she didn’t recognise.

The others found out that she had essentially been a hillbilly from bumfuck nowhere just outside of Atlanta, Georgia. The others had revealed their pasts; Luke a music teacher, Connie a journalist, Kelly a high school student, and Magna had been a truck stop waitress whilst Yumiko had been a lawyer.

‘How did you two meet?’ Nix asked, looking between Magna and Yumiko.

The woman shared an awkward look before Yumiko told them that Magna had gotten into a little tiff with the law, and Yumiko had been her lawyer before the world had gone to shit. They had managed to stick together for three years, unable to find a good enough place to lay their heads. But they’d found Jones Springs, had saved Nix, and had accidentally thrown their lot in with them.

“A good accident though.” Magna said, shooting a smile to Nix, who returned it.

It was nice being around them, having a bigger group than just her and Luke. They could take better turns on watch at night, could hunt and learn how to work together. As the weather got better, turning into spring, they learned to avoid towns and cities, though tried their hand at small villages and streets.

They learned how to benefit each other when it came to searching through homes, trying to find some food and water, weapons, and caches that they could use to their benefit. It was a scary thing, searching through the unknown areas of the world, but they did their best.

Nix had a few close calls, not noticing a walker when she should’ve. Though she was always with someone who had her back, who killed the walker that went for her before it had a chance to kill her. She was grateful that she had the others with her, keeping her safe as she did with them. They always knew the risk, and with two of their group deaf, it meant having to have their eyes everywhere. Nix still tried her best to keep herself out of danger so that the others didn’t have to put themselves in danger for her.

Nix had been the one to find Bernie. She had been scouting through a house, and then Bernie had appeared gun held up in front of him as Nix pointed an arrow at his throat.

The others had come rushing in, hearing Bernie yelling even though Nix couldn’t hear it.

They had been quick to befriend Bernie, slow to trust him. He had been on his own for a while, not as long as Nix had after she had lost her father, but long enough that it was concerning. But Bernie had been nice, had steadily gotten along with everyone in their group.

He, Yumiko, and Magna had done their best to learn sign language. They had gotten along with it rather well, though they did occasionally slip up and forget certain signs for something, resorting to finger spelling until it was understood by Connie and Nix. It still warmed at Nix’s heart that they were doing their best to learn sign language just so that they could talk to her and Connie. It reminded Nix of Sophia and Carl, how they had tried their best to learn in their short time together.

Nix wondered where Sophia and Carl were, if they were still alive or not. It terrified Nix not knowing how her friends may have met their ends.

After Bernie, they found Adelaide. Then came Brandon and Keaton, then Joe and Jax the twins from South Dakota. Missy joined them next, alongside sisters Maisy and Jane. Their group got bigger and bigger, and they had several cars with them to compensate for the sheer amount of people in their group. It surprised Nix how many people they had collected, that they had all decided to stick with them and fight the end of the world with them by their sides. The newcomers were all older than Nix, and only Kelly was around a similar age to Nix. It made Nix feel odd, being the youngest person there, having everyone look out for her like she was an infant.

‘Why did you kill Erika?’ Nix asked. She and Magna were keeping watch on one side of their temporary base. Maisy and Keaton were on the other side, keeping watch too.

‘Why did you kill Silas?’

Nix frowned at her, rebuking the question. ‘I didn’t want anyone else to feel the way I did.’ Nix answered honestly. ‘Silas terrified me, terrorised me for weeks and weeks. Erika did nothing about it. If they got away and lived, then some other girl would end up being stalked by him, and I don’t want someone to live like that. Why did you kill Erika?’

Magna shrugged, looking far too calm and collected for this conversation. ‘She was a crazy bitch,’ Magna signed, the movements slow and with purpose. ‘She was going to try and kill you, and I wasn’t going to let another girl get hurt when I could do something to stop it.’

Nix nodded and didn’t push Magna. When they knew each other better, then maybe Magna would tell her about this other girl who got hurt. Until then, they could stay in companionable silence.

 


 

 

Bernie smiled down at Nix. The summer sun was bright and burned their skin. Bernie handed Nix some sunglasses, and she put them on, signing ‘thank you,’ to him. He bumped their shoulders together.

‘You’re getting tall,’ he signed. Bernie was alright at sign, as were the newcomers, though they were slow to learn the language.

Behind them were the others, following their lead. Their cars had crapped out on them, so all fifteen of them were on foot. Adelaide and Keaton were locked in a heated conversation over whether the books or the movies where better when it came to The Lord of the Rings, and Nix knew that was their way of flirting. Maisy and Jane were talking together, presumably about their parents or something along those lines. The twins were keeping watch on either side of the group, as were Brandon and Magna.

‘I’m not that tall,’ Nix signed. ‘Besides, you might be shrinking.’ She gestured to him and his god-awful shirt that he was wearing. It was multicoloured and horrendous. It gave Nix a headache and Magna absolutely hated it.

Nix turned her attention back onto the road, glad for the sunglasses. Luke had given her a hat, so that her head didn’t burn from the harsh sun, but her shoulders and arms were slowly becoming red and ached.

‘Are getting closer to the ocean?’ Nix asked. ‘I can smell the salt water.’

Bernie frowned at her, before he started sniffing at the air. ‘Yeah, I can smell it too.’ He turned to look at the others. “How do you guys feel about going to the oceanside?”

They frowned at him before shrugging. Their group made it to the oceanside. It was nice to be there, to see the sand and the water. They were on the edge of the country. They could go out there, swim or use a boat and live off the water. Find a little land for themselves. Nix didn’t want to leave, to find that little island. She wanted to find her father. She couldn’t help but hold out hope that he was still alive, somewhere in the country. She looked back to the others, who all looked pleased to see something other than the trees and the roads.

They all went down to the beach, careful of walkers hidden in the sand and the sea water. Nix watched as the others joined Maisy and Jane down at the water’s edge, barefoot as they felt the water move over their feet. Nix’s feet were sore from her boots, but she was too scared to take them off, knowing that at some point she would have to start running from the newest threat.

She and Yumiko paced around the beach, eyes open for threats in the forms of walkers or the living. Nix couldn’t relax, couldn’t let herself enjoy the oceanside like the others were doing. It was hard to look at the others laughing and joking together.

‘Why don’t you go and join them?’

Nix shook her head at Yumiko’s question. ‘We always have to run. I want to be ready for it.’

Yumiko eyed Nix up for a second before she pulled them to a stop. ‘I know we always have to run. We always will at some point or another. But you should allow yourself to enjoy the small things in life, especially this life.’ Nix nodded, looking away for a second, and then Yumiko was turning Nix’s head so she could look her in the eyes. ‘Don’t let this world take over you. You’ve already endured so much, don’t let this world drag you down.’

‘It won’t drag me down.’

Yumiko smiled at her, a soft look to her eyes as she looked at Nix. Nix returned the look, unsure of what else she could do. She wouldn’t let this world drag her down.

 


 

 

They’d spent almost a year on the road. They’d felt the weather start to turn cold, and Nix turned sixteen. Four years without her father, four years since she had last seen Daryl and Merle. She missed them a lot and didn’t know how to handle that loss. It had been several long years, and yet Nix didn’t know what to do without them there.

Adelaide caught Nix’s attention with a wave of her hand. ‘Deer,’ she signed to her. Nix looked in the direction Adelaide pointed, and Nix stalked off, following the deer, staying downwind, making sure it didn’t sense her in any way.

The hunt reminded Nix of Daryl and Merle in a good way; what they had taught her before the end of the world. It kept them close to her in a way that she couldn’t truly have anymore. The deer didn’t know Nix was there until the arrow lodged itself into the deer’s neck. It tried to fight the pain before it collapsed. Nix gave it a quick mercy kill, cutting its throat before she heaved the deer over her shoulders.

Adelaide looked impressed at how quickly Nix had taken the deer down. She led the way back to the group, keeping pace with her so that she didn’t get lost. Nix didn’t mind Adelaide; she was a nice woman, kind and rough when she had to be. Nix wouldn’t cross her if she had to. She got along well with Keaton, and Nix suspected that there was something going off between the two of them, not that Nix would mention it to either of them.

Yumiko and Magna were girlfriends. Nix hadn’t been bothered when Yumiko had told her, had instead hoped that the two of them would be happy together. The people in their group were slowly finding love in one another, apart from a select few.

The two women returned to the camp, and Nix got to work skinning the deer, removing the guts. It was now a tedious thing, a part of what made her part of the group, what her role was in their group. There were some others who tried their hand at hunting, but none of them quite managed to get the job done like Nix did.

‘We need to find somewhere safe for ourselves this winter.’ Connie signed to Nix over the deer. Nix nodded her agreement. ‘Where do you think we should go?’

Nix shrugged. ‘North. We can’t go any further east, can’t go south because we’d be going back the way we came. We can’t go too far west because the country is full of the dead.’

‘Reasonable thought,’ Connie signed to her. ‘Maybe you should lead us instead.’

‘You know we all work as a team. Teamwork makes the dream work.’

Connie laughed a little, nodding her head at her. ‘It’s impressive you manage to get the deer. Your father taught you, didn’t he?’

‘Yeah. He was nice. I think you’d like him when he wasn’t so … riled up. My uncle Merle used to be … a bit of a bad guy. Sometimes the two of them were better apart than together.’

‘People can be like that. Don’t worry about it.’ Connie patted her shoulder. ‘Are you going to cook the meat once you’re done?’

‘Of course; I’m hungry.’

The two shared a smile before Connie left her to her work. Nix watched her go, wondering how well Connie and Daryl would’ve gotten along if they had ever met. Maybe things would’ve been different. Nix pushed the thought out of her mind; there was no point thinking about things that couldn’t happen.

 


 

 

COALPORT

Nix looked to the others. ‘Do we risk it?’ she signed to Luke, looking to him for advice. The last time they had found themselves looking at a sign for a community, it had ended up becoming overrun, and with Nix killing living people for the first time.

They had just finished dealing with a herd of walkers that had been on their tail for the last hour and a half. They were low on supplies, bullets non-existent within their group. They were low on food, and that meant danger for them. It was getting close to winter once more, and their group wasn’t prepared to deal with winter. If they kept on like they were, they’d start to drop like flies. They needed to find somewhere safe, and the sign for Coalport had appeared. Everyone had paused, looking at the sign.

Would they prefer to risk the life they were leading, risk losing people, or would they risk the community they didn’t know, and risk all of their lives in one go? Nix felt uncomfortable, not sure which one she preferred.

‘We can always walk away if we don’t like it,’ Yumiko signed to her, speaking as she went for the others. ‘We have our choices.’

Nix looked to the others, and saw the looks in their eyes, full of excitement for the possibilities Coalport could bring them. Maybe it had promise. Nix didn’t know, and none of them would know until they went there. Nix bit her lip a little, eyeing up the sign for Coalport. She was tentative; she didn’t want to have a repeat of Jones Springs.

She could feel the way Magna was looking at her, looking for any signs of outward discomfort. Magna seemed to be in Nix’s corner, backing her up and her decisions, whenever someone went against her for it. Nix appreciated Magna’s presence that way and knew that she had to see her cousin in her. Magna had told her about her cousin, what had happened to her, and what Magna did to the man who had ruined her cousin’s life.

‘We try it. Like Yumiko said, we can walk away if we don’t like it.’

Luke smiled at Nix, and agreed with her, telling the others just as much. Magna nodded to Nix, and she returned the gesture. The two of them would be the ones most alert, wary of the people in Coalport. They would be the ones to determine whether or not Coalport would be safe enough for them. They would figure it out, would keep their group safe. They weren’t going to let another Jones Springs happen.

Yumiko led the way, following the signs for Coalport. The others followed her lead. Nix didn’t move from her spot, and neither did Magna. She looked to the older woman, seeing the distrust lining Magna’s face.

‘Don’t let this place fool you,’ Magna signed to Nix, looking at her with a tense expression. ‘Jones Springs fooled us; we can’t let them fool us again.’

‘I know. Let’s go.’

Chapter 7: Coalport

Chapter Text

Coalport was a strange place. It felt old, decrepit and hard to live in. It was still better than living in the world out there. The leader, Garrett, was an alright man, all things considered. He didn’t seem to mind that Connie and Nix were deaf and had allowed Nix to become part of the hunters; Coalport needed food, and the animal life nearby would sustain them. Nix just hoped that they knew not to over hunt and scare the animals away. It would make hunting harder if they weren’t careful.

It had a potential, and Nix knew that potential would be wasted by the leaders; Coalport had a council lead by Garrett, made up of people who didn’t know the first thing about leading, about how to keep their people safe. Nix’s group found that out rather early on in their stay at Coalport. Walkers attacked Coalport on a regular basis. They were a settlement near the sea, and the sound of the ocean brought the walkers towards them. Nix suspected that they also resided near mineshafts, as several walkers were dressed in mining gear.

The people of Coalport tried to live their lives as if the apocalypse had never happened. Their dream world could never truly exist, not with the world that they were living in, would always be living in. Nix didn’t know how long these people would last when reality would hit them. She didn’t know how they’d managed to survive for so long in their fantasy world. It made Nix feel sick, knowing that they had gotten a life like that while Nix and her group, and countless other people had suffered out there in the world.

Nix hated Coalport. She figured it was a fossilised city of shit. The people sucked, stuck in the past. Everything felt frozen, and the people were … peculiar when it came to Nix and Connie’s deafness.

It still surprised Nix that she was allowed to go beyond the walls to hunt. That had been something she hadn’t expected. Still, she used that privilege as often as she could, if just to go beyond the walls and make sure she didn’t forget what it was like. It kept her aware of the dangers, kept her mind ready for anything that could happen

Nix was sat on a bench. She had just returned from a hunt, had brought back a boar and some of its young, alongside a flute that she had found that she would give to Luke. It had been difficult to subdue the boar without killing it, even harder to get the young to go where she wanted. Still, she had managed to bring the boar and its kids to Coalport. They could grow the animals and eat them when they were old enough; it would mean the possibility of going out to hunt a little less when the animals had grown and had bred. People had taken the animals from Nix when she had returned to Coalport, and she had tried to get her message across to them, and she hoped they had gotten her point. She doubted it; they didn’t usually pay attention to the things she wanted them to understand.

She looked out to the space of Coalport. It was alright, she supposed. The buildings were old, and Nix knew they needed refurbishments, to be made more secure. Coalport’s buildings were old, enhancing the fossilisation of it. The place didn’t feel like something that could stand. It was a temporary stop for Nix and her group, for wherever they would go next.

Nix appreciated that Coalport was near the ocean. People could flee the land if – when – Coalport fell. It had Nix thinking about all the dangers they were surrounded by.

She looked up when a girl approached her. She was around Nix’s age, maybe a few months to a year older than her from her appearance. She had a bright smile on her face as she came and sat down beside Nix, who had a frown on her face.

‘I’m Hazel Presley,’ the girl signed, and it took Nix by surprise that she knew sign. “Sorry, that’s all I know. I barely remember the alphabet.”

Nix smiled at her, taken by surprise at the sudden sign language. She pulled out her trusty notepad and pen.

Don’t worry. I taught my friend by myself.
I can also read lips a little.

Hazel Presley smiled at her, a bright beaming thing that had Nix forgetting how to breathe. Hazel was pretty, with short, curly brown hair, brown skin, and eyes so dark they looked black. She seemed to be a little bit taller than Nix and had a similar frame to her.

“You joined Coalport with Magna and the others, right?” Hazel asked, and Nix nodded. “That’s cool. Magna and Yumiko are so cool. They’ve joined the defence group here,” she said, and Nix raised an eyebrow, having not been told about this group. “It’s a new thing, it’s only just started up. Magna suggested I could find you and train you; my dad runs the group, and he taught me everything he knows.”

I think I’d sleep better knowing how to
defend myself.

Hazel nodded and didn’t push Nix on why she wanted to know how to defend herself. Everyone with a brain in the apocalypse wanted to know how to take care of themselves, how to defend themselves against the people who wanted to do them harm. Nix supposed learning from someone her age would make it easier to trust Hazel, to let her defences fall a little as she learned how to protect herself.

 


 

 

Nix found that she got along well with Hazel Presley. She was funny, wicked smart, kind and pretty beautiful. Hazel went out of her way to learn how to sign, and she had even found an American Sign Language book that she used whenever she forgot how to sign something. She learned how to understand Nix’s signs, how she signed, and Hazel did her best to sign correctly. They spent most of their time together when they weren’t busy or weren’t with their respective families. It awoke something in Nix, and she didn’t know quite what it was. It was hard to place a name to what it was. Nix had tried to talk to Luke about it, and he’d had an amused look on his face, and told Nix to maybe talk to Connie or Magna and Yumiko about it, as it wasn’t his forte, and maybe she’d understand it better from a woman.

It left Nix more confused, and it terrified her. She had tried to talk to Connie about it, but she couldn’t find the right words to sign to her, finding it hard to convey what it was. Connie seemed to understand and had sat her down, telling her all about sexualities, from heterosexual to homosexual to bisexual. Something about bisexuality rang through Nix’s head, and it felt almost like a lightbulb had gone off in Nix’s head.

Connie was kind in explaining bisexuality to Nix. ‘It’s natural to you. Bisexuality means you have a preference for men and women. It may vary in degree, but it’s completely normal to you to feel this way.’

‘So, there’s nothing wrong with me?’ Nix signed to her, and she could feel the way that her eyes burned with tears she refused to let go.

‘There’s nothing wrong with you. I promise.’

‘Thanks, Mom.’ Nix paused and dropped her gaze to the floor. She couldn’t look at Connie.

She had never truly known her mom. She had carried Nix for nine months, had given birth to her, and then gave full custody to Daryl before she left the hospital. Nix had never really met her. Daryl didn’t keep pictures of her in their old home. Merle didn’t like mentioning Nix’s mom. She had been a taboo subject, and Nix hadn’t wanted to make her father uncomfortable by asking about her.

Connie was more of a mom to Nix than her real one.

‘I’m not mad,’ Connie signed to her, pulling her gaze from the floor to her. ‘I’m surprised and honoured that you consider me like that.’

‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

‘Sweetheart, you could never make me uncomfortable.’ Nix smiled at Connie, who had pulled her close into a hug, and Nix felt like she had found a home with Connie.

Now she knew what it was, that she had a label to put to those feelings, it somehow scared her even more than when she didn’t know what to name it. She was bisexual.

Nix dodged punch after punch. She moved swiftly, lightly on her feet as she made sure Hazel couldn’t get her. They were training together, much like they did every day. It was part of their routine to spar together in the morning and in the night. They had been doing it for months now.

Nix had been in Coalport longer than she’d been in Jones Springs. Although Coalport wasn’t the best community, Nix wasn’t being stalked by a crazy man. She was a valued member of the community with her skills in hunting and the defence she had been quick to pick up. Coalport also held several horses now. Nix had familiarised herself with the horses, remembering what Maggie Greene had told her about horses, how to ride them.

She still missed the group from Atlanta, from the farm. Nix could barely remember what they all looked like now, the memories faded and distorted, no photographs to help solidify what they looked like. Nix missed Sophia, and often tried to remember what she looked like, but the memory never did her justice.

Hazel knocked Nix’s feet out from under her. Nix grabbed her as she fell, and the two girls fell down, hitting the ground hard. Hazel tried to avoid landing on Nix, but she didn’t move fast enough, and their foreheads knocked together harshly.

‘Sorry,’ Nix signed, and Hazel repeated the sign, wincing as she rubbed at her forehead. Nix looked up at Hazel, and her brain felt like it short circuited as she looked at Hazel.

Hazel looked down at her, and she paused in her movements, eyes going over Nix’s face as they stayed still. Hazel put a hand on Nix’s face, a smile gracing her own face. Nix mimicked the smile, nervous and scared of what was going to happen.

Hazel pressed a quick kiss to Nix’s lips, pulling away almost as soon as she had leaned in. She looked shy and nervous, and clambered off Nix, then gave her a hand up. Nix kept hold of Hazel’s hand, eyes pleading with her for a moment before Nix pulled Hazel close, mouth on hers. Nix felt Hazel put her hands on her hips, and Nix put her arms around Hazel’s shoulders. The two of them were inexperienced and awkward, but Nix didn’t want it to end, didn’t want to leave Hazel.

In the end, Hazel was the one to pull away from Nix, a shy smile on her face. Nix huffed a laugh, fingers going into Hazel’s hair. Neither made a motion to get out of the other’s arms, and Nix felt at peace, at ease. Hazel kissed the side of Nix’s face before she rested her head on Nix’s shoulder.

 


 

 

‘Has something happened between you and Hazel?’ Luke asked over dinner. It was just the two of them, the others were out either on dates or patrol. The twins, Joe and Jax, were asleep, having taken some late-night patrols.

‘Kind of,’ Nix admitted. She felt the way her cheeks started to burn, blood rushing to her face. ‘We kissed. I … don’t know if she’s my girlfriend or not, but we did kiss. It was nice.’

Luke smiled at her, fond and curious. ‘Well, if she does end up being your girlfriend, can I meet her?’

‘You’ve already met her,’ Nix signed, a frown on her face as she got confused at what he meant.

‘I want to meet her as your girlfriend. It’s what parents usually do, and your father … isn’t here, and I thought that maybe I could be the next best thing.’

Nix knew where he was coming from; they’d been side by side for years now. He was as much a father figure as the man in her memories was. She felt something warm in her heart at the idea of referring to Luke as her father. He was as good as anyone to be her father figure, and he was her long-time friend.

‘I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll see if Hazel wants to see you. Either tomorrow or another day.’ Nix signed, a smile on her face as she saw the way Luke’s face brightened with happiness. ‘You’re so weird.’

‘You love me for it though.’

‘Yeah, I do.’ She paused for a moment, thinking things over. ‘Coalport’s shit. But it’s … shown me I have family in ways I didn’t think I could.’ Luke raised his eyebrows at her, silently questioning her. ‘Connie’s a mother I never had. I accidentally called her mom. She took it well. It was nice. You’re like a father to me, and always have been ever since we met. Kelly’s always been a sister to me. Magna and Yumiko are like …’ Nix trailed off, not sure what to call them. They were certainly something.

‘Crazy wine aunts?’ Luke suggested.

She smiled. ‘Yeah, crazy wine aunts. When we were escaping Jones Springs, Magna kept her eye on me. I know I’m pretty close with her. She’s nice. I know she’d do anything to keep me safe.’ It meant a lot to her that Magna would go out of her way to look out for her, to be her ears when Nix’s own didn’t work.

‘Magna has told me that she has a soft spot for you,’ Luke told her, and both of them laughed. It was clear that Magna cared for Nix, kept an eye out for her in a way that she didn’t for the others in their group. Nix suspected it was because of what had happened in Jones Springs, that Magna could see her little cousin in Nix. Whatever it was, it meant Magna was a close friend to Nix. ‘She tries to do right by you.’

‘I know. She’s good like that.’ Nix felt fond of Magna. She had her issues, fucked up now and then, but she always did her best. That was what mattered to Nix; Magna tried. ‘I think I should talk to her about stuff.’

‘Girls.’

Nix nodded her head, feeling a little embarrassed to be having this conversation with Luke. She supposed it was better than what would be the awkwardness of having it with Daryl and Merle. Her heart felt heavy as she thought about them, and she hoped that they were OK, wherever they were. ‘Magna and Yumiko are together, so I think … once I sort things out with Hazel, that we talk. So that I can learn from them.’

She supposed she wanted to know what it was like to have a partner, especially a partner who was like her, a girl. Magna and Yumiko had their moments, arguing and hating each other, but they always came back to each other. It was nice to see them from an outside perspective, and Nix wanted to know if it were different to if she had a partner who wasn’t a girl. She put the thoughts on hold; Magna and Yumiko were both currently busy, and Nix had yet to talk to Hazel. But she’d spoken with Connie about it, and that had made it clear what she was feeling, able to put it into words properly. It meant a lot to her that Connie had helped her figure out that part of her identity as a whole.

Nix wondered how her dad would react if he found out she and Hazel had kissed, that she wanted Hazel to be her girlfriend. In a way, she didn’t want to know what her father’s reaction would’ve been. He wasn’t there, and it didn’t matter anymore. She had her own family.

 


 

 

Joe and Jax had died.

They’d gone on a scouting run into the nearest city to them, with a group. Only two people out of the six of them returned. Nix had cried, knowing that her friends had died, taken from them too soon.

There had been a funeral of sorts, in the broken down church for the people to come and pay respects to those who had lost their lives. Most of the people in Coalport didn’t know who Joe and Jax were, and Nix felt like it was an insult to the twins that these people mourned them despite never talking to them. Maybe that was Nix’s own mourning getting in the way of her logical thinking.

Hazel was sat beside Nix, offering silent comfort. Hazel knew Nix was friends with the twins. That they had been in the same group before coming to Coalport. Nix held onto Hazel’s hand as she watched the ceremony from one of the council members. Nix clenched her jaw, feeling the familiar sting of tears behind her eyes. It wasn’t fair that the twins had died. It hurt that they had died on the same day, and Nix and her group would never know how it had all gone down.

The two survivors hadn’t seen Joe and Jax die, but they had heard the screams, saw what remained from the corpses after the walkers had devoured them. Nix couldn’t stop the images flashing through her head as her mind twisted the ideas of how the two could’ve died. They had to live with not knowing, and Nix hated not knowing. She supposed she should’ve gotten used to not knowing in this world.

Nix was now seventeen, and that had felt like a huge accomplishment for her, to be able to survive so long into the apocalypse with no hearing, to do what others probably thought was impossible for her. They had been in Coalport for a year, and they’d lost Joe and Jax. Nix hated Coalport and its scouts for losing the twins. It was hard to know that they had lost part of their family, and it reminded them that nothing was safe, that their family could be torn apart by the simplest of things. It brought reality back in, slamming into them like a freight train.

Hazel walked Nix back to her place. She was good company and good at comforting Nix in a way others couldn’t comfort her. They were slowly figuring things out between them, what was and wasn’t OK, and Nix was fine to go at Hazel’s pace, slow and steady until they had sorted and talked things out between them. Nix enjoyed most every second she spent with Hazel, whether it was learning defence from her or reading books together. It made Nix feel normal, feel at ease. It was the only time when Nix wasn’t tense, fit to burst from anxiety and nerves.

The two had been together for a few months now, and Hazel was as nice as could be. Her father was a nice man too and didn’t bat an eye when Hazel told him that Nix was her girlfriend. He had told them to stay safe and to not do anything too bad and had let them go up into Hazel’s room. The girls had blushed at his words, and Hazel had had to try and muffle Nix’s laughter. Hazel’s little brother, Liam, didn’t seem to care; too preoccupied by the comic books he had stolen from his sister’s room.

Nix had told Hazel about Jones Springs. The old community always made Nix feel uncomfortable, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up, hands getting clammy. But she had persevered, had been honest with Hazel about her past experiences with communities, why the others in her group were hesitant to join in with the community. Hazel had been kind, letting Nix get everything off her chest in a way that she couldn’t with the others in her group. It was relieving that they were able to be honest with each other about their pasts.

Nix told her how she’d hurt Silas, the way she had tried to take out his eye with her arrow, how she’d stabbed him and killed him, the relief she felt when she knew he could no longer hurt her. She told Hazel about Erika, how Magna had killed her for Nix, to try and keep her safe because she’d been so young, and it had been a horrible situation. Remembering Erika and Silas left her feeling uneasy, sick, but it had been good for her to get it off her chest properly for the first time, someone who didn’t have attachments to Nix’s group or Jones Springs.

‘You’re strong, Nix,’ Hazel had signed to her, pulling Nix into her lap. ‘I know you were terrified, but you did all that you could and more. Don’t let Silas’ ghost hang on to you.’

‘I won’t. I’ve got you with me.’

“Sweet girl,” Hazel said, a smile on her face before she’d pulled Nix down into a kiss. Nix had let herself get lost in the kiss, in the embrace with Hazel. Being with Hazel was as easy as breathing, and it let her feel alive in a way she hadn’t experienced before.

Telling Hazel about Jones Springs had helped Nix bury the hatchet, to finally be able to move on. Of course, the ghost would linger, and she could never truly forget it. She had the ability to move on from it, to try and grow from what had happened there. She could try and put Silas and Erika in the past, to not let their ghosts hold her down as she moved on into the future.

Another year passed in Coalport, and Nix had turned eighteen. The place was still a shithole, but they were safe. Luke and the others had had a small party for Nix turning eighteen, and it had been fun. Hazel had been there, arms loped around Nix throughout the entire party, never leaving her side. She planted kisses on Nix’s face the entire night, talking to Nix’s family as if she’d known them for all her life. Nix felt fond seeing the interactions, and she felt something akin to peace. They were a small family, complete and ready to protect each other. They were each other’s home, and Nix never wanted to lose them.

Spring came, and Nix spent a lot of her time outside of the walls of Coalport, hunting. Sometimes Hazel joined her on her hunts, and other days she tried to get a job catching fish, getting jobs by the ocean. Hazel had just wanted to be with her, and Nix had been happy to oblige, letting her join her on the long hunting trips. It meant that Nix wasn’t alone, and Hazel could act as her ears.

Nix taught Hazel how to track animals, to tell the difference in tracks from animals, humans, and walkers. The skill was a useful one, and Nix wanted to make sure Hazel could do such things if Nix wasn’t there for her. Nix even taught Hazel how to use her barebow. Nix had found limbs for it, getting the drawback up to thirty pounds. It gave the bow more power, and Nix found it somewhat reassuring that her bow had more power put behind each arrow.

Nix was currently hiding in a tree with Hazel, watching the herd of walkers amble past, unaware of the two girls there. The warm weather had the walkers moving, more active than the winter months, and Nix was always fascinated to see them start to move around more. Hazel was behind Nix, who was leaning back against her. The two watched the walkers ambling past, unaware of them, unaware of how Hazel kept kissing the back of Nix’s neck, a smile on her face as she felt Nix’s hands on her legs.

It was nice spending time with Hazel, just the two of them. They had been together for a while now, and Nix didn’t want to ever let Hazel go. She had even moved in with Nix. The two shared a room, woke up together and went to sleep by each other’s side. Nix enjoyed every second of it, woke with a smile on her face every day.

The two watched as the last of the walkers ambled past, below them. Nix shifted in her spot so that she could look at Hazel. Six years of the apocalypse, and Nix had somehow found Hazel. Hazel, who could kick ass and paint majestic paintings that left Nix and others in awe. Hazel, who hated hazelnuts but loved cashews more than was reasonable. Hazel, who had gone out of her way to learn sign language, always kept a book on her for when someone needed to talk to Nix or Connie.

Hazel Presley.

‘I love you.’ Nix signed to her, feeling warm and fond as she looked at Hazel.

Hazel smiled and put her hands on either side of Nix’s face. She kissed Nix, soft and slow, without a care in the world. Nix held onto her; she always found herself reeling whenever Hazel kissed her, held her, or touched her in any capacity. She felt drunk on love. She knew they were young, just starting out, but Nix couldn’t wait for the life that they had together, the future.

‘I love you too,’ Hazel signed when she pulled away from Nix. She kissed her once more, and both of them were smiling, quietly laughing together, enjoying the proximity and the care they had for one another.

Nix knew she was lucky to have Hazel.

‘We’ll give it ten more minutes before we head back to Coalport.’ Nix signed to her, and Hazel nodded her agreement, running her hand through Nix’s short hair. She’d had it cut not that long ago, just to her shoulders, instead of trailing down her back. It bothered her, the length of it, and she didn’t want walkers grabbing her hair, didn’t want it bothering her when she was hunting.

Hazel had told her she suited the short style. It had brightened Nix’s day.

Hazel turned to look in the direction Coalport was in, a frown on her face. ‘There were gunshots. I think something’s happening back home.’

‘The walkers –’

‘We’ll have to avoid them. I’m your ears,’ Hazel signed, glancing back in the direction of Coalport. ‘Please, we have to go, people could be hurt. Luke could be hurt.’

Nix nodded, jaw clenched, and then the two girls were climbing down the tree. Hazel took hold of Nix’s hand, and they ran back to Coalport.

The walkers were still nearby, and they had to be careful not to get their attention and bring them back to Coalport. The two girls moved as quickly as they could through the trees and bushes, dodging tree roots and rabbit holes as they made their way back to Coalport.

Nix could feel the way her heart started to beat madly in her chest, hammering away against her sternum. She was worried as to why there were gunshots. It made her worry about the others. Coalport wasn’t the best place to stay at, but it had given them some upsides like having Hazel around. But something had to have happened for the guards or maybe even a civilian inside to have shot their gun.

Nix and Hazel got to the gates and waved their arms for the guards usually up there. There were no guards.

‘They’re not there. Help me up.’ Hazel signed, then pulled Nix along to the wall. Nix leaned against it; hands linked on her knee. Nix hefted Hazel up, grunting a little as she pushed her hands up above her head, pushing Hazel high enough up so she could grab onto the ledge of the wall. Nix stood back as she looked up at Hazel, watching her clamber over the wall.

A few moments later, the gates were opening. Nix slipped in, and she immediately took hold of her bow, nocking an arrow in place. There was smoke filtering through the streets, and there were bodies strewn everywhere.

‘What do we do?’ Nix asked, looking to Hazel.

‘We be careful. Look for my dad and your group.’ Nix nodded at Hazel’s signs, relieved that she was taking control, being rational despite the situation they were in.

Hazel led the way, holding her gun up as they moved through the streets. They got to Hazel’s house, and they slipped inside, the fresher air a relief to their lungs. Nix shut the door behind them, and looked around, trying to find Hazel’s father.

Hazel was frozen in the doorway to the dining room, and Nix could see her entire body trembling. Nix moved over to her, a frown on her face, and she looked in the direction she was.

Her father was devouring Hazel’s little brother.

Nix put a hand on Hazel’s shoulder, gently pulling her away from the situation so that she couldn’t see it. Nix drew back her bowstring, anchoring to her face as she aimed at the walker. It barely noticed she was there before it was dead. She was gentle when she walked over and pulled the arrow out, and even more gentle when she slipped the blade of her knife into the young boy’s head, stopping him from turning.

She looked back in the direction of Hazel, and saw her crumpled up on the floor, body shaking hard as she sobbed.

Nix didn’t know what to do aside from comfort her, pull her into her lap, and let her sob into her shoulder. She ran her fingers through Hazel’s hair, holding her close and tight to let her know that she was there, and that she wouldn’t leave.

Nix would never leave Hazel; she’d die before she left her girlfriend alone in the world.

Hazel continued to sob into Nix’s shoulder, arms around her, nails digging into Nix’s skin so hard it hurt, but she didn’t do anything about it, letting Hazel sob as much as she needed to before they had to get out of Coalport.

Nix looked up, out the window, and she tensed up.

The walkers were there.

She pried Hazel away from her. ‘The dead are outside. We’re trapped.’

The confusion was evident on Hazel’s face. Nix pointed in the direction of the window, and she tensed up, seeing the dead there, ambling past. They hadn’t noticed the girls just yet. Hazel grabbed Nix’s hand and she pulled them into the living room.

‘What do we do?’ Hazel signed, and it was Nix’s turn to take charge.

‘Stay here. I’ll be right back.’

She crept to the back door and slipped outside. She moved to the gates and peered through the gaps. There was a particularly fat walker scraping its dead hands at the gates. Nix opened the gates, hiding as it crept through, and then she shut the gates and jumped up, stabbing it through the head with a knife.

It tumbled to the floor, and Nix stabbed it through the head again, just to be sure that it was really dead. She then dragged it to the back door, where Hazel was looking at her in horror.

‘The leader of my old group did this, walked through the dead in Atlanta. Get some bedsheets.’ Hazel looked at her briefly before she nodded, turning to go back into the house. She returned a few minutes later with two white sheets. ‘Rip holes into them for our heads.’

Hazel did as she was asked, and Nix turned to look at the walker. She could skin animals, gut them. What was that compared to a walker?

Nix grimaced as she stabbed into the gut, pulling the knife along to slice open the skin. She held her breath when the smell filled her nose, and Hazel had looked away, hunched over like she was gagging. Nix kept going until she was pleased with her work opening up the walker.

She reached over to tap at Hazel’s leg. Hazel looked at her. ‘Put the bedsheet on. I’ll cover you with the stuff.’

Hazel kept her eyes shut once the bedsheet covered her. Nix groaned a little, the noise coming out without her meaning to. Then she dug her hands into the walker and pulled the guts out, covering Hazel’s back with it. The stench was disgusting, and it was worse now that the walker’s guts were out in the open. She tried to make quick work of Hazel’s cover, making sure the bedsheet was covered in enough guts before she decided it was enough and pulled her own bedsheet over her.

Nix hated the feeling of the guts, wet and sticky, all gross and stinking, but she let Hazel cover her in the stuff. They had to make sure they were both covered enough before they went out into the herd that had infiltrated Coalport. How had the walkers even managed to get in? Nix doubted she’d ever get the answer, much like every situation in her life.

Once they were done, the two girls looked at each other.

‘Hold my hand and don’t let go.’ Nix told Hazel. Hazel nodded, and then she leaned over, pressing her forehead against Nix’s for a moment.

‘Let’s go. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Nix signed, then held out her hand. Hazel took it. Nix steeled herself, and then they moved over to the gates. She looked through the gaps, then opened it once more, leading Hazel out into the crowd of the dead.

Chapter 8: The Time After

Chapter Text

The herd smelled of the rotting flesh. It was a permanent scent in Nix’s nose. She glanced back at Hazel, who looked terrified as she followed Nix through the herd. Their hands were clasped tight together, and neither wanted to let go of the other. Nix didn’t want to risk losing Hazel. She couldn’t lose her, not in a situation like this. It made Nix tense as she thought about the potential ways they could die as they walked through the herd.

Nix was nervous, trying to be as careful as she could as she pushed her way through the dead, trying not to alert them of their presence. Hazel kept close by, pressing into Nix’s side as they pushed on. They couldn’t do anything about Coalport now except leave. They would have to go to a rendezvous point that Nix and Luke had figured out, then see who else would meet up there from their old group. See if anyone had joined them to tag along.

The sun was starting to set, and Nix felt the way her heart leaped in her chest, hammering away as hard as it could as they started to make it to the gates of Coalport. The two girls were wary, pushing through the dead, trying to make it to the gates without the dead noticing them or following them out of the ruins of Coalport. Nix didn’t know what she would do if she lost Hazel in the middle of the horde that had destroyed Coalport.

The broken gates of Coalport came into view. Nix had never been more relieved to see the broken, open gates of Coalport before. She tugged at Hazel’s hand and led her through the undead bodies. It smelled horrific, being covered in the guts, being surrounded by the dead, but Nix knew it was a small price to pay just so that they could live to see another day.

They escaped the shithole that was Coalport. Once they were far enough away, they shed their bedsheets covered in walker blood and guts and ran away. They had a rendezvous point to go to. Nix was the one who led the way to the rendezvous point, having learned the layout of the land ever since she had first arrived at Coalport. She knew the best routes to get there with minimal risk of the walkers.

The cabin came into view, and Nix felt relief flood her.  Nix smiled as Kelly and Luke noticed her. She pulled Hazel in their direction. She hugged Luke, then Kelly, glad that someone else had gotten to the rendezvous point.

‘You’re both OK?’ Nix asked, looking at the two. There were tear stains on Kelly’s face, all dried up but still prominent. Nix wondered what the two could’ve gone through before they got to the rendezvous point. ‘What happened to Coalport?’

‘Someone left the gates open after coming back from the ocean. Sickos got in and everyone panicked. They started to shoot but it brought more of the sickos down on us. Everything got out of hand. We tried to escape and barely got out with our lives.’ Luke signed to the two girls. ‘Are you two OK?’

Nix glanced back at Hazel. She had an empty look in her eyes. ‘Her dad and brother died. We saw them and had to put them down.’ Nix signed, careful not to let Hazel see what she was telling Luke, lest she start to cry again. She’d lost two people in one fell swoop, and it had to hurt her in a way Nix couldn’t understand.

‘Kelly got lost and got scared. I managed to find her and bring her here. She lost sight of Connie, so she’s scared that the worst’s happened.’ Luke signed to Nix, back to Kelly, who was tearing up again.

‘Was Connie near anyone else?’

‘Magna and Yumiko, I think, but I can’t be certain,’ Luke signed, worry lining his face. ‘We just have to wait to see if anyone else will come here,’

‘We wait for as long as we can,’ Nix signed, feeling something familiar about the situation. Only this time, she’d made it to the rendezvous in time. She didn’t want to leave anyone behind the way that she had been left behind.

 


 

 

The sun had set, and they had yet to leave. Missy had found them, near bursting into tears when she saw the others there, knowing she wasn’t the only one who had made it out of Coalport alive.

‘I saw Brandon go down,’ she signed, speaking to the others. There was an uneasy look on her face as she relived what she saw. ‘I tried to put him out of his misery.’

‘He’s not in pain anymore,’ Nix signed to Missy, trying to reassure her. She didn’t know if she told Missy the right things, if she was making it worse or not, but she knew she had to try. ‘He’s with Joe and Jax now.’

Missy nodded to Nix, then turned away to wipe at her eyes. Nix felt defeated, not knowing how to comfort Missy, so she let her be and went and sat beside Hazel. She held her hand out to Hazel, who took hold of it. Hazel rested her head on Nix’s shoulder, eyes shut as the others waited around, unsure of whether to go or not. Nix’s eyes felt warm, the stinging feeling in the back of them sharp, but she blinked away the tears. She had to be strong for the people around her, for Hazel.

Kelly didn’t want to leave until she knew where Connie was, if she was alive or not.

They kept watch, waiting for their people to arrive. Nix was tense as she kept watch. Kelly was keeping Hazel company, both of them stressed and upset. Missy was beside them too. Nix and Luke were the only ones on watch, the others too upset.

Nix was the first one to spot Adelaide. She was covered in walker blood, and there were tear streaks going down her face, smearing the blood on her cheeks. Nix had rushed to meet her, trying to offer comfort and reassurance as Adelaide looked to her. There was an empty look in her eyes.

“Keaton,” she said, and Nix managed to read it off her lips. Nix knew what she meant.

‘I’m sorry,’ she signed, not knowing what else to sign to the woman. Nix knew how close they were, the quiet relationship they had entered together. Nix didn’t know what to say to Adelaide, how to comfort her knowing that her partner was dead. Nix was terrified of losing Hazel the same way Adelaide had lost Keaton. ‘Some others are at the rendezvous.’

Adelaide nodded, and let Nix lead her back to the others.

Hazel distracted herself by helping Adelaide clean herself up, removing the dirty clothes and washing her skin of walker blood. The others had given the two privacy, resuming their watch as they waited for the others. They had to wait for Yumiko and Magna, Connie, Maisy and Jane the sisters, and Bernie. They would wait until they got their damn answers.

Nix spotted Connie two hours later. She was flanked by Yumiko and Magna. Kelly rushed past Nix, running at her sister, and pulled her into a tight hug. The two swayed at the motion, and Nix smiled a little fondly, glad that the sisters were together again. It wasn’t right to keep family apart.

‘Who else is here?’

‘Adelaide, Missy and Hazel,’ Nix signed to Yumiko when she stood in front of her. ‘Keaton and Brandon didn’t make it. We’re just waiting for Maisy, Jane and Bernie. What happened?’

Yumiko glanced back at the others. ‘We left our posts otherwise we would’ve been dead. Shit went down, you don’t what to know what happened. We saw Maisy and Jane, and thought they made it out before us.’

Nix nodded her head. ‘How long do we wait here? We can’t stay here forever, we’re too close to Coalport.’

‘Not long. Another hour or two. If they’re not here by then, we leave them a note and get the hell out of here.’ Yumiko signed. She sighed a little, then patted Nix’s arm. ‘Go talk to Hazel. I don’t know what she’s lost but she needs you. I’ll keep watch.’

Nix let Yumiko take the position on watch, and she made her way into the cabin. Hazel was in one of the small bedrooms, and she was still crying. Nix didn’t know how to comfort her. She sat beside her and offered her hand. Hazel took it hesitantly before she clung to Nix’s hand tightly. Nix raised their hands and kissed the back of Hazel’s hand. She looked up at Hazel and offered a sad smile. Hazel pulled her into a tight hug.

Bernie returned to them, looking mostly unscathed. He had lucked out on getting out of Coalport. He knew the horrors that had gone on inside of the community and didn’t need to ask to know that the others had suffered.

Maisy had appeared a few hours later, holding a bloody Jane, who was missing part of her left arm from bites that the dead had given her. Jane had died half an hour later after arriving at the rendezvous, just glad to have made it out and had been able to see everyone one last time before she succumbed to the fever. They had taken the time out to bury Jane, give a eulogy to her and helped Maisy mourn the loss of her younger sister. Nix couldn’t understand the pain she was going through, but she tried her best to help the older woman.

Their group had set off walking when the sun had started to rise in the sky.

Nix didn’t know what they were going to do. She knew that their group didn’t have a full plan on where to go or what to do about shelter. Their group just kept on walking. Nix was worried about the others, Adelaide, Maisy, and Hazel. The three women had lost people close to them, family, and Nix didn’t know how to comfort them over their losses. Nix knew what loss felt like, but she hadn’t seen the people she had lost die. She couldn’t quite relate to what they were going through.

She stepped in time with Hazel, who had been lagging behind the group a little, eyes on the floor. Nix offered her hand, and Hazel took it quietly. Nix squeezed Hazel’s hand, and offered a smile when Hazel looked at her. Hazel returned the smile weakly, and looked ahead of herself, looking at the other members of their group.

They were weak and broken, and Nix was scared that she’d see the others die. She couldn’t let them die, couldn’t lose any more of her group.

 


 

 

Maisy was the first one to go. Nix had been the one to find her. They were supposed to change watch every few hours in the small house their group had holed up in, and it was Nix’s turn for watch. Maisy was dead, arms slit up to the elbows. She had already started to turn, and Nix had killed her with tear filled eyes and blurry eyesight.

Nix had woken the others up to alert them of Maisy’s sudden death, that she was no longer with them, and had almost turned. She had put them in danger in her suicide, and Nix could only hope that Maisy was at peace now, and that she didn’t regret her actions. It hurt knowing that Maisy was gone, that their group had lost yet another person to the cruel world they were living in, but they didn’t have much time to mourn her. They’d managed to bury her at least, but then they were moving, leaving her behind like they had with everyone else that they had lost.

Nix’s group made a rig. It was built over the course of a few days after Maisy’s death, and it was big enough to hold them all and their few belongings. They had been stuck where their rig was, until Luke told them of some horses in a nearby field. Nix had helped them to get the horses tied to the rig to get it into motion so that they could travel as memories of Maggie, Beth and Hershel played out in her mind, faded and blurred.

Their group kept relatively close to the oceanside, keeping it on their right as they made their way up north. They kept walking, kept moving. It was constant and meant more animals to come across. They would stop every few days, and Nix would go out and hunt. She came across squirrels, snakes, rabbits, and deer. She managed to snag an owl once, which didn’t quite hit the spot when they had all shared it.

Their group made a slow trek up north. They passed through North Carolina, a slow and steady thing as they searched through small towns, killing every single dead one that they came across. Virginia had felt barren, going down the wrong roads, finding nothing to help them on their travels. It had been rough in Virginia. A few times Bernie and the others thought that there were potential communities there, but they could never find them. They ended up in a building, where they hid away supplies and barricaded the stairwells. They’d return there if need be, if nowhere else provided safety.

They moved on from Virginia, which made Nix’s heart break a little, not that she understood why, and they moved on through Maryland. Maryland wasn’t much better than Virginia, and the heat was nigh on unbearable. But Nix had grown up in Georgia, and the heat there had been worse, with busted air conditioning units that never worked right. The Maryland sun burned her skin, seeping deep down into her bones, a harsh tan on her skin.

The group took a wide berth around Washington city, trying to avoid the dead numbers there. They didn’t know how many of the dead ones would still be there in the city, and with the state some of their group was in – still mourning, some with sunstroke – it felt better to give the city a miss rather than risk going inside the city. They made solid plans to not go further north, to not delve into New York City. They knew the number of people that had lived there and didn’t fancy their chances now that most of those numbers would now be dead.

Instead, their group moved on to Philadelphia. They settled into the farmland in Philly, getting comfortable enough for Nix to turn nineteen whilst they stayed there. They suffered a harsh winter, almost losing their horses, their food coming bare and thin as they rationed to the extreme. Nix went out hunting every day during winter, trying to find something that would keep them alive if for a few more days. Nix hadn’t felt the fear of winter like that since she had first been alone. It brought on the memories of being scared, not knowing what to do. But she had planned as best she could with her group.

‘We’re struggling,’ Hazel signed to Nix one night. They were huddled up together, using each other for warmth, the few blankets covering them never quite enough to keep the cold at bay.

Nix nodded. ‘I know. We’ve struggled through worse. We can get through this.’ She took hold of Hazel’s hand and pulled it close to her mouth, kissing the back of it. ‘I’ll find something on one of my hunts.’

‘Don’t get caught by a bear.’

It made Nix smile. ‘I won’t. Promise. Get some rest.’

Hazel curled up around her side, and Nix kept her arms around her, jaw clenched tight as they both shuddered from the cold. It was a harsh thing, and Nix was always scared that one of them would die from pneumonia, would turn in the night, and that would be the end of them. She didn’t want them to die like that, but she couldn’t stop imagining how things would go down if that became a reality for them.

Winter slowly eased up, and they were all starved. Nix still went out hunting every day, bringing back a few squirrels or rabbits each time. She killed two possums once, and no-one had complained when the meat tasted different to the other animals she usually caught. They were desperate, low on food, and anything would do for them.

Nix could also see how Adelaide had changed since they had left Coalport. She hadn’t been the same since she had lost Keaton. She had been reckless during the winter. She argued with Magna the most and would walk out on them for days at a time. Nix didn’t know why Adelaide acted out like that, especially when they had suffered the worst winter by far. She didn’t know how to ask Adelaide to stop doing what she was doing. But she knew that it could only be a matter of time before someone got hurt from Adelaide’s actions.

Nix was scared of the future, what it had in store for her group, for her family.

Springtime came, and they searched houses. Nix had found a Stradivarius violin hidden away inside a child’s bedroom. It reminded her of Luke, and she had returned the violin to him. Luke had almost cried when he set his eyes on the violin, and he had hugged her, signing to her as quickly as he could, telling her the sheer importance of the Stradivarius, what it had gone through throughout history. That had been the start of trying to sate Luke’s addition to instruments. Though whatever instruments they found, nothing quite compared to the Stradivarius.

It somehow brought the group even closer, as they searched for food, clothes, weapons and water, they also searched for instruments. It became a joke to them, that Luke had a fetish for instruments. It was all good natured and joking and was always brought up whenever someone found a flute or a tambourine. When they felt like they could risk it without the dead hearing them, Luke would play one of the instruments for them. It was nice and made them all feel safe and content.

Hazel had revealed that she used to play the flute before the end of the world, and she and Luke had performed together, an almost competitive thing as they no doubt got quicker in pace trying to outmatch each other. It had brought smiles to everyone’s faces, and for once they had all gone to sleep feeling something akin to ease.

The summer was hot and bore down on them. They risked going further into Philly, finding the city abandoned, the dead decayed and skinny, too weak to move. The mouths would snap at them, but the limbs couldn’t reach out for them. After so long, the dead were finally starting to become a weaker threat. It made Nix wonder if they could ever truly get rid of the threat of the dead and take back the world. She doubted it would be in her lifetime, however long that would last.

Nix still noticed the way that Adelaide was never the same. She had stopped lashing out at everyone, but was now quiet, turning in on herself, keeping to herself. It concerned Nix, and she talked to Magna about it. She had mentioned to Magna before that Adelaide’s recklessness had reminded her of Silas and Erika, and that had been more than enough for Magna to go and have a word with Adelaide about her attitude.

Silas and Erika was still a sore subject for Nix. Nix figured she should’ve had some type of therapy for it, but they were stuck without electricity, never mind a therapist on hand.

Still, Nix wondered if they had left it too late for Adelaide, if Adelaide was now beyond help. It worried her, and she didn’t know what she would do if they lost her. It was hard enough, moving on with the knowledge and memory of everyone else that they had lost along the way, all the hardships that they had gone through. They had to keep powering on, if to just keep the memory of those lost alive.

Adelaide looked like she had started to come back to them as autumn arrived. Nix turned twenty. It still surprised her how long she had managed to survive, given her inability to hear. But she had the others, and was always learning from Connie, who had been deaf longer than her, had more experience than her. Nix strived to be like Connie, and although they were still vastly different, Nix could see Connie in a parental light. She always had, ever since they had first met. It had been a stronger light then, and Nix had had to be careful, trying not to slip up and call Connie mom.

The winter they endured wasn’t as bad as the last one, and they had managed to secure enough dried meat to last into the winter, had berries and wild fruits, had water too. They made it through the winter together, freezing their asses off but they had managed it without any casualties.

‘We’ll never part,’ Hazel signed to Nix one night. They were taking watch whilst the others slept. ‘If I find a ring for you, would you marry me?’

It made Nix’s heart flutter; her stomach tied up in knots. ‘Only if I can find a ring for you,’ she replied. It brought a smile to Hazel’s face, and when they were relieved of watch by Magna, who looked like she knew too much, the two young women snuck off to go somewhere more private.

Spring slowly returned to them, bringing more animals out of hiding. Nix got busy hunting, scoring enough food to last them a while. She had been proud of herself, managing to hunt through the dead filled woods, finding animal after animal that would serve its purpose.

It felt like only a few days later as the spring weather gradually got warmer, that they came across a herd. Nix had taken charge, leading the group away from the dead that had surrounded them. Hazel had been by her side, and they moved through the herd, covered in blood as they tried to return to their rig. Connie, Kelly, Bernie and Luke were still at the rig, and once they returned to it, their group would have to move. The herd would find them there eventually, and they’d prefer it if they were long gone before the dead got to the field.

Hazel grabbed Nix’s hand, and she turned to look at her. Hazel pointed to the back of the group, where Adelaide was. She had dropped her gun and had taken off her bloodied bedsheet. The dead were closing in on her. Adelaide looked at them, offering a pathetic sad smile. The dead hands grabbed at her and tore into her before anyone in their group could do anything.

Nix watched on in horror as Adelaide collapsed, the dead surrounding her. Magna appeared in front of Nix as Yumiko brought up the rear, Adelaide’s gun in her hand.

‘Let’s go,’ Magna signed to Nix, taking control of the situation. Magna led the four of them away, and Nix didn’t look back. Nix wondered how long Adelaide had screamed for as the undead gorged on her flesh before the pain had killed her. It made Nix glad that she couldn’t hear.

 


 

 

‘She just took the sheet off and died,’ Hazel signed, upset lining her face as she laid beside Nix.

‘I know. But it was her choice to do that,’ Nix signed, and reached over to put a hand on Hazel’s arm. ‘Don’t think about it.’

Hazel looked away for a moment before she nodded. She leaned over and kissed Nix, who held onto her tightly. Both young women were spooked from Adelaide’s sudden suicide, and now they were unsure and scared as to how the others felt towards their lives.

‘Don’t do anything like what Adelaide did,’ Nix asked of Hazel. ‘I don’t want to lose you that way.’

‘You won’t lose me like that. We look out for each other,’ Hazel signed, and pushed Nix down onto the bed. ‘Get some sleep, you’ve got watch duty tonight.’

Not that anyone would sleep, all of them too tense after seeing what Adelaide had done.

Morning came, and Missy had gone missing. Their group had dwindled down to eight from the sixteen that they used to be before Jones Springs, now that Missy had gone missing, and the others had died. They tried to search for her, with Nix tracking her trail until it went cold at a river.

‘What do you see?’ Yumiko asked, kneeling beside Nix.

‘She ran here. There aren’t any other tracks, she came willingly. She … stepped into the river on her own, without being pressured. It was her own choice. I don’t know where she could have gone from there.’ Nix shrugged her shoulders, glancing away from Yumiko to the river. Missy hadn’t taken her things, had left them at the rig before she’d walked off. Nix didn’t know what to do, what else to suggest to get Missy back. Either she had drowned or had swam across to the other banking and had continued walking, though Nix didn’t find the latter likely.

Nix thought that Missy had to have drowned, though she didn’t know the reasons why. Maybe if they searched through Missy’s things, they’d find a note, find the answer to the questions that they wanted answered.

The weather slowly turned colder after a blazing heat of a summer, and Nix turned twenty-one. She had spent nine years without her father, soon it would’ve been half her life she’d spent away from him, and half her life spent with Luke, her pseudo-father. He had become the father figure that she had so desperately needed after that year on her own, and he had become the father that she had lost.

Connie had become the other parental figure in Nix’s life. Connie knew that Nix saw her as a mother of sorts, one that she had never had. It was nice, the relationship that Connie and Nix had, and Nix knew that no-one else could compare to what Connie meant to her. Having never known her real mother, Connie had fallen into the mother figure spot with ease, despite what had happened in her past that Connie had told Nix about one night.

Kelly had become the bigger sister that Nix didn’t know she wanted. Nix had always been a single child, had always been the youngest out of the groups she had been in, and Kelly had been a fun, similar-aged person who had bonded with her. Kelly was fun to know, and her ability in sign language was admirable. Nix was forever thankful that she could translate conversations for her, so that she understood what happened in the group if others forgot to sign.

Magna was someone who Nix maybe hadn’t expected to become so close to; she was determined in learning sign language, and throughout the years that they had known each other, Magna had kept an eye out for Nix, ready to protect her at a moment’s notice. Nix greatly appreciated it and what that meant for their relationship, how Magna had so easily taken her under her wing to try and protect her. They did become quite the team when they had to be, and it was nice to know that they had each other’s back and were in each other’s corner.

Yumiko and Bernie were perhaps not as close to Nix as the others, and she knew it was OK. Though the two still did their best to bond with Nix, they were more ready to protect the whole group and look out for each other and everyone. Bernie was a good man, though he sometimes forgot a sign or forgot that Nix couldn’t hear but he still tried his best whenever he and Nix were on watch together. Yumiko and Nix would bond over their bows and when they made arrows together.

And Hazel. There was Hazel, in all her glory. Nix couldn’t believe that Hazel loved her, had chosen to be with her until the inevitable happened to them both. Hazel was the closest person to Nix, and it was obvious as to why; they had been partners for roughly three years. Sometimes they would argue, but the arguments would soon be forgiven or forgotten. Nix couldn’t see a life without Hazel, and that was a terrifying thought.

Nix wouldn’t have made it through the apocalypse without them, without them behind her back, being her ears for her. She didn’t know a group of people that she could trust more than the group she was stuck with, and she didn’t mind being stuck with them at all.

‘There’s a herd nearby,’ Magna signed to Nix, a careful look in her eyes. ‘So long as we’re quiet and keep moving, we should be OK.’

Their group had started to find more and more herds. They didn’t know where the dead freaks came from. They tried to run away from the herds as often as they could, but it felt like the dead was always trying to catch up to them.

‘I’m going to go on a hunt,’ Nix told Luke one day. They were low on food, and Nix had spotted a few squirrels nearby. The squirrels wouldn’t be enough, but it would be something to fill their empty stomachs, and that was reason enough to go hunting.

‘Are you sure?’ Luke asked. ‘Take someone with you, just to be safe. There’s been more of the dead recently.’

‘I know. I’ll take Hazel.’

‘Ah, so it’s that kind of hunting trip.’ Luke signed, flashing a grin at her.

‘Fuck off.’ Nix signed, trying to ignore the amused look on Luke’s face. She turned away from him and made her way over to Hazel. Their group were held up in a field, eyes in every direction, able to see if and when a threat came their way, giving them ample amounts of time to run if need be.

‘Are we going hunting?’ Hazel asked, seeing Nix ready for her hunt; bow on her back, quiver slung around her hips. Her arm guard on her arm, the finger tab worn and tattered on her fingers. Nix nodded at the question, offering a meek smile.

‘We’re all hungry,’ Nix signed to her. ‘Better to get some shitty squirrels than to just starve.’

‘What about the recent sickos?’

Nix shrugged her shoulders. ‘We have to risk it.’

Hazel looked away before turning her gaze back onto Nix, nodding her head. Hazel got up and followed Nix out of the field and into the surrounding forests.

It was quiet between them as Nix tracked what looked like a deer, a young one. Nix hoped to find the adult mother. The group would eat well if she managed to find the damn thing. Nix knew how long hunts could take, and she hoped this one would end quicker than the others she had taken. She didn’t want to return empty handed.

The two young women continued to traverse through the forest with Nix leading the way. Hazel was behind her, forever her ears and protector. She had her back and knew Nix had hers. They worked well together, had worked well for so long.

Nix continued on, aware that the herd was moving north. They were going south, following the trail left by the young deer.

Hazel grabbed her arm. ‘Dead are nearby,’ she signed to her. Nix nodded, glancing around. Hazel had to have heard them; Nix couldn’t see any nearby.

The wind picked up, and the smell of the dead filled her nose. They had to be close. They had to be careful; any loud noise could turn the herd in their direction.

‘We’ll be careful. The tracks are fresh, we get the deer and go back to the others.’ Hazel nodded at her signs and let Nix lead the way.

The tracks from the deer got fresher and fresher. Nix followed the trail and moved around a tree, and came to a halt, backpedalling behind the tree.

There were six of the dead there, munching on two dead deer.

Fuck.

Nix had to expected it; the dead caught up to the animals as well as the living people. Sometimes they were just unlucky and didn’t reach the deer first.

Hazel grabbed at her suddenly, and Nix looked around. Four walkers were coming towards them. Nix raised her bow, an arrow nocked in place. She took out one whilst Hazel took out the other. Nix grabbed her knife and stalked towards the third, planting the blade into the side of the walker’s head. She looked over to see Hazel taking out the last one.

Then Nix felt the cold hands grab her, and she gasped, trying to get out of its grip. She’d forgotten about the other walkers that had been munching on the deer. They had to have noticed the women. Nix felt fear as she felt the cold breath of the walker on her neck, but then Hazel was there, pulling the walker off Nix. Hazel fell with the walker, but then Nix had to take out the other five walkers. She threw her knife at one, and the walker fell, the knife embedded deep in its eye. She shot two more with her bow, and they fell on the last two. Nix rushed over and stomped on their heads, quickly ending the immediate threat.

She looked around back at Hazel, who was stabbing at the walker that had grabbed at Nix. She was knelt atop it, stabbing and stabbing even though it was now dead, no longer a threat to them. Nix grabbed her knife and her two arrows, putting them away as she walked over to Hazel tentatively. She took hold of Hazel’s arm, trying to get her to stop before she hurt herself.

Hazel jerkily stopped, and looked at Nix with bright eyes, the tears streaming down her face. ‘I’m sorry,’ she signed to her.

‘What are you sorry for?’ Nix asked, fear seeping into her bones.

Hazel looked to the ground before she heaved a sigh, shoulders shaking as she pushed her hair from her neck.

‘No.’

A bloody bite wound was there in her neck, weeping blood. Nix felt her whole world collapse around her as she looked at the bite wound on Hazel’s neck. She knelt in front of her, feeling her heart break as she stared at Hazel.

‘You can’t leave me,’ she signed to her, feeling the way the tears stung at the back of her eyes, slipped down her face. ‘This wasn’t supposed to happen, it should’ve been me.’

Hazel shook her head and put her hands on either side of Nix’s face. She pulled her into a rough kiss, and Nix kissed her in return, trying not to sob as she held onto Hazel.

This couldn’t be happening.

 


 

 

The infection was taking hold of Hazel quickly. Her face looked gaunter, and Nix had had to take hold of Hazel, an arm around her to keep her upright. They kept moving, following their tracks back to the rig. Hazel was in pain, and Nix knew there was nothing she could do for her. The guilt tore her apart, and she tried not to breathe in too deep, able to smell the thick blood as it congealed on the wound.

Nix’s eyes burned with tears. She was going to lose yet another person. This loss was going to hit and hurt deeper than any other. Nix didn’t know what she was going to do without Hazel there with her. They had been together for so long, and now they were going to be apart. Hazel was going to die.

Hazel held onto Nix tightly, struggling to keep to the same pace as Nix. It was bad, affecting her worse than it had Jim back in the old Atlanta camp. Sure, Nix had seen people get bitten and become sick, but not at this rate. Nix thought it was unfair, how quickly this sickness was taking hold of Hazel, taking her away from Nix.

It felt like it had lasted a painful lifetime, but then they were coming up to the field the rig had been in.

Nix felt her heart stop beating.

The rig was gone, and in its place was the herd.

‘Turn back,’ Hazel signed to Nix, a grimace on her face. Nix readjusted her hold on Hazel before they turned around and walked away. Where were the others? Where the hell could they have gone?

Nix led Hazel away, feeling her heart hammering away against her sternum. She was having to come to the realisation that Hazel wasn’t going to be around anymore, and that hurt more than what Nix could put into words.

The two kept walking, making their way through the forest, trying not to trip up over tree roots. They barely came across any walkers, and the ones they did, Nix kicked aside, stomping on their heads. They had to keep walking. They had to find the others, just so that they could say goodbye to Hazel.

‘Stop,’ Hazel signed to Nix. “I can’t go any further. Put me down.”

Nix felt her heart break, but she did as Hazel asked. She was gentle as she put Hazel down, setting her against a tree. The sun was bright overhead, and it felt like too nice of a day considering the pain the two were going through.

‘Don’t leave me,’ Nix signed, feeling the way the tears stung at her eyes, damn near blinding her.

Hazel put her hands on either side of Nix’s face, a tired smile on her face. “I’m always going to be here,’ she promised. “Even if I’m not there.” She pulled a face, pain lining her features, and she turned and rummaged through her pockets. “Here,” she said, pulling out a ring. It was a little dirty, tattered and old. “I did want to marry you.”

‘I don’t have a ring to give you.’

“Doesn’t matter. You matter.” Hazel pulled her down and kissed her. They were both desperate and out of options. Hazel was dying. This was going to be their last few moments together. “I love you.”

‘I love you too. Does that mean we’re married now?’

Hazel laughed weakly, nodding her head, then reached out to kiss Nix’s palm. “My lovely wife. You know what to do. I can’t go any further. Can you stop me from turning?”

Nix felt her composure break as she nodded, unsheathing a knife. Hazel offered a smile, but her face was gaunt, and she looked so sick. The infection was taking her quick. Nix put her hand on Hazel’s face. She would do her best to remember what Hazel looked like, to remember her smile, and what she looked like when she laughed.

“Take care of yourself, OK? This isn’t on you; you don’t have to carry this weight.” Hazel groaned, pain in her face once more. “You’ll be OK.”

Nix could see the life leaving Hazel.

“Promise me you’ll be OK.”

Nix signed her promise. Hazel smiled. She held Nix’s hand and shut her eyes, breathing laboured. Nix watched her and saw when she stopped breathing. Nix gasped, tears falling thick and never ending. She held onto her knife carefully and turned Hazel’s head to the side and stabbed her just under her ear. Nix dropped the knife and held Hazel’s head in her hands, forehead pressed against hers. Still warm. Nix could feel the way she was shaking, the way the sobs took over her body.

Hazel was gone.

 


 

 

It had taken two days before Nix had found Luke and the others in their group. They had been south of the herd, having moved around it, taking a long route around, trying to stay nearby the first field they’d been in, in the hopes of Nix and Hazel finding them.

Nix had returned with no animals and no Hazel. Hazels’ blood was on her fingers, stained and impermanent.

‘Where’s Hazel?’ Luke asked, dread in his face.

Nix burst into tears.

Luke had rushed forwards, embracing her in a tight hug, letting her sob into his shoulder as she clung to him. It had taken a while for her to compose herself, to stop crying so hard. Luke didn’t say anything, instead holding onto her as tight as he could and let her get it out.

The others had offered their apologies to Nix, sorrow in their faces as they realised what had happened, how things had to have gone down. But they had to keep moving. Nix found a necklace and put the ring on the chain, keeping it around her neck at all times; a reminder of Hazel and what they had wanted.

Nix sat one of the horses; eyes cast downwards. She knew the others were talking about her, concerned as she went through the stages of mourning. She had known that at some point in their lives, Nix and Hazel would be separated by something like this, being bitten or being killed. She just didn’t think that it would’ve happened so soon. Nix didn’t know what to do; she felt helpless as they continued on their trek, an aimless thing. They had nowhere to go and didn’t necessarily trust anything they saw left in the world.

It was a matter of survival, and Nix didn’t know what to do now that she didn’t have Hazel anymore. She knew that she had to live, to keep Hazel’s memory alive; she had died so that Nix could live, but she was unsure of what she wanted to do, what she could do now that Hazel was gone. Her life had been turned upside down, and she was trying to deal with the new reality. Nix didn’t want this life, this thing without Hazel.

Sure, she knew that at some point, thinking about Hazel wouldn’t hurt as much, the nightmares would recede, and maybe she’d find someone new. But that felt impossible. Nix could barely think after tomorrow. She was taking it one day at a time, and each day that passed felt like a stab to the heart. What was she supposed to do now that Hazel was gone? Their group felt … broken without her. She had been a fixture in their lives, all bright and bubbly despite the horrors that she had been through. She had bounced back, and Nix didn’t have a clue as to how she had done it.

Nix didn’t know how to get through her life without Hazel, but she knew she would. She had Luke, Connie, and the others, who would do their best to support her through her loss, through the mourning.

Magna rode up beside her, and Yumiko was behind her; they were sharing a horse.

‘How are you holding up?’ Magna asked.

Nix shrugged, looking away as the tears pricked at her eyes once more. Yumiko and Magna still had each other. They had been what Nix and Hazel had wanted to be, getting older, still in love. Nix had her whole life ahead of her, however long that would be, and Hazel’s life had been cut short. She looked back to Magna and Yumiko, offering a watery smile to them.

‘I’m trying. I think that counts for something.’

“It does,” Magna said, smiling sadly. ‘You’ll be OK. It’ll take a while to be OK. Time will help you deal with losing her.’

‘I hope so.’

Nix didn’t know how it would help, but she would take all the advice Yumiko and Magna and the others would give her. The days turned into months and they continued on, and Nix learned what it was like to live without Hazel.

Chapter 9: Alexandria

Chapter Text

Nix grunted, slashing at the walker with her knives. There were too many, and their rig was going to go without her if she wasn’t careful. She glanced over her shoulder, running through arms of the sickos to jump onto the back of the rig. Luke was atop it with the others, and he hit the roof of it, and the rig started to move.

‘Bernie?’ she signed to him, clenching her jaw a little as she held onto the rig with one hand, careful not to fall off.

Luke’s eyes went wide. “Where’s Bernie?” he asked. Nix couldn’t see what the others were saying, what their responses were. She felt lead drop into her gut as she held onto the rig with both hands. She looked around and could see the walkers heavy on their trail. They’d left Bernie back there, in the mess of it all. Nix knew what that meant, and she shut her eyes, catching her breath as she started to mourn Bernie.

Nix looked around the rig, and her eyes widened. ‘Sickos!’ she signed to Luke, pointing in their direction, the direction the horses were dead set on going in in their panicked state. Luke looked in that direction, and Nix could see the way he paled at it, nervous and scared as what looked like their death came rushing towards them.

They broke through into a field, and that was when the horses tried to split from the rig. It came to a rough stop, and Nix hit her head against the rig. She winced, then dropped off the rig, catching her bow and quiver full of arrows when Connie threw it to her. She was quick to put her quiver on, and nocked an arrow in place, already moving to get rid of the walkers that were catching up to them.

Walkers came in on either side of them, and Nix knew they’d ran straight into a herd. She watched as everyone started to spread out, trying to fight back, and she moved with them, watching their backs as they moved. There were so many walkers. Magna ran ahead to try and find a way out for them. Nix kept shooting at the walkers with her bow, keeping an eye on Connie, who was using a rock to take out the walkers. Kelly was close by, whacking and stabbing walkers with a branch she had picked up. Luke was nearby, and he rushed at a walker, quick to take it out.

Nix grabbed Connie’s shoulder. ‘We have to keep moving,’ she signed, and then pulled Connie to her feet, stomping on the head of the walker that wouldn’t stay dead. The two moved together, and Nix shot at another walker, Connie behind her.

There was movement behind her, and then Yumiko had rushed a walker that had gotten too close to the two of them. She went flying to the ground with it, quick to take it out before another walker appeared, and sent her to the ground once more. Nix saw the way she winced, and then she was shooting the walker. Nix rushed over to Yumiko and pulled her to her feet, seeing the blood dripping through her hair, the wound evident on her head. The others were there, helping Nix carry Yumiko, who was talking, and Nix saw something about standing her up and needing to fight, because walking wasn’t going to do it.

They stood in a circle, protecting each other as the walkers got nearer. Luke took Nix’s place holding Yumiko so that she could nock another arrow in place, to shoot at the closest walker. They were getting close, and the exits were fast becoming non-existent.

Was this it?

Walkers fell on their right, and Nix looked around in time to see them get shot in the head. They didn’t waste time in running through the space, towards potential danger of another human. They picked Yumiko up when she fell, and they came to see a ten-year-old girl standing there, holstering a colt python. She had a sword strapped to her back, and something about her was familiar, but Nix didn’t know where she could be from. She had a familiar face, but Nix couldn’t place it. Part of her hair was down, and the other side was plaited.

Magna pointed to each of them, no doubt giving the girl their names. Nix looked back to where the walkers had been, where all their stuff was. The walkers had to follow the sound of the gunshots, follow after them. Yumiko was hurt, and they had to get to safety for her sake. The girl said something, maybe her name, before she led them to what Nix hoped was safety. They rushed after the girl, trying to keep pace with her; she was wicked fast despite how short she was.

She ran to a group of people, and Nix tensed up despite how out of breath she was. They came to a stop in front of the people as Luke told them what had happened between breaths. Nix kept looking back the way they had come, scared that the walkers would follow them. They had to be following them; Yumiko was bleeding, in pain and no doubt calling out in pain.

The four people looked at them as the girl – ‘Judith,’ Luke had signed – took a canteen from one of the people, the one with the metal arm, and gave it to Yumiko, whose head had been bandaged when they could stop for a brief few seconds. Nix had been quick to bandage Yumiko up, scared of the sheer amount of blood coming from her head.

Nix kept looking at the people, two women, one blonde woman and another with brown hair and possible Latina heritage. The other man had a rat tail and had a deer on his shoulders. The man with the metal arm had a long beard and didn’t look too impressed to see that Judith had brought friends.

Luke started talking, and Nix caught the words culinary arts. Nix nudged Kelly and pointed her to Luke, and she tried to get him to shut up. He waved her off as he babbled on.

“More mileage for the masses.” The man with long hair said, cutting Luke off. Masses? There were more of them? From the discomforted look on his face, someone had to have voiced that question.

‘Please,’ Nix signed, stepping up. ‘Help our friend, and we’ll go. She’s hurt, and we’re exhausted.’ She looked to the man with the metal arm, eyes pleading him. They had already lost so much; Nix didn’t want to lose Yumiko too.

The man eyed her up, a frown on his face before he nodded, relenting. Wait, did he understand her? Nix turned to look to Kelly. ‘I didn’t translate,’ she signed. Nix gave her a surprised look. So the man did understand sign language. She wondered how he went about it with his metal arm.

She looked back the way they had come, and she spotted the dead. ‘Sickos,’ she signed to Kelly. Connie was by her side, signing the same thing. Nix nocked an arrow, drew it back, aimed and shot it before the others they met could move past them.

The man with long hair moved first, followed by the blonde woman. They were quick to get rid of the rest of the walkers. The man with the metal arm gestured and then they were moving. Nix helped Magna take Yumiko in the direction Judith and the other woman led them. Nix’s chest hurt, she needed to breathe, but that could wait for the time being. She had more pressing things to do.

They got to a wagon of sorts, and they helped Yumiko into the wagon, careful of her headwound. Yumiko was barely conscious. They waited for the others to come before they set off. Nix felt tense, even more so when they had to hand over their weapons. They had bags put over their heads so that they didn’t know the way to the community. Nix felt like her back was going to give out from the tension in it, but she tried to keep herself calm.

The bag over her head smelled of wheat, so it had to be a good place that could bake bread on a regular basis for bags to smell of it. She tried to keep her geography on course, but it was hard to do so with the bag over her head, and she soon lost her sense of direction. After several long minutes, maybe half an hour or an hour, she couldn’t tell, the wagon came to a stop.

Nix flinched when someone grabbed hold of her, and then she was being pulled out of the wagon. She ignored how uncomfortable it made her feel, a stranger touching her without her consent, without her sight. Her sight was the most important thing about her.

They were pulled forwards, and Nix could faintly see some walls before she was pulled to a stop, the bag coming off from over her head. She squinted in the sunlight, trying to adjust her eyes.

WELCOME TO ALEXANDRIA

It didn’t feel like a welcome. The paint was faded on the sign, flaking and old. Nix wondered when the welcome ran dry.

The gates of Alexandria opened, and she looked to the others.

‘We see what we see,’ she signed, and Connie nodded her agreement.

‘Can’t be worse than Jones Springs,’ Kelly signed, and Nix felt a shiver run down her, the memories distasteful in her mouth.

‘Coalport and Jones Springs were shit.’ Nix signed, looking at her group. ‘This might not be shit.’

Judith said something as she walked over to Magna, holding out her hand.

‘She says we’ll be safe here. She promised.’ Kelly translated for Connie and Nix, who shared a look before they followed Magna and Judith into the community.

Nix looked around at the walls of Alexandria. It looked promising. But then again, Coalport had been promising. Jones Springs had been promising. Maybe this is different, she thought to herself, looking over at Connie. Connie returned her gaze and nodded, a small smile on her face. Trust Connie to try and give her some sort of hope for this place. She wondered how much they’d had to fight to keep it standing. They had to have lost so much to keep the place alive, to have what they had.

The adults and Judith led them further into the community.

Nix looked to Connie and Kelly. ‘Wow,’ she signed to them, and she felt completely awed by what she saw. Jones Springs and Coalport could never achieve something like this. They had never gotten something like Alexandria.

People surrounded them, no doubt wary of their new faces and the potential they could bring. Something told Nix that they hadn’t seen new people in a long time. She wondered how long but didn’t dare try and sign the question. These people new sign language, and she wanted to know why. They moved further into Alexandria, and Nix was amazed, seeing the windmill, community house, food, and buildings. She hadn’t seen anything quite like it, and she didn’t want to leave. They’d all been given a small taste of Alexandria, and Nix knew that they’d all want more.

A man took Yumiko away, seeing to her headwound as more people came to look at them, judge them. Another man pushed Magna away from Yumiko, not allowing her to go with them. A woman of colour appeared through the gates before they shut, and Nix could see the displeasure in her face when she saw them. Nix looked to Kelly for translations, knowing the unfamiliar movements of her mouth would leave Nix clueless. The woman walked around them, looking them up and down like she was assessing them. Was she the head of their security?

The woman looked at Nix before she patted her down, only to turn up empty handed. Nix raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. ‘Don’t touch me without my consent.’ The woman raised an eyebrow at her, and the others came to Nix’s rescue, telling her that Nix and Connie were both deaf.

‘I know sign. A friend taught me.’

‘It wasn’t my dad by any chance?’ Nix asked, but then the woman looked away from her and turned to Magna and patted her down, coming up empty handed too.

The woman asked questions, and Kelly started to translate. ‘She wants to know why we’re here. Aaron said it was his call. She says it’s not his call to make.’ Nix and Kelly shared a look, both annoyed.

“I decided.” Judith said, telling the woman that they needed help. They continued to talk, and Nix looked around not sure what else to do.

‘They’re going to vote tomorrow.’ Kelly told them, and Nix scoffed, shaking her head as she looked back around, ready to be sent off to where she had to be.

Before any of them could do anything, the people around them stopped walking, frozen in their spots. A man was approaching them, and he was using a cane and he had a limp, grey hair and greying stubble on his jaw. There was a younger man beside him, wearing a hat Nix recognised, but couldn’t place. The younger man had long hair and glasses, with one side of them blacked out. She wondered why only one of the lenses were blacked out.

They got close enough, and Nix felt her jaw drop slightly when she realised who they were.

‘Rick? Carl?’ she signed, fingerspelling their names, which caught their attention, and they looked at her.

They stopped in their tracks, gaping at Nix. It seemed that they’d recognised her too. Rick’s jaw hung open as he stared at her, and Carl’s face had gone sheet white. Nix didn’t know what to do. Was she hallucinating? Was this some twisted dream of hers? Oh god, they were alive.

Rick composed himself first, hobbling on his cane towards her, pulling her into a hug. She went willingly, wondering just how the hell this had happened. She looked over Rick’s shoulder to Carl, who was starting to realise she wasn’t an hallucination, that she was very much real. The people around them were staring, probably wondering what Rick was doing, hugging a stranger.

When Rick pulled away from her, Carl was quick to take up that space, holding onto her tightly. She clung onto Carl, and the two of them swayed a little. Her eyes pricked with tears, and she could see the shock in Rick’s face, the hand that went over his stubbled jaw as he looked at Nix like he was seeing a ghost. It took a long moment before she pulled away from Carl, who kept his arms around her loosely, the shock evident in his face.

‘How are you here?’ Rick asked her, unable to take his eyes away from her when she looked to him. She knew that she had to have changed a lot in the long, long years since she had last seen him, but so had he. God, he’d aged, and the last time they had been together, aging had felt like a damn pipe dream.

‘My friends,’ she signed around Carl, then gestured to the others behind her. Carl pulled away from her fully so that she could sign. ‘I was alone at first, but then I met Luke, and we met the others later on. I wouldn’t be here without them.’

Rick turned to look at Nix’s friends, and she could see the way his eyes were shining bright with tears. “Thank you,” he said, signing along so Nix could understand. He was rusty, but he was doing well despite it. “Nix had been in my group at the start. For a long time, we thought she had died at the farm. Thank you for keeping her alive.”

Luke smiled a little. “She’s saved us more than enough times.”

Carl bumped his arm against hers, and she looked at him a smile on her face and one on his. ‘I’m glad you’re here. It’s been so long.’

‘Too long. What happened to you?’ she asked, gesturing to his face. She couldn’t see what he was hiding with the blacked-out lens, but she knew it couldn’t be something good.

He shrugged a little. ‘I’ll tell you later.’ He glanced to the others, and Nix didn’t push him further on the topic. Rick was talking to the woman who hadn’t been impressed with Nix and her group’s appearance. ‘That’s Michonne. She’s head of security. We don’t usually have people come to Alexandria anymore.’

‘They said they’re going to vote. What does that mean?’

‘Whether or not you’re allowed here,’ Carl stopped, and seemed to realise something. ‘Your dad’s alive.’

‘What?’ Nix asked, and she looked to the others who had caught the signs. She turned her attention back onto Carl. ‘What do you mean my dad’s alive?’

‘He survived the farm, he’s still alive, he’s out there in his own place. He was never the same after we thought you’d died.’

Nix felt her eyes start to burn. Oh, god, her father was still alive. They’d been separated this whole time, and yet they’d somehow found Rick and Carl once more.

‘Where is he?’ Nix asked as chaos erupted.

People wanted to know who her father was, why she hadn’t been with Rick and Carl for so long, and how the hell she’d ended up there.

‘Come with me,’ Rick signed to her. ‘Your friends will be safe.’

Nix looked back to them and saw their expressions. Luke was encouraging, having put the names to faces, knowing who was who and what they had meant to Nix from so long ago. Connie and Kelly looked uncertain, but they knew Nix trusted Rick and Carl, so they seemed to favour Luke’s sentiment.

Magna looked like she didn’t trust this whole thing.

‘OK.’

 


 

 

Rick was staring at her in awe. He seemed to have yet get over the fact that she was real and was right there in front of him. Carl had a similar expression on his face.

‘Where is my dad?’ Nix signed to Rick, wanting to get the basic information down. If she found out where he was, then if things went south in Alexandria, she and her group could find Daryl.

‘He’s out there. He used to live here, but now he has his own place.’

Nix frowned at that. ‘And you let him go? After being with him all this time?’ She looked between the two, unimpressed. ‘Is he safe?’ Rick nodded, and that knowledge relieved her a little. ‘What about everyone else?’

The two Grimes men shared a look before Carl picked up a pen, writing in the notebook on the table between them.

My mom gave birth to Judith. She died
giving birth to her. Shane tried to kill my
dad so he killed him. Andrea was bitten by a
walker when a bad man kidnapped her. T-
Dog died saving Carol, who is alive. Sophia
is alive too, but she lives in a different
community. Hershel died by the same man
who killed Andrea. Beth died when we were
all separated. Maggie is still alive. The others
from the farm died on the farm. We had
other people join us, but they died along the
way too.

What about Merle?

The man, the Governor, who killed Andrea
and Hershel, he killed him. Daryl put him
down when he found him as a walker.

Nix nodded, reading over the words in the notebook several times as she fiddled with her necklace, trying to get the information to stick. The group had been broken, had lost so many lives. Nix could relate, knowing all the people they had lost. Her heart tightened when she thought back to Hazel. She looked back up at the two, nodding a little because she wasn’t sure what else to do with the information.

She felt odd. They hadn’t been together in years, and now they were, with most of their old group dead or spread out. Nix wanted everyone to still be there, alive and well.

Can I ask what happened to your face?

Carl read over the note, and she saw the way he clenched his jaw, nodding before he started writing in the notebook.

When we first got here, we found out a herd
was close by. It came and tore through the
walls. We walked among them, covered in
guts. We were with another family, but the
boy the same age as me had to watch his
younger brother and mom get eaten by the
dead. He tried to shoot my dad, but
Michonne stabbed him. He shot the gun and
hit me instead. I only have one eye now.

‘You lived after being shot in the face? That’s crazy,’ Nix signed, truly amazed that Carl had survived getting an eyeball blasted out of his head. She didn’t understand how he didn’t die from the shock and pain his body must have gone through.

‘It’s crazy that you’re here.’ Carl countered, and Nix could see the way he was becoming familiar with sign again, the gestures becoming more natural as he did them.

God, Nix still couldn’t believe they were there in front of her. They’d both aged, and Nix was surprised at how long Carl’s hair had gotten, the way he had it tied up on the top of his head. He had definitely grown up from the little boy she could remember. She missed him and who he used to be to her. She hoped they could rekindle that friendship and have something like they used to.

‘Until your friend recovers, you and your group are welcome to stay here,’ Rick signed, face lined with concentration as he tried to communicate with Nix. ‘The council will decide tomorrow. I hope it goes well for you.’

‘Thank you, Rick.’

 


 

 

The man who was dressed like a priest was talking. He had the centre seat of the council table. Nix kept her hands behind her back, holding onto her wrist as she looked at the people sitting before her. Rick and Carl were sat behind them in the front row, observing from another angle. So, they were going to judge and condemn them? Nix was standing between Luke and Magna, the two people who were most protective of her, even after all this time.

It was difficult trying to keep track of what the people were saying, unfamiliar with how they moved their mouths, the pace of their speech.

‘What makes you think we have a leader?’ Nix was grateful for Magna signing so that Nix and Connie could keep up with one part of the conversation.

The man spoke again, and then Luke was signing as he spoke. ‘We didn’t meet before. Magna and Yumiko were together at first. Nix found me dying in the second winter of this world, and then we found Connie and Kelly who’re sisters. And then Hazel and Bernie. Shit. I’m sorry. Bernie was the one that we lost yesterday. There were others, of course. But like Bernie, they just …’

Nix looked to the side, hand going to her face to wipe at it. She missed Bernie. She missed Hazel.

‘I was a music teacher,’ Luke signed, then shot Nix a smile. It was one of the first sentences he had learned in sign. They were asked on who they used to be.

‘I was in middle school.’ Nix shrugged her shoulders, not sure what else to tell them. Luke verbalised what she had signed.

‘I waited tables at a truck stop.’

Connie signed her answer, that she was a journalist, and Kelly translated for them, assuming they didn’t know sign because they left Connie and Nix in the dark on their side of the conversation. Kelly told them how Connie was good at her job, putting bad people behind bars.

‘Connie kicks ass!’ Nix signed, and their group shared a brief laugh before Kelly told them she was in high school, stressing about stupid shit that felt like the end of the world.

“Who are you now?”

‘Nix Dixon. I always have been and always will be.’

The others gave their answers. Nix knew their answers were accurate to who they were.

“What did you do to survive?”

Nix shrugged her shoulders. ‘What we all had to do. I wanted to help others survive and they helped me survive.’

Luke gave his answer. ‘I met Nix. We were together for a long time before we met these lovely women. Nix had been on her own for a year, at the start after the farm. She gave me a reason to live.’

‘You gave me a reason too,’

Michonne interjected. “Rick told me about the farm. What happened?” she asked, directing the question to Nix, who managed to read off her lips.

‘Walkers overran the place. When I tried to escape, a few walkers attacked me and the last one fell on me. I guess they thought I’d died. I got free and ran to the highway where Sophia and I had had to run from walkers. No-one was there. It had taken hours for me to get there so I assumed everyone had gone; the supplies that had been hidden there were gone. I was on my own for a year until I saved Luke from dying in the streets at winter.’

The council stared at her, and she shrugged, uncomfortable. Luke had been translating for her, a proud look in his face that he had whenever she admitted the things she had gone through, had come out on top of.

“Because of Nix, we all met each other,” Magna said. “Maybe we would have met in different ways, but we met because of her. She brought us together in a way none of us would have believed.”

The council went to vote, but Michonne had a question. She spoke to them, and Nix couldn’t quite read what she was saying. Beside Nix, Magna shuffled on her feet. Michonne stood in front of Magna, and told her to hold out her left hand, where Magna had a prison tattoo. Michonne explained the tattoo, and then told Magna to put the knife on the table.

Nix shook her head, clenching her jaw as she looked away from Magna, who had hidden a knife away in her belt.

‘You’re awful,’ Nix signed to Michonne. ‘How can my dad stand you?’

Michonne looked at her, and it was obvious she didn’t understand the signs Nix sent her way; how could she have claimed earlier that she had been taught sign language if she didn’t understand what Nix was signing to her? Nix gave her the middle finger, which was a universal sign.

Nix wasn’t sure if she liked Michonne or not.

 


 

 

They were in the infirmary, hovering around Yumiko, who was resting. Her bandages had been changed, and now she just had to rest. There were a few men acting as security guards, making sure that their group didn’t do anything bad to the doctor or any of the patients in the infirmary.

‘She could be up on her feet by tomorrow,’ Kelly signed to Nix, and Nix glanced back to Yumiko.

‘Should she be on her feet tomorrow? She looks … out of it.’

Kelly shrugged, then pointed to the doctor. ‘He was brought in by Carl before the security rules were tightened. They won’t say why the rules are stricter.’

‘Must be bad if it’s like a taboo,’ Nix signed to her. ‘Don’t worry, now that we know my dad is out there, we can find him. Set up our own place if we have to or find another one.’

Nix didn’t really know what to do. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place and Nix wished they could do something about it. They were going to have to deal with Magna later, deal with the council’s vote when it came. Nix figured they already knew what the result was going to be, and she wasn’t excited for when it became a reality. The guard, DJ, soon told them to return to their house that they’d been staying in, and they had to leave Yumiko in the infirmary. Nix watched as Magna refused to leave her side until Nix went over to her, a hand placed on her shoulder before she gently pulled her along.

“That Michonne set me up,” Magna said, and Nix knew she had a point. But what could they do about it now?

They were in the house, and the sun had set, and Magna was angry. She had been holding that anger in for a while, and now she was left fit to burst from it.

‘You could’ve ditched the damn knife! Did you think the girl was going to hurt us?’ Connie signed to Magna, who had her back to Connie.

‘You screwed up, Magna,’

“We didn’t know how things were gonna play out,” she said, and Nix rolled her eyes. “Hey, this could’ve been like Jones Springs,” she said, pointing a finger to Nix, who felt that like a stab to the heart. “I wanted us to have options.”

‘You limited those options with your knife. Hand it over.’ Nix held out her hand, raising an eyebrow at Magna expectantly.

“Yumiko’s necklace, come on. Yeah, we noticed, hand it over.” Luke said when Magna played dumb. She pulled it off from around her neck and made to hand it over before she retracted her hand.

“We can’t just go back out there,” she said, looking around at them. ‘Without our horses, our rig, supplies, how long do we last?’

‘Long enough. My dad is out there, and Rick could vouch for me. I stay if you guys stay.’ Nix signed, looking at Magna with impeaching eyes. ‘Come on, don’t be like this,’

‘You only act like this because Rick and Carl are from the start of this shit. If you didn’t know them, you’d be acting just like me.’

‘I would, but I know Rick and Carl. We can figure this out.’

‘Ride or die, same as always,’ Luke signed from his spot beside Nix, and she nodded, gesturing to him.

‘That worked out great for Bernie, right?’ Nix looked away at Magna’s signs, and Connie got to her feet and pulled Magna around by her shoulder.

‘Stop. Don’t be an asshole.’

“If Bernie could see this place, see what life we could live, you know he wanted us to have it, right?”

‘We don’t have a choice,’ Luke told her.

“We fight, as always. We fight.”

Connie shook her head. ‘No. You leave that woman alone.’ She was firm in her signs, telling Magna what to do. She was going to go off the deep end if she wasn’t careful. ‘They got to this point for a reason. They had their own Coalport or Jones Springs, whatever. So we get Miko and get out. If that’s our fate, so be it.’ Nix agreed with Connie, who turned to her sister. ‘Are you going to translate?’ she signed after Magna had turned away from them.

Kelly shrugged. ‘You don’t think we should at least try and convince Michonne? We can’t just hope Rick’s word on Nix will hold out for us. They could try and separate us, or just kick us out.’

‘Oh, Jesus, don’t you start too with the lost causes.’ Connie signed, annoyance lining her face.

Nix stepped up, looking between them all, pointing at them so they’d look at her. ‘I won’t leave you guys. If I have to choose between you guys and my dad, it’s you. I don’t care about this place if it’s not got you idiots in it.’ She looked at them all, and they nodded.

“We need this. Everything Miko talks about.”

Nix and Connie both signed at her to stop. Luke got up from his spot on the couch. “Listen to them, OK? Connie’s right. They got little kids here. You wanna fight debate style? Cool. Or you wanna fight-fight? I say let’s save it for somebody who deserves it, right?” Luke said, signing along as best he could for Nix and Connie to understand him. “Yes? I get a yes vote on that?”

Nix and Connie put their hands up, as did Luke. They were already outvoted the other two if Kelly didn’t put her hand up.

‘Outvoted, sorry,’ Nix signed to Magna, giving her a pointed look. ‘Please?’ she asked, holding out her hand. Magna handed over the necklace, and she sat back down, pocketing the knife.

Nix ended up dozing off, and leaned against Luke, who put an arm around her, keeping her safe beside him.

Chapter 10: Journey to the Hilltop

Chapter Text

They were to leave Alexandria. Michonne and her council had given a vote, and they were to leave Alexandria, presumably to fend for themselves. Yumiko joked about hitting her head harder next time, when Rick came up to them and told them they had a different place for them to stay. Nix gave him a confused look, and he turned his attention to Carl, who translated for him.

‘We’re taking you to Hilltop. It’s a better place, will suit you all better, and Daryl frequents Hilltop more than Alexandria. We’re going to personally escort you to Hilltop and ask the leader to take you in.

Nix nodded at his signs, and then they were hopping into the wagons so that they could leave the community. Carl joined them and sat with Nix and her group. He looked a little bit nervous to be there with them, but when he looked to Nix, he relaxed, glad to have her back with them. Yumiko was sat with the guard at the front of the wagon, leading the horses. Everyone else was cramped into the back, though Rick and one of the doctors, Siddiq, were on their own horses. Michonne had pulled Rick aside, talking to him, eyeing up the group like they would try and kill him.

‘I still can’t believe you’re alive. We thought you’d been dead for years.’

‘You have very little faith in me.’

Carl shrugged his shoulders. ‘You were young, I never would have survived it, and we didn’t know you did. I’m still glad you’re here. Daryl will be pleased to see you.’

‘Will he?’ she asked, raising her eyebrows at him. She had changed from the little girl she used to be, much like how Carl had changed from the little boy he had been; her father had to have changed. What made Carl think that they’d get along after all these years of separation? They had each undergone hardships and losses, and Nix didn’t know how well she and her father would get along now that they could finally see each other again after all these years. She had gone nearly half her life without him there. What if they didn’t get along anymore?

‘He always loved you. It was hard for him to talk about you after we thought you’d died. He’s held the memory of you close to his chest, and has done what he’s done in your memory, so that you’d be proud of him.’

‘What if he’s not proud of me?’

Carl scoffed, shaking his head at her. ‘I’m proud of you, and we were just friends. Daryl will be so proud that words won’t be able to explain it. Have a little faith.’

It was Nix’s turn to scoff, but she nodded, relenting her side of the argument despite how scared she was now that she could finally see her father again. She hoped he’d still love her, after all this time apart.

The others were talking about something, and Nix hadn’t been keeping track of the conversation. Carl mentioned something about their rig, and Nix’s stomach tied itself up in knots as she thought about how it must’ve ended up after the herd had attacked them. She hoped her stuff was still intact. She had lost a photo there, and she wanted to get it back.

The man Yumiko was sat beside seemed to judge them, not believing that their story about their rig or the attack would check out. Nix didn’t like him much, so didn’t care for his opinion.

Nix turned back to her group. ‘Rick still has my knives,’ Magna signed, an annoyed look on her face from where she was moping in the back of the wagon. Nix kicked her shin. Rick had her knives for his own group’s protection. Nix understood; their group of six was a big threat to the four taking them to the Hilltop, and Nix had to understand that they were unfamiliar with each other, and Nix was only just reacquainting herself with Carl and Rick once more.

‘Behave,’ she signed to Magna. ‘They’re bringing us someplace safe. Let’s take the win.’

Connie nodded her agreement, gesturing to Nix. ‘Listen to her; she’s being smart and rational, don’t let your defensiveness get in the way of what we could have.’

‘But we’re safe now,’ Magna signed. ‘What do I always say about having options, huh?’ she asked, and Nix shared a look with Connie, neither of them impressed with Magna’s actions. They understood it, but they also knew when they had a good thing and when to keep quiet.

‘Us not being defenseless out in the open because you gave them a reason not to trust us, I choose that option,’ Luke signed, finishing it off with a wink. ‘Except, oh wait –’

‘Cut it out!’ Nix signed, shaking her head at them. ‘You’re acting like children. It’s stupid.’

Kelly nodded, looking to Nix and Connie. ‘When we find our rig, we’ll get our shit and go from there.’

‘I want to see my dad. Make sure he’s alive.’ Nix cut in. ‘I don’t want us to ruin a good thing.’

‘You’re so caught up on the hope your dad’s alive, you’re blinded by the possibility when these people could be sending us to our deaths.’

‘Fuck you.’ Nix turned away from Kelly, turning her attention onto the trees. She watched as the scenery passed, trying to memorise the things she saw in case things turned south and they’d need to retrace their steps.

 


 

 

They got to the rig. The sickos had torn the thing to shit. Nix grimaced as it came into view. She got up and out of the wagon, feeling torn as she went to try and find the rest of her stuff. Their rig was completely gone, beyond salvage.

Nix got closer to the rig and stomped on the walkers heads with Connie, taking them out quickly. She pressed her lips together as she looked around at the mess, of everything strewn out and broken. She wiped at her face and sifted through the stuff, finding some of the things she was fond of; a photo of her and Hazel, her knives that she handed over to Carl, spotting him close by. She got back to her feet and looked around at the others, walking towards them with a frown on her face.

‘Rick’s not coming with us,’ Kelly signed to her and Connie, and they frowned at each other, confused by Rick’s actions. Why would he not go to Hilltop? ‘No weapons.’

‘Why not?’ Nix and Connie asked together.

Nix watched as Rick talked about trust. “So we’re supposed to trust him if he doesn’t trust us?” Magna asked.

‘Do we have a choice?’

‘Trust is a two-way street,’ Nix signed, then shrugged her shoulders.

‘We made it this long, I say we take our chances out there,’ Kelly signed, talking to the others. Luke signed something to them about the second one. Nix didn’t know what he meant. It was annoying when the hearing spoke and kept Nix out of parts of the conversation, but she had long since gotten used to that. The hearing, the abled, were often the most ignorant bunch.

‘Luke’s right. They wouldn’t put us back together,’ Yumiko signed, continuing talking, “just to pull us apart again.”

It was awful, having to see the group get torn apart, trying to deal with the fact they were all spiralling off in different directions and opinions on what would be good for them. Nix knew what she would do, and she was torn knowing that Magna and Kelly wouldn’t want to go the same route she would. It would tear them apart if they all separated.

‘We’re going to try and find shelter for the night.’ Luke told her, and she was glad that he was trying to keep her in the loop of things. Nix looked down at the photo in her hands, feeling the heartbreak as she looked at the permanent smile on Hazel’s face. That was how she wanted to remember her, not the way she had been in her final moments.

Nix felt her heart break before she tucked the photo away.

 


 

 

Nix woke up beside Connie. There had been a mix up last night, which had involved Luke holding the Stradivarius that Rick had broken, thinking that Luke had been holding a weapon. Nix had woken up to see them talking, waxing poetic about music and the beauty of it after finding Luke holding the broken violin. Nix had gone back to sleep, needing the rest more than she had expected.

But now the sun was up, and they were going to go to Hilltop.

Nix got ready with the others, then paused, a hand on the ground as she sensed something. She looked to Connie, who had sensed the same thing; a herd of walkers were on their way to them. They got up and followed the others out when Magna and Yumiko noticed the way Nix and Connie were checking for the herd.

They went out and saw the large herd coming their way. Nix wanted her damn weapons back. They followed the group, and Nix got ready to try and improvise.

She grabbed half of a brick and used it to her benefit, slamming it into the walkers heads. She followed Yumiko to DJ, who gave her the barebow and her quiver, alongside her knives. They climbed into the trunk of a truck, shooting at walkers, using the high point to their advantage. Nix turned her attention on the horses and shot at walkers getting close to the animals. Nix kept close to Yumiko and shot an arrow at a walker by one of the ancient stalls, and it collided with the stall, which collapsed onto several other walkers. They jumped down from the trunk of the truck they were in, and Nix noticed Bernie.

He had been bitten, his insides hanging out from where he had been torn apart. He was a walker. Nix’s heart broke as she watched him amble on.

Rick had noticed, but Nix was already moving. She circled the walker and stabbed it in the back of the head, eyes stinging with tears. That had been Bernie. She looked up to see Magna tearing up, Yumiko beside her looking just as distraught.

‘We have to move,’ Nix signed to them, knowing they couldn’t do anything more for Bernie; his time as a walker had been a short one, and Nix wished she could’ve made sure he’d never become one. They rushed back to the wagon, leaving Bernie where he was laid. They had to leave him.

The horses moved efficiently with them in the wagon, and Nix couldn’t help but look back to where they’d left Bernie. Their group was quiet in the wagon, trying to understand the loss they’d endured. Nix kept her eyes on the treeline for walkers or more. She held onto the limb of her bow, feeling the way her knives rested against her legs, the nocks on her arrows digging into her ribs. She didn’t mind it; it reminded her that she was alive.

They came to a stop, and Nix frowned at Rick and Siddiq before she saw people coming to them on horses. The people on the horses ran around them after talking with Rick, probably going to Alexandria to let them know whatever information they’d passed on to Rick. Nix looked back to the treeline, then she frowned, seeing some kind of movement. She held her hand up when the wagon jerked, and she tried to spot it again. Connie came over to her side, frowning as she too tried to see it.

They couldn’t spot it again, so dismissed it. Nix didn’t trust it; someone could be hiding behind the trees, scouting them. The horses continued on, and they resumed their trek to Hilltop.

Nix looked at Hilltop as it came into view. There were rows of crops outside of the walls. It looked nice, giving a sense of the past, something about it screaming Medieval times. ‘You see this?’ Luke asked, and Nix nodded, seeing the potential Hilltop had. She had to admit that she liked Hilltop’s appearance better than Alexandria’s in a way.

‘I see it, but I ain’t getting excited,’ Connie signed, and Nix agreed. They could be outright rejected from Hilltop if things didn’t go well with Rick and Hilltop’s leader.

‘Don’t,’ Magna signed.

‘Let me know if they seem suspicious of us,’ Nix signed.

‘I’ll let you two know when it’s safe,’ Kelly signed to them. They were all trying to be discreet with their signs, nervous that the others would catch them talking.

They got to the gates of Hilltop, and Nix looked up to see an archer there, an arrow nocked in her bow, causal in her hands. Nix knew that if the roles were reversed, it would be her up there ready to shoot an arrow at people who they distrusted the looks of. Rick and the woman spoke, and Nix didn’t know what they were talking about, but then the others were dropping their weapons, and Nix shook her head, annoyed, before she dropped hers too. She’d just got them back. Once the weapons had been put away, the gates had been opened.

Nix climbed out of the wagon, helping Connie out of it before they entered Hilltop. It looked nice, and Nix felt excited, if a little bit nervous on what they were doing. Appearances alone, they were nothing like Coalport and Jones Springs. Nix shuddered as the memories flashed in her head, of Silas and Erika, the downfall of each community.

Hazel.

She watched as Rick hobbled towards a woman with black hair, a younger woman with blonde hair beside her on her right and a brown haired girl on her left, a man with dark blond hair on her left. The blonde woman locked her eyes onto Nix, and her jaw dropped.

‘Sophia?’ she signed.

Sophia nodded, and then the two walked towards each other, and then they were hugging. Nix held onto her tightly. Nix hid her face in Sophia’s neck, breathing her in. She was thankful that Sophia was there, safe and alive even after all this time. Carl hadn’t lied to her about Sophia.

Sophia’s grip on her was hard, but Nix didn’t care. She returned the hug with vigour, tears burning at her eyes. Nix could scarcely believe that her friend was there, clinging onto her for dear life. Nix’ eyes stung from tears, and her throat felt thick, but she held onto Sophia with everything she had, allowing herself to believe it was all real. Eventually, the two pulled away from each other, looking into the other’s face like they couldn’t believe they were there together again.

‘Where’s my dad?’

“He left not too long ago,” Sophia said clearly, her hands firmly on Nix’s upper arms, like she couldn’t stand the idea of letting her go. “He’s gone with a few of our men, but he’s going to come back. He’s going to be here with you again.” Sophia grinned at her, and Nix laughed, then hugged her friend once more. They swayed with the movement of the hug, and Nix could feel the large smile painting its way across her face. She’d missed Sophia so much.

Nix was grateful for the few who had survived from their original group.

They pulled away from each other once more, twin smiles on their faces. Luke gave Nix a look, eyebrow raised at her pointedly. She gave him the middle finger in return before she introduced Sophia to Luke. Luke smiled at her, saying something to Sophia as the dark haired woman looked at their group. The other two who had been beside her kept glancing over at Sophia and Nix, who stood close to each other.

‘That’s Tara,’ Sophia signed. ‘That’s Enid, my … girlfriend. The man is Alden.’ Sophia frowned, not sure of how to translate the conversation going on between Tara and Rick.

“My sister is deaf; I translate for Nix and her.” Kelly shot Nix a smile, and she returned it.

“Thank you. And thank you for … being there for Nix. I never thought I’d see her again.”

Kelly nodded, brushing it off as Nix noticed the good-natured embarrassment from her before she started to translate to her and Connie what was going on.

‘One of Rick’s people is missing, Eugene. Daryl, a man named Jesus and Aaron are out there looking for Eugene. Rick wants to go after them, but Tara says they’re probably on their way back already. Rick can have his weapons back when he leaves tomorrow.’

‘I could go out there and pick up my dad’s trail. It’s not that hard.’ Nix offered and saw the look on Kelly’s face at that.

‘Nix.’ Connie signed, looking rather parental. ‘Are you sure you want to do that?’

‘I take some people with me, we find them, have a big reunion. Besides, Eugene could be hurt and more people to help him get back means it’s safer.’ Nix signed, then looked back to Tara, who was talking, before Kelly started to sign once more.

‘We have to stay until Jesus gets back. If we want to stay, we can stay but she has to talk to him, and we have to earn our keep.’

Nix and Connie walked a little closer, signing thank you to Tara. Kelly told them what the sign meant. “Nix is also willing to go track your men down. Daryl is her father, and they’ve not seen each other for years, not since the start. She can track like a motherfucker, could probably find him before dark.”

Tara eyed her up, then gestured to her own ears.

‘Just because I’m deaf, it doesn’t mean I can’t track. Daryl and Merle taught me how, and I’ve been the resident hunter in our group since we all met. I can handle finding my dad and your men.’ Nix signed, shrugging a shoulder as Kelly translated so that Tara and the others understood.

Tara nodded her head, and then they started to follow her and the others. Sophia planted herself by Nix’s side, talking a mile an hour.

‘She’s basically saying she’s happy to see you again.’

‘It’s great to see you too. Help me unpack our stuff before I go out for my dad?’

Sophia was more than ready to help them unpack. They took their stuff off the wagon, helping Connie as Yumiko and Magna appeared. Magna was talking about the Jesus fellow, suggesting Hilltop was a cult.

‘I’m pretty sure it’s just a nickname,’ Nix signed, shaking her head at Magna, a smile on her face. They looked around and saw Rick and Siddiq talking to a woman Nix recognised. Sophia grabbed Nix’s arm and pulled her forwards.

“Mom, it’s Nix. Where – fuck, where’s Henry? I wanna show him my bestie’s back.”

‘Nix?’ Carol signed; the shock evident in her face as she looked at her.

Nix nodded, a brief smile on her face before she let Carol hug her. It seemed that she’d see everyone in their old group before her own father. Carol asked who the others were.

‘My friends. Connie, this is Carol, Sophia’s mom.’

Connie nodded, waving her hello to her.

‘Nice to meet you,’ Carol signed. “Sorry, I’m a little rusty on sign.”

They talked a little more before Yumiko told them they were going to figure out where they were going to stay. Nix and Connie waved bye to Carol, but Sophia stayed by her side. Nix didn’t blame her; she didn’t want Sophia to move away from her either.

 


 

 

Nix grabbed her backpack, stashing some food and medicine into it. People could be hurt, and Nix knew enough First Aid to do some help.

‘Are you serious?’ Connie asked. Nix looked at her, nodding her head as she slung the backpack onto her back.

‘If my dad is out there, I want to find him. Even if he’s coming back. I can’t sit around and wait.’

Connie pressed her lips together before she nodded her understanding. ‘Take someone with you.’

‘I will. I’m going to talk to Tara first.’ She looked around and grabbed her notepad and pen. She waved the items at Connie, who smiled before letting her go.

Nix found Tara outside of the building, with the others who were getting meals. Sophia perked up when she saw her. The woman and man from earlier, Enid and Alden, were sat beside them, as was Carl, and looked at Nix curiously as she held out the notepad to the page she’d written on.

I’m going to find Daryl and your men. I
want to take my weapons and maybe some
other people. I take it I need your permission?

“Uh,”

“Nix can lip read, right?” Sophia asked, and Nix nodded. Well, she could on a good day when she knew how the person’s mouth moved around the words.

“Well. I can’t stop you from going out, but I do think you should take some people – someone you trust and someone who can translate for you.” Tara said.

Sophia and Carl. They’re old friends &
I know how to read their lips well enough.

“Then I don’t see what’s stopping you.” Tara said, looking to the two. They nodded and got up from their seats. Nix looked at Tara and thanked her before Sophia led her to get her weapons.

The three took some supplies and their weapons – Carl using a gun and some knives while Sophia opted for a machete and some Bowie knives – and then they were off. She had her notepad and pen tucked into her back pocket for if she needed to write down what she needed to get across to them. They were taking two horses; Sophia and Nix would share one, and Carl had the other. It would be a little cramped sharing a horse, but there could be worse ways to go tracking a group of people.

“I’d say it’s just like the old days, but it’s nothing like the old days,” Sophia said, and Nix laughed, before helping Sophia onto the horse, leading them out of Hilltop.

Carl stopped, and looked around, and the two women followed his gaze. Rick was hobbling towards them, saying something, and then Carl nodded.

‘We need to be quick. People use the skin to … hide with the dead. Daryl doesn’t know.’

‘Come on.’ Nix and the two of them got their horses to sprint away, and she followed the trail Sophia had told her to look out for.

 


 

 

The sun had started to set, and it made it harder to track the small group of men.

Nix followed the track as her eyes adjusted to the dark. Three men’s prints and a dog’s. They were pretty easy to track. It didn’t help that a herd had been following them. But it made it easier for Nix to follow her father’s tracks; follow the herd, follow the humans.

The herd seemed to repeat itself, circling over the same area over and over. That had to be the people hiding in the dead. Nix felt tense; how could they lead the dead so easily like that? It was leaving Nix tense as she knew the herd could so easily follow them too. They had to know that if there were people out there hurt, then more from that group would come out to find them. The people in the herds had to be smart like that, to understand how other communities would work.

The sun had set for the day, and it was dark, the light from the stars their only natural light. They took out their flashlights, and Nix picked up the pace. Carl followed her and Sophia on his horse, keeping pace with her. Her heart was up in her throat as she followed tracks that got fresher and fresher. They were getting close to Daryl and the others; she was finally going to see him again. She had to try and keep a level head as she thought about it.

They paused, and Nix saw the herd going a certain way, changing direction.

‘We go around them. Quick and quiet, turn off the lights.’

Carl and Sophia nodded, doing as she asked of them. It didn’t help that a fog had started to set around them, making it harder to see things. They had to try and hope that the fog would benefit them more than it would the people hiding among the dead. The three of them took a wide turn around the walkers, careful to make sure the people in the herd didn’t see them. Nix didn’t know how to tell them apart from the dead, not yet anyway. But she knew that she could learn. Maybe it was about watching the hands, seeing how hollowed out the face was.

She’d learn in the light of day, preferably. She didn’t want to have to have to learn this new skill at all.

They found some horses and a bike. They had found where Daryl, Jesus and Aaron had hidden their rides. Nix, Sophia and Carl got off their horses and tied them to the posts the other horses were tied to. They followed the tracks once more. They spotted more of the dead at a cemetery they had stumbled across following some tracks that had a person missing; someone had to have stayed behind to try and diver the herd. ‘We move around, that way, find the entrance.’

They stayed hidden in a crouch, moving as quickly as they could with their awkward positions. Nix didn’t stop moving, the fear of this new threat pumped adrenaline through her body. She had to save her father and his friends from the huge herd she and Carl and Sophia had spotted. She was desperate to make sure she and the people of Hilltop didn’t lose any more people. They made it to the gated entrance, and she saw three men there. The gates were jammed shut with mud and dirt. Nix dropped her backpack and slung her bow over her back, scaling over the fence in record time.

One of the men had a dislocated knee who had to be Eugene, the other man was Aaron, the man she recognised as the one with the metal arm. They needed help. Nix helped to dig out the dirt from their side as the other man – Jesus? – dealt with walkers coming their way. Nix turned away from Aaron and Eugene and helped Jesus with the dead.

“There are people among the dead!” Sophia yelled to them when Nix glanced back at her. “Hidden by skin.”

The man looked to her, and she nodded, gesturing back to Sophia before she resumed shooting at the walkers that approached them. ‘Hands,’ Nix mouthed to Jesus, tapping one of her own hands so that the man understood her.

They eyed up each walker that came their way, and Nix shot at every walker she didn’t like the look of, not trusting the fog and her eyesight to work as well as it could. She had yet to see one of the skinned freaks for herself, and she didn’t trust that she could tell them apart just yet. It terrified her that she wouldn’t be able to tell them apart until it could be too late.

It came down to two walkers. Nix was backed up against the gate, and Jesus was further away, taking out the first walker, going for the next. The walker ducked, and Nix had already let the arrow go, shooting into the thing’s neck. It dropped the weapon it had been holding, and grasped at the arrow in its neck, blood spurting out from its fingers. It fell, blood glistening from the wound, and she shot it again in the head. Jesus looked at her, signing his thanks to her.

Masked people ran at them before they had a chance to look at the skin freak Nix had killed.

Carl, Sophia, and Aaron pushed back into the cemetery and started to slash and cut at the fake walkers. Nix was brutal; she took out their knees, hit them in their throats and cut deep mortal wounds. The five of them were quick and efficient to take out the walkers. Another person had joined them, holding a crossbow, and Nix didn’t look at him until the immediate threat was over. They took out the skin freaks with relative ease. The threat was gone for the moment.

She looked down at the one she had taken out, and grabbed the mask off him. It felt fleshy, and she ignored how it was a literal skin mask. She grimaced, looking at Sophia, who looked just as disgusted as she was. She turned to look at the man she recognised as her father, who had gone sheet white, seeing her standing there like a ghost.

‘Nix?’ he signed, fingers trembling as he looked at her.

‘Let’s get out of here.’ Nix signed to him. He nodded and they pushed out of the cemetery, shutting the gates, and locked them before they all ran out of the cemetery, the herd pushing up against the gates. They had only just gotten out of the cemetery in time. Nix knew there had to be more of those skin wearers in the herd, so it was only a matter of time before they caught up to them somehow.

They all ran together at a quick enough pace for Eugene with his dislocated knee. It had been a good idea for Nix and the others to come; she didn’t want to know how else the night could have gone down. Maybe if they hadn’t come, then all four men would be dead, and Nix would’ve never seen her father again. The idea was horrifying, and Nix forced herself to push it away; he was right there with her again, and she had to be the luckiest person in the world.

Chapter 11: The Whisperers

Chapter Text

‘How are you here?’ Daryl asked. He hadn’t moved from her side as their group speed walked to where Daryl and the others had put their horses, where Nix and her friends had left theirs. The sun had started to rise over the horizon once more. They hadn’t stopped walking ever since they left the cemetery, knowing what threat could be following them.

‘It’s a long story. I met Aaron and Judith when I was out there with my group. I’ll tell you when we get back to Hilltop. I’m glad you’re alive.’

Daryl looked over to Aaron. “You couldn’t have told me that my daughter was alive?”

“I didn’t know that she was your daughter. I never saw her ask for you.”

Nix shrugged. ‘I only asked Rick and Carl when I saw them at Alexandria.’

The others were talking about the people hiding in among the walkers, talking about how someone had to be batshit to do something like that. Nix didn’t want to be part of that conversation. The sun had risen higher as they’d gotten to their horses. They had to keep moving.

They let Eugene onto one of the horses, Aaron and Jesus on their own horses as Carl was on his own. Nix, Sophia and Daryl were walking, and Dog was ahead of them. They kept walking, and Daryl stayed close beside Nix, not wanting to see her stray too far from him. Nix could barely believe that he was there beside her once more. Her heart had yet to stop hammering in her chest.

The dog started barking, and they slowed down, looking at each other before they got ready. Nix stayed by Sophia’s side on the other side of the bridge as Daryl and Dog were on the right side. They watched from the corners as the walkers entered the bridge. Daryl shot at one, and it didn’t react. He shot at another, who fell, clutching the wound.

Two walkers turned around. Nix and Sophia stood upright, moving into the middle of the entrance of the bridge. One of the skin masks realised how fucked they were and pulled out a knife, rushing the two. Nix killed the man with ease, a knife through the chest, and she didn’t feel anything for him as he fell, bleeding to death. Sophia looked to the other one, who was clearly panicked. They dropped the knife, having been quickly surrounded by Sophia, Nix, Carl, Daryl and Jesus, who had taken care of the walkers. Their hands were up in surrender. It had been too easy to make them surrender.

Nix reached over and pulled the mask off the person. It was a girl, barely older than sixteen. She kept saying something, maybe the word please, but Nix couldn’t hear it. She threw the mask aside as Daryl hefted her up, Sophia hissing something at the girl that Nix couldn’t catch.

They left, a herd had been coming, and Nix wondered if there were more of the masked people in the herd. They had to make sure the herd couldn’t follow them. The girl ended up with her hands bound and cloth covering her eyes. She wouldn’t know where they were going or the whereabouts of Hilltop unless they let her know.

It was a long trek back to Hilltop, and Nix was relieved when it came into view. The sun had risen up high in the sky, and Nix was tired. She hadn’t had any sleep that night, and she needed to catch up on some rest.

The people of Hilltop seemed relieved that Jesus and the others had come back. Tara and Jesus hugged, smiles on their faces as Aaron went to hug the woman Tara was friends with. Daryl and Rick dragged the girl into the back of the large house, presumably to some jail cells. Tara joined the men down in the cells, and Nix looked over to Sophia. ‘What do we do now?’

“Let’s put the weapons away. You did good out there, tracking like that.”

Nix offered a smile, not sure what else to do. Tracking was just something she did; she’d had to do it otherwise she would’ve starved in that year alone.

They took their weapons back into the holding area.

“Keep hold of that,” Sophia said, pointing to the knives Nix had gone to put away. “I think you’ve earned our trust enough, and I want you to be safe. We don’t know what could happen, so everyone should have at least a knife on them.”

‘OK.’ Nix nodded.

‘Introduce you to some friends?’

‘Go for it.’

Sophia beamed.

 


 

 

‘Where’s Luke?’ Nix signed to Enid and Sophia, mouthing along.

“He went out with Alden, looping an area to find you and the others,” Enid told her, an apologetic look on her face. “He should be back soon, they were only supposed to do one loop and come back.” She saw the look on Nix’s face. “I can ask Tara when they should be back; several groups went out to do loops of an area.”

Nix nodded, signing ‘please,’ to her. Enid patted her arm and left them to find Tara.

Nix looked around Hilltop, wondering just how well she’d fit into the place. It felt nothing like Jones Springs or Coalport. The community had even lasted longer than either of them. This place had potential, and it showed. It had to have gone through hell to still be standing.

“Your friend is going to be OK. Alden’s good at looking out for people.” Sophia said.

Nix smiled a little. ‘Luke’s good at that too.’ She could remember all the times he had looked out for her, protected her. ‘So … who is this Alden?’

Sophia grinned at her, a devilish sort of thing that Nix couldn’t quite place. “Hot, right? He’s one of our blacksmiths, and he’s been with us for a while. Single too if you’re interested,” she said, and Nix rolled her eyes before punching Sophia’s arm; that was what the devilish look was for. She’d barely been reunited with her friend for a day, and she was already trying to set her up with someone. “He’s also, like, my best friend here. Aside from you now. You’ve always been my best friend.”

‘You’re my best friend too,’ Nix signed to her, and Sophia beamed, putting an arm around Nix’s shoulders, pulling her close for a brief moment. ‘You’re so weird.’ Nix told her when they pulled away from each other.

“Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m super fucking hungry. Oh, hey, Enid’s back. Babe!”

Enid had a fond smile on her face as she pushed Sophia’s hand away from her, then kissed her briefly. She turned to look at Nix. “They should be back before sundown,” she told her, and Nix thanked her, feeling only the slightest bit of relief to hear that he’d be back soon.

Sophia dragged the two women to go and get some food as the dinner preparations happened around them.

‘Community dinner?’ Nix signed, raising an eyebrow at Sophia, who snorted at the unimpressed look on Nix’s face.

“Maggie thought about it – fuck, I didn’t tell you. Maggie from the farm used to be the leader here but she’s gone to a different community to help there. She should come back here soon, in a few months. Until then, Jesus is our unwilling leader.”

It took a moment for Nix to comprehend what Sophia had said. She was more open now than what she used to be; she used to be small and quiet, now she was loud and quick mouthed.

“Maybe slow down?” Enid suggested, and Nix nodded, gesturing to Enid, who had been easier to read off.

‘Sorry,’ Sophia signed, a sheepish look on her face. Nix smiled and waved her off as they made to get dinner together. The three young women sat together and were soon joined by Connie and Kelly. Yumiko and Magna kept their distance, a few seats away on the long table. They all tucked into their meals, and Nix was pleased with just how good the food tasted. She hadn’t had such a good meal in a long while.

 


 

 

Nix was worried about Alden and Luke. The men hadn’t returned from their loop of the perimeter, and it made Nix anxious. She wondered if she should go out and find them, but she knew that Tara and the others wouldn’t want more people to go missing looking for their people. It would turn into a cat and dog chase.

Rick and the others were leaving. That included Carl. Nix wanted them to stay, just until Luke and Alden had returned, to know they were safe. But she understood; Rick needed to return to his people to tell them about the masked people who hid among the dead. They had to be warned before it was too late.

‘Take care,’ Nix signed to them once they had finished packing. ‘Dangerous people out there.’

‘I know. You be careful,’ Carl signed, a smile on his face. They shared a brief hug, and she and Rick shared a hug too. It had been nice to see them, and it hurt to know that they were going to leave again. Nix was glad that she knew where Alexandria was if she wanted to visit them. Until then, it would be the last time she’d see them. She almost wished that Rick and Carl didn’t want to leave her so soon, but she understood they had family back in Alexandria, and needed to get back to them to keep them safe.

‘I’m going to talk to that girl,’ Daryl signed to her once Rick and Carl had left. ‘Do you have any idea on how I could get her to talk?’

Nix shrugged, a frown creasing her brow as she thought about it. ‘Is there anyone else there with her?’

‘A kid. Henry – Sophia’s brother. He’d gotten drunk and he’s doing his time there.’

Nix nodded her head as an idea popped into mind. ‘Get them to talk, since they’re similar ages. Nothing like teens bonding over adults being assholes.’

Daryl nodded, a brief smile on his face. ‘I’m glad you’re alive.’

‘Sap,’ she signed, and let him pull her into a hug.

She held onto him tightly, hiding her face in his neck. She didn’t want to ever let him go ever again. She knew how slim the chances were of seeing each other again, and she never wanted to leave him again, or for him to leave her. After a long moment, the two pulled away from each other, and Daryl put a hand on her face for a moment, a smile on his own face. God, she was glad that she had managed to find him again after so damn long. Her heart ached at the thought of losing him again.

‘If she won’t reveal information, you could always try scare tactics. Henry might get defensive and try and stop you. Then you can have someone listening in on them both, to see what the girl says to him.’

Daryl clapped a hand on her shoulder as he nodded at her signs. ‘You’re too smart for your own good.’

‘You were the one who asked for my ideas.’ Nix offered a smile to him, and he returned it before he left and made his way to the cells in the cellar of the big house. Sophia had mentioned that it was called Barrington House. That sounded posh and something that Nix wouldn’t have gone near in the times before the apocalypse. But she supposed she was a different person now, and Barrington was used differently to what it may have been before.

Nix moved up onto the watch post and kept an eye out over the surrounding land. It was nice keeping watch. She was good with her eyes, had good sight for someone her age, so she wanted to use it to benefit the community that she was with. She wanted Luke to come back, to enjoy the community that was Hilltop. She half expected him to appear on the path, a shit-eating grin on his face, Alden in tow.

Nix wondered where they were if they were OK. She hoped they were looking out for each other.

 


 

 

Another night had passed. They hadn’t heard from Luke or Alden, and Nix had had enough. She was going to try and find them idiots. They had been out there for too long, with either little to no supplies, and Nix knew Luke was shit when it came to hunting for himself, let alone for another person. She couldn’t just sit by idly; this was the man she considered a father, and he was with one of Sophia’s friends. She couldn’t sit by when she could do something when she was useful.

Nix said as such to Daryl and Jesus, who nodded, offering to take them out on a brief tracking run, to try and find Luke and Alden. Nix and Daryl led the way, following the tracks as best they could. Nix didn’t like the way the tracks worked, almost like they had been done for the group.

‘Something isn’t right.’ Nix signed, looking to Connie. She pointed to the tracks, and Connie nodded her agreement, then pulled out some binoculars, looking around. She paused and looked to Nix.

‘Over there, the dead are eating something.’ Connie handed over the binoculars, and Nix saw the horses, dead on the grass.

‘They’re eating horses.’ Nix signed, clocking what the animals were from the distance and the dead. Nix’s stomach dropped; the horses had to belong to Luke and Alden.

‘Horses?’ Jesus asked, and the two deaf women pointed in the direction of the horses that Connie had spotted.

‘Keep your distance and watch their hands. They could go for knives,’

They walked in the direction of the dead horses, where walkers were eating them. Nix raised her bow, arrow nocked in place, and she shot at a walker. Yumiko was beside her, doing the same thing. They each steadily approached the dead, using throwing knives and slingshots and spears to take out the dead. The threat was over within a minute.

Nix moved forwards, to the horses and crouched in front of them, her eyes landing on the cuts. She looked to Connie who had come to crouch beside her, eyes on the same thing.

‘The skin freaks,’ Nix signed to her. ‘They cut the horses,’ she pointed along the cut line. ‘Use the horses to prove a point to us? They may have Luke and Alden.’

Connie nodded, clenching her jaw as she eyed up the horses before they both stood back up. ‘The freaks have Luke and Alden,’ she signed, and Nix looked around; the skin freaks had to be nearby, to make sure that their group had actually found the horses. They’d tell their leader and do something to Luke and Alden.

‘Should we head back or keep going?’ Connie asked of Nix.

Nix shrugged a shoulder, glancing around. ‘We can’t hear the difference between walkers and the whispers.’

‘We can spot the difference in how they walk,’ Connie countered.

‘Yeah, but it’s still dangerous.’

‘This is Luke we’re talking about,’ Kelly interjected, looking surprised at Nix’s sudden uneasiness.

Daryl grabbed their attention. ‘We head back, stay behind the walls and make a plan.’ The look on his face left no room for argument, and Nix didn’t want to argue with him. She knew they had to make a real plan before they headed out into the unknown. It was too dangerous now.

‘What if we don’t?’

‘We will, let’s go.’

Daryl and Jesus turned away and walked back to Hilltop. Nix looked at the others in her group before she followed after the two men. She didn’t know what to do or what to think. They had to make a plan, had to figure out what the potential motive was from the new threat, and figure out where they were and where they could be keeping Alden and Luke.

Nix sighed and followed them back to Hilltop. Once inside, Nix kept her father company after he released Sophia from watch duty over Henry and the girl. The two sat together in silence, and Nix watched her father as he listened to the two teenagers talk. She couldn’t believe how long his hair had gotten, how he had new scars on his face. He had changed, for the better. Nix should’ve known the apocalypse would benefit her father. He had gained a new family, one she could mould herself to, make it her family too.

Daryl jerked up to his feet and rushed down into the cellar. Nix watched as he dragged the boy out, talking to him in a low voice. Nix watched, not sure what had to have gone on. Henry had to have said something that he shouldn’t have to the girl. After a moment, Henry stalked off, and Nix watched him go. He saw her watching, and he glared at her. He said something, and she didn’t know what he said, so flipped him off.

Daryl looked to her. ‘I’m going to talk to her. Grab me some painkillers.’ She nodded and went into the medical trailer, where Enid was working.

Enid saw her, then pulled out a notepad and pen, handing it over to her.

Do you have any painkillers or anti-
biotics?

Enid nodded and looked around, searching through the cabinets before she grabbed a small bottle. She looked at Nix. “For the girl, right? She keeps pulling on her ear like it hurts.” She handed it over. “Are you OK?”

Nix nodded, though her face said otherwise, not quite sure with how she was feeling. I miss Luke.

“You two must be close. Hey, I’m going off my shift in a few minutes, we can hang out if you want.” Nix nodded and waved to Enid before she went and gave the tablets to Daryl. He nodded to her before he went back down into the cellar.

Nix didn’t know what to do with herself. Luckily, Enid appeared a few minutes later, a pleasant smile on her face. Nix smiled back at her, holding up her notepad: Tell me about Hilltop.

 


 

 

Nix was sat beside Connie, an unimpressed look on her face as she watched the others interacting. The sun had started to set for the day, and they hadn’t heard hide nor hair from Alden and Luke. It was unnerving Nix. It didn’t take Luke this long to come back. Something had to have happened, and the others knew as such.

‘This is crazy, we should go back out it’s been too long. Luke could be hurt and waiting on us.’ Yumiko signed, talking along as Magna wasn’t looking at her, sharpening her knife instead.

‘Luke can handle himself, and they say Alden can too,’ Nix signed, and saw the offended look on Yumiko’s face when she asked if they should risk it. ‘I know, let me finish. I’m just as worried about Luke as you are, and I want him back here with us.’ She raised an eyebrow at Yumiko. ‘What’s your plan? Sneak out?’

Yumiko looked unimpressed. ‘It’s the best plan we have; they don’t let anyone out at night.’

Nix looked over at Magna. ‘I almost screwed up for us at Alexandria. We got a second chance. But if we go against Jesus and Tara, we could lose everything, and Nix being Daryl’s kid won’t do shit for us, Luke wouldn’t want us to lose it.’

‘Luke would want us to be together,’ Kelly signed, and Nix knew she had a point. Luke had always been the one determined to make sure their group was together, would stay connected in whatever way possible. ‘All of us. There’s a way we could sneak out of Hilltop. I saw some kids do it the other night.’

‘Well I vote we go.’ Yumiko signed, then raised her hand. Nix watched as Kelly did the same. ‘Who else?’ Nix looked to Connie, silently asking if they should agree to go out there. Even if they didn’t want to, they would all go out there as a group.

Nix shook her head. Of course they’d sneak out. There was no way they’d be let out otherwise.

‘It’s Luke. Minute by minute, day by day, ride or die. That’s how we got here, so we keep that. We need to, even if it costs us all this.’ Kelly put her hand up again, then Yumiko did. Connie put her hand up, and Nix sighed a little before relenting, putting her hand up. They’d been outvoted anyway. Besides, they were ride or die.

Nix and Luke had always been a ride or die duo. She couldn’t leave him out there.

It took a few seconds as Magna contemplated it, then nodded her head in agreement, swayed by what Yumiko had said.

‘Good.’ Yumiko signed, nodding her own head. ‘We leave tonight.’

 


 

 

It was far too easy to sneak out of Hilltop. Nix didn’t trust how easy that had been; one of the people from the watch posts had to have spotted them leaving, had to alert the others that they had gone. They let Nix lead the way, following the tracks that she could just about see through the dark. Nix kept an arrow nocked in place, ready for any threat that came their way. She had her knives on her too, for if she ran out of arrows.

They got far enough for Nix to notice something in the tracks. She kneeled down for a better view of them. ‘These aren’t the same tracks.’ Nix signed to the others. Connie and Kelly crouched beside her, seeing the difference in the tracks.

‘They are. Check out how they turn, the dead don’t do that.’ Kelly signed, pointing to the tracks. Nix wasn’t convinced. Maybe there were more skin freaks than what they expected. Maybe it was a separate small herd.

‘It could be our skin friends, keep your eyes open.’ Magna signed before she went to talk to Yumiko. Nix and the sisters got back to their feet, looking at Yumiko.

‘I keep thinking about Coalport.’ Yumiko told them, and Nix felt her stomach do a nasty flip. She glanced away for a second, memories of the shithole hitting her hard.

‘If we hadn’t left our post, we’d be dead like the others.’

‘We had to run. We didn’t have a choice.’

Nix hadn’t been in Coalport when things had started, but she had been there when things crashed and burned to shit. She had been lucky to survive and find the others again. They had lost a lot of friends in Coalport. Nix looked around their immediate surroundings, trying to forget about Coalport, trying to ignore how it reminded her of Jones Springs.

‘If we had a vote, we had a choice.’ Yumiko told them.

Magna was quick to respond. ‘Our choice was not to die.’

‘Was it?’ Yumiko asked quickly. ‘Or is that what we keep telling ourselves?’ Nix looked around in time to see a walker try and grab Kelly. She threw her knife at its head, and the walker fell, and Kelly jumped out of its way.

‘We have to be alert, to stop thinking about this shit. We’re out here for Luke.’

‘There’s a lot of sickos. Be quiet,’ Kelly signed to them as Nix held her two knives in her hands, tense as she looked around the dark.

Yumiko got their attention. ‘Hey! It’s too dark and dangerous to look for Luke. This won’t help.’

‘It was you who told us to sneak out here.’ Nix told her, annoyed. ‘Either you wanted to come out here for Luke or you couldn’t let go of the past.’

Yumiko clenched her jaw, looking away from Nix as Kelly signed, ‘We can’t give up. We love Luke. He’s our family.’

Yumiko’s eyes were bright as she held back the tears. ‘We need to go back before …’ She put her hands to her head, visibly upset.

‘She’s right.’ Magna signed.

Connie looked at her sister. ‘They’re right. We’ll come back out when we have a plan. All of us.’

Kelly shook her head, and Nix knew she was starting to get upset herself. The others started to walk off, but Nix and Kelly stayed in their spots.

‘I remember about that last day at Coalport. Nix didn’t even get to see half the shit that went down, but I did. I remember getting separated. And I remember Luke was the one that found me. I can’t leave him out here. I’m sorry but I can’t.’

Nix pulled Kelly into a hug, letting the older woman cling to her. ‘You three can head back. I’ll stay out here with Kelly.’

‘I’ll stay with you two, I need to stay with my sister.’ Connie signed to them, and Nix nodded, knowing she couldn’t sway Connie in any way.

‘We’ll be fine, I promise.’ Nix told Yumiko and Magna as she pulled away from Kelly. The two women left them, and Nix led Connie and Kelly in the direction of the tracks, feeling like they were being watched.

 


 

 

It was maybe an hour later that they had been found by some of the guards of Hilltop.

‘They want us to come back.’ Kelly signed, and Nix had gotten the gist of it when she’d seen the way they spoke, the annoyed looks on their faces.

Nix relented, and the three of them walked back with the guards. Nix lagged behind a little, more annoyed than anything as she followed them back to Hilltop. She had wanted to find Luke as much as Kelly had; she’d known him the longest, had trusted him for almost half her life.

The sun had risen high into the sky as she and the others steadily made it back to the Hilltop. The fields came into view, and Nix sighed, knowing that she was going to be told off by Daryl and Jesus, probably her friends too. Not that Nix cared; she had wanted to try and find Luke and she’d failed. She frowned, and glanced around, and her heart leapt into her throat. She looked around and saw Connie was close, and she grabbed her arm and pulled her into the cornfield.

The skin freaks were there, marching across the farming fields. She’d spotted them through the corn, had seen the speed they walked at, how upright they were. The skin freaks had found out where they lived. Nix wondered if they had Luke and Alden captive there.

‘We wait them out,’ Nix signed to Connie, who nodded.

They had to stay there or try and find a way back into Hilltop. Nix knew that they’d get spotted eventually, and they had to be prepared to fight. Nix couldn’t do anything as she watched as one of them, the one without a mask, moved ahead to the front of the group. That had to be the leader. She was bald and dirty, looking determined even from a distance.

Nix looked to the walls of Hilltop, squinting. She could see her father there, alongside Jesus, Tara, Magna and Yumiko. She wondered what they were doing, what they were thinking. They had to be making a quick plan, to figure out what to do, what to say to the leader. The leader had to want the girl back. Nix saw Kelly appear at the top, saw her spot them in the corn field.

Nix could feel the way her heart beat hard in her chest as she watched them; they were no doubt talking. The leader put her hand up, and more skin freaks appeared. Nix’s heart did a somersault as she realised just how much shit their group was in. These people had to be crazy to wear the skin masks, had to be dangerous in such a big group.

Daryl left the top of the post, and Nix watched him exit Hilltop to go and talk to the leader. Nix looked around at the skin freaks, wondering what the hell they were doing, what they could be thinking. Nix was just glad that they hadn’t spotted them yet.

Two of the skin freaks walked past Nix and Connie on their right, oblivious to them in their hiding spot. They returned with two people; hands bound. They had to be Luke and Alden. Nix watched as her father and the leader spoke together, and she wondered what they could be talking about. They put knives to Luke and Alden’s throats, and Nix felt tense as she watched on. Nix swallowed as she held the bowstring between her fingers, ready to drawback and fire if need be.

She looked to the left and saw walkers steadily walking, slowly approaching them. She watched as Luke looked around, and then he spotted them.

‘Stay hidden. The dead are coming.’ Nix glanced in the direction of the walkers, tense as she and Connie waited. It was only a matter of time before the dead would get close enough to smell them and find them.

It was terrifying. The long wait. Nix watched as the dead started to move closer. The others on the wall started banging on the walls. She looked in Luke’s direction. ‘Baby crying. Over there.’ Nix looked over and saw the baby on the floor.

‘Stay here,’ Nix signed to Connie, and she looped her bow over her back, and ran out for the baby.

She kicked a skin freak to the ground and saw the walkers in front of her go down as Connie shot them with her slingshot. Nix picked up the baby and slung the carry part over her shoulder, keeping the baby close to her as she held it in one hand, knife in the other. She backed away, seeing the freaks come towards her. She ran back into the cornfield.

The dead followed her, and she stabbed at them as Connie tried to lead the way to the Hilltop. Nix and Connie moved through the rows of corn, and then when Nix looked in front of her, a walker blocked the path between her and Connie. She stabbed at it, and they moved through the rows again until another walker appeared in front of Nix, only to be killed again. They ran forwards, and paused, seeing the dead surrounding them from all angles. Nix jumped when a walker grabbed her arm, and she kicked its leg out from under it and stabbed it. In front of her and Connie was putting down another walker, but then Daryl was there, stabbing it. He pulled her forwards, and the two deaf women followed Kelly and some Hilltoppers into Hilltop. She glanced around and saw Luke and Alden watching as they ran into Hilltop.

‘Is the baby OK?’ Kelly asked.

Nix nodded, looking down at the baby in her arms. ‘Baby’s fine,’ she signed with one hand, then patted the baby’s bare stomach. It was only wearing a diaper made from cloth, and the carrier thing it was held in was the only other meagre type of clothing it had. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked once one of the women took the baby from her.

‘Enid’s gone to get Lydia, Alpha’s daughter. Henry took her somewhere.’ Kelly explained.

‘We have to wait. How do we know she will too?’ Nix asked, pointing to the front entrance of Hilltop, where the alleged Alpha was. She wondered what Alpha thought of her taking the baby, stopping it from being killed.

It took maybe twenty minutes before Enid returned with a young girl, Henry, and the leader’s daughter, Lydia. Lydia said her goodbyes, and Daryl led her out towards her mother.

‘Her mother beats her,’ Kelly told Nix and Connie, and Nix set her jaw.

‘I’ll kill the bitch,’ she signed. ‘Watch me.’

‘We have a permanent threat in our backyard. We have to see how dangerous they are.’ Connie told her, a look in her eyes telling Nix not to do anything dangerous.

‘Assess the danger and take it out. Wish we’d done that with Silas.’

Connie put an arm around her, and all they could do was watch as Luke and Alden were returned to them. Sophia moved out to go and hug Alden, taking the bindings off his wrists as he spat out the gag that he had in his mouth. Nix had moved forwards to Luke, untying his hands and taking the gag out of his mouth before she hugged him tightly. She pulled him back into the safety of Hilltop’s walls.

The others had their turn hugging Luke, and they turned and watched on as the woman hit her daughter before hugging her. Nix felt her blood boil, and she wanted to drag Lydia back into the safety of Hilltop’s walls.

‘You two OK?’ Nix asked instead, turning her attention away from Lydia, feeling like her insides were tearing themselves up at the action.

‘Yeah. We followed a trail of your arrows, thought you left us a trail.’

‘I taught you better than to believe that shit. I leave you some foot trails.’

Luke laughed, shaking his head. ‘I’ll know better for next time.’

Nix tilted her head to the side, unimpressed. ‘There better not be a next time,’ she signed, and laughed. Luke laughed too and pulled her into a hug once more.

Chapter 12: Hunting and Pianos

Chapter Text

Nix watched as Henry angrily practised with his staff. She didn’t know what he and Lydia had talked about, but she knew that he had a crush on the girl, had those young feelings for her. Daryl walked past him, then paused to talk to him. Nix wondered what the two were talking about and wondered if the boy would pay attention and behave. Nix doubted that Henry would behave, and she knew the boy would go running after Lydia at the first chance he got.

Nix looked over at Luke and Alden, who were talking quietly. It made her curious as to what they could be talking about. Nix admired Alden’s gelled back hair, wondering how he’d found some gel that was still in date and would work. She turned her attention onto her book, resting her head on her fist as she wondered what to do, what she could provide for Hilltop. She supposed she could talk to Jesus about it, see what jobs she could do. Blacksmithing sounded like an interesting job, but then again, she supposed it was mostly because she found herself … potentially attracted to Alden. He was an attractive man, a nice jawline, nicer eyes, and he could clearly hold himself together when faced with a threat, and there was the added benefit that he and Luke appeared to get on like a house on fire, had bonded well during their time as prisoners to the leader of the skin freaks.

A hand appeared on the table, knocking on the wood. Nix looked up to see Jesus there.

‘How are you finding Hilltop?’ Jesus asked, hands slow and steady as he got used to the way of sign language. Nix offered a smile.

‘Did Daryl teach you ASL?’ she asked, and Jesus nodded. ‘That’s cute. I’m liking Hilltop. Better than the other communities I’ve been in.’ Nix kept her communication to a pace that Jesus could keep up with. ‘So you’re a temporary leader?’

‘Maggie is away for the time being, and the people like how I lead them in her place. We recently had a re-election, and I had hoped that someone else would run for leader.’ Jesus pulled a face, and Nix snorted a laugh. ‘And here I am.’

Nix laughed a little, a smile on her face as she looked at the man, despite the thoughts running through her head. ‘Here you are. I’m glad you’re here. Anything you can tell me about my dad?’ She knew that if she asked him directly, Daryl would never tell her the traumatic things he had been through, the things he had to have done to survive, how he had gotten to the place he was now. She was curious, but she knew she’d only get the information from his friends and have to trust the vagueness they’d provide.

‘He’s a tough one, he’s survived a lot, endured a lot too. You should be proud of your father.’

‘I am.’ She nodded her head. ‘When I was growing up, I used to wonder if he’d be proud of me after everything I did, what I’d gone through.’ She frowned a little, remembering all the people that she had killed; it was a small number in contrast to some other people she knew, but she was still thankful to have killed so few people. No-one could have gotten through the life without killing someone.

‘Penny for your thoughts?’

Nix’s eyebrows were pulled together as she contemplated it. ‘I was alone, after the farm,’ she admitted. ‘For a year. I nearly went insane from the isolation. Then I met Luke, and things got easier because I wasn’t alone anymore.’

Jesus eyebrows had shot up into his hairline when he saw the way Nix admitted her loneliness, and she knew what he was thinking: how did a kid survive that?

‘It’s … inspirational that you survived alone so young,’ Jesus signed carefully, trying to find the right words. ‘Did you ever find other communities?’

Nix nodded. ‘Jones Springs and Coalport.’ Her nose upturned at the sour memories. ‘Both of them were bad communities. We were lucky to get out of there when we did.’

She watched the way Jesus frowned at her, curiosity lining his face. ‘May I ask what happened there?’

‘In Jones Springs I had a stalker. He was the leader’s husband. She did nothing about it. In the end, I killed him. I was … fourteen, I think. Maybe fifteen. He still haunts my nightmares. Coalport was a little bit better, but everything there sucked. I met my girlfriend there, and she was sweet, kind. We got out of Coalport together when it fell. She lost her brother and father that day. I lost her a few years ago when I was … twenty-one. I’m twenty-three now but it still hurts.’

‘I’m sorry you lost her. What was her name?’

‘Her name was Hazel Presley. She was the best thing to ever happen to me.’

 


 

 

The others were sharing drinks, and Nix passed on it. She and Connie were both uneasy as they looked at the others celebrate Luke’s return. Nix knew why she was uneasy, why Connie was too. They both knew what Lydia had been sent back to, and neither of them could live with it. They felt guilty, even just by association. It wasn’t easy knowing what kinds of things that poor kid had been sent back to.

Nix pulled out her notepad, writing in it before she turned it around so Connie could read it.

Go if you want. I know you want to.

Will you come as well? Connie wrote her answering question, an eyebrow raised at Nix.

I think I’ve been in enough trouble for one
day. Someone else may want to go with
you. Maybe Henry or Jesus. They both seemed
to like Lydia. I know you do, even if you
haven’t properly met her yet.

You know me too well, Nixie Pixie.

You’re basically my mom, of course I
know you too well.

‘Let’s go outside,’ Connie signed to Nix, who nodded. The two went outside, waving to the others before they went to go and sit on a bench in the cool air. Nix pointed to Barrington, where Daryl and Tara were talking. She nodded to Connie, and the two of them walked up to Daryl and Jesus.

‘Dad,’ Nix signed, and Daryl looked at her. ‘What’s happened?’

I COULDN’T LIVE WITH IT, was written on a piece of paper, and Nix assumed that was Henry’s letter to him.

‘You’re going to go after him, aren’t you? What about the girl?’

Daryl shrugged a shoulder. ‘Henry is my responsibility; his mom wanted me to look after him.’

Sophia appeared behind Jesus, and she was holding her weapons. “That’s my idiot little brother out there. I’m going after him too, and you can’t tell me not to, Daryl.” she said, leaving no room for argument. Nix smiled at her, knowing she would keep a level head and make sure nothing went wrong. Sophia returned it and came to stand next to her, holding out a letter. “Read it when I’m gone, OK?” she said, and Nix nodded. After a little bit of arguing with Daryl, he was flanked by Connie and Sophia, both of whom were determined to get Lydia and Henry back.

Nix glanced at Jesus as she sat down on the porch of Hilltop. Nix offered a weak smile to Jesus, who nodded to her and left her alone. Nix sighed to herself as she opened up the letter from Sophia.

Nix,
I know that Daryl will want to just go after Henry, but
I’m going to go after Lydia too. I know what we sent
her back to, and I’m not going to let that happen to
another kid. I see Ed every time I think about it, so I’m
going to do right by her because no-one did right by
me.
Keep an eye on Enid for me, please? I haven’t told her,
not that she knows about Ed like you do. Burn this
letter as well. I don’t like reminders of Ed being around.
I’ll probably see you at the Fair in the Kingdom. You’ll
enjoy it there!
I’ll see you later, give my love to Enid.
- Sophia

Nix clenched her jaw as she read over the letter again before she got up to burn it. She found a packet of cigarettes, and she pulled out her lighter from her jacket pocket. She lit a cigarette before she lit the letter on fire, as requested. Nix could remember Sophia’s stuttered, halting explanation of the things her father had done to her, had wanted to do to her. People had underestimated Sophia, how observant she could be, and she had learned. Nix had hated Ed when she had known him, and it hadn’t lessened in his death.

Nix let the letter burn to nothing. She sat back down on the steps of Barrington, smoking the stupid cigarettes that smelled like her father. Nix fiddled with the cigarette, looking out into Hilltop. She blinked back the tears, clenching her jaw. It hurt to see how easily her dad had gone, had left her without really talking to her about it. She pulled her legs up to her chest, sighing a little. She couldn’t expect him to be around all the time; he was an important part of the community and did everything he could for the people he lived with.

There were footsteps behind her, the movement vibrating in the floorboards, and she glanced around to see Alden there, and she wiped at her eyes. He offered a smile before he sat beside her. She offered the cigarette, and he accepted. He handed it back to her after he’d took a drag, and then he pulled out a notepad. At least he had come prepared, unlike most people.

sorry about your dad leaving was written in his messy handwriting.

He's an idiot. She wrote back. She glanced up at Alden, who nodded his agreement, an amused look in his face. You're a blacksmith, right?

Alden nodded, and looked nervous on how to talk to her. Nix got it; how many deaf people would he have interacted with in the world before and the world now?

You can talk if you want. I'm ok at lip reading.

He smiled, nodding a little as Nix took a drag from the cigarette. It was almost to the butt, so she stubbed it out, flicking it into the ashtray on the table a few feet from them. Alden nudged Nix, and she looked at him. "Do you want me to make arrowheads for you?"

Nix shrugged before she nodded, a slight smile on her face. Please she wrote and he nodded, a shy sort of smile on his face.

"Can I ask why you and your dad were separated? I've heard some stories," he said, and Nix wanted to know what type of stories he had heard.

It was near the start. We were at a farm and it
got overrun. I wasn't with the others, a walker
fell on me. When I went to the rendezvous, they
had already gone. That’s it. I met Luke a year later.

Alden raised an eyebrow at the words on the page. "Wait, a year? What happened in that year?"

I was completely alone. Not bad for a 13-year-old. She turned the paper towards him, and he nodded his head a little. How have Sophia and my dad been?

"Daryl's your dad, right?" Alden said, just to make sure, and Nix nodded, seeing the surprise in his face. "Sorry. It's just that we're not that close. He never brings you up. But the people here care about him, look up to him. He's a good man, but I think he's changed from when you last saw him."

Who hasn't changed?

Alden inclined his head in agreement. "That's true. And Sophia's been good. She's strong, dependable and has been a key part to this community since she came here."

She's definitely changed. I almost didn't
recognise her.

"Yeah?" Alden said, and Nix nodded, pen to paper once more.

We were together at the start. She was more
scared of the world. We were just kids. It's nice
to see that she's gotten stronger. She was my
friend then and now.

"It must be weird to see her and everyone else again." Nix nodded, eyes a little wider for emphasis, and he looked away briefly, smile on his face. Nix guessed he laughed too with the way his shoulders moved. It was almost dreamlike, the state Nix was in. The people she had thought she had long since lost were still alive, and now they were around her once more. Someone approached from behind them, and the two looked to see Enid, a frantic look in her eyes.

“Have you seen Sophia?” she asked. Alden shook his head whilst Nix nodded. “Where is she?”

She went with Daryl and Connie to go get
Henry and Lydia. Personal reasons. Told
me to tell you. She said to give you her
love too.

“Personal reasons?” Enid asked, a frown on her face, taking the notepad in her hands. “And she didn’t tell me.”

‘It hits close to home.’ The two looked at Nix blankly, and she grabbed the notepad to write it down.

Enid’s frown was firm on her face, but she didn’t push questions on Nix, no doubt knowing that she wouldn’t tell her what hit close to home for Sophia. Enid nodded, and looked between the two. “Mind if I keep you company for a bit?”

“Go for it.” Enid sat on Alden’s other side, and the two talked for a little bit. They asked Nix to teach them how to sign the alphabet, and it took up enough time before Kelly came up to them.

‘Where’s Connie? She left with you.’

‘Gone for Lydia. Daryl and Sophia are with her too.’ Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘It was her choice; she couldn’t live with knowing what would happen to Lydia.’

Kelly gaped at her. ‘And you let her go? Why didn’t you go with her?’ Kelly turned to look at Alden and Enid. “Did you two know my sister went with Daryl? To go after Lydia?”

Nix waved at her, grabbing her attention. ‘I wasn’t wanted. Besides, I can’t remember the last time I slept. Connie’s going to be fine, don’t worry.’

Kelly scoffed, looking away from her. ‘Asshole.’

‘Fuck off.’ Nix shook her head at Kelly. ‘Don’t be like this. It’s her choice to go.’

 


 

 

What’s the fair?

Nix held out the notepad to Alden, a frown on her face.

“Uh, it’s between our communities – Hilltop and the Kingdom, where Henry and Sophia’s mom lives. We tried to get Alexandria to come but …” he trailed off, and Nix connected the dots from what she had seen in her brief time in Alexandria.

‘Michonne?’ she asked, and Alden nodded the confirmation.

“She wants to protect their community, but she’s shielding them too much. Being at the Fair would be a good thing, let us all be together, but with the Whisperers, I don’t think she’ll let even a convey go to the Fair.”

Do you think if I send a letter to Carl, he’ll
persuade Michonne to let someone go to
the Fair?

Alden shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe because you’re back, Carl and some others could come. You, him and Sophia, teamed up again, like when you were kids.”

Nothing about us now is anything like when
we were kids. But it’s worth a shot, right?

Alden smiled, nodding his head as he read over the letter. “So what are you planning to do here?” he asked, a good-natured look on his face. Nix liked his smile, all charm and a hint of nerves around the edges.

I would hunt, but Jesus won’t let me go out
alone. Dad’s not here so I can’t get him to
come out with me. Think you could join me
on a hunt?

“I’m too loud when I’m hunting.”

I could teach you how to be quiet.

Alden smiled a little. “I finish in half an hour here. Then we can go out and you can teach me how to hunt.” Nix returned the smile, wondering what the feeling was in her stomach as she watched Alden go back to work, doing blacksmithing stuff that Nix wasn’t aware of. She watched as he worked, impressed with the skill that Alden had picked up.

Earl, the lead blacksmith, kept glancing over at her, like he was unsure about her. She felt a little bad for hanging around, intruding on their space almost, but she didn’t really know anyone else, and Enid was busy tending to her patients whilst Kelly refused to talk to her. Nix didn’t know where to go, or who to talk to, and she figured she could hang around Alden. He’d seen her crying; he could deal with her bugging him at work.

Alden didn’t seem to mind her hanging around him; he knew she didn’t know anyone else there and had to know that until Luke would come and get her, she’d stay right there. Luke was busy trying to figure out where he could be of use in Hilltop, speaking with Jesus and Tara, probably talking about what use Nix could be of for the community. He would probably take up watch duty, try and help in the fields. He was a good man like that.

The half an hour passed by in a quick blur. Nix liked watching the way they worked, how they made the metal go into the shape they wanted. Once Alden was done, he crouched in front of his station and pulled out a bag.

“I made these earlier. Thought I’d drop ‘em by you, but you’re already here,” he said, handing the bag over. She peered inside and saw the arrowheads there. A quiet laugh escaped her.

‘Thank you,’ she signed.

‘You’re welcome,’ Alden signed, a little unsure of the sign. She corrected his hands, a smile on her face.

Not bad. She wrote on her notepad as they went to get bows. Jesus eyed the two of them up from his spot near the weapons room.

“Where are you two going?” he asked, eyebrow raised at the two as they took their bows and the quivers full of arrows.

Alden offered a bright smile to the leader. “Hunting. Nix is going to teach me.”

“Are you sure you should be going out there? The Whisperers,” he said, and it was hard to read it off his lips. Nix still had to try and get used to how Alden’s mouth moved around the words, never mind Jesus’. She was trying, and it was an exhausting thing to do, lip-reading.

I know how to tell the difference with the
dead and the freaks. We’re going to try &
hunt squirrels. Maybe deer if we’re lucky. We
won’t be gone long. Besides, we should take
something for the Fair.

Nix held out the notepad to the two men, who read it over, nodding their heads at her once they had read it.

“Squirrel?” Alden asked, an amused look in his eyes.

Nix shrugged. Tastes like a mix of rabbit and chicken.

Alden laughed a little, nodding at the words on her notepad. “Shall we go?”

Nix nodded, and Alden led her out of the weapons room. The sun was high and bright, and the wind was a little bit cooler than before. Nix wondered when her birthday would be. She was twenty-three, going on twenty-four and that was a shock to think about. She had survived so long into the apocalypse.

They went beyond the gates, and Nix nocked an arrow into her bow, fingers around the bowstring as Alden led the way into the surrounding forest.

 


 

 

Alden was watching her as she moved. She stepped with purpose and knew her steps were quiet as she moved through the forest, staying downwind as she followed the tracks of a deer. He kept close, arm brushing against hers as they caught sight of the deer. Nix breathed in and out slowly as she raised her bow, looking down the arrow once she’d drawn it back. She aimed for the neck, tracking it with the arrow before she let the arrow loose.

The deer reared back on its hind legs before it tried to limp off. Nix followed after it with Alden hot on her heels. She nocked another arrow in her bow, slowing to a stop as she drew back the bowstring, and shot the deer again. It collapsed and didn’t get back up again.

“Impressive,” Alden said, and the two walked over to the deer. Nix took out the arrows from the deer’s neck and slit its throat to end its pain and misery.

Want to carry it back?

Alden shrugged a shoulder before he bent down to pick it up, hefting it over his shoulders. The two turned and made the slow trek back to Hilltop. They’d caught some squirrels along the way, and Nix would skin and gut them when they got back. Someone probably knew how to do the same thing in Hilltop, but Nix wanted to prove her worth, bringing back food for the community.

“You took the deer down pretty quick, and you’re a good teacher. I can already feel and hear the difference.” Nix had told Alden how to walk quietly in the forest, to make his footsteps quiet, how to make sure that limited noise was made. He had been quick and eager to learn and had paid attention to Nix. He didn’t belittle her or disregard what she had to say about how he moved around the forest.

They made their way back to Hilltop and were welcome back into the community. Alden dropped the deer at a station, and Nix went to work on it, skinning and gutting it. They could dry the meat to make it last longer, take it to the Fair. Or eat it along the way.

Alden watched her work on the deer, as the blood reached up to her elbows. She was wearing a men’s tank top, black like her jeans and boots, so her arms were exposed, the tan on her skin still contrasting to the blood reaching her elbows. Nix didn’t mind that he was watching her do what she did best. He must’ve had some free time, and maybe wanted to learn a new skill. Nix ignored how other thoughts popped up, very Luke-like in the teasing sense of maybe he wanted to check her out instead. It felt very Luke-ish, those thoughts, and she wondered what Luke’s voice was like. She wished she knew, wished she knew what Alden’s voice sounded like too.

Others occasionally looked over at the two, and Nix kept her attention mostly on the deer, with the odd moment it would be on Alden, who would either say something or smile at her in a way she didn’t quite understand. She found herself welcoming it though, curious about Alden and what came with him.

Luke came by and plonked himself beside Nix on the log, and helpfully acted as translator when needed.

‘You making some friends?’

‘Yes. Why?’

Luke offered a smile. ‘I need your help.’

Nix sat back, squinting at him. ‘Why?’

‘I need a pianist when we go to the Fair,’ he signed, speaking along.

Nix frowned at him, and she saw Alden laugh out of the corner of her eye. ‘I’m out of practice.’

‘There’s a piano in Maggie’s old office. I asked Jesus and he said we can use it. He seemed very excited at the idea of seeing you play piano.’

There was an unimpressed look on Nix’s face. ‘What makes you think I want to play?’

‘Please,’ Luke all but begged. ‘I want to try and get a three-person band,’ he signed, then gestured to the three of them. ‘You know you’re still good with piano. I just need your help persuading Alden here.’

Nix didn’t understand why he needed her help. She shook her head at him, scoffing before she returned her attention to the deer; it was almost done. Beside her, Luke shook his hands up to the air, probably cursing her as Alden laughed at their interactions. The two men continued talking until Nix had finished up with the deer and its meat, sending it off to the cooks who would deal with it for her.

She grabbed a wet rag and wiped at her bloody arms.

‘Please?’ Luke asked. ‘At least play the piano for Jesus. I’ll even play with you?’

‘In the Hall of the Mountain King?’ she asked, and Luke laughed, shaking her head. ‘Chopsticks?’

Luke laughed even more. Alden seemed pleasantly confused, and Luke filled him in.

“You can actually play the piano?”

Nix nodded. ‘He taught me,’ she signed to him, and threw the rag onto the log she had been sat on, arms still stained a little bit red, but not so much as before she tried to clean them. ‘Shall we go?’

 


 

 

Nix looked at the paper in front of her Chopin – Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 in E Flat Major. So it was one of the classics, one of the first proper pieces Luke had taught her. At least it wasn’t Für Elise; she had gotten sick of the beginning of it with the amount of times she had practised it back in Jones Springs. She was sat at the piano in Maggie’s old office and was getting used to playing again. Luke and Alden had joined her and had even been accompanied by Magna. She played for them, and concentrated on the notes, trying not to mess up as she made her way through the piece. She finished up, and the others applauded her.

She smiled and saw the soft look on Alden’s face and looked away from him, not quite sure what it meant and what it could mean. Nix looked to Luke and raised an eyebrow at him. He gave her a dark grin as he pulled out some more sheet music. She peered at the name and groaned: Piano Sonata No. 14 In C Sharp Minor – she stopped reading the title. It was Beethoven. She took the paper out of Luke’s hands, and cracked her fingers before she started playing it at the tempo she preferred. She was still new to the piano, even after all these years, and this was a hard piece for her, but she loved it when she managed to go over the keys of the piano correctly.

She loved how the music felt. She liked to imagine what the sound was like, feeling how it reverberated in her bones, in her chest. But oh did she hate the classics, Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart and the lot for their skill in writing such good music. Though she found it hard learning piano, it had been a skill she had liked to learn, for pleasure and enjoyment instead of for survival.

Secretly, she clung to the idea of the piano and what the music must sound like, eager for something that wasn’t blood and death and loss and fear.

Luke soon joined her on the piano, and they improvised with each other. It was hard trying to improvise sounds whilst deaf, but Nix knew how Luke worked, where the improvisation would lead. It was fun playing with Luke, watching their hands move around the piano, arms going under each other’s in an attempt to get to the right notes that they wanted.

It reminded Nix of times where it hadn’t been so bad in the apocalypse, where things had felt alright, and she had good people by her side. It also reminded her of what had followed after, and the long years of not being able to play the piano. But she was safe at Hilltop in a way that she hadn’t been safe in Jones Springs or Coalport.

God, she knew how excited Hazel would’ve been if she had seen Hilltop and what it had to show to them. Nix wondered what Hazel would’ve said and done upon seeing the community, seeing the group that Nix had once known. Nix missed Hazel. She had left a very Hazel sized hole in Nix’s heart, and she knew that there was no way that hole would ever heal itself.

Chapter 13: The Kingdom's Fair

Chapter Text

Staying at the Hilltop was nice. Nix managed to get along with most people who talked to her. She mostly hung around Enid and Alden, who were both nice enough to let her chill with them. Kelly was still annoyed with Nix and wasn’t exactly talking to her. Nix understood. It wasn’t easy, knowing that Connie was out there, and they were still in Hilltop. But they had to live with the choice that Connie had made.

Nix knew Connie was more than capable, was good when it came to dealing with walkers. Hell, she was even with Sophia and Daryl, so Nix knew she was more than safe with those two.

A few days passed, and Nix found herself getting close and friendly with Enid and Alden. Neither of them were particularly good with sign language, but they were doing their best to learn it for her sake. Jesus also brought out his American Sign Language book, and revisited the old thing, trying to remember what he’d forgotten. Nix rather liked that they were taking the time out to learn how to talk to her, and it let her know just how good Hilltop was; the people at Jones Springs and Coalport had never done that for her. At Hilltop, the leader was learning sign language just so he could talk to the deaf people in his community.

Nix had taken up watch with Enid, and it was nice and peaceful. Nix liked Enid; she was smart and wicked funny when she wanted to be. She was skilled as the resident doctor of Hilltop, and Nix wondered who she had learned from, and who had been her predecessors – not that she’d ever ask. Talking about lost ones was often hard to do.

Enid waved down at the gates, and Nix frowned and followed her gaze; a woman wearing a green dress and had long blonde hair must have said something to her. The two waved to each other before the woman’s wagon left Hilltop. Nix watched the wagon trot along until it was out of sight.

Who’s she? Nix wrote on her notepad, holding it out to Enid.

‘Hilde,’ Enid told her. ‘And her … husband Miles.’ Enid gestured outwards. “They’re going to the Fair. I’m going too with the next delegation. Are you?”

Nix shrugged. ‘Might as well.’

Enid laughed, nodding her head. “I think you’ll like the Kingdom. King Ezekiel is … definitely something, even after all these years. Carol married him a few years ago, so Sophia’s considered the princess there.”

King?

Enid nodded, an amused look on her face. “King of the Kingdom. Makes sense, right?” Nix nodded, wondering just what type of person King Ezekiel was, what show he had put on for his people for all these years.

 


 

 

Nix climbed into the wagon with Luke, Alden and Enid. Magna, Yumiko and Kelly were in their own wagon that was already leaving the Hilltop. The third wagon held Tara and some of the other Hilltoppers, Tammy Rose and Earl who had taken in the baby Nix had saved; Eduardo and Kal, who were the men who tended to watch the walls on the posts. There were three kids, around Henry’s age too. Luke gave Nix a pleasant smile as she sat down beside him, signing to him about the piano at the Kingdom, and if he was really sure they were going to perform. Performing in front of people made Nix nervous; she couldn’t hear the notes she played, and she mostly played for herself and Luke (plus some lucky friends on occasion). She was nervous for if Luke really wanted to go through with it.

‘I can try and persuade Alden to sing with us if that’ll help,’ Luke offered, and Nix glanced over at Alden, surprised at the information that he could sing.

‘What makes you think he’ll agree?’ Nix asked, gesturing towards Alden. Alden looked over at her, confusion etched in his face.

“What?” he asked her, and she pulled out her notepad once more.

Perform with us or else.

“Or else what?”

You’ll find out if you don’t perform.

Alden read over the words and laughed. “Give me a little time to think it over. Don’t know if I want to outshine the pair of you or not.” He grinned at her, and she gaped at him before whacking his arm with her notepad.

Their small group continued to talk as the wagon trundled along to the Kingdom. The weather was getting colder, and it was starting to show. Nix pulled her jacket closer around her, feeling the cooling air bite at her skin.

It took several long hours of travelling before they had to call it a night, holing up in a cottage. They would set off in the morning. Until then, Nix and Luke found themselves teaching Enid and Alden some sign. It was fun teaching them and seeing them learn it quick enough to hold easy conversations. It made something warm light up inside Nix, knowing that they were putting in the effort for her. She didn’t want that effort to go to waste.

In the morning, they set off for the Kingdom once more after a quick breakfast. Nix felt a little bit fatigued and tried to rest beside Luke for the remainder of the trip. It was chilly, but Nix kept her jacket pulled around her, hood pulled up over her head. Her hair was long now, down past a few of her ribs, and it kept her ears and neck warm. She knew she had to get it cut soon; long hair was a dangerous thing to have in the end of the world.

Luke woke her up when the wagons came to a stop. Nix looked around to see their path had been blocked off by a fallen tree. Nix climbed out of the wagon and followed Magna and Tara, hands on her knives as she looked at the tree, following it to the base.

‘It’s been cut,’ she signed to Magna, pointing to it. Magna verbalised what Nix had told her, and Tara turned to look at her. Tara came to stand beside her, eyeing up the tree stump, nodding her head.

“OK, we got to get the road clear before Jesus’ convoy meets up with us.” Tara said, looking at the others. Nix glanced around, not trusting this. It could easily have been the Whisperers blocking their way to the Kingdom.

“We’ll set up a perimeter,” Yumiko said, signing along so Nix could catch what she was saying. Tara nodded at Yumiko’s words.

Nix started to help the men move bits of the tree aside, and Nix kept glancing around into the forests on either side of the road, trying to keep an eye out for walkers or Whisperers. They were out in the open, exposed, and Nix knew they had to be careful. She turned her attention onto Kal and helped him lift up a heavier part of the fallen tree. Eduardo and one of the other guards helped, and they started to lift it away onto the grass.

They each hauled and chopped at the wood. Alden took control of chopping, organising the others to help lighten the load and make it easier. He handed out axes to people, and Nix kept her distance of their swings. She threw tree branches to the side, ducking under other people’s arms. Enid had gone to the back of their convoy, talking to Earl and Tammy Rose, checking in on the baby. Nix wondered what they were going to do with the baby if they were going to keep it or give it to someone else. She wondered if the baby had even been named yet.

Alden nudged her, and she looked over at him, frowning at him. ‘What?’

“You doing OK?” Nix nodded at his question, glancing around their surroundings. She pulled out her notepad and pen.

Something’s off about this. Someone cut
that tree. Why?

Alden read over the note and shrugged a shoulder. “What do you think it is?”

Nix frowned a little, looking around at the others.

It can’t be the Whisperers. They don’t know
about the Kingdom. Another threat?

“Could be,” Alden said. “There’s always people around the corner.” He looked around and said something to Tara. She frowned at him then nodded, conceding whatever his point was.

It wasn’t long before Yumiko and Magna came jogging back to them.

‘Sickos coming this way,’ Yumiko signed to Nix as Magna called out to Tara to inform the others.

Nix pocketed her notepad and pen and pulled her bow off from around her back and looked at Alden, a frown on her face as she held a fist in front of her face and pulled it down, mimicking pulling down a mask.

“It could be. Watch their hands.”

The others had come to the same conclusion, each one of them preparing to fight the dead and possible skin freaks. Tara said something to Earl from his spot on the last wagon of the convoy, and he got down and tended to the horses, hitching them.

Enid stayed behind with the kids Henry’s age as Tara shouted out commands. Alden led Nix forwards to the dead. Nix nocked an arrow on her bow as they walked forwards. There were more than ten of the dead. Nix drew her bowstring back, anchoring to her face and shot at one of the walkers. She shot at the walkers that got too close to the people around them and was aware that there were more walkers than them.

She looked around to where Tammy Rose and Earl were and saw in the distance a group of riders coming to their rescue, taking out the walkers near their convoy. The leader and Tara spoke, and Nix concentrated on shooting the walkers that got too close for comfort. Nix looked around and drew her bowstring back again and shot at a walker that had tried to sneak up behind Enid. She turned and watched the walker fall and nodded her thanks to her.

The threat of the dead was soon over for the time being, and Nix started to collect hers and Yumiko’s arrows, wondering who the hell their saviours were. When she returned to the others, handing over Yumiko’s arrows, she gestured to the newcomers with a frown on her face.

‘Highwaymen. They’re our escorts to the Fair.’

‘Highwaymen?’

Yumiko frowned as she listened in on the conversation the leader of the Highwaymen and Tara was having. ‘They made a deal with King Ezekiel. They control these roads, lead us to safety and they … get to watch a movie.’

‘A movie?’ Nix asked, surprised that those were even a thing anymore. Yumiko nodded, an amused look on her face as she looked at Nix. Yumiko smiled a little and then slung an arm around Nix’s shoulders, leading her back to the others at the convoy.

So they had an escort to the Fair. How fancy.

 


 

 

Nix watched as the Kingdom came into view. Nix could tell that the Kingdom wasn’t doing so well, just by the look of the walls. She wondered how desperate the people were, needing the Fair to become a reality. The gates of the Kingdom opened, and then the wagon came to a stop. Nix and the others clambered out of the wagon, and Nix looked around the surrounding area as Magna’s wagon entered the Kingdom.

It looked alright, maybe needed a few licks of paint and some serious love and TLC. But Nix liked how the Kingdom looked – rustic, old fashioned. They helped unload their food and goods for the trades going off within the Fair. Kelly passed down the crates to Nix, who handed them off to Tara. Tara dropped it off and Carol hugged and Ezekiel when they approached, whilst Tammy Rose went and talked with a couple, holding the baby in her arms.

Alden and Enid lead the way further into the Kingdom, where they could see stalls being set up, full of things to trade. It reminded Nix of Jones Springs and the trading stalls that they used to have. Nix forced the memories of Jones Springs to the back of her mind and shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. She followed their group as they roamed throughout the Kingdom, exploring the area.

They got to a main area, and Nix could see Ezekiel standing on the balcony of the Post Theatre. Nix frowned as she looked at the statue of a tiger and looked to Enid with a frown on her face.

“He used to have a real life tiger before we were in a war.”

Nix wasn’t sure if she ought to believe Enid or not, but from the look on Alden’s face beside her, she had been telling the truth. She looked back to Ezekiel and watched as he spoke out to the crowd. Below him was a man who Enid had said was called Jerry. He was a big man with a bright beaming smile on his face. Nix hadn’t spoken to him, but he was already one of her favourite people.

Ezekiel kept talking, and Nix wished she knew what they were talking about. Jerry stepped up to a kid who looked like him and said something before opening up a cage that held some birds that flew off into the sky. Nix looked around and made her way over to Kelly, who had looked far too tense for Nix’s liking.

‘Connie’s going to be OK.’ Nix signed to her.

‘I know. But I want to go out to find her. She’s with your dad too,’ Kelly looked to the others. “Are we going or what? My sister’s out there somewhere,”

“No, she’s not,”

Nix looked to the gates, and a smile stretched over her face as she watched a lone wagon pull into the Kingdom. Inside the wagon were Rick, Carl, Michonne, Judith, Connie, Daryl, Henry, Sophia, and Lydia. They all looked a little cramped inside, but they had arrived.

Kelly ran to her sister before Connie had even gotten out of the wagon, and they were hugging. Nix made her own way over and pulled Daryl into a hug. She had missed him, and knowing he’d been alive out there had hurt more than she had let on. She was glad that he was back with her and inside somewhere safe.

‘Good to see you,’ Nix signed to Rick and Carl. Carl grinned at her before hugging her. Nix watched over Carl’s shoulder as Luke, Yumiko, and Magna each took their turn to hug Connie. Nix pulled away from Carl and gave Rick a brief hug before going over to hug Connie.

‘We got the girl back. Your dad was easier to convince than you were when it came to rice pudding.’ Connie told her.

Nix groaned. ‘Rice pudding is disgusting!’ Connie smiled a little, and they turned their attention onto the others.

Ezekiel spoke to Rick and Michonne, and Nix could see the way Carol teared up at seeing Judith. Nix looked around and saw Tara glare at Lydia before talking to Daryl. Michonne spoke to the others before they walked off. A man embraced Sophia in a tight hug, and she grinned as she returned it. “The princess has returned once more!” he said enthusiastically, and Nix could see the blush on Sophia’s face before she turned to Enid and gave her all of her attention.

‘Stay, make some friends,’ Daryl told Nix. ‘I’ll be back soon.’ Daryl gave her a pointed look before he followed Rick and the others to go for a private meeting.

Connie and Kelly walked off together, and Nix found herself beside Luke, just the two of them. They set off around the Fair, looking at everyone and everything. It was fun, seeing how people interacted. Eugene was on the dunking seat, Earl and Tammy Rose and Alden were trading blacksmithing stuff, the weapons that they had made. They stopped by Siddiq and Enid’s stall where people were learning CPR.

They eventually regrouped with Alden, Enid and Sophia once Luke had gotten his guitar, and they went and found some stall that made candy apples. Sophia and Alden got some candy apples, and Sophia gave one to Enid whilst Alden gave one to Nix. The two ignored the look Sophia gave them. She whispered something in Enid’s ear, and Enid laughed.

‘I know that I technically lost our bet,’ Luke signed, talking to Alden. He always signed along to what he said just to make sure Nix understood the context of the conversation and felt included. Their small group walked through the crowd of the Kingdom.

“I mean, there was nothing technical about it, you just lost.”

‘But I did threaten you, so you have to play with us,’ Nix signed, and Luke translated. Nix grinned at Alden when he laughed, a surprised look on his face. She licked at the candy apple, liking the sweet taste of it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had one. She could faintly remember Merle telling her a rude story about having one shoved up his ass when he’d been as high as a kite one Halloween night. She grimaced as the memory popped into mind.

‘Will you please make him see reason?’ Luke asked of the three women.

‘I’m not performing if he won’t,’ Nix signed, then shrugged a shoulder at Luke when he looked aghast. ‘What? I don’t like performing.’

“Make her see reason too,” Luke said to the others once he’d told them what Nix had signed.

“We don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Sophia said, slinging an arm around Enid’s shoulders.

‘I’m playing guitar before the movie tonight. I thought I’d convinced Nix to play piano with me so it would be “A Night with Luke and Nix” but I wanted it to be “A Night with Luke and Friends”. Get it?’

Enid and Sophia laughed, reaching out to shove Nix and Alden’s arms. “Come on, you have to do it.” Enid said.

“I didn’t know you could even play piano,” Sophia said, eyebrows raised in surprise as she looked at Nix.

‘He taught me,’ she signed, gesturing to Luke.

“You have to accompany them,” Enid was saying to Alden. “You’re doing this. We haven’t heard you sing in a while.”

Sophia leaned over and said something quick, and Enid laughed while Alden started to blush. Nix looked to Luke, who had an amused look on his face. ‘Sophia said Alden should croon for you,’

‘I don’t even know what that means.’

“As adorable as you are, could we get back to the task at hand here?” Luke asked.

“Right, sorry. He lost the best.”

“Forget the bet – the bet was confusing,” Luke said, dismissing Alden. “I-it’s a wash. They want to hear you sing. I can tell they do. And if you go up there and sing, Nix will be there to play piano to back us up. It won’t just be us.”

Nix offered Alden a smile when he looked over at her. ‘I can play Piano Man if you’re desperate,’ she signed, and Alden managed to catch what she’d told him. He’d learned a lot of sign over their travelling and was proving to be quick to pick it up. He’d be an expert in no time.

“Sing for them!” Luke said, looking like he was trying to make it a tune. Nix rolled her eyes at him and followed after Alden, glancing over her shoulder to wave at Connie and Kelly as she passed them.

“Is he always like that?” Enid asked.

‘He’s crazy,’ she signed, mouthing along so Enid could understand.

‘Crazy?’ she repeated, an amused smile on her face. Nix nodded, and Enid laughed. “I like that sign.”

 


 

 

Nix and the others had finished up their candy apples. She’d found out that Magna and Yumiko were going to go back to Hilltop because of the dangers that the Whisperers possessed. They’d been quick to come say their goodbyes, and Nix had nodded, understanding that they wanted to do their bit. Nix had a promise to uphold to Luke, to perform with him and Alden. Nix hadn’t wanted to see them off. It hurt knowing that they were going in the first place. But they did what they had to do. None of it was fair, especially with the threat the Whisperers hung over their heads. For now, Nix tried to enjoy the Fair.

Luke met back up with them when the others had left. He led them to the stage where they would be performing later, and sure enough, Nix spotted the piano up there. Luke and Alden were stood up there, arguing. Connie and Kelly had joined them, interested to see how things would go down. Nix was standing beside Enid and Sophia, not wanting to go up onto the stage until she had to.

“You want to start with a mid-tempo ballad, man?” Luke asked, and Nix shook her head. Of course this was the type of argument that they’d get into. She had to expect it, it was Luke after all.

“Why not?”

“These people need hope. They demand it. No, no, no, they deserve it.”

Alden looked down at the women, flashing a grin at Nix. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

‘Don’t worry, I’ll join you up there so we can suffer together,’ Nix signed to him, slow enough for him to understand what the signs meant. Alden nodded, though looked a little unsure.

Sophia grinned. “We promise to only tease you about it a tiny bit for the rest of our lives,”

Nix shook her head at her, amused that she was so willing to tease Alden about it. Nix looked at Luke, who gestured for her to join them on the stage, and she shook her head.

‘I need the bathroom.’

“I’ll show you where the nearest toilets are,” Enid said, catching the sign for bathroom. She looped her arm through Nix’s. “I can’t wait for your performance, guys!”

Enid led the way to one of the buildings, a smile on her face as she spoke to Nix, talking about her time as the doctor of Hilltop. She showed Nix the way into the bathroom in the building, and Nix went inside, doing her business. She finished up quick and took a moment to try and calm herself down. She felt nervous about performing, especially to a crowd that could hear what she couldn’t.

She just had to be confident and try to fuck up as little as possible. She looked in the bathroom mirror and washed her face, trying to calm down. She could do this. She stepped out of the bathroom and looked to Enid.

“You just did that to avoid performing, didn’t you?” Enid said, and Nix laughed, nodding her head. “Come on, let’s go,”

They made their way through the Kingdom, almost back to the others when Nix noticed something suspicious. A person jerked out of view, and Nix could’ve sworn she saw dead skin. She came to a stop, watching the space the person had vanished in, and she clenched her jaw as she pulled out her knife.

“See something?” Enid asked, and Nix nodded. She mimicked the sign from earlier, a fist in front of her face, going down like pulling down a mask. Enid caught on quick, tension in her features as she let Nix lead the way to whatever it was she had spotted.

The two women held their knives tightly, rounding the corner.

There were three skin freaks. Nix acted without thinking, throwing her knife at one of them, pulling out the other knife as she tried to stop the second one from attacking her. Enid was struggling with the third one and stumbled backwards.

Nix slashed at the second Whisperer and looked at Enid. ‘Go!’ she signed urgently, turning to look back at the two Whisperers. Enid ran forwards and Nix went to do the same, and she gasped when she felt the cold hand grab her hair and pull her back. She twisted around, trying to get her footing, but then a fist collided with her face, and her sight darkened. She saw Enid’s panicked face before she blacked out, the hit too hard on her head. Her last thoughts were hoping that Enid had gotten away in time.

 


 

 

When Nix came to, she found that her hands had been bound behind her back, and all of her weapons had been taken from her. Nix looked around and felt her heart leap out of her chest when she saw what she thought were walkers. It took her a second to realise that they were Whisperers. Nix felt her heart beat hard in her chest. Her head hurt and she felt dizzy, but that was the last thing on her mind as she looked at the scene in front of her.

Was she going to die today? She’d barely had her father back a week, and she was going to die.

She looked to her left and saw Enid there. There were a few others – mostly Hilltoppers and some woman that Nix didn’t recognise. Siddiq was there too, as was Henry.

Nix felt her mouth run dry as she assessed the situation. She didn’t think it was likely that they’d get out of the barn they were in unscathed. She had to try though. She leaned back against the wall, fingers trailing along until she felt something sharp. Nix started to rub her bindings against the sharp object.

Nix looked to Enid, who looked like she was masking her fear. She looked around and turned to look at Nix. “It’s Alpha,” she said clearly, then frowned as she looked up at someone. “Nix is fucking deaf! Leave her alone.”

Someone grabbed Nix and pointed a knife at her eye. She could feel the way they spoke, breath fanning over her face, but she couldn’t hear them, couldn’t tell what they were saying underneath the mask. She kept her face neutral, calm and collected. She had dealt with Silas; she could deal with this freak.

The person spat on her clothes and shoved her back into the wall. A bald woman walked forwards, and Nix recognised her as the blonde woman from earlier. That had to be Alpha. She spoke, and Nix couldn’t tell what she was saying. She continued to rip at her bindings, trying to be subtle about it.

Alpha pointed to Siddiq, who was dragged forwards, but then several men came running into the barn, waving their machetes and melee weapons. Nix recognised two of them as the Highwaymen that had escorted them to the Kingdom.

Nix and Enid took their chance, breaking free of their bindings, backs pressed together as they looked at the Whisperers cornering them. Nix punched and scratched and kicked at the Whisperers, doing her best to take the Whisperer down. Nix punched at a second one as Enid took one down. The others had broken free of their bindings too, and put up a fight, grabbing glass and shards sharp enough to do damage to the Whisperers that crept towards them.

Their fight against the Whisperers didn’t last long. Their bindings were put back on, and Nix felt the tension run through her back as her fingers went to the bindings, trying to loosen it. The men who came to save them were killed first, brutally; bodies cut up before their heads were torn off. She didn’t know who the men were, but they had tried to save her and the others, had done their best to save them. She couldn’t let their deaths be in vain. Siddiq was pulled up to the front, made to watch as the others were pulled up in front of him. Nix couldn’t look away as Alpha cut their would-be saviours heads off in two fell swoops.

Tara was killed, head partially cut off, and Alpha cut at her neck several more times before Tara’s head fell from her shoulders, then the man, DJ from Alexandria, was dragged forwards. She shoved the machete through the back of the man’s neck, then pulled it through one side, and held his hair on the top of his head to cut off the piece of neck that kept his head connected to his body.

The ginger woman was next, and she barely had time to kneel before Alpha before the machete sliced through her neck. Blood had splattered outwards, covering Nix and Enid. The two kids around Henry’s age were next, and Nix couldn’t look away as the boy begged for Alpha to stop, for this to end. Alpha had stared down at him, merciless before she swung, cutting his head off, letting it roll to the side.

The girl had been quiet, composed as she kneeled down in front of Alpha. Her hands shook and tears were in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall as she stared ahead of herself. Alpha made quick work of her.

Henry was next, and Nix didn’t know what she could do to try and save him. Henry kept talking to Alpha, possibly talking about Lydia, and what this would do to her, what killing them was going to do to the communities. Alpha had pushed him forwards, down onto his knees. Henry looked at the two women on the side, and he said something to Enid, maybe something about Sophia and his mom, but then Alpha swung her machete, and Henry’s head rolled towards Siddiq’s feet.

Alpha turned towards Nix, and she grabbed her by her bound hands. Nix’s chest felt like it was about to explode, and she bit down on her gag as she broke her bindings as Alpha tried to grab her. She caught her hair and pulled her back, and Nix turned with the move and kicked out Alpha’s knee. She then kicked at Alpha's hand. The machete dropped and Nix caught it, getting to her feet in a fluid motion. A skin mask tried to attack her, but she was quick to cut his throat with the machete, head almost completely taken off. She took his gun and pointed it to the others, shooting at them.

Enid broke free of her bindings and was quick to crawl over to Nix, taking some weapons from the skin freaks that had died.

Most everyone was gone. It was just Enid, Tammy Rose and Siddiq left. Nix could hardly believe what she had witnessed. The amount of people that had been killed, slaughtered like animals.

Nix ran out of bullets. She dropped the gun and held the machete firmly. Enid was by her side, hand in hers as they looked at Alpha, who had recovered, looking angry that Nix had managed to break free. The woman said something, and whatever it was, it had Enid dragging Nix out of the farmhouse. They started to run, and Nix glanced behind her to see the skin masks watching them, gearing themselves up.

So they were going to be hunted.

Nix didn't let go of Enid's hand as they ran through the forest. They couldn't stop. They had to keep moving. Nix could feel her heart up in her throat, and she knew that they would have to fight the skin freaks to survive. They were going to get out of there alive, Nix was going to make sure of it.

They came to a clearing of sorts, and they slowed down, looking at each other through panted breaths.

"They're going to kill us," Enid said.

'We won't let them.'

Nix and Enid pressed their backs together as they prepared for the onslaught. Skin freaks rushed them, and then the two women were dodging and ducking, moving swiftly together. They had never practised defence together, had barely known each other for a week, but there they were, fighting to protect each other. Nix would lay down her life for Enid if she had to, and she was more than willing to do it if the day called for it. Nix didn’t want Sophia to lose another person today; she had already lost her brother; Nix didn’t want Sophia to lose her girlfriend in the same night.

Nix slashed and stabbed at the skin freaks, taking three on at once whilst Enid took on two. It had been easier than Nix had expected, taking the Whisperers down. She stabbed and stabbed and stabbed, forcing mortal wounds on the bastards that had dared to take them away from their friends and family.

Once they were all down, bleeding to death, Nix grabbed Enid’s hand and the two of them ran as fast as they could. Nix didn’t stop running, not even when her chest burned with pain and she couldn’t breathe properly. She held onto Enid’s hand as tightly as possible, pulling her along. She didn’t want to even think about risking losing Enid, scared that thinking it would bring it into fruition.

They fell to their knees in front of the gates of the Kingdom, wheezing and gasping for breath. Enid looked up at the gates, screaming bloody murder for the damn gates to be opened up. It took several moments before the gates were opened, and Enid dragged Nix to her feet as they stumbled towards the gates.

Sophia and Daryl rushed towards them as they made it through the gates that shut behind them. Sophia let Enid go into her arms as Daryl pulled Nix into a rough hug, ignoring the blood that covered their clothes and faces.

'What happened?' Daryl asked, pulling away from Nix to ask the question.

'Alpha. She took us with the skin masks. They ... they tried to kill us. Siddiq was made to watch. We broke free. Ran,' she signed, and she couldn't believe how hard she was shaking. 'They followed us, and we killed them. They took people, and Alpha cut ... she decapitated them,'

Daryl chewed on his lower lip, nodding at her signs. 'We saw. They kept Siddiq alive,'

'He's back?'

Daryl nodded, then looked over to Sophia and Enid, telling them that Siddiq had been allowed to live. Enid looked to Nix, a horrified look on her face before they were led to where Siddiq was being treated in the Kingdom's infirmary.

Siddiq jumped to his feet, ignoring the doctor who had been treating him, and then he pulled the two women into a tight hug. Nix could feel him talking as he held onto them, and she could feel the way his entire body shook. It took a long moment before he pulled away from them, and Nix could see the tears staining the man's face, the horror lingering in his eyes. She wondered if hers and Enid’s expressions matched his.

'I thought you'd be dead,' Nix signed, staring at Siddiq with wide eyes.

"No. Alpha sent her people after you, I thought you both died out there,"

Enid shook her head, looking to Nix. "We got each of those bastards. She saved my life."

Luke appeared on their right, followed by Alden. Nix went into his arms, gripping him tightly, hiding her face in his neck as her entire body shook. She could feel him talking, presumably to Daryl and the others. She felt the way he held onto her tighter when the news reached him.

Nix pulled away from him, an apologetic look on her face. ‘Sorry I missed the performance,’ she signed to him, then wiped at her eyes.

‘It doesn’t matter. Are you OK?’ he asked, eyes only on her, ignoring everyone else. ‘It’s alright if you aren’t.’

‘It was fucked up,’ she signed, trying to keep her breathing even. ‘More than messed up.’

Luke nodded, looking at her with something sincere in his face. ‘You’re alive, that’s what matters.’

Nix nodded but didn’t look at him quite in the eye. She looked back to the others and could see the way Enid and Siddiq were shaken up. Nix couldn’t look at them without seeing what Alpha had done to the others.

 


 

 

Nix, Siddiq and Enid were taken to the infirmary in the Kingdom, to be checked over for concussions or any other injuries. Daryl stayed by Nix’s side as the Kingdom doctor checked over Enid, having cleared Siddiq, making him wear some bandages over his head for his injuries.

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there,’ Daryl signed.

‘It’s not on you. I was with Enid. She’d heard a noise and I thought I’d spotted something, so we went to investigate it. We realised it was Alpha, and we tried to run. She grabbed me and took me out first.’ Nix looked away, feeling the way the tears pricked at her eyes. Daryl put a hand on her shoulder.

Nix hung her head, gripping the edge of the bed that she was sat on. She breathed in and out, slow and deeply, trying to stop herself from sobbing from what she had seen. She couldn’t deal with it, knowing that she had managed to survive, and had left Tammy Rose and Siddiq for dead. There had been no way to get the two out of there unharmed. Nix pressed her fingers to her eyes, breathing shakily as her composure started to slip. She felt the way her father’s grip on her shoulder tightened a little, and she looked at him through her fingers. He pulled her into his side, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. Nix looked down at her hands, and saw the blood dried there. She didn’t know whose blood it was.

The Kingdom doctor came and checked Nix over, finding that she had a concussion, and would have a bruise on her face from where Alpha had hit her hard enough to knock her out. She had some rope burns on her wrists from where she had done her best to break her bindings and had been given some cream for the burns. The doctor advised both Daryl and Luke to keep an eye on Nix in regard to her concussion, but other than that, she was physically fine.

They were brought outside, and Siddiq stepped up to the plate, talking to the people who had come to the Fair, talking about the people who they had lost, how they had fought. Nix stood beside Enid, who was pale, shaking. Sophia kept an arm around Enid, holding her close. It made Nix miss Hazel, made her wish she were there for her, was still alive.

Nix hung her head and crossed her arms over her chest, feeling small and insignificant. It wasn’t fair that she had lived whilst the others had been killed so brutally. She knew how lucky she and Enid were to have gotten away, but she wished that it hadn’t been the others who had died, that they had managed to escape too. She knew it wasn’t fair, wasn’t something easy to think about, to trade her life for another’s. She couldn’t change what had happened, and she had done her best to even get Enid out of there. Nix was thankful that Sophia hadn’t lost two of the closest people to her that day. She knew as hard as Nix’s death would’ve been, knowing that Enid and Henry had died alongside her could have been too much for Sophia.

Enid reached out for Nix’s hand, and she glanced over at her before she took hold of it. Both of their hands were shaking, still shaken up by the death and blood, the mercilessness that was Alpha. They looked back to Siddiq, who continued to talk to the crowd, and Nix could’ve sworn she saw him say her name and Enid’s.

Kelly sidled up beside Nix, translating. ‘He’s talking about you two leading the fight against the Whisperers. How you managed to break loose and managed to save Enid, did the hard thing because … because it was either run away or all die together. He accepted his death then and doesn’t blame you.’

Nix’s grip on Enid’s hand tightened as she started to sign, one handed. ‘But he’s still here. I could’ve saved Tammy Rose.’

Kelly shook her head. ‘You barely saved yourself and Enid. Tammy Rose died knowing you were taking Enid to safety. That’s one less life lost.’

Nix looked away, trying to breathe evenly as she conceded the point. Enid got to live with Sophia now, and her life hadn’t been cut short. Nix couldn’t have saved everyone, no matter how hard she wished that she could. Siddiq finished his speech, and Nix didn’t know if she wished she could’ve heard it or not. The crowd slowly started to disband, to move away. The three young women stayed in their spots. Enid’s grip on Nix’s hand was tight, and Sophia didn’t dare move, lest they start crying.

Daryl walked over to her. ‘Come on. You need to get some rest.’

Nix knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep, would have night terrors the way she’d had them about Silas. ‘We ended up in a place called Jones Springs. Me and Luke,’ she signed to him, hand slipping out of Enid’s hand. ‘I had a stalker there and he was my first kill. I wanted you with me the entire time, I knew you’d protect me. And then we finally found each other, and it still wasn’t enough, and me and Enid almost died. I still get nightmares about that stalker. What makes you think getting some rest will do anything about what we witnessed?’

Daryl looked at her, unsure of how to approach it. Nix knew she was treading a dangerous line, the one where it meant someone could die because of her if she wasn’t careful, if she went off the rails.

‘Whatever. It doesn’t matter.’ She turned around and walked off, the image of Henry’s head being sliced from his body playing in her mind. He had been too young to die, to die from something so brutal. She hated thinking about the way Alpha could have played with his head in his final moments, threatening to hurt his family.

Nix found a bench and sat down on it, slouching back. She pulled her hood up over her head and pressed her hands together in front of her face, almost like a prayer, and let the tips of her fingers touch her nose. The action reminded her of Shane in a way, and she didn’t want to think about him. She never knew what had happened to him. She didn’t want to know. She’d seen too much death in one day to learn about how another person died.

She sat forwards, elbows on her knees and pushed her palms up to her face, feeling the tremors trying to take over her body. Nix groaned, wishing that she’d stop feeling so close to crying all the time. She was tired of crying, feeling too full of emotions. Someone came and sat beside her on the bench, and she took her time peeling her hands from her face. When she looked over, she was glad that it was Luke there.

‘Come on, we can have a cry fest,’

Nix laughed a little, and some tears fell from her eyes. Luke pulled her into a hug, letting her cling to him and sob.

Chapter 14: Winter Storm

Chapter Text

The weather was turning colder with each passing day. Nix had turned twenty-four. The Kingdom was starting to break and fall apart. Nix and Enid and some others from Hilltop had yet to leave the Kingdom, the two of them apprehensive about leaving, after what Alpha had done. They’d thought they could survive the cold of winter, but the Kingdom hadn’t been able to take it.

Nix had tried to keep herself busy. She taught Enid, Sophia, Carl and Alden, alongside some others, sign language, with the help of Luke who translated and explained what the signs meant. Daryl had been keeping an eye on her and Lydia, who Nix hadn’t talked to properly. They’d bumped into each other, and Nix had tried to write down a sentence for her, but it turned out that Lydia couldn’t read. Daryl had been nearby and had helped them understand each other, but the conversation was stilted and rough.

But now, they were going to try and trek across the cold winter lands back to Hilltop. Rick, Michonne, Jesus and King Ezekiel had tried to plan the route. Everyone was bundled up in clothes to try and keep warm.

Nix walked beside Daryl and Lydia, following the large group. They were the last lot to try and return to Hilltop before the weather got more brutal. Nix knew that the journey wouldn’t be easy, would be harsh on them all, and she found she didn’t care. She had faced other hardships in winter, though none quite like this. She was glad that there were more people this time around, compared to when she and her group had trekked through the winter wastelands with nothing but two horses to pull their rig.

Alden was sat atop a horse, keeping up to pace with Nix, Lydia and Daryl. Nix looked at him to see him talking down to Lydia, an angry sort of expression on his face.

‘Stop,’ she signed at him. She tapped Lydia’s arm and when the girl looked at her, she offered a smile and pulled her away from Alden, onto her other side so that she was between Nix and Daryl. Nix raised an eyebrow at Alden, and he looked away from her. Nix looked over to the field they were passing and spotted some walkers roaming in it. They slowed down, watching the dead; everyone was on edge that the Whisperers could be watching them. Nix could draw her own conclusions, could guess that Alden asked if they were watching.

She didn’t understand why he was so angry; she had learned he had grown close to Tammy Rose and Earl Sutton, but it didn’t give him a free pass to snap at Lydia like that. It wasn’t fair on Lydia, and Nix hated seeing that. Beside Nix, Daryl and Lydia spoke to each other, something about protecting and not wanting to cause problems. Nix felt bad for Lydia, knowing that it couldn’t be easy for her, knowing what her mother had done, and how it had affected all of the communities.

‘You’re one of us,’ Nix signed to Lydia when she looked over at her. Daryl told her what the signs meant. ‘You’re not to blame for what happened. Fuck what everyone else thinks.’

“You were almost killed by my mom.”

‘I escaped. It’s not on you, don’t carry that weight.’

Lydia nodded and looked away; eyes cast to the road. Over her head, Daryl sent Nix a thankful nod. She nodded in return and turned her attention to the road. They had to keep walking, even as the snow slowly drifted down. Nix wondered if they’d even make the trip with how cold it would become once night fell.

The convoy continued to walk on the roads. Nix kept herself nearby Alden and his horse. Enid and Sophia were close behind, keeping close together. Carl was up at the front with his father, Michonne and Jesus. Nix didn’t know what they were talking about, and she knew they had to be talking about their communities and the security precautions that they would have to take. They were still indecisive on what to do for those security measures, and the leaders would have to return to their councils and give their advice to try and point them in the right direction. Nix didn’t envy Jesus and his job as leader.

‘Storm’s coming in soon,’ Nix signed to Alden when he glanced over at her. She gestured up at the sky, where the clouds were coming in, grey and full, ready to throw the heavens down on them. ‘Big one. We have to get to a way station soon.’

‘I know. We will.’ Alden signed back. He was good with sign language, picking it up well enough to talk to Nix without needing the notepad and pen anymore.

Their group walked across snowy footprints of a herd that had walked past recently. Nix didn’t like the looks of it, feeling tense as she thought about Alpha and her followers. Daryl and Carol shot some walkers, then Daryl and Ezekiel went to grab the bolt and arrow. Nix continued on walking but saw the way Lydia walked off. She frowned, then followed after her, following the tracks in the snow.

Nix held onto her bow tightly as she followed the footprints. She spotted Lydia in the distance kneeling down in front of something. Nix picked up the pace and saw her in front of a walker, partially frozen in a pond. Lydia pulled her sleeve up, arm outstretched towards the walker. Nix hit her bow against the tree closest to her, and Lydia jumped backwards at the sound, turning to look at her.

‘Don’t.’ she signed. She pointed to the ground next to her, a serious look on her face. She could see the tears in Lydia’s eyes as she slowly got to her feet. She walked over to Nix, whole body shaking. Nix put a hand on Lydia’s face, and the girl looked up at her. ‘You’ll be OK.’ She frowned and then looked behind her to see Sophia there. ‘Translate?’

Sophia sighed and walked over to them. Nix pulled off her gloves to sign better.

‘Losing Henry wasn’t your fault. He wouldn’t want you to die like this. Keep his memory alive by living and letting the memory live through you.’ Nix glanced over at Sophia, who managed to translate pretty well. They had gotten better experience with translating sign to each other over the past few weeks in the Kingdom together. She was as good as Alden was when it came to ASL.

Sophia put a hand on Lydia’s shoulder. “My brother cared about you. So I care about you too. All I see when I look at you is him, and I want you to keep him alive in some way. He’s in our hearts, so don’t let it go to waste.”

Lydia looked at the two before she looked away, nodding her head. Nix put her gloves back on and put an arm around Lydia’s shoulders, keeping her close as they returned to the convoy. The convoy had come to a stop, and the others were talking about how they couldn’t make it to the next way station in time.

‘Where are we going then?’ Nix asked, frowning at Daryl who was standing across from her in the group.

‘The Sanctuary.’

 


 

 

Nix followed her father into the factory building, bowstring drawn back, arrow anchored to her face as they moved in. Alden was behind her, flashlight held up so they could spot any potential threats. It was empty, aside from some furniture, pools of water, upturned boxes, and a dead, decaying walker near the entrance. It looked gross, uninhabited in a while. It was cold and there were holes where windows were supposed to be, but it would do for now.

Nix lowered her bow, bowstring no longer taut at full draw. She looked around the place, grimacing. ‘It’s ugly.’

‘It was hell.’ Daryl replied. The others came into the building, and Daryl started to light some fires in the barrels. Nix helped him, giving herself something to do. Once it was done, she found a spot for herself on the floor and sat there and pulled her knees up to her chest.

Her nose felt cold, and her eyes ached. The back of her head was starting to throb too, which was annoying as hell. She watched as people brought in the horses to keep them warm, tied up to the posts around the building. Enid approached her, a tired smile on her face, some food in hand. She crouched down beside Nix, coming to sit beside her. She held out some food, and Nix took it, signing her thanks. It was some dried deer meat. Nix pulled her gloves off, feeling the texture of the meat.

‘You looked lonely.’ Enid signed.

‘I am.’ Nix bit into the meat, thankful to have the taste as a distraction. ‘How are you holding up?’

Enid smiled a little, but it was sad and didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Better than you.’

Nix flipped her the bird. Enid laughed. ‘You’re not as funny as you think, Enid.’

The two sat in silence together, munching on their pitiful meal before the leaders and council members walked off to talk. Nix knew it had to be for their travelling, to try and find the shortest way home. Alden had gone with them, and Nix hadn’t realised he was a part of Hilltop’s council. She knew that Yumiko and Magna had stepped up to become members of the council, aiding Jesus since he had lost Tara as his second in command.

The meeting soon disbanded, and Alden found them. In that time, Sophia and Carl had joined the two women sat on the ground.

‘We’re going to go across the lakes and ponds to get back home.’ Alden informed them.

Nix frowned. ‘Won’t that mean we’ll go through Alpha’s territory?’

Alden nodded as he crouched beside her, talking to the others as he signed, ‘We have to risk it. We’re going at night so that they don’t see us.’

‘They could still see us. We just can’t tell the difference in the dark.’

Enid nudged her. ‘It’d be stupid for them to be out in the dark, in this cold weather. They have nothing but decayed skin to protect them from the cold. They’d die before they got back to Alpha to tell her.’

Nix nodded, conceding the point. She still didn’t like the idea of what they were going to do.

 


 

 

It had taken a while, but they had made it to one of the landmarks for the border. Nix came to a stop as she looked at the bloodied spikes. Her head could’ve been on there, so could Enid’s. They had been lucky to not join them, to have added two more spikes to the border. She looked up at them, feeling the dread roiling in her stomach. She couldn’t get herself to look away, her imagination tormenting her with what their decapitated heads must’ve looked like on there. A hand touched her arm, and she looked to see Carl there, a sympathetic look on his face. He pulled her forwards by her arm, and they set off walking again. Nix never wanted to go near the border again. She did her best not to look back, but the image was already ingrained in her mind. She breathed in and out slowly, aware that Carl was watching her with concern laced in his face.

She didn’t know what to do, what she could try and tell him that would appease him, make him less worried. Nix knew that she had seen horror in her life, but what Alpha did felt like it would never leave her skin.

Their large group continued walking through the snow in the dark. It was steadily getting worse. Eventually they came to a stop, and Nix couldn’t see why. They were moving again after a moment, and they passed three frozen walkers. She hadn’t seen the dead be incapacitated by the cold like this before, completely frozen in their spots, easy to take out. Their group continued to move and came to a frozen river.

Nix put a hand on the hilt of her knife, not trusting what she was seeing. More of the dead could be frozen underneath the ice or the snow. They had to be aware of any threats that could come their way. Nix looked down to her father, and saw a walker appear through the snow. She pointed to it and Alden alerted Daryl as more of the dead started to pull themselves out of the snow. Sophia and Enid turned so their backs were together as they prepared for the walkers. Rick and Carl teamed up, defending Michonne’s back as walkers made themselves known.

Alden stepped down to the banking, helping the others get down to it so they could cross the river safely. Nix watched as the crowd of people started to make their way down to the river, and Nix defended Alden’s back as walkers stalked towards her.

Nix took out her knife as she stomped on a walker’s head as it appeared in front of Alden. She held up her knife as the other people started to pass across the frozen river. Nix kept herself occupied by stomping on the heads of walkers when they poked their heads out. It reminded her of whack-a-mole. She stabbed at a walker that had crept up behind Alden, and he turned and nodded his thanks to her.

More of the dead started to appear, and Nix felt annoyed that their group wasn’t equipped to deal with the iced over walkers. One walker managed to break free of the snow and stumbled towards her. She kicked out its knee from under it and slammed her knife into the top of its head, yanking the blade out roughly once the walker had stopped moving.

Michonne made her way down towards the others as the remaining lot of people crossed the river. Nix followed her, and Alden reached out and took hold of her hand as they crossed the border together. Nix looked back and saw her father approaching with Carol and Lydia by his side. Nix felt relieved to see him OK. Alden tugged on her hand, and they clambered up the banking together, where everyone else was grouped.

Daryl and Jesus took control, leading the way back to Hilltop. Nix lingered around the back of the crowd, feeling uncomfortable that they were on Alpha’s land. She looked around, trying to see if she could spot any potential Whisperers in the distance. It was too snowy to tell, and she could barely see further than ten feet.

Alden tugged on her hand again, and she looked at him. He jerked his other hand in the direction of the others, and she nodded, letting him lead the way. Nix didn’t want to let go of his hand, and Alden didn’t seem to mind, holding her gloved hand tightly with his own. She wondered if he was worried she’d end up getting lost in the snowstorm they were in if he did; it was getting thicker and made it harder to see. Nix tried not to think about that, and kept herself close to him, able to see the others ahead of them. The weather soon started to die down, and the sun started to rise, slow and lazy on the horizon. It took a little while longer before Hilltop came into view. Nix glanced around and saw Carl look away from her when she looked his way. She frowned a little before she slipped her hand out of Alden’s, offering him a smile when he gave her a confused look.

There was a frozen walker outside of Hilltop’s gates. Nix watched as Daryl hit it with his crossbow and its head shattered. Alden and Jesus opened up the spiked gate for the others to able forwards towards the actual gated walls of the Hilltop. Carol, Yumiko and Magna led the way, and Nix followed behind Sophia and Enid, who were holding onto each other.

The two women led Nix away to their trailer, where they each showered and changed into warmer clothes. Nix was glad to be back at Hilltop and felt somewhat safer. She watched as Sophia settled down on the bed, a book in her hands. Her eyes didn’t move, staring at the pages blankly. She turned to look at Nix, glancing to the bathroom where Enid was. She was taking a while in there, and Nix had an inkling that she was crying in there, not wanting either of the two women to see.

‘Enid won’t talk to me.’ Sophia signed when Nix looked back over at her.

‘Why?’

Sophia shrugged. ‘I … I want to make sure she’s OK, after that night. She won’t tell me about it because of Henry.’

Nix frowned a little, trying to ignore the way the mention of Henry made her heart spike, heartrate picking up. ‘Maybe she thinks you want her to tell you how everything went down?’

‘I want her to trust me enough to talk about whatever happened. I want you to trust me like that.’

Nix got to her feet, shaking her head, trying to control her breathing. ‘I don’t want to tell you how it happened, how things went down when it came to Henry. Your heart will break either way.’

“I want to know if my brother suffered.”

Nix stared at Sophia, lost for words. She couldn’t tell her the way Alpha taunted Henry, all the awful things she must’ve said to him. As she looked at Sophia, the image of Henry’s head falling to the floor played in her mind’s eye, the fear that had been in Henry’s face mere seconds before he’d been decapitated. ‘You don’t.’ Nix turned around and left the trailer, slamming the door behind her.

She didn’t get very far; the weather was cold, and she was gasping for breath as hot tears streaked down her face. She leaned back against a trailer, hands on her knees as she tried to gasp for breath. Nix squeezed her eyes shut, but it made the images of Henry clearer, of Tammy Rose, Tara and everyone else. It was burned into her retinas, and it made her stomach churn. She felt like she was going to be sick, felt like the bile was rising in her throat, choking her but it wasn’t there.

A hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she flinched, fist coming up to punch at the person on reflex. Jesus didn’t quite manage to block the hit, which caught his cheekbone. Nix gasped, signing her apologies to him.

Jesus brushed it off and offered her a smile. ‘Let’s get you inside,’ he told her, gently steering her into a nearby trailer he had to be residing in. He shut the trailer door behind them and sat her at the small table. He reached over to the bed and pulled the blankets over, wrapping her in them. She felt like he was babying her a little, but she didn’t care. It was pushing thoughts of Henry and Sophia out of her mind.

Nix put her hands to her face, trying to compose herself. When she pulled her hands away, she spotted Jesus out of the corner of her eye at the small kitchenette, making something that smelled chocolatey. When he was finished, he turned around with two mugs in his hands, the steam spiralling up into the air lazily. He came and set the mugs down on the table, nudging one towards her. ‘Hot chocolate,’ he signed, sitting down opposite her. ‘What were you doing out there?’

Nix looked to the side, chewing on the inside of her mouth, fingers tapping on the table. ‘Sophia wanted to know what happened to Henry,’ she admitted, glancing at him. There was nothing more than a kind look on his face, no judgement tucked away in his features. Nix wondered how well he got on with her father, and if that kind face had been punched by the older Dixon – probably, Daryl was one for punching. ‘I don’t want to tell her how he suffered. I … I didn’t hear what Alpha said to him, Enid did. She has to live with knowing exactly how he was … hurt by her. All I saw was the way he reacted, begged.’ She folded her arms over her chest, sniffling as she looked away once more.

It was quiet between the two, and out of the corner of her eye, Nix could see Jesus taking the occasional sip from his mug of hot chocolate. After a while, when Nix felt like she could turn in his direction without bursting into tears, she reached out for her own hot chocolate and sipped at it. It brought back memories of her nights with Luke in Jones Springs, when things hadn’t been so bad, drinking hot chocolate together, talking about anything and nothing.

‘I know I can’t be blamed, but I feel guilty over not getting the others out, over not being able to save Henry.’ Nix admitted once she’d set the mug back onto the table. Jesus nodded his head a little, giving her room to continue to sign her problems to him. ‘I feel bad for not being able to save the Hilltop kids – Addy and Rodney. They had … so much life ahead of them. It wasn’t right.’

‘You were all put in an impossible situation. The fact that you and Enid got out alive is a miracle,’

Nix nodded her head. ‘I sometimes wish I could’ve traded places with Henry. Sophia … she deserves her family,’

‘What about your father? Doesn’t he deserve his?’

‘We found out we were alive, we found each other again, the odds in that are … phenomenal. I got to see him again, and I would’ve died knowing he was alive and had people who he cared about and loved. He was supposed to take care of Henry, and – I don’t know. I would’ve died for that kid. Didn’t even know him but I would’ve. To make sure Carol didn’t lose a kid, so that Sophia’s world didn’t break around her.’ Nothing was ever easy. Nix pulled the mug into her hands and drank from it once more, ignoring the tremors in her hands.

 


 

 

Part of their group settled inside of Maggie’s office, and Nix sat at the piano stool, admiring the paintings on the wall. Jerry was huddled with his kids and wife, talking with Ezekiel. Daryl was speaking with Lydia, something Nix couldn’t read from across the room before he walked over to Nix.

‘I’m going to take Lydia to Alexandria in the morning. Do you want to come with me?’

Nix glanced around the room, spotting Luke singing with Connie; Magna and Yumiko sat in the windowsill together. She looked back at Daryl, who seemed to know her answer. ‘Not in this weather. I … I want to be with the people I care about. I wish you would stay here. I get why you won’t.’

Daryl nodded. ‘I wish things turned out different, Nix,’

‘Me too.’ She offered a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

‘Luke told me you can play piano. He taught you,’

Nix nodded, glancing back at the closed piano. ‘Want me to play something for you?’ Daryl smiled a little before he nodded. ‘I was supposed to play at the Fair, with Luke and Alden. I guess I can make up for missing that now.’

She turned around on the stool and opened the piano, revealing the keys. She thought about it a little before she started to play Moonlight Sonata. It was perhaps a bit of a depressing sonata, but it was the first thing that came to mind that she knew how to play.

Daryl sat beside her, watching her fingers move over the keys. He kept his hands to himself, tucked away on his lap as he followed her movements. She improvised once she had finished before she started to play something that would sound happier: Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 11 in A Major. She followed that up by something softer sounding: Clair de Lune.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the pride in her father’s face as she played. Neither of them had expected her to learn how to do something like this when she had been younger, never mind do it without the sheet music in front of her. It was something that she liked about herself; she had learned to do it when it had felt like something impossible. Once she had finished the piece and tucked her hands under her arms, Daryl applauded her, and jerked his head to the others. Nix looked over her shoulder to see the others had started to applaud, and Jerry looked particularly happy.

“Can you teach my kids?” he asked, and Nix laughed.

‘Luke taught me,’ she signed to him, mouthing along. Jerry nodded, then turned his attention to Luke, who had a soft look on his face as he looked at Nix.

‘Beautiful music as ever,’ he signed, and Nix offered a smile.

 


 

 

‘Are you sure you want to stay here?’ Daryl asked of Nix.

She nodded her head, glancing over her shoulder to where she could see Luke and Alden talking. She looked back at her father, a sad smile on her face. ‘Yeah. I can’t leave them. Besides, I know where you’ll be and when the weather is warmer, I’ll visit. I just … it scared them, what happened. Luke cares. I can’t vanish on him,’

Daryl nodded, then pulled her into a hug. She held onto him tightly, hiding her face in his neck. She wished that he wouldn’t have to go, that he and Lydia could stay at Hilltop, but she understood how things could be, that life wasn’t easy. But this time, she knew where he would be, and would be able to join trading convoys to visit him. Things could be easier, at least they knew the other was alive.

Nix pulled away from her dad, and he smiled at her, a hand on her face for a brief moment before he stepped back from her.

‘Anyone gives you trouble, you send them my way.’

‘I know. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Daryl smiled at her, then turned around and made his way over to Lydia and the wagon they’d be travelling in. Nix offered a short wave to the girl when her eyes caught hers. Lydia returned it, a small smile on her face before she turned her attention onto Daryl. Rick and Carl came to bid Nix goodbye. Rick left Carl and Nix alone for a moment, going to talk to Daryl and Lydia.

‘You sure you want to stay here? There’s family in Alexandria.’

Nix smiled a little, huffing a laugh. ‘I’m sure,’ she signed, nodding her head. ‘I can’t leave Luke and the others just yet. Besides, after what happened … I can’t leave Enid alone. We can suffer through the aftermath together.’

Carl inclined his head in a nod. ‘I can just imagine the team up – Nix and Enid, the deadly duo.’

Nix rolled her eyes, but it kept her smile on her face. ‘You’re weird, Carl Grimes.’

‘And I’ll miss you.’

‘It’s a good job I’ll visit when the weather’s better. You can’t get rid of me that easy.’ Nix offered a hug, and Carl accepted. It felt a little different, hug a little tighter, the feeling of not wanting to let go hung around them. But Nix didn’t want to keep the others waiting on Carl. She pulled away from him and shooed him away back to his father. Carl laughed and waved her off before he turned and made his way to the wagon.

Sophia walked over to her, a mischievous look on her face. ‘Do my eyes deceive me or are you and Carl -?’

‘Sophia,’ Nix signed, an unamused look on her face. Sophia offered a bright smile, then slung her arm around Nix’s neck, planting a kiss to the side of her face.

“Oh, he’ll be jealous I got to kiss you before he could,” Sophia said, glancing in the direction of the retreating wagon convoy. She had a sly grin on her face, and Nix wondered how Sophia could even think to act the way she was with her brother only recently deceased.

Nix resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she pushed Sophia’s arm off her, deciding to go along with it for now; she hadn’t pushed her on more information about Henry’s passing and wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up. ‘You’re not funny in the slightest.’

“I’ll have you know my girlfriend thinks I’m the funniest bitch going.”

‘Enid’s right on one thing,’ Nix signed, and Sophia raised an eyebrow at her, curious. ‘You are a bitch.’

Sophia gasped, gaping at her before she shoved at Nix’s arm. “You’re so mean.”

Chapter 15: Something New

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was quiet at Hilltop as the winter raged on outside. The others were dozing in their shared room in Barrington house. Luke was asleep on the couch, snoring quietly. Connie and Kelly were sharing one bed, and Yumiko and Magna were tucked away in their own small room in Barrington. Nix was sat on the windowsill, looking out into the cold wilderness outside. It was hard to see through the thick snow, and she knew it would bury them in the morning.

A week had passed since her father had returned to Alexandria with Lydia and the Alexandrians. Not a minute went by that her heart didn’t ache, wishing he were there with her. But things had gone the way they had, and that meant Daryl was in Alexandria and Nix was in Hilltop. At least they knew where the other was now. That was better than not knowing.

Nix couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard she tried, sleep wouldn’t come to her. Images of that night were embedded in her mind, behind her eyelids, and she always saw it, constantly. Nix didn’t know who to talk to, aside from Enid, and she didn’t want to bother Enid so late at night, assuming she had managed to get to sleep. Nix felt like she was at a loss, unsure of what she could do.

Morning came, and she had barely gotten any rest. Luke and the others could tell.

‘You need to get some sleep,’ Connie advised. It was just the two of them; Luke and Kelly had already gone out to start on their daily tasks.

‘I can’t. Every time I close my eyes, I see it all play out again. I can’t sleep.’

Connie pulled her into a hug and let her hold onto her. Nix’s shoulders shook and she tried to hold back the tears. She didn’t know what to do or how she could get past this. It felt like she was drowning every minute of every day. She didn’t want to let go of Connie, who often brought her comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Nix didn’t know what she’d do without the woman in her life.

As the weather eased off, the snowstorms getting easier to handle, Nix spent most of her time helping the council in any way that she could. She spent time with Enid, learning all things medical from her. In return, Enid learned more sign language. Sophia and Alden took the time out of their days to learn sign language from her too; they often learned together in the evenings. When Nix was free, she filled up her time watching for security threats on the watch posts.

Currently, she was sat outside on one of the benches within Hilltop, not too far from Barrington. Connie had seen her go and had let her. Their room had been crowded, and Nix had felt cramped and closed in. She went and sat on one of the benches. She tugged on her long hair, feeling uncomfortable, like her skin was crawling.

Barely anyone was outside. It was cold, and Nix had had to grab her coat. The weather was just shy of turning nicer, nearing the end of winter. Nix sighed and pulled her legs up to her chest, arms around her shins as she looked out into the quiet of Hilltop. It was nice in the night, peaceful. The cold air kept Nix awake, stopped her from daydreaming, from thinking about that night. Her fingers were turning cold, but she ignored it.

She spotted Alden exit his trailer, something in his hands. She couldn’t tell what it was from the distance, but he seemed to notice her out of the corner of his eye. Nix let go of her legs and let her feet touch the floor again as he turned and walked over to her.

'You're up late,' Alden signed once he was close enough to Nix. Nix nodded, then lowered her head, looking at the ground. Alden came and sat beside her on her right, knee bumping into hers gently. She looked over at him, forcing a smile that didn't feel real. 'Want one?' He pulled out a battered pack of cigarettes.

Nix shrugged, then took one. Alden took one and then they both leaned in close to his lighter. They moved back, backs leaning against the back of the bench. Nix pulled her left leg up close to her chest as the two of them sat together in comfortable silence.

'How are you holding up?' Alden asked once their cigarettes had diminished to near nothing.

'I'm not,' she admitted, then shrugged a shoulder, not quite able to look Alden in the face. 'I got Enid out of there in time, but I didn't get the others out. We were made to watch everyone die.' She looked away from him, pressing her lips together as the backs of her eyes started to burn from the tears.

Alden put his arm around Nix's shoulders, and she leaned into his side, slipping her arm around his waist. She appreciated the comfort. The two of them sat together for a long while, and even though it didn't lift the weight off Nix, it let her feel less alone. She was thankful for Alden and his friendship, the way he had befriended her so quickly, hadn’t judged her for joining the community late, didn’t discount her because of her deafness. He had smiled at her and done his best to learn sign language and took the time out of his day to talk to her and get to know her better.

In the distance, Nix saw Luke appear, and he was quick to notice the two of them sat together.

'Are you OK?' Luke signed to her. Even in the distance between them, Nix could see the way he eyed up Alden. As much as Alden and Luke had become friends, Luke had a protective streak ten miles wide when it came to Nix, especially after she had lost Hazel.

'No,' she replied. 'You?'

'No. Get some rest.'

Nix gave him a thumb's up, then turned her gaze back onto the ground. She could feel the way that Alden had tensed up beside her, knowing Luke could see how they were holding each other. Nix didn't mind much, unbothered by it. Luke would keep his distance if he knew Nix was OK, would come running if he knew she wasn’t.

'I should head to bed,' Nix signed after several long moments. She didn't want to move from Alden's side. She glanced over at him, and saw him already looking at her, concern lining his face. He was a little closer to her than she expected.

'You don't want to be alone, do you?'

Nix shook her head, and looked away for a moment, eyes burning as she tried to hold back the tears. She couldn’t talk to the others about it, couldn’t stand to be near them sometimes, knowing they would look sad and sympathetic. This time round, nothing they told her would help her through what she had endured.

'I see it all the time, and it's worse at night,' she signed, noticing the way her hands shook.

'You can stay with me if you want,' Alden offered.

Nix laughed a little, then nodded. ‘Is this your way to try and get me into bed with you?’ she signed, and saw the way Alden’s face started to burn red. ‘You have to buy me dinner first.’

He shook his head at her, an amused smile on his face before he led her to his trailer. There was only one bed, a couch, and a table. It was a little bit cramped, but it seemed to work. Nix could tell that it belonged to Alden. He had made it as much of a home as he could. She admired the paintings on the walls, the odd tidbits that he owned scattered around. They shed their coats and Alden took them and hanged them up as Nix continued to admire his home.

‘Sorry it’s a mess,’

‘It’s lived in, it’s supposed to be a mess,’ she signed to him, and he blushed a little, lighting some candles to give them some light.

He pulled out an extra blanket and a pillow, throwing them onto the couch. ‘You can take the bed. I’ll take the couch. Wake me if you get a nightmare or something.’

‘Thank you.’ Nix sat on the bed, kicking off her shoes. She held onto the bed edge; head hung as the thoughts raced. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the scene play out. ‘I’m thinking of cutting my hair,’ she signed to Alden, because she didn’t know what else to do. She’d kept the thought to herself, until it had started to bubble over and made her skin crawl.

Alden raised an eyebrow. ‘Why?’ he asked, no hint of judgement in her face.

‘When I tried to get away from Alpha, she grabbed my hair, dragged me back. It’s too long. I want it gone.’

Alden came over and sat beside her, a sad sort of smile on his face. ‘I like your hair. But if you want it gone, we can get Enid to cut it in the morning.’

‘It feels like it’s choking me sometimes,’ she admitted, fingers going to the ends of her hair. It went halfway down her ribcage, far too long. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had it cut, the split ends wrapped around her fingers. ‘Sometimes I wake up thinking Alpha’s got her hands on my neck to finish the job. She cut … she cut their heads off in front of us, and all I keep thinking about is how much I hate the idea of someone touching my neck.’

‘Look at me,’ Alden signed to her, catching her attention when she made to look away. He reached out and put his hands on either side of her face. “You’re traumatised. You saw something horrific. Your head is trying to deal with it in any way it can, and that means not wanting people to touch your neck. You saw them get decapitated, and you don’t want someone to do that to you.” He offered another sad smile, thumb rubbing over her cheek. “We can cut your hair tonight if you want. Just me and you. I won’t promise you’ll look good, but I can cut it short off your neck.”

Nix contemplated it. She was going to hate getting it cut regardless, but she couldn’t deal with it on her neck any longer. She nodded, not quite looking Alden in the eye. He nodded in return, then leaned forwards and kissed her forehead, oddly gentle with her. He got up and searched through some drawers before he acquired some scissors.

He pulled a stool into the middle of his trailer home, and she moved over and sat on it, her entire body tense, back ramrod straight. If Alden noticed, he didn’t comment on it. He offered her a mirror, and she held it in her hands as he stood behind her, fingers going through her hair. She gripped the mirror tightly, careful not to break it.

Alden pulled her hair into his hands, as if to put it in a ponytail, then cut it. Nix felt an odd sense of relief, feeling the weight it carried dropping from her shoulders. Alden cut at her hair more, until it was short, tiny hairs barely able to flop down onto her neck. He moved around her, trying to even out the cut. His scissors weren’t made for cutting hair, but it was getting the job done, and she preferred him to have scissors in his hands than a knife.

Several long minutes passed before Alden had decided he had either ruined her hair completely or had done an alright job.

‘You want to look?’ he asked, gesturing at the mirror in her hands.

Nix shrugged a little before she held the mirror up, free hand going into her short hair. It was certainly short. Longer than Alden’s and Kelly’s, though was most definitely shorter than Enid’s hair, shorter than her father’s too. It kept the hair off her neck, stopped her feeling like she was dying. She felt something akin to relief.

‘Thank you,’ she signed, then looked up at Alden, eyes too bright. He nodded and gave her a hand up and let her hug him. He returned the gesture, hands warm on her back, a solid pressure that kept her grounded. Nix knew he wouldn’t ask questions, would let her get through it at her own pace, find the words in her own time.

Eventually, Nix pulled away from Alden, feeling unsure of what to do next. Alden took charge of the situation, offering Nix a gentle smile. He led her to the bed, sitting beside her.

‘Get some rest.’ Nix nodded, trying to keep herself together. Alden looked at her in a way she couldn’t describe, and he put a hand on her face briefly. “Goodnight.”

 


 

 

Nix woke up with a jerk, feeling the cold sweat on her body, throat aching. Her heart was beating hard, and she didn’t know where she was, disorientated for a moment. It was still dark out, and she wasn’t in her trailer. A light flickered on to her right, and she looked over to see Alden there. She belatedly realised she must’ve woken him up.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nightmare,’ she signed to him, laying back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Alden wandered over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

‘About that night?’ Nix nodded once, swallowing hard. Her breathing was a little laboured, and she tried to focus on regaining control over it, calming herself down. ‘This will sound stupid, but I didn’t think deaf people could talk.’

Nix laughed, taken off guard by his signs. That was one way to distract her. In the dim light, she could see the way Alden blushed. She sat up, still laughing a little. ‘I used to talk,’ she admitted. Alden’s eyebrows raised in surprise. ‘I wasn’t good at forming words. I learned later in life when I was … ten? I couldn’t get the hang of it, had a slur in my voice.’

‘It’s pretty admirable that you learned a little bit of it,’

‘My dad saved up for years to buy some hearing aids. They were shit, everything was too quiet. But I got to hear what his voice sounded like. My uncle Merle’s voice too.’

Alden nodded, looking genuinely intrigued by what she was telling him. ‘What words can you say?’

Nix shrugged. “Quiet,” she said, and using her voice felt alien, too weird for her. She could feel the way the word didn’t come out quite right. “S-Sophia. Daryl. Carl. Je-” Nix frowned, not sure how to say Jesus. “Fuck,” she said instead, and Alden laughed. ‘I can’t remember how to say some words. Lip reading helps but I don’t know how to make the right sound.’

‘That was good. Funny. Did you learn fuck first?’

‘Fuck off,’ she signed to him, but found herself laughing with him. It was a good enough distraction and helped ease away the anxiousness she had been feeling when she woke up. ‘Sorry for waking you.’

Alden brushed it off. ‘It’s alright. Do you feel any better?’ Nix nodded, feeling a little bit embarrassed that she had reacted so badly, and Alden had seen it. ‘Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?’

Nix shrugged, wanting to say yes because that meant being with someone and knowing she was safe. But she wanted to say no to give Alden an escape so that he didn’t have to if he really didn’t want to.

‘If you don’t mind.’

They ended up laid down on their sides, facing each other. Alden had his back to the door, and Nix’s back was to the wall. They shared blankets because it was cold and the dead of winter. Nix didn’t quite look at Alden, not sure where to look. Alden reached over and put a hand on her upper arm, warm and gentle.

“Get some sleep,” he said, and didn’t say anything when Nix put her hand over his. Alden sat up a little and blew out the candle he’d lit, then settled back down on the bed.

 


 

 

Nix awoke with arms around her, and her face was pressed into something warm and solid. It took a moment for her to remember what had happened before she’d fallen asleep, and she realised she was pressed against Alden’s sleeping form. She felt herself tense up as she realised just how close the two had gotten. Guilt wracked her, and her thoughts returned to Hazel. She thought about her every damn day, and Nix reached up to the necklace that held the ring Hazel had given her. Tears pricked at her eyes, and she sighed, pulling the ring close to her lips.

Alden shifted beside her, and she dropped the necklace, feeling the ring bounce against her ear. Nix looked up at him and saw the way Alden stirred before returning to the land of the living. He had a sleepy look about him, and a soft smile graced his face.

“Morning,” he said, readjusting his arm around her, hand splayed over her back. “You sleep better?”

It took a moment for Nix to realise what he’d said, her brain tended to take a moment to process lip reading in the early hours of wakefulness. She nodded, signing ‘thanks,’ to him. Alden smiled, then shut his eyes again, a heavy sigh leaving him.

Nix wasn’t quite sure what to do, so tried to relax.

She hadn’t really slept with someone else beside her like this aside from Hazel. Or Luke and the others, but that had been for warmth, to make sure that none of them froze in the middle of the harsh winter nights. This with Alden felt different. She wasn’t sure what to name it, what label to put to it, so she tried to forget about it for now. Alden was a friend and a good person, that was reason enough.

Eventually, the two got out of the bed, stumbling around as they woke up properly. Alden went to the bathroom first, and then Nix did. When she got out of the bed and made her way over, Alden was at his small kitchen, and Nix could smell the eggs cooking.

Alden looked over at her, a smile on his face. ‘I hope you don’t mind; I’m making eggs.’

‘I don’t mind.’

Nix sat at his table, watching Alden work in his small kitchen. She admired how unruly his hair was, unlike the usual slick back style he wore it in when he was working on the metal he used. It was peaceful, and different to how things worked with Luke and the others. Nix wasn’t quite sure what to make of it and tried not to overthink it.

Alden finished up the eggs and put them on some plates and the two shared a quiet meal together. It was nice, and Nix thought it felt almost domestic. Nix thought about Hazel, and what they used to have. She missed Hazel and knew how much she would’ve loved being at the Hilltop. She would’ve been able to talk to Nix about that night, to get through to her and know what pain Nix was going through.

Instead, she found herself talking to Alden about it sometimes, if not too extensively. Nix supposed that something could come up between herself and Alden. He was a good-looking guy, nice and funny, and he went out of his way to learn how to communicate with her and didn’t mind sharing his bed with her when she was tormented by nightmares.

Though she was apprehensive of it, of the possible relationship that could happen between them. She had lost Hazel because she hadn’t noticed a walker, and Hazel had been bitten saving her life. It wasn’t something that Nix liked thinking about. If she thought about opening herself up to someone the way she had done with Hazel, she didn’t know if she could cope with losing that person the way she had lost Hazel.

She pushed the thoughts aside. For now, the two of them were just sharing breakfast.

‘These are good. Better than the powdered eggs we had at the CDC.’

Alden raised an eyebrow at that. ‘The CDC?’

‘Did they never tell anyone? We went to the CDC in Atlanta. Everyone celebrated because we thought we were safe, and T-Dog made us all powdered eggs. The CDC blew up not long after. Something about turning the air into fire.’

‘Wow.’ Alden smiled a little, shoulders jerking like he laughed. ‘This was at the beginning, right?’

Nix nodded. ‘Yeah. The doctor there told us how the virus works. Then he locked us in to kill us until Rick told him to let us live.’

‘How old were you when that happened?’ Alden asked, then took a quick bite of his eggs.

‘Twelve, I think. Almost thirteen.’

‘Well, I’m glad that you made it out of the CDC in one piece.’

 


 

 

The snow diminished. Nix spent nearly every day outside of the walls hunting. Hunting was limited, and she didn’t know what they could do about it. It meant spending long days out there alone, trying to track animals. Sometimes she was lucky and returned with a deer across her shoulders, and other times she had a few squirrels and rabbits.

Luke was concerned, as were the others in their group, and Nix still didn’t know how to talk to them or get them to understand that she couldn’t talk about that night without feeling physically sick. She spent her time inside Hilltop on the watch posts or playing music with Luke. It kept the days going, and she developed a routine of sorts.

‘You have a letter,’ Alden signed to her. People from Alexandria had come with trade goods, and people were crowding around, helping the Alexandrians with the goods they had brought. Alden handed over the letter and offered a smile to her before letting her go and sitting down on a bench to read it over. It was from Carl. Nix hadn’t expected to have any news from the people of Alexandria, much less from Carl himself. She unfolded the letter and rested her head in one hand, the other holding the letter open. His handwriting was decent, readable at least.

 

Nix,
How are you? I hope you’re doing OK. I miss you. It’s been a while
since we last spoke. Daryl told me you’re doing your best to fit in
well at Hilltop. I think that Hilltop will suit you, given time. It’s a
good place. I spent a few months there learning how to blacksmith at
the forge. Earl took Alden and I on as apprentices at the same time.
You’re friends with Alden right? He’s a good guy, likeable.
Michonne tells me she wishes you well. After finding Siddiq out there,
she’s worried about you and Enid. I’m glad you’re alive – both of you.
It’s weird knowing you’re there and not here. I think a part of me
thought that you’d come here with your dad and we’d get to spend
some time together that we lost. It’s OK that you didn’t. I think I understand.
Anyway, I thought I’d send you a letter, just to see how you’re doing. Judith
says hi, and that she wants you to visit soon. She’s been learning sign
language ever since she met you and Connie. I think she’d just a bit
obsessed. She’s even trying to teach RJ how to sign and has been getting
my dad in on it too. He’s catching up on his sign skills well and he also misses
you a lot. I hope you visit soon, maybe on the trade back to Alexandria? I
know you’re busy, so I can only sit and hope. I know we’ll see each other
again when everyone starts to train together and the weather gets better,
but I’d still like to see you sooner.
Yours,
Carl

 

Nix read over the letter a few more times and felt something tug at her heart. It meant a lot that Carl had taken the time out of his day to write her a letter. Nix got up and went into Barrington, and searched through the drawers in Maggie’s office, finding some paper and a few pens. She sat down and wrote out her own response, thinking long and hard over what she could say to him. Nix had never written a letter before, and almost didn’t know where to start. She looked back to the letter Carl had sent her before she started on her response to him.

 

Carl,
I’m as good as I can be. I miss you too, it has been a while since I
last saw you. Dad’s right; I’m doing alright at Hilltop and I’m
making friends. That’s cool that you know how to forge things. I
won’t have to keep bothering Alden with all my requests. And
you’re right – Alden’s a good guy and very likeable. He listens
when I complain about Sophia or my nightmares.
Tell Michonne and your dad I said hi, and that I’m thankful she’s
concerned. I’ll pass it on to Enid that Michonne’s worried about
her too. I can admit that it’s weird too; I keep thinking you, your
dad or mine are just around the corner. But at least this time we
know where the other is, and that we’re still alive. I’m still surprised
we managed to find each other after all these years. It’s still crazy
to think that we’re in the same state again. Can you remember the
Atlanta group? All I can remember is when that walker came into
the border we had eating that deer my dad tracked and I was the
only one there who thought to get it in the head. I think that was
the first walker I ever took down. Do you remember your first walker?
It’s almost like asking if you remember your first kiss, if a bit more
macabre and undead. (I remember my first kiss. Do you remember
yours?) I did want to come back to Alexandria, to be around you guys
and my dad again, but I didn’t have it in me to leave Luke, Connie
 and the others. We’ve been through a lot, and I can’t just leave them.
They’re worried, and it didn’t feel like the right time to leave them here.
Judith must be getting better at sign if she’s been practising. Make
sure she gets her placements right, otherwise it won’t be right. It’s
cute she’s getting RJ and your dad in on it too. I expect fluent sign
language from all of you. I’ll only tease you about it a little bit if
you get it wrong. I might come and visit when the weather gets
warmer. Or you could come visit instead, but I don’t mind if you
don’t. I plan on coming on one of the trades anyway, just to see how
you and the others are doing. I know it wasn’t easy for my dad to go
there without me, so I want to let him know I’m alright. These things
happen, and once the Whisperers are done with, the whole of
Alexandria will be sick of me visiting. I’ll see you soon, take care.
- Nix

 

Nix figured that was as good a letter that Carl was going to get from her. She folded it in half and wrote Carl’s name on it, followed by a smiley face. She turned to look out of the window and saw the traders getting close to finishing up. She got up and made her way out of Barrington. The trader offered a smile, and she handed over the letter. They nodded to her and one of them pocketed it.

“I’ll give it to Carl when we get back,” he said. Nix nodded, signing her thanks to him before she left them to it.

Nix made her way over to Sophia, who was talking to Jesus. They both smiled at her in greeting.

‘I saw you were given a letter, who was it from?’ Jesus asked conversationally, not subtle in the least, eyes alight and mischievous.

‘Carl,’ she answered, and Jesus shared a look with Sophia, a sort of knowing look that Nix didn’t understand. ‘I’m not even going to ask what that was about.’

Jesus smiled at her, then patted her shoulder before he said something to Sophia and left the two women standing there together. Sophia turned to look at Nix, an expectant look on her face. She held out her hand, a smile on the edges of her mouth.

“Let me see the letter,” she said, eyebrow raised.

‘No. Why?’

“I’m a nosey bitch.” Sophia made to snatch at the letter in her pocket, and Nix stepped back, an unimpressed look on her face as she looked at her friend.

‘Really?’

‘Please?’ Sophia asked. ‘I want to see if Carl wrote you a love letter.’

‘Why would he send a love letter?’

Sophia gave her a disbelieving look. Nix frowned at her in return, not liking what Sophia was implying. Sophia was the first one to give in. ‘I’m going to be honest with you, Nix. Carl can’t keep things subtle when he has a crush on someone, and at the moment, he’s got a crush on you.’

Nix scratched at her eyebrow. She thought that maybe Carl might have developed a silly little crush on her when they had reunited. Sophia and Enid were together, and Nix was the only other person their age, aside from Alden who was a few years older than them, and Nix couldn’t see Carl having his eyes on Alden. She thought it was understandable; they were friends from a long while ago, and they were suddenly back in each other’s lives once more.

‘Can I see the letter?’

Nix relented and handed it over. Sophia read it with eager eyes, and Nix watched her, feeling rather unimpressed with the revelation. She reckoned it would’ve been better if Sophia hadn’t told her and had instead let Carl either get over his crush or tell her outright. Nix kind of hoped that Carl wasn’t interested in her that way; whenever she looked at him, all she could see was the twelve-year-old that she had first met. But there was no denying that he had changed throughout the years that they had been apart.

‘Look,’ Sophia signed, then pointed to how Carl had signed off the letter. ‘Yours, Carl. He never signs off his letters to me or the others like that.’

‘And?’ Nix asked. ‘It doesn’t matter. He’ll forget about it by tomorrow.’

Sophia pursed her lips, not believing it at all. ‘I know you sent him one back. You’re not … sending sex letters are you?’

‘Sophia, why would that even cross your mind?’ Nix laughed a little then shoved at Sophia’s shoulder. ‘You’re unbelievable sometimes. If you must know, I replied to all his questions and didn’t flirt with him. I know those people taking the trade back will probably read the letter, and I felt weird putting something personal in the letter in case they read it.’

‘You’re adorable.’

‘You’re a pain in my ass.’

Sophia grinned at her, then slung an arm around her shoulders and led her away.

Notes:

My dear readers, I hope you've been enjoying silence so far! A little info for you all: I recently got a job and it takes up quite a lot of my time, so when I'm not working, I'm trying to relax and make sure my feet don't kill me, so I and haven't really had time to add much to future chapters that I've already got written, so updates may be slower or not on the regular two-week update schedule I have for silence once we catch up to the latest chapter that I've written.

Chapter 16: Development

Chapter Text

As the weather got warmer, training began. Nix surprised Jesus in the fact that she had been trained in fighting by someone prior to coming to Hilltop.

‘Who taught you?’ Jesus asked. He had a group of people to teach and had seemed genuinely surprised when Nix had lasted as long as she had when sparring with him. She’d managed to hold out against him longer than some of the others, and it appeared that Jesus hadn’t expected this.

‘Hazel,’ she told him, and he gave a short nod. She’d told him about her, and he knew how things had ended for Hazel. He didn’t press her on it. Nix still saw the look on Alden’s face, on Sophia’s too from the sidelines. She tried not to think about it, the questions that would ensue. Nix still hadn’t told Sophia much of her past, and Sophia hadn’t told her much of hers. Most of the things they’d been through were better left unsaid.

Nix and Jesus resumed their positions. He flashed a grin at her, then tried to knock her feet out from under her. Nix moved away with ease, watching the way the man moved his feet, where he kept his hands. Nix kept moving, out of his reach, trying to get her own hits in on him. She thought about what Hazel had taught her, how to see how a person fought.

In the end, it turned out that Nix was slightly better at sparring than Jesus was. They were both sweaty, aching and out of breath, but it had been good to get back into the flow of sparring with someone. Jesus now knew her capabilities and weaknesses and what she could work on to make sure that no-one would get the upper hand around her.

Nix spent the rest of her day with Marco dealing with the animals, helping in whatever way she could. Everyone was doing their bit, preparing for the inevitable that was the Whisperers. It was hard, working in Hilltop, doing whatever she could do, but Nix enjoyed it. People had stopped looking at her with a pitying look in their eyes; she still suffered night terrors and sometimes wasn’t present, lost in the past, but she did her best to try and move on from that traumatic day.

She also spent her time around Enid, both of them needing the comfort from each other without having to say a word. Being around each other was enough and helped them understand that they were alive, weren’t dreaming. They weren’t stuck in a nightmare and weren’t going to die by Alpha’s hands.

Alden also let her stay with him whenever she asked and didn’t push questions on her. Other people in Hilltop had noticed that the two of them were spending a fair amount of time around each other, and often had a smug sort of look on their faces when they caught the two together. Nix didn’t pay it any mind, though did deign to allow Luke and the others to tease her about her friendship with Alden. She knew that Luke was secretly glad that she was branching out, getting more friends. He had been worried about her ever since Hazel had died, and now she was coming back out of her shell, being interactive with other people around her age once more.

She had done well for herself over the years, and she didn’t want to lose who she was as a person. She wasn’t the little deaf girl her father had once known, who was unsure of the world and what it would make of her. She’d grown with it, as had Carl and Sophia. She’d made it through her life, through all the rough parts, and was still there.

Once she had finished her work for the day, she had waved to Luke as he entered Barrington to go to the room they shared with the others, and Nix went to join Alden in the forging area. He hadn’t noticed her yet, too busy hammering away at the metal he had. Nix figured he was making a sword. Earl had spotted her and nodded to her as he finished up for the day. He spoke to Alden before he left to pick up the baby he and Tammy-Rose had adopted, Adam, who was with Brianna the last Nix had seen him.

Alden slowed to a stop hammering on the metal, then turned around and jumped at the sight of Nix standing there.

Nix laughed at him. ‘You’re not as observant as you should be.’

Alden smiled bashfully. ‘You always get the jump on me.’

‘You’re just blind,’ she signed at him, but smiled too. ‘Are you going to the communal dinner?’

Alden glanced over to where Jesus and some other Hilltoppers were setting the tables. He looked back to Nix, shaking his head. ‘Too tired for so many people. Are you going to go to it?’

Nix shook her head. ‘People stare,’ she shrugged her shoulders. ‘I can’t tell if it’s because of Alpha or because I’m deaf.’

‘It’s the deaf thing,’ Alden jokingly signed, and Nix reached over to shove at his arm. They both knew it was because being around so many people made her uneasy, that she couldn’t deal with how Sophia would look at her, or how Enid had a hollow look on her face that she couldn’t quite mask. The questions everyone wanted to ask but no-one dared speak. ‘Do you want to come over for dinner?’

‘If you’re down for it, yeah.’

Alden put out the fire and put the metal away for the day, taking off his apron before he led Nix back to his trailer. They got in, and Alden went and washed up as Nix sat down on the edge of his bed, admiring the decorations that Alden had around his home. It always made Nix feel a little bit safer, comforted.

Alden came out of the bathroom, and then the two of them started to make dinner together. It was fun, and it felt normal and right. Being around Alden made her anxiousness fade away, her anxieties eased away. She felt comfortable around him. Making their dinner together gave Nix a moment to forget about the horrors she had endured, and Alden was good at distracting her.

They finished up and put the plates on the table and sat on opposite sides.

‘Who’s Hazel?’ Alden asked once they’d gotten partway through their meal, and Nix could see the way he tried to be subtle, despite the eagerness to know clear in his eyes.

Nix felt her mouth run dry; she knew the question would be coming because he’d been there when Jesus had asked how she knew defence. ‘She was my girlfriend,’ Nix signed, then shrugged a shoulder. ‘She died saving me.’

Alden nodded, a sad sort of look on his face. ‘I’m sorry you lost her.’ It looked like he meant it, and it meant a lot to Nix.

‘I think you two would’ve gotten on well,’ she admitted, something not unlike a smile on her face. Alden raised an eyebrow, curious as he nodded along. ‘You’re both a good kind of weird.’

‘I don’t think I’ve been called that before – a good kind of weird.’

‘You are,’ Nix flashed her teeth at him, and Alden laughed. ‘Hazel was something. I have a ring she gave me, said she wanted to marry me.’

She wasn’t sure if she should’ve told Alden this, but it was nice for someone else to know, and she knew Alden wouldn’t be one to judge her. He’d witnessed her night terrors enough time to not judge her for something like this.

‘Did she?’

‘Not quite. She … gave it to me the day she died. I miss her.’

‘I’d be worried if you didn’t,’ Alden signed to her. ‘You can tell me about her if you want.’

Nix nodded and started telling Alden all about Hazel.

 


 

 

Nix jerked awake; body covered in sticky sweat. She sat up, gasping for breath as she tried to get her bearings. She blinked and squinted through the darkness and saw Luke’s sleeping form across from her. She was in Hilltop. She was OK.

She’d dreamt about Hazel, about Alpha. She couldn’t get the distorted images of Alpha cutting Hazel’s head off out of her mind. She felt sick. Nix swallowed and inhaled, blinking back the tears. It took a moment for the terror to leave her, and then she got up, stretching aching muscles. It had been a while since she’d had such a horrid nightmare, she should’ve expected one to come along sooner or later.

Going into their little kitchen, Nix got herself a glass of water and peered out of the window. It was still dark outside, just before the sun would start to rise. Nix knew she wouldn’t get any more sleep for now, so got changed into her clothes and strung her bow, getting ready for the day. She was going to go hunting with the hunting group of Hilltop, and Connie was going to join her.

Nix went through her regular exercises for the day to pass the time until the sun rose. It passed the time and gave her mind something to think about. Once the sun had risen, Nix grabbed her coat and pulled it on and got her quiver of arrows before leaving the room and Barrington. Earl and Alden were up early, heating up the forges for the day. Adam, the baby, was in a car seat, babbling away to himself, playing with a toy. Nix walked over to them and waved to the two men before she turned her attention to Adam, who stared up at her. She pulled a face at him, and she watched as he laughed and reached out for her. She picked him up and let him swing his arms around her neck.

Earl laughed at them, a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Nix felt guilty that she hadn’t been able to get Tammy-Rose back and away from the danger, and neither she nor Enid had told him that she had been the last one to die. They didn’t want him to know what she had gone through before her end. Nix pushed the thoughts away; it wasn’t the time or the place to think about it, and she couldn’t let it distract her when she went out to hunt.

Alden walked over to them and cooed at Adam, letting the baby reach out and grab at his fingers. He looked at Nix. ‘Are you OK?’

Nix nodded, adjusting her hold on Adam. ‘Nightmare,’ she signed, then offered a meek smile. ‘I’ll be fine.’

Though Alden didn’t look convinced, he nodded and didn’t push the subject. He looked down at Adam and beamed at him. Nix looked up at Alden, squinting a little from the bright morning sun; he had a pleasant smile on his face and had gelled his hair back. His beard was getting a little unruly, and there was a bright light in his eyes. Nix looked away and turned her attention onto Adam, and then blew a raspberry on his hand when he pressed it to her mouth. He laughed, a large smile on his face and then clapped his hands together.

‘Are you going hunting with the group?’ Alden asked, gesturing to her bow. Nix nodded, and glanced over to Barrington, where they were starting to group. ‘Good luck. Bring back some deer.’

‘Since you asked so nicely.’ Nix handed Adam over to him and felt herself smile when she saw the one on Alden’s face. ‘I’ll see you later.’

Alden nodded and let her go to the hunting group. Connie joined her not long after, and then the group was going out, beyond the walls. Nix glanced back at the forging area and saw Alden there. He held up Adam’s hand and waved it. Nix grinned and waved back before she turned her attention onto the path ahead of her. She glanced over at Connie, who raised a pointed eyebrow at her. Nix scoffed and reached out to push at her shoulder, unable to get rid of the smile on her face.

 


 

 

Nix brought back a few squirrels. The group had come across a lake, and they had spent a good few hours getting bass and trout to eat. Their group had returned around sunset, carrying their goods. They dropped the meat and fish off with the cooks and went and cleaned up. Nix had spotted Alden working late on the forge. He hadn’t noticed her, front turned to the metal. Nix left him be and went to get some food. It had been a long day hunting, and her feet were aching.

The communal dinner was in full swing, and Nix resigned herself to having dinner with the community. She sat beside Enid, who nodded to her, sadness in her eyes. Nix nodded in return and put a hand on her shoulder. Enid put her hand over hers briefly before she turned her attention to her meal. Nix did the same, feeling like she had to force the food down; her stomach had been roiling uncomfortably, and she hadn’t eaten all day.

Luke sat beside her, a pleasant smile on his face. ‘I haven’t seen you all day,’

‘I went with the hunting group. Connie went along too.’

‘I know. I also know you’ve been avoiding these meals,’ Nix rolled her eyes, lifting an eyebrow as she looked at him. ‘Do you want to tell me why?’

‘Not really.’

Luke nodded, and patted her back before he returned to his meal. Nix looked back down at hers, pushing the food around the plate, feeling uneasy and miserable. The time slowly passed, and Nix managed to clean her plate of food. Enid hadn’t, and had returned to the infirmary. She sat down at one of the tables that were spread around the trailers, feet pulled up onto her seat, holding her jacket close around her.

She watched as people milled around, doing their jobs or finding people to talk to. The sun started to set, so Nix lit the lamp on the table and made no effort to go inside. Enid left the infirmary, her shift presumably done for the day. She spotted Nix and made her way over, pulling her jacket closer around her as the wind whipped her hair around.

Enid sat down opposite her, offering a sad smile. ‘Do you sleep at night?’ she asked, getting straight to the point.

Nix laughed, giving Enid a look. ‘Do I look like I sleep at night?’

Enid shook her head, shoulders moving like she sighed. ‘No.’ She leaned back in her seat and tilted her head back, staring up at the darkening sky. They were quiet for a long moment, and Nix watched Enid breathe. God, she was glad she got her out of that damn barn. Nix didn’t know what she would’ve done if Enid had died in that barn. Enid looked back at Nix, chin almost touching her chest. ‘How do you deal with the silence? Whenever it’s quiet, all I can hear is them,’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘It’s always been quiet for me. I see the images of it, it’s in my head where it’s worse. You have the sound to go with the images. Sometimes all I can do is think about what they must’ve sounded like. Their pleads. It’s not easy.’

‘This isn’t fair,’ Enid signed, then wiped at her face. ‘We shouldn’t have gotten out of there.’

‘No, but we did.’

‘Can we talk about something else?’ Enid asked. Nix nodded, and Enid raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for Nix to think of something they could talk about.

‘I used to have a girlfriend,’ she offered up, then shrugged her shoulders helplessly. ‘She was nice. Her name was Hazel. She died saving my life.’

Enid nodded, and Nix presumed she was thinking about Sophia. ‘I’m sorry she died. She must’ve been special.’

Nix smiled a little, feeling something akin to nostalgia as she thought about Hazel and her damn smile. ‘She really was. She was one of the best things to happen to me. She’s the reason why I know how to defend myself.’ Nix didn’t mention how she would’ve known what Sophia would’ve felt if Enid had died, if Nix had come back alone, and Sophia had lost her brother and her girlfriend in one night.

Enid looked away from Enid for a moment, then wiped at her eyes again. ‘Sophia’s worried about me. I can’t … I can’t talk to her about it, not the way I can talk to you about it. I don’t want to worry her, but I don’t know what I could say to her that could make it better. I just want her to be OK and not worry about me.’

‘You can talk to me about it because we were there together. We got out together. It’s shared trauma. I think you should tell her how it is; it’s not easy talking to someone who hasn’t seen the things you have. We should have a licensed therapist. All these people and no-one is a therapist.’

It made Enid smile, something faint and not quite there. She inclined her head in a nod. ‘Yeah, a good therapy session. It’s nice talking to you though,’

‘Right back at you,’ Nix signed to her, then she leaned back in her seat and felt the way her back popped. ‘Do you think I should attempt to get some sleep?’

‘You should; you look dead on your feet. Where will you be staying?’

Nix ignored the way she obviously knew Alden and Nix slept in the same bed together when things were rough. ‘My bed in Luke’s room. There’s more space now the others are in their own rooms.’

‘You know Alden’s more than willing to let you stay with him,’

‘He’s a good friend.’

Enid’s eye slanted, and an amused smile graced her face. ‘Ah, yes, a friend.’

‘You and Sophia are scheming something against me, and I don’t like it,’ Nix signed to her before she clambered out of her seat. ‘Get some rest Enid, you need it too.’ She waved her goodbye and made her way to the room she and Luke resided in Barrington.

Luke was already inside, reading in his bed. He smiled at Nix when she got in and kicked her boots off. She changed into some looser clothes in the bathroom and planted herself on the bed, face down. After a few moments, a pillow was thrown onto her back. She looked over at Luke, mildly offended that he’d thrown the pillow at her.

‘What?’ she asked.

‘You’re running. I know when you’re upset and going through something.’

Nix shrugged, then pushed a hand through her hair. ‘I have a lot of nightmares. I was talking to Enid before I came in. We’re both having it rough,’

Luke shut his book and turned onto his side so he could look at her. ‘You know you can talk to me. I can’t help you the way a professional can, but if it helps you to get it off your chest, then I’m right here for you. Don’t let it eat you up.’

Nix nodded, then threw his pillow back to him. ‘Get some sleep, old man.’ She turned around so her back was facing Luke, and she shut her eyes, trying to get some rest.

It wasn’t long before Nix woke up with cold sweat covering her body, the remnants of nightmares plaguing her. She was confused about where she was and looked around to see Luke asleep across from her, mouth agape, book held loosely in his hand. Nix huffed at the sight of him, feeling the muscles in her back and shoulders start to relax. She didn’t want to bother Luke, as much as she knew he cared about her, it made her feel nervous. She didn’t know how he’d react if he told her what had happened, how it made her feel.

Nix got up and pulled her jacket on, slipping her boots on. She grabbed some paper and wrote on it, then put it on Luke’s head, and left the room. The weather was cold outside, and Nix could see the people on guard duty. She turned on her heel and walked away from Barrington and went to the one trailer that she had grown accustomed to staying in. She got close enough and knocked on the door, shoving her hands in her pockets while she waited. She didn’t have to wait long before Alden was opening the door, readjusting his sleepshirt. He opened the door wider and let Nix inside.

He turned around and offered a tired smile and pulled her into a hug. She felt herself relax as she held onto Alden, and she pressed her face into his neck, squeezing her eyes shut as they swayed a little together. There was something comforting about Alden, the way he didn’t press her on why she came to him in the middle of the night.

‘Did you have a good day hunting?’ Alden asked when they pulled away from each other.

Nix nodded, then rubbed at her eyes. ‘Got a few rabbits and squirrels. We found some fish,’

‘Ah, so that’s why we were having a fish fry for dinner,’ Alden signed. ‘Do you want something to eat before we retire for the night?’

‘No. I don’t think I can stomach it,’

‘No worries.’

The two got into bed, and Alden let Nix rest her head on his arm and curl up beside him. He put his arm around her and the two got comfortable. Nix wasn’t even sure how this became such a normal routine for them. She hadn’t thought that she’d get so close to someone the way she had with Alden. Hazel would’ve been proud. Nix knew that Hazel would’ve also wanted her to eventually move on and be happy. Nix wondered if that was happening during her time at Hilltop.

 


 

 

The days continued to get warmer, and the people from the communities started to learn how to fight alongside each other. Nix got the distraction that she desperately needed, and started to wake up less during the night, body too tired from the day’s activities. She had inadvertently moved in with Alden as they spent more and more time together.

Jesus trained the people at Hilltop, and they learned how to defend each other, how to be a united front against a threat. They trained against the dead, learning which small teams worked best against the threat of the dead. It was hard work, and Nix let herself get involved in it. She didn’t want to feel the way she had in that barn. It had been a few long months since it had happened, but it clung to her skin and terrorised her in her sleep.

During trades, Nix had received letters from Carl, and had even had a visit from him when he had come along on one of the trades with Michonne. Michonne and Jesus had to talk about strategy and how their communities would work together. Nix had been surprised at Carl’s appearance, and the two spent some time together, mostly with Nix correcting Carl’s sign language and making sure that things were OK on their end.

Sophia and Enid had teased Nix about Carl visiting, considering that he hadn’t spoken to either of the women as much as he had with Nix. She could admit that it was nice to spend time around Carl, but she also knew that they had spent long years apart from each other and whilst Sophia had been able to adjust to being around Nix, Carl had been in another community, where his only reminder of her life was through letters.

It was late at night, and Nix and Alden were sharing a meal of vegetable soup. They were sat together on the bed, bowls held in their hands with their knees pulled up close.

‘What’s going on between you and Carl?’ Alden asked.

‘Don’t you start,’ Nix signed, rolling her eyes. She put her bowl to the side. She shifted in her spot so that she could look at Alden properly. ‘First Sophia then Enid. It’s almost like everyone expects me to spread my legs for any guy,’

‘Hey, that’s not what I meant,’ Alden signed, bowl put aside. He reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. ‘What’s wrong?’

Nix felt a little bad, knowing that she was going to dump it all on Alden. ‘Carl sends me letters. Every time he does, Sophia teases me and says he’s trying to flirt. It’s annoying. Then they started in on us,’

‘Us?’

‘I sleep in the same bed as you nearly every night and somehow we’re not fucking,’

Alden snorted, an amused smile on his face at her choice of words. ‘I suppose it could be worse. At least your dad hasn’t heard about it yet,’

Nix supposed he had a point. ‘It could be worse indeed.’ She leaned back in her spot, eyes on Alden. ‘Is there something going on between us?’ she asked. She knew that they were friends, borderline flirted with each other, and from Sophia and Enid’s not so subtle gestures, Nix figured that maybe there was something more between them. She knew she liked Alden, and in the long months they’d spent in the same room together, in the same bed together, it meant that they’d gotten closer. She liked him, and how he didn't push her on things, let her get her opinion across. In a way, he reminded Nix of Hazel, but she knew their differences.

Alden looked surprised at her sudden confrontation. ‘I – would you want there to be something?’

Nix looked at him with pursed lips before she decided to act on feelings she’d been hiding from herself. ‘I’m going to kiss you, and if you don’t want me to, tell me to stop.’ Nix signed to him. She moved on the bed so she was on her knees, slightly higher up than Alden. Nix put her hands on either side of his face, her expression asking if it was OK. She moved closer, leaning down until they were a mere few centimetres apart. Alden made no inclination to move, so Nix pressed her mouth against his.

She felt him put a hand on her hip, pulling her closer to him. They continued to kiss all soft and slow, and Alden leaned back on the bed, head tilted up to hers, and Nix put a hand out to hold her weight, pressing it onto the mattress as she braced herself, readjusting herself so that she was sat in his lap. Alden ended up laid down on the bed, gasping as Nix’s fingers went into his hair.

Beneath her, Alden jerked, and she pulled away, frowning at him. He laughed a little and nodded his head upwards. Nix looked and saw he’d managed to knock over the bowl of soup he’d put aside. She laughed a little and looked back to Alden, who was smiling. They got back up and cleaned up the mess. Once it was clean, they sat back down together, significantly closer than last time, sharing the last bits of soup from Nix’s bowl.

Alden had put his arm around her shoulders, and Nix leaned into him, finding comfort in this new thing that they had. It was almost foreign to her, but she knew she wanted it. Alden had been quick to befriend her and learn sign language to communicate with her. God, he’d even been worried when she’d been taken by Alpha, and they’d only known each other a few days at that point.

Nix looked up at Alden, a smile on her face. Alden looked down at her, and his eyes crinkled up as he smiled, and then he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. Nix quite liked how things had turned out in Hilltop.

Chapter 17: Oceanside

Chapter Text

Nix didn’t quite know how she’d managed to get into a relationship with Alden, but she quite liked that she had it. They had talked things out, getting to know what they were both comfortable with. They spent nervous, excited nights together, figuring things out, taking baby steps in their newly found relationship. There were tentative kisses and touches, shy and welcoming, all new and exciting.

Now that the weather was getting warmer and warmer, they were starting to send people to Oceanside to learn how to work together. Nix and Enid spent a bit of time together, with Nix teaching her some defence moves that she had learned from Hazel. Sophia had joined their sessions after a few days, seeing the determination on Enid’s face as she and Nix sparred together. Jesus sometimes helped them, correcting their techniques, and offering some new ones. He was a good helping hand, and Nix quite liked the older man; it was no surprise that he and her father got along so well.

Living in Hilltop was nice. Nix had become one of the councilmembers, alongside Yumiko, Jesus, Enid, Alden, Earl, Jerry, and Ezekiel. It was a responsibility that Nix took in stride. It kept her busy and let her know the people of Hilltop in better detail. She took on tasks that others were unwilling to do or what people couldn’t do. Most of the time she found herself going on little hunts around Hilltop trying to find things or going into people’s trailers to take out spiders when it was asked of her. It had made Alden laugh when she told him about the amount of spiders she’d had to remove from trailers and from Barrington.

‘When are you going to Oceanside?’ Nix asked Luke. She had noted the way that Luke’s weight had changed; he had lost some weight and had outgrown his hair. He looked different and seemed happier than Nix had ever seen him. They were sitting in Luke’s room in Barrington, enjoying some time together.

‘In a few days,’ Luke signed. ‘What about you?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Maybe when Alden goes. Have a familiar face with me,’

‘Your dad would be there. So would Carl,’ Luke raised an eyebrow at her, a smile playing on his mouth. ‘You haven’t seen them in a while,’

He was right, it had been a while since she’d last seen her father and her friend. She missed them, but she knew they were out there and somewhat safe. She knew that they were living, which was the important thing. Though part of Nix was worried about what they would think when they saw her again. She still suffered from nightmares, had become a jumpy person, so it made her worry that her father and friend would think of her.

‘I’ll go when I think it’s best,’ Nix signed, nodding her head a little.

Luke nodded, then leaned back in his seat. ‘How are you and Alden?’

‘I knew you were going to ask that,’ Nix leaned back in her seat, sighing as she looked at her friend. ‘I mean, what do you want to know?’

‘I want to know if you’re happy. I know after Hazel, you were … distraught, and we all thought it would take you longer to deal with the grief. It’s been two years, going on three.’

‘I know. But I know I shouldn’t be obsessed with Hazel’s death. We had something and it was good. But I don’t want to live in the past. I’m alive, I’ve survived. I want something nice, and that something nice just so happens to be with Alden.’

Luke’s face split into a big smile, eyes bright with glee. ‘You’re so adorable. He’s good for you, but tell me if he ever does anything,’

‘I will,’ Nix smiled a little. ‘What will you do, whack him over the head with a guitar?’

‘Amongst other things.’

Nix rolled her eyes at him, but there was a fond smile on her face as she looked at him. He was a funny person when he wanted to be. She looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes. ‘Oceanside is full of women. Maybe you’ll find yourself a lady friend.’

‘Because everything’s about love these days,’

‘You’re annoying.’ Nix sighed and then got up and stretched. ‘I’m going to talk to Yumiko and Jesus, so I can see what the council needs to do,’

Luke nodded and let her go. The sun outside was bright and warm. Nix looked around and saw people busy and milling around. She made her way up into Barrington. It was humid inside, and Nix made her way into Maggie’s office. Alden and Jesus were already in there, talking together. They both looked around at her entrance, and Alden smiled at her brightly.

‘Good to see you,’ Jesus signed to her as she got closer to them. ‘We were discussing weaponry. Catapults, swords and knives,’

‘Don’t we need to scavenge for more metal?’ Nix asked. Alden nodded, shuffling on his feet so he was closer to her.

‘We’re trying to plan that, keep to Alpha’s borders,’ Alden told her, then put an arm around her shoulders.

Jesus looked between them but didn’t mention anything. ‘Alpha’s borders are difficult, but we’re managing as best we can. We need to talk about groups going to Oceanside. Michonne sent Aaron with their plans, so we need to figure out ours.’

Nix nodded, glancing around as Yumiko and the other councilmembers joined them in the office. They had work to do.

 


 

 

Oceanside was nice. It was warm, bright, and reminded Nix of that time her group found themselves by the sea, enjoying brief moments of joy. She held onto her bow tightly, looking around at the others who had arrived. She made her way over to Enid and Alden, who were giving Adam as much attention as they could.

‘Aren’t you going to let him play in the sea?’ Nix asked when they looked to her.

‘There’s some dead in the water. I don’t want to risk it,’ Alden signed. Nix nodded and glanced back to the sea, wondering just how many dead were in the dark depths of it. She brushed the thought aside; they could find a small pool of water and that would do for the kids.

Enid got up from her crouched position, dusting some sand from her legs. ‘I’m going to be setting up in the medical tent.’ She smiled at the two before she left them with Adam.

‘She’s not subtle,’ Alden signed, squinting up at Nix before she crouched down beside him, reaching out to ruffle Adam’s hair. He smiled up at her, clapping his hands. She looked across to Alden, who had a grin plastered on his face. ‘Will you take him for a moment?’ he asked. Nix nodded and held her hands out, taking hold of the baby. She got back to her feet as Alden did the same. ‘I’m going to grab my spear. Everyone’s setting up. Bertie will come and get Adam before we train.’

Nix nodded, then reached out to touch Alden’s arm. She gave a shy smile, and he returned it before he leaned down and kissed her. It was soft and quick, and it had them both smiling, giddy and nervous all in one. They pulled away from each other and gave shy laughs before Alden walked away. Nix looked down at the little boy in her arms, and then she blew a raspberry against his cheek. She felt him laugh, and then he flung his arms around her, planting a kiss to her face. He rested his head on her shoulder, and she looked around as she rocked him gently.

Sophia walked up to her, a pleasant smile on her face as she swung a battle axe loosely. She got close enough and planted her axe into the sand. ‘Did you and Alden just have a nice little smooch?’

‘Fuck off,’

‘You both look at each other like you want to fuck.’

Nix rolled her eyes and shoved at Sophia’s arm with her free hand.

‘Let’s hope your dad doesn’t find out,’ Sophia dodged the second shove at her arm. She flashed a grin at Nix and picked up her battle axe. ‘You’re with the archers, right?’ Nix nodded, then moved Adam’s hand from her ear. ‘I’ll see you at the preparations then. Unless you’re going to be on the side lines with Adam, cheering Alden on.’

It took a few long minutes, and Bertie had come to take Adam from Nix, distracting him with the rest of the kids aside from Judith. The large group fell into line as they started to prepare for what they were going to train against. Nix joined Yumiko, Connie and Kelly at the back of their group as they got into place. They’d been practicing over the last few days, but now they were going to go up against a boat full of walkers to see if their group was prepared for what they had trained for.

Nix spotted Carl and Alden standing together, talking quietly as Aaron, Michonne and Jesus started to give orders to their people who held the shields up protectively. They marched forwards, and Nix kept in line with her friends as the people ahead of the group went to release some of the walkers from the shipwreck. They came to a stop, and Nix moved into her stance, kneeling on the floor, drawing her bowstring to her face to anchor. She squinted from the bright sun and released her arrow with the others. She assumed that she’d managed to hit one of them. The shields opened up and two people ran forwards to retrieve the arrows as Nix and the other archers got to their feet.

They started to march forwards again as more walkers were let out of the shipwreck. They stopped once more at Aaron’s commands, and then Alden and the others with spears got ready between the people holding the shields. Nix watched as Alden threw his spear at the last remaining walker, hitting it square in the face. He went and retrieved it as more walkers were brought out. Luke, Magna and Michonne moved out from the ranks to go and attack the walkers, killing them with ease.

Michonne and the others moved back towards the ranks as Jerry and King Ezekiel moved away from the ship as the door collapsed under the weight of the dead pressing against it. Nix moved with her formation, standing beside Alden and her father, clenching her jaw as she nocked another arrow in place. They made quick work of the walkers, with Daryl throwing his knives, Nix shooting them with her arrows, and Alden throwing his spear at them. Michonne was the one to take down the last walker. Nix looked to Alden, who grinned at her, before they started to collect their weapons.

‘You got one,’ Alden signed to her, retrieving one of her arrows for her. He handed it over, a shy sort of smile on his face.

‘My aim is impeccable,’ she signed back to him, pointedly ignoring the way her father was looking at them. ‘Your aim with the spear was good.’ She gestured to the spear he held loosely in his hand. He nodded; eyes cast downwards briefly before he caught her eye once more.

‘Shall we go grab some food? Jerry mentioned that he wanted the kids to build sandcastles together,’

Nix nodded, putting her bow on her shoulder, as she let Alden lead the way to the others. Sophia and Enid greeted them, and Enid held out Adam to Alden, who reached out for him. Alden smiled, propping his spear against a tree before he took the small child. Adam babbled up at Alden, a smile plastering his face before he planted a hand on Alden’s ear, resting his head on Alden’s shoulder.

‘Sophia said that you two are together,’ Enid signed to Nix and Alden. Nix rolled her eyes, looking over to Sophia who was cleaning her battle axe, pointedly ignoring them. Nix could still see the amused smile on her face, knowing that she’d started a little chaos.

Alden shrugged a shoulder, trying to keep it nonchalant. ‘We’re just starting out. Sophia’s just excited,’

‘I don’t want to make a big deal of it,’ Nix signed to Enid.

“Plus Carl will be jealous when he finds out,” Sophia said, finally looking up from her axe. Nix sighed, feeling annoyed; Sophia had kept mentioning it, and it was starting to irritate Nix.

‘Carl was jealous when he found out we were dating,’ Enid signed, scoffing at her girlfriend. ‘He’ll get over it.’

Their conversation was cut off when Judith ran up to them, speaking quickly. Nix looked to Alden for a translation. ‘She wants you to bring Adam so they can collect stuff from the sea and the pools nearby.’

Nix looked to Judith and then nodded. Judith beamed up at her as Alden handed Adam over to Nix, pressing a kiss to Nix’s cheek before Judith led them away, taking hold of Nix’s hand. It was pleasant with Judith, she did her best signing to Nix, slow and careful so that she got the words right. They walked past Luke and one of the Oceanside women, Jules, and Nix suspected they were flirting. She smiled a little at that, and she and Judith continued on.

They joined Jerry and his kids, as well as RJ, and they collected things from the water in their buckets. Nix kept Adam entertained with some seashells, letting him play with them while making sure he didn’t try and eat it. Dog ran ahead of them, and the kids came to a stop at a spot in the sand. Nix knelt down beside Judith as they tipped the contents up from their buckets. Nix helped RJ sort through his things, and Nix felt her stomach turn when she saw a skin mask. She looked to Judith, who had noticed, and then Nix grabbed the mask and got up, shoving it into her back pocket, trying to ignore the sudden tremors in her hands.

‘I’m going to get your parents,’ she signed to Judith. Judith nodded and turned to her little brother, trying to distract him as Nix tried to find Rick and Michonne.

 


 

 

‘RJ found this,’ Nix signed to Rick, then held out the mask to him. They were tucked away in a cabin where the radio was. Nix had passed Adam onto Magna so she could talk to the leaders. Rick, Michonne, Jesus, Aaron and Cyndie were there to know what was happening. ‘We were up by the estuary. I think it might have been carried down by the river.’

Rick looked at the mask in his hands, eyebrows creased together as he mulled over his thoughts. “We have to let our councils know that the threat of the Whisperers could be on the rise. Michonne, should Alexandria go into lockdown?”

Michonne shook her head, glancing to Nix as she started to sign along to her words. “No. We need to find evidence that they’re back. We need the people alert.”

‘I can let Sophia and the others know. Keep it on the down-low so that others don’t panic. We trained our people for a reason.’ Nix shrugged as she looked at the leaders. ‘It could be from before winter, but we can’t know for sure. We could go out in groups, cover patrol grounds, go by the borders, make sure nothing’s out of the ordinary.’

Rick shared a look with Daryl who nodded. ‘I’m going to hang back,’ Daryl signed to Nix. She nodded and followed Michonne out to gather the group after she and Aaron spoke together. They took Magna, Yumiko, Luke, Car, and Alden, and Michonne and Aaron came along to do the patrols as well.

‘The Whisperers are back?’

Nix shrugged at Alden’s question, but she felt uneasy as they readied the horses with the others. ‘They could be, or it could be from that recent storm. We don’t know for sure,’

‘Are you OK?’ Alden asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

‘I don’t know. Aaron was saying how we don’t know how they managed to take the horde out, so we don’t know how or when they could’ve brought it back. We just need to make sure we don’t panic people over nothing,’

Alden nodded, then pulled her into a hug. Nix held onto him, squeezing her eyes shut briefly. They swayed a little, and then Nix pulled away from him, offering a small smile. He returned it, and then gave her a soft kiss. They pulled away from each other before they climbed onto their horses. They followed the others once Michonne had split them into their groups – Nix would be going with Carl on patrol, whilst Alden went with Luke.

They raced into the nearby fields, Michonne giving them their orders. Nix followed after Carl on his horse as they went to check their area to make sure there weren’t any Whisperers nearby. Nix kept her eyes peeled as she looked around their surroundings, tense as she thought back to Alpha and what she had done.

They went through the trees in companionable silence.

Carl tapped at her arm, and she looked over at him. ‘So … you and Alden?’

‘Yeah,’ Nix signed, then shrugged a shoulder. ‘We’d been spending a bit of time together. It’s still something new.’ She looked ahead of her, not sure where this conversation would be going. It made her nervous, knowing what Sophia and Enid had told her about Carl’s little crush on her.

‘I didn’t see that one coming,’ Carl admitted to her. ‘Does he treat you good?’

Nix nodded, unable to get rid of the smile on her face at just the thought of Alden. God, they were both smitten for each other. ‘Yeah. He’s good. I really like him.’

‘I’m happy for you,’

‘Thank you.’ Nix looked around, squinting through the trees, and saw something too flesh-like. ‘Follow me, keep your guard up.’

The two moved towards the flesh, wary on their horses, keeping an eye on their immediate surroundings. They got off their horses and looked around, seeing an abandoned camp, string and some old, rusted cans on them. Nix drew her bow and nocked an arrow in place as she ventured further into the camp. There were old sleeping bags left to rot on the forest floor, and Nix glanced back at Carl, who had a worried look on his face, looking so much like his father.

The two followed the camp, walking past the campfire, and towards a rotted corpse, all bone and no flesh. There were other corpses beside it, clothed and rotting. They were dead, no coming back to roam the earth. Nix walked on, eyes searching every inch of the place. She spotted a nude body, face down, a hole in the back of its head. It was greyed and dirty and smelled disgusting. The dirt and leaves were packed around it, and Nix didn’t like how it looked.

Carl pulled her along and they searched through the trees until they came near the riverbank, where a flap of skin was on some fallen tree remnants.

‘Whisperers. Call it in.’

Carl grabbed the walkie on his belt and spoke into it, alerting the others that they had to come and see what they had found. He gave them their location, and they went to the entrance of the camp.

Luke and Alden were the closest ones, so were the first to arrive.

‘What have you found?’ Alden asked once he got off his horse.

‘We’ll show you when the others get here,’ Nix signed, eyes going to the ground as she looped an arm around Alden’s middle. Alden put his arm around her, speaking to Luke and Carl with ease, letting Nix try and compose herself without bringing attention onto her. Yumiko and Magna arrived, shortly followed by Michonne and Aaron.

They looked around the immediate campsite, and Michonne seemed to be dismissive of it.

‘This way,’ Nix signed, leading them away to the corpses, rotted and gross. Nix glanced back at them, seeing the suspicions rising before she and Carl led them to the nude body, the leaves packed around it. Michonne said something, and then Nix led them to where they found the skin flaps. Nix crouched down beside it, grimacing a little. It couldn’t be good. Aaron picked it up with a stick, and the others talked quietly, presumably wanting to know why and how things had gone down in the area.

Their group got onto their horses and rode back to Oceanside. Nix didn’t look at Carl, who was beside her as they ran with the others that were ahead of them. Once they were inside Oceanside’s walls, Nix got off her horse and tied it to the post, ignoring others.

Alden walked over to her and gave her a look. Nix shrugged before she put her arms around Alden in a hug. He held her in return, a hand sifting through her hair, giving her comfort and a space to relax. Knowing that the skin freaks were out there had Nix on edge, and it made her feel paranoid, always on edge more than she used to, waiting for a walker to try and stab at her or for Alpha to finish the job with her and Enid.

A boom reverberated in Nix’s body, and she and Alden jumped, rushing out of the horse barn to look up to the sky. Nix saw it first and pointed to it, squinting from the bright sun.

‘Meteor shower?’

‘Could be. Or it could be a satellite,’ The two watched, along with everyone else, as the meteor shower came crashing to the earth. ‘Shit. That’s on Alpha’s side of the border,’ Nix signed, looking to Alden. He nodded to her, seeing the worry in her face.

‘We’ll figure it out. Promise.’

Mere moments later, everyone jumped into action.

 


 

 

People were moving around, getting everything ready. Alden was going to go and deal with the fire, whilst Nix was going to stay behind with Magna, Yumiko, Connie and Kelly to deal with the control line. The sun had already set, and Nix could smell the smoke and see the distant fire. Nix watched as her father led the group, feeling anxious as Alden followed after him, taking the bandanna she offered to him as he went. They were at one of Alpha’s borders, a dead deer in the broken road. They were risking a war just to stop a damn forest fire.

Nix turned her attention onto Yumiko, looking for her orders. They started to dig, and Nix kept to pace with Kelly. Magna and some others dealt with the dead that approached them and the fire, and Nix couldn’t help but feel like her skin was on fire, nervous at the idea of being on Alpha’s side of the border. She was worried about what Enid would be feeling, if she was on the same side too, or if she was still in Oceanside for any injured to be brought there.

Yumiko pulled Nix back as Aaron yelled something to them about backburning the stray fuel by the control line so that the fire wouldn’t spread. Each of them took a torch and lit the fire, watching and making sure it went the way they wanted, and it took time. Sunlight had started to filter through the trees, and then Aaron and Jesus were yelling for them to help the group sorting out the fire; a small herd had come, attracted to the noise and flames.

Nix watched her father move around the walkers before he threw his axe at the breaking, burning tree. It collapsed onto the walkers he had been kiting around, and then they were back into business, cutting into the walkers heads, shooting them with their arrows. Nix didn’t have time to think aside from the right now moment she was in. Sophia was with her, back to back, as they dealt with walkers from all sides. Nix could barely think about Alpha, the Whisperers or the dangers that they were dealing with, and that meant Nix could work to the best of her abilities.

Several long hours later, the fires had died out, and the dead were burned to ashes and broken bones. Nix leaned against one of the unharmed trees, catching her breath as Enid, Siddiq and the new Alexandrian doctor Dante helped the injured back to the Oceanside camp. Nix swallowed the sudden fear that tried to consume her and helped Luke and some others help Eugene with the satellite.

 


 

 

The people returned to their communities after the training and the satellite at Oceanside. Nix felt more at ease knowing that they were safe in their communities, but she couldn’t help the knot in her stomach when Daryl had told her he would be staying in Alexandria with Lydia and the others. She knew it was bound to happen, but she wanted him with her, so that she knew that he was safe. It hurt to know that he was somewhere where she couldn’t reach him.

Nix kept her attention on the arrows she was making for the archers, fletching them and sharpening the tips of them, making sure that they were balanced. It kept her busy, and it gave her something to do. She figured that they would be going through a lot of arrows, and they had to be prepared for any worse case scenario.

Enid came and sat across from her, pick up one of the arrows, twirling it around in her hand. Nix paused and looked up at her, raising an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to give in first.

‘We went across the border,’ Enid signed to her, eyebrows pulling together as she tried to keep herself composed. Nix felt that same feeling, constantly trying to make sure that she wouldn’t start to cry at the mere thought of that night, of what it meant now that they had crossed the border when Alpha had told them not to. Nix didn’t like the ideas that came to mind when she thought about Alpha’s possible punishments.

‘I know. It was either that or the forest was burned to nothing. It helped them as much as it helped us,’ Nix signed, trying to keep Enid at ease. ‘There’s nothing we can do about that now. If she is back, then we have a good idea for what we’ll be up against.’

Enid nodded, crossing her arms over her chest for a moment, blinking several times, lips pressed together. ‘Teach me how to fletch arrows?’ she asked instead. Nix nodded and let Enid pull her chair closer, going through the movements of fletching. Enid was quick to grasp the concept of it and did her best to do it.

‘Don’t you have patients?’ Nix asked after a while.

‘I’m on a break. Alex is working. He’ll have someone come get me if things go to shit. Right now I want to fletch arrows.’

‘Well, you’re welcome to join me any time,’ Nix told her, offering a short smile. It was nice being around Enid, the one person who truly understood what Nix was going through, but Nix sometimes found it hard to look at her. Whenever she looked at Enid, all she could see was Alpha and what had entailed that night. It hurt, and she knew that Enid probably had the same reaction to her, but there was nothing they could do aside comfort each other when they needed it.

‘Can you teach me how to use a bow and arrow?’ Enid asked once Nix had had enough with fletching. She nodded, a little surprised by Enid’s request. ‘Now?’

‘OK.’

Nix got up and led Enid to the bows. ‘You’ll want one with a lower poundage as a first bow. Easier to control, helps build you up for the heavier ones. Bigger the pounds for drawback, more power behind the arrow,’ Nix explained to Enid, who nodded. ‘Hold your hands up so they make a triangle,’ she signed, then did the motion, arms held out in front of her, hands making a small triangle between her thumb and forefingers. ‘I’m right eye dominant, so the triangle goes towards my right eye. So I hold the riser in my left hand, and drawback with my right.’

Enid nodded, and copied Nix. ‘Left eye dominant,’ she told her.

Nix chose out a left-handed bow with low poundage and held it out to her. ‘This is a recurve; it’s got a sight on it. If you don’t like it with a sight, just take it off. It sort of becomes a barebow once the sight’s off.’ Enid nodded again, looking determined. They went down to the targets, and Nix picked out some arrows. ‘Stand looking at me, feet shoulder length apart.’

Enid did as she was told.

‘With a recurve, you anchor the arrow to your chin,’ Nix signed, then gently poked Enid’s chin, then the tip of her nose. ‘You should feel the bowstring there.’ Enid nodded again. Nix nocked the arrow for her. ‘The fletching there shows where to place your arrow. The white one is meant to point out, while the two red ones aren’t. Gives your arrow a better chance of hitting the target. Hold it at a forty-five-degree angle, and as you raise it, draw back the string until it touches your chin. You should use the muscles in your back. Stay standing upright.’

Nix let her borrow her arm guard and finger tab. Both were worn from years of use. Enid did as she was instructed, and Nix moved around her, correcting her stance and how she held the bow. Enid managed to hit the target, but not the golden centre. After a few more tries, Enid sighed and looked down.

‘Can we take the sight off?’

Nix nodded and took the sight off the bow for her, tossing it to the side where the arrows were. ‘You have to anchor differently for a barebow. I usually anchor to my cheek, so I can look down the arrow. I also don’t put my fingers around the arrow, I hold it lower down on the bowstring.’ Nix demonstrated, using the pad of her thumb to show Enid how much space to use between the arrow and where to hold the bowstring.

The two carried on for a while, and Nix could see the slow improvement on Enid’s part. It would take a while, and Nix would have to remind Enid of things to be wary of when shooting. But she was good. She was better without the sight on the bow, unlike Nix, who didn’t mind what bow she used.

They retired shooting for the night, and Enid and Nix sat together eating their meals together. Sophia was sat at the other end of the table with Alden, but she had an angry look on her face, and kept looking up to glare at Ezekiel.

‘Did Ezekiel piss Sophia off?’ Nix asked.

Enid shrugged, glancing over at her girlfriend before back to Nix. ‘Ever since Henry … well, they argue a lot. Carol left them for Alexandria and then the boat. Sophia misses her brother and what they had before Alpha. They both miss Henry. Sophia and Ezekiel used to butt heads before, when they first met and after the war with the Saviors.’

Nix nodded, though wasn’t surprised. Sophia had to have changed a lot from the little girl she had once been, and Nix knew that Ezekiel used to be very theatrical. Now with the loss of Henry and her mother leaving her, Sophia had to be having it rough. She just kept it hidden by that façade of hers.

‘Sophia’s tough. She’s been through a lot. If she wasn’t lashing out, I’d be worried,’ Nix signed to Enid. ‘Are you two OK?’

‘We don’t talk about Henry. We can barely stand to talk about Alpha. As much as I love her, I … I can’t tell her some of the things that eat at me. I can just about stand to tell you, but it’s different with you.’

‘Shared trauma,’ Nix shrugged. ‘Better to tell someone than keep it inside of you until you blow your top.’

Enid nodded but turned and looked away. Nix didn’t mention anything as Enid wiped at her eyes. Nix could see Alden looking over at them, concerned, but he didn’t do anything to draw attention to them. Nix figured she could talk to him about it when they were in the trailer later.

Over the next few days, Hilltop got word that walkers were attacking Alexandria in small consistent waves every hour. Nix was worried for her friends and family there and hoped that they would get out of it unscathed. It had to be an exhaustion technique from Alpha, to exhaust them from the small herds so that a bigger one would have greater impact on them. Nix couldn’t help but feel worried for them, even though she knew that they were capable fighters and would get through this.

Nix and Alden had retired to bed for the night, both full of nerves for their friends, worried for when the attack would turn onto them. Nix had barely been asleep for long before she was forced back into the world of the living, gasping for breath, fingers digging into Alden’s arm as the fear slowly ebbed away. Alden put his arms around Nix when she let go, letting her rest her head against his bare chest. She needed a moment. They were both wide awake, now that Nix had panicked, waking up in a sticky warm sweat. Alden drew circles in her back, fingers soft and gentle as he touched the exposed skin there. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she sighed, hand moving up to his shoulder. He didn’t say anything as he listened to her quiet sobs, the memory of that night burned into her mind.

Nix clung to him as she tried to compose herself, trying to get her breathing back to normal. Her eyes stung and her entire body ached something awful. She hated the feeling that it gave her, feeling weak and useless as if she had to let the horror take control and terrify her even in her sleep.

‘Sorry,’ she signed once she’d wiped at her eyes, looking up at Alden.

“Don’t be. It’s OK.” He kissed her forehead again, then rested his head atop hers. They were quiet together, trying to get comfortable enough to doze off into sleep once more. Nix felt too tense to do that, but she had to try.

She felt guilty that she’d woken up Alden in her panicked state, but they had gotten used to her waking him up – either from the sounds she made or how she moved in bed. It would wake them both up. They knew what they’d be getting into when they started their relationship. Nix sighed a little, squeezing her eyes shut as she readjusted her arm around him. Alden’s hand moved to her short hair; fingers warm and caring on the back of her skull.

Nix shut her eyes, trying to relax as she let him touch her gently. She tried to concentrate on it as she evened out her breathing, blinking back tears. She could feel Alden’s cool breath fanning over the side of her face. Nix clenched her jaw, opening her eyes to watch her own hand move across Alden’s middle rhythmically. He shivered a little at her touch, his free hand coming to take hold of her wrist gently. Nix sighed a little, turning her palm up so their palms touched. She felt Alden laugh a little, pushing his fingers through hers. She pulled their hands up to their chests, and glanced up at Alden, seeing the tired smile on his face. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

They were comfortable enough once more, and Nix felt the terror seep away enough to doze off into an uneasy sleep.

Chapter 18: The Fallen Tree

Chapter Text

Nix was jerked awake when Alden jumped up beside her, sitting up straight. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, feeling uneasy and more scared than she’d like to admit. Something had happened.

‘There was a loud crash. People are screaming.’

The two rushed to get dressed, grabbed their weapons, and rushed out of their trailer. Nix felt her heart leap up into her chest. A tree had collapsed over one of the walls and had landed on part of the Kingdom’s settlement within the Hilltop. She looked towards the others who had come out of their homes, and for a second she was stood there in shock. People were trapped underneath the collapsed buildings, the tree large and demanding over them.

Jerry and Diane rushed into the collapsed buildings when they realised it was their people in, and Yumiko and some others who had gathered went to follow them. Alden stopped them as he and Earl went in front of them.

‘The structure might not hold,’ Alden told Nix as he spoke to the others. Nix nodded, apprehensive about going near the mess, but her gut was telling her something was off. Alden started to instruct people as did Yumiko, telling Marco to alert Alex and Enid in the infirmary.

She looked at Connie, and saw she was thinking along the same lines as her. ‘That tree was healthy, it couldn’t have been natural for it to fall,’ she signed to Connie, who nodded along, not liking the implications.

“You think it’s them?” Luke asked, using the sign they had made for the Whisperers. Nix and Connie nodded. Luke turned to look at Alden and Earl, and Nix could see the anger lining Earl’s face, the controlled rage in Alden’s eyes, the way his jaw was clenched as Earl started to go off about the Whisperers.

‘They already cut off our hunting grounds, made it harder for you to find us food,’ Alden signed to her. ‘Why? Because we crossed their boundary to put out a damn forest fire?’

‘This isn’t helping,’ Nix signed to him. She looked back to see Diane and Jerry return, bringing two people out. They informed them of the amount of people injured and how severe it was inside. Nix knew it was going to take all night and into the morning before they could get them all out safely. ‘There are walkers coming, and we need to stall the flow of them,’ she told the others as Sophia came rushing to them.

‘There aren’t enough beds in the infirmary for the injured, we need to empty out some trailers. Ezekiel, you organise that.’ Sophia turned to look at some others, ordering them to get stretchers and mattresses. ‘Anyone who can and will, help Jerry and Diane get those people out of there.’

Nix joined Jesus in helping get the people out from underneath the wreckage. They were careful, trying not to disrupt the structure. It took several long hours to get the people out from underneath the wreckage, and the sun had risen high in the sky by the time it had gotten down to the last few still stuck inside.

Nix noticed the vibrations of the dead, how there were more and more than what had been there earlier. The dead had to be coming in waves to them. She looked to Luke. ‘We need to go out there before the dead take down the walls.’ She turned and made her way down to the gates as Luke alerted the others, who then rushed to join Nix. The rest of her group decided to take on the walkers.

They were at it for hours. Nix swapped between her knives and her bow and arrow. Magna, Luke and Yumiko were on the ground with her as Connie and Kelly were stood atop some logs that had been collected prior to the tree collapsing. It had been a long day, and they’d been swapped out once to get them a break, but the dead were a constant wave. Nix’s arrowheads had been blunted severely from how often they had gone through the flesh and bone of the dead.

The sun had set long ago, and Nix was getting tired, but she was too tense to sleep, fear and adrenaline keeping her going through the fight against the dead. The moon was full and bright overhead, giving them just enough light to fight against the dead. The walkers were closing in on them, and it was going to take a while to fight against them.

A walker got too close to Magna, and Nix shot an arrow at it. Magna struggled with another walker, but then they were being called for from inside. Magna didn’t move, trying to fight against the dead. Nix rushed over to her and dragged Magna back inside as the others rushed in. Nix wasn’t going to let Magna stay out there and be foolish.

Once they were inside, the gates were shut. Only for the wall they had been defending to collapse.

‘Fucking sickos.’

Nix got back to work with the others, running towards the dead as Ezekiel, Michonne, Judith and Eugene came to help them too. Nix didn’t bother to ask when they had gotten there and instead helped them with the dead.

God, she was exhausted.

 


 

 

Nix was slouched against Sophia. Both of them were tired, covered in blood spatter, weapons dulled and stomachs empty. Nix’s breathing was still elevated, and Sophia’s was slowed as she dozed on. Nix didn’t know how she managed to sleep. Her brain was too wired up, nerves wracked as she thought about the dead and what had happened.

So many people were hurt.

Nix sighed a little, looking down at the knife in her hands. It was slick with blood, and she wiped it on the knee of her jeans before she sheathed it. Michonne had gone into Hilltop to talk with Daryl via their radio. She didn’t know where Judith was but had caught sight of Carl, so assumed the girl was with her big brother.

Beside her, Sophia jerked awake, hand going for her knife. She paused when she realised there was no immediate threat, then slouched back. She looked to Nix, who’d had to lift herself up, head aching.

‘You let me sleep,’

‘You need it,’

‘So do you.’

Nix shrugged, not arguing against her point. ‘You’ve been doing a lot. Figured you would need a quick nap.’

Sophia laughed meekly, a faded smile on her face as she lowered her head for a moment. Nix watched as her friend glanced over to the infirmary, where Enid had been most of the night. Alex, her assistant, had been rushing between the infirmary and Maggie’s office. Jesus had been doing the same, checking in on everyone.

‘She doesn’t talk to me much anymore. Buried in work and … nightmares,’ Sophia admitted, looking at Nix. Her eyes were bright and glassy, holding back tears she didn’t want to let go. ‘I love her so much, and I don’t know what to do, don’t know how to comfort her. She’s so traumatised by what happened that night, and I can’t even talk to her about Henry. I don’t know what I’m doing.’ Sophia rubbed at her face angrily. ‘And Mom and Ezekiel broke up, and she fucked off into the sea and left me alone with Ezekiel, and all he sees in me is Henry, who he knew and loved more than he ever did me.’

Nix watched as Sophia stabbed her knife into the ground, then pulled her legs up to her chest, head resting on her knees. She felt a stab of pity for her friend, and Nix put an arm around Sophia, pulling her into her side, holding her close. Sophia put her arms around Nix, clinging to her, and Nix could feel her crying, tears staining her ragged t-shirt as she pulled Sophia into her, her other hand coming up to wrap around Sophia’s shoulders. She held onto Sophia, head atop hers, and pressed a kiss to her head, trying not to cry herself.

God, how long had Sophia held it all to herself?

The minutes passed long and slow, and Nix didn’t let go of Sophia, couldn’t let go of her until she was the one to pull away. Nix knew she hadn’t been as close to Sophia as she would’ve liked and couldn’t divulge information to her about that night when Alpha killed Henry. It hurt too much, and she hadn’t wanted Sophia to know how much Henry had suffered. She had known that Enid couldn’t talk to her about it either, knew that they’d had their little arguments, but hadn’t known it had been like this. Nix hadn’t noticed how her friend had kept things bottled up inside of her.

Nix wished she had been a better friend, had helped her in her mourning. She had been too preoccupied with her own trauma and feeling lost, not to mention the developing relationship with Alden to really notice how Sophia had been suffering.

After a while, Sophia stopped crying. She pulled an arm away and wiped at her face before she pulled away from Nix, looking away from her for a moment. ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be. You’re going through a lot.’ Nix bumped their heads together, offering a small smile. ‘I’m sorry you went through all that alone. I should’ve helped you through that loss, and I didn’t. I’m here. You’re my best friend, I won’t let you suffer like that.’

Sophia wiped at her face again. ‘Thanks. You need to shower; you smell like a walker’s rotted shit.’

‘Thanks. You smell like a cat shit in a dog’s mouth.’

Sophia grinned. ‘Very interesting smell. We both need a shower. Come on.’

The two got up and made their way into Barrington House.

 


 

 

Michonne was talking to the small group in Barrington, telling them about Whisperers nearby Oceanside, had informed them that Negan had been let free, was somewhere out there in the world. Nix had been informed of what Negan had done, how he had brutally murdered Glenn, and a man named Abraham that she never got to meet. She didn’t like what she had been told and had a feeling they’d get into a fight if they ever had the unfortunate luck of meeting. Eugene decided to stay at Hilltop, whilst Luke had asked to join Michonne on her trip to Oceanside. Nix and Yumiko took that as a chance to tease Luke about his crush on the woman, Jules, who lived at Oceanside. Judith was going to go along with them, as the rest of them got ready to help fix the wall.

Nix glanced up at the stairs and saw Magna, looking moody and angry. Nix knew she was still mad about the walkers. She glanced at Yumiko. ‘She’s your girlfriend, not mine,’

Yumiko raised an eyebrow at her. ‘She likes you more.’

Nix rolled her eyes and patted Yumiko’s shoulder and followed after Sophia to help with the wall and the tree that was there. Michonne prepared the wagon as did some of the Hilltoppers.

‘You’re not going with them?’ Carl asked, approaching Nix.

She shook her head, glancing over to Michonne and the others. Alden was nearby, helping Earl and talking to Jerry. ‘No. I’m good here. There are walkers on the way, and I’m good at dealing with them. Besides, Enid needs my help and I want to support Sophia. Not to mention Alden.’

Carl nodded; head lowered for a moment before he looked back up at her. ‘Yeah. Keep yourself safe.’

‘I will.’

Luke, Judith, and some of the Alexandrians approached, getting the wagon ready. It was almost time for them to go. Luke looked to Nix, who rolled her eyes as he grinned at her, a short companion beside him. She hugged Luke and told him to behave at Oceanside. Judith grinned at them. ‘You make sure he stays out of trouble, OK?’ she signed, and Carl was beside her translating. Judith nodded, beaming at the attention from Nix as Luke hugged the rest of the members of their group, aside from Yumiko who was by the barn.

Nix stood beside Alden, watching Luke get onto the wagon. Alden put an arm around her, watching as the wagon started to move towards the open gates of Hilltop. Luke caught her eye, and she held her hand up to him, a wave to him. He returned it, beaming at her before he was out of sight. Alden put his arm around Nix’s shoulders, and she leaned into him. He was a nice comfort and understood her more than she expected him to.

‘Ready to get to work?’

‘What, burning bodies and crushing skulls? Hardly feels like work. I might go hunting.’

Alden smiled, shoulders shaking in a laugh, and then he kissed Nix’s cheek. ‘I’ll talk to you later,’

Nix nodded, still feeling a little shy that they were so open about their relationship. It felt different to the one that she’d had with Hazel, and she’d loved that girl wholeheartedly, and they’d been far more open and freer, that people were aware of their relationship. But then they’d also been on the road together in their group, and privacy had been hard to come by living like that. At Hilltop, they could close and lock doors, hide away from people to have privacy and soft moments to themselves.

‘Don’t forget to eat.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

Nix rolled her eyes at Alden, shoving at his shoulder gently before she turned and made her way to the gate. Sophia caught up to her, looking far better than before.

‘Ready for the workload?’ Nix asked her friend.

Sophia pulled a displeased face. ‘My back is going to hurt, isn’t it?’

‘Lift with your legs, stupid.’

 


 

 

The forest was quiet, as it always was to Nix. She’d gotten tired of burning the bodies of walkers. The hunting party had been planning on going out, and Nix had tagged along, as had Kelly. She’d wanted to get the experience of hunting, to do what Nix and the others did. It had always been Nix doing the hunting when it was just them and their group, with the occasional help. But Kelly wanted the experience, and Nix knew she’d be adamant on it until someone gave in.

It hadn’t taken long before Nix had told the hunting party that she was better off on her own and told them to watch out for Kelly. They had agreed, though looked wary at the idea of Nix being on her own. She was used to the odd looks sent her way at the idea of the young deaf woman going off on her own without anyone to watch her back.

She needed to get back to how she used to be. Before Alpha and that awful night. She wanted to take back her abilities. Nix had been too scared on some days to go out and hunt alone, scared that Alpha or one of her psychotic followers would try and finish the job. Nix wasn’t going to let what happened keep her from doing what she was good at. Though she supposed keeping an eye out for walkers or Whisperers and being extra careful wouldn’t hurt.

The sun was hot, burning down on her as it filtered through the tree leaves. She was tracking a buck, following the trail. It was fresh, barely ten minutes old. She kept herself downwind, trying not to let it catch her scent, spook it. She just had to try and spot it through the bushes and foliage, try and take it down with as few arrows as possible. The damn thing could feed the whole of Hilltop if she was lucky.

Several long minutes passed, and Nix hid, crouched as she crept towards the buck. She’d finally spotted it. Her arrow was nocked in place, and she drew it back, anchoring her arrow and took account for the wind. She followed her target with the arrow, and then let it fly.

The buck jerked, rearing on its hind legs before it started to run. Nix looked around before she took off after it, nocking another arrow as she went. She followed the trail of fresh blood it left, eyes roaming the forest, making sure she wasn’t in any immediate danger. She spotted the buck again and aimed her arrow at it once more. The arrow shot through its head, and it collapsed onto the ground.

Nix made her way over to it, taking out the arrows and wiped the blood on her jeans before she put them in her quiver. She crouched down and hefted it up onto her shoulders and made her way back to Hilltop.

The way back home was quicker than she thought, and the gates were already open. She made her way inside and one of the other Hilltoppers took the buck from her as she made her way over to the hunting party, where Connie was trying to communicate with them. A dog rushed up to her, and she realised it was Dog, Daryl’s pet. She allowed the animal some attention, letting him jump up at her as Daryl walked over to them.

‘Kelly?’ she asked.

The leader of them glanced at the others, and Nix looked at Connie, who had worry lining her face.

‘They thought she would’ve met up with you,’ Connie signed, and Nix grimaced. They’d let Kelly go off by herself? Nix sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She ignored the way it stuck to her neck, making her feel sick. She’d get Enid to cut it for her after they’d found Kelly.

‘We can go out and find her, you and me,’ Nix signed to Connie, knowing just how worried she was about her sister. Kelly hadn’t told her, but Connie had; Kelly had started to lose her hearing and was worried about it being lost completely.

Daryl looked at the two. ‘I’ll help too,’

They organised a group, the three of them and Magna. Nix had told Alden where she was going, and that she wanted to spend some time with him after. He had nodded, a blush on his face, and Nix ignored the way Carl was looking at them. Sophia was probably still right about that little crush he had on her. Nix didn’t really understand why Carl had a crush on her; they’d been friends at the start, then spent several years separated, and in the months that she’d found them, she’d mostly been in a different community to him.

Dismissing the thoughts, she left Alden with Earl and Carl and joined her father, Connie and Magna in the search for Kelly. It was tense; Connie was obviously worried and kept looking around for her sister as they delved deeper into the forest. It was a little hard trying to follow her trail; the hunting group had gone over it a few times, and sometimes it coincided with Nix’s trail from when she had been hunting the buck.

Magna veered off away from them, searching on her own with Dog by her side. Nix had noticed that she’d been acting up a little, being weird and cold to her and Yumiko. She figured it was because of the walkers and the wall falling, but Nix was too preoccupied with hunting and trying to make sure she wasn’t going to break down in tears and hysterics every day. It felt like things had changed between Nix and Magna; they’d been so close when it had just been their group and Nix had been nothing more than an unlucky deaf kid.

They came to a stop, and Nix could see Connie was close to tears, upset that they hadn’t found Kelly yet.

‘It’s my fault,’ she signed, and both Dixons were quick to reassure her that it wasn’t. Nothing could stop Kelly when she wanted to do something. ‘I should’ve gone with her,’

Nix reached out to touch Connie’s arm to grab her attention. ‘I was with the hunting party too, I went off. I should’ve known she would’ve done the same,’

Connie gave her a look. ‘You’re not her babysitter,’

‘But I’m more experienced at hunting than she is, and I know how to deal with hunting and being deaf – Kelly doesn’t.’ Nix raised an eyebrow at her. ‘If you’re to blame, then so am I.’ Connie looked away and walked on, Nix glanced to her father, not entirely sure what to do. They followed after Connie, and Nix was surprised when Daryl reached out to her.

‘Did I ever tell you about my brother, Merle?’

Nix’s eyebrows rose in surprise, taken aback that her father was willing to talk to Connie about Merle. Nix had mentioned Merle briefly a few times to Connie and the others, but not in great detail; all they knew was that he’d been an idiot addict but cared for her deeply. Connie shook her head at Daryl, glancing at Nix briefly, but she was just as curious to know what her father was going to say.

‘This one time, he took me fishing,’ he started, and Nix couldn’t believe what was happening. She couldn’t stop watching the interaction. ‘It was on a big lake that was private property, we were in this boat, which was –’ Daryl glanced to Nix, and she could vaguely remember the story. She could see the fond look on Connie’s face as Daryl told her the story, ‘- stolen. Merle was drinking, right? So he was fishing and drinking. He fell in the lake, like,’ Daryl made a splashing motion, and Nix could see he’d made a sound effect with it. She couldn’t stop the smile on her face.

She could hardly believe what she was witnessing.

‘I have to take him, like this,’ Daryl signed, then reached over to Connie and put her arm around his neck and mimicked swimming as Connie smiled at him. ‘I had to swim him all the way back. I save his life, right? You know what he says to me? “Dummy, go get the beer,” idiot, right?’

Connie nodded and reached over to take hold of his hand. Nix looked away, giving them some privacy, surprised at how they had bonded so quickly. It was something that she definitely hadn’t seen coming, but she found herself pleasantly surprised with it, wondering if their friendship would remain that, or would become something more.

When Nix looked back around, she saw her father look to the left, and then the three of them were moving. Dog had found something. The three of them got to a small camp of sorts, long since abandoned. There was a line of clothes on the floor that looked recently trampled and an eaten carcass of a hog. Nix looked around, trying to find any kind of trail from Kelly before she felt something unnerve her from behind. She and her father moved together, arrow and bolt aimed to fire. It was just Magna.

The two Dixons lowered their weapons, and Nix and Connie raised their eyebrows at Magna, silently asking if she had found Kelly. Manga shook her head, an empty look on her face, and Nix tried not to look disappointed.

 


 

 

Nix did her best not to think about how long they had been out there looking for Kelly. Her stomach churned with nerves, and she was starting to get increasingly worried about her friend. Dog continued to walk ahead of them until he started to run. He sat down in front of a tree, and Nix saw him bark. They rushed over and saw Kelly slouched against the tree, unconscious. Nix and Connie kneeled beside her, checking for her pulse.

Connie shook her awake, and Kelly jumped, looking scared and disorientated until she realised who was with her. Connie was quick to hold her in her arms, signing who she was to her sister to make sure she could recognise them.

‘Are you OK?’ Nix asked.

‘I couldn’t hear before, but I’m fine now,’ she signed, and Nix reached over to wipe some blood from the corner of her mouth. What the hell had she been through? The sisters hugged, and Nix saw Magna look over to Daryl before she handed Kelly her canteen. Kelly drank from it only to cough and spit some of it out.

‘She needs to go back to Hilltop,’ Nix signed, glancing over at her father.

‘We should find somewhere closer,’ he signed, speaking along so that Magna heard him.

‘Tell them,’ Kelly signed to Magna.

Nix frowned, looking to her long-time friend. ‘Tell us what, Magna?’

A few minutes later, Nix, Connie and Daryl uncovered the stolen food and goods from Hilltop. Nix ran her tongue over her teeth, completely annoyed and almost angry with Magna and Kelly.

‘Did you know about this?’ Daryl asked Connie and Nix, and both of them shook their heads.

 Nix turned to look at Magna and Kelly, who was in the older woman’s arms, not completely there. ‘What the fuck, Magna? You were the one stealing?’ Connie grabbed a bag and sat beside her sister, opening it.

‘Don’t, I don’t trust him,’

Daryl raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “I understand you – what’s your problem?” he asked as he sat down. “Huh? Hilltop takes you in, they got sick children and mouths to feed, and you steal from ‘em? All you’re good for is talking shit.”

Nix sighed, pressing a hand to her face before she watched as Connie suggested saying that they found it. Daryl looked at Connie for a moment before he got back to his feet, looking to Nix for a moment. The two shared a silent, sign-less conversation as Connie held her sister to her side. They’d keep it quiet that Magna had been the one stealing from them.

They brought the stolen food and medicine back to Hilltop. Nix saw Yumiko smile and help Connie bring Kelly into the safety of Hilltop. Magna had carried all of the stolen food and medicine into Hilltop. Nix couldn’t look at Magna, mad at her for what she had done, and that she hadn’t even told Nix about it. Instead, she followed Connie and Yumiko into the infirmary and sat at Kelly’s bedside as Enid tended to her, making sure that she was OK.

‘She’s dehydrated and a little disorientated, but she’ll be fine,’ Enid told them. Nix nodded, signing her thanks as Connie kept her attention on her sister. Enid looked at them, a little nervous before she turned and went into the storage room. Nix watched her go, thinking about what Sophia had told her. She ran a hand through her hair, feeling how dirty it was before she decided to go and talk to Enid.

Enid was surprised that Nix was there. ‘Can we talk?’ she asked. ‘It’s about Sophia,’

The concern in Enid’s face was sudden and worrisome. She nodded and grabbed one of the dividing curtains and pulled it around them. ‘Is she OK?’

Nix wasn’t sure how to go about it. ‘She’s worried about you. She told me that you don’t talk to her much, that you’re having nightmares and trying to bury yourself in work,’

‘Not unlike you,’ Enid signed, and Nix resisted the urge to thwack her shoulder.

‘I talk to Alden about it. When I have nightmares, he’s awake when I wake up and helps me when I’m worried I’m still back there. What do you and Sophia do?’

Enid looked to the side, and then wiped at her eyes. ‘We sleep at different hours. I usually sleep in the infirmary. She sleeps in our bed in Barrington.’

Nix raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Are you kidding? No wonder Sophia doesn’t know what to do.’

‘What?’

‘She told me she doesn’t know how to comfort you. I know it’s hard talking about it, and I can’t stand to do it, but Sophia’s desperate to help you, and talk about Henry. She lost her brother, almost lost me and you, and we … gave her the cold shoulder.’

‘He looked so similar to her, did you notice?’ Enid asked, eyes glassy as tears stained her face. ‘I think it’s the jaw. But Henry and Sophia looked so similar, despite how they weren’t related by blood. All I could see as Alpha killed him was Sophia. He looked at me, and I could see it in his eyes, begging me to get out of there and make it back to Sophia and Carol. Then you broke us free, and we got out. I couldn’t do anything for him except watch him die, and I didn’t know how to tell Sophia that. He knew one of us would get out, somehow, and it hurts knowing he thought I could comfort her, but it’s so hard when I try and sleep next to her, and they just looked so similar.’

Nix pulled Enid into a hug and let the other woman cling to her. Nix shut her eyes, breathing in and out steadily as Enid quietly sobbed into her shoulder. She felt awful that she’d brought it up, but she didn’t know what to do; they were all suffering, going through the loss and the hardships that still affected them. But Nix had been getting better, was starting to be more stable mentally and had a good support system. She wondered if Enid and Sophia had a support system like that. Regardless, Nix was going to try and be that support for both of them.

After a few minutes, Enid pulled away from her, rubbing at her face. ‘Sorry,’

‘Don’t be. You’re both going through something none of us are capable of dealing with in a healthy way. Just … she’s your girlfriend, she wants to be there for you and help you through it. If it’s hard to talk to her, I’m always here to talk to.’

Enid smiled, and it was watery and unsteady. ‘Thank you. She’s told me a few things, Carol and Ezekiel. God, it was so hard when Carol left, and Ezekiel just looks at her blankly. He’d known Henry for years at the Kingdom, I think he knew Henry’s father before he took him in. Sophia’s life hasn’t been easy.’

‘But she’s had you in her life. Sunshine in the rain.’

‘Is that a gay joke?’ Enid asked, a smile on her face. ‘Sunshine and rain to make a rainbow?’

Nix laughed a little. ‘Unintentional.’ She sighed a little. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’

Enid nodded. ‘Thanks for … confronting it, helping both of us.’

‘You’d do the same for me,’

Nix left Enid behind the curtain and made her way over to Kelly. She spent the next few hours by Kelly’s side. Alden stopped by with food for her and Connie, and both of them thanked him. He kept them company for a few minutes before he had to go back to helping Earl and Carl. He’d kissed Nix before he left, and Nix reached over to hit Connie’s arm when she saw the amused, pleased look on her face.

‘I’m surprised that Dad told you about Merle,’ Nix admitted. ‘Merle’s always been a touchy subject. But I suppose you have a good influence on him.’

It was Connie’s turn to reach over to hit Nix. ‘I’m going to take our plates back. I think Siddiq wants to go back to Alexandria soon.’

‘Saying goodbye to father, mother?’

Connie jabbed a finger at Nix but didn’t sign anything more, instead took the plates and left the infirmary. Nix stayed by Kelly’s side for a little before the heat of the infirmary got to her and she needed some fresh air.

Nix left the infirmary and shut the door behind it, leaning against the wall of it, wiping her hair off her forehead. She could see Connie walking past Siddiq to talk to Daryl, signing her apologies that he’d lied about the stash. Daryl dismissed it, signing that they’re her family. Nix watched as Connie told him they were family. He nodded, and even at the distance, Nix could see how shy her father was. Her jaw almost dropped when she saw him lean over and kiss her cheek.

Daryl pushed his bike away and Dog followed. He caught sight of her, and he nodded to her. ‘Be safe,’ she signed to him.

‘You too. Love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Sophia came running out of Barrington and made her way over to Daryl, talking a little before he nodded, and the two got on his bike. Sophia turned to look at Nix, an apologetic look on her face. ‘I’m going to see my mom, keep an eye on Enid for me.’

Nix nodded and watched as the three of them left Hilltop, vanishing in the darkness of the night. She lowered her head for a moment, sighing before she went back into the infirmary to check on Kelly, who was fast asleep. Figuring her job was over for the day, she went back to the trailer she and Alden shared.

When she got in, Alden was already here, shoes off and sat on the bed, reading one of Nix’s books that she’d ended up bringing in over the months of staying together.

‘How’s Kelly?’ he asked when she looked at him, full attention on her, book put to the side.

Nix waved her hand a little, kicking off her shoes, coming over to sit next to him. ‘Enid says she’s OK, will be fine once she’s not dehydrated.’

‘I’m glad to hear that,’ Alden signed, and Nix smiled.

‘Did you have a productive day?’

‘Yeah. Eugene’s got a way to have us use all of that tree, even the bark. Zero waste.’

Nix raised an eyebrow. ‘Really?’

Alden nodded, amused at the surprise on Nix’s face. ‘Really. I’ve got several busy days ahead of me.’

‘So you don’t have time for me?’ Nix asked, teasing him.

‘I’ve always got time for you,’ Alden signed, a smile on his face when he saw the look on Nix’s. He let her move, so she was sat in his lap, legs on either side of his hips. Nix lowered her head to his, kissing him softly as her fingers went to the buttons of his shirt. He nodded and helped her take it off, letting her cast it aside. Her hands went onto his face as his went down to her hips. When she gave her consent, he gently pulled her t-shirt off, discarding it with his own.

Nix pushed Alden down onto the bed, breaking away from him slightly, both panting and excited. Alden’s hand trailed up her side, avoiding her neck before his fingers went into her hair. She leaned down to kiss him again.

Chapter 19: Squeeze

Chapter Text

Nix lifted up the wood with the help of Carl. They moved it over to the rest of the logs. They’d heard how people were coming down with a bug at Alexandria, that Siddiq had been doing his best over there, with a companion, Dante, trying to help

‘Are you sure you don’t want to go back to your family?’ Nix asked Carl once they’d put it down. ‘RJ must be missing you,’

Carl shrugged a shoulder, glancing away momentarily. ‘I miss them, but Sophia went to Alexandria, and she’ll read the letter I sent to RJ. Mom and Judith are fine at Oceanside, and I might join them on their way back home. I want to help Hilltop, make sure it’s secure. After that tree being cut down, I don’t want to leave without making sure it won’t happen again.’

‘That’s fair,’ she signed, then looked over to see Magna approaching them.

‘Siddiq was killed by Dante,’ she signed to Nix, talking to Carl. Nix couldn’t keep up with what she was saying but saw something about Whisperers. The Whisperers had managed to get into their ranks, had killed Siddiq, one of the few survivors of that awful night. Was Alpha planning on trying to finish the job with Nix and Enid now that she had managed to get Siddiq killed? Nix’s stomach felt like it had vanished.

Nix reached out to grab her arm. ‘What’s going on?’ Magna glanced at her before giving a pointed look to Carl and then walked away. ‘Immature bitch.’ Nix looked to Carl. ‘Tell me what she said.’

Carl looked a little apprehensive, but when he saw the look on Nix’s face, he started to tell her. ‘Aaron has been talking to a Whisperer and has gathered some information on them. They have a horde and Aaron knows where it’s supposed to be. He’s going to try and find it with Carol, Daryl and Sophia. They want some assistance, so Magna’s planning on taking some people out to meet them and give them some assistance.’

‘Well, I’m going to join them.’

‘I didn’t expect anything different. I think Magna didn’t want you to know so that you wouldn’t go with them. She cares about you.’

‘Maybe but I’m an adult. I’ll get my gear.’

Carl nodded and watched as Nix left to get her stuff. She grabbed her bow and arrows and some of her knives. Connie and Kelly joined her not long after.

‘You two coming to find the horde?’ Nix asked. The two nodded, but Nix couldn’t help but feel uneasy at the fact that the three of them, with little to no hearing, would be going in search of the horde. But they knew each other and how they dealt with the dead, so Nix knew they would be OK.

Nix made her way to the infirmary and told Enid where she was going and asked her how she felt knowing that Siddiq had been killed.

‘I’m worried. It was us three. Be careful out there, I don’t want to be the only one left.’

Nix nodded. ‘I know. I get it.’

The two women hugged, and Nix felt bad that she would be leaving Enid there alone. But she knew that Alden and Carl would keep her company, as would her assistant, Alex, alongside Jesus, who had been firmly told to stay behind and make sure that the Hilltop was still running by the time their group returned. Jesus had been eager to go out, to do what he did best, but he was their leader, and he was better off being with the people whilst they dealt with the damages.

Nix fiddled with the fletchings on her arrows as she made her way over to the blacksmithing area. Carl had returned to his station there, preoccupied with hammering some metal as Earl watched him with a proud look on his face. Alden seemed to have sensed her approaching, and looked up at her, a smile making its way over his face. It was infectious, and Nix couldn’t help but return it.

‘Hey. Are you going out?’

Nix nodded. ‘They reckon they can find the horde. We’ll see where it is and maybe blow it to hell. I think my dad wants to go looking for Lydia,’ Nix signed to him. Lydia had gone missing when Carol had manipulated her for her benefit, apparently Alpha had claimed she had killed her daughter, and Aaron’s Whisperer friend hadn’t believed him until she had seen Lydia with her own eyes. It resulted in their knowledge of the horde’s location, so Nix could see why Carol had done it, but she knew that there were better ways in which Carol could’ve executed her plan. It didn’t help that mere hours prior, Negan had gone missing, and Lydia had taken the blame for letting him out. Neither Nix nor Daryl believed that Lydia had done it. Someone else had to.

‘You be careful out there,’ Alden signed to her. ‘I’ll be waiting for you.’

Nix felt the heat rise to her cheeks, and she nodded, and then leaned up to kiss him. He put a hand on her waist briefly before he pulled away from her. ‘I’ll be fine. I’ll see you after.’

Alden nodded, a small smile on his face before he let Nix go with the others. She glanced over her shoulder at him as they left the Hilltop.

 


 

 

Nix led Connie, Kelly, Magna and Jerry to the meeting point. Her father was there, as were Carol and Aaron, who had settled their horses.

‘Hey,’ Daryl signed to them, nodding to the others. He walked past Jerry to hug Nix and told her that Sophia was returning to Hilltop, her duties done at Alexandria, before he started to walk with Connie, the two of them signing together. Nix watched them for a moment before accepting the hug from Aaron.

‘Let’s do this,’

“Screw these freaks. I say that in Siddiq’s honour.” Magna said as they started to walk. The sun had settled once they got to one of the borders. Nix felt her stomach churn a little, and she glanced at the others before they started walking past the border. Nix swallowed her fear and followed after them.

Nix kept an arrow nocked as she and the others made their way to where the horde was supposed to be. Her skin felt like it was crawling, but she kept moving, kept going. Maybe this would help her get closure for what happened that horrid night. She wondered if Enid was going to be OK, knowing what Nix was doing and how dangerous it could be. They were the last two survivors of that night, now with Siddiq dead.

The sun was slowly starting to rise over the horizon, and they looked at the large clearing that used to be the edge of the national forest and saw that it was completely empty of walkers. Nix looked to the others as they came to a stop. Daryl cursed and walked past their group, only to turn around and talk with Aaron. They’d risked it all, going past Alpha’s border, risked being caught by them, all for the location of the horde to be a load of shit. Maybe it had been there, but how could they have gotten so many walkers out without them noticing?

‘Time to find Lydia,’ Daryl signed before he walked off. Nix sighed and followed after her father, the rest of the group following after them.

Daryl continued to lead them along the way he suspected Lydia could’ve gone. They spent several long hours following Daryl, where he could see Lydia going, where she could be. He brought them to a river, informing them that Lydia would’ve taken it downstream. They were still on Alpha’s side of the border and Nix had yet to stop feeling sick with nerves.

Nix lagged behind the group a little, and saw as the others went right, Carol came to a stop, looking to the left, through a field and to the treeline. Nix paused beside her, unsure of how to approach her. Carol had seemed a little off ever since they had met up, and it made Nix wonder if she had any other motives for being out there with them.

Carol said something in the direction of the group, and Nix figured someone had called her attention. She started to walk off in the direction she had been looking in, and Nix cursed herself before she started to follow the woman. Sophia wouldn’t be impressed if Nix let her mother go off the rails without anyone there to bring her back.

Nix and Carol stood together, and Nix squinted across the field. Her heart leapt up into her throat as her stomach dropped. The distance was maybe a hundred or so feet, but Nix knew who that was across from them. Her palms started to dampen, and she couldn’t stop thinking about blood, the barn and the rolling heads, of poor Henry.

It was Alpha.

It was like Silas all over again. Nix was terrified, fear keeping her rooted in her spot. Her breathing came hard and uneven, and she couldn’t stop staring at the bald woman on the other side of the field. Was she going to finish what she had started in the barn?

Carol was the first one to move, walking towards Alpha, who moved off into the trees. Nix went after her, running after Carol, who was all but sprinting to try and catch up to the woman who had murdered her son. Nix glanced behind her and saw the others were following after them, and faintly wondered if this was a trap.

Alpha had to have seen them, had guards inform her of the people trespassing on her land, past her borders. Nix couldn’t stop thinking about the barn, and all she could think of was how glad she was Enid wasn’t there to meet her end with Nix.

Nix was closest to Carol, following just behind her as they ran through the treeline through the trees, jumping over an empty riverbank. Carol followed into what looked like the entrance to an abandoned mineshaft, and Nix forced herself to stop the idea of hesitating as she followed after Carol.

It was dark inside, and Nix could only just see Carol’s outline. She didn’t like where they were. This had to have been on purpose, Alpha had to know what she had been doing. The hair on Nix’s neck stood up, and she kept glancing around, scared that a machete would connect with her neck, and the last thing she’d see would be Alpha.

I’ll be waiting for you, Alden had told her, and Nix wondered just how long she would keep him waiting.

The thoughts of Alden were pushed from her mind as the ground caved under Nix’s feet, and then she was tumbling. She yelped out in surprise, unable to stop herself, and grunted and grimaced as she fell against what felt like rocks.

Once she came to a stop, she realised that the ground felt like it was vibrating. She looked around, and her eyes landed on the horde. She got to her feet and moved away from the edge of the large pillar she was stood on and realised that the others were with her too. Alpha had given them what they wanted.

Nix grabbed her flashlight from her bag and turned it on, looking around their immediate vicinity. They had fallen a fair distance, and Nix was just glad that she didn’t feel like her body had suffered anything worse than a few scrapes and bruises. The others turned to look in one direction, up towards the high walls of the cave they were in. Nix’s stomach flipped as she saw Alpha staring down at them, a torch lit beside her.

Carol screamed at her, and Alpha walked away. Her job was done, all she had to do was let the walkers do the rest.

The walkers tried to grab at them as Magna tried to climb back up the way they had fallen. Nix stabbed at the walkers that were pushed up, risking being on the platform they were on. A light was shone to the opposite wall, and Nix saw the water dribbling down. She looked to her father, who held the light, and they both knew what that meant. That water came from outside.

Nix pointed her flashlight to the horde and spotted a few large rocks, boulders. If they were careful, they could try and jump across them to get to the water on the opposite side. She turned to her father and suggested it to him.

‘We could use those to jump across,’ she signed, and the others nodded their agreement.

‘For real?’ Kelly asked Nix, who nodded, giving her an apologetic look. She didn’t want to do it either, but there didn’t seem to be any other alternative way to get off the platform they were on. Nix noticed her father was limping a little, he must’ve hurt himself in the fall. Regardless, he went first, and the walkers all reached for him as he landed. He had a moment to steady himself before he gestured for them to follow. Carol went next, and when the space was free, Nix went after her.

Dealing with the walkers was something that Nix could do. She was fine with jumping over them, landing on the rocks, she just couldn’t think of how Alpha had purposely put them in there. Pushing the thoughts of Alpha out of her mind, Nix started to jump across and landed followed after her father and Carol, keeping steady to make sure she didn’t slip into the horde.

Ahead of her, Daryl had already gotten onto the other side, and Carol was close to getting there. She slipped on the final hurdle, but Daryl caught her. He let her aside and looked to Nix, nodding a little.

‘You got this,’

Nix smiled. ‘Of course I have, I remember when we tried rock climbing when I was nine.’

Daryl huffed a laugh, but his arms were held out in case Nix couldn’t make the jump. She made it. Daryl put a hand on her face for a moment before he let her go and sit on a jutted piece of rock, out of the way for the others to get across. Jerry made it across as Nix watched the others; Kelly had struggled at first, had slipped and almost fell in, but Connie had helped and guided her back. Magna and Jerry made the jump to the wall with ease and moved to give space to the others.

Connie jumped over next, and Nix didn’t miss how her father held onto her a moment longer, hand on her side to make sure she was OK before he moved so that Connie could help Kelly over. Kelly made it and hugged her sister tightly before she jerked back, trying to get her foot out of a walker’s grip. Jerry moved into action and cut the walker’s arm off. Nix frowned a little before she took hold of it.

‘Torch?’ she signed to her father. He nodded and took it from her and soaked it with something – maybe tallow or oil – and lit the end of it on fire. It would make do for their situation. Beside them, Aaron made the final jump, and Nix grabbed his arm when he almost slid backwards.

Their group followed Daryl through gaps in the cave’s walls, and they came to a small open area. They filed in and Daryl handed Connie the torch.

‘Alright, I need you to stay here, OK? Keep everyone together.’ Daryl signed to Connie. She nodded and Nix shared a look with her as Daryl vanished to find the right route. Magna was helping a limping Kelly, who’d hurt her ankle in the fall. Nix watched as Carol showed the first signs of fear. She frowned a little, and faint memories of the CDC entered her mind, how she had asked if they were underground. Carol was claustrophobic. Nix looked away, feeling like it was Carol’s comeuppance.

Aaron and Jerry spoke, and then Kelly was signing as she spoke. ‘Food? How long do you think we’re gonna be here?’

‘It doesn’t hurt to think of those things. We won’t be here that long, but we should always be cautious,’ Nix signed. She knew that they would find a way out, that there had to be several ways to get into the cave system. It was just a matter of how long it would take them to find an exit and how many Whisperers they’d come across.

Jerry and Aaron started talking about the walkers, and Connie asked if Carol was OK.

‘She’s claustrophobic,’ Daryl signed when Carol gave her answer to Connie. The two deaf women shared a look but didn’t sign their opinions.

“Why didn’t you think of that before you got us all trapped down here?” Magna asked, directing her anger towards Carol. Nix didn’t really have it in her to defend Carol; she had gone after Alpha in a blind rage and hadn’t thought ahead of how they would run after her to make sure she wouldn’t die or do something stupid.

“Hey, it’s not the time for this,” Aaron said to Magna.

“Why not? It seems like we have plenty of it,” Magna asked, hands signing along as she spoke, keeping Nix and Connie in the loop of the conversation. She looked to Carol and made her way over to her, face close to hers. “What were you thinking, huh? Running off like that by yourself.”

Daryl reappeared, undoubtedly telling Magna off. ‘We got in this mess together, we’ll get out of it together. Now follow me.’

Their group did as he told them.

 


 

 

Nix sighed a little as she held her canteen under a stalactite, catching the water that was dripping from it. She felt too warm, all hot and humid, and she had lost track of how long they had been inside the cave system. She tried not to think about it, but it felt like all she could think about. Carol was getting water from a different stalactite, standing close by. Nix glanced her way before she figured her canteen was full enough and she closed the top of it and went and sat down, fingers fiddling with the strap of the canteen.

It felt like the rest of their group was getting increasingly annoyed that they were still inside the cave system and hadn’t yet gotten out. Nix knew that they’d had to have been in there for several hours. She supposed it had to be around dawn by now. Daryl was sat nearby, and Jerry was near Nix’s right. Everyone was tired and they’d had to make a pitstop to get some energy back and to gather whatever supplies they could find, which was mostly water.

Magna walked over to Daryl, and after a brief talk, he handed her some matches. She walked off, and Nix knew she’d not see her until she found a way out or had gotten into trouble. Carol went and sat beside Daryl so Nix turned her attention onto the knife in her hand. It was too tight in the cave to try and use her bow. She was glad that she had thought ahead and brought her knives with her.

It was only a few moments later that they were jumping into action. Magna had to have alerted them of a threat.

Nix jumped to her feet, hands holding up the dual knives that Alden had gifted her a few days ago. She raced after her father and the others followed suit. Several skin freaks were there, and then Nix jumped into action, ducking under one’s knife, twisting around to stab it. They took out a few of them before they raced after a Whisperer. They came to a stop, unsure of where the damn freak went.

‘If we don’t follow each other in the dark, we’ll be split up.’

Jerry drew their attention, pointing in one direction. Nix lifted her light and there was an arrow pointing left next to him. Nix snorted a little, amused that even the Whisperers would get lost inside the caves, and they followed the direction of the arrow. They followed the direction the arrow led them, and they came to a thin gap in the wall. Nix glanced to Jerry, who was a big guy, and she knew he’d have a bit of a struggle squeezing through it.

Nix watched as Connie stood beside her father, shining a torch through the slit, and Daryl lit a match and held it in the gap, only for it to flicker from a breeze. That was their exit? Nix wasn’t claustrophobic, but even she knew it would be a tight space for her standards. She readied herself, hands holding her knives as Daryl went in first.

Carol was leaning against the wall of the small cave, having what looked like a hard time breathing. Nix glanced to Aaron, who had been looking at Carol before he turned away. His sympathy for the woman seemed to have run out. Nix sighed and moved over to her.

‘Look at me,’ she signed. Carol couldn’t and kept her eyes shut. Nix reached out for her hand, turning it palm up so she could write “U R OK” on it. Carol looked to her, and Nix nodded as Connie signed some similar words of encouragement. Nix steeled herself before she went into the tiny space, following after Magna. Kelly followed behind her, then Carol, Connie, Aaron and then Jerry joined them.

It was tight, and Nix felt like a crab, having to sidestep along the route. It wasn’t long before she was on her stomach, crawling across the narrow space. The little pebbles and rocks nicked at the skin on her palms, digging uncomfortably into her t-shirt and jeans, but Nix kept going, following Magna and the lights she and Daryl had.

The tunnel started to incline, and Nix used little bits that stuck out to pull herself up and out of the tunnel. Magna had already gotten out, and Nix could see her father’s light better. He was there at the entrance of the tunnel and helped her out of it. She stumbled a little but found her footing, then turned to look into the tunnel to see and help the others out of it.

Kelly came out of the tunnel next, and Nix managed to catch her when she fell to the ground so that she didn’t hit her head. Nix helped her up and watched as Daryl spoke down into the hole.

‘Carol’s panicking. Daryl’s trying to get her out,’ Kelly told Nix. Nix nodded but couldn’t help but feel worried for the people who were stuck behind Carol.

A moment later, Carol was out, and Daryl pulled her out so she could sit on the ground. Nix barely looked at Carol, too preoccupied with trying to see the others and get them out of the tunnel.

‘There are sickos in there with them,’ Kelly signed, then paused as she looked to the tunnel, where Connie was climbing out of it. Nix helped Connie get her feet and pulled her aside so they were out of the way. Aaron came out a few seconds after her. They paused, looking for Jerry as Aaron looked into the tunnel. ‘Jerry’s stuck.’

Daryl reached in, trying to grab him.

‘Take off the armour,’ Nix signed, and Kelly suggested it, and they shouted it to Jerry. They pulled out his weapons and armour, and Nix could only watch as Daryl was halfway through the tunnel, pulling Jerry out. Nix helped them and led Jerry to sit against the rocky wall. ‘You’re OK,’ she signed to him as she and Connie checked his feet. ‘They didn’t bite through to the skin,’

Jerry nodded shakily, and Nix could feel the fear and relief coming from him. Kelly reassured him as Nix and Connie looked up to the ceiling of the cave, where they could see light shining through a hole across from them. Magna got up, looking at it as she walked forwards. Then Daryl was grabbing her before she could go tumbling over the edge. Nix frowned a little, feeling something akin to rumbling. She made her way over to the edge of the rocks they were on and could just barely see movement like a swarm, hundreds of feet below them.

Well, maybe if they fell, the fall would kill them.

Nix turned around and took an arm from one of the walkers and lit it on fire. She glanced to her father and Magna, and both of them nodded. Nix held it out over the edge and dropped it. They peered over the edge, watching the lit arm fall and fall and fall.

The reaction from the walkers was almost instantaneous. They growled and snarled, and Nix could feel the movement and sound reverberating in the rocky walls of the cave. She watched as the walkers moved towards the blazing arm and engulfed it in darkness once more. Her jaw felt slack as the small fire was extinguished, and the walkers were once more in pitch black darkness. She glanced to her father and Magna, feeling dread. The number of walkers there had to be off the damn charts.

Nix looked back to the light across the large vast emptiness. How were they going to get out of that? There had to be another way out.

 


 

 

The cave system used to be part of a mineshaft. The entrance to it was closed off with boards of wood. Nix watched as her father made quick work of the boards, breaking them so that they could move through it. Nix followed after her father, with Carol and Connie coming in close behind her, with the others following suit.

It was dark and dingy in the mineshaft, long since abandoned even before the fall. Nix didn’t like the look of the mineshaft.

“Why are we standing around looking at it?” Magna asked.

‘We have to be careful. If we take out the wrong piece, this whole thing is going to collapse,’ Nix and Connie signed. The structure keeping the mineshaft up and open was looking old, with the wood warped from years of use and age. It didn’t look stable, and Nix wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. They were at a dead end, with a glimmer of light filtering through a hole. If the skin freaks came after them, it wouldn’t be long for them to get overwhelmed in the corner they found themselves in. There was old mining gear that had been left to rust, and it made Nix feel nervous about their whereabouts.

‘Find something to dig with,’ Daryl signed to her and Connie, handing over the flashlight. He turned to heft something out, and Jerry joined him, helping him move it.

Nix helped Aaron start to move some of the materials that were left behind. Barely a few seconds passed before they came to a stop, and Nix saw Kelly holding some seriously old dynamite. She watched as Jerry spoke to her, nerves on his face, and then Kelly was putting it back, awful gentle with it. Nix figured anything could set it off, so that gave them another reason to be careful with what they were doing.

Nix looked over at Carol, and she didn’t like the look on the woman’s face. She grabbed her attention. ‘You take that dynamite, and I’ll knock your ass out.’ Nix threatened. All she wanted to do was go home, get a shower, and get out of Alpha’s land. She didn’t want to have to keep an eye on Carol, a grown adult, to stop her from doing something that could get them all killed while they were so close to freedom.

They took breaks at points; the materials blocking the way were heavy and rusted. They had to be careful when moving them, to make sure the structure wouldn’t give away without it. They were almost free, they had to be careful that they didn’t mess it up now. Magna and Aaron were together moving stuff out of the way, talking to each other. Magna came to a stop, and Nix caught her say Yumiko’s name.

The two of them hadn’t left things off great before Magna joined them on the mission.

Nix helped get the rest of the stuff out of the way before Jerry moved under the support beams and held them up on his shoulders. Daryl moved forwards and gripped some roots poking out and pulled on them. After some serious yanking, the dirt and dust gave way, and Nix turned her head away so that it didn’t get in her eyes.

They were almost free.

Nix waved the dust out of her face as she looked at the hole. It was small but it had daylight filtering through.

‘Come on, go,’ Daryl signed to them. Kelly went first, climbing up to the hole. She must’ve said something as Daryl turned to look at them. ‘Where’s Carol?’ he asked Nix, verbalising the question to the others.

Nix looked around, and lo and behold, Carol was nowhere to be seen. Her stomach churned as she went to investigate the dynamite and saw several were missing. She looked to her father, who realised the same thing, and then he rushed off back the way they had come, trying to find Carol. Nix’s patience towards Carol was getting thin, and she turned her attention onto the hole, watching as Aaron punched at it with his metal arm, the sharp spikes made the ground give way, making it steadily bigger for them to crawl through.

Then there were several crashes and banging, the vibrations harsh on the ground and walls around them. Nix almost lost her balance, and she saw the support beams giving way, the hole disappearing before their eyes.

Jerry and Aaron jumped into motion, lifting the support beams on their shoulders.

“COME ON!” Aaron yelled at them.

Nix crawled after Kelly as they got up and pushed their way through the hole. The ground was trembling, and Nix needed to get out, help get the others out from the other side. Carol had cut their time short on getting out, they only had so long before the cave and the mineshaft gave away, crushing them to death.

Kelly hopped out of the hole, and Nix followed after, twisting her body to get out. She managed to get to her feet before Kelly, only to find the skin freaks rushing them. The closest one came towards Nix, and she cut at their knee before stabbing them through the neck. She looked up and saw two more running to them.

Now Kelly was on her feet, and she turned to the hole, “We got freaks!” She came to stand beside Nix, as the next freak ran at them. Kelly slid on her front after running at the freak, and Nix rushed in and stabbed him in the chest once Kelly had slashed at his ankle.

Aaron had managed to get out and was helping, beating the second one’s face in with the weapon on his left hand. Nix looked to the hole and saw her father get out of it. A few seconds later, Carol was dragged out, barely conscious.

The others were taking too long.

Aaron went partway into the hole and was screaming someone’s name. He managed to get Jerry out, and as they walked away, a might boom knocked them off their feet. Nix jerked away, crouching as the aftermath shook the ground. The rest of the dynamite had to have gone off. She jerked to her feet, realising – oh no.

Nix ran after her father as he climbed onto the wreck, desperately trying to get the rubble off. Jerry held a sobbing Kelly, but Nix jumped onto the rubble with her father.

Connie and Magna were still in there.

Nix could feel herself sobbing, the tears tracking down her face through the dust and dirt that had caked her face. She couldn’t stop crying, but she needed Magna and Connie, to know that they were OK. They couldn’t be dead. They’d been together for years. Magna and Connie couldn’t be dead in there. Nix couldn’t stand the images inside her head, thinking about how crushed their bodies could be, trapped to never be buried.

They couldn’t be dead.

Aaron was the one who came up to the two Dixons, trying to persuade them to get down. “It’ll take us a week to clear this.”

Daryl turned and shouted at him, but Nix knew what he said. They needed help to get this stupid rubble and pile of shit off.

Kelly, still sobbing, got to her feet. ‘We can’t,’ she signed, talking along, looking completely devastated. Nix wiped at her face and got back to her feet. ‘This blast is gonna call walkers and Whisperers from a hundred miles from here. We don’t want our backs pressed against this mountain when they come. We can’t save them if we’re dead.’

Nix looked to her father before she climbed down, legs feeling like jelly, heart jittering. Carol walked up to her, sobbing as she tried to apologise. Nix glared at her before she punched her square in the face. The force behind the punch knocked Carol to the floor, and Nix stood over the woman.

‘Connie has been like a mother to me, and you’ve taken her away from me! Magna has been there for me when no-one else was. You’ve taken my family from me.’ Nix glared at her, mustering up the courage, concentrating on how the word felt when she tried to speak before. “Bitch.”

A hand came to her shoulder, and she looked to see Daryl there. He was trying so damn hard not to cry. They shared a look, one that Nix understood. Whisperers and walkers be damned, Daryl was going to try and find another way into that fucking cave.

Carol got to her feet and reached out to Daryl, speaking to him. He kept pushing her away until he kept his distance. Whatever she was saying pissed him off, too much for him to hear, as he tried to walk away. Carol grabbed him and he flinched, jerking out of her hold.

“You cared about her, and now she’s gone because of me. Please, just say it!” Carol broke down as she kept begging Daryl.

‘Go home. Tell the others we found the horde.’ Daryl told Nix, speaking to the others as he walked away. She nodded to him, knowing he would do his best to find that other way in. He told the others where he was going before he walked off into the long grass.

Jerry held Kelly as they walked past Carol, and Nix followed after them, shoulder bumping into Carol’s. She’d taken her mother from her. Aaron caught up to her, keeping pace with her. They’d left Carol at the wreck. She’d come after them in due time.

 


 

 

Aaron had clasped Nix’s shoulder before he set off for Alexandria. Carol had lagged behind them, but Nix was already leading the way back to Hilltop. She’d been tempted to take Carol’s horse but left it there. The woman needed a way back. She couldn’t look at Carol, or else she would’ve killed her. But she couldn’t do that; she was Sophia’s mom.

Nix forced herself to continue walking, leading Kelly and Jerry back to the Hilltop. Her heart felt heavy, and all she could think about was how Connie and Magna were probably dead and it was all Carol’s fault because she didn’t know when enough was enough. She wiped at her face, blinking back the tears, forcing herself to stay calm and keep herself composed. Her face was grimy and disgusting, and she was still caked in a layer of dust and dirt.

They climbed up the hill and the gates opened up for them. Nix didn’t know how the others were going to react. She glanced back to Kelly, who was trying her best not to start crying. Nix reached over for her arm and gently tugged her along.

Yumiko was the first to reach them, the question on her face. Beside Nix, Kelly crouched down, body shaking. Nix looked to Yumiko.

‘I’m sorry. We found the horde eventually. It was in a cave system. Alpha baited Carol, and we ran after her. Ended up in the cave. We were almost out,’ Nix wiped at her face, looking away from Yumiko to try and compose herself. ‘We found some old dynamite at the exit. We were busy trying to get it wide enough for us all to get out. We didn’t notice Carol took the dynamite until it was too late. The skins came, and Connie and Magna were still in there when the mineshaft collapsed.’

Nix hated seeing the way Yumiko’s heart broke. She pulled Yumiko to her in a tight hug. Nix tried to breathe evenly as Yumiko started to sob into her shoulder. Nix clung to her, scared of the idea of losing more of their people, that Yumiko could go the same way Connie and Magna had.

But they couldn’t be dead. How could they be dead? Connie, with her resourcefulness, the stubborn streak that kept her and her sister alive. Magna, who wouldn’t take no for an answer, who was never one to back down from a fight. A mineshaft taking them out? Nix didn’t believe it. She couldn’t, not until she saw their bodies.

‘Where’s Daryl?’ Yumiko signed when she pulled away from Nix.

Nix felt the tears start to streak down her face at the mention of her father. ‘He’s trying to find another way into the cave. He wants to find Connie.’

She couldn’t stop thinking of the desperation on his face as he tried to pull the rubble away, a frantic and desperate bid to try and get Connie out of there. It wasn’t fair. Nix wanted to scream and cry and find Connie, but she couldn’t. She had to be there for Kelly and Yumiko. Be there for when Luke returned and found out that two of their own had been killed in a collapsed mineshaft.

Nix hated Carol.

She made sure that Yumiko was stable before she stalked off to the trailer she shared with Alden and put her weapons in there. Alpha would be getting ready to wage a war on them. Nix didn’t want to be far from her weapons when shit hit the fan.

Bow and quiver put aside, Nix rested her hands on the edge of the countertop, head hung between her shoulders as she tried to even her breathing. Her eyes were burning, a sharp stinging that she couldn’t get to go away. Magna and Connie were some of her long-time friends, and Connie had been like a damn mother to her. It had been Carol who had taken that from her; Nix figured there was some cruel irony there.

Something tapped the counter next to her left hand, and she looked over to see Alden had come in and she hadn’t noticed. He’d managed to discard his apron that he used at the smithy, but there was still dirt on his face, on his hands. He offered her a sad smile and let her go into his arms, holding her close as she shut her eyes tight, unable to get her brain to shut off and stop thinking about the two people she loved that had been taken from her.

Alden let her cry into his shoulder, despite how gross she was. She couldn’t believe what had happened.

‘Take a shower. I’ll leave some clothes out for you. It’s OK.’

‘It’s not OK.’

‘It will be. I don’t know when, but it will be.’

Chapter 20: Prepare for War

Chapter Text

Nix was laid in bed. Alden had laid with her for a while, not knowing what to say to her that could help. Part of Nix couldn’t face Sophia. It was her mother who had set off those damn explosions, had gotten Connie and Magna trapped, possibly killed. Alden had let her curl up against him, eyes unfocused as she replayed the whole situation in her head over and over again. Part of her wished that she’d gotten stuck down there with them, just to try and get them back out again. But she knew it was stupid to try and think of it like that. In there with the skin freaks and the dead, well, Nix knew it would’ve been a matter of time before she was eaten to death in there.

When the sun had started to rise the next day, Alden had kissed her forehead, told her he’d be working in the smithy and would be helping the others with the rest of that damn tree that they’d taken apart. Nix had barely nodded, and Alden didn’t object when she’d pulled the covers over her head, face buried in their pillows.

But she couldn’t stay in bed forever, moping and being miserable on her own. Kelly was probably trying to do her best to help the community despite how she had lost her sister. Nix sighed a little and sat up in bed, running a hand through her knotted, short hair. She had to get up, push aside her sorrows and get shit done. Connie wouldn’t want her moping around, being miserable. She’d want her to do her best by the community.

She felt sluggish as she moved around the trailer, forcing herself to eat something, to get in the shower and get washed despite how cool the water was. She changed into fresher clothes, ignoring how the button up that she wore over her tank top was one of Alden’s. Still feeling like shit and wanting to hide away from the world, Nix willed herself to just get through the damn day. They had a war to win.

Alden, Carl and Earl were busy, from blacksmithing to taking advantage of the tree that had now been cut up to trying to make catapults. Yumiko was shooting arrow after arrow into a target, and Nix knew better than to tell her to cool off in a different manner. She spotted Enid walking down the steps of Barrington and when Enid noticed her, she made a beeline for her. Enid wrapped her in a hug, and it surprised Nix, but she held onto Enid, resting her head on the woman’s shoulder. Nix felt like collapsing in Enid’s arms, to just sob and scream, but she kept herself composed, blinking back tears.

‘I’m sorry,’ she signed when they pulled away from each other.

‘It’s not on you. Do you want to do more archery practice?’

Nix needed the distraction and knew Enid did too. Enid nodded, and the two spent a few hours making sure Enid’s bow fitted her strength and capabilities. Nix made sure her arrows were to the right size for her before she helped Enid get better at aiming at the target. Sure Enid was a novice, but she was proving she had good aim, and she could draw back the bowstring with hidden strength. She had a steady hand, and Nix figured it was from her years as the resident doctor.

Yumiko didn’t talk to them, instead continued to shoot her arrows into the target, with the compound bow’s intense sight, Yumiko had to adjust to where she was aiming, lest she shoot an arrow into one she’d already landed in the target. Nix didn’t know how to talk to her. What were they supposed to do? Magna and Connie had been with them for years, ever since Jones Springs, and as much as Nix hated thinking about that goddamn place, it had been the place where they had all met.

‘Kelly said you guys saw Alpha, that she led you into the cave.’

‘Led Carol,’ Nix corrected. ‘We had to try and follow after her, make sure she didn’t do anything stupid. That turned out brilliantly.’

Enid gave her a sympathetic look. ‘Connie and Magna are tough. I’m sorry Carol’s been … like that. Sophia’s mentioned how her mom is going off the rails since Henry. She feels distant from her like she’s lost her entire family. But she is glad that you made it back safe. I’m not sure what Sophia would’ve done if you’d been in the explosion.’

Nix shrugged and pointed to the target, not wanting to talk about it, all the other possible ways it could’ve gone down. Enid sighed, eyeing up Nix a little before she turned her attention to the target, anchoring the arrow to her cheek as she aimed. She let go, and it hit one of the outer rings. Enid grimaced and rubbed at her arm.

‘When the bowstring hits your arm, try and move your elbow in, so that it’s straight and not sticking out,’ Nix suggested. Too many times when she’d been younger had the bowstring bruised her arm. Merle had shown her the method, getting her arm straighter, so that it wasn’t sticking out, in the way of the bowstring. It also helped the arrow hit the target better, as the bowstring hitting the arm often sent the arrow off centre.

Enid nodded and mimicked Nix and did it with her bow until she was comfortable with it. Nix soon joined her in shooting the targets, if just to feel something, to let off some steam and misery. Yumiko wandered off after a while, going up into Barrington to talk to Jesus. Once Enid seemed to be doing alright with archery, the two collected their arrows and took a break. Nix followed Enid into the infirmary, and sat at her desk, not sure what to do.

Get up, get ready for a fight, and don’t die. That would be something Magna would tell her. She had to do that. Alpha had to know what they had done, and Nix knew that Alpha wouldn’t go down without a fight and Nix was sure as hell going to give her one.

 


 

 

Adam dribbled down his front as he looked up at Nix. She crossed her eyes at him before uncrossing them, and the smile stretched over his face as he laughed. It brought a faint smile to her face, and she occupied him by gently poking at him in random spots, to which had Adam giggling.

Nix was hidden away inside Barrington, atop the stairs where Jesus had his makeshift office, as he’d refused to take over Maggie’s office. Magna had been sleeping on the couch there before she’d … well, she and Yumiko hadn’t left things off OK before the cave. Nix was curled up on the couch, needing a moment away from everyone else. She didn’t know where her father was, and if he’d made it to Magna and Connie and found what he wanted – or if Alpha had killed him.

She didn’t know what she’d do if she lost her father alongside Connie, the only woman who had cared for her as if she were Nix’s mother, and Magna, who had been the big sister Nix never knew she’d wanted. Nix had to take the small victories, like how Luke had returned from his trip to Oceanside. Adam’s small hand came to squeeze at her cheek, and she smiled at him fondly. Babies could be cute sometimes. She remembered how small he had been when she’d picked him up before the walkers could get him.

Someone came walking up the stairs, and Nix looked over, surprised to see Sophia had returned from Alexandria. ‘Can we talk?’

Nix nodded and shifted over so Sophia could sit beside her. There was a guilty look on her face, and Nix knew why. ‘What your mom did isn’t on you,’ she signed to her, feeling tired. She didn’t want to talk about it more than necessary. ‘Don’t take the weight of the blame.’

Sophia shrugged, and Nix knew she didn’t believe her words. ‘I should have been there for her. She lost a son,’

‘She’s still got you, her daughter. And she still left you to go on that boat.’

Sophia slouched, looking almost like she was pouting as her eyebrows drew together. Nix knew she was trying to keep herself from crying. ‘She left me and Ezekiel. She left me to deal with Ezekiel. She’s … I’m her only child, and I know I’m an adult, but sometimes I just want her to hug me. She hasn’t done that in a while. I want her to tell me that she’ll be OK, that she’s just angry because of how Henry was killed, and that me and her, we’ll kill Alpha together. But all she’s done is put people at risk and killed people you care about.’

Sophia winced at that, and Nix knew her face was betraying her. Nix would believe Connie and Magna were alive until she saw their bodies. Nix had proved them all wrong, after years of being separated from them. How could it be any different with Connie and Magna? Still, it hurt to think that people thought that they were dead.

‘I get it,’ Nix signed to her, but it was hard to look her in the face. ‘Carol will get her revenge, remember you’re here, and things will … take a while to even out.’

A brief smile graced Sophia’s face. ‘Yeah. Did you hear about Negan?’

Nix nodded. He’d been gone for a few days now, and no-one had the time to look for him. ‘He escaped, right? Someone let him out,’

Sophia nodded. ‘Back when we first met him … well, he was an asshole. He murdered Glenn and a man named Abraham. They were good men. He was awful, ridiculed Carl and took our beds and guns. We fought him and imprisoned him. It feels weird knowing that he’s out there somewhere after being locked away for so long. I forgot what it felt like, knowing he was out there. I feel responsible for it,’

‘You weren’t there when he was let out, so it’s not on you. Didn’t his guard go missing at the same time?’ Sophia nodded. ‘It was probably the guard that did it.’

They sat together in silence for a while, and Adam had drifted off to sleep in Nix’s arms. She kept a hand on his back, feeling the way he breathed the gentle thumping of his small heart. Nix knew that she had to get up, make some more arrows and fletch them, but she took the time to just breathe and sit by Sophia’s side, being silent comfort for her as Adam dozed on, unaware of what was going on. Sophia rested her head on Nix’s shoulder, and she reached over and took hold of Sophia’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

It felt like they were in the eye of the storm.

 


 

 

‘Your foot stance is off,’ Nix informed Alden, who raised an eyebrow at her, disbelief in his face.

‘My foot stance is off? I’ve never seen you stand like this when shooting your bow,’

Nix tilted her head to the side, a smile on her face at the teasing. When she could, she’d stand properly, but she was mostly moving when she was shooting nowadays. ‘I could shoot a walker while hanging upside down, from the floor or crouched behind a tree. You’re the novice here, not me. I grew up shooting a bow.’

Alden shook his head, but there was a smile on his face, sunbeams filtering through the clouds onto his face. ‘Ah, yes, I forget you’re a child of the woods.’

‘A wildling,’

Alden kissed her forehead before he moved back into his stance, letting Nix kick his feet into the right position. He was using a barebow, one that had some of Nix’s old limbs. She was training a few people how to use bows, getting them ready for the inevitable fight against the Whisperers. The only problem was that they didn’t know when that fight would be. Alden was pretty good at using a bow, and she supposed it was because he’d gotten used to using a spear as his go to weapon. His aim with his spear was impeccable, so she knew it would only be a short while before he got used to smaller projectiles like arrows.

‘Anchor the arrow,’ she told him, watching as his hand shook. He rolled his eyes, then restarted, anchoring to his cheek, similar to how Enid anchored her arrows. His arm was steadier now, and she moved his elbow a little so that it was more comfortable. She watched as he aimed at the target and let the arrow fly. It hit the target, inside one of the rings, but wasn’t in the gold. Nix was still impressed. Most novices would miss the target entirely.

He made a few more shots, some getting closer to the centre, others veering to the outer edges. Being a novice archer meant some arrows just veered off to the side. Sometimes Nix’s arrows did that, when the wood would warp from age, or they ended up with woodworm.

After training the new novices, Nix spent several long hours making new arrows, making sure they were balanced well. It kept her occupied and let her deal with everything in her own time. Making arrows was something she enjoyed doing. Sophia joined her after a while, and Nix taught her how to make the arrows.

Nix wanted to do more than just shoot an arrow from her bow, to be the one to make the arrows. So when Carl suggested they practice with melee weapons that Alden and Earl had made, Nix agreed. Sophia joined them after a while, using a mace to practice with. Once Nix was comfortable with her own melee weapon – an axe – the three of them trained together, blocking each other’s hits and learning each other’s weaknesses. They would most likely be fighting alongside each other in the upcoming war, and they needed to know how to protect each other.

‘You’re doing well,’ Jesus signed to them; he’d come along midway through their training, observing them and giving them suggestions and pointers.

‘I’m not sure if my stance is good or not,’ Nix signed to him, and he walked over to her, adjusting her stance so that she was comfortable. Jesus grabbed an axe and the two worked together until Jesus was confident that her stance was good and she was capable of using the axe without killing herself or sending her off-kilter.

The sun was starting to set when Alden came over, pulling Nix into his arms, letting her lean against him as the training came to an end. Sophia pulled Enid into a hug, kissing the side of her face before she led her away. Earl bid them goodnight, bouncing baby Adam in his arms. Jesus gave them a smile before Alden was leading Nix away so they could retire for the night. Earl was in his room in Barrington with Adam, and Alden and Nix had their trailer to themselves, instead of on baby duty. Nix sat on their bed, pulling off the check shirt she’d worn over a vest top. Her shoulders were aching, as were her legs, but now that things were winding down, her anxiety was starting to spike up.

‘Worried?’ Alden asked her, sitting on the bed beside her, hands going to her shoulders, massaging the knots there. Nix sighed a little, feeling the relief in her muscles. She turned to look at him and pushed him down onto the bed, kissing him briefly.

‘Always. You were a quick learner today, with archery.’ She laid down beside him.

Alden smiled at her. ‘I had a good teacher.’ He put an arm around her and let her curl up against his chest. Nix smiled a little and wrapped her arms around him and turned her head so she could press a kiss against his neck. He made a humming sound, and she couldn’t help but smile at the vibrations.

‘I could teach you something else,’ she signed when she pulled away from him, resting her head on her hand, looking down at him. She winked at him, and Alden laughed, smile plastered on his face.

‘I like the way you think,’ Alden told her, and gently pushed her down onto the bed, mouth pressed against hers. Nix smiled a little, tugging on Alden’s shirt, and he was quick to discard it.

 


 

 

Nix traced a finger over Alden’s bare chest, eyes tracing the movement. The sun was slowly starting to rise over the horizon, and Nix just wanted this small moment to herself. She could feel his hand on her hip, fingers lax as he slept on. She could feel his heart beating steadily in his chest, a solid reminder to her that he was alive and well.

Alden shifted, rolling onto his side, his other arm moving over her shoulders, and she buried her face into his chest, eyes shut as she breathed in and out steadily. Maybe the world would be on pause for a moment or two, and Nix could enjoy this. She didn’t want to pull away, to get ready for the day and to practice more with melee weapons with Carl and Sophia, for when the Whisperers would attack.

After a few minutes, Alden started to stir, slowly returning to the land of the living. He stretched, and then sighed, breath fanning over the side of Nix’s face. She smiled when he kissed the top of her head, and she looked up at him.

“Morning,” he said, eyes half open. He rubbed his hand up her arm and made a face before he sat up. Nix copied his movements, and then wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. He held onto her hand, squeezing it a little. She let go of him, and he got up, moving into the bathroom as Nix pulled her clothes on.

As she got up to get some food, there were some sharp vibrations, and she looked around to the door, opening it. Earl was there, holding Adam who looked close to crying.

“Can you take him while I set the materials up?”

Nix nodded and held her arms out for the baby. Earl gave her the baby, and she held him close to her chest, rubbing at her eye as Adam rested his head on her shoulder.

‘Don’t forget to eat, Earl,’

He nodded to her and thanked her before he set off to the forge. Nix shut the door and carried Adam over to the table, sitting down at it before she sat him on the table. She smiled at the boy tiredly and let him take hold of her fingers in his small chubby hands. She kept him amused, moving his hands around, and Alden came out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his clothes.

‘Eggs?’

Nix nodded, thanking him, and turned her attention back onto Adam.

Maybe in another world, Nix thought, they could have been a typical family. A young couple taking care of a child, maybe theirs or someone else’s. Nix felt her heart jolt at that, a family. Would they all still be there, alive, after facing the Whisperers? If Earl died, would the responsibility of Adam shift to Alden, and Nix by extension? Nix hadn’t thought of being a parent, it had seemed ridiculous, and she and Hazel had never thought about it, never talked about that idea. They hadn’t seen a baby in years, always on the move, never safe to think about something so precious as a baby. But now Nix was with Alden, and his relationship with Earl was a close one, parental like Nix and Luke’s relationship. Earl would probably expect Alden to care for Adam as if he were his own if Earl was to die, and Nix knew he would. Would Alden expect her to have that same obligation, or would he understand and not force that responsibility onto her?

She was pulled from her thoughts when Alden sat at their small table, two plates of eggs in his hands. They dug in, and they fed Adam some of it, with a bit of convincing from Nix that included exaggerated facial expressions, opening her mouth and making sounds in the hopes that Adam would copy her and eat it. She could see Alden out of the corner of her eye, a fond look on his face as he watched them.

She supposed she liked their little domestic run. Adam was cute, and his smile made Nix’s heart feel fuller. It wasn’t going to last, but Nix figured she could enjoy it while it did.

Once they were all fed, Nix took Adam up into her arms and went outside, Alden trailing behind her. ‘I’m going to help Earl and Carl. It feels like it’s coming soon,’

Nix nodded. She had a twist in her gut that wouldn’t leave her alone. The Whisperers had to be coming soon, to try and end their community. Nix took Adam into Barrington house, and Bertie took him off her hands, promising to look after him whilst she trained with Sophia and Enid.

They trained with their melee weapons in the small area that was usually used for the horses to train them as well as saddle break them in. But with the impending doom everyone was feeling, the space was taken up for training. Jesus was on the sidelines, watching their poses, giving them the occasional pointers, and telling the watchers what they were doing.

It was Nix against Enid, whilst Sophia took a water break, and Nix was surprised that they were rather evenly matched. Enid didn’t hold back on Nix, who retaliated the same way. Their weapons collided several times, and they tried to hit each other, punching and kicking, but the hits were blocked. Nix felt a sense of pride; Enid was coming along well, and her training was starting to pay off.

Enid tried to sweep Nix’s feet out from under her, but Nix dodged the move and reached out, grabbing Enid’s arm before she underhooked it. Enid grabbed onto Nix’s t-shirt, and Nix stepped through with her strong side and pivoted her hips so that she was bent over slightly, and her back was against Enid’s chest. She came through, pulling Enid over her back and onto the ground. Nix caught her before she hit the ground and hurt her back or head.

“Whoa,” Enid said, and Nix smiled at her. “You gotta teach me how to do that,”

Nix laughed a little and helped Enid up as Sophia applauded them. Her attention was diverted, and the other women followed her gaze. A wagon came in, carrying Aaron, Rosita, Kerry who directed the horses, and several kids as well as a strange woman that had to be a newcomer. Alexandria couldn’t be taking in strays, they had to be locked down tight.

The kids climbed out of the wagon and Judith and her little brother RJ beamed at the three women as they approached. On the opposite end of the wagon, Earl was marching up to Aaron, with Alden and Carl trailing a few feet behind.

Judith introduced RJ and the other girl, Gracie, to Nix, who signed her hellos. Carl came over, pulling a façade over his features as he embraced his younger siblings in a tight hug, lifting them off their feet. Sophia spoke animatedly to Gracie, mouth moving too fast for Nix to even think of lip reading.

Nix and Enid approached Aaron and Earl. “Who’s the lady?” Enid asked, signing along. Aaron looked at the three of them before talking in a low voice. Enid’s eyebrows pulled together, and an angry look spread across her face. She turned to Nix. ‘She ran away from Alpha’s camp. Her name is Mary.’ Nix felt like her stomach did a somersault, and she looked back to the woman, feeling sick. ‘Aaron says she’s been helping them out,’ Enid signed, bringing Nix’s attention back to her. Enid put a hand on her shoulder, and the two shared a look.

‘Why did you bring her here?’ Nix asked, and Enid translated when Aaron frowned a little. Alden was near the woman, keeping his distance from them all, but still within earshot.

“Her nephew is, uh, Adam. She wants to see him.”

Nix shook her head. ‘No.’ Nix saw Earl and Enid give similar protests. Earl started to walk off, but Aaron tried to talk to him. Nix glanced to Enid, and the two looked to the woman, Mary, before they turned and walked away. Nix glanced back to see Alden trying to talk to Earl.

‘I have to go help Alex in the infirmary with Rosita and the others,’ Enid signed, a look on her face that said she’d rather the two stick together than be separated. Nix knew what Enid was thinking because a part of her was thinking it too. Mary had come to finish the job on Alpha’s orders, to kill the two of them before destroying the community. Nix still nodded to Enid, clapped a hand on her shoulder before the two went separate ways.

Nix returned to the training area, where Sophia and Jesus were deep in conversation. Jesus had a look on his face that made Nix think he wanted to trust Mary, whilst Sophia looked absolutely murderous. “Kelly wanted to see you,” Jesus told Nix when she got close enough, and he pointed up to Barrington, where Kelly, Luke, Jerry and Yumiko were. Nix nodded and walked over to them.

‘Are you coming with us to find Connie and Magna?’ Kelly asked when she was close enough.

Nix felt her heart break a little bit. ‘Kel, you can barely walk. Anyway, my dad’s out there looking for them, and the Whisperers have to know that and know we want to go find them,’ Nix signed to her, knowing it wasn’t what Kelly wanted from her. ‘Even you said that sickos and Whisperers would go there from miles around. There’d be a new load of sickos for Alpha to replace the ones Carol blew up.’

She tried to ignore the annoyed look on Kelly’s face. ‘Fine,’ she signed, turning her attention from Nix and onto the others. She hated it when she and Kelly argued or fell out, but Nix was trying to do her best, think, and make sure that they lived. What use would they be out there, undoubtedly surrounded by the dead and freaks alike, struggling to find an entrance to the cave system, only to get overwhelmed and possibly killed?  They had to stay with the community, where they were strongest. Nix hated the idea of leaving Connie and Magna out there to fend for themselves, but she knew that the two women were competent and knew how to handle the dead.

Yumiko started to talk, coming to the top of the steps, and Nix caught the end of it, “All we’re ever gonna know is that damn ceiling caved in.”

Nix could only watch as Kelly stood up. “If you think that they’re dead, why are you coming with us? You’d be as useful as Nix.”

Yumiko was about to retort but then Nix could feel a rumbling on the ground, something approaching. She looked around to see the gates of Hilltop open, and her father came in riding on his motorbike. The sense of relief to see him there nearly knocked her off her feet.

Nix frowned a little and realised that Lydia was on the back of the motorbike with him. Well, at least one of their missing people had been found. They climbed off the bike, and Daryl was talking, grunting out the words, limping. One of his legs had been badly hurt.

“You can’t go out there,” Lydia told their group, holding onto her bo staff. “My mother’s coming.”

Her gut twisted, and she felt sick. It was time to get ready for a war.

Chapter 21: Burning the Night

Chapter Text

‘This could be our last night on Earth,’ Sophia signed, looking out as she and Nix took watch. ‘They’re coming for us.’

‘If it is … what would you rather be doing than this?’ Nix asked, gesturing outwards.

Sophia contemplated it for a moment. ‘Having sex with Enid.’

Nix snorted. She could’ve figured as much. Sophia was open about her relationship with Enid to Nix, even the sexual side of it. Though she didn’t go into detail, but just teased Nix all the time over it. Well, whatever. At least they were both having fun. It wasn’t like either of them were going to get pregnant.

‘What about you? Would you be doing the same but with Alden?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Maybe. Or maybe spend time with my dad. We haven’t really spent much time together since we reunited. The Whisperers got in the way a lot.’ Daryl, Alden and several other councilmembers were having a meeting, trying to discuss what to do

Sophia nodded. ‘I’d spend time with my mom, but I think she’s having sex with Ezekiel out in the wild. He went to find her, since she’s still not back.’ Sophia pulled a disgusted look. ‘Parents should not have sex. It’s … weird.’

‘Then they wouldn’t be parents.’

‘I know. But still. They could try to be more discreet or something. I don’t want to know that they’re playing hide the sausage.’

‘Stop being so weird, please. I don’t want those weird mental images.’ Nix rolled her eyes and turned her attention onto the others outside the walls. Nix figured they had until sundown before the fight against the Whisperers started. ‘Maybe I should go and have sex with Alden for the last time.’

‘Gross.’

Nix shoved at Sophia’s arm. Hypocrite. Nix shook her head and turned her attention back to the vast area in front of them. She had to get some rest at some point if she’d even manage that.

‘They want to get the kids out of here, to Oceanside,’ Carl was telling her when she’d come down from her watch. ‘I’m going to go with them. Judith and RJ need me.’

Nix nodded, eyeing Carl up a little before she pulled him into a hug. It was a smart play, and he was more than capable of protecting the kids. Nix pulled away a little, kissed his cheek and offered a pathetic smile. ‘Stay safe.’

‘You too.’

Carl moved away and joined his siblings in the wagon that was being prepared for departure. Daryl was helping Judith and RJ onto the wagon as the gates opened and Ezekiel walked into Hilltop, followed by Carol. Nix had a sour taste in her mouth at the sight of Carol, and she couldn’t help the glare that set in her face as she watched the woman approach. Carol avoided Nix like she was the plague.

‘I’ll be back. I’m going to lead them to Oceanside,’ Daryl signed to Nix, and let her wipe the blood from his forehead with her thumb. She pressed her lips together as she watched his expression at the care she gave him.

‘No worries. Don’t get into another fight on the way.’

Daryl smiled at her. ‘Promise.’ He put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her close to kiss her forehead. ‘Keep an eye on Dog for me.’

‘Will do.’

Nix watched as her father mounted his bike, and she faintly wondered how he managed to find fuel for it, even after all this time. She watched as he led the wagons out of Hilltop. Nix felt cold, despite the bright sun shining down on her. Feeling weird, Nix tried her best to help the others, the anxiety building up in her as she waited for night to fall. The Whisperers had to use the night to their advantage; it made sense for them to not attack during the day. Dog stayed by her side, and she gave him occasional pets and scratches. He kept her company and distracted her when she needed it.

Barely half an hour had passed before the wagons full of the kids had returned. One of the girls, Gracie, ran towards Barrington, shouting for someone. Aaron came running out and Nix watched as he hugged her before he let some women take her inside.

Nix walked over to them, closer to her father as he kicked the stand for his bike.

‘Are the roads blocked?’ she asked as Sophia came to stand beside her, resting her arm on Nix’s shoulder. Daryl nodded to her.

“Negan’s with her,” Sophia said, and it wasn’t a question. Daryl gave her a short nod and Sophia turned away, probably cursing up a damn storm. The others approached, and Luke shot Nix a worried look as he leaned against the wagon, Yumiko by his side.

‘They’re closing in on us,’ Daryl signed to Nix as he spoke to the others. ‘If we had a window to get out, we just missed it.’

‘But we can’t stay here,’ Kelly signed, face showing the emotions she was going through. ‘You all said we can’t stay here.’

‘We can … we can call Alexandria, right?’ Luke started to talk, stuttering his words, face full of worry. Nix tried not to get upset at seeing her friend like that. It felt like they were doomed.

“Oceanside can’t get here,” Diane said. “Alexandria either, not in time.”

‘So we fight,’ Nix signed, shrugging a shoulder. She looked to Kelly, her focus on her as Earl took command, giving them instructions. ‘We’ll fight like we did in Jones Springs. But we’re older and stronger now. We can do it.’

Kelly looked at Nix like she couldn’t believe her. ‘What makes you think we can?’

Nix laughed a little. ‘If Silas and his psychotic wife couldn’t kill us, then this Alpha bitch can’t either.’ She kept her eyes level with Kelly, who nodded after a moment, and hugged Nix. Nix returned the hug, trying to ignore how hard she was trying not to tremble. Nix pulled away from Kelly and clasped her hand on her shoulder.

Kelly wiped at her face and offered a watery smile before she followed Nix and Luke to get ready, to gather their weapons and prepare for whatever would come next.

‘Hey,’ Luke signed to Nix. ‘We haven’t had a chance to talk to each other in a while,’

‘I know. I’m sorry,’

‘Don’t be. Are you holding up OK?’ Luke asked, and Nix felt all fond and sad that he cared for her, and they hadn’t had a chance to talk to each other like they used to.

‘I’m doing as good as I can. What about you? Is that Oceanside woman your girlfriend or did you guys go straight to marriage?’

Luke’s face flushed red, and he shoved at Nix’s arm half-heartedly. ‘Shut up. How are things with you and Alden?’

Nix felt her own face start to flush red. ‘It’s going great. Keep yourself alive tonight. I’ll be annoyed with you if you don’t.’

‘Promise,’ Luke signed, and Nix smiled a little, hugging him.

 


 

 

Nix felt like she was full of energy. It was mostly from the nerves. She was sat on the stairs helping the others try and keep the kids occupied. She was teaching them basic ASL, mostly the alphabet and common phrases. Adam was in her lap, munching on a teething toy Judith had offered her when Adam had started to whine.

The front door of Barrington opened, and it felt like Nix’s heart did a weird flop. The Whisperer was there, Mary, and her eyes were on Adam. She started to move towards them, like she couldn’t even see Nix. Then Alden was there, grabbing her attention. His shoulders were tense, and his eyebrows were drawn together. There was a set to his mouth that had Nix a little relieved to see him there. Sure, he was angry that Mary had dared step foot into Barrington, but Nix was ready to fight if need be. She could probably fight someone whilst also holding a baby.

She’d never gotten the chance before.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Nix managed to read off Alden’s lips. He looked over to them, concern on his face. He didn’t like whatever Mary’s answer was. ‘Baby’s her nephew,’ he signed to Nix, then grabbed Mary by her arm and dragged her to the side.

Nix turned her attention back onto Adam, who was watching them. Nix hefted him up as she got to her feet and balanced him on her hip and got his attention. She crossed her eyes at him, then uncrossed them, offering the small child a smile as she looked to Alden and Mary. Aaron had come in and was trying to separate the two.

“You really wanna fight about this right now?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Alden said, not looking away from Mary. “Earl’s a better father than mine was. And we lost Tammy, and then we almost – we almost lost Nix and Enid that same day. He’s been raising that boy alone, for her, and for us. Not for you, he’s not yours. He’ll never be.” Alden turned to look at Aaron, angrier than Nix had ever seen him. “And you think I’m picking a fight? Think I’m being unreasonable?”

Nix didn’t want Alden turning his anger onto Aaron, or Mary really. It was Alpha’s fault that things had gone the way they had. Nix had been lucky enough to try and fight her way out of that barn with Enid in tow. Alden was directing his anger to the wrong people. Hell, even Mary wasn’t really that much at fault.

Feeling like a complete fool, Nix made a loud noise in the back of her throat, trying not to let her cheeks burn. She couldn’t make sounds like others, make words. Hell, she didn’t know how to pronounce Alden’s name, and could barely get Sophia’s name right.

Alden, Aaron and Mary turned to look at her, almost like they’d forgotten she was there. ‘You, here, now,’ she signed at him. Alden deflated at the look on her face, able to see that she was barely holding back her anger and fear. He nodded and relented, following Nix up the stairs.

They got to the landing and Nix walked past Jesus’ makeshift office so that they were out of view of Aaron and Mary. ‘Are you crazy?’ Nix asked as Adam fussed. She put him on the couch, and he chewed on the teething toy, watching them with wide eyes.

‘Me? Were you going to let her hold him?’

‘Not a chance. But you can’t go all half-cocked like that, taking your anger out on the wrong people. Mary is trying her best, even though it makes my skin crawl to look at her,’

Alden clenched his jaw, shutting his eyes for a moment. ‘That’s why I was angry with her. She’s part of the people that took something from you, her people are going to try and kill us all.’

‘I know that. But she’s trying her best to fix those mistakes. Adam might not be hers anymore, but she … she needs to mourn that. We took her family from her.’ Nix signed, trying not to get angry. There was no point in getting angry at each other. ‘She’s helping us for Adam. You can’t be an asshole to her when she’s trying to do right by him.’

Alden nodded, but he still had an angry look to his face, like he couldn’t pull the façade over it like he wanted.

‘I don’t want to fight with you,’ Nix signed, reaching out to put a hand on his face. ‘Getting angry at her or Aaron, at everyone else … it’s not going to solve anything. You use that anger, control it, and you let those assholes coming to kill us know that they’re fucking with the wrong people.’

Nix watched as Alden breathed in and out steadily before he nodded. She opened her arms to him and he all but collapsed in them. She could feel the tension slowly leaving his body, and she held onto him tightly. What use were they going to be if they argued before they died? If one of them died and the other survived, Nix didn’t want their last moments together to be them arguing.

She rested her head on his shoulder, face pressed into his neck. Nix shut her eyes, feeling her body slowly start to relax, the tension in her body slipping away. Alden’s fingers dug into her skin a little, but she paid it no mind; he was shaking a little, maybe from the aftermath of the anger. They’d just argued for the first time, and they both knew it probably wasn’t going to be the last. Relationships were like that, but they’d managed to get through their argument.

Slowly, she pulled away from him, managing to blink back some tears. Alden pressed his forehead against hers before he kissed her.

‘I’m sorry,’ he signed, then turned around and picked up Adam. He babbled at Alden, and grabbed hold of Alden’s ear, his teething toy in his other.

‘I know. We’re all on edge and exhausted. Just don’t take it out on the wrong people.’ Nix signed, and turned her attention onto Adam, tickling at his face. He smiled and laughed, and Nix wished the moment would last forever.

 


 

 

Everyone had been preparing. The sun had settled, and Nix knew it was the night. This was the night that the Whisperers were going to attack the Hilltop. Nix had her bow on her back, quiver on her hips. Her axe was in her hands, and she could feel the tension running through her. The others had prepared defences – electric fences, catapults and wood with metal rods stuck in them. They had retreated to Hilltop when they’d noticed the rats from the forest running; it had indicated the horde was coming.

Nix had her own battle armour on that Earl had made for her. Alden had taken Adam to stay with the other kids inside Barrington. The others around her had their own versions of armour on, leather or metal. She kept herself steady as Sophia and Enid stood next to her. Carl was a few rows down, gripping his melee weapon. On the front row were Aaron’s guards, with their shields.

‘Ready?’ Nix asked Enid.

She looked worried, had a determination set to her jaw. ‘We’re gonna kill these assholes.’

Nix smiled a little. ‘They didn’t get us before, no way in hell they can get us now.’

The two bumped fists, and Nix swallowed her fear.

The sun had set, and her father approached between the rows of fighters. He had his own melee weapon, and he came and stood at the front.

Nix frowned a little and kneeled down, and caught sight of Kelly doing the same, and she put a hand on the ground. Daryl looked back to her, eyebrow raised, and she nodded. It was time. The rumbling got more intense with every second that passed, and Nix breathed in deeply, composing herself. It was going to be a long night.

The shields came into formation, and Nix watched as the horde got closer and closer. Sparks started to fly when the first few walkers got to the electric fence. It was holding up OK. She watched as walkers pressed into it, and then it gave way. Well, it had managed to hold up against the first set of walkers. But now they were coming closer.

They split their ranks into two as the walkers split off into two different directions against the makeshift wall they had made. The walkers started to pile up against them, and Daryl was the first one there, whacking some of the dead.

The guards pressed up against the dead, giving space for people to kill the walkers with their weapons. Nix felt like she turned off her emotions, going through the motions almost methodically. She could see and feel the others around her, felt their body heat, but she kept stabbing at the dead as they started to pile up. She was starting to build up a sweat, but she kept going. The fence was only going to last so long before the walkers broke through it and tried to destroy Hilltop.

The person beside her jerked, flinching away, and Nix flinched as something wet landed on her left side. The man had something dripping on him, and Nix held her left arm up to her arm, sniffing the liquid

‘Tree sap,’ she signed. She frowned a little. She squinted through the dark and saw other people were covered in the sap.

‘What?’ Carl signed to her. ‘Tree sap?’

Nix looked up at the sky and saw small flames flying through the sky. Nix gasped, and then she tackled Carl to the ground as the man beside them burst into flames. The others jerked back as the fence started to light up in flames. The flaming arrows continued to pour down on them, and Nix pulled Carl to his feet, dragging him back towards the Hilltop as the fence gave away. Enid and Sophia were close by, stumbling towards the gates of the Hilltop. They were also covered in the tree sap, and it streaked down their faces.

Everyone else retreated, rushing towards the safety of Hilltop’s gates. More sap and arrows were thrown to the gates of Hilltop, and they struggled to a stop, watching as the walls burst into flames and the vegetables were burned. Carl’s grip on her arm tightened, and Nix felt like her heart stopped.

She turned to look back at the walkers that were still approaching. Nix pressed her lips together tightly and gripped her axe firmly. Carl was pressed against her side, and they moved forwards together, fighting the oncoming horde.

 


 

 

The gates had broken open from the flames, collapsing into miserable piles of flaming wood. Nix had lost Carl in the fight, didn’t know where he had gone. She was quick on her feet, moving to fight the dead, battling with Whisperers. It was too hot in Hilltop; everything was burning to the ground. Barrington House was up in flames, and the majority of the trailers were on fire too.

She couldn’t think about what that meant to her, not yet. Not until everything was done.

Nix came face to face with the skin freak, and she punched first. The freak dodged, but then Nix was moving; she underhooked their arm, stepped through, pivoted, and threw him over her back. He landed on the floor and then Sophia was there, slamming her machete into his head. Nix looked at Sophia, and the two shared a nod before they fought against more of the dead, back to back.

Having Sophia there with her, a real presence kept Nix’s head level. They were both starting to smell something awful, covered in fresh and old blood, tree sap, and sweat. Daryl was at the entrance of Hilltop with some guards, trying to jam up the entrance with walkers.

There were still too many walkers and Whisperers inside of Hilltop, and the smoke and ash was making everything worse. One of the buildings burst into flames, the fireball shooting up into the sky. Nix caught sight of someone small being surrounded by three walkers. She grabbed hold of Sophia and pulled her towards Judith Grimes.

Judith took out the two in front of her and stabbed the other in the side. It collapsed as Nix and Sophia got there, and the skin mask fell off. Nix and Sophia protected Judith with their bodies as they took in their immediate area. The skin freak was begging and crying, and Sophia let out an angry yell before she killed him.

A hand touched Nix, and she flinched, about to kill the person when she realised it was Earl. ‘Take her,’ she signed to Earl, who nodded and led Judith away.

Nix and Sophia still had more fighting to do.

More buildings continued to burst into flames, fire billowing up into the night sky. Nix was preoccupied with slashing at the dead, taking off their heads with her axe. She jerked at a sudden boom and saw one of the walls had fallen. More dead were coming. Nix had lost sight of Sophia.

More and more walkers were filling up Hilltop. Nix kept moving, ignoring how out of breath she was getting, how much her body was starting to ache. The dead were still coming, the fires were still burning – so Nix was still going. The kids had gotten out safe, she knew that much. Earl and some of the other adults had to have known to take them away to safety.

Nix was starting to find it hard to breathe, the smoke and dust filling up her lungs. She swung at another walker and came face to face with Carl. Her heart jolted a little when she caught sight of him. They both had to look like shit.

“We need to go, NOW!” Carl shouted at her, grabbing her arm. They ran through the burning ruins of Hilltop, and Nix looked around, seeing people running, on fire, and being stabbed and stabbed by Whisperers.

Nix and Carl ran through the fire, and there was nothing else they could do. Nix knew Judith was safe with Earl, that the others had gotten the kids. They had to be safe.

The two of them continued to run, vanishing through the trees, the night sky leaving them in vast darkness. There were few strips of moonlight coming through the canopy above them, barely lighting their way. Carl kept a hold on her hand, leading the way. They had to keep moving. Hilltop was no more. There was a rendezvous they had to get to, to come together again for what had to be the final showdown with the Whisperers.

They’d either win or lose.

Carl refused to let them stop for more than five minutes at a time. It was hard. Nix was completely exhausted, her entire body continued to ache, and her feet felt like they had blisters upon blisters. Her quiver was mostly full, and her axe was starting to dry from the blood covering it. Still, they continued walking. Nix didn’t know what to say to Carl; his siblings had been right there, and they didn’t know if they’d gotten to the safe house or not. Nix knew that was the main reason why he was so persistent.

The sun was slowly starting to rise over the horizon, almost lazily. Nix was just glad that it gave them some sunlight. She’d been straining her eyes in the darkness, trying to make sure that they wouldn’t trip on branches or anything that the Whisperers could’ve set. It was tough, exhausting as she continued to walk, trying to match Carl’s pace.

She pushed her fingers through her hair, feeling the dirt and grease and dried sticky blood there, the tree sap sticking to her hair in clumps. God, she was covered in all sorts. She glanced over at Carl, who had a wary look on his face, but he kept walking. Neither of them knew what to say. Hilltop had burned to the ground. What were they going to do? The Hilltop and Kingdom were no more, and there probably wasn’t enough room in Alexandria for all of them. No doubt Beta would take his horde with him to Alexandria and tear it apart. They had to reach the rendezvous, meet with the others again and establish the counterattack.

Carl suddenly grabbed her arm, turning to look behind them, and Nix moved with him, knife held up defensively in her hand, axe by her side in the other, watching the trees rustling. The two were tense, beyond tired, expecting another fight with the Whisperers.

Sophia stumbled out of the trees, covered in dried blood and dirt, and her hair was streaked with blood, making her look manic. Her eyes were wild, and it took a moment before she realised who was looking at her.

‘Sophia,’ Nix signed as Carl said her name, walking towards her. She wrapped him up in a tight hug, and Nix could see the way Sophia’s body was trembling and shaking. Nix watched as Sophia blinked a few times, like she was slowly coming back to them. She looked so far away from them.

“They wouldn’t stop coming.” Nix managed to read off Sophia’s mouth. She pulled away from Carl, looking between him and Nix. “I … I held onto Enid. I tried to keep her with me. But … but she – her hand, it slipped from mine,”

Nix grabbed Sophia, who started to sob into her shoulder. She took the brunt of Sophia’s weight, holding onto her tightly as she continued to sob hard. Sophia kept trying to talk through her sobs, and Nix could see the look on Carl’s face, the way the tears dripped down the side of his face.

After several long minutes, Sophia slowly pried herself from Nix. “When I looked back, I couldn’t see her. She … there were so many walkers. She’s – Nix, she’s left me. She’s gotta be dead.”

Nix put her hands on Sophia’s face and pulled her close, so their foreheads touched. Nix squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hide the pain. Enid couldn’t be dead. She’d fought her way out of that damn barn with Nix. Walkers couldn’t have taken her down. No way in hell. Nix wouldn’t believe it, not until she saw the body.

 

 


 

 

Nix helped Sophia to the steps of the house and sat her down there after taking care of a walker. They’d finally made it to the stupid rendezvous. Nix sat beside Sophia and let her lean against her. They both smelled disgusting, covered in blood and gunk that only God knew what it was from. Carl had gone inside to see the others there and check for any other walkers, and Nix knew he just wanted to see his little brother and sister again. He came out empty handed, and shook his head when Nix asked about Enid. Either she hadn’t made it to the rendezvous or had actually died at Hilltop.

The thought of Enid being dead tore something in Nix’s heart. She couldn’t have died there, without anyone else seeing her go down fighting, without taking the horde and the Whisperers and Alpha with her. Nix couldn’t believe it. After that stupid awful night in the barn, Enid had been angry and determined. She couldn’t be dead. Nix wouldn’t believe it until she saw her body.

Carl sat beside them, letting them know that no-one else had made it. They were the first ones to make it there. They played the long waiting game, waiting for the others to return because it couldn’t just be them three who had survived. Nix held onto Sophia’s hand, letting her hold onto her for as long as she needed. Sophia’s shoulders kept shaking every so often, and Nix knew she was still crying but was trying to stay strong. They hadn’t finished in this goddamn war just yet.

Nix stared out to the woods, desperately needing someone to come out and let them know that they weren’t the last ones standing.

Carl shoved at her arm, and the two of them jumped into action; Nix had an arrow nocked in her bow while Carl held out his melee weapon. Sophia was still on the steps, curling in on herself.

‘Nix!’ Daryl signed, rushing forwards. He held her in a tight hug as Rosita followed after him, hugging Carl. ‘Anyone else here?’

‘No, it’s just us.’

Nabila started to cry in Jerry’s arms and Nix looked to her father. ‘The kids aren’t here,’ she signed, realising why Nabila was so emotional. ‘I saw Earl get Judith. Him or Ezekiel must have them somewhere safe.’

Daryl looked to the others then back to Nix. ‘I’m going to go with Jerry back to Hilltop, try and find Ezekiel. There was a lot of smoke … and he has cancer. I don’t know if he got out.’

Nix nodded. ‘You come back safe and with those damn kids.’ She pointed her finger at him, and Daryl gave her a nod, pulled her head in close to his shoulder for a brief hug before he and Jerry set off.

Sophia got to her feet, wiping at her face, sniffling, and walked over to Nabila, leading her inside as she spoke to her quietly. Carl and Nix moved to the side and gestured for the injured to go into the house to wait for the others. Rosita came and stood beside them, refusing to rest. She was stubborn like them, needing to see the others were safe before she could rest easy.

Waiting with nothing else to look at other than the trees felt like it took an age. With hunting, it was different for Nix. This was different. Her fingers tapped on her axe, impatient as she waited for the others to return. It felt like hours had passed by when Nix suspected it was just mere minutes. Carl was getting more impatient by the second, desperate for his siblings. Nix wondered why he hadn’t gone with Daryl and Jerry. Maybe it was so that there were more people to defend the injured in case Beta or some other Whisperers or their horde came across them.

Nix couldn’t quite remember the last time she had had any sleep. She didn’t need any right now, the adrenaline pushing her forwards, keeping her going. When this was over, Nix knew she would collapse on a bed and sleep for an age.

Daryl reappeared after a few hours, followed by Jerry, Ezekiel and the kids. Relief flooded Nix as she saw Judith and RJ race towards Carl. RJ looked happy to see him, but there was something sad in Judith’s features.

Nix crouched down and let Judith come and sit beside her.

“Earl … he got bit,” Judith said slowly. “And I thought I should tell you. He tried to stop himself, but in the end,” Judith wiped at her face and Nix nodded, understanding. She pulled the little girl into her side and kissed the top of her head.

‘It’s OK,’ Nix signed. ‘I can tell Alden. You go inside with your brothers.’

Judith looked up at her with eyes too bright and emotions displayed clearly in her face. She nodded up at Judith before she took Carl’s hand and followed him inside.

Other people started to arrive now, in a steady stream. The injured started to arrive in groups, limping and aching. Rosita led them inside. Eugene was next, and he had hugged Rosita hard when she spotted him. Two others followed after him closely.

‘Magna,’ Nix signed, feeling her heart leap. Magna smiled at her tiredly despite the blood covering her from head to toe. There was a defeated look on her face, but she hugged Nix. Nix could hardly believe that Magna was there, was real and in her arms. Nix looked over at Yumiko over Magna’s shoulder, and there was a sad look on her face. She could question the two of them later, once everything was done with.

If Magna got out, it meant Connie had a fighting chance too.

‘I’m glad you’re alive,’ Nix signed to her, and Magna nodded, a small smile pulling at her lips. She let go of Nix and let Yumiko lead her inside.

Aaron came by with a few stragglers and an unconscious Luke. He had gotten Luke onto some metal board and had gotten some rope to pull him along with. Rosita took to him, making sure Luke was OK before she helped Aaron get him inside.

Nix sat down on the steps and waited for the rest.

Maybe half an hour later, Nix spotted Kelly through the trees. She jumped to her feet, heart beating hard. There was a bandage on Kelly’s neck, but she looked otherwise unharmed. Kelly spotted her, turned to speak to her companion, then ran to Nix.

Nix stumbled a little on the impact, but wrapped her arms around Kelly tightly, hiding her face in Kelly’s shoulder. They swayed a little before Nix pulled away from her. Kelly smiled, then turned to shout over her shoulder.

‘Hey, Magna’s inside,’ Nix signed to Kelly, who brightened up at the information.

Alden appeared, and came rushing towards them, holding Adam in his arms. Kelly was quick to take Adam from Alden before he hugged Nix, pulling her into a kiss.

‘The kids?’ he asked, eyes searching her face.

‘They’re all OK. Earl got them out,’ she signed, and grimaced a little, knowing what she had to tell Alden. ‘He was bitten getting them out. Judith stopped him after he turned. I’m sorry.’ Nix felt the back of her eyes burn as Alden’s composure started to break. She pulled him close and hugged him, letting him cling to her as he sobbed into her shoulder, fingers digging into the skin on her back. He had been there for her as she dealt with what happened to her and Enid in the barn, and she was going to be there for him as he mourned the loss of the man he’d thought of as a father. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding onto Alden tightly, taking his weight as he continued to cry.

Nix let Alden hold onto her for as long as he needed, letting him be the one to pull away from her. ‘He died a hero,’ Alden signed, fingers shaky. He wiped at his face, but Nix could see the tear tracks, the redness and puffiness around his eyes. The way his chin still trembled as he tried to compose himself.

‘He did. And there’s something else,’

The dread flooded Alden’s face, and Nix had a hard time trying not to burst into tears. ‘We think Enid died. Sophia … she was with her, said that Enid was fighting with her, she tried to keep her with her. They … Sophia said her hand slipped from hers. When she looked back, she couldn’t see Enid.’

Kelly looked upset and walked away, up into the house, taking Adam with her. Alden pulled Nix into a hug, and they held onto each other, mourning the lost, the ones they cared about. They could only mourn for so long before they had to get back into action, to finish the war.

Chapter 22: Wait and Fight

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The others had plans put into place. Nix was inside with the others, helping tend to minor wounds. They didn’t have Enid with them, so there wasn’t much else Nix could do. They couldn’t find Alex either, the other medic who trained under Enid’s hand; if Enid was dead, who was going to help care for the injured, to treat wounds? Nix couldn’t think that far ahead; all she could think about was right now, and that would have to do.

Nix looked up to see Eugene trying to grab people’s attention. Nix frowned and watched. It was hard to try and lip read what he was saying, what with how he spoke jargon she didn’t understand, or how his mouth barely moved. Others started to talk, annoyed expressions presumably matching their tones, and Nix didn’t know what they were talking about. She looked over to see Carl holding his siblings while Sophia leaned against him, eyes on Eugene but it was like she wasn’t paying attention to him. Carol still hadn’t come to the rendezvous with Yumiko and the others. It was like Carol had run off from them. Nix wondered how Carol could hurt her daughter like this, so often. Did she even realise she was abandoning Sophia?

Eugene managed to wrangle Ezekiel and Yumiko to go along with him on his trip. Magna had told Nix what it was for: he had been talking to another person, and said person had a community. They needed any and all help from whoever those people were, so they had to risk it. Either for the Whisperers, or for what came after. Nix had a sneaking suspicion that it would be for what came after; the Whisperer threat felt too close, and Eugene’s friend would need to develop trust, and their community would need to trust Eugene before risking everything to help them.

Daryl had gone, trying to find Negan after everything that had happened at Hilltop. Lydia had appeared at the rendezvous late, and she had told him what Negan had done to her, he’d knocked her out and tied her up for her mother. Except Alpha had never arrived, so Lydia had made a run for it. Nix thought it was a little odd that Carol still hadn’t arrived, despite being with Yumiko, Magna and Eugene. She had to have gone off on purpose, and it made Nix’s stomach tie itself in knots as her mind raced on all the potentials. Still, Daryl had promised her that he would come back, and had hugged her before leaving. All Nix could do was nod and let him go; she was needed there, with her people. Kelly nudged her with her elbow, offering silent comfort before she let Nix tend to the wound on her neck.

‘How did this happen?’ she asked, gesturing to the wound as she rewrapped it.

Kelly shrugged. ‘I don’t know. The Whisperers were coming right at us. It must’ve happened when I tried getting away. Alden patched me up.’

Nix nodded and finished up. She glanced over to Sophia, who was holding one of Jerry’s kids. She pressed her lips together as she looked at her friend. Ezekiel had said his goodbyes to her, trying to be kind and sympathetic as he told her he was going with Eugene. Sophia had nodded and turned away from him. It was like she was in shock, almost catatonic. There was only so much that Sophia could deal with before it destroyed her. Nix was worried it was already starting to break her. First her mother, then her girlfriend, and now her adoptive father.

‘I’m worried about her,’ Nix signed to Kelly. ‘We haven’t found Enid, and we don’t know if she’s alive or not.’

‘She’s having a rough time. Carol’s gone, Ezekiel’s left, and she doesn’t know if Enid’s OK or not. She’s … trying to deal with it. Like you were with Hazel.’

The mention of Hazel sent a sharp pain through Nix’s chest, and she almost flinched at the mere mention of her. They didn’t talk about Hazel often. Sometimes it hurt too much, and other times Nix didn’t want the past to hold her down when she had to continue on from it. Nix thought about Hazel every day and had slowly started to come to terms with the fact that her former girlfriend was dead and gone. Nix had barely had time to mourn Hazel, with their group constantly moving. She hadn’t even been able to bury Hazel. Nix had to push aside the thoughts of Hazel; she couldn’t let it distract her, not now.

‘I know. It’s … too similar.’ The thoughts made her uncomfortable, how similar their situations had to be; Nix had lost Hazel after their last community had fallen, and most of their group had died. They’d been separated from the others. Now Sophia had lost Enid, and they had watched Hilltop at the hands of the Whisperers, and they were all scattered and scared.

Enid had to be alive. Nix believed it.

 


 

 

They’d had to wait, to recover. They only let themselves have the one night before they set off towards Alexandria. They knew what would happen to Alexandria, that it would probably be attacked with hordes of the dead, but they had a backup plan: the tower. That would be the final destination for them, where they could hide safely until they could get rid of the horde at Oceanside.

Alden was sat outside, and Nix walked over to him, crouching down in front of him. He wiped at his face, but his eyes were red, and the tears streaked down his cheeks. Nix reached over and wiped at a few stray tears, offering a meek smile. She threaded her fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face. She pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Adam,” he said weakly when Nix pulled away to look at him.

‘We can take him in. Earl would want it, you want it. I want him to be safe, and if that’s with us, then it’s with us.’

Alden nodded and lowered his head. Nix stood back up and let him press his head against her stomach. Nix sighed a little and glanced outwards towards the forests. It was peaceful, but it wasn’t going to last.

‘Come on,’ Nix signed once she’d pulled away from Alden. ‘We have to get ready.’ She gave him a hand up, and then Alden tensed up, hand going for his knife. Nix picked up her axe and turned around, only to see her father and a man she didn’t know there.

‘This is Negan,’ Daryl signed to her, and Nix clenched her jaw as she looked at the man. All the stories she heard, how he’d murdered Glenn and Abraham, tortured her father, humiliated Carl and nearly killed them all … he didn’t quite look like what Nix had pictured. She had pictured a bulky, near bald man. She’d imagined the baseball bat covered in barbed wire; the thing named Lucille.

Negan grinned at her and Alden, and he pointed at them, saying something. Daryl’s eyebrows came together, and he glared at Negan. Nix’s eyebrows pulled close as her expression matched her father’s. She didn’t know what he said, but she knew it had to be nothing good.

‘We need to go to Alexandria,’ Daryl signed. ‘Now.’

Nix nodded and turned around and made her way into the small building and grabbed her gear. Sophia clambered to her feet and handed Adam over to her. ‘Negan is outside,’ she signed to Sophia. Her face contorted in anger, and she shook her head. She turned her head and said something to Carl, who got to his feet, frustration on his face.

They helped everyone else get ready, and then they were making their way to Alexandria. Carol still hadn’t come to the rendezvous, so they had to figure that she would meet them up in Alexandria. Sophia was still angry and miserable, mourning Enid and fuming that her parents were gone. At least Ezekiel had told her why he was going, and that he cared about her. Hell, they’d even hugged before Ezekiel departed with Eugene and Yumiko.

Maybe Sophia was no longer in catatonic shock, but that didn’t bode well for how she’d deal with her anger and frustration. She was going to be in the most danger, they were in the eye of the storm. Nix had to keep an eye on her friend, to make sure she wouldn’t die or do something she’d live to regret.

Nix frowned and looked over to the person who had sidled up beside her. They were taking the long trek to Alexandria, and Negan was still free. He didn’t have any restrictions, hands free. He came up and started walking at her pace. Great.

“You deaf?” he asked, gesturing to her and then her ears. She raised an eyebrow at him, surprised that he even dared to try and talk to her. Daryl would be more than willing to knock him on his ass, and Nix knew Alden, Carl and Sophia would be furious at Negan for even daring to try and talk to Nix. But Negan sure as hell didn’t know sign language, so what conversation could they even have?

Nix nodded at Negan’s question, still unsure of why he was daring to try and talk to her.

“Cool. You always been deaf?”

Nix nodded again. Negan seemed … less egotistical than she had anticipated. Maybe all those years imprisoned had actually been effective. Or maybe he just didn’t know how to act around her, so was being cautious. Besides, the others were giving him dirty looks, so it wasn’t like he was going to be how he used to be.

“So how does that work? You got some kind of superpowers?”

‘Stupid.’ She held her hand up, forefinger and middle finger up, thumb on the ring finger, and moved her hand to her forehead in a quick motion. Negan frowned at her, not knowing what the sign meant.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Carl laugh. Negan turned to look at him. “She called you stupid,” he said, signing along so Nix knew part of the conversation. She shot him a smile, and Carl nodded to her.

“Stupid?” Negan asked, mimicking her sign poorly. She rolled her eyes a little, then repeated the sign slowly for him. Negan copied her and grinned when he did it right. It was hard to see that this was the man who had done all of those awful things. But Nix kept her guard up as she allowed herself to entertain him and tell him a few basic signs, knowing just how deceiving appearances could be. Negan could very easily try and take advantage of her and kill her, should he decide he wanted to. Nix knew not to get too close to him.

 


 

 

Alexandria looked a little worse for wear. The Alexandrians let them inside and gave Negan a wary look as he was brought in alongside them. They were tense and worried. Rick and Michonne had been waiting there for their kids to arrive. Michonne had all but scooped the younger ones up into her arms as Carl pulled his father into a rough hug.

“We don’t have a lot of time to spare. The horde is coming,” Rick said to them all, and it still shocked Nix how much he had changed since Atlanta, since the damn farm, and it wasn’t just his age. “We gather up as many supplies as we can, and we head to the tower. The tower is stronger than Alexandria or its walls, so that’s where we can keep our children and wounded. The horde should go to Oceanside once Beta sees we have deserted Alexandria.”

Nix felt a faint smile on her face, glad that they were going to end it.

“We only have a few hours here before we head to the tower. Personal objects do not count, we have to leave them here.”

Well, it wasn’t like Nix had many personal objects. All she had were her weapons and the clothes on her back. She looked to Sophia beside her and could see her slowly returning to them. Anger and distress was slowly starting to show on her face, and Nix reached over to take hold of her hand. Sophia didn’t look at her, but squeezed Nix’s hand tightly, like she was scared to let go of her.

Aaron volunteered to stay behind, to wait for Beta and the horde to come, to let Rick and everyone else know the whereabouts and when it would be estimated to arrive at Oceanside. Rick acknowledged it and accepted it, asking someone to volunteer to keep Aaron’s back safe. Alden offered himself up, and Nix tried to ignore the twist in her chest at the idea of them being separated when the horde would come. She knew that they were both capable, that they didn’t need to look out for each other, but the idea of being able to would ease Nix’s mind. Still, she knew that Aaron and Alden would look out for each other.

Rick thanked Alden for volunteering, though did cast Nix a look before he returned to Michonne and his kids. Carl moved over to them; comforting RJ as Judith looked up at her parents with a determined look on her face that matched her brother’s when he was her age.

‘Hey,’ Alden signed when he came over to Nix and Sophia. ‘Sorry. I should’ve said something to you. But I need to help Aaron. I’m not going to be of any use in the tower, not like you or –’

‘It’s OK. I wouldn’t expect anything different,’ Nix signed, cutting him off. She’d had to let go of Sophia’s hand, and the woman had walked off, in the direction of the Grimes family. ‘If you get killed, I’ll not be impressed,’

Alden smiled and nodded, huffing a breath of laughter. ‘I know. I’ll keep you in mind, with that little frown you do when you’re unimpressed,’

Nix raised an eyebrow at him, but she couldn’t help but smile a little. ‘You’re ridiculous,’

‘You love it.’

She couldn’t help rolling her eyes a little, fond of his teasing. ‘I’ll keep Adam safe while you’re gone. But you’re on diaper duty when you get back.’

Alden pulled a face, nose all scrunched up and eyebrows coming together.

 


 

 

The tower was old and musty, but it served its purpose. It was attached to another large building, but the tower was their stronghold. The kids were safe tucked away in one of the rooms as the rest of the adults got ready.

Nix sat down beside Carl, feeling her knees pop at the movement. She felt like she was getting old, which itself was a luxury in their world.

‘How are you feeling?’ Nix asked, desperate for a brief distraction. Her mind kept going back to Alden and Aaron, who had stayed behind in Alexandria to await the horde. The gates of Alexandria wouldn’t withstand the horde, and Nix kept thinking about how they could die.

‘Better than you, it seems,’ he signed. ‘Are you OK?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder, hands fiddling with her knives. Her axe was by her side and her quiver was still wrapped around her hips; bow tucked away on her back. She had yet to take her own battle armour off that Earl had made for her. Now that he was dead, she wanted to keep something in his memory.

‘I could be better,’ she admitted. She watched as Judith came up to them, speaking to her brother, all mumbles and barely moving mouth. Nix didn’t mind; it was a private conversation she wasn’t privy to. Carl patted his thighs and Judith sat on his leg, resting her head on his shoulder. Nix watched as Carl put his arms around his little sister, talking into her hair. He took the hat off his head and put it on Judith’s.

Nix sighed a little, patted Carl’s knee and got up, leaving the two siblings alone in peace. She spotted Kelly signing with Gabriel, teaching him basic signs that would be useful for what they had ahead of them. Nix found herself standing by the window, waiting for the horde to appear. She moved her bow and held it in her hands, the riser a comfort.

Luke walked up to her in her line of sight. She raised her head a little and offered a small smile.

‘Sometimes I forget how much you’ve grown since we first met,’ Luke signed to her, and her heart twisted. ‘Sometimes when I look at you, I still see that little girl who saved my life in that cold winter.’

‘Don’t get emotional on me,’ she signed, scared as to what it could mean that Luke was talking about this. It felt almost like a goodbye, in case the worst came to fruition.

‘I’m not. Promise. I just … need you to know this,’ Luke smiled at her. ‘I’m so proud of you, and how far you’ve come, over every obstacle and difficulty that you’ve faced.’ Nix pulled him into a tight hug, resting her head on his shoulder. God, she was taller than him now – when did that happen? She could still remember when she was a head shorter than him.

Nix was terrified that Luke would die; he’d been her long-time friend, a father figure when she didn’t have one. Connie was gone, and her motherly presence had gone along with it. She wasn’t sure if she could take losing Luke. They’d already lost Connie and Enid.

‘You be careful and make sure your musical talents are put to good use.’

‘Oh, don’t you worry, I’ve got a few plans.’ Luke grinned at her, and Nix gave him a small smile in return. He patted her arm before he walked off to talk to that lady from Oceanside, Jules. Nix didn’t know Jules that well, but at least Luke had found a new friend, and maybe something more with her.

Nix waited by the window, watching for the horde just in case things went sideways. Alden and Aaron would radio in on their findings, and give them a heads up, should they need it. Part of her felt useless, like all she could do was wait for shit to hit the fan. Part of her pretended that she was hunting; hunting often required waiting a lot of the time, whether it be prey to come across her snares or her line of sight. She gripped her bow tightly, fingers itching for her arrows, to shoot something. Maybe she should turn Negan into her target for practice.

She watched as Judith walked by, holding onto Sophia’s hand as she led her through the tower. Negan was walking around, fiddling with something in his hands. There were others stationed around the windows, keeping an eye out, acting as guards. Nix needed to be like that, to help. It stressed her out not helping in any other way than keeping watch. She couldn’t help Luke; she didn’t quite understand how the boom boxes worked, or how to rewire them. Kelly and Carol went on a run for Luke. Daryl had been gone for a while now, and Nix wondered when he would return.

Sophia came and stood beside Nix, resting her head on her shoulder. Nix slipped her arm around Sophia, holding her close, trying to give her some silent comfort. Sophia sighed, almost slumping against Nix. It was hard to try and comfort Sophia when Nix adamantly believed that Enid was still out there somewhere, maybe trapped or hidden away. Sophia wouldn’t believe it until she saw the body, and then that would destroy her.

Sophia lifted her head up and looked in the direction of the others. Gabriel was talking into the radio, eyebrows pulled together. ‘He’s talking to Alden and Aaron. The horde is heading to Oceanside, like they predicted.’ Nix nodded and let Sophia rest her head on her shoulder again. She shut her eyes briefly, heaving a sigh. Aaron and Alden were doing right by the group, but it didn’t mean that the others didn’t worry about them. Aaron’s daughter, Gracie, kept wandering around, looking a little lost on what to do.

Sophia pulled away from Nix, wiped her face and put on a smile as she went to talk to Gracie. She was trying to be strong, but Nix could see right through her. She gave her credit though, pushing aside her pain to be strong for Gracie. Nix watched as Lydia stormed past her, and Nix leaned over to watch her go and confront Negan.

Negan had killed her mother, cut her head off for Carol to put on a pike. Nix watched the two, how Lydia started to yell in his face. She turned away from them, knowing Lydia needed to get it out of her system, to shout and scream at Negan for taking her mom away. She had been abusive, and she had manipulated and loved her daughter all at the same time. Lydia could hate her mother, but she still loved her.

Nix’s heart jolted, and she peered out of the window. In the distance, she could see something, like a swarm. A panicked noise came out of her mouth, and then Carl was there, asking what was wrong. She pointed out of the window, to that swarm.

‘The horde,’ he signed shakily. Carl turned to look at the others. “The horde’s coming!” he shouted.

Everyone jumped into action.

Nix rushed with the others down the stairs, but they knew they were too late; the walkers had gotten past the wagon, blocking them off from it. She rushed with Carl and the others, getting Carol, Kelly, Daryl and Judith to safety. Carl pulled his sister up in his arms as Nix rushed and kicked away the walkers, dragging her father inside.

Daryl locked the door, and they moved through the small area to the stairwell, shutting the door to it.

‘Are you OK?’ Nix asked of her father, heart pounding. He nodded and pointed at her. She nodded too and led the others back up to the tower so that they could get supplies for the stairwell. Nail bombs would do. Nix helped Daryl make them before he and Carol left to set them up in the stairwell. Once they had returned, Gabriel summoned them in a small group, explaining the plan now that things had changed.

“Our plan is the same, we lead the horde away, just not from Oceanside as we had planned. Once the walkers are clear, we evacuate to Rendezvous Point B. Luke, we ready?”

Nix looked at Luke, who seemed a little overwhelmed by the music players he had in front of him.

Luke nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Uh, technically,” he said, hands moving to sign along, and Nix could see how shaky he was. “So, these are the final pieces that we need to connect to the wagon. But in order for it to do the pied piper thing that we need it to do over the cliff, we gotta get from A to B, and I gotta plug and plug, and then we should be good to go.” Nix offered Luke a reassuring smile when he knocked on his head. Knock on wood, she thought to herself, and felt herself knocking on her own head.

“That wagon is on the other side of the horde,” Magna pointed out.

Nix knew what that meant. ‘Walk through the horde,’

Carl looked to her. “With the Whisperers inside of it?” he asked as Jerry made a similar remark.

“Four groups,” Gabriel instructed. “Two in each. One carries the cargo, one protects. It’s crucial that all the equipment makes it to the wagon.”

Lydia nodded her head, and Nix looked over to see her saying something. ‘We can make it through,’ Carl signed, quick to translate for Nix. ‘She says she’ll help.’

One of the women from Oceanside shifted on her feet, clearly uncomfortable with Lydia’s offer of help. “We’re willing, but not if she goes.” Nix rolled her eyes. She trusted Lydia, even though she hadn’t talked to her much. Her father trusted Lydia, and that was enough for Nix.

“And we know she’s earned trust with you but,” the leader of Oceanside continued, “Oceanside isn’t ready.”

‘I’ll go,’ Nix signed, and Daryl vetoed it.

‘Nix, you might not hear the Whisperers approach, and you’re better up here, getting them from afar.’ Daryl gave her a look, and she knew not to push it.

“That’s fine, as it happens, Lydia’s role is in here, as is Nix’s,” Gabriel said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Daryl looked at the ground before he looked at the group. “Look, we’re not all gonna make it through. But this is the only way.”

‘If Daryl’s going, then so am I,’ Kelly signed, and gave Nix a nod. She’d look out for Nix’s father, and Daryl would look out for Kelly. They’d bonded over the last few days, especially over losing Connie. Luke, Jules, Carol, Jerry, Magna and the woman from Oceanside volunteered to go. Nix was going to be with the other archers, in the windows of the tower, taking out the Whisperers that Lydia would point out to them.

Nix went to gather some more arrows with Dianne and Bertie. It was finally happening; they were going to finish this war with the Whisperers. She finished up getting her arrows and looked around to see Carol approaching. She had a sympathetic look on her face, and Nix walked past her with Bertie, who was definitely annoyed with the woman. Carol grabbed Nix’s arm, and she turned to look at her, anger lining her face.

“Negan helped them attack Hilltop,” Dianne said as Nix pulled her arm from Carol’s grip. “That couldn’t have happened –”

“Dianne, I know. And I’m sorry about that.”

‘You helped to destroy our home, using Negan the way you did. You helped them destroy our home. And you got Connie killed. You’ve left your damn daughter and now she’s lost her girlfriend and she’s lost Ezekiel. She has no-one except for me.’

Carol stared at Nix, who refused to back down. Nix could remember the shy, Bambi-like woman that she used to be. But that had long gone. When was the last time Carol had cared for Sophia? Offered her sorrow for losing Enid. When did Carol last hug her daughter?

“She has me,”

‘Prove it.’ Nix stalked away from her, feeling annoyed and angry. She had to direct those feelings towards the Whisperers, to ensure that they wouldn’t win this war. Lydia moved past her to talk to Carol. Nix made her way downstairs and helped Luke and the others cover themselves in walker guts. It smelled something awful, but they were about to go into something much worse. The least they could do is stink.

‘You be careful out there,’ Nix signed to Luke once he’d finished putting guts on Jules’ back.

‘Of course. You be careful up there,’

Nix smiled a little, shaking her head at him. She looked to Jules, who looked confused. She hadn’t yet learned sign language. ‘You keep an eye on him for me,’

Jules looked confused, but then Luke was there, quick to tell her what Nix said. She nodded, looking to Nix before crossing her heart. Nix smiled a little.

Negan came through the door, clean as a whistle. He was supposed to help lead them through but had refused, knowing how Beta would zero in on him and endanger the rest of the group. Nix bumped fists with her father as a form of goodbye, watching as he and the others went inside the small area. Nix put her arm over Judith’s shoulders, watching as she and Daryl shared a moment. Lydia was behind them, looking nervous before Nix reached over to pull the blanket over the glass in the door.

The vibrations from the horde outside made Nix’s skin crawl, and then the smell wafted through the gaps in the door. They were off, going into the horde.

Nix led Judith back up to the others and told her to stay with her brothers. Judith nodded, signing RJ’s name, then ‘protect’. Nix let her go to her younger brother as she made her way to the windows. She nocked an arrow, breathing feeling heavy. She could see the hoods of their people in the huge horde. She squinted, trying to spot the Whisperers.

Lydia pointed beside her, and Nix nodded, drawing the arrow back. She anchored to her face as she aimed for the lungs, then let the arrow loose. It whizzed past Daryl and Kelly and landed in its target. The Whisperer fell, and the close walkers turned on the Whisperer, devouring the freak.

“Brown plaid shirt, wound,” Gabriel said to Nix, who nodded, taking another arrow from her quiver, nocking and drawing back. Her eyes zeroed in on the brown plaid shirt and aimed for his shoulder. It went further right, catching the Whisperer by the collarbone, but it did its job. The Whisperer jerked backwards, away from their people who had to be Jerry and Magna. Dianne was beside her, and the leader from Oceanside was at the other window with her own bow.

Nix saw one big walker turn to look up at the windows, and she ducked out of the way behind the curtain. That had to be Beta. She risked another look and saw the horde tie in closer together. It made it close to impossible to try and hit one of the Whisperers. Nix looked to Lydia, raising her eyebrow. “Beta knows they’re in there.”

There wasn’t anything else that Nix could do now. She looked to Dianne, who could only offer a shrug of her shoulders before they jumped at an explosion. Some of the Whisperers had gotten inside to the stairwell.

Nix rushed with Carl to the doors that led to the stairwell, and they caught up to Judith. Carl put his arms around his sister, as she said something. The Whisperers were close, in the stairwell. The hair on Nix’s arms rose, and she knew the end was close.

‘Block it off,’ Nix ordered. Carl followed her instructions and they, and several other archers helped to block off the doors with the objects available – chests, desks, anything that they could pile up against it. Nix would have to stay and defend the tower until she died. They had to evacuate the others, give them as much time as was needed.

Nix and Carl were stood together and watched as the Whisperers tried to break down the door. Judith went to get Dog and take him somewhere safe. Nix had an arrow nocked in place, ready for whatever the Whisperers were going to do. Gabriel returned telling them about the evacuation as something was thrown into the hall. Nix recognised it, hell she’d made it herself: one of their nail bombs.

Carl collided with her, knocking her to the side, out of the way. Nix landed on her side roughly, head slamming into the concrete floor as the explosion from the nail bomb went off. Nix blinked, trying to get her eyes to focus. Gabriel and Rachel, Oceanside’s leader, were beside them. Nix pushed Carl off her and saw that the other two archers were nothing more than blood spatters and chunks of flesh.

They got to their feet, and Nix looked around the corner. They hadn’t come through yet. But there was still time. Nix helped Carl to his feet. They were quick to block off the hole the Whisperers had made. The others were evacuating, getting to safety, to the rendezvous point Gabriel had told them to go to.

‘Are you staying?’ Sophia asked Nix, seeing the last of them leave down the rope. ‘I’m staying if you are.’

Nix looked to Gabriel before she nodded. ‘Gabriel needs help, to make sure they don’t cut the rope and follow the others.’

Sophia gave a nod, then looked to Judith and Carl. “Go. You take care of her and RJ. We’ve got this, Carl.”

He looked at the two before he nodded, giving them both a quick hug before he got his sister to leave down the rope. Nix nocked an arrow in her bow, standing with her feet shoulder width apart, then drew the arrow back, anchoring to her face. Gabriel was by her side, and Sophia was on his other side, holding up a shotgun that matched Gabriel’s.

This was it.

Nix could only watch as the board in the door handles broke open and the Whisperers pushed through, knocking everything aside. Gabriel fired at the first Whisperer, who was blown backwards. The second one took an arrow to the heart, and then Sophia and Gabriel were shooting as quickly as they could. Nix threw her bow aside and grabbed her axe. There were more Whisperers than the three of them, and Nix knew they were going to be overwhelmed. All she could do was act.

She swung her axe, and it took half the Whisperer’s face off, and they collapsed at her feet. Another one took its place as Gabriel was swamped by two, and Sophia was dealing with her own stubborn Whisperer.

The Whisperers knocked Gabriel off his feet as Nix’s Whisperer pushed her backwards into the wall, and she felt her head slam into the concrete once more. She kicked and punched, trying to get out of the Whisperer’s grip. She headbutted the Whisperer, and then grabbed at the shirt they were wearing and twisted, swinging the Whisperer over her back. An arrow shot through the air and landed in the skull of the Whisperer. Nix looked up, and her jaw dropped. During her scuffle with the Whisperer, she hadn’t seen a masked person arrive, and she hadn’t seen Maggie Greene come through the doors.

Maggie walked towards Gabriel and gave him a helping hand up, and he hugged her. Nix smiled a little, surprised to see Maggie there. God, she’d aged too, beautifully.

‘You good?’ Sophia signed to Nix, coming over to pry the arrow from the skull of the Whisperer.

‘My head hurts.’

Sophia laughed and rubbed at Nix’s forehead, rolling her eyes. Nix looked over at the masked person and watched as Aaron appeared and gave the person an odd look. Alden came rushing up the stairs, and the relief flooded his face as he ran to Nix. He pulled her into a hug, and she held onto him tightly, glad he was alive.

He pulled away from her, eyes going to Nix’s forehead. He wiped at it, and his hand came up red from blood. Eh, she’d hit her head a few times, blood was bound to happen. So long as she didn’t get a concussion. Nix turned her attention onto Maggie and saw the woman staring at her with wide eyes, shock clear in her face.

“Nix?” she asked tentatively. She nodded and then Maggie was hugging her, muttering into her shoulder. Maggie pulled away enough to look at her, keeping her hands on Nix’s shoulders firmly. “You’re here,”

The others laughed a little, and Maggie was quick to introduce them to her friend, Elijah.

‘Everyone should be at the rendezvous point,’ Nix signed, and the others agreed. Gabriel led them out of the tower and towards the rendezvous. Maggie kept close to Sophia and Nix, and she kept looking at Nix like she was seeing a ghost. It had to be odd, seeing her after all these years. Nix had barely gotten used to being around Sophia and her father again.

Alden’s hand found its way into Nix’s, and she looked to him, offering a smile as she squeezed his hand.

Notes:

Apologies for the delay, I've been working on an AU for Nix that I'm excited about, and I've had a lot of things going on. Please enjoy and happy reading!

Chapter 23: To Rebuild and Reunite

Chapter Text

Their group made their way to the rendezvous point. Alden held onto Nix’s hand, and she didn’t want to let go. It felt surreal; they had fought the Whisperers, and now that horde was gone, off over a cliff. Nix needed to know that her father was OK, that Magna and Luke were good too.

The sunlight slowly started to break through the sky. Nix wondered how far the horde had gotten, how things were going for everyone. Nix couldn’t stop thinking about the others, hoping that they were fine, were still alive. That they hadn’t been killed in their attempt to get rid of the horde. Gabriel led them towards the rendezvous, eager to get back to Rosita and her daughter, Coco.

The sun continued to rise up into the sky, and soon enough, they had made it to the others. Aaron rushed off to find Gracie as Sophia wandered over to Carl, who was ready for her, arms open so that she could fall into his embrace. Nix knew the two of them had to have gone through thick and thin. Nix looked to Carl, only for him to shake his head. Enid hadn’t gotten to the rendezvous like the rest of them. Did he think she was dead?

Maggie turned her attention onto Alden, speaking to him. Nix didn’t leave Alden’s side but turned her attention onto the people around them. They were only a small portion of the survivors, other survivors at other points, safely dispersed because of the horde. Nix wanted to know where her father was, where Luke and Magna were.

Maggie’s friend, Elijah, kept at a fair distance from the others, but kept his masked eyes on Maggie, like he was ready to protect her should harm dare go her way. Aaron returned, with Gracie in tow, and Maggie looked to them and crouched in front of Gracie, greeting her. Nix looked over and saw Carl approaching with his younger siblings, and was holding Adam. As Judith hugged Maggie, Carl came over and handed Adam to Alden, saying something to him. Alden nodded and looked over to where Sophia was tending to her wounds, ignoring Marco who was trying to get her to talk to him.

‘Luke and Magna got back, they’re both OK. So is your dad.’ Carl told Nix.

‘Where?’

Carl led Nix away and through the others. Luke looked over, hearing their approach, and he jumped to his feet and wrapped Nix up in a hug. Nix felt a laugh come out of her mouth as she returned the hug, glad that he made it back in one piece. Magna and Kelly came over and got hugs of their own. They were mostly all back together again. They didn’t mention Connie, still missing, or Yumiko, who had gone for help.

Daryl appeared in Nix’s vision, and they shared a look, glad to have the other alive, before he pulled her into a rough hug. He smelled awful, his hair and beard tickled at her skin, but it felt like she was almost home. She squeezed him, trying to let him know everything she thought and felt. He squeezed her back, and she figured it would do. Dixons weren’t good with words anyway.

‘Look,’ Magna signed, pointing to her right when the two Dixons pulled away from each other. Nix followed her direction and saw Lydia and Carol approaching.

“It is. Thanks to her,”

“And her,”

Nix looked to her father, and he quickly informed her of what happened, and that Beta was dead. The horde was gone, lost to the ocean.

‘Thanks all around, people. I can’t believe we pulled it off.’ Nix felt something in her chest as she watched Luke hug Jules. She turned away from them and was surprised to see Negan there. Negan said something to Lydia, who hugged him.

Carol moved over to the two Dixons and asked something of Daryl, who nodded. Nix eyed up Carol, eyebrows pulling close together, watching as she let the emotions flood her face. Daryl hugged Carol before he pulled away from her. “Sophia needs you,” he said. “And maybe New Mexico is still out there.”

Nix frowned. What was important about New Mexico?

‘Sophia.’ Nix signed firmly. Carol looked to her, looked to the ground before she nodded and walked off towards her daughter. She looked to her father. ‘New Mexico?’

Daryl shrugged it off. ‘We have to help the others get things back to Alexandria. See what damage has been done.’

Nix nodded, working her jaw. ‘I think we both know Hilltop was burnt to shit.’

‘Maggie won’t let it stay like that. Once we have things sorted in Alexandria, when we have a surplus, you bet Maggie will get Hilltop rebuilt … with your boyfriend’s help.’

Nix felt her face flush bright red. Talking about relationships with her father was vastly different to talking about them with Luke. ‘Shut up,’

‘Oh, so we’re not talking about my little girl dating?’

Nix shoved at Daryl’s arm. ‘Shut up,’ she repeated, trying very hard to stop blushing. ‘I am not talking about this with you.’

She could see how he was grinning, amused at her reaction. ‘Hey, I don’t care. So long as he’s good for you, I don’t care. But I get first dibs if he breaks your heart.’ Nix rolled her eyes. Daryl looked at her, face turning sombre. ‘I’m sorry I missed so much of your life,’

‘Stop getting sentimental and sappy,’ Nix signed, gently pushing at his head. ‘You’re here now, and it’s not like you knew I was alive all that time.’

‘I never believed you died. Held out hope.’

‘This is why you’re the best dad.’

 


 

 

It took a few days. They needed to clear out any excess walkers that had been brought nearby by the horde. The Whisperers had to have died, or ran off, and they had to ensure safety in Alexandria before sending people in wagons back there. It had taken some days, but now they were almost finished. Maggie returned with Judith by her side in time for one of the last wagons to go. Nix was on Negan duty, but she hadn’t been prepared for Negan and Maggie’s interactions. She watched as Negan spoke to Maggie, who simply stared at him before she stalked off.

‘Where’s your brother?’ Nix signed to Judith. She shrugged. ‘Go for the last wagon, we don’t want you being left behind.’

‘OK.’

Nix gave Judith a thumb’s up before she looked to Negan. He had been helping them with moving things into wagons, doing manual labour. Nix had to presume Maggie was going to go and find her son. She had left him someplace safe, and she needed her son back, alongside the people that she had come back with. Daryl and Carol were out there in the woods, clearing walkers and walker-Whisperers alike.

“Where to now, Miss Dixon?” Negan asked of her, glancing down at the notepad sticking out of her pocket. She sighed a little and pulled the notepad out.

BACK TO ALEXANDRIA.

Negan raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t say anything. He nodded and walked at her pace. They found another wagon, and Nix got in with Negan by her side. The wagon was smaller but had enough supplies for the community. Nix clicked her tongue and took the reins of the horses, and they set off.

Nix had heard the stories, of how Negan was never one to stop his motor mouth, how he could talk for ten people and still talk about himself. But he was quiet by Nix’s side, mouth shut tight, eyes going over the surroundings they moved through. Nix figured it was because she was deaf, and it wasn’t like she was going to understand most of what he was going to say. And since Negan hadn’t picked up sign language, it wasn’t like he was going to understand anything she had to say. Nix was not going to use her notepad to talk to him while controlling the horses and the wagon.

The minutes dragged by, and Nix knew Negan was getting bored. She was bored too, and she knew it was a luxury to feel bored, especially after what they had gone through. She figured she wouldn’t be bored after a while back in Alexandria, to try and fix the damage that the Whisperers had done. Nix knew that she couldn’t hunt nearby; all the wildlife would’ve been spent, ran out of the area because of the horde. Fresh meat was going to be hard to come by.

Being on Negan duty was … not an ideal thing for Nix. But she was unbiased on him, not knowing what he had been like before, so didn’t have a past history of grudges against him. It didn’t stop her from being mad about how he had killed her people, or that he had joined the Whisperers under Carol’s hand. Nix was pissed at Negan and Carol for that, but she understood the motive.

When Alexandria’s gates finally came into view, Nix felt relief flood her. The gates opened once the guards saw the wagon approaching, and they went inside. The Alexandrians helped to unpack the wagon, and Nix led Negan away to try and do some manual labour. Some of the panels in the walls had been torn down from the horde. They needed to get those panels replaced and secured.

‘Hey,’ Alden signed, smiling at Nix when she got close enough. ‘Has he been a pain?’ he asked, gesturing to Negan, who found a woolly hat and pulled it on.

Nix shrugged a shoulder, eyeing the man up before she looked back to Alden. ‘He’s been well behaved, all things considered. Maggie didn’t even murder him when she saw him.’ Alden laughed a little, nodding his head. ‘Are you and Carl going to set up at the smithy?’

Alden nodded. ‘We’ll be working with everything we can scrounge up. First and foremost is that wall. We need to make sure it’s going to be fixed and that it’s going to hold.’

‘I have all my faith in you.’ Nix signed and glanced around. Carol and Sophia were working together, not a word spoken between them. ‘Have you spoken to Sophia today?’

‘I spoke at her. She didn’t say anything back. She’s taking Enid’s … death hard.’

Nix shook her head and found herself gnawing at the nail on her thumb, a habit she must’ve picked up from her father. ‘I don’t believe Enid’s dead,’

‘Nix,’

‘Not until we find the body. I can’t accept she’s dead until I witness it. My dad never thought I was dead, and I turned up years later. Why can’t Enid do it?’

Alden looked away for a moment, thinking about what he was supposed to say, trying to find the right words. ‘You and Enid are different. Enid’s a doctor and determined and stubborn as hell. But she … she didn’t have someone like Hazel.’ Nix felt her heart flip. ‘You said Hazel taught you everything you knew, and then you had Jesus to teach you some things you didn’t know. Enid barely had any time with Jesus, to train. And if she’s not here, she definitely won’t be in Hilltop. I hate that I have to think like this, but it’s the only way to keep me sane.’

‘I get it.’ Nix did understand, and she could see Alden’s reasoning. Nix was holding on, against rational thinking, that Enid was somewhere still alive. Enid had survived with Nix, and Nix selfishly wanted Enid alive, so that it wouldn’t just be her with the nightmares, who awoke with Henry’s face in her mind, his name jumbled in her throat. And Nix couldn’t face Sophia if Enid was dead. Henry’s death felt like it was on her, and she and Enid had bonded over their shared trauma. Enid being gone … well, it was something that Nix couldn’t handle.

She had to believe Enid was still alive. Enid’s a doctor and determined and stubborn as hell, Alden had said. So maybe Enid knew what to apply to her body to keep it working, her determination and stubbornness forcing her to keep on going, to find somewhere to hide and keep herself safe.

‘I’m going to try and find Enid. Get answers for me and Sophia.’

‘Are you sure?’ Alden asked, worry starting to line his face. ‘What if she’s gone? Could you do it?’

Nix nodded. ‘I had to with Hazel. I would if it were you, or Sophia, my dad, Carl. I couldn’t leave her like that. And … if she is dead, a walker, then she deserves to live in death peacefully, and for her body to have a resting place.’

‘I’m sorry I brought this up.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘I think it needed to be.’ Nix looked down at her quiver and fiddled with the fletchings. Alden put a hand on her shoulder, and she reached up to hold onto his hand. She looked up at him, and she saw the sympathetic look on his face.

“Do what you need to. I’ll be here for you. Promise.” Nix nodded, squeezing his hand a little before they kissed.

‘I’m … going to set Negan to work, try and do something useful.’

Alden nodded. ‘Do me a favour?’ he asked. ‘Don’t tell Sophia where you’re going. If things turn to shit, we don’t want to give her false hope.’

Nix sighed a little. ‘Yeah. I’ll not tell her until I find an answer.’

 


 

 

The night had passed slowly. Nix and Alden had gotten a room mostly to themselves. Adam was in a cot beside their bed, and Sophia was supposed to be in their room with them, but Nix knew where she was. No doubt she was in the Grimes house, with Carl curled up against her as she laid in bed, wide awake because Enid wasn’t there with her. Carl was one of her friends, and he could offer comfort Nix couldn’t. Maybe if Nix wasn’t there, Sophia would be asking Alden, her best friend, if they could share the bed for the night, so that both of them could mourn over Enid.

Nix couldn’t sleep. Alden was snoozing beside her, completely dead to the world. He had been working hard with Carl, trying to prepare the smithy and find the metals that could work as the new panels. Alden and Carl had teamed up well, delegating tasks to the appropriate people, and giving Negan ample work so that he was busy and didn’t need to be monitored all the time. It did mean that Alden all but fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Nix didn’t mind, and instead watched him sleep, the calmness in his face. He looked younger, despite the tangled hair and the ever-growing beard. He needed a shave, and Nix’s skin could attest to it.

She reached over and ran her fingers over the side of his face. Alden shivered at her touch and then leaned in closer to her. Nix smiled a little, putting her arm over him as she watched him sleep on. It was going to be nonstop work for Alden, from the moment he woke to the moment he fell asleep. And he’d somehow find time in that busy schedule to take care of Adam or have a few precious moments with Nix.

Sleep for Nix came in pitiful, brief moments. She never truly slept, instead slipping in and out of consciousness for minutes at a time. She was always awake when Adam stirred, and she managed to comfort him enough to get him into a steady snooze.

By the time morning came, Nix had slept maybe a handful of hours. It was as much sleep as anyone else would be getting. Alden had cooed at Adam and had managed to find some food for the kid to eat. Nix was worried about food, and there was no way she could get fresh meat, not with the land so spent. She’d have to try and talk to her father about it, see what they could do. Oceanside would try and supply fresh fish, but there was only so many areas that they could fish in without getting sent out into the ocean. With the horde in the waters, they had to avoid certain areas for a while.

At least the Whisperers were no more.

Nix found Negan and had him come back to work. They had some panels to work on, the walls needed to be built. Alden and Carl were busy at the smithy, doing their damndest to try and get weapons and supplies out to them.

The weather was starting to cool down, and Nix knew the dangers that came with it; colder days, frozen walkers, little to no food. They were already dealing with one of those. How were they going to recover from this? Maybe Yumiko, Eugene and Ezekiel would be able to come back and bring them something to keep them going.

Nix just tried to keep herself working, to try and do right by the people. Sophia came and worked beside her, and Negan worked with them, listening to Sophia whenever she gave him some commands. It was odd, seeing Negan and Sophia interacting, and Nix knew they had a history. Was Sophia still angry, or was the loss of Enid enough to push it aside?

Hours passed, and Nix took a break. Negan had gone into one of the houses for some meagre food. The sun was bright overhead, the wind cold. Through the gap in the walls, she could see people approaching. Her father was there, as was Maggie, with several other people. At least Maggie had found her son. She had to know what had happened to Hilltop now, that it was in ruins. Carol told them what had happened, that the Whisperers had left them a parting gift.

Daryl moved towards them and pulled Nix into a hug. She held onto him tightly, glad for him to be back. Once he pulled away, he gave Sophia a hug. Nix watched as Sophia asked Daryl something, Enid’s name on her lips, only for Daryl to shake his head. Sophia nodded but couldn’t hide the distraught look on her face. Nix put an arm around her and let her hold onto her, watching as Maggie walked past Negan without looking at him, holding her son’s hand

‘We have a new threat on our hands,’ Daryl signed to Nix when she looked at him. She frowned at him, not liking it. They’d only just dealt with the Whisperers, and now they were going to have to deal with some other assholes? They couldn’t catch a goddamn break.

‘Go on,’

‘They killed Maggie’s people. Followed them back here. We saw one of them, but he had a grenade on him, blew himself up so he wouldn’t talk to us.’

Nix clenched her jaw a little. ‘OK. Do they know about Alexandria?’

‘Not that we’re aware of. You only know they’re there when it’s too late.’

Nix gave Sophia a squeeze, knowing that she was watching the conversation. ‘They won’t stop us. Not after everything we’ve been through. Just another fight.’

‘Just another fight.’

 


 

 

‘Where are you going?’ Carl asked, catching up to her. ‘Your dad went out, Carol followed him. We’re not going in their direction,’

Nix nodded, but kept walking, gripping the riser of her bow tightly. ‘Enid,’ she signed to Carl. She could see his expression change out of the corner of her eye. Carl stopped, and Nix did the same, turning to look at him. ‘What?’

‘Alden told me earlier. I know you want to know, but is it going to help Sophia?’

‘It will give her closure if Enid is really dead, and relief if we find Enid alive. You don’t have to come with me,’ Nix signed, then turned to keep walking, but Carl caught her arm.

“I do. Alden’s dealing with the smithy, dealing with Adam and everything. He isn’t here. I am. I – I know you’re capable, but after everything … I don’t want you to be out here unnecessarily.’

‘Enid is why I’m out here. I need to find her for me and Sophia.’ Nix pulled her arm from Carl’s grip and stalked off. Nix was going to do more than just try and find Enid. She couldn’t go back empty-handed. Anything would help. Finding Enid would boost morale, give people hope.

Nix could sense Carl behind her, following her but not coming within arm’s reach. For a while, they kept walking, not talking to each other. Nix kept her eye out for any animals that hadn’t left the woods, but she knew it was unlikely. Maybe they would find some of their lost horses, bring those back. Nix had never had horse meat before, but desperate times.

They came across houses, probably long since spent, but Nix looked in them regardless. There was nothing left in their world that wasn’t hidden. She found dusty clothes and put them in her bag. They could be of use for the kids, maybe to grow into or to use in layers for the colder nights. There were no canned goods, not that Nix would risk them after so long. Moss and weeds had invaded the houses, and Nix couldn’t recognise any as medicinal.

She did find some mint leaves, so chewed on them for a little, and handed some to Carl without looking at him. Their fingers brushed as he accepted them, and that was the only contact they had.

They took in mint leaves, common burdock roots and leaves and milkweed shoots, leaves and seed pods. They’d have to place the milkweed in cold water, boiled and to a simmer until they were tender, but it would ensure that they wouldn’t be poisonous. Milkweeds were poisonous raw, and Merle had been stern in teaching her that on the odd occasions he took her hunting.

‘How do you know edible plants?’ Carl asked.

‘Merle told me. He’d had enough wild mushrooms to tell which ones would kill him or give him the trip of a lifetime,’ Nix signed, crouching down in front of some plants. Wild leeks. They’d get mosquitoes off them. ‘If you find any acorns, pocket them.’ Nix didn’t fancy eating dandelions, but she was going to find any and all edible plants.

Carl tapped her arm after a while of walking. ‘This?’ he asked, pointing to a plant.

Nix crouched in front of it, looking at it closely. ‘Fireweed. Edible, eaten like vegetables. Shoots have to be hung and dried to make them sweeter, the leaves can be made into a tea or eaten like greens.’ She picked it. She spotted some brambles and took the leaves and small blackberry blossoms too. Anything would be good.

The two of them continued walking and found themselves walking through a field. ‘Those things always remind me of corndogs.’ Carl signed when they came to a stop. They were by a pond, and Carl had pointed out some common cattail.

‘You can eat their roots. They’re called cattails,’ Nix signed. ‘I wouldn’t eat that as a corndog though,’

Carl laughed, and the two knelt down and dug up the roots. ‘Think we could find more berries?’

Nix shrugged once they had finished getting the roots. ‘We can eat American Elderberry, but I don’t think they’re around here. I haven’t seen any, at least.’ She stretched as she got up. ‘When I get back, I’ll get these sorted. A nice … salad for the kids,’

‘Judith and RJ will be pleased,’ Carl signed, sarcasm in his face, exaggerated in his signs.

‘You head back. I’m going to look through a few more houses. Maybe I could find some clothes that will fit.’ Nix only had the clothes on her back and nothing more, and she knew she was starting to stink, and her raggedy clothes weren’t helping.

‘What about the people after Maggie?’

‘I hate to break it to you, Carl, but I’m quite observant and a quiet person. I’ll see them before they see me.’

Carl nodded but had an uncertain look on his face before he left. Nix walked away from the field and kept walking. She needed to find Enid.

 


 

 

The street Nix had found herself on had several houses. Most of them were beaten and broken from age and the lack of care. She made her way through the houses, trying to find anything of use. She found some clothes, some needles and yarn used to fix clothes, as well as a few melee weapons. She couldn’t carry all of them, so hid them for if she ever came across the houses again. Nix shouldered her bow, and instead opted for her knives as she cleared each of the rooms in the houses she went into.

There were maybe five left on the street that Nix needed to clear, and then she would have to call it quits for the day and head back to Alexandria. Sure, she had some wild plants that she would use and make into a small meal, but it wouldn’t make her feel good about leaving. She wanted to find Enid.

These five houses, and then head back. Return here tomorrow, Nix thought to herself. She could come back out and find more plants, maybe the horses, maybe Enid. Part of her couldn’t stand to be in Alexandria if her family wasn’t whole. Enid and Connie being gone, well it wasn’t easy on Nix’s mind. Part of her knew that Connie could be dead, crushed in the horde, but she refused to think about it. One missing person at a time.

Nix went into the house on her left. Five houses left. She held onto her knives tightly as she opened the door, waiting for any walkers to jump out at her. There was the old stench of mould and decay, but there didn’t seem to be any smell of blood and death that the walkers had. There wasn’t much in the rooms, and barely anything in the bedrooms. One room left.

She reached for the handle and opened the door, knife held up defensively. Nix felt something akin to fear when she saw a lump on the bed. It looked like it was moving, hidden underneath the blankets. Was it a child walker or something else? Nix ventured forwards and kicked the footboard to get its attention. The lump jerked up, and a bloodied knife was held up in a meek defence. It was a person, and the person’s eyes were dull, their face caked in blood and dirt and grime. But Nix recognised their face

Enid’s eyes were still blue.

The two froze as they stared at each other, just as shocked and surprised to see the other there, alive.

“Oh my god. Nix?”

The sight of Enid speaking, saying her name had Nix rushing towards her, clambering over the bed to get to her as quickly as she could. Enid dropped her knife and let Nix pull her into a hug. Nix couldn’t believe it. Enid was alive and well and in her arms. Nix pulled away from her and held Enid’s face in her hands. She pushed the dirt and grossness from her face, the streaks contrasting with dirt and cleaner skin. They pressed their foreheads together, glad to find each other alive. Nix could hardly believe Enid was there with her. She found her.

Nix pulled her bag to her side and offered Enid some of the brambles. ‘The rest need to be cooked. I didn’t … I didn’t think you’d be here, that I’d find you. I should’ve come prepared.’

‘It’s OK,’ Enid signed, but her hands were shaking, and she was so malnourished. When was the last time Enid had eaten? Before the fight? How long had Enid been in this room, starving away, too weak to find anything outside that she could safely eat? There hadn’t been any food in the cupboards, aside from the rotten remnants of fruit in the bowl. The tap water in the bathroom had been stagnant and had a film of dirt atop it. Enid wouldn’t have dared, no matter how thirsty she would’ve been.

Enid leaned against Nix, taking in her body warmth, and Nix wrapped them both up in the blankets. They were itchy, but Nix didn’t care, trying to warm Enid up as much as she could. They had to get back to Alexandria before it got dark; those people after Maggie could find them, and it would be dangerous to stay outside in the darkness.

‘Let’s get you home,’ Nix signed to her, climbing off the bed. Enid got off it with legs like Bambi, and Nix took her weight, slinging an arm around Enid to keep her upright. Nix led the way out of the house, hyper-aware of how Enid was leaning against her, breathing heavy, warm on Nix’s neck. It let her know that Enid was alive beside her. Oh god, she’d found Enid and she was taking her home.

But Nix kept going; she had to. Enid needed to get home, rehydrated and some actual food in her. Nix tried not to think about how scarce food was getting back in Alexandria. How they were stretching the food as much as they could. They would figure something out. Once Nix got back, she could cook the plants and give them to Enid and the kids. Rosita could make sure Enid would be treated medically, and she would be able to recover.

 


 

 

Nix felt Enid’s gasping breath on her shoulder, and Nix had taken more and more of her weight.

‘Just a little further,’ she signed. The gates of Alexandria were right there, but they were shut. They could go through the holes in the walls. Nix helped Enid down the slope, over the debris and broken metal. Nix helped her through and made a shouting noise, uncomfortable with it but desperate for someone to help her with Enid.

Negan was the first one to act, running towards them. Maybe Nix’s shout had freaked him out, that she was in danger, but then he saw the two of them and stilled.

“Holy fucking shit,” Negan said before he leapt over some wood and took Enid’s other side, helping Nix carry the woman in.

Others started to rush in towards them. She spotted Alden, Sophia and Carl among the people coming to them. Sophia stumbled into Alden, staring at the three of them before she found her footing and came sprinting towards them, screaming Enid’s name.

Sophia took Enid in her arms, easily taking her out of Negan and Nix’s hold, lifting Enid off her feet. Sophia was sobbing as she held onto her girlfriend, eyes squeezed shut as she kept Enid in her arms. She spoke rapidly to Enid, her hand going to Enid’s dirty hair. Enid must’ve been saying something to Sophia, because Sophia nodded and hefted Enid up into her arms, carrying her towards the infirmary. Rosita had to know that something had happened, would be waiting for whoever would come through the infirmary doors.

Alden and Carl made their way over to Nix and Negan. Carl said something to Negan, who nodded a little and walked off. Nix smiled up at Alden, who beamed at her, wrapping her up in a tight hug, murmuring something into her neck. She knew he had to be saying his thanks to whatever was above that Enid was back and that she was alive, that she hadn’t been found too late.

‘I’m never going to doubt you again. How did you even find her?’

‘I have my skills.’ Nix shrugged a shoulder, then looked to Carl. ‘Told you so.’

‘I deserved that,’ Carl signed, nodding his head at her. Nix smiled a little, then shifted the bag over. ‘Need help getting those plants ready?’

‘Yeah. Too bad we can’t have those corndogs.’

Alden shot the two a quizzical look when Carl laughed, signing ‘corndog,’ with an amused look on his face. Nix looked around to see her father standing nearby, having witnessed everything. There was a small something on his face that let her know he was proud of her. She had brought back Enid, and when Enid was better, she would return as the doctor of Alexandria. Nix and Daryl shared a nod before she walked off with Alden and Carl, to prepare the roots and leaves that Nix had in her bag.

Chapter 24: Life Changes

Chapter Text

The roots from the plants, the starch they’d stripped away from the cattail, even the burdock and milkweed. They hadn’t lasted long. Nix didn’t expect it to last long, not with the amount of people in Alexandria. Nix hoped that Oceanside would send them some fish; they were getting desperate. The walls of Alexandria were in constant need of being rebuilt, but the supplies were few and far between.

Daryl and Carol had gone out together to try and find anything of use, while Gabriel and Aaron had gone out for food and supplies, going further than anyone expected them to. But they were desperate and knew that they had to get something.

Nix didn’t see a lot of Sophia, though she expected it. Ever since Nix had brought Enid back, Sophia had been right by her side, taking care of her. Maggie’s new people weren’t what Nix had been expecting from them either. The one with the hair all tied up in a bun seemed almost pretentious to Nix, something about him didn’t sit right with her. Maybe it was because Nix had seen the way he looked at Maggie, wanting something he could never have. Alden told her the man was named Cole, not that she cared for his name. There were others, Frost, Agatha, and Duncan, who was a tall, broad black man who Hershel seemed to adore. Nix liked Duncan more than the rest of his crew; he looked intimidating but was rather sweet at heart.

Rosita had people working on the guard post, and Rick had had some people clean up the fishery. Nix had spotted Carol talking to Jerry and figured that she and Daryl had come back. Knowing her dad, he was probably still out there, trying to look for more. Nix moved on, she had stuff to do.

The kids were waiting for her when she got close enough. Judith beamed at Nix. Nix had gotten some spare wood and had managed to make some bowstrings, and when she’d put it together, she’d made a few small longbows for the kids. She’d gone out the previous day, getting branches to whittle down into arrows for the kids. Her arms were full of the bows, the arrows in a quiver she’d made. She gave each of the kids a bow.

‘Today you have advanced onto shooting,’ Nix signed to the kids. ‘You’ve all done well with the band drills,’ Nix signed, having taught them all with some crappy yellow bands that the kids had stretched out. It helped them get used to the idea of pulling back a bowstring, without dry firing a bow and fucking it up.

The kids all looked nervous over the idea of using real bows, now that they’d been given them.

Judith, the bravest of the lot, helped Nix set up the targets and the parameters of their shooting range. It wouldn’t be much, but it kept the others in Alexandria coming too close in the event of a stray arrow. The kids all lined up as instructed, a few paces apart for breathing room. They kept their eyes on Nix, attentive and eager.

Nix gave them a few arrows each and showed them how to raise the bow safely.

‘The best thing to do with a longbow is to just draw back and shoot. My dad taught me that. However, I prefer a barebow,’ Nix signed, and then Gracie grabbed it and held it up for the others to see, excited to do something to help. ‘The difference is the barebow is made of metal, so it won’t warp like a longbow will. The barebow is anchored, and you hold the string differently, like so.’

Nix demonstrated, fingers below the nock so she could anchor to her face. The would-be arrow would’ve been in her line of sight. She didn’t dry fire, and instead lowered the string, taking the tension out of it. She looked at their small, young faces. At least they were paying attention.

‘Now, you all stay on that line and do not move while people are shooting. I’ll let you know when it’s safe to collect your arrows or to stop by getting your attention.’

‘How?’ Gracie asked.

“Hey!” Nix said, and the kids' jaws went slack, like they hadn’t expected her to make a sound. It was the only way Nix would be able to get their attention. ‘All in line? Good. Nock your arrows and draw back. Don’t think about it too much and let me know if you get hurt. Ready? Go for it.’

For a first time using a bow, most of the kids did alright. A few arrows went astray, between the targets, or above them. But it was all well and good. Nix nodded, putting an impressive look on her face as the kids turned to look at her. She nodded to them, and they turned to look at the targets again. While they were doing that, Nix walked behind them, occasionally stopping one of the kids so that she could readjust their position. They took in her information with wide eyes, trying to understand each and every sign she gave them. Judith sometimes came to translate when the kids got confused.

Nabila came around a few rounds later, watching her oldest kids with the bows. Nix didn’t notice her at first, too wrapped up in making sure the kids weren’t going to endanger themselves. She’d spent a few minutes with Ezra, readjusting his bow for him, and did her best to make his armguard fitted properly. The kid had complained about the bowstring hitting his elbow, so Nix showed him now to tuck it in, and showed the other kids, making it a group effort.

Once they were back to shooting, Nix noticed Nabila. ‘Sorry. Bows are my thing; I get zoned in on them when I teach people.’

Nabila smiled a little. “It’s OK. I wanted to thank you – for the roots and food. I know you gave most to the kids. And I wanted to thank you for teaching the kids how to use a bow.”

Nix shrugged a shoulder, not knowing how to take it. ‘I was around Ezra’s age when my dad taught me. The younger they are, the easier it’ll be on their muscles. Muscle memory and strength.’ She looked at the kids and saw that most of them were done. When the last arrows were in the targets, the kids looked at her. She nodded to them. ‘Collect your arrows.’

The kids did as they were told.

“It’s nice to see Ezra and the others doing something. I hate it too because it might give him hope to take out a walker or two.”

There wasn’t a lot that Nix could say to that. ‘It’s a skill. If anything, by the time he’s my age, he could be doing it to hunt deer. The dead are probably always going to be around, and he’ll know that and understand what that means. It’s better to learn than be defenceless.’

Nix had always been glad of her skills her father had taught her, hell even the ones Merle had taught her too. They’d been key to her survival, and it had kept her going, even now. Her bow was like an extension of her arm, and it had been the tool she’d used throughout her whole life. To teach kids how to use them, safely, in a controlled environment rather than out on the road, well it was better than any alternatives.

Before Nabila could say anything else, a warm pair of arms came around Nix’s middle, and someone’s beard scratched at her neck, catching at the fabric of her shirt. She didn’t have to look to know that it was Alden. He was the only one who could dare sneak up on her and do this, without getting a black eye from Nix’s reflexes. Nix put her hand on his arm, leaning back against him, a fond smile on her face without even looking at him.

“Look at my awesome girlfriend,” Alden said, and Nix elbowed him, though there wasn’t much strength behind it. “Teaching kids, being badass. You’re my favourite person.”

‘You’re an idiot,’

Alden kissed her cheek. Nabila looked at them with a soft look on her face. Alden wouldn’t let Nix go, so she ended the lesson in his arms, ignoring the looks on Judith and Gracie’s faces at the display of affection.

“Carl wanted to show you some stuff at the smithy when you were done here, Judy,” Alden told the girl, who looked ecstatic. Judith spoke rapidly to Gracie, who shrugged a shoulder and smiled, before they were racing off to the smithy. Alden loosened his hold on Nix, if only so she could turn to face him. “Rosita wanted Adam and Coco to have a little bonding session, so she’s got Adam for a few hours,” he said once Nabila had taken her son away and the other kids had dispersed to their parents.

‘You’re so horny.’

Alden had the decency to blush a brilliant red. “Forgive me for wanting that room to ourselves for an hour or two.”

Nix held back a comment on the time, and how long they’d be, and instead let Alden sneak them off to their room. Nix almost felt like a teenager, running off for a few private moments with her boyfriend, both of them smiling and excited, and nervous despite how long they’d been together. Once they’d gotten to their room, Nix had locked the door. She was the first one to act, pulling Alden close to her, discarding her check shirt that had been over her other shirt.

Alden gasped into her mouth as she pushed him towards the bed. Once he was on it, she pushed him down onto his back, getting on top of him. Sure, they’d had sex a few times, but it was always something that excited them and made them maybe a little nervous in a good way. Alden pulled his shirt off, throwing it aside, and then pulled Nix down, so that their positions had swapped.

‘Mixing it up a little, are we?’ she asked, and he laughed and leaned down to kiss every inch of her face. Nix tiled her head to the side, breathing in and out steadily, hands on Alden’s shoulders as he caught on. She was letting him touch her neck. Alden was careful as he kissed at Nix’s neck, trying not to make her uncomfortable. Nix shut her eyes and enjoyed herself.

 


 

 

Daryl returned early the next day. Nix hadn’t been there to greet him, having managed to get some sleep and had slept on longer than usual. Alden had let her sleep in whilst he’d taken care of Adam.

‘You know not to let me sleep in,’ Nix told Alden as she got dressed.

‘You’re always up. Don’t act like you’re not. The first few days here, you were always awake when I woke up at night. You need your rest, or you’ll die on your feet.’ He looked down at Adam and grimaced. ‘This boy just shit a brick.’

‘I’m not cleaning that up.’ Nix signed, rubbing at her face. Her nose upturned when the smell caught up to her. ‘I’m definitely not cleaning that up.’

Alden rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his face. ‘Go on, get some food. Daryl came back earlier.’

‘OK, Mom,’ she signed sarcastically, pulling her boots on. Alden leaned over to shove her shoulder lightly. She got up, kissed Alden, and dodged out of the room before he could give her Adam and his dirty diaper.

Nix spotted her father at his bike, speaking to Carol at a distance. Nix hung back, watching the two interact. Dog ran up to her, and she gave him some attention, still watching as Carol held out something to Daryl. She pocketed it after a moment, and then Daryl looked to Nix and Dog. ‘I’m gonna hit the sack.’

‘I’ll tuck you in,’ Nix signed, a smirk on her face. Daryl shook his head at her, but let her come with him and Dog as Carol went into the garage, pulling the door down. Daryl let Dog into the house and looked to Nix.

‘Things aren’t good out there. Have you looked at your traps recently?’

‘Yesterday, before I was with the kids.’ Daryl frowned at her. ‘I’ve been teaching them how to use a longbow.’

‘You use a barebow,’

‘I know. I’m good with any bow,’ Daryl raised an eyebrow and bumped his crossbow against his leg. ‘Except maybe a crossbow.’

Her father smiled at her. It was a tired one, and she realised he was starting to look older than his years. His hair was getting too long again, and the scars on his face stood out. Sometimes it was hard for Nix to believe her father had gotten old, old enough for the greys to appear in his beard, in the hidden areas of his head that his hair hid.

‘You need a haircut.’

‘No,’ Daryl signed, shaking his head, dodging Nix’s eye. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Later. Need my beauty sleep.’

Nix laughed a little. ‘If it’s beauty sleep you need, you’ll need to be in an induced coma.’

‘Oh, fuck off. Let me sleep.’

The two Dixons looked at each other, smiled, and shared a brief hug before Nix left her dad to get some rest. She didn’t get very far before she spotted Sophia and Enid. They were a rare sight, but Enid was looking a little better. Maybe a little too thin, but she had more colour in her face, and she looked well-rested.

Enid spotted Nix first and made a beeline for her. Before Nix could react, her arms were full of Enid, who was doing her very best to keep from sobbing. Nix held onto her tightly, pressing her face into Enid’s shoulder. It was an emotional moment, and even though Enid was safe, it was still a scary thought that she could be taken away from them again.

Sophia was looking away, blinking hard like she was trying to force the tears in her eyes to go away. Nix reached out, and Sophia relented and joined the hug. It was nice, being with the two. It felt like things were going to be OK, despite the shit show that they were dealing with. They’d find food, somehow, find materials to rebuild the walls, and would rebuild Hilltop.

They’d survived too long to let this be the thing that dragged them down.

Nix pulled away from the two of them, and a noise akin to a laugh escaped her. She wiped at Enid’s face, trying to get rid of the tears. The three of them looked at each other before they started to laugh. They were wrecks, but they were together and that was what mattered.

 


 

 

‘Hey, I’m going to check in with Rosita, see how things are going,’ Alden signed to Nix, who nodded, and tilted her head back so Alden could lean down and kiss her. She smiled a little, watching him walk away before she turned her attention onto the toddler in her lap.

Nix pulled a face at Adam, who laughed and clapped his hands, shaking his stim toy around. It had balls in it, probably made a rattling noise. Nix was glad she couldn’t hear the rattling; it had to get old after a while. She was sat with Enid, Sophia, and Carl, who was taking a much-needed break from the smithy. From dawn ‘til dusk, Carl was at the smithy, working as hard as his body would let him. Nix was surprised he hadn’t collapsed from exhaustion yet. He was determined to keep his family and the community safe and was doing everything in his power to do so.

Enid slouched down in her chair, and Nix looked over to see she had a miserable look on her face. ‘What’s wrong?’ Nix asked once she’d gotten Enid’s attention.

‘This,’ she signed, holding up some material in her hand. ‘It’s my favourite shirt and it’s got a big tear in it. I can’t sew.’

Nix looked at Adam before she picked him up and plonked him in Carl’s lap. Carl jerked awake from the doze he’d been in and looked at the small boy with surprise. Nix ignored Carl and held out a hand to Enid, who gave her the shirt, needle, and thread. Nix held it up, inspecting it, before she got to work on it. It only took a few minutes, and that was mostly because she was out of practice and didn’t want to prick herself with the sharp end of the needle. Once it was done, she tied the end of the thread, and cut it with her knife. She held it up once more and inspected her work.

Well, it was alright. The fix was a little obvious, but Nix put that down on the fact she knew where to look for the imperfections, and the thread she’d fixed it with was black, contrasting against the light blues and purples of the material. She shrugged a shoulder and folded it up and handed it back to Enid.

Nix took Adam back from Carl and noticed that her three friends were staring at her with varying expressions of shock and amusement on their faces. Nix let Adam stand up in her lap, let him fling his arms around her neck and rested his head on her shoulder.

‘What?’ she asked, looking between them when she got Adam comfortable.

Sophia grinned a little. ‘You’re like the mom of our small group,’ she signed, gesturing around them. Enid and Carl contemplated it before they nodded along with Sophia’s statement.

Nix frowned. ‘So would that make Alden the father?’

Enid pulled a face, like she hadn’t expected that question. “Well, he did adopt Adam, didn’t he?” Nix rolled her eyes. “So yes, I think that makes you two the parents of our group. Keep the ragtag teens in line.”

‘You’re annoying.’ Nix signed. ‘You’re all stupid.’ They grinned at her, laughing as she looked at them unimpressed. She shook her head and watched as Adam looked up at the others. ‘They’re stupid, right?’ she asked him.

‘Stupid,’ Adam signed, and it made something flutter in Nix as she smiled at him. At least the kid was picking up sign language.

It wasn’t long after, that Maggie came up to them, sitting beside Enid. She looked to Enid with a fond look on her face, and Hershel stood behind his mom, looking at the young adults like he didn’t know what to do.

“There’s a … military base, we’re going to check out that Daryl found,” Maggie started, glancing back to her son to hold his hand against her shoulder. “We need all the food we can get our hands on, and that means … more people have to come and help with the run.” Maggie looked at each of them. “I know you’ve only just got back, and you’re one of the very few medics we have, I get it if you won’t come,” she said to Enid, who nodded, looking to Sophia.

‘I’ll go,’ Nix signed. ‘Enid doesn’t have to. Besides, I need to go out and do something or else I’ll go crazy.’

‘Me too. Carl and Enid will stay behind and help Aaron with the wall and everything.’ Sophia signed, talking along to Maggie.

‘What makes you think I’m going to stay behind?’

Nix kicked his shin. ‘Judith and RJ. Me and Alden will need someone to babysit Adam while we’re gone, because you know he’s going to come with.’ Nix raised her eyebrow at Carl, daring him to try and argue with her. Carl relented and looked away but didn’t look pleased.

Nix looked to Sophia, and the two shared a look. They could go with. It wasn’t like Enid was in any fit shape to go on the run, not after being malnourished for so long on her own. And Carl couldn’t go, leave Judith and RJ like that. Sure, Michonne and Rick were still around, but the family didn’t need to be separated.

Maggie thanked the two, and then looked to Hershel when he said something. Maggie turned to look at Nix, unsure of how to word it. ‘He wants to know … why you’re deaf,’ she managed to sign.

It had been a question Nix figured would be coming. ‘I was born deaf. I used to have these old hearing aids that could help me be able to hear. Your dad gave me some better ones when we first met, but I lost them. I doubt any hearing aids would work now.’

Hershel nodded, but didn’t stop looking at her, like he couldn’t quite believe she was deaf and talked with her hands. He looked between them all, all taller and older than him. Aside from Adam, of course.

“Can your baby hear too?” Hershel asked, and Nix’s heart did a funny little flop. She looked down at Adam, and it felt like the bottom of her stomach had dropped. Didn’t this mean she had adopted him too when she told Alden they’d take the boy in? Did this make Nix a mother?

‘Adam can hear,’ Nix signed, hiding the internal crisis that she was going through. ‘But I think he’s picking up sign language from us.’

Hershel nodded, then walked over and smiled at Adam, and took hold of the toddler when Nix offered. Nix slouched back in her seat, trying not to let the panic show on her face. Was she a mom? They’d only joked prior that she and Alden were the parents of their group, but … they were literal parents as well.

Sophia kicked at Nix’s foot, and raised an eyebrow, asking silently are you OK? Nix met her gaze and offered a smile that felt a little bit more nervous than she would’ve liked. Nix could talk to Alden about it later. For now, they had to make plans for going to the military base her father had found.

 


 

 

‘It’s Fort Connors military base. Any luck, they’ll have stashes of MREs.’

‘What if it’s overrun?’ Nix asked Sophia. The plans had been made, and people were preparing to go with them to get the MREs. If there were any. Like Nix had suspected, Alden had volunteered to go with them. Nix’s father would be leading the run alongside Maggie. Several others joined in on the run, such as Sophia, Rosita, Lydia, Kelly and Magna. Several of the men had also volunteered. Daryl and Maggie had devised a plan to use a pulley system to get into the military building.

‘We need people to be sent down with bags to get the MREs,’ Kelly translated for Nix as the two watched Maggie. ‘My best suggestion is those who are of lighter weight.’

‘So the women,’ Jerry signed, and he looked down at himself. He was a tall guy and was stockily built. He’d had a hard time in the cave, and Nix knew the pulley probably wouldn’t support his weight.

Nix shrugged and made a gesture to herself. ‘I can go down,’

Immediately after, Sophia said the same.

‘I can lead the women down there. Daryl can take control of the pulley from above, give us a bird’s eye view in case we miss anything down there,’ Kelly translated as Maggie spoke. Maggie was quite rusty when it came to sign language, and Nix didn’t hold it to her. The rest of their old group from the farm had been bad at remembering sign language when Nix and her group had first arrived.

‘We can’t know for sure, but the doors will be locked,’

Nix looked to Magna, and they both grinned. Nix had learned how to pick locks from Merle, and Magna had learned the skill from Before as well. They reached over and bumped fists. That was another issue tackled.

‘What about the dead?’ Nix asked.

‘When I checked it out, the dead were docile,’ Daryl informed her. ‘They looked like they were asleep. So long as everyone who goes down is quiet, then we shouldn’t have a problem with them.’

Nix frowned a little, thinking it over. Docile walkers? Sure, she’d heard of them just lurking, sitting around and waiting for movement to get them up and going, but being asleep? That … was new. It had to be because they hadn’t interacted with the outside world and had all dropped to the ground at one point, and without the motivation of eating someone, they had stopped moving.

Whatever. They were desperate for food, and Nix didn’t care how they got it. Her only worry was, if there were some MREs, would they get enough to feed the community? Until they were there, Nix had to push those worries aside.

Once everyone had been dismissed to get ready for the mission, Sophia gave Nix a pointed look. ‘Adam.’

‘I know. I’m going to talk to Alden about it,’ Nix signed, pushing Sophia’s arm. Her heart had done a funny jolt at the mention of Adam.

Before Alden could return to their room to get his spear, Nix jogged up to him. He paused so she could catch up, and concern filled his face when he saw the look on Nix’s. ‘Something wrong?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder, but her face betrayed her. ‘Hershel said something earlier. It got me thinking about something I’d not really thought about before,’ she admitted. Alden raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to continue. ‘I know when Earl died, I said we could take Adam in … but it never crossed my mind that doing that would, uh, make us parents.’ Nix had made a little hand gesture at her pause of ‘uh’, using it to gather her thoughts

Something crossed Alden’s face. ‘I can see that. With everything going on, you going out and being determined to find Enid … it would make those smaller things creep up on you.’ Alden reached out and held onto her arm briefly. ‘You don’t have to take on that role just because I’ve taken it up. Earl was better to me than my father, and I want Adam to get the same treatment Earl gave me. You don’t have to do that with me if it makes you scared or uncomfortable.’

‘No, it’s just … it’s weird.’ Nix didn’t know how to explain it. ‘It’s-it’s not something I ever thought would happen, y’know? Like, this is a child, we’re raising the child, that … makes us parents, and I never thought I would ever be a mother, so it’s kind of alien and it’s freaked me out a little because I didn’t notice until Hershel pointed it out because he thought Adam was blood.’

Nix looked away from Alden’s face, trying to process the millions of thoughts in her head. How long had they been together now? A year? More or less? And now they were going to be parents to a toddler? Nix knew that she wouldn’t have dreamt of something like this while she and Luke and the others had been on the road. Alden put his hands on either side of her face, and she was surprised to see him holding back a smile. It made her smile, and she put her hands over his.

“You are ridiculous, Nix,” he said before he kissed her. “Did Hershel give you a midlife crisis?”

Nix laughed and nodded her head before she pushed her arms around him, resting her head on his chest. Alden put his arms around her, and she held on tightly. It was a terrifying thought, and Nix doubted she’d feel like a mother to Adam until he’d call her that, if he ever wanted to. She cared about the dumb little toddler, helped him sleep when he had a nightmare. The damn kid had even started to pick up sign language by proxy.

Oh god, she was a mother.

Nix choked a little, and Alden looked at her, alarmed. ‘Does this make my dad a grandfather? He’s going to have a heart attack.’

The two looked at each other for a moment as the information settled in their heads, and then they started to laugh. Stupid big grins were on their faces as they imagined what Daryl Dixon would be like as a grandfather.

Maybe they could do this whole parenting gig.

Chapter 25: To the Tunnels

Notes:

Posting this with around 10 mins left of 2021. What a fucking year. I'm watching you, 2022. Hope everyone has a fantastic new year.

Chapter Text

Adam started to cry when he saw Alden and Nix preparing to leave. He was reaching for them in Enid’s arms, and she looked like she was struggling to hold him. Alden walked over to them, talking to Enid before he turned his attention onto Adam, holding him in his arms as he no doubt started with his baby voice. Kelly had told Nix about Alden’s weird baby voice, and Nix was glad she couldn’t hear it.

Adam cried even more in Alden’s arms, and Nix sighed before she went over to them, taking Adam from Alden. She held him out at arm’s reach, eyebrows raised at the little boy. He sniffled, tears coming close to a stop. He started babbling at her, and she pulled him close to her, touching her forehead against his. Adam calmed a little, resting his head on her shoulder, a hand coming up to hold onto her ear.

‘I don’t get why he likes you more,’ Alden signed.

‘I’m awesome.’

Once Adam had settled, and was back in Enid’s arms, they left to go on the mission to Fort Connors. They had had to walk. Sophia was beside Nix on her left, Alden on her right. They didn’t have any horses to pull the wagons. They would be on foot the entire time, there and back. Sophia kept fiddling with her knife, an anxious tic that Sophia didn’t seem to notice she was doing. At least the sun was setting, which had been what they had all planned for. The dark would benefit them with the sleeping walkers.

When they made it to Fort Connors, they had to go in through the roof, through one of the windows that had to be pried open carefully. Alden and Jerry set up a pulley system. Nix, Sophia, and the majority of the women would be sent down into the building. Maggie had devised the plan, and the others had followed her lead. Nix didn’t mind; it meant that they were just following her and she was fine to do that.

Pulley system completed, Nix, Sophia and Maggie went down first. Alden and Daryl had sent Nix a mixed look of worry before she was sent down with Sophia and Maggie. The others followed after, Kelly, Magna, Rosita, Lydia and Carol.

Nix had never been rock sailing before, but she figured it was similar. Though there was no rock and her life was in Alden’s hands and the pulley that they’d devised. Her feet touched the ground and she unhooked herself from the rope and looked to Sophia and Lydia, who had come down through the same window as her. They were surrounded by walkers, laid on the floor. They all looked like they were dead, but Nix knew better. It was only a matter of time before the walkers realised they had company.

‘This way,’

Nix and Sophia stepped carefully through the dead, with Lydia following after them. Nix crept towards the door that held the MREs they needed. Her heart was beating hard in her chest. It was weird. The dead just weren’t reacting to them, unaware that they were there with them.

Magna stood beside Nix, and Maggie took Magna’s weapon as the two went to work on the two padlocks on the door. Nix’s bow was against her back, and she was hyperaware of it, the possible noise it could be making. Her fingers worked at the lock, trying to be careful and slow with it. Her lock clicked open, and she winced, knowing it had to have been loud. She pried it off, looking at the rusted metal as Magna unlocked hers.

‘Loud fuckers,’ Magna signed, and Nix had to suppress a smile.

Nix took her bow, nocked an arrow and aimed as Magna opened the door. There were no walkers on the other side. She looked to Kelly, who nodded, and she and Magna walked past Nix to get some MREs. Maggie went with them. Nix and the others stood guard until Maggie let them know that they were ready.

The bags were brought in a line along the women, careful not to disturb the dead. Nix kept looking around, in case any of the walkers stirred and became alert that dinner was nearby. Carol, Rosita and Maggie were at the pulley system, sending up the bags of MREs to Alden, Daryl and Jerry up above.

Things were going well. The bags were being sent up in a good consistent rhythm. If they were lucky, they’d have enough food for maybe a week. They always needed more.

There was quick movement above them, and Nix looked up to see her father catch a bag. One of the ropes had to have broken. Nix looked to Sophia, a worried look on her face. She was holding one of the bags, tense and almost unable to move until they knew what would come of it.

A few seconds passed, and then a walker started to move. It was a chain reaction. The sounds of it had to have woken them all up.

Time to get to work. Nix shot arrow after arrow at the dead, but there were so many of them. She shouldered her bow and took out her knives, carving a route for Magna and the others to get to the pulley. She retrieved her arrows as she went, aware of Sophia covering her back, grabbing arrows she missed.

Lydia did the same, rushing to put her bag on the pulley before she was attacking the walkers with her staff.

‘Kelly and Magna,’ Nix signed to Sophia.

The two moved together, taking out the walkers as they went. Arrows and bolts rained down from above, Daryl and Alden covering them as they got closer to the others. Magna and Kelly followed after Nix and Sophia, who had to dodge quickfire bullets from Carol.

“Mom!” Sophia called. “Watch it.”

Nix grabbed the bag from Kelly and tied it to the pulley, giving it a pull to let them know to bring it up. She turned and helped Kelly get attached to her rope, as Magna was lifted into the air. Nix pushed Kelly’s shaking fingers aside and connected her. Kelly tugged at the rope before she was being lifted up too.

Maggie and Carol were still shooting at the walkers, but time was running out.

Nix, Sophia and Lydia were sent up next, followed by Rosita and Maggie once they had been unhooked. All they could do was watch as Carol unhooked herself and rushed for some more MREs on a table.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sophia said from beside Nix, watching her mother. She had a gun in her hand, and Nix didn’t know when she’d got it. Presumably when Carol and Maggie got their semi-automatics. Nix watched as Sophia took careful aim, down near her mother, and shot at a walker that got too close for comfort. The shot was clean, to the back of the head. At least Sophia wasn’t rusty with a gun.

She continued to shoot walkers out of her mother’s way, until she got to the rope, got connected, and was pulled back up. She had an extra bag of food for the community. Maybe they could stretch it a little longer. At this point, any risk was worth it. Sophia didn’t look pleased, but Nix knew she would’ve risked it too. Carol had taken so many risks and dangers that it was wearing Sophia down. After Alpha, well Nix reckoned Sophia thought her mom would get killed soon.

Nix half expected Carol to get killed somehow on some stupid suicide run.

The walkers below were still reaching for them. There was no way they could go back in there any time soon.

Pulleys dismantled, they got off the roof of the military base.

‘Good haul,’ Sophia signed. There was a certain stiffness to her expression. Things had to be rocky with Carol. Maybe she missed Ezekiel too. ‘But we need more.’

‘We always need more. And we’ll find it. Or Ezekiel and Yumiko and Eugene will bring us something. From wherever Eugene’s girlfriend is from.’

It got a smile on Sophia’s face. ‘Eugene has a girlfriend. Who would’ve thought?’ Sophia shrugged a shoulder a little. ‘Eugene was always so weird. He’s had a crush on Rosita for the longest time, and now he moved on. He used to watch.’

Nix’s nose turned up in disgust. ‘What the fuck.’

Sophia nodded. ‘Yeah, it was weird, but it was years ago. I think he’s stopped now.’

Nix made a gagging sound, and Sophia snorted, shaking her head.

 


 

 

They made it back to Alexandria. The walls still broken, ground burned, buildings all broken and crap. They’d rebuild, somehow. They went into the community, passing Aaron and some others. They went to the pantry, where Negan and Gabriel were organising food. Nix stood back, watching the way Maggie and Negan interacted with each other. Stilted and awkward. Hershel rushed up to his mother, and several people walked over to them. The biggest man pulled Hershel onto his shoulders.

Before Nix could ask who they were, a small fight broke out. Nix and Sophia went over to them, helping Gabriel end the fight.

“My kid is going hungry!” one of the men yelled.

“We’re all fucking hungry, dipshit!” Sophia yelled right back. “We’ve just come from a damn run to feed you and your family. Kids first, always. But this attitude is not going to help, and it’ll land your ass in a cell. Think it through, dumbass.”

Nix had to admire Sophia for it. She was quick to fight back, had found her voice.

“Oh, and thank you so much,” he said, and Nix didn’t have to hear his voice to know he was being sarcastic. Nix took hold of Sophia from behind, making sure she wasn’t going to pounce this man.

Sophia’s face contorted, some controlled anger in her face. “You listen up, you lousy fuck rat. We are going out there every damn day to help feed this fucking community. While you sit here, on your fucking ass, complaining. So why don’t you go out there and find yourself some fucking food? You worthless pile of shit.”

The man glared at Sophia, glancing at Nix. “Little bitch here, is she supposed to be keeping you on a leash?”

Sophia looked to Nix, who moved forwards and punched the man square in the face. He stumbled backwards, landing against the pillar of the house.

“You fucking try that shit again, and neither of us will stop from knocking some damn sense into your thick little head.”

‘Lack of food drives people crazy. He’s just another dickhead.’ Nix raised an eyebrow at Sophia, who relented and followed after Nix. Beside her, Sophia was fuming silently. Her temper had gotten shorter as the years had gone by, but she was no longer the quiet girl Nix had first met. It was as good as it was bad. Part of Nix worried that the temper belonged to Ed. But she knew Sophia would never be like that asshole, ever.

Enid was waiting in the infirmary for their arrival. She had Adam in a papoose sort of thing that she had scrounged up from some deep, dark basement. Sophia called to her, and Enid brightened up, looking to them. She pulled Adam out of the sling and handed him to Nix. The toddler had already been reaching for her as soon as he’d laid eyes on her. She took hold of Adam, pulling him close to her as Enid all but leapt into Sophia’s arms. It was sweet, really, seeing the two react, what they meant to each other. Sophia’s rage fizzled away, softness taking over her expression as she held onto Enid. Nix let Adam hold onto her ear, nuzzle into her face. She had missed him. More than she thought she would. It was weird, this new attachment she had to the boy. Taking it as her cue to leave, Nix left the two women, shutting the infirmary door behind her. Adam lifted his head up, beaming at Nix, eyes squinting from the sun. She smiled down at him, feeling something tug at her heart. She wanted the best for this little kid. To tell him how he had survived so much in his younger years, the people who had loved him unconditionally.

Her father was sitting on the steps to his house, chain-smoking from the looks of things. Nix came and sat beside him, Adam sitting in her lap.

‘That food will maybe last a week,’

‘I thought as much when we got it,’ Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Anything we can do about it?’

Daryl looked to the side briefly, like he was contemplating telling Nix. He looked back to her, stubbing the cigarette out. ‘Maggie wants to go to her old place. Meridian. Take it back from the marauders who stole it from them. Their leader is Pope. Apparently he marked Maggie.’

Nix nodded, taking the information in. ‘There’s always another fight,’

‘I know. I’m sorry.’

‘Not on you, is it? You taking volunteers?’

Daryl glanced down at Adam and reached over to ruffle the toddler’s hair. ‘What about this one?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘I don’t know. Enid could take care of him for me. I might get Jesus to take care of him too. Maggie mentioned he was good with Hershel.’

‘Paul was good with Hershel. He’ll do anything you ask of him, and not just because you’re my kid.’

A frown made its way over Nix’s face. The way Daryl called Jesus by his real name. The soft, distant fondness on his face. Nix didn’t push it. He’d tell her if he wanted her to know. Maybe there had been something between the two men at one point, but Nix didn’t know. She had never really asked her dad about that kind of thing. All she knew now, was he missed Connie, had been desperate to get her back, still hoped she was out there.

‘Get him and Aaron to babysit. Bonding time. It’s about time those two acted on their feelings.’

Nix laughed a little. The two men hadn’t been subtle about it, stolen glances and shy smiles. Plus, they were the only openly gay men, and their options were limited. ‘I’ll ask them. I know Alden will be going, whether I go or not.’

‘Are you two a package deal?’

Nix looked away, pressing her lips together. ‘Yeah. Package deal. With this little freebie.’ She held Adam up, letting him jump a little on her legs. It got the kid smiling and laughing.

‘Very official,’ Daryl signed.

‘Shut up.’ Nix shoved her father’s shoulder. ‘While I’m here,’ she signed and gave Adam to Daryl. He looked mildly alarmed at the sudden toddler in his hands and looked even more alarmed when he saw Nix whip out one of her knives. ‘Stay still.’

Daryl couldn’t move quick enough, scared to drop Adam. Nix cut at Daryl’s hair and cackled a little at the length of it in her hands.

Daryl didn’t look pleased.

‘Well, now that I’ve started, I can’t leave you looking lopsided.’

Like a grumpy child, Daryl sat through the haircut. She cut away some length, got it out of his face. It was shorter and cleaner than before, and he looked almost human. Adam had tried to pull out Daryl’s hair, and Nix had taken advantage of his iron grip, cutting away thick sections until her father had been somewhat presentable.

‘You’re insufferable.’ Daryl signed once Nix had taken Adam from him.

‘I know.’ Nix reached over and pushed her fingers through his hair. He screwed his face up and endured the affection she was giving him, a small smile on his face. ‘I’m going to get him some food. Want some?’

Daryl shook his head and let Nix go.

 


 

 

Nix, Sophia and Alden were going along on the mission to Meridian. Maggie told them about the people who had attacked. Nix didn’t like the sound of them, not knowing they were there until it was too late. It reminded her of those old movies of spies. Were those people spies before? Or something else?

Negan was the head of the mission. He knew the way through Virginia, how to get to Meridian through the city. They were a large group, consisting of Maggie’s people, Frost, Agatha, Cole, Elijah and Duncan, as well as some of their people from Alexandria. Nix wasn’t sure how to feel about the people Maggie had brought. Cole was weird. Elijah wore a mask all the time, so she never knew if he was speaking to her or not. Agatha, Frost and Duncan were new. Duncan was a big bulky guy, but he seemed to have a kind heart, playing with Hershel went asked. Jesus had wanted to come along, but Maggie had denied it; she told him Rick needed him back in Alexandria, and she wanted him to keep an eye on Hershel. He relented and offered to look after Adam for Nix and Alden, so long as they came back safe and sound.

The mission was possibly a suicide one. But if it meant bringing back food, taking out another bad in the world … well, it had to be worth it.

Except for the rain. The rain was absolutely not worth it. The sun had set, and the heavens opened up and poured down on them, drenching them down to their bones. The wind was rough too, whipping hoods, hats and hair everywhere. Nix kept a hold on Alden so that he could lead her if the group suddenly changed direction. It didn’t help that Nix didn’t feel quite well, but she pushed it aside, trying to ignore the way her stomach was churning. They needed food, and they were going to do their damn best to get it.

Alden squeezed her hand, and she looked at him. He pointed to a building, and Nix followed his gaze. It was an entryway to the metro. It would be underground, get them out of the weather. They’d have to try and go down the right routes. Negan would know them, would take them the right way to Maggie’s old place.

Their group went in, their flashlights on as they went down the stairs. Nix pushed her hood down as she went. At least it’d give them a chance to dry out from the weather. She looked to Negan, who had his back to her, talking to her father. As much as they could take a break, it felt like they were short on time and needed to get there as fast as possible. With Maggie pushing them to keep on going, it was going to be hard to try and get a break.

‘Negan wants to stop. The weather’s not going to stop any time soon.’ Sophia signed, coming to stand beside Nix. ‘Maggie doesn’t want to stop. And Negan doesn’t want to go in there.’

Nix stopped from rolling her eyes. Negan told them the right route to go down, and they stepped off the platform and onto the railway. Something was churning in Nix, and she flashed her light to the other end.

‘What’s wrong?’ Negan asked. He’d hung back a little, reluctant to go. The others were already going, with Maggie leading the way. Negan already had a notebook out, ready. He’d been picking up sign language slowly but didn’t understand it when Nix signed at her usual speed.

Walkers have to be down here. I don’t trust
that we’re alone. There will be blockages
and Maggie’s going to push people to their
limit to try and get to Meridian in time.

Negan nodded his head. “We think alike, Nix Dixon. Don’t let your father hear about that.”

Sophia rushed back to them and looked between them. ‘Come on.’ she signed, and took hold of Nix’s hand and pulled her along. “You need to be up front, leading the way, asshole.”

 


 

 

They’d all been walking for what felt like hours. Constantly moving forwards, directed by Negan through the dark, damp tunnels. Nix kept looking back. There had to be countless walkers somewhere in the tunnels. Trying to find them. It was only so long before they caught up to them.

In the tunnels, on the walls, their flashlights caught images on the walls. Painted skeletons, graffiti from Before, and much more. It was a little creepy. She spotted some words written in white: IF THERE IS A GOD HE WILL HAVE TO BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS

Nix glanced to Gabriel. Ever the religious one. Nix jerked at the sudden harsh vibrations. It had to be creaking metal overhead. She looked around and watched as Alden moved away to touch at the wall, to figure it out.

‘He said the storm’s pushing air through the pipes, making them groan,’ Sophia translated for Nix. She nodded and turned her flashlight up to the ceiling. Water was dripping down from it.

‘How many times do you think this place has flooded since it was abandoned?’ she asked. Sophia didn’t look pleased with the thought and verbalised it to the others. Negan shot Nix a look. They’d both been thinking the same thing. Negan had to know how regularly the place had to have flooded Before. Now, with no regulated system, they were lucky they weren’t wading through three feet of stagnant water.

Negan made a comment that had Gabriel looking at him, spitting back some quick retort to try and shut him up. Everyone was far too aware that Negan didn’t want to be there, wanted to be back in his cell and eating his square meals. Negan’s flashlight highlighted waterline marks. The marks went way above their heads. At least Nix could swim.

But they had to keep going, despite Negan’s protests. They had to keep on moving.

Dog came to a stop after a while, and then the smell swamped all of them. Nix covered her nose with her sleeve, swallowing hard. There were dozens upon dozens of dead bodies, wrapped in plastic that seemed to be rotting, full of mould and all sorts of nasty things. She reckoned they had to be from Before, when things had first started to fall. Nix’s stomach was churning worse than ever, and she did her best not to gag and throw up the small contents of her stomach. Alden put a hand on her back, giving her quiet support as Daryl moved towards one of the wrapped bodies.

The body jerked up, then he grabbed it and stabbed it. Someone said something, and then Nix’s father was opening up the plastic wrap.

‘The walker didn’t make any noise,’ Alden told her. ‘It’s freaked the others out.’

‘Well, now you’ll know what it’s like for me.’ The two shared a smile. ‘Maggie wants us to take out all the dead in the bags. Make sure they won’t bother us through here.’

Nix looked over at the others, who were starting to get to work, and she nodded. They got to work, stabbing at the dead in the bags, making sure that they were truly dead as they slowly made their way through the tunnel. The smell was completely rancid, and it made Nix feel sick. Once or twice, bile rose in her throat, burning it, but she managed to swallow and compose herself. She knew that Alden had noticed and that Sophia had too. They kept glancing at her every so often, concern in their faces. She didn’t know what was wrong; the smell of the dead had never bothered her so much before. Maybe she’d caught a bug in Alexandria, which was the last thing she needed.

The group continued to keep on stabbing the heads of the dead, steadily getting through the lot before there was a struggle behind them. Nix turned around and saw Gage having trouble with a particularly fat walker, all rotting and disgusting. No-one went to his aid except for Negan, who struggled with it. Nix sighed and twisted her knife in her hand before she threw it at the walker’s head. It went limp against Negan’s force, and he let it go, dropping to the ground. He looked at her, giving her a nod before he took out her knife and handed it back to her. She took it, feeling displeased that no-one had helped Gage, and had left Negan to try and deal with the walker on his own. She looked back at the others to see them all watching. She knew the guy was an asshole, had done unforgivable things, but he was of use. There was no point in getting him killed, otherwise they’d get lost in the tunnels of the railway system. Unfortunately, they needed him and his knowledge. Nix watched as Negan spoke to the others, and he gestured to her and Gage a few times.

God, the smell made her want to retch. She didn’t care what Negan was saying, that he was angry at Maggie for saying some pointless shit of pay attention. Nix was getting tired of it, and Alden and Sophia seemed to take note of it.

“You can’t just tell us to pay attention when you’re death marching us!” Sophia snapped, standing beside Nix. “We’ve been fighting and fighting while you were off on your little trip with Hershel and those guys. I don’t care what you lot went through, ‘cause we’ve been through some stupid shit too. You’re gonna send us to early graves if you’re not careful, Maggie.”

Seeing Sophia snap like that, something changed a little in Maggie. Like she hadn’t expected someone to challenge her. But Sophia had a point. Maggie was hardly letting them rest, her determination taking over them as a priority. They needed rest, were exhausted from constant runs, taking care of their families. It was like Maggie was forgetting they were human and needed to recover from the war.

Negan kept making a good argument, how they didn’t know if the tunnel had a way out, how Maggie hadn’t been listening to them. That she was the one who didn’t listen but gave orders; didn’t give a shit about Gage, since it was Negan who came to the rescue, and then everyone else had just watched on. He said something about being out, not wanting to be on this trip any longer, and then Gage was saying the same thing. Nix watched Gage talking to Alden, all nerves in his face. Why, oh why had Maggie thought it was a good idea to bring Gage along? He was barely even seventeen. The kid should’ve been left in Alexandria, not brought along on this mission. They didn’t even know if Maggie’s old community was still standing, or if it had been burnt to ashes. The old guy, Roy, apparently also wanted out. Nix didn’t like it, the conditions they were having to deal with, but she wasn’t going to back out. They needed to do this. The others wanted Negan since he knew the city, that was his only use.

‘She brought me here to die,’ Negan signed slowly as he spoke. Nix looked to Maggie, who wasn’t denying it. Everyone knew Maggie had never forgiven Negan for murdering Glenn. Nix didn’t expect Maggie to ever forgive him for how he had done it, that he’d done it. But it was pointless bringing him out here to die. It wouldn’t do any of them good to lose people on this mission, making it harder and harder. Sure, Nix knew how to read maps, but having someone there who knew the area properly, it would help.

Negan kept talking, doing what he did best, but then Nix saw his lips form Glenn’s name, and then she and her father were moving. Nix got there first, punching him hard in the face. It knocked him down onto the ground. Daryl jerked a little, surprised at Nix’s quick move, and then he pulled her back a little, to make sure she wasn’t going to do anything else.

‘I’m sick of this bullshit, let’s go.’ Nix signed to Sophia, who nodded, an angry look on her face. Maggie spoke down to Negan as they left, but then Alden was there, keeping pace with them. They could get ahead, scout the dangerous area, and see what the hell they were going to be up against.

Chapter 26: Arguments and Anger

Chapter Text

Alden and Sophia were by Nix’s side. That’s all that she needed. Her best friend and her boyfriend. If only Carl and Enid were there. They would’ve made one hell of a team-up, the five of them. They kept stabbing at the walkers in the bags, clearing them out. At some point, the others had caught up with them. Nix didn’t care. They had bodies to take care of. There were so many walkers. It was going to take an age to get through all the corpses.

There was a distant rumbling. Nix stopped, then took her flashlight and turned it down the tunnel they’d been coming down.

‘What?’ Alden asked when she looked back to him. He’d stopped in his actions to watch her, to follow her lead if be.

‘Can’t you sense it? The dead are coming,’ she signed to him. ‘You can hear them, but I can feel the vibrations. A horde is coming. I don’t know how far away it is. The tunnel makes it intense.’

Alden nodded and spoke Nix’s concern to the others. Maggie looked at them. “We keep going. There’s no other way than forward.”

No shit, Nix thought to herself. The horde was following them. They were desperate for food, were going to fight to get Meridian under Maggie’s control and were risking their lives. No other way than forward because it was their only way. They were too far into the mission to back out now. It all dragged slowly, a constant thing that repeated itself. They stabbed the walkers in their plastic wraps as the pipes around them creaked.

The group paused after a moment, and Alden tapped Nix’s shoulder. She looked to him, and he pointed down the tunnel, where they could see a train blocking their way.

‘Did no-one else expect that to happen? The rainwater going so high with a current could push the bodies and the train down the tunnel.’

‘Maybe you should be in charge,’ he signed to her, which caught Sophia’s attention. She grinned at the two and rolled her eyes, jerking a thumb at Maggie, Daryl and Negan.

‘Stupid,’ Nix signed to her. The two women were distracted when Alden’s flashlight died out, and he said something about needing a battery swap. They looked around, only to find that Gage and Roy had vanished, taking all of their supplies with them.

“Ammo clips, rations –” Gabriel started, listing off the things that had been taken. Nix knew full well what had been in those bags. Gage and Roy had been scared and had tried to leave, make a run for it. In these tunnels? Nix figured if they were scared, they wouldn’t last long. Gage was a jumpy kid, after mourning and dealing with his friends’ deaths and harassing Lydia, the kid had tried to prove himself too soon. He had grown up within Hilltop’s walls, forced into a war. But he hadn’t been on the front lines like everyone else. As for Roy? The man was old. Maybe he didn’t want to live out the last few of his days hunting for food and killing people. Maybe he wanted to go home and die in peace.

‘Why did they come along?’ Nix asked, looking to Sophia.

‘They volunteered.’ Sophia signed with a shrug. Annoyance mixed in with anger flooded Nix, and she had to push it down. They had tried to do what was best for the community, but they weren’t trained for it like everyone else had been.

Nix paused in her movement. The vibrations were getting more intense. It wasn’t just the pipes; the walkers she had taken note of, coming towards them, had started to catch up. She looked up and saw that her father had noticed too. Now they were trapped between the walkers and the train.

They moved into motion. Nix went with her father and Agatha, to shoot their arrows at them, whilst the others went to clear the rest of the dead on the ground and to see a way past the train. After a few arrows, Nix gave up on the bow and turned to her knives. Sophia was by Nix’s side, the two seemingly inseparable as they dealt with the wave of oncoming walkers.

It was like Alpha’s horde, coming after them, replacing one walker with five more. They were going to be overwhelmed before they could make a dint in the horde coming towards them. The others were helping too – Duncan, Frost and Elijah. But there were only so many of them against the oncoming dead.

‘Fall back,’ Sophia signed to Nix, grabbing her arm and pulling her along. Nix twisted and followed, grabbing one of her arrows out of one of the walkers as they went. They retreated to the train, but they couldn’t get in. So Daryl suggested that they go up top. Nix helped Sophia climb up with the others.

Nix saw Dog run off, and barely ten seconds later, her father had gone after him. She wasn’t sure what else she expected. Her dad loved that damn dog.

The horde was getting ever closer.

There were three of them left – Nix, Negan and Maggie. The walkers were getting close. Negan had climbed up, and Maggie went next. But Maggie was struggling. She couldn’t get up, hands slipping. Nix was busy with the inclosing dead. They were mere feet away from them. They were trapped. Nix ignored the sinking feeling that she was going to die. Nix stabbed at the closest walker, and thumped Maggie’s calf, trying to tell her to get a move on. The dead were almost upon them.

Maggie jumped down beside Nix, and the two moved together, killing the closest walkers.

‘Under,’ Nix signed quickly once Maggie had emptied her clip, bullets lodged in rotting brains. The two rushed into action, dropping to the floor and crawling under the train. Walkers tried to follow after them, and Nix kicked their heads in, with Maggie doing the same beside her. The walkers soon clogged up the way they had gotten in. The ones they had killed ended up blocking the way for the rest of the walkers.

They had to move on. Nix composed herself, the adrenaline rush starting to thin out. She got her breathing back to normal, and she and Maggie crawled along underneath the train. They had to find an entrance into one of the compartments. It was slow work; they had to try and be quiet, lest any roamers found them underneath on the sides of the train that weren’t compact with rubble. At one point, Nix felt a surge of nausea and had to stop, gagging into her elbow, and bile spewed from her mouth after several long seconds.

‘Are you OK?’ Maggie signed to her, concern lining her face.

‘The smell is making me feel sick,’ she told her, trying to dismiss the concern. She would worry about this later. She had bigger things to worry about, and being sick was one of the last things on her mind.

Regardless, the two kept moving. They used their light sparingly, not wanting to draw unwanted attention. Their eyes adjusted to the dark, and they kept their eyes peeled for one of the emergency exits of a train compartment. Maybe they’d catch up to the others or would find one broken and easy to get through. The minutes dragged on, and the stench continued to make Nix’s stomach churn. But she swallowed and composed herself, willing herself to not throw up again.

Once they came to a stop under one of the compartments, Nix watched as Maggie felt at the bottom of the train, and found a wheel, but it had rusted. After a few pitiful attempts, Maggie gave up and knocked on it in Morse code, hoping that the others would be up there, had managed to get into the train and weren’t still on top of it. The relief that flooded Nix was immense when the hatch opened up. Maggie climbed through it, and then Nix followed after.

She got in just in time to see Maggie hit Negan hard with her gun. It sent him sprawling to the floor. Nix didn’t know what had happened once Negan had gotten onto the top of the train, but she had a good feeling as to what Negan had (or rather hadn’t) done. Maggie explained it to their group, anger lining her face.

Alden moved around Negan to get to Nix, putting an arm around her, kissing the side of her head. ‘You worried me – and Sophia,’ he added when Sophia barrelled into the two of them, hugging Nix hard.

‘I have a bad habit of doing that,’ Nix signed once Sophia had finally let go of her and turned to stare at Negan, who shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. ‘Asshole.’ Beside her, Sophia said something, practically spitting it at Negan.

“No, she was in trouble, and I didn’t help. There is a big difference. Nix was stuck down there, about to be eaten because of Maggie.” Negan said, pointing between them. Before he could get another word out, Duncan had grabbed him and slammed him into the wall of the train, nearly lifting him up on his feet as he undoubtedly threatened Negan.

‘There’s no point threatening him. He acts as he pleases,’ Nix signed. ‘We have better things to do, like moving through these cars.’

‘Why are you so willing to let it go?’ Sophia asked, turning them both away from the main group. ‘He didn’t help Maggie, and he almost got you both killed.’

‘Because I knew he and Maggie don’t get along, knew I had to keep an eye on them. So I hung back. Besides, I know how to handle walkers and when to retreat. If Negan’s going to act out, then that’s what he’s going to do. We went into this knowing he hates all of us.’

The others around them were still angry at Negan, who kept talking, being more civil than Nix had ever seen him.

‘Sophia,’ Nix asked.

“Y’all better grow the fuck up,” Sophia said, having to restrain herself, holding Nix’s hand to keep her grounded. “He’s the one who’s getting us through this, the least we can do is not be complete assholes to hi–”

Sophia had been cut off, and Nix followed her friend’s gaze, chasing after her through the cars until they got to one of the rusted doors. Alden rushed forwards, moving past them, immediately trying to help Gage and get him into their car.

Nix couldn’t see their faces properly, so couldn’t try to lip read. Whatever Gage was saying, it had got him all scared and nervous, running to try and find safety. ‘He got separated from Roy,’ Sophia translated when she saw the confused look on Nix’s face. Negan appeared, trying to open the door as Gage spoke to them.

Negan turned to look at them, “Hey, this one seems a bit looser –” Whatever he said next, Nix couldn’t understand it. She moved forwards to try and help him unlock the door for Gage, but she caught the worried look on Negan’s face. “Your valiant leader doesn’t want to save him.” He spoke clearly, though maybe mouthed it so the others wouldn’t hear him. She glanced over to Maggie, who was arguing with Alden and Sophia.

Alden turned to help Nix when Negan moved away. Barely ten seconds later, Duncan came and pulled them away.

‘He’s a child!’ Nix signed angrily. Beside her, Sophia had turned and started to shout at Maggie, pissed that she wasn’t going to help Gage, and was getting her people to stop them.

Gage started to cry, and Nix could tell he was begging, apologising for running off and leaving. “I won’t do it again,” he said, and Nix tried to move past Duncan, but he grabbed her arm. She made a noise and went for her knife, yanking her arm from Duncan’s grip. Gabriel stopped her, holding his shotgun up in front of her. Behind her, Alden had tried to get past too.

But now it was too late. Nix could see the walkers approaching Gage. She could only watch as he took out his knives, then stabbed himself. He died just as the walkers grabbed him. At least he wouldn’t feel the pain. She refused to look away. Maggie had caused this, wouldn’t let them at least try and help him.

Nix didn’t think. She turned around and punched Maggie square in the face. Alden and Sophia grabbed her before the others could and pulled her away before she could do more than just punch Maggie.

‘You selfish bitch!’ Nix signed angrily. ‘You coward, you let a boy die because you’re too selfish to care for anyone else but yourself!’

Maggie stared at her, eyebrows pulling together, the corners of her mouth twitching. “I … don’t understand her.”

Sophia turned her nose up, disgust on her face. “You’re a fucking coward, Maggie. Glenn would be so fucking disappointed in you. You selfish asshole.” She looked to Nix and Alden, and the three of them pushed past the others, shouldering their way past them. The three sat down together, with Alden keeping hold of Nix’s hand, just in case she wanted to try for another round.

 


 

 

Duncan and Frost were trying the other door. Maggie was in the gap between their two cars. Negan was with Nix, Alden and Sophia. Negan paced as Gabriel watched him. Elijah was sat down with them too, a few seats away.

Sophia had gotten up, pacing like Negan, but mostly in an attempt to get her anger out whilst Negan looked unnerved. Nix turned to look at the others. Maggie had shut the door between their two cars and lit a flare when Elijah’s flashlight went out. Feeling her anger rising once more, Nix turned away from looking at Maggie and found her eyes on the door to the walkers, where Gage’s corpse was, half-eaten and mangled.

She’d expected it, but it still hurt to see Gage’s corpse rise, now nothing more than a shell, a walker. Alden followed her gaze and she saw him clench his jaw. The two shared a look, a mutual understanding of one another. They felt like they had failed Gage, unable to get past Maggie and her men to try and save the damn kid. Now he was more than dead, and his dead eyes looked at them. She tightened her hold on Alden’s hand, and he did the same thing.

The others noticed that Gage’s body had reanimated. Nix saw them all turn away from looking at him. Sophia had stopped her pacing and had crossed her arms over her chest, staring at Gage. It was like she was trying to force herself to remember it every time she closed her eyes. She looked close to tears, maybe not from sorrow, but more out of anger. Whether that anger was on behalf of Gage or not, Nix didn’t know.

Alden spoke, something that Nix didn’t catch, but she had an inkling as to what he had said. They’d both caught on to how the others had reacted to seeing walker-Gage.

“All that is, is the shell of a man who died a coward,” Gabriel said, looking at them.

No. Nix was not having that. She could deal with everyone bickering, could deal with Maggie leading them on a death march with Gabriel egging her on. But not that.

She scoffed and saw Sophia turn to look at them all, pure fury in her eyes. ‘Man?’ she asked, eyebrows raised as she looked at Gabriel. She had turned her whole body to look at him, barely aware that Alden had put his arm around her middle, just in case she tried to start a fight. ‘Gage was a boy. Say his name.’ She waited, but Gabriel didn’t. ‘That was a child in our care, and he begged for you to let him in. We all know there was time to get him out. You were all just a bunch of pussies and didn’t want to risk your own damn skin for a kid who made a mistake.

Sophia moved over, coming to Nix’s defence when Gabriel started to try and talk back. “Gage was a fucking child, Gabriel. We let him down and we fucking murdered him. We all know he never should’ve been here with us, but oh, our fearless leaders Maggie Rhee and Gabriel fucking Stokes will take all the goddamn bodies they want to make sure this mission is a success.”

Maggie was watching them, eyes flitting between Nix and Sophia. “Tell me I’m wrong. That you won’t leave any of us for dead if either of us gets hurt. Nix is fucking deaf, and she can’t hear shit. Will you be looking out for her in case the Reapers turn up? Or will you leave her as a goddamn distraction so you can get your asses to safety?”

“Sophia –” Maggie tried to speak, but Sophia was on a roll now.

“No. Shut the fuck up, Maggie. Things have changed since I last saw you – since Nix last saw you. You don’t get to play God with our lives. We’re here for the people we love. My girlfriend back home, Nix and Alden’s son back home. If any of us die, it is on your fucking head. We aren’t your people anymore, are we? We’re just some people you survived with and fucking ditched to try and have something better for yourself. You left, and when the Whisperers came, we did it by ourselves. We did what we had to do. And you know what? Jesus is a better leader than you could ever be. At least he would try and save Gage, unlike you. So fuck you, Maggie. If any more of us die on this stupid mission, I want you to know we will haunt your fucking dreams and make you realise we are not your little toy soldiers to throw around.”

Sophia came to a stop, chest heaving. She glared at Maggie, who looked away, to Gabriel.

“Sophia. You know what this mission is for,” Gabriel said, speaking slowly like he was trying not to spook a wounded animal. “We all knew the risks coming into it. What we’re doing for everyone else back home. For your girlfriend, for their son –”

“Fuck you, Gabriel. I still remember when you wept like a little bitch up on that boulder. Oh, how far you’ve come, and it certainly hasn’t been a good change, dear Father. Next time you speak with God, tell him you’re nothing more than dirt on this already stained world. Because if you’re really a man of God, then you’d feel remorse for leaving Gage to die like that.”

Nix reached over and took hold of Sophia’s hand, and gently tugged her towards her and Alden. Beside her, Alden was speaking softly to her, trying to get her to calm down.

Maggie looked at them all, a miserable sort of look in her eyes before she started to speak to them. Nix didn’t care for whatever it was Maggie had to say to them. So she made no effort in trying to lip read, as Maggie made no effort to try and sign along with her words. Maggie had changed since the farm, and Nix thought she was more of a stranger than anything else. She moved closer, towards Nix and Alden. They looked at her, but Nix still couldn’t understand what she was saying. She gave up and leaned into Alden’s side, holding his left hand in both of hers.

Several long minutes later, Duncan and Frost had managed to open the door they’d been working on. Nix watched them by Sophia’s side, saw Duncan shake his head. She shared a look with Sophia, both of them disappointed and angry all in one. The door was getting looser – it had been loose enough that they could’ve saved Gage, Nix knew it – but then Maggie was ordering everyone about. Duncan was pounding on the other door, trying to shift the block, Elijah was placing flares on either side of the door.

They moved aside and let Gabriel take lead, holding his shotgun up at the door, ready for when the walkers came through. Nix took hold of her bow from her back, and held the riser tightly, swallowing her fury and hate. She took an arrow from her quiver and nocked it, drawing it back and anchoring it to her face. Beside her, Sophia was holding her machete, whilst Maggie copied Nix’s movement.

The door collapsed and the walkers pushed through. Gabriel shot first, and the shell tore Gage’s head apart. He shot and shot and shot until his shotgun ran out, giving Nix and Maggie the time to fire their arrows. Sophia came forward and slammed her machete into one of the walker’s head. They moved aside and Gabriel returned with another gun, this one a semi-automatic. The bullets ran out quick.

“Al,” Sophia called to him as she stood beside Nix once more. The two stood together, with Alden on their left, taking out the walkers, backing away strategically. All that training to fight the Whisperers had proved its worth, the three working well together to try and fend off the walkers and stagger them to ensure they wouldn’t overwhelm them. Aaron had trained them all well for the Whisperers, now they could use that training on the regular walkers that just wanted to eat them.

Staggering the walkers worked well, saved the bullets, but they were running low on arrows. When she could, Nix grabbed her arrows back, but some snapped or broke. She would have to make more when she had the time. Until then, she resorted to her knives.

It was a constant that Nix was used to. Footsteps rushed behind her, a commotion at their back. But there were people there with her, who would let her know what was going on and how bad things would be. But the constant flow of walkers was going to tire them out. It was like a never-ending stream of walkers. They could only go on for so long before they would become exhausted. Elijah and Cole took over from them so that they could catch their breath.

Then Alden grabbed Nix’s arm, and pointed to where Duncan and Frost had been. Negan and her father were there, and now the door was open. Grabbing Sophia’s hand, Nix and Alden rushed forwards. Maggie went through first, followed by Agatha, the three, then Elijah and Cole. Nix skidded to a stop, bumping into Alden as Sophia stumbled into the pair of them.

“GET BEHIND SOMETHING!” Daryl yelled at them. Nix grabbed Sophia again and pulled her back down behind one of the seats. Nix fell to the floor as Sophia landed right on top of her. They covered each other’s heads and then Nix felt what had to be an explosion, and she jumped in surprise. She felt Sophia’s sharp exhale of breath and the way she tightened her grip on Nix’s arm. Once the dust and walker guts had settled in the adjoining car, the two clambered to their feet and looked around at the others. Well. That solved one problem for now.

‘Shall we continue?’ Nix asked, gesturing to the exit of the train car.

‘You’re the only one I like,’ Negan signed to her, a hint of amusement on his face. Nix resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Maggie spoke to the rest of the group before they moved on out of the train car.

They squeezed past the train and out into the open tunnel. Negan and Maggie led the way, and Nix could see the tension rising between the two again. They came across a few walkers in plastic bags that were quick and easy to take out. It seemed that they had gotten through the worst part of the tunnels. Nix knew it was only going to last for so long and then they’d come across another bump in the road.

Nix kept pace with her father, glad that he was finally back with them. He looked a little roughened up, smelled dirty again and looked like he was covered in some weird wet stuff.

‘Where the fuck did you go?’

‘Went after Dog,’ he signed. ‘I found Roy. He was banged up to shit. We’re going to get him first.’

‘OK. Glad you’re safe,’

The two Dixons shared a small smile. Ten minutes later, they had Roy back in their group. He was injured. Maggie spoke to him, though didn’t look too worried. Sophia muttered to herself, cursing and cursing as she rummaged through her bag. She took out some gauze, bandages and some rubbing alcohol.

“Sit,” Nix saw her say. “Enid isn’t here, so I’m second best.”

“Sophia,” Maggie said.

Sophia put her middle finger in Maggie’s face, and the older woman backed off. Nix turned to look at Alden, and the two shrugged their shoulders. They knew not to bother Sophia when she was angry, and Maggie had done nothing but further that anger. Once Sophia had treated Roy’s wounds, they set off once more. Roy couldn’t quite walk, too injured, so Daryl took on the responsibility of helping Roy walk. He took on most of his weight, but Nix could see the pain in Roy’s face, that every step was hurting him.

But they made it to another platform. They climbed on top of it, and Alden helped Roy up with Daryl. It took a toll on the old man. But they had made it, the stairs were right there. Roy needed a minute, to catch his breath. Daryl sat down, and Nix leaned against him. They’d already lost one amongst them, and it looked like Roy was slowly on his way out.

‘What’s that?’ she asked when Daryl pulled out some money. It was old and had some writing on it.

‘Nothing,’ he signed. She didn’t push him on it. Nearby, Negan gave Maggie a gun. When had he been given a gun? Nix pushed the thoughts from her mind. Whatever. She had bigger things to think about. ‘It’s a letter from this kid to his parents. From Before.’ He tilted the flashlight in hand and let Nix read it quickly. She watched as he tucked it in his glove.

Then Maggie told them they had to take a detour first. Nix looked up in time to see a look of pure annoyance on Sophia’s face as she turned away and rolled her eyes. Nix tried to hold back the smile; somehow Sophia was always making her laugh and smile. They got up and let Maggie take them on a detour.

It was still quite dark out, and Maggie had them walking on the main road. It put Nix’s teeth on edge; she hated being out in the open, and they were like that while in potential Reaper territory? Nix kept a hand on her bow, her free hand had her fingers grazing the nocks on her arrows. With Alden and Sophia on either side of her, she felt a little safer. But there was something that was making her tense.

Dog was moving ahead of them, and Roy was able to walk without the help of others. The group continued on walking. They were trying to get to a hidden supply depot in Arbor Hills, and Negan knew where that was. Though none of them were too pleased with the detour, it was supposed to have supplies, which they desperately needed.

The group slowed their pace when they started to see the hanging bodies. They were upside down, and Nix felt her stomach drop, knowing that they hadn’t been walkers, and had been fairly recent kills. Though decaying, they were not like the other walkers they had come across, half-rotted and disgusting. They were in the depths of Reaper territory. The dead bodies lined the road, and it went on and on, beyond the hill. Nix pulled out an arrow and nocked it on her bow. Negan turned to them, probably making a smart-ass comment –

Something sharp cut her cheek, and then Roy had collapsed to the ground, an arrow in his eye. Nix jerked into a crouch as Cole almost collapsed, something embedded in his leg, and then Nix realised his hand had been cut off. Nix turned to look in the direction the weapon came from, but it was too dark to tell.

‘Hide,’ she signed quickly, and the group rushed off to the other side of the road, to hide amongst the trees. Crouched down, hidden behind shrubbery and the trees, Nix saw the Reapers come out onto the road and stalk towards them. There were more of them than there was of Nix and her group. How many were there?

She became aware of the stinging in her face, the wetness streaking down it, and so she touched her cheek. There was a cut, letting a steady stream of blood out. It would be a bleeder, but she knew she’d be fine. It wasn’t deep enough for her to worry about. Nix held her bow tightly, her fingers around the arrow nocked in place. She had no idea where the others were, had to hope that they’d have her back, as they got ready to fight.

They were under attack, and blood was going to be spilt.

Chapter 27: Knocked Off Course

Chapter Text

Wherever Nix turned, there was a Reaper. She fought her way past them, trying not to get killed. She was terrified, but she wasn’t going to let that get the best of her. She was Nix Dixon, and she wasn’t going to let these Reaper assholes kill her. The others were fighting, doing their damndest to stay alive as the Reapers descended upon them.

Knives in hand, Nix looked around. Sophia was fighting with a Reaper and was having a struggle. Channelling her fury and anger, Nix attacked the Reaper, leaping onto their back. Her sudden weight toppled them over. Sophia was there, and the two slammed their knives into the Reaper, killing them.

Sophia grabbed at Nix’s arm, and then they were running deep into the woods. Nix glanced over her shoulder and saw the others either still fighting or turning tail like they had and scattered. She couldn’t spot her father or Alden. All she could do was keep pace with Sophia as they sprinted away.

Her chest was burning, lungs craving oxygen, but Nix could only run into the darkness with her best friend by her side. A machete with a curved end whizzed past Nix’s head, and she gasped, knocking Sophia to the side so that they turned directions. One of the Reapers were after them. They got out of the woods, and Nix led them to the side, hiding in some brambles and bushes.

The two watched, hands over their mouths to muffle their pants, as a Reaper came into view. They looked around, the machete back in hand, as they tried to spot Nix and Sophia. The two women watched as the Reaper stalked off down the road. Sophia gently nudged Nix, who slid her bow off her back and took out an arrow.

Shooting from the ground was tricky, and it had taken a long time before Nix could master it. Arrow nocked, Nix drew the bowstring back and anchored. She aimed, then let the arrow fly. It shot through the air and landed squarely in the Reaper’s neck.

The two scrambled up to their feet and ran. Sophia grabbed the arrow as they went and the two were off.

Time passed steadily. Now walking, Nix and Sophia were hiding in the shade of the morning light. Stomachs empty, feet sore, they kept moving. Neither of them knew where to rendezvous with Maggie and the others. Where the hell was Abor Hills? They didn’t have Negan with them to help them. They’d have to try and find the others on their own. Nix reckoned they’d have a better chance if they went back towards the tunnels.

‘Where the fuck are we?’ Sophia asked.

Nix shrugged, looking at their current surroundings. They had walked into a sort of suburban area, a few abandoned homes and buildings. Overhead, there were some vultures. In the distance, Nix spotted a building and pointed to it.

WELLHAVEN PLAZA

‘Our best shot at regrouping,’ Nix signed.

Sophia eyed it before nodding. ‘There could be Reapers inside.’

‘Good job we’re fighters.’

Bow in hand, arrow nocked, Nix led the way forwards. They went through a parking lot, full of abandoned cars. They were rusted and broken. Some cars had tyres missing, doors gone, windows smashed in. Maybe people had stayed there, at first, given that some had cloth covering the windows. It didn’t matter. They were all gone now.

The weeds and grass were overgrown, and leaves covered the concrete ground the closer they got to the building. It was large, bigger than the ones Nix could remember going to Before. They moved around the building, checking for walkers or Reapers before they crept through the broken glass doors.

Inside the mall, there were what felt like hundreds of stores. Some had the shutters down, dented or covered in blood, moss and ivy. Others had been broken open and items no doubt stolen. Nix kept glancing back, out through the broken doors. She half expected Reapers to be running towards them. But the Reapers didn’t run. They snuck on the sidelines, hidden by shadows. They threw their weapons long distance and attacked when their opponents were weakened.

Sophia grabbed Nix suddenly and pushed them into one of the broken stores. The two hid in the shadows and crouched, watching. A reaper appeared on the balcony across and up from them. From the looks of it, this one had been tailing them.

‘Can you make the shot?’ Sophia asked. It was a good hundred feet away. She’d have to hit them in the chest first before getting them in the head.

‘I can make a shot.’

‘Don’t blow our cover.’

Nix ignored her and drew the bowstring back once more. Her eyes were on the target only. Neck? Not likely. Shoulder? That seemed more probable. It would probably hit in the chest – but what type of armour would the Reaper be wearing?

She anchored her arrow and took careful aim, moving as her target moved. She could feel her heartbeat, strong and steady. She knew what she could do, what she was capable of.

The arrow went flying through the air.

The Reaper collapsed, the arrow protruding from the base of their neck.

Nix and Sophia waited for a moment with bated breath. When no more Reapers came, they swallowed their fear and stepped out of the store. Nix rushed up the stairs and retrieved her arrow before joining Sophia.

They made it through the building slowly. There didn’t seem to be any other Reapers in the building, or at least, weren’t visible to the two. So they continued on their trek. Sophia led the way down to the lower floors of the building until they got to part of the building that had been in the middle of some renovation. There were some escalators on their right, but they ignored them in favour of getting closer to the furniture in the middle of the floor, circling around some of the pillars. There were a few mannequins scattered around, and it gave the mall a creepier feel about it.

‘Bow up,’ Sophia signed to her, and Nix did as she asked. Together, they stepped forwards into the circle of furniture. ‘Someone breathing. Over there.’

Nix nodded and drew back the bowstring once more. She sidestepped and made her way over, approaching the area whilst Sophia followed close behind.

Alden jumped out from the spot, and Nix’s heart did a funny flip before she rushed forwards and hugged Alden. Sophia was close behind, and once the two let go, Alden pulled Sophia into a hug too.

‘What happened to your face?’ Alden asked, looking at Nix. He put his hands on either side of Nix’s face, examining the cut there. Nix had forgotten about it; she’d had more pressing matters than a cut to her face. Still, she let Alden look at it, tilting her head to make sure that it would be OK, wouldn’t get infected.

‘Are you OK?’ she asked, then took hold of his hands. Her eyes met his, and he nodded after a moment. The two hugged, and Nix was so glad to have him back. She clung to him, trying to steady her breathing before she pulled away and looked at him.

Alden was roughened up, with a few cuts and bruises, but he was otherwise OK. Nix gave him a quick kiss, relief in her that he was alive and OK.

Then Sophia grabbed them and shoved them back onto the floor. Nix looked at the two, waiting for a signal.

‘Someone’s approaching. Footsteps.’ Alden signed to her. She nodded and carefully drew the string back.

Sophia, face of stone, nodded, and then the three jumped out, weapons raised and ready.

It was Maggie.

Alden and Sophia were knocked to the side, sending Nix tumbling to the floor when they bumped into her. Her heart leapt out of her chest, and she tried to get her bearings. Two Reapers were fighting Alden and Sophia. As Nix tried to get up, yet another Reaper appeared and pushed her back until she was slammed into one of the pillars. The Reaper tried to slash at her with their sickle and caught her arm.

Anger filled Nix, and she kicked at the Reaper hard in the chest. They stumbled and Nix pounced on them. She grabbed the Reaper’s hand that held the sickle, and she forced it downwards. It pierced the Reaper’s chest, and then she grabbed the handle and dragged it down. Beneath her, the Reaper was writhing and shaking before going still.

Hands wet with warm blood; Nix held the sickle tightly. A Reaper had attacked Maggie whilst Nix had been distracted with her own Reaper, and Negan was there, taking out the Reaper that attacked Maggie. Sophia had fought off her Reaper and was helping Alden with his.

Nix threw the sickle at the Reaper, who jerked upon impact, blade impacted deep in the flesh of his back. The Reaper threw something, and Nix ducked for cover when she realised it had been some sort of bomb.

The bomb went off, and the smoke choked Nix. Her head was hurting, and she was seeing double. A hand was in front of her, and she accepted it from Negan. He hefted her to her feet, and she looked around, gasping for air.

Sophia was laid on the ground, holding her side, and Alden was slouched against a cabinet. Nix rushed over to them, lost on what to do.

Sophia brushed her hand away, mouth moving before she was trying to sit up. Figuring Sophia wasn’t going to drop dead, Nix turned her attention onto Alden. He looked bad. Alden let Nix lift up his shirt, seeing the look on her face. She couldn’t stop the grimace as she took in the slashes on his abdomen. If they didn’t treat it, it would get infected – Alden could die. She looked up at him.

‘That good, yeah?’ he signed, and Nix felt her mouth move, not quite managing to make a smile or upturn the ends. ‘Sophia,’

Nix looked to Sophia. There was blood staining her side, but she had managed to sit up. Maggie was beside her, trying to help her. Nix turned back to Alden, and she felt completely lost.

Behind them, Maggie and Negan were talking. ‘Maggie wants us to keep going,’ Alden signed, and Nix shook her head.

‘Look at you! You’re hurt, Sophia too. We make you walk; it’ll be a death march.’

‘Nix,’ Alden signed, taking hold of one of her hands. ‘They’ll come back. We have to keep moving.’

Nix clenched her jaw, then turned to look at the others. Sophia had gotten up, but Negan was holding her upright as she held onto the stained area of her shirt. Negan was asking Maggie something.

“The plan doesn’t change,” Maggie said clearly, and Nix’s jaw slackened a little as Sophia stared at Maggie.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” Sophia snapped, then winced. “Like Nix said, you make us walk, it’ll be a death march. Alden needs to see Enid. I probably need stitches. What’re you gonna do, send Nix into war as another body? We are not toy soldiers, Maggie.”

“Then we get you somewhere safe,” Maggie said sternly, then glanced down at Alden and Nix. “Can you walk?” she asked, eyes on Alden.

Nix looked at him, and she hated how determined he was sometimes. How he was putting himself through so much pain just because Maggie asked. She helped him to his feet, ignoring how her own body was starting to ache now that the adrenaline was leaving her. She felt so tired, but she knew that the mission had barely begun. Before Alden could ask, Nix had shouldered her bow and had taken his arm over her shoulders, taking on most of his weight.

“Nix,” he said, and she signed shut up at him, but there was a fond look on her face, all sad and miserable. She hadn’t been able to protect him, just like Hazel.

He couldn’t leave her like Hazel had. If she lost him too … well, she didn’t know what would happen.

Sophia shifted a little on her feet, then held up a bloodied hand, ‘Just a scratch,’ she signed. She had an annoyed look on her face, much like usual, and Nix felt like everything was falling apart. Best friend hurt, boyfriend severely injured … and they were still being told to keep moving.

Negan caught what Sophia had signed to Nix. He caught Nix's eye, then shook his head. It was more than just a scratch.

The bottom of her stomach dropped. This was not happening. This was not happening.

Negan and Maggie looked at each other and spoke some more. Maggie had copied Sophia in the sense that she had an annoyed expression set on her face. Nix didn’t need to know what they were talking about. All she needed was a safe place for Sophia and Alden to be put in until they were healed and ready to travel back to Alexandria.

So they set off, with Maggie’s plan and Negan’s additions to it. Alden was limping, leaning into Nix. She figured it was a good thing that she’d gotten used to carrying deer on her shoulders.

 


 

 

They had taken a few breaks, mostly for Alden and Sophia’s sakes. Nix was worried for both of them. Alden was pretending that he was alright, but she knew him too well. She knew when he was hurt, and this was the worst. And Sophia, as stubborn as always, kept trying to walk on her own. But with her injury, moving hurt. Nix was worried over both of them. This whole mission had been such a bad idea from the start. Things just got worse and worse. Was Maggie willing for another two people to die? She’d already let Gage die, and Roy had been killed in the attack, alongside Cole. Who else was going to die for the cause?

And part of Nix knew that these few lives could be justifiably taken for the sake of everyone in Alexandria so that they could eat and live. So that the kids could grow and wouldn’t starve. Nix thought about Adam, and her heart contorted. She refused to let that kid lose another parent.

Alden seemed to be getting heavier and heavier with every step Nix took. She didn’t know how long they’d been walking. All she knew was to keep Alden up, keep him walking at a steady pace, and make sure he wasn’t going to collapse at any given moment. She was starting to get a switch in her side.

Their group came to a stop to wait out some walkers. They hid behind an old, broken down house, and Alden and Sophia sat down. Neither of them were looking good. Alden kept a hand on his wound, the other on his spear. Sophia was leaning against the brick wall, hands on her wound.

“It’s two miles. It’s further than I thought,” Maggie said to them as she folded up a map.

Nix clenched her jaw, looking away for a moment. Sophia’s annoyance seemed to be rubbing off on her. She saw Sophia brace herself before she got to her feet. Nix helped Alden up.

‘We can stop when you want,’ she signed to him. ‘Don’t put yourself into an early grave.’

Alden nodded, then rested his forehead against hers for a moment before they set off once more. Sophia seemed to be a little better; she was walking on her own now, though was favouring her right side, the uninjured side. Negan had quietly offered his help with Alden and was helping Nix carry him.

Alden and Negan spoke a little, before everyone jerked, coming to a stop. Nix looked at them, waiting for an answer. Then they started moving.

“Really? So we’re just gonna go towards the screaming?” Negan asked.

‘Screaming?’ Nix asked him. He nodded, at least letting her know what was going on. But the quicker pace had Alden grimacing in pain more and more, had Sophia gasping for breath, wincing with every step. But they kept on moving.

They made it to the building the screaming came from, and they could see a woman fighting with the dead. Nix squinted and realised it was Agatha, one of Maggie’s people. Maggie ran forwards, with Sophia and Negan going after her. Nix had Alden lean against the wall, and she looked around the corner, towards one of the entrances, and saw a few walkers coming.

‘Stay here.’ Nix told Alden firmly. He nodded, breathing deeply, and let Nix go and deal with them. Though she was aching all over, was still feeling the remnants of that sickly feeling she’d had down in the tunnels, she was back running on adrenaline. The walkers went down with two simple stabs from her knives, and she was quick to return to Alden. The others had sorted out the walkers near them and had vanished around another corner.

Taking Alden’s weight on again, Nix helped him around the corner. Duncan was slouching against the wall, and Nix knew he was too far gone. She could see the pools of blood around him, the numerous stab wounds. She was impressed that he’d even lasted so long with such severe wounds, but then she found herself glancing at Alden’s own wounds. Her stomach tied up in knots.

Duncan passed away. Nix watched as Maggie stopped him from turning. Sophia hobbled over to Nix, Alden and Negan. ‘We should’ve turned back,’

‘I know. But we don’t know how the Reapers work,’ Nix signed. ‘They could be following us now.’

‘That’d be a risk we’d have to take.’

‘What, back to Alexandria?’ Nix asked. Sophia turned away for a moment. ‘I get it. I want to go back too. That’s not in our cards though.’

Sophia nodded, then turned to look at Alden. “You look like shit, dude,” she said, and Nix felt the way Alden laughed. It must’ve hurt since he reached down to touch at the wounds. “Don’t hurt yourself more than you already are, Al,”

“Trying not to, Soph.”

Their group, with the addition of Agatha, continued on their trek towards the supply depot. Nix tried not to think about how Alden was having to lean against her more and more, how he was panting, warm breath close to Nix’s face. His arm was over his shoulder, and her hand held onto his wrist, her left arm around his middle. She was going to do whatever she could to make sure he stayed alive.

Alden was not going to leave her like Hazel did.

 


 

 

The walkers kept following them. Their group had doubled since they had last checked in on them. There was no way any of them could get rid of the walkers.

So Sophia came up with a plan. “Negan walked with the dead like Alpha did. We can … manipulate those walkers like Alpha did. Send them into the Reapers.”

Maggie looked between Sophia and Negan. “How so?”

“Mask,” Sophia said, hand coming down in front of her face, mimicking a mask. “Negan knows how to get a skin mask. So … you four,” she pointed to Maggie, Negan, Elijah and Agatha, “can lead the walkers to Meridian and take out the Reapers. While they’re busy taking out the dead, you lot can sneak in and kill them. I can’t do it. Alden certainly fucking can’t. And Nix is deaf.”

“So what if Nix is deaf?” Maggie asked, gesturing to Nix. “We need to get those supplies. To make sure the Reapers don’t come back to Alexandria and kill us all.”

Sophia took a deep breath, hand on her side. “I trust Nix with my goddamn life, but she has never led the walkers, has only hidden among them. She can’t hear, Maggie. If the Reapers shout commands or start shooting down on y’all, Nix will die. Would you be able to pull her away fast enough? Or would you save your own skin to get back to Hershel? She’s a mom now too, Maggie. If you’re not careful, you’re gonna tear families apart.”

Maggie paused, and Nix risked a glance to the others. Agatha … didn’t seem to care. She had just lost Duncan, and Nix could only assume that the two had been close, if not intimate. Negan knew; he knew that Alden and Nix had adopted Adam, had risked their new family for Maggie, and it was turning out bad. Maggie looked at them, eyeing the three young adults up.

“Fine. You three can stay on the sidelines while we do the work.”

“Al and me have been cut to shit, Maggie. We did the work. Now it’s time for you to take your turn in getting hurt for the sake of this stupid fucking mission. Fuck you, Maggie.”

“You’re free to go,” Maggie said coldly. “Negan’s a free man too. He can fuck off with you if he wants to.” Negan didn’t move, instead he watched and waited.

Nix stood up. Maggie looked at her, but all Nix did was take the map from her hands and survey it.

‘Here is where we’ll be if we’re not dead by dusk,’ Nix signed to her, pointing to a spot in the map. Negan leaned forwards to look at where she pointed to. He gave a nod. ‘I’m going to make sure my … boyfriend and my best friend live. Because of you. You endangered them. I’m going to fix your mistakes. I swear this, Maggie. If they die, I will make you suffer. We are not toy soldiers, nor are we your shields. If you want to find us, we’ll be there.’

“If you’ve moved on?” Negan asked when Nix finished.

‘I’ll leave a note.’

Negan smiled at her, and she shot a small one back at him. She looked to Sophia, who had relief all over her face. There was absolute dread in Alden’s face.

‘Let’s go.’

Alden looked at her for a moment before he nodded. He let the two women help him to his feet, and they set off back the way they had come, leaving Maggie, Negan, Agatha and Elijah behind.

Nix didn’t feel bad about it at all.

‘Do you still feel weird about calling Alden your boyfriend?’ Sophia asked after a few minutes. The others long since out of sight. Nix nodded sheepishly. ‘Ah, young love.’

Nix managed to flip her off. She felt the vibrations from Alden’s chest as he spoke to Sophia. Whatever he said, Sophia’s jaw dropped, before a soft look came over her face. Nix spotted the tears in Sophia’s eyes before she blinked them away. Nix held onto Alden’s wrist a little tighter.

The three continued walking, with Nix following signs to the destination she had in mind. It would be a huge detour around the Reaper territory, but it would be good. She knew what she was doing. Thoughts of when she had been all alone near the beginning crept into her mind. She thought about how she’d hidden away in that meat locker, that stupid cart she’d pulled along. That house she’d stayed in when she first met Luke.

Luke, who was still in Oceanside with Jules. He had to be happy. Nix knew that he had no idea that she was out on this mission. He was probably out on the sea, fishing. The people of Oceanside would send them fish, but there was never enough, not for the number of people in Alexandria. He didn’t know where Nix was. If she died, how long would it take before he found out?

They stopped several times. Nix didn’t care. She would stop as many times as Sophia and Alden needed before they got to their hiding spot.

After what felt like several hours passed, they finally got to the church.

‘You two stay out here,’ Nix signed. Alden was sat on the bench outside, and Sophia was leaning against the pillar. She eyed both of them up. ‘Seriously.’

Alden made a cross over his heart. Nix held her knives and opened the door.

Inside, there were three walkers. Eh. She could take on three walkers. The closest one was sitting on one of the pews, so she stabbed it before it had the chance to stand up. The next two stumbled towards her, and she was quick to kick one in the chest, then stab the other. Second one dead, Nix turned and stomped, hard on the skull of the third walker. It collapsed like paper mâché under her boot.

She looked around and saw Sophia and Alden in the open doorway.

‘Technically we stayed out here,’ Sophia signed hurriedly, pointing to their feet, which were on the outside. Nix tilted her head, an unimpressed look on her face. Sophia offered a smile before she helped Alden into the nearest pew. Nix dragged the walkers out of the church, then shut the doors.

‘Let me check your wounds.’

Alden nodded, then Sophia copied when she realised Nix wanted to check her wound too. Nix knelt down in front of Alden, pulling her backpack off to sit beside her. She glanced up at him. God, he looked worse for wear. There was a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, and he looked completely exhausted. His shirt was covered in blood, both dried and fresh. Out of the corner of her eye, Nix could see the worry and concern on Sophia’s face. Alden was Sophia’s best friend, and he was hurt – neither of them could do anything to help apart from the bare necessities. Neither of them were trained like Enid was. Nix opened up her bag, checking for any and all medical supplies that could be of use.

‘You need to rest. Lay down,’ Nix signed to Alden. ‘I’m going to … try and stop any infection, clean it … and bandage it. To the best of my abilities. I’m not Enid, but I know a few things.’

Not enough things, not the right things. Her heart felt like it kept skipping beats.

‘Let me keep watch,’ Sophia said, then forced herself to her feet. She went to the window and peered out of it, jaw clenched hard.

Alden looked at Nix. ‘Are you going to tell me why you’re sick?’ he asked, and she frowned at him. ‘In the tunnels. I’ve never seen you react to the smell of walkers like that. You kept gagging, dry heaving.’ Nix shrugged her shoulders, trying to brush it off. The thoughts of what it could be had been cemented into the back of her mind. What it could mean. But she couldn’t think about it – not yet. Not until they were back in Alexandria and safe and alive.

Nix cleaned her hands to the best of her abilities, not wanting to answer the question Alden posed to her.

Alden reached over to her. ‘Nix.’

‘I don’t know. It could be a cold or a stomach bug –’ Nix stopped, biting her lip. There was no convincing Alden, not when they both knew what the other was thinking. She looked down and finished cleaning her hands.

‘Are you pregnant?’

Nix stilled, partway through opening the sealed water bottle that had been in her bag. ‘I can’t remember when I had my last period. It’s been a while.’ she admitted. ‘Lay down. Please.’

Alden did as she asked, wincing and grimacing the entire time. Nix took a steady breath, trying to ignore the way her stomach was churning. She swallowed hard, getting rid of the bile in the back of her throat before she lifted up his shirt.

The blood had congealed, and it had stuck to his shirt. She’d had to be careful prying the shirt from the wounds. The wounds were still open, but the blood had kept them partially closed. She had some tape and a gauze pad. What she needed were antibiotics, painkillers, and a needle and thread. If he got a fever, then she needed to get all sorts of antibiotics and painkillers.

What she needed was Merle’s fucking stash. What else did he have, oxy? Doxycycline had definitely been one in his stash, had that been his oxy? Maybe there were some old drug dens in the city she could raid. That would be dealt with later. Once they were both safe, Nix would leave them in the church, and she would go and find something in the city. She was going to keep them alive.

Alden grimaced, biting into his lip to stop from making a sound. Nix got the wounds cleaned as well as she could, then methodically covered them with gauze pads, taping them down. She didn’t have any antibiotic cream, nor any petroleum jelly. She was going to have to find those in the city. She couldn’t even close the wounds, she had no steristrips or thread. She had done the best she could. There was no other way around it; Nix was going to have to hunt down supplies. How many walkers could a hospital hold? It didn't matter; desperate times.

Sophia came and sat down when Nix gestured. She went to work cleaning that wound with water. Although not as severe, it was still a bad injury. Nix had barely enough gauze to keep the wound protected.

‘No straining yourself. Both of you need stitches.’

‘Your arm. When the Reaper caught it.’ Sophia signed. Nix looked down at it, then sighed a little before she dripped some water on it. Then she tore some of the insides of her coat and wrapped it around her arm, tying it there. It’d leave a scar, but she already had a lot of those, so she didn’t care much. She didn’t have severe wounds like Sophia and Alden had.

Feeling completely and utterly exhausted, Nix sat back down and leaned against the pew behind her. Alden carefully pulled his shirt down as Nix rested her arms on her knees, head atop her arms. She couldn’t look away from either of them. It was hard not to think that Alden would die, leave her like Hazel had, like Connie. But Nix had to keep a calm head. Alden was too stubborn; he had Adam to return to. God, Nix wished she’d talked him into staying in Alexandria with Adam. Things could’ve been easier.

And Sophia, who was in pain too, looked significantly better than Alden. Covering the wound alone seemed to have Sophia confident she would get better. But Nix could see the worry in her eyes whenever she looked at Alden. Both of them were worried that he’d been hurt too severely.

How the hell did they end up there?

Alden turned his head towards Nix, and there was a faint smile on his face. ‘You’re staring,’ he signed, and his eyes were half-open, and he looked about as tired as Nix felt, if not more. Nix wondered if getting him to lay down had been a good idea. Though if he got some rest, it could help heal his wound. In the back of Nix’s mind, plans were already forming on how she and Sophia would take turns sleeping to keep an eye on Alden as well as their surroundings.

‘I know. It’s because you’re pretty.’ Nix signed, trying to tease him, but her stomach had yet to stop churning from nerves. Sophia looked between the two of them, then got to her feet carefully and resumed her post at the window.

“Pretty,” Alden said, hands signing along tiredly. Nix shuffled forwards so their faces weren’t so far apart. “Yeah, you’re pretty … completely gorgeous. I’m glad you’re in my life, Nix. I love you.” He held his hand up to her, holding the I, L Y signs up. It was a more informal way to sign it, but Nix knew what it meant.

Her heart did a funny flip, flopping down deep into her chest and leaving her lost at sea. She smiled at him fondly, holding the tears back. It felt too much like a goodbye. She was not going to let him pronounce his love to her just to die later. This just made her more determined to get him home, safe and sound. ‘I love you too. You can tell me just how much when we get home. To Adam.’

“What if -?”

Nix put a hand onto his face, and when he looked her in the eye, she shook her head. ‘You will get back. I … I’ll find a cart and take you back like that. I told you about that cart I lugged around when I was alone. Hell, I could find a wheelchair and take you back like that. I’ve been carrying you all day; I’ll do it again. I’m not going to give up on you. Enid will patch you up, good as new.’ Her eyebrows pulled together, nose scrunching up as she tried very hard not to cry. She could feel her breathing becoming uneven again. ‘Don’t leave me. You’re not allowed to.’ You can’t leave me like Hazel did.

Alden smiled, soft and tired as his fingers grazed her chin softly. “I won’t. I’ll stay here, right with you, always,” he said, and Nix held his hand in both of hers. “You … you didn’t answer my question earlier. Are you?”

Nix licked her lips a little as she took her hands back. ‘I don’t know. I could be. Or it could be from stress. Enid will check when we get back.’ There was a look on Alden’s face, and Nix had to try and stop her heart from breaking. ‘You know, that’s the first time you said that you love me.’ She signed, desperate for a different topic, but all of them were dire and sad. Would this be the first and only time she’d ever see Alden sign those words to her?

He nodded, then reached over to put a hand on her face. She held it there, not wanting to look away from his face. “I do. I love you,” he said, repeating the sign from earlier with his free hand. “With all my heart.”

Tears were stinging Nix’s eyes, and she wiped them away. More replaced them and tracked down her face. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and she could feel her breaths coming in all shaky and uneven. ‘Me and Sophia are going to take you back home. We’ll get Enid to stitch you up, and you’ll be as good as new. Adam needs you. You’re his father.’

‘He’ll need you too,’ he signed, trying to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “If you have to, you leave me here.” He looked to Sophia, who had edged closer while Nix hadn’t been looking. “Both of you.”

‘No. Together or not at all,’ Nix signed. She felt completely lost. Why was he so willing to give up, to let them move on? ‘We’re going home. All of us. You get some rest.’

Alden looked to Sophia, but took hold of Nix’s hand, letting her hold on tightly. He was holding on as tightly as he could muster. “Soph. Tell her.”

Sophia shook her head. “We’re both hurt. We stay here, rest up, and go home. Nix knows what she’s doing. I’m following her lead, you should too.” Nix watched the two friends look at each other, before Alden relented, nodding his head. Sophia turned to look at Nix, kneeling down carefully. ‘What’s your plan?’

‘We’re not far from the city,’ she began, and Alden made to protest, but fell silent at the glare Sophia sent his way. ‘I’ll find a hospital – or hospice,’ she added when she saw the alarm in Alden’s face. ‘And find everything I need.’

Nix sighed a little, and Sophia took out a marker pen from her backpack. Nix took it and pulled her left sleeve down, writing a list on her arm.

ANTIBIOTICS
DOXY/OXY ^
STRIPS
NDL & THRD
GAUZE
BANDAGES
P-JELLY
TAPE
MORPH?
NEEDLES

 

Nix looked at the list. It was OK. Maybe she could get a skin stapler or something if she found a hospital. She’d grab some gloves and whatever else she thought would be of use. Alden didn’t look happy but was resigned to it.

‘Stay safe in the city,’ Alden signed to her. She nodded, signing her promises to him. She emptied most of the contents of her bag, aside from her weapons and her canteen of water.

‘What about food?’ Sophia asked.

‘I know what wild plants are safe to eat,’ she signed, dismissing the concern. ‘Food will be good for both of you.’

Sophia nodded and accepted the food from Nix. She got back up, then leaned against the pew, head tilted up to the ceiling. Nix pulled her backpack on and looked at Alden. He had a sad expression on his face, and Nix knew he didn’t want her to do this.

‘I can’t stop you, can I?’

‘No. But you can sit tight and wait for me. Eat, drink. Do not strain yourself. Those wounds are still open and could get infected. I love you.’ It was remarkably easy to tell Alden she loved him. Maybe because she knew it was true. They had built something for themselves, and Nix was damn sure that they were going to keep it.

‘I love you too.’

Nix leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. She rested her forehead against his for a moment. She pulled away and kissed his forehead before she got to her feet.

‘Block the doors with one of the other pews. I’ll knock to let you know when I’m back.’

‘One of your piano melodies?’ Sophia asked, and Nix nodded. It reminded her of Luke. Oh, Luke, who was like a father to her, and was good friends with Alden. They had made their own melodies whilst they’d been in Hilltop, and Sophia had memorised one of them.

‘Maggie and the others should come here after the fight in Meridian. If I’m not back by the time they come for you, leave me a note. The Reapers could have followed our trail. Make sure you’re both safe in here.’

Sophia nodded; lips pressed together as she thought about it. ‘What if you get killed? What if you really are pregnant?’ Sophia asked, and Nix hated the idea of being pregnant. She couldn’t be. Not now.

‘If I am … then it’s just some clump of cells. If I get killed … help Alden take care of Adam for me?’

Sophia’s lower lip started to tremble, and Nix pulled her into a hug. She could feel Sophia shaking in her arms, and they knew what it meant. If Nix went out those doors, then there was a good chance she’d never return. But it was a risk she was willing to take; they were injured and needed more than what they had. So she was going to go on a run, and hope to god that the hospitals in the city still had stuff inside.

They finally pulled away from each other, and Nix wiped the tears from Sophia’s face. ‘I’ll see you in a few days.’

Sophia nodded, pressing her lips together as she tried to compose herself. Nix held her bow in her left hand, the right one resting atop the nocks on her arrows. ‘If you die, I’m not going to be happy.’

‘You thought I’d died once, and I surprised you, didn’t I?’

‘I never thought you died that night. I couldn’t.’

Nix smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. ‘So keep that stubborn faith. I’m coming back.’ She reached over and put her hand on Sophia’s face. They locked eyes for a moment, and Nix gave Sophia a nod. Sophia copied, looking a little more at ease.

Nix opened the church doors and left. Behind her, Sophia shut the doors and presumably blocked them. She could do this. Looking around her current surroundings, Nix made her way towards the city. At least it led her further from the Reaper’s territory, she guessed she’d have better luck surviving against whatever could be inside the city’s streets.

Chapter 28: A Quiet City

Chapter Text

The walk to the city was long and exhausting. There had to be hospitals nearby she could raid. The sun was bright overhead, and she hid in the shade as much as possible. Nix Dixon was on a mission, and nothing was going to stop her from succeeding.

She found a hotel. It wasn’t what she was looking for, but it would help. She ventured inside and looked at the standees. One of them had a map. Just the kind of thing she needed. She went and took one before opening it up. It was a little simpler than normal maps, but it showed where the hotel was. There were a few tourist sites on it, which she ignored, and found some hospitals nearby. It would have to do. It worse came to worse; she’d have to try and find some care homes. Those places had all sorts of drugs for the elderly. Not to mention bandages since the older people often healed slower.

Nix kept an even, quick pace once she left the hotel. The map was tucked into one of her back pockets, kept safe until she needed it again.

Her stomach kept churning uncomfortably, and she couldn’t help but glance back over her shoulder every so often. There had to be more Reapers, and she was terrified that she’d left her best friend and her boyfriend to die, fending for themselves. She had to make this trip quick and successful. What else could she do?

She kept running at quick intervals, checking the map every so often. She was getting closer to one of the hospitals. The closest one had been several miles away, and she was on foot. It was going to take her at least three hours, if not more just to get there. And she was working with a very small amount of time. The one she was planning on going to was the George Washington University Hospital if the map was anything to go by. She suspected that it probably wouldn’t be standing anymore, but it was the closest one, and there were several nearby it.

There weren’t that many walkers, but it wasn’t something to complain about. Things had been going reasonably well. Until Nix was attacked.

The Reaper came out of nowhere and knocked Nix to the ground. Taken by surprise, her bow had gone flying through the air. Now she was mad. She grabbed at her knife and made to slash at the Reaper, but he was strong, stronger than her. He grabbed at her hand and stopped the knife before it had the chance to go anywhere near his exposed neck.

Grunting and panting, Nix managed to slip a leg free. She forced her boot into his gut and pushed him back. She managed to get him away, but not far enough, not enough to knock him aside. Face contorted in anger, she grabbed the mask the Reaper wore and pulled it off. It was just another man. He grabbed her and slammed her back down into the ground. Her head hit the concrete hard, and the pain went shooting up her back. The wind was knocked out of her, and she coughed, gasping for breath.

The Reaper took his knife from his hip and leaned in close to Nix. His mouth was moving, and she knew he was making some snarky remark. Nix took the chance to grab at his neck with tight fingers. Her fingers had grasped something in his neck, and he started to choke, trying to take her hand off his neck. Nix pulled him down by his neck and headbutted him. He went to the side, disorientated. Nix grabbed her knife and rushed to the Reaper and stabbed him in the chest.

Fuelled by adrenaline, she barely comprehended what she did. Only after catching her breath, pushing her hair from her face, knife taken from the chest of the Reaper, did she realise. The tips of her fingers were covered in fresh blood. She’d managed to get them through the flesh of his neck. She looked at the Reaper and saw the massacre of his chest. She took in a steady breath, then stabbed the Reaper through the head, stopping him from turning.

Getting to her feet, Nix collected her bow and the arrows that had fallen from her quiver. She put them back and walked on without looking back at the Reaper.

Asshole, she thought to herself.

Nix kept walking. She ignored the pain in her body, how her head had started to pound painfully from where it had hit the ground. Blood was trickling down through her hair, staining the back of her neck. It didn’t matter. Her wounds would heal. She needed to get bandages, antibiotics – anything – for Alden and Sophia.

Her first problem was when she came to a broken bridge. She needed to cross it to get to the hospital. It was on the other side, as were all the other hospitals on the map. Nix cursed to herself as she looked down at the map once more. There were a few other bridges south of her, but this had been the closest one.

Swallowing her nerves, Nix stuffed the map back into her pocket and started the trek forwards on the bridge. It was full of abandoned cars. The metal was rusted, and the concrete beneath her feet was cracked. Weeds were growing in the cracks. Nix could swim, but not very well. She hoped that her terrible swimming skills wouldn’t be needed.

Ahead of her, she noticed a large chunk of the bridge missing. Shit. This sucked. She moved towards it and came to a stop a foot or so away from the edge. There was easily five-foot worth of missing concrete. Rebar was poking out. But she could jump over it – probably. She’d have to take a running jump, but she could make it.

Nix really hoped she could remember how to swim, now that there was a chance that she needed to.

Taking several steps backwards, ensuring her weapons were safe, Nix mentally prepared herself. Figuring she was far enough away, Nix ran the short distance to the edge, then leapt over to the other side. She rolled with the fall, and she realised her heart had leapt up into her throat. She looked back and realised that she had made it over the broken area of the bridge. Now she had to keep going. She was almost there.

Getting back up onto her feet, Nix set off once more.

Once off the bridge, Nix felt a little bit more relieved. She took the map out from her pocket to check it again. She was closer to the first one. George Washington University Hospital. If that was burnt to the ground then there was MedStar Georgetown University Hospital she could go to. That was roughly half an hour’s walk away, going northwest. There were other Georgetown hospitals north of MedStar, as well as some other hospitals east. Walking to them would mean at least forty minutes' worth of walking. She’d already been walking for a few hours now. She’d have to try and shorten those trips to the hospitals.

Nix looked over her shoulder once more. But there was no-one behind her. Maybe that was the last Reaper to follow them. They didn’t know how many Reapers there had been when they’d attacked. Nix had to hope that all the Reapers had retreated to Meridian, to try and protect what they’d stolen.

 


 

 

The George Washington University Hospital had been burned to the ground. Nix knew that one or many of the hospitals would’ve been burned down. She could remember that Atlanta had been bombed. Would they have done it for the rest of the major cities in America? If so, how badly bombed was Washington?

Still. It was one hospital. She had marked down several hospitals on her map. The second one was barely standing when she got to it about thirty minutes later. She’d found some walkers. They were few and far between and had mostly wasted away. The dead had been easy to take care of, which was a relief in and of itself.

The third hospital, a good forty minutes away, was mostly untouched. It was old, broken down, but still standing. She hoped this would be it. That she could get into the hospital and get everything she needed.

As she got closer, she saw the name of the hospital. Most of the letters had fallen, but from the map, she knew what it was called, Howard University Hospital. The doors were broken and wide open. Arrow nocked into her bow; Nix stepped into the building. There were vines and ivy crawling up the walls. Paint scuffed and peeling off. The entrance didn’t seem to bode well, with how unkept it was; there could be more damage inside that Nix couldn’t see. However, Nix couldn’t see any signs of someone else having been in the building recently, which gave her some kind of relief.

Nix had always hated hospitals. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because she’d been brought up rough and they had never been able to afford it. Hospitals were big white buildings where people went to die. Nix had had a rough time trying to get her injections as a kid. Somehow she’d gotten them, though the memories of it were fuzzy. The end of the world had certainly made hospitals absolutely creepy, in Nix’s opinion.

There was dried blood on the walls, pipes visible overhead, alongside all sorts of cables that Nix didn’t like thinking about. At least there was no electricity, so she wouldn’t get electrocuted from the exposed wires. She stepped through the long corridors and couldn’t shake the ominous feeling the hospital gave her.

She found a sign, printed on the wall. It was faded from the years of unuse and lack of maintenance. She could faintly see the words Anesthesiology, Emergency Medicine, OBGYN, and several other department names. She spotted Orthopaedic surgery, alongside Surgery. Those were the best bets for her to visit. There were other departments, but the names were peeled or scuffed, too hard to read.

Now she had to deal with the maze that was the hospital. She wished that hospitals came with their own maps, just so that she knew where the departments were. Nix pulled out her flashlight, attaching it to her backpack strap. The corridors of the hospital felt far too long and ominous. She felt like she was completely isolated from the rest of the world. There were broken windows that sunlight filtered through, a soft breeze every now and again.

Tiles had fallen from the ceiling and onto the linoleum floor. There was dust and debris everywhere. But Nix kept moving on, determined and slightly scared. This was a big building, and she had no idea how many walkers could be inside.

The signs were still present, on the walls, hanging from the ceiling. Most from the ceiling looked dangerously close to falling; some already had. Once or twice, Nix had to trace her steps, finding herself going down the wrong path. Hospitals were a maze of death and doom. But Nix had to keep going.

Almost twenty minutes later, Nix found herself outside of the Surgery department. She shone her light through the glass. There didn’t seem to be any walkers inside. How long would that last? Nix looked at the handles and tried them. They opened but were rusty. It took a little bit of force to open the doors. Nix paused a little, flashing her torch into the corridor. Nothing seemed to move, alerted by the light. She glanced back over her shoulder before she went into the department.

Nix moved through the corridors, following the signs as she made her way towards the operating theatres. She came to a stop when she found a supply cabinet and found it was locked when she tried opening it. Fuck. She looked around and found a reception. She tried the door – locked – and grunted with effort as she lifted herself onto the desk. She peered over the desk, flashing her light. A smile graced her face when she saw some paperclips. She grabbed them and slid off the desk. She looked around and saw the remains of a corpse hidden by some chairs. Nix grimaced and stepped closer. Its head was intact, so she was quick to stop it from waking.

Returning to the cabinet, Nix bent two of the paperclips and put them into the lock. She couldn’t hear it click, but she could feel the clicks, the lock slowly unlocking. One final click and she pulled the cabinet open. She held her flashlight in her mouth as she opened up her backpack and pulled the needles, the thread, bandages, and tape out and stuffed them into her bag. She even found some sanitising equipment, small enough for her to use. She could clean her hands with them.

She couldn’t help but keep glancing around, afraid that a walker would sneak up on her. She was better out in the forest, deep in the woods. Being in buildings like the hospital wasn’t quite natural to her. But she ignored that feeling. All she had to do was make sure she had more than enough supplies to bring them back to Alden and Sophia. They were waiting for her.

There were no antibiotics. That was one of the things she needed the most. Trying not to slam the cabinet shut in frustration, Nix took in a deep breath. It was OK. It was a hospital, there were bound to be cabinets and storage cupboards full of antibiotics.

She moved on and delved deeper into the hospital and found a box of unopened gloves. It felt like the corridors became even creepier as she ventured further and further. Surgery didn’t seem to have any antibiotics. So Nix gave up on it and returned to the information printed on the walls.

Nix paused a little. There had to be a pharmacy within the building. But how likely was it that it had already been raided? Would raiders think to get antibiotics? She wasn’t sure. But she had to check.

The ER and Orthopaedic Surgery were close to each other. If she was unlucky, she supposed venturing into Health and Family Medicine wouldn’t hurt.

The trip down to the ER and Orthopaedic Surgery went quicker than the one to Surgery. She passed rooms that had been locked or barred and knew that walkers were in those rooms. Once or twice, she paused, scanning the area for walkers or bandits. But there were none. Nix had to hope that her luck would hold out and that she would be able to get everything she needed. She came to a stop when she found herself in Recovery. There had to be morphine, or something along those lines in Recovery, right?

With a slight detour, Nix went into Recovery. There were several locked cabinets, and she picked the locks on all of them. She found Oxycodone, Vicodin and even Fentanyl. There were a few extra bandages and gauzes, which she put into her bag, as well as some unused injection needles. No antibiotics yet. She felt like screaming. Why were there no antibiotics?

Swallowing her frustration, Nix moved on. There were nurses' rooms, and she broke into those. There were skeletons there, nothing left to reanimate as a walker. She looked through the drawers, tempted to tear the storage apart. She froze when she saw a familiar bottle. Doxycycline. She grabbed the bottles, not caring if they were out of date. When they got back, Enid could figure it out, the right percentage that would be safe to use. There was Tetracycline and Ciprofloxacin in the other storage units. Nix bagged them all. She even found some petroleum jelly and shoved that into her bag too.

The hard part was done. Now all she had to do was try and find her way out of the hospital and get back to Alden and Sophia. She’d only been gone around four or five hours. If she found a bicycle or some kind of vehicle, then she’d get back even faster. Making sure her bag was closed – and it was full to the brim – Nix left Recovery.

Down the stairs, she found herself in the ER. After taking out a few walkers, Nix slipped out of the building. Holy shit. She’d almost done it.

Nix glanced down at her bow, the arrow still nocked in place, and she set off walking again.

However, as it happened, Nix’s return wouldn’t be as quiet as her journey to the hospital.

Nix had barely been walking for ten minutes before the ground seemed to burst in front of her, dust and debris flying into the air. Nix jerked and gasped. She stumbled a little before she rushed to try and take cover. Someone had just shot at her.

Several more bullets rained down on either side of her, and she twisted and slid, hiding behind a rusty van. Fuck, she didn’t have a gun on her. She looked down at her bow, cursing the fact it wasn’t a gun. Nix looked around and was relieved that she hadn’t spotted any snipers on the roofs of the buildings nearby. But that didn’t mean there weren’t any, waiting for a signal.

She edged towards the back of the van and risked a peek around the corner. She jerked back once more, and a bullet whizzed past, cracking the concrete two feet from her. Her breathing picked up a little. She was so fucked.

More bullets were shot at her. She could feel the sharp shots hitting the van, saw them exploding on the ground. It felt like it lasted for years until it slowed to a stop. What the hell was she supposed to do? There had to be people waiting or surrounding her. They had to know that she was trapped. If she ran, she would be exposed.

Before Nix had time to think of a plan, a way to get out of this situation, several people surrounded the van. One of the people jerked their gun at her, and she dropped her bow, putting her hands up. They were all older than her, some were white, others mixed, maybe Hispanic, African American. It didn’t matter. They had surrounded her, and she was most certainly dead.

One of them spoke to her. She stared at him for a moment before resigning to the fact she had to tell them she was deaf. So she pointed to her ears, then shook her head. Very slowly, Nix fingerspelled deaf, knowing that if pointing hadn’t made her point clear, using basic ASL would.

“Fucker, she’s deaf!” one of the men said, words clear enough for her to understand. He looked at her, crouching down in front of her. “Bitch is deaf,” he said, then continued to speak, but Nix didn’t understand what he was saying.

They talked to each other, muttering about her before they put their guns away. Two of them reached down and grabbed Nix by her arms, pulling her up to her feet. A third grinned at her before he pulled out a sack. Nix could only watch his evil grinning face before he pulled it over her head.

 


 

 

The bandits seemed to enjoy the fact that Nix couldn’t hear. It meant that there were fewer words to speak, and more blows to give out. Bruises were starting to blossom over her face, cuts deepening as they took turns between fists and knives.

There didn’t seem to be anything from Nix that they wanted. They had laughed in her face when they had looked through her bag, finding all the bandages and pill bottles there. They’d stuffed it all back in and had taken her bag away.

Nix had heard of this place, where the bandits had taken refuge. It used to be President Lincoln’s cottage. She’d been allowed to see the inside of the cottage, how they led her through what used to be a museum, to the room that they had turned into their own torture chamber. She knew it was because they thought she was never going to get out of there alive. They didn’t know her. They only knew her appearance. Some young woman who couldn’t hear, with nothing more than pills and bandages in her bag.

With one final blow to the face, the person in front of her slouched. He was breathing heavily. His knuckles had burst, and he had to sit down to catch his breath. He looked up at her and laughed before he stood upright and smiled. He wiped at his face and turned and left.

When they had arrived in the torture chamber, Nix had been tied to some exposed pipes in the ceiling. Her shoes had been taken and her feet barely touched the ground, and her arms were up above her head. They’d even taken her damn socks. Her fingers touched the exposed pipe, and she tried to look up. Her entire body was hurting. They had tied her hands up with rope, but the pipe was too smooth of a surface to break the rope on. It was too tight anyway; she could barely move her hands.

The small break gave her a chance to catch her breath. The side of her face was hurting; she’d been hit on the left side more often than the right, where the Reaper had managed to cut her in the ambush with the others. She could feel the bruises blooming, from her cheek to her forehead. Her ribs were hurting, as was her stomach. They’d punched her hard in the gut, even harder in the ribs. Her legs were hurting, from where they’d started to cut at them. Most of the scars, once healed, would fade. But others there wouldn’t. That was if she’d even make it out.

The beatings had been hard, and she was exhausted. All she could feel was pain, the aching sting from where the knives had cut into her skin.

Nix looked up when the door opened. Her stomach plummeted. A man came in with a branding iron. Nix could only watch as he lit the fire in the hearth. She swallowed hard, watching the man. It was like he didn’t know she was there. He brought the fire to life, stoked it until it was blazing along merrily. Then he put the branding iron into the fire. Nix’s mouth ran dry. She had a bad feeling about it. The man didn’t acknowledge her at all; instead he put his hands close to the fire, warming them.

What the fuck?

It was making her uneasy. This had to be some kind of manipulative move. What the hell was she supposed to do? It wasn’t like she could break free.

The minutes seemed to drag on, and Nix hated it. She hated feeling powerless, and this man was gloating his own power over her. He kept checking the branding iron, seeing if the metal was hot enough. Nix tried to mentally prepare herself for what was going to happen. She knew what the iron was for, knew what was to come. It was just hard to accept the fact. They were going to torture her and then kill her. She was never going to get back to Alden and Sophia.

They’d never know how she died.

The man moved, and it caught her attention. He had his lips together like he was whistling. He put some gloves on as he took hold of the branding iron. Nix’s breathing picked up and she started to sweat as anxiety dripped through her. She tried moving her wrists, a desperate means to try and get free.

“Hold still, sweetie,” the man said tauntingly. He grinned at her, and she saw some teeth were missing, and the rest were blackening. He moved around her, and she shut her eyes tightly. She felt him lift up her shirt. She didn’t have time to tense up before the scolding hot iron was pressed into her back.

With no gag in her mouth, there was nothing to muffle the scream that tore itself from her throat. She screamed and screamed, then gasped for breath, choking once the iron left her skin. There were tears streaking down her face, and she was gasping for air. She had to blink several times, feeling dizzy.

The man was back in front of her, waving the iron at her with a smug smile on his face. “I’ll come by later.”

He put the iron back into the fire, then shut the door behind him as he went.

It took several long minutes before Nix had caught her breath, steadying it as she tried to get over the pain in her body. Every other wound on her body dulled in comparison to the burn mark she had just received. She almost couldn’t feel them anymore, not compared to the burning pain in her back. How the hell was she going to get out of this?

She was left alone, suffering in pain, for maybe thirty minutes. She didn’t like keeping track of the time, it scared her. It had to be a mind game, making her scared of when the door would open, and another beating would take place, another branding on her skin. If she was lucky, she would bide her time. Her fingernails would become bloody and broken from trying to scratch at the ropes, but she’d get out. One way or another. Nothing could kill a Dixon but a Dixon.

Five minutes later, the door opened once more.

It was a different man. He had a nervous look about him like he knew he wasn’t supposed to be in the room with Nix. He shut the door gently like he was trying to make sure it wouldn’t alert anyone else. He looked to Nix, and there was something inherently evil about his face. She watched him; eyebrows pulled together a little as she watched his skittish behaviour.

She tried to find her footing, but it was hard, and her toes were barely able to touch the floor. She could feel the way her breathing was picking up as the man stepped closer to her. He had to be several years older than her father. It creeped her out. She pressed her lips together tightly, trying to move out of his reach. He smiled at her, mouth starting to move. His breath was disgusting, and it made her feel sick. Above her head, she tried very hard to break the ropes holding her hands up, but it was firm and tough.

“I’m not supposed to be here,” he said, and she felt like her heart had stopped beating. She knew what he was going to do. He continued to talk, but Nix couldn’t read his lips and didn’t want to. She knew what was going to happen, she had to prepare herself for it, or to break free.

Nix looked up to the ceiling, refusing to cry when the man’s hands started to move over her body. She hated how he was touching her, but there was nothing for her to do; she couldn’t escape. She winced, jerking to the side when his hand reached the fresh wound from the branding iron. The man paused and looked up at her. Even though she was tied up and hanging from the ceiling, she was still taller than him. He said something, mouth moving far too quickly like he was getting ready to rush what he was going to do.

Nix gripped the ropes binding her hands tighter when he grabbed the front of her jeans. Panic set in, and Nix acted without thinking. Her knee came up and hit the man hard in the ribs. When he doubled over, she kicked him hard in the face. He collapsed to his knees, and she caught him, then set him in front of her, body going still. She was breathing hard and felt frantic.

Asshole, she thought to herself. She looked down at him and gasped a little when she saw the knife strapped to his hip. She glanced to the door, waiting, but no-one came rushing in. It seemed they were going to leave her be for now.

Looking back to the man, she forced herself to calm down. She nudged the man over with her feet, then pulled the knife out from its sheath. She caught it between her feet, then looked up to her tied hands. This was going to suck. She grimaced in pain as she swung herself back before she lifted her legs up, feeling her core muscles aching. She should’ve spent more time exercising when she had the chance. Nix cursed herself, then lowered her body, shifting the knife between her toes before lifting her body up once more. She managed to get her left leg up and over the pipe. Her right leg followed.

It took several long minutes of awkward shuffling before her fingers managed to touch the hilt of the knife. Once it was in her hands, Nix lowered her legs once more and put the edge of the knife to the rope. Several agonizingly slow minutes passed as the knife cut through the rope. The man beneath her was completely still, aside from his breathing. The door remained shut.

The knife cut through the rope at long last, and Nix dropped to the floor silently. One hand on the floor, the other holding the knife. When the door wasn’t burst open and Nix wasn’t shot to death, her face turned, contorted by fury and pain. These motherfuckers were not going to live to see another day.

She looked down at the man who had tried to rape her. She was quick to stab him in the head. She looked him over and found another knife. It was one of her own. Taking the sheath back and tucking it into her belt, Nix mentally prepared herself for what she was going to do. Despite the pain coursing through her body, there was determination and anger that was even stronger.

Nix looked to the branding iron, then decided to take it with her. Even if the metal cooled down, it would be a useful melee weapon. She made it to the door, then paused for a second. Nothing kills a Dixon but a Dixon.

Nix opened the door.

Chapter 29: Warpath

Chapter Text

It was quiet, as it always was for Nix. This was one of the rare times when she hated that she was deaf. Oh, how she desperately needed to hear, with what she was going to do. Taking a cautious step, Nix made her way across the hallway to an open door. The room was small, but that didn’t matter. She ventured in and saw her stuff. Glancing over her shoulder, Nix went to her shoes and bag. She figured she’d never see those socks ever again – not with how weird these bandits had to be. Shoes back on, Nix pulled her bag onto her back. Her bow wasn’t there, and neither were her arrows. One of the bandits had to have it.

But there was a gun – a big one at that.

She crept towards it and took it. It was a Colt Law Enforcement Carbine. Merle had stolen enough of them way back when for Nix to recognise it. She glanced around and found some clips. She was quick to stuff them into her bag and pockets. Nix looked to the door, but no-one passed it. There had been several people, mostly men. Six or seven at most when they had taken her. But she had to take in the fact that there could be more of them that she hadn’t seen. She had killed that one man. The leader had been the one who had beaten on her. What had to be the second in command had been the one to burn her. She didn’t know how many there were, and she knew there had to be more than she thought. She looked down at the branding iron, which had cooled down. She put it in her bag and could see her melted skin atop the iron.

It was time for them to know not to fuck with Nix Dixon.

Stepping back out into the hallway, Nix looked left and right. They had brought her up on the left, and on the right, there were two doors leading to more rooms. Casting a glance to her left, Nix raised the assault rifle and stepped towards the doors on the right.

She moved to the one on the left and tried to door handle. It opened up, and she peered in. There was someone on the couch, making a jerking movement with his arm. Nix’s nose upturned, knowing what he was doing, and she switched to her knife. Nix crept forwards, and before the man knew it, Nix had pulled his head back and slit his throat. She covered his nose and mouth with her other hand, feeling the vibrations of words against the palm of her hand. She pulled him along and hid behind the couch. The man laid on it, bleeding out, pants undone and looking like a damn mess.

Nix stared at the man, eyebrow raised, and she saw the terror in his eyes before they went blank, and he went still. She slid the knife in through his ear to stop reanimation. Two down. How many more would there be? Five or fifteen? If there were thirty, that was a fight she may not win.

Knife sheathed; Nix raised the assault rifle once more. She paused in the doorjamb and then peered down the hallway. No-one. She stepped across the hallway and opened up the other door. She looked through the crack in the door she’d made, and grimaced when she saw a woman on top of a man. They were enjoying themselves too much to notice Nix. But there would be no way to take them both out without alerting everyone else.

Fuck it.

Rifle raised; Nix shot at them both. The woman jerked forwards, falling on top of the man as he tried to duck for cover. The woman’s head seemed to explode, brain matter splattering the man. He tried to grab another gun, scrambling out of the bed, but Nix had moved into the room, the door shut behind her. She shot at his hand, watching as fingers shot out, spreading across the room. He had to have screamed, and that was going to alert the other bandits. Nix didn’t have it in her to give a shit.

She strode across the room and shot him in the chest before he could grab the gun with his remaining hand. Nix was quick to grab the gun, then ducked and slid under the bed just before the bedroom door slammed open. Underneath the bed, it was a tight squeeze. There were boxes on her left, blocking any potential escape through the other side. Nix could only watch as two pairs of feet appeared on her side of the bed. The dead naked man was bleeding out, blood coming underneath the bed, staining Nix’s clothes and the floorboards. It took her a second to realise that she’d stopped breathing, waiting out the two people who had come into the room.

The dead man’s head jerked, and skull, blood and brain matter spattered everywhere. At least one of them had stopped him from turning. Nix waited, presuming that the two people were talking. She had her hands on her gun, ready to attack if need be.

Then someone came running down the corridor, and Nix knew that they’d found out she’d vanished. She wondered if they’d spotted the dead man in the room across the hall. The two people in front of her vanished, and she waited until she heard the bedroom door slam before she let herself breathe again.

Carefully, she got out from under the bed. She kept herself close to the floor and risked a glance around the bed. No-one. She got up, wincing at the pain in her body before she stepped around and went to the door. At least they hadn’t thought to check under the bed; they must’ve thought there wasn’t enough room with all the boxes underneath it.

Beyond the door, Nix could feel the pounding of several pairs of feet running up and down the corridor. They had to be shouting commands to each other, preparing to find her and kill her. Nix moved towards the window and risked a look. There were four people outside, guns raised as they tried to search for her. She’d killed four already. God, how many were there? That made eight, easy. She’d underestimated how many bandits there were. Maybe they were a small army. Fuck.

Nix refused to stay hiding in the room, waiting for them to find her. If needed, she would go out guns blazing. Assault rifle in hand, Nix took hold of the door handle once more. She opened it, hoping that it wasn’t creaking. She waited briefly, expecting bullets to whizz past. The door across from her was still shut, so she had to assume they didn’t know that the man inside had died.

The hallway was clear, so she made her way down. She passed the room she’d been kept in, and ignored the weird churning in her stomach, the pains she was feeling. She made it to the landing, just before the stairs, and could see shadows below, running and moving quickly. It was hard to count how many. Figuring that the four outside were still searching, she counted roughly five shadows on the floor below her. Then one of those figures started to run up the stairs. Nix moved to the side and hid behind a bookcase. There were two fake plants beside it, and she hoped that was a good enough hiding spot.

Nix recognised the man who had burned her with the iron. Was he going to try and get the iron back? It was still in her bag. The man had barely been gone ten seconds before he came sprinting back. Nix could see him shouting as he rushed around the bannisters and took the steps two at a time. Was he annoyed his branding iron was no longer there? Oh, what a pity.

Nix looked to the other side of the hallway. It had a window there, broken panes and covered with some cloth. Steeling herself, she rushed across in a half-crouch. She took the cloth down and opened up the window. She looked down and felt relief when she saw an extension roof. She was quick to crawl out of the window, feet steadying there. Nix did her best to put the cloth back up, and then she laid down on her front on the extended roof. The people who had been outside looking for her were over a hundred metres away from her. If she was careful, they probably wouldn’t spot her trying to get down.

Shuffling along the roof awkwardly, Nix got to the back of the house. She waited with bated breath before she knew she had to risk it. Doing her best not to slip and fall, Nix climbed down one of the pillars. She dropped to the ground, and crouched, looking at the back door. She moved backwards, then hid in the trees.

The gardens were all overgrown, so Nix slid down onto her stomach and crawled through the overgrown grass. She passed what seemed to be a decrepit statue of Lincoln and a horse. Weird. Still, she kept going, and followed the road from several feet away, watching as it started to slope downwards. She came to a large tree and hid at the base of it. She looked around, getting an overlay of her surroundings. There was an old, large white building to the side of the cottage that she’d snuck out of. It was in ruins, bricks having fallen. Other close buildings had been burned to the ground. It seemed the cottage had survived the longest. She looked away from the buildings and saw some broken gates, where she had been brought in through.

Then she saw those four returning. She slouched down, hiding amongst the overgrown grass. She watched them, assault rifle raising – then she spotted it. One of those fuckers had her bow. So she shot.

It caught the one with her bow in the shoulder, knocking him down. The three with him looked around, guns raised, trying to find her. She managed to shoot one of the remaining three before someone from the house shot at her. She ducked and hid around the tree once more. There was no way in hell she was leaving her bow there.

Crawling on the ground once more, Nix moved through the grass and weeds with relative ease. There was wind, managing to mask her movements. When she got herself to another spot, she looked through the scope of her rifle and looked to the house.

In one of the windows, there was a sniper. They had a rifle, not unlike Nix’s. She watched them try and scope out the area, as she set her sights on them. It took one shot, and the sniper fell backwards, the bullet going through their head. She put her hands on her head when bullets shot at the tree she was close to. Bark splintered and rained down on her, and she moved backwards, trying to get out of the danger.

Then she saw something running at her through the thick grass. Nix barely had the chance to raise her gun before a dog, an Anatolian Shepherd, came rushing at her. The dog knocked her onto her back, and she had to grab at it to try and stop it from mauling her. It was a strong beast, and panic was setting in. Nix grabbed the handgun she’d stolen from the bedroom and shot at the dog in the gut. The dog stilled, and blood spilled down onto her chest, onto her neck. It was warm and slick, and she hated it.

Nix pushed the corpse of the dog aside, panting. Oh, fuck. How many fucking dogs did these people have? Grabbing the rifle, Nix did her best to crawl away from the corpse of the dog. If there were any more dogs, she was going to leave a very obvious trail for them. All the owners would have to do was let them free and then pick at Nix’s remains once the dogs were done.

She made it to a sturdy tree and climbed up it. Sitting there, Nix was quick to put a new clip into the rifle. She quickly found the last two who had scouted the area. She saw another dog, a Leonberger, and she grimaced before she took aim and shot the dog. The dog collapsed, blood pooling from its ribs. As one of the scouts turned to the dog, the other one tried to spot her. She shot that one, then the one crying over the dog. She turned her sights up to the house and saw a dog being released. She shot at it, missing once before she caught its shoulder, and it went tumbling to the ground. Back onto the door. There were three more bandits. They were quick to shut the door, and Nix climbed down from the tree. Hiding in the thick grass, she made her way to the corpses. She took their guns, changing them for her worse ones. Then she made her way over to the first scout she’d taken out.

Unfortunately, the body was in clear view, on the path. She looked to the house and tried to spot anyone through the grass – hiding by windows if any barrel of a gun was visible. But she couldn’t see any. She looked to the side and saw a relatively large rock. She grabbed it and then threw it.

Bullets targeted where the rock had landed. Fuck.

Nix looked through the scope of her rifle once more. She couldn’t see anyone in the windows. She looked around her surroundings. Could they be hiding behind trees like she had? Probably, if they were smart. Nix couldn’t stay out in the open like she was, with one wrong gust of wind, she’d be exposed.

So she ran. She grabbed the quiver and the bow some few feet away. Bullets hit the concrete ground as she ran, and several were shot in front of her. She zigzagged, then rolled, vanishing into thick grass once more. Nix felt more confident now; she had her bow with her, and her quiver chock full of arrows. Nix was quick to slip her quiver back on and made the slow trip of crawling further and further away from the buildings.

They were going to follow her, no matter where she went. So she wanted to get away from the cottage, to make sure it was on her terms. They were not going to keep her penned in; she was going to escape the gates around the cottage and kill them in the depths of the city.

The black metal fencing was broken and decrepit. There were some statues that had lost their heads or limbs. Nix thought it looked quite creepy. But she was almost there. The gates were open. She was a long way from the cottage. There was nothing to lose. Nix jumped over the short metal fence and sprinted away through the gates. She ran onto the road and went left.

Her entire body was hurting, cuts and bruises and burns hurting like hell. But Nix kept going. She ran down the main road, dodging abandoned cars, and the occasional decayed corpse or sicko. Another road appeared on her right, and she turned down it. She had no idea where she was going, but it was going to have to do. It took her down a residential area. There were houses upon houses lined along the sides of the road.

The sun was setting. Nix needed to find somewhere to hide. She ignored the first left but went down the second. She faintly saw a street sign, Marlboro, and she thought of her father and his cigarettes. She slowed down when she saw a T-junction. She looked around, then decided on right. She didn’t get far before she came to a crossroads. She took the left and ran down the road, which widened up. This was as good a place as any and taking random turns could help get them off her tail. She took to one of the houses on the left, which looked so similar to the ones back in Alexandria. Running onto the pavement and past a stop sign, Nix took the steps several at a time and opened the door. It was rusted and old, and there were several pieces of furniture against the door. She climbed over it all and shut the door behind her. The curtains were shut on the large windows, and she risked turning her flashlight on. There was a skinny walker, and she was quick to stab it in the head.

Clearing the ground floor, Nix went up the stairs. They’d rotted away in certain parts, and she had to be careful as she made her way upstairs. There had been two more walkers, and she was quick to take care of them. Then she looked through the bathroom cabinets, searching for anything hidden away. She found a few bottles of alcohol – she could find some rags and make some Molotov Cocktails. Nix paused only for a moment when she found some bleach. Thank God Magna had told her how to make some bombs when she’d been younger. Nix found a bandanna and put it over her nose and mouth as she went to work, making quick chemical bombs, mixing some bleach into some of the Molotovs she’d made. The bedsheets had been used as the cloth wicks. Down in the kitchen, Nix had found some detergent, baking soda and dish soap. She’d been quick to add them to some of the cocktails. If they didn’t burn like she wanted, then at least the smoke they’d give off would be choking.

Nix watched and waited, hidden away in the house.

 


 

 

They came out as a group, which was stupid. It also made things relatively easier on Nix. She took aim with her gun, took a steady breath, and then fired. Considering how long the apocalypse had been going on, she thought that the bandits would know better. The one she hit dropped like a stone, hands going to the wound in his chest. His five friends scattered, and Nix watched them all go. One went to the house opposite the one she was in, and it was almost too easy to pick that one off.

She turned her sights onto the first one she’d shot. He’d gone still, presumably dead. Nix left him to turn. One of them seemed to realise where she was and came running towards the house. Cursing to herself, Nix lit one of the cloth wicks of a Molotov and threw it out the window. It seemed to explode on impact, bursting into flames. The woman staggered backwards as the flames covered her body. Someone shot her in the head with an arrow – a mercy kill.

But Nix had just revealed to the rest of them where she was. There had to be two remaining. Things felt like they had stopped. Like each of them were waiting for the other to move. Nix glanced around the room she was in, tense. How likely was it that there were a few more bandits, making their way through the forest of a back garden, trying to sneak up on her?

A bullet cracked the glass panel above her head, and she jerked, hiding behind the wall. Then she ducked, crouching. Another bullet cracked through the window. Well, at least they were trying to fight back. Grabbing her bag of cocktails, her backpack and assortment of weapons on her back, she left the bedroom. Nix barely made it onto the landing before there was a spray of bullets. She gasped and stumbled back into the bedroom.

Fumbling with the rifle, she put it back and went for one of the handguns she’d stolen from their corpses. Safety off, clip full, Nix got ready for a shootout.

She moved around the corner and shot down the stairs. Three people were there – one woman, two men. She managed to get one of the men, then ducked back into the room for cover. She pushed her hair from her face, then moved over and shot again. They had hidden away just in time, and she cursed and retreated, and saw the bullets whip past.

Nix returned fire and hit the woman. She fell back with the shot, and before her companions could shoot, Nix shot her in the face. The woman’s body slid to the floor, and Nix dodged the bullets that came her way. Down below, she felt the doors slamming open.

Nix went to the window and saw the last of the bandits go into the house by the front door. She made quick work climbing out of the window and dropped into the grass below. She held her gun up as she neared the steps of the front door. They’d managed to kick it open, the furniture thrown aside. Nix saw one of the last bandits, just about to turn a corner, and she shot at him. He stumbled into the counter, and she shot him again, and her gun locked open. That was the last of her clip. She ducked from view and then ran down the road when the bandits inside were distracted. She didn’t get far before she met another T-junction. She went left again and jumped up onto the brick fence and went into the bushes there. They were overgrown, as was with the grass, and she stayed there to catch her breath. Her body was hurting, and she was becoming more aware of her pain, the way her clothes were sticking to her skin from the blood on her body.

Nix could only watch as the last four bandits ran down the road, pausing at the T-junction. They went right after a moment’s hesitation. They didn’t even know. Wincing in pain, breaths shaky, Nix sat up and crawled out from the bushes. She got to her feet and followed them, pains shooting up her body with every other step.

She followed them. It was easier to think of them as her prey, and she was on a hunt. In a way, she was. But instead of bringing home food, she wanted revenge. She knew she could just walk away, and return to Alden and Sophia, but how likely was it that the bandits wouldn’t follow her? How likely was it that they wouldn’t attack someone else? No. She was not leaving that to chance.

So Nix followed them. It was easy; she’d followed animals all her life, hunting and tracking. It was one of the things she was good at.

The bandits continued down the same road. They didn’t deviate from it, not even when other roads and avenues branched out. Several times, Nix had had to duck behind rusted cars when the bandits had looked around. They even had one final dog, but Nix was downwind, and it couldn’t smell her. She was careful to keep her distance so that it wouldn’t notice her. They were steadily passing an old golf course that was on their left; it was long and winding and felt like it was going on forever.

Nix got tired of it. Were they aware that she was following them, or were they stringing her along? Checking her rifle had a full clip, Nix got up and took aim. She took out that stupid dog first. She ducked out of sight when the bandits looked around, rushing to their dog. Nix aimed again and caught one of the four on their arm. She didn’t waste a second, shooting again, catching another one in the hip. The bandits abandoned the dog and rushed for cover. Nix caught another one in the leg. The man stumbled, and Nix managed to catch him in the neck. One of his friends put him out of his misery.

She’d definitely pissed them off with that move. She moved along the pavement and saw the foot of one of the bandits jerk behind a family carrier. In a crouch, Nix moved along and managed to get fairly close to them. She saw two. Fuck. Gun held up, she shot through the first one. The bullets tore the first person apart, and the second barely had a chance before the bullets tore through them too.

That meant there was one person left – the one she’d shot earlier, the one with the wounded arm. Her assault rifle was empty, and he hadn’t been carrying a gun. She watched, hidden by the bonnet, as the man got out from his hiding spot. He started talking, and Nix realised it was the leader. She’d saved the best one ‘til last.

Arrow nocked in her bow; Nix stepped out from her hiding spot too. The leader of the bandits held a sickle in his dominant hand, one not unlike Elijah’s weapons. The two looked at each other, starting to circle each other. Neither of them were ready to start the fight. Nix’s entire body wanted her to rest, and the man’s body had to be feeling the same thing.

“Let’s end this, shall we?” he asked. Nix scoffed, then drew back her bowstring as the man ran at her. The arrow caught his shoulder, but it didn’t seem to bother the man. He collided with Nix, and the two fell to the floor. Nix’s head cracked against the concrete, and she groaned. The man tried to get her with his sickle, and she kicked him hard in the chest.

The man stumbled backwards, brandishing his sickle. Nix scrambled to her feet, grabbing her knives from her hips. She watched the man and his movements. Desperation was in his face, and she knew he was going to go crazy. He stalked towards her again, but she was more than ready this time.

She caught the sickle with her knives, and the man jerked them downwards. Nix screamed when it caught her leg, and then she slashed at his face. He flinched back and she struck again. She kicked him hard in the gut and he fell to the floor. Before the man had a chance to move, she climbed on top of him and stabbed him. Nix lost herself, stabbing and stabbing. She grunted with effort, gasping for breath as she killed the man.

Blood went everywhere. It pooled around the man on the street, soaked into Nix’s hair, clothes and skin. After a moment, she pulled back, breathing heavily. She looked around, a hand going through her hair, wet and sticky with blood. She looked down at the man and grunted as she stabbed him in the head to stop him from turning.

Clambering to her feet, Nix groaned and looked around. She collected her bow and stabbed the other corpses around her to stop them from turning. She took their weapons and searched their bags. Nothing useful, not even any food. Her luck held out when she found a canteen of water. She leaned against the family carrier and looked down at her thigh, where the sickle had cut her. It was a pretty deep wound, from the looks of it. She had to tend to it quickly.

Looking in her bag, Nix grabbed the canteen and wet her hands, trying to get rid of the blood and grime on them. She took out some gloves and pulled them on before getting a needle. She pulled some thread through it and looked down at her thigh. It was going to hurt.

She cleaned the area and tore open the leg of her pants to get a better view of the wound. Nix cast a look around her surroundings. It was awful quiet in Washington, but at least that meant there was no immediate threat of walkers. So Nix went to work. Clenching her jaw, trying not to make a sound, Nix stitched up her leg. The stitches were uneven, and it would heal something ugly. But it would have to do. The final suture was put in, and she groaned. She threw the needle away, blinking back tears. She grabbed some bandages and gauze and wrapped her wound, then used some tape to secure it. Nix did her best to make sure she didn’t use a lot of her supplies; they were for Sophia and Alden, not for her.

Taking a moment to look at the carnage, Nix thought that she’d done well for herself, being able to take them all on.

Now she had to go back.

She didn’t really know where she was. The bandits had taken her map and had mocked her for using it whilst they’d brought her to their camp. She got off the family car and sighed before she set off walking once more.

 


 

 

Nix had gone down a road, Quebec something, and found an old CVS. It was broken and useless, and Nix didn’t bother to go in. She wanted to get back. Her leg was burning something furious, as was her back, from the branding iron. Nix did her best to ignore it. Everything hurt, but she wouldn’t give in to the pain – not until she was back home, and everyone was safe and well.

Half an hour of walking later, Nix found a bicycle garage. After unlocking the padlocks, Nix found herself a bike. So she rode down the roads, weaving between abandoned cars and buses. She made a right when she saw some abandoned building work, speeding down Quincy Street, according to a busted sign. She paused when she got to 14th St NW and went south. She needed to find a bridge, and south was the only way to go. She went down the street for a while, going past Columbia Heights and Cardozo. She slowed down to a steady pace when she passed Logan Circle. She turned right, and it went at an angle.

Riding the bike was alright, but her body was still hurting. She went down Rhode Island Avenue and paused when it came to a large intersection. It was almost like a roundabout. She biked straight across it, continuing on Rhode Island Avenue, passing a building that may have been a modern mall if things had been different.

Nix passed Downtown entirely and continued on straight on some road with M in it. She continued on, slowly picking up speed as she went through West End without break. She got off the bike and slowly walked across a small bridge over Rock Creek Valley. Once on the other side of it, she climbed back on the bike and continued.

She could smell water after several long minutes. She’d been following M Street and came to a sudden stop. A ruined old canopy had Georgetown printed on it, missing some letters. Shit, she was finally back in Georgetown. She was close to the bridge she’d come over on. Then she spotted the name of the bridge. She pedalled over there quickly, heart racing and beating hard.

The bike had to be abandoned when Nix got to the broken area of the bridge. She had to take a bigger running jump, and even then she stumbled and had to lay there for a minute as pain took over her body. Getting to her feet, Nix swayed a little. Everything was hurting. Still, she wasn’t done yet.

She resumed her walk across the bridge. She made quick work of it and tried to jog to make the trip shorter. It was getting darker, the sun already set, and the only light to guide her came from the stars. By the time darkness had consumed the world, and she had to rely on her flashlight, Nix had made it past the hotel where she’d found the map, past the Reaper body. Too exhausted to care, Nix didn’t stop. On and on she walked.

The church, after long last, came into view. Someone was outside it, and Nix didn’t recognise them. Fear filled her, and she grabbed the last handgun she’d taken from the bandits. It was the only one with a full clip, and bullets to spare. Nix rushed forwards as the person went inside the church. She was limping and struggling, gasping for breath as she tried to get to the church.

When she got there, she saw Sophia on the ground. She was curled up in on herself, gasping for breath, face nothing but pain. Nix went further in, gasping in pain, and saw Alden fighting with the Reaper. The two were struggling, and Nix raised her gun as a knife reflected moonlight – oh, shit, it was at Alden’s neck –

Nix shot the Reaper. He staggered, the knife falling from his hand. The Reaper fell, and Nix shot again. She shot several more times, and then Sophia was leaning against her, pushing the gun down to face the ground.

“Nix,” Sophia gasped, shoulders heaving. “What the fuck happened to you?”

Nix shook her head, then turned and shut the door. She’d honestly forgotten about the bruising forming on her face, the blood from the dog on her neck and down her front; the cuts in her jeans, the bandages visible on her thigh, and the cuts on her arms. She had to look like a complete mess. Without saying another word, Alden and Sophia joined her, blocking the doors with some pews. Wincing, Nix pulled her backpack off. She took her bow from her shoulder as well as the assault rifle. Sophia turned her flashlight on, peering into Nix’s bag.

“Fuck,” Sophia said.

Nix ignored her in favour of pulling out some antibiotics. She looked to Alden, who had one of his concerned looks on his face like he was trying to read her. He was leaning against his spear heavily ‘Sit.’ Nix signed to him.

‘What happened?’ he asked instead of sitting.

‘Not now,’ Nix signed tiredly. Everything was starting to come back to her, and she had never felt exhaustion like it. She sat down, and Alden copied her. He glanced at Sophia but kept his eyes on Nix. He watched her as she sanitised her hands, pulled out some gloves and took his bandages away. Nix cleaned the wound. She pulled out the Fentanyl.

‘What’s that?’

‘Fentanyl. Like anaesthetic,’ Nix signed, rubbing at her eyebrow with her wrist. She took out an injection needle and gave Alden a look.

‘Did Merle teach you this skill?’ he asked, watching Nix’s movements with the needle and the bottle.

‘Dad,’ she signed distractedly. She took his arm and gave him the injection. ‘Should make me stitching you up better.’

The two women waited for the effects to take in, and it was obvious when it did. Then Nix went to work, stitching up the wounds. Alden barely moved, his chest rising and falling evenly. Stitched up, Nix applied the petroleum jelly before covering the wound with bandages and gauze. Once taped down, Nix figured that was as good as it was going to get.

‘Your turn.’ Nix signed to Sophia once the Fentanyl had worn off Alden. Nix had made sure not to give him too big of a dose.

‘No thanks.’ Sophia signed, backing away. Nix glared at her tiredly, and Sophia relented. She sat on the bench and let Nix work on the wound on her side. She’d sustained another wound from that last Reaper, but it was nothing more than severe bruising.

Finished, Nix threw the gloves aside and rubbed at her back, wincing and gasping in pain when the fabric caught on the branding she’d sustained. Sophia cast her a worried look, but Nix waved it off. She closed her bag and sighed, leaning forwards so her elbows were on her knees. She rested her head on her hands.

Alden’s hand came to rest on her thigh, and she winced again, flinching at the touch. She saw the worry on his face. ‘I’ll tell you later. I want to sleep.’

Alden looked over at Sophia, who must’ve said something. ‘Here, you’re covered in blood.’ Nix sighed, watching as Alden wet a rag and reached over. He cleaned away the blood on her neck, the spatters on her arms. He was careful around the new cuts, the one from the Reaper she’d wrapped on her arm that she’d gotten before the bandits, in the initial Reaper attack. Alden was careful when he rewet the rag and turned her head towards him. He held her in place by her chin, carefully wiping at her face. The dried blood clung to her skin, and the rag caught on the cut she’d sustained in the first attack. She could hardly stand to look at Alden, feeling empty inside. She didn’t want him to see that, how badly she’d been affected.

Once finished, Alden threw the rag aside. ‘Come here,’ he signed, then let Nix lean into his side. She grimaced as she got comfy. It hurt, but it was comfier after a moment, and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to keep from crying. When Nix opened her eyes once more, sunlight was streaming through the windows.

‘You were conked out,’ Sophia signed to her. Sophia looked a lot better than she did before but was still nursing her hurt side. ‘What happened?’

Nix shook her head and groaned as she sat back up. Alden was asleep beside her, and she knew he’d have a crick in his neck once he woke. It had barely felt like a second had passed; her body definitely didn’t feel well-rested. ‘Bandits. I dealt with them.’

Sophia’s eyes widened a little. ‘Nix,’ she signed, glancing towards Alden, then back to Nix’s bruised and bloodied state.

‘I did what I did. I went and got what I needed to get, and now you’re both going to be OK. We wait here for another day, then leave Maggie a note and go back home.’ Nix signed. Her legs were aching, and the stitches she’d put in her thigh were hurting more than ever. She didn’t risk getting up. Her face was hurting, and she knew that the bruises had to be blooming brilliantly on her face. Nix wanted nothing more than to get back to Alexandria and lay down in bed for a month. She doubted she’d ever get something so nice as that.

‘What happened?’

Nix shrugged. ‘I’ll tell you later. Promise. I don’t want to … think about it. I’m … I wish I had some morphine.’

The two women looked at each other, and the two laughed quietly. Sophia reached over and clapped a hand on Nix’s knee gently. ‘Idiot,’ she signed, and Nix nodded. But they were OK, they were alive, and that was what mattered.

Several long hours later, stomachs empty, the three bordering on boredom, there was a knock at the church doors. ‘Maggie.’ Sophia signed after a moment.

She and Nix pushed the pews aside and Maggie came in. There was a cut on Maggie’s cheekbone, mirroring the one on Nix’s, and she’d had a bloody nose at one point or another. She stopped when she saw the bruises on Nix’s face, the cuts and marks covering her. Maggie looked to Alden and Sophia, who looked marginally better than Nix. “What the fuck happened?”

‘I went into Washington.’ Nix signed. ‘Can we go?’

Maggie looked at her for a moment, then nodded. They packed up their stuff and followed Maggie. The four of them stopped when Negan came across their path. He looked genuinely surprised at the mess that they all were. He spoke to Maggie, who slowly reached for her knife, only to pause after Negan had finished speaking.

‘Bye, Nix.’ Negan signed to her.

She frowned a little but nodded. ‘Bye.’

The sun had set once more by the time the four of them found Gabriel and Daryl. Maggie took out the walker that was closing in on them. Daryl and Gabriel looked worried at the three young adults' appearances. Nix waved her father’s concern off as she sat down.

‘You need food,’ Sophia signed to Nix once they’d all settled in around the small campfire. ‘When was the last time you ate?’ Nix looked at her incredulously, wondering why on earth she was bothered about it. Then she remembered.

There was the possibility that she was pregnant.

‘I don’t remember,’ she admitted. ‘No, stop,’ she signed when Sophia took meat from the animal on the spit. Daryl looked at her, concerned once more, but didn’t mention anything. Sophia glared at her, gesturing the meat at her. Nix relented and took the meat from Sophia and munched on it. She could see the worry increasing in Alden’s face, and she didn’t have it in her to face him.

She was so damn tired.

Chapter 30: Overwhelmed and Over It

Chapter Text

Come dawn, their group set off back to Alexandria, with crates full of food set securely in their wagon. Nix let Sophia rest her head on her lap, letting her friend sleep on. Though Nix was completely exhausted, she kept herself wary of their surroundings and found herself running her hand through Sophia’s hair. Maggie kept looking over at them from the front of the wagon, concern on her face. Gabriel had said nothing, either exhausted and done with the mission, or angry at them for something or other. Nix knew that her father wanted nothing more than to ask her what happened, why she was so bruised and bloodied.

Alden put an arm around Nix’s middle, and she leaned against his side, finding comfort there. Her back was hurting the most. She knew she had to get that branding checked over when she got back.

‘We … have a son we’re getting back to,’ she signed after a moment. ‘Look at us.’

‘A complete mess, right?’ he asked, a soft look on his face.

‘Right.’ Nix nodded and felt herself smile properly for the first time in days.

The journey back to Alexandria was better than the journey from it. They went on the roads most familiar to them, and within a few hours, they were in familiar territory. The walls of Alexandria came into view, and Nix woke Sophia up. Their mission was over. Maggie had gotten the revenge she wanted, and they had gotten the food they’d set out for. How many of them had gone on the mission? Maybe half of them had made it back.

Nix squinted, using her hand to block the sun, and saw Jerry and Carol atop the watch post. Nix smiled when Jerry cheered and waved at them. Alden returned the wave as people below opened the gates and let them in. Nix looked around as people started to move towards them. It looked like there’d been a storm recently, which made sense with what they’d endured when they went out to find Meridian.

“SOPHIA!” Enid screamed, then came rushing towards them, holding Adam in her arms. Sophia climbed out of the wagon and limped towards her girlfriend then hugged her tightly, mindful of Adam. Enid looked over Sophia’s shoulder to look at them. When she saw the state of Alden, and the bruises and cuts on Nix’s face, she pried herself away from Sophia. She went straight into doctor mode and handed Adam over to Nix. ‘What happened?’

Alden muttered his response, lifting up his shirt for Enid to see.

“Infirmary now. Both of you.”

Nix helped Alden out of the wagon and helped him go into the infirmary with one arm, the other holding Adam. Despite the fact that they’d managed to bring home all the food, had even brought new horses … Nix didn’t feel hungry. She didn’t feel anything except anxiety.

Rick, Carl and Michonne, alongside several others like Jesus and Marco, came rushing towards them. Judith ran and hugged Daryl, with her little brother trailing after her. Rick hugged Maggie, talking to her. Nix could greet them later. She had to help Alden. Marco spoke to Alden, concern on his face as the two shared some words. Marco clapped him on the shoulder, nodded to Nix, and then went to help Daryl and the others with the food.

‘I’ll take care of him,’ Enid signed to Nix once she’d gotten Alden on one of the beds in the infirmary. ‘I’ll deal with his wounds, then yours.’

Nix nodded and cast a look at Alden, who was trying to shed his clothes without hurting himself. She looked to Enid, and the other woman gently nudged her out of the room. Feeling unsure and lost, Nix went and sat on the counter, letting Adam curl up against her. She shut her eyes for a moment, holding the small child. She’d missed him more than she would admit. She’d been so worried that they would’ve died, and he would’ve lost yet another set of parents. After a few long minutes of waiting, Rosita came in with Coco in her arms.

‘You OK?’ she asked as she set Coco down. She took Adam from Nix and set him down with Coco.

‘Hit my head,’ Nix signed. Everything was starting to catch up to her, all the pain coming back full force. ‘I … met some assholes,’ she signed, then reached down and pulled up her t-shirt, twisting around. She saw the way Rosita pulled a face, hissing at the mess the branding iron had left on her skin.

‘I know a few things. Let me?’

Nix nodded, and let Rosita do her best, patching her up. Nix ended up with a couple of stitches in the back of her head, and a lot of ointment on her branding mark, as well as some bandaging to cover it. With the cuts on her thighs, Rosita cleaned them for Nix. She even checked over the deep cut on Nix’s face from the initial Reaper attack. Rosita didn’t ask how Nix had ended up with the branding mark, as no-one else had returned with any similar wounds. Nix was thankful the woman didn’t ask; she didn’t think she’d be able to deal with telling her.

‘Take it easy,’ she signed to Nix.

‘I’ll try. Thank you,’

Rosita nodded. She looked at Nix for a moment longer, then clasped her shoulder. ‘I’m glad you got back safe.’

Nix smiled a little, not sure what she could sign to Rosita. The older woman seemed to understand, which was more than enough. Rosita left, taking her daughter with her. She gave Nix a small wave, which she returned as she picked up Adam.

About ten minutes later, Enid exited the room Alden was in. She noticed that Nix had already been seen to and looked relieved at that.

‘He’s asleep,’ she signed when she saw the anxious look on Nix’s face. ‘He’s going to be OK. I’ve got him on a drip and given him a few sedatives. Let his body recover. Those antibiotics you gave him were well out of date but seem to have done well. Your stitching could use some work, but other than that? He’s going to be OK.’

Nix crossed the room in two strides and pulled Enid into a bone crushing hug. Enid hugged her back, just as tight.

‘Thank you.’ Nix signed when they finally pulled away from each other.

Enid nodded, then wiped at her eyes. ‘You brought them back. That’s what’s important.’

Nix nodded, then heaved a sigh. ‘I need to ask you something,’

‘Go for it,’

How was she supposed to word this? It wasn’t going to be easy. ‘I need an ultrasound.’ Enid paused, frowning at her. Nix rubbed at her face. ‘I was getting those typical symptoms. I’d been feeling sick in the morning, and I nearly puked a thousand times when we went down into the tunnels full of walkers. Alden … he thinks I’m pregnant. I don’t know if I am – or if I was. Can you -?’

Enid nodded, not questioning it. She led Nix away into a more private area. She closed the curtains and turned the machine on. Nix laid down and pulled up her t-shirt. Adam was sat on the other end of the bed, between Nix’s calves.

‘The jelly will be cold,’ Enid warned her before she squirted some into her hand and then rubbed it onto Nix’s exposed stomach. Nix pressed her lips together tightly when she saw the purpling bruises there, riding up onto her ribs and hidden away by her clothes. Enid pressed the wand onto her stomach, and Nix couldn’t help but feel complete and utter dread. She couldn’t look at the screen, so instead looked at Enid, waiting for her expression to give it away.

Nix watched as Enid’s mouth opened a little in concentration. Her eyebrows pulled together, eyes trying to figure it out. She licked her lips a fair bit, maybe a nervous tic or habit she didn’t notice. Then something in her face changed.

‘Nix … I think you were pregnant. I …’ she trailed off, looking back at the screen. ‘Can we do a pelvic exam? Just to be safe?’

What the hell was that? Still, Nix nodded, and they wiped the jelly from her stomach, and Enid did the exam, putting Adam on the floor so he wouldn’t see. Nix felt her face burning the entire time. Once it was done, Nix pulled up her jeans and sat back up on the bed.

‘I’m sorry,’ Enid signed, an apologetic look on her face.

‘Don’t be.’ Nix signed, wanting this to be over. ‘I thought, after I got back to them, that if I had been pregnant, I wouldn’t be anymore. I met some unfriendly folk,’ she signed, then lifted up her shirt so her bandaged side was visible. ‘I just didn’t want to give myself hope for something that wasn’t there.’

Enid nodded. ‘I think it was either a missed miscarriage or an incomplete one.’

‘Go on.’

‘The embryo died, and there’s still some tissue remaining. But it’ll pass. You’ll … possibly experience a few cramps, and the … well, the tissue will pass through.’

‘OK,’ Nix signed. It made her feel odd. She wasn’t sure what to do.

‘Go and get some food. Tell Soph I want to see her?’

Nix nodded, glad for the excuse to leave. Once she got out, with Adam securely in her arms, she saw her father dishing out food to the people of Alexandria. She smiled a little and walked over. Her smile widened when she saw Connie. Her father ran to Connie and hugged her tightly. Nix had stopped in her tracks, watching her father embrace Connie. She was alive, and she was right there. Nix felt like crying with relief. She could only stand there and watch as her father put his hands on Connie’s face and leaned in and kissed her. Nix’s jaw slackened a little, but she was filled with complete joy and happiness at the display.

‘Happy to see you. I have so many questions,’ Daryl signed to Connie once he’d pulled away from her. Nix felt something soft and warm in her chest as she made her way over to them. ‘Do you want an apple?’ Daryl, it seemed, had dropped the crate of apples in his haste to hug Connie. Nix felt fond as she watched the two interact. She saw the way they kept touching, lingering like they didn’t want to part.

Then Connie saw Nix out of the corner of her eye. Nix felt the tears stinging at her eyes, saw them threatening her vision. But it didn’t matter. Connie pulled her into a hug, a hand on her back, the other on her head. She held Connie tight in her arms. After a moment, they pulled away from each other.

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ she signed, then wiped at her face. Connie smiled at her and reached up to wipe the rest of the tears from Nix’s face. She looked at the bruises and cuts on Nix’s face, and gently touched them, worried as to what Nix had gone through.

‘I’m glad you got back safe,’ Connie replied.

They shared food around with the people. Nix told Sophia that Enid wanted her, as well as some food. Sophia was quick to grab Enid an apple and then raced off towards the infirmary. Nix watched her go, a sad smile on her face.

Aaron surprised her by pulling her into a side hug. “Alden?”

‘Got hurt. He’ll be fine.’ Nix signed to him. Aaron pointed at her face, eyes lingering on the bruises. ‘Bandits in the city. I gave them hell.’

“I’m glad you’re back,” he said. Despite the fact the two didn’t talk much, Nix was thankful for his words. “Alden too.”

‘You two grew close didn’t you?’ she asked. Aaron nodded, and Nix huffed a quiet laugh. She was distracted when Carl came up to her and hugged her. Hugging hurt her ribs, but she still returned the gesture. Aaron quietly left them, moving over to talk to Gabriel.

‘You look like shit,’ Carl told her once he pulled away from her.

‘I know. It’s the first thing people notice.’ She gestured to the bruises on the side of her face. On the other side was the cut from the Reaper. There was no way she was going to tell anyone else about the branding iron, or the details of the bandits. ‘Maggie brought food,’

‘You did,’

Nix shook her head. ‘We split,’ she corrected him. ‘Alden and Sophia got hurt. We knew when to stop. So we hid away until Maggie came to collect us.’

“Oh,” Carl said, taken by surprise. ‘You get hurt by the Reapers too?’

She pointed to the cut. He frowned when she didn’t elaborate on the rest of her injuries. Deciding not to talk to him about it, Nix sidestepped him and moved over towards her father. He was distributing apples to the people, telling them to only take one.

‘I’ve never seen you be like that around anyone else,’ she signed to him once the people dispersed, pleased to have an apple.

‘What do you mean?’

‘The smile on your face. You lit up when you saw Connie. You kissed her,’ She watched the blush forming on her father’s face. ‘I called her Mom once or twice. By accident,’ Nix admitted. ‘She’s always been a mother to me. Maybe my mother and father should get together.’

Daryl shoved at her shoulder lightly. ‘In all seriousness … I need to talk to you,’ Daryl signed to Nix. She frowned at him but nodded her head. ‘Somewhere private,’ he added.

Not entirely sure what this could be about, Nix followed her father to their house after Aaron had offered to take care of Adam. Once inside, and in one of the rooms that didn’t hold another person, Daryl sat them on the bed.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, seeing the nerves in her father’s face. She could count on one hand how many times she’d seen him so nervous.

‘Remember how I told you your mom left?’ Nix nodded, confused as to why he was bringing it up. ‘She used to be a soldier in the military before,’ he started. Nix still didn’t get it. After all these years, he was talking about her. Was it because Nix mentioned how Connie had been a mother to her? ‘I lost contact. I … didn’t think I’d ever see her again. But I did. At one point. Before you and the others came along. During this.’

‘She was alive?’ Nix asked, eyes wide. ‘What the fuck, Dad?’

‘Let me finish.’

It felt like Nix’s whole world had been flipped upside down. But she let her father continue. She’d only just gotten back, had been through hell, and her boyfriend was still recovering from the attack with the Reapers. Now her father was talking about her birth mother, as if Nix cared for the woman she had never met. This … stranger who had left, who held no memories with Nix.

‘We … reunited. I don’t even know how we did. We tried to rekindle what we had. She was one of the very few people I loved. Once, she tried asking about you. How old you’d been when you died. I didn’t want to tell her, but she kept pushing. I mentioned the farm, and how we thought you died there. She called me a useless father. I called her a useless mother. I was the one who cared for you, brought you up. But … this isn’t about how I saw her once in this.’ Nix felt like her stomach was going to lurch up her throat and out of her dry mouth. ‘I saw her again. She was with the Reapers.’

Nix shook her head and got to her feet, pacing as her breathing picked up. No way. No way in hell was her mother with the Reapers. But how would she know? Nix had never met the woman before in her life. How the hell could she still be alive? Her people had almost killed Alden and Sophia. They had killed some of their people. Some of Maggie’s people were dead.

‘No. You’re lying to me.’ This was too much. She’d barely had any sleep in the last few days of the mission the sleep she had not enough, and her body was hurting. It felt like she was drowning in pain and misery, and her father was here, adding more to it.

Daryl got to his feet and tried to get her to look at him. He reached out for her, and she slipped through his arms, grimacing, body turning to make sure he didn’t touch her. ‘Nix, please.’

‘No!’ Nix’s breathing was getting heavier. Everything had been so quick, so scary and – fuck, she didn’t want to hear about her fucking birth mother. ‘Connie is my mother. I don’t care about the woman you fucked. She was never in my life. Connie is the one who raised me, who was that role model for me. Whoever this bitch is, she’s no mother of mine.’

‘Nix,’ he tried, but she was on the edge, losing herself to the anger and pain and misery that was swallowing her up.

‘Shut the fuck up. I – I can’t deal with this right now.’ Nix could feel herself gasping for breath. Oh shit, was she hyperventilating? She put her hands on her knees, staring at the ground as she tried to get her breath back. She felt sick, and her head was starting to spin. Her legs felt like jelly, and there was a weird feeling in them. Her face felt too hot, and her eyes were burning. Things started to go hazy, and she lost track of everything.

Somehow, she ended up on the floor, her back to the wall. Her father was sitting across from her, concern on his face. There was a bucket between her legs, and the smell of vomit filtered through the air. She’d been sick?

‘Baby,’ Daryl signed once he knew she was back with him.

Nix took a shaky breath. Her breathing was back to normal. Her throat felt raw, the taste of vomit on her tongue. She was dripping with sweat and felt exhausted – both physically and mentally.

‘What happened?’ she asked, fingers moving slowly. Her head was pounding, and she could feel the dried tear stains on her face.

‘I think you had a panic attack,’

Nix shut her eyes; head tilted back until it touched the wall. It seemed everything had truly caught up to her. The pain, the fear, everything. Now she was completely exhausted. All she wanted to do was to curl up in bed and sleep for a week.

‘Has Sophia told you what happened?’ she asked, then eyes shut for a few more seconds before she opened them and looked at her father, head upright once more. He shook his head. ‘Alden got hurt. So did Sophia. Alden’s wounds were worse, but Sophia wasn’t in any fit state to help me move him when we got to a safe place. So I decided to try and find the nearest hospital to get the supplies I needed.’

She watched her father’s face. He barely reacted. ‘So I left, telling them that there was a possibility the Reapers would follow us to the church I’d left them in. Would follow me. One did. Headwound.’ She tapped the side of her head gently. ‘I made it to some hospitals. I got the stuff I needed. Then I got caught by some bandits –’

‘Nix,’

She held a hand up to him. As tired as she was mentally, she’d suffered too much. She had to tell someone before it led to another panic attack. ‘They soon realised I was deaf. They took me back to their camp. Deeper into the city. I didn’t know where the hell I was. They took a branding iron to my back. Threatened me. It was only when one of them tried to rape me, did I get free. I went … berserk,’ she signed. There was a smile on her face, but it was sad and miserable. ‘I killed every last one of those motherfuckers. They were not stopping me from saving Alden and Sophia. So I got my shit back, killed them all, and went back to the church.’

Nix pushed the bucket out from between her legs, which felt damp and gross. Oh god, she hadn’t pissed herself, had she?

‘You don’t have to tell me.’

‘I haven’t told anyone this. All Sophia and Alden know is I was attacked but got free.’ Nix wiped at her face. ‘When I got back, I saw a Reaper entering the church. Hadn’t spotted me. I got in just as the motherfucker tried to slice Alden’s neck. I shot him. If Sophia hadn’t taken the gun from my hand … I would’ve emptied the stupid clip into his body. That asshole wasn’t taking another person from me. I bandaged them both up and ignored my wounds. Maggie found us the next morning. Then we went to you and Gabriel.’

Daryl shifted and leaned against the wall, letting Nix rest her head on his shoulder. Tears were slowly making their way down her face once more. ‘And Alden noticed some stuff,’ she signed, fingers starting to shake. ‘Back down in those tunnels. How the smell of the walkers was getting to me. Before I left him in that church … he asked if I was pregnant. I didn’t know if I was or not. And I was terrified that if I was, it would be the only thing left of him if he died. So when we got back … I asked Enid for an ultrasound.’

She saw the way her father’s body stilled. ‘I miscarried. It was just some embryo. But I think I was so caught up in all this bullshit, that it didn’t really register. And now all I can think about is how I have to tell him that I miscarried. We didn’t even mean for it to happen, and now we … don’t have the chance to decide for ourselves.’

Daryl pulled her into a hug, and she felt like she was five years old. He lifted her legs up and gently lifted her into his lap. Nix let go and sobbed into her father’s chest. She sobbed and wept, maybe even wailed. It didn’t matter. Her father held her securely and protectively. She’d managed to tell someone everything that had happened in such a short period of time.

After what felt like an eternity, Nix’s crying had calmed down.

‘Go take a shower. Then get some sleep.’

‘OK.’ Nix got to her feet gingerly. ‘I feel gross.’

Daryl had gotten up too. He let her take hold of his hand, his other arm around her shoulders. “Bathroom,” he said when she looked at him.

The two walked together to the bathroom. Nix ended up sitting on the lid of the toilet. Her father vanished for a few minutes and returned with some towels and some of her clothes. He kneeled down in front of her, and she offered a meek smile.

‘Take as long as you need. I …’ his face went pink, ‘I even brought you a pad. Not sure if it’s the right one. But I figured you might need it.’

Nix’s face went pink too. She nodded, signing her thanks. He looked cautious but left, shutting the door behind him as he went. Getting to her feet once more, Nix made her way over to the door and locked it. Clothes discarded; she couldn’t help but grimace. Her miscarriage had finished, from the looks of the mess left in her pants. She felt gross. Once inside the shower, she turned it on. The water was cold, but Nix didn’t care.

Ten or so minutes later, Nix stepped out of the shower, shivering. She felt a little bit better and changed quickly. The flannel was old and worn over the graphic vest top. It probably wasn’t hers, but she didn’t care. She slipped her boots back on and ran her hands through her hair. She needed a haircut again. She looked to the side and saw some scissors in the cabinet. Five minutes later, her hair was short once more. It was untidy, and probably a mess, but Nix didn’t have it in her to care. She peered into the mirror, wiping the steam away. She grimaced at who stared back at her. It was like she didn’t recognise herself. Nix pushed her fingers through her hair once more, and then peered closer to her reflection. She was getting grey hairs.

Fuck. Just what she needed.

Nix left the bathroom, her dirty clothes bundled up in her arms. She left them in the room she and Alden shared and went to the infirmary. Enid and Sophia were to the side, holding each other, talking quietly. Nix went into the room that Alden was in, shutting the door behind her. She sat in the chair at his bedside and curled up in the seat. She rested her head on her arms, watching him sleep on.

 


 

 

Nix jerked awake so suddenly she thought she’d been electrocuted. Her knife was in her hand, and she looked around. Alden was awake.

‘Idiot,’ she signed to him, but the relief flooded her like a tsunami as she put her knife away. ‘How do you feel?’ she asked, rubbing at her face. She winced at the pain, catching the bruising.

‘Better. You never said, back at the church,’ he signed, then gestured to her stomach.

‘Oh. Um,’ she wasn’t sure how to tell him. ‘You were right. Enid checked me after she had you steady. But … I met some unfriendly people, bandits, when I went looking for a hospital,’ she started, and Alden sat up a little straighter.

‘Nix,’

‘I know. It was dangerous to go out there alone, but I knew the risks. I’d do it again, Alden.’ She looked at him with a stern expression on her face. It softened after a few seconds. ‘Those bandits … well, I got hurt. And Enid told me I miscarried because of the trauma.’

Alden reached over and took hold of her hand. Nix shrugged, trying to be blasé about it. But it still hurt, somehow. She hadn’t meant to get pregnant and hadn’t meant to lose it either. However, it hadn’t been more than a clump of cells, so it didn’t hurt as much as it could’ve. Alden jerked his head a little, and Nix smiled tiredly. She got up from her chair and slid onto the bed with him.

‘How’re your wounds?’ she asked once they’d both gotten comfortable.

‘Getting better,’ he signed. Nix nodded and rested her hand over his chest, above the bandages on his abdomen.

‘Good.’ Nix pressed a kiss to his collarbone and held onto him carefully. He put an arm around her and rested his chin atop her head.

The two barely had time to rest before Sophia was rushing in, telling them that Eugene had returned. ‘He’s come with some discount Stormtroopers.’

Nix frowned when Sophia spelt it out. ‘What the fuck is a Stormtrooper?’

With a little help from Sophia, Nix got Alden into a wheelchair. ‘I feel stupid,’ he signed. Adam had been placed in his lap, and the little boy seemed ecstatic to be there.

‘Shut up. It’s either this or be bedridden,’ Nix signed to him. He relented and let her push him towards the others. They settled in by Gracie and Aaron’s side, and Nix sat on one of the steps of the council hall. Eugene was talking to them, and Nix never understood the man. He always used long words and seemed to barely move his mouth when he spoke. Sophia sat on the floor beside Alden’s wheelchair and started to sign along to what Eugene was saying.

‘Him, Ezekiel and Yumiko went on a journey,’ Sophia signed, frowning in concentration. ‘Remember how he was talking to someone on the radio? He went to go to them for help,’

Nix nodded, remembering how Eugene had asked for volunteers in the midst of the Whisperer War. Ezekiel and Yumiko had been the ones to go with him, taking some horses with them. It seemed Eugene had come back with a small army who had brought supplies.

‘He says we hit the jackpot. He’s going to step aside and let … Lance Hornsby,’ she spelt out the man’s name, ‘come and tell us.’

‘What a stupid name.’

Sophia put a hand over her mouth to muffle the laugh as the man stepped up in Eugene’s place. Alden caught her attention. ‘Eugene said Hornsby is the diplomatic representative of the Commonwealth.’

A diplomatic representative? It sounded very official. Something about that title made her feel weird. Like it was supposed to stay in the past before the dead started walking. The man looked at them all, and Nix wasn’t sure. He had a smile on his face, clearly trying to come across as a nice person. Maybe he was trying just a little too hard.

Sophia resumed translating. ‘He thanks us for letting him in. He’s impressed with everything we’ve built here … and what he’s heard of the other communities.’ Nix looked over at the man in his nice white suit. He looked out of place. It didn’t help that the windmill behind him was burned and broken, that some walls were still missing. ‘He says it’s clear we’ve fallen on hard times.’

‘No shit.’

Sophia smirked a little as Alden took a swipe at her shoulder. ‘The Commonwealth is willing to help us – build Alexandria and Hilltop again by giving us supplies, or for us to join them if we’re interested.’ Sophia paused when she saw the way Nix’s expression changed. She gestured for Sophia to continue; she could ask her questions after.

Lance continued to talk. Nix wasn’t sure what to make of it. His people were giving them supplies, and he wanted to establish potential trade. He was willing for people to live at the Commonwealth temporarily whilst Alexandria, and even Hilltop, were rebuilt. Nix wasn’t sure whether or not to trust him. Eugene seemed to trust him, and his words appeared to be appeasing the others – aside from Maggie.

Which put Nix in an odd situation. She didn’t trust Lance Hornsby, at least not yet. She also had very little trust in Maggie, after everything that they’d just gone through. Nix didn’t trust Maggie, not after what they’d gone through. It had started to feel like more of a revenge mission than one for food and supplies. Nix could see the way her father, as cautious as he was, interested in what the stranger had to say.

Was it time to start trusting strangers?

‘He’s letting us go and think it through – whether to have a meeting or to decide to pack.’ Sophia signed. Nix nodded and got to her feet.

Rick got to his feet, leaning on his cane as he looked at the newcomer. “This does sound like an interesting opportunity. Please allow us to think it through before coming to a conclusion.”

Lance Hornsby nodded to Rick. “Of course,” he said, gesturing to him.

‘Shall we join the meeting?’ she asked of Alden. He looked down at Adam before he nodded to her. She wheeled him around and pushed him up the ramp and into the council hall. That had been the place where she and her group had been kicked out of Alexandria and sent to Hilltop. So much had changed since then.

Rick settled down at the table, with Michonne, Maggie, Jesus and Gabriel sitting with him along the table. Nix was suddenly reminded of The Last Supper; they even had their own Jesus with them. Maybe Rick and Jesus could swap places. The thought amused Nix a little.

‘Thoughts?’ Rick asked as he spoke to the others.

Nix crossed her arms over her chest, watching as people began to talk. Some of the residents looked hopeful. The more renowned ones such as Aaron, Rosita and several others, had mixed expressions on their faces. Carl looked like he was trying to steady his excitement. Beside Nix, Sophia had her arms crossed too and was watching her mother.

‘Nix?’ Rick asked, and she looked at him, surprised. ‘What do you think?’

She shrugged a shoulder. ‘If you trust Eugene that these people mean well, then we should take the help. We don’t have the supplies or the manpower to rebuild it as quick as we want to,’ she signed, thinking hard. ‘Diplomatic representative? It sounds like it’s run by a load of political bastards.’

Rick laughed, nodding his head, clearly amused. ‘I know.’ Nix couldn’t get rid of her own smile as Rick turned to look at the others. Nix glanced over at her father, and she could see him lost in thought.

They all listened to Rick and the others on the council as they spoke, whilst Carl translated for Nix and Connie. Rick gave them all the choice, to go with Eugene and Lance Hornsby back to the Commonwealth, or to stay behind and help with repairs.

Nix watched as her father volunteered to go and she tried to stomp out the feeling that she’d just been betrayed. Several others volunteered too – Connie, Kelly and Magna for starters. Nix wasn’t sure how to feel about that. She hadn’t expected her friends to willingly go to some new place. But they trusted Eugene, and Yumiko was still in the Commonwealth. It had to mean something good if Yumiko and Ezekiel had remained in the Commonwealth. Carol volunteered to go, as did Jerry and his family.

‘What are you thinking?’ Alden asked. Nix had leaned against the pillar, and he could see her on his left. Maybe her face had betrayed her, but it was all cut and bruised, so it could’ve been hard to tell.

‘I don’t know.’ Nix told him honestly. ‘Do you trust this guy?’ she asked him. With Hornsby’s nice, pressed and ironed suit, his hair and even just his face. Something didn’t sit well with Nix. He came across as too nice, and Nix knew that could only lead to disaster. How long would it last in the Commonwealth? She didn’t trust what she saw when it came to Hornsby.

‘I don’t.’ Sophia told them, butting into their conversation. ‘But my mom is going and so is your dad – Carl’s going with Judith and RJ …’ she trailed off, eyes going to the council members sitting at the table. ‘Rosita and Gabriel are going too.’

Nix cast a glance to Gabriel and felt nothing but utter distaste for him. After they had fought and killed and suffered on the mission they had only just returned from, Gabriel was leaving? Nix scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to feel completely angry and betrayed.

Maggie had decided not to go. Rick had decided to go with the kids, leaving Michonne and Aaron in charge until he returned. He was mostly going so he could be with the kids, and to speak to the leader of the Commonwealth. Apparently, it was some woman called Governor Milton. Nix had heard about a different governor that Rick and the others had dealt with long ago. Would she be as crazy as that governor?

‘I want to stay here,’ Nix signed to Alden after a few minutes. The others were talking about whether they wanted to stay with the rebuild or to go to the Commonwealth. ‘You’re not fit to travel.’

‘Any other reason why you want to stay?’ Alden asked. Nix shrugged a shoulder, then rubbed at her aching jaw. She didn’t want to do any more travelling, even if it meant going to another community. Not yet anyway. Nix wanted to know that Alexandria was up and running, and for Hilltop to be the same way too before she did something big like moving across the wasteland to get to the Commonwealth.

‘They use money,’ Sophia signed, scoffing at the idea. ‘It’s like everything from Before.’ Eugene had been telling them more details about the Commonwealth. According to Eugene, they asked about their jobs from before, and then gave them jobs and homes based on them. It sounded like capitalist bullshit to Nix. She was also discouraged when Eugene admitted how thorough their questions had been – who wanted to know how many shits Eugene took in a day? Nix certainly didn’t.

Nix stared at Sophia. ‘That is so stupid,’ she signed. ‘Are they trying to pretend like the dead don’t walk?’ Sophia shrugged at her.

They came to their own conclusions. Most of the people Nix cared about had decided to go to the Commonwealth. She, Alden, Sophia and Enid would be staying behind with Aaron and Michonne. Several other residents would stay behind, to help with the rebuild.

Rick and his children bid them all goodbye as they packed up the wagons. He rode with Lance Hornsby and Eugene. Connie hugged Nix goodbye, as did Kelly and Magna.

‘Stay safe,’ Nix signed to Magna.

‘Always.’

The people who remained watched as their people left with Lance and Eugene. There were a few soldiers who remained to help with the distribution of food and supplies. Apparently, more soldiers would come to help them rebuild with more food and goods. Nix looked to her friends, who had varied expressions on their faces. Enid looked upset, Sophia suspicious, and Alden tired. Aaron, Jesus and Maggie, like Sophia, seemed to be suspicious and distrusted what they had just witnessed.

‘I’m hungry,’ Nix signed after a moment. Sophia looked to her, then laughed a little.

‘Let’s eat. We have enough to feed us for months now.’ So their group turned to the supplies and went to get some food. They had some long months ahead of them. They needed the energy to fix the walls, and Nix knew that Maggie would want them to rebuild Hilltop once Alexandria was secure.

Maybe Nix would need these long months that the rebuild brought. She could lose herself in rebuilding the walls, doing perimeter walks, and ensuring that Alexandria would become the safe haven the sign on the gates told wanderers. Despite all the aches and pains, she had made it back to Alexandria with Alden and Sophia. They would be safe, for now. Nix was only worried about how long that safety would last.

Chapter 31: What Comes After

Chapter Text

Nix bolted upright in bed, and then jumped to her feet and rushed to the bathroom. She vomited into the toilet and could feel the sweat covering her body, the way she was shaking from head to toe. She was gasping and could feel the tears stinging her eyes. Once the vomiting had passed, Nix wiped at her face and flushed the toilet. She sighed and leaned against the wall, a hand coming to her forehead. It was still dark out.

Shaking and trembling, Nix carefully got to her feet once more. She went to the sink and wet her face, trying to get her breathing level, but could still feel how hard her heart was beating in her chest. Nix pushed her fingers through her hair, grimacing at the wetness there from sweat. The bruises were yellowing now, and she thought she looked like a damn mess. Her cuts were scabbed over, though she wasn’t sure about the mark the branding iron had left her.

She scratched at her scalp for a moment, willing her body to calm down. Even in the soft moonlight, she could see where the grey hairs were starting to become more visible. Nix decided to chalk it up to stress – and possibly genetics – and did her best not to think about the change of colour. Hair greyed. After a moment, she went back to her bedroom. Adam was in his cot there, sleeping the night away, but Alden was awake and had lit a lamp. Nix sighed a little. She’d hoped that she hadn’t woken him, but she knew better. How many times had she woken Alden because of her night terrors now? They’d both lost count at this point.

‘Nightmare?’ he asked. She nodded, then crawled into bed with him. He didn’t ask anything more of her, and instead let her burrow into his chest. He shivered when her fingers went over the scarring on his abdomen. The stitches had been removed a few days ago, and all he had to do was rest up. It drove Alden insane, and Nix knew it. He longed to be at the smithy, working as best he could, but Enid had vetoed it. Without Carl there to do the work, things were going a little slower than normal. Even though Commonwealth soldiers helped with the rebuild, things could’ve been going faster.

Alden extinguished the lamp and settled in beside Nix. He didn’t ask what her nightmares were about; they both knew. His hand grazed Nix’s back, and she couldn’t help the hiss of pain, how she jerked out of his grip. Her hand went to massage the area. It still hurt like a bitch, and Nix hated it. She ignored the way Alden looked at her, concern and worry evident in his face and eyes. Instead, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, unable to look him in the eyes.

Neither of them got much sleep for the rest of the night.

Adam woke up and jumped up in his cot when the early sunlight filtered through the curtains come morning. Nix got up, pulled on some clothes, and picked him up. She smiled down at him, but it barely stretched across her face. Adam didn’t notice and instead grinned back at her. She looked over at Alden, who was getting out of bed. He looked tired and kept wincing every so often when his wounds stretched.

Nix moved over to him, and he looked at her, unsure and worried. She shrugged a shoulder at him, not sure what else to do. It was difficult trying to look Alden in the eye because she knew her own were haunted. It felt like if she did, then he’d know everything she’d done to get back to him and Sophia. Desperation had gripped her, as had anger and hatred. Now she was having to deal with the aftermath, to deal with her actions.

She didn’t regret it, not at all. She just needed some time to adjust to the new nightmares, to mourn the piece of herself she lost that day.

Alden kissed the top of Adam’s head, cooing at him in Nix’s arms. She watched and let Alden kiss her when he asked. He let her go, and she left the house. There were still a few missing panels, but with what the Commonwealth had given them, they’d be fixed up soon.

‘Good morning!’ Gracie signed brightly at Nix. She smiled and repeated the sign back to her. Gracie was with her father, stationed at a table outside of the council hall. There were rations of food there, that they were handing out to the people of Alexandria.

Nix wished her father was there with her. Instead, she was going to get through it with her friends and her boyfriend. She’d gone through most of her life in the apocalypse without him, so what were a few extra months?

‘Food?’ Aaron asked. Nix nodded to him, then hefted Adam up in her arms, readjusting her hold. “What about him?”

‘Apple,’ she signed, then pointed to a bowl with a length of timber in it. Aaron quickly caught on.

“Like applesauce,”

Nix nodded, then thanked Gracie when she handed over two apples. Aaron handed over the bowl and timber and watched Nix warily as she went over to one of the newly built tables. She sat Adam on top of the table. He watched as Nix peeled the apple, cut up the pieces and then put the core aside. She mashed it all up in the bowl and added some water to it to make it a little easier on Adam when he ate it.

Nix ate her own apple as Adam ate from the bowl. The applesauce was thick in his hands, but he kept eating, a pleased look on his face. Adam looked at her, then poked at one of the bruises on her face. It had started to yellow out, so it didn’t hurt much. She still swatted his hand away and pulled a face at him. At least he hadn’t gone for the scabbed cut on her face. She knew that one was going to leave one hell of a scar.

Once Nix had finished her food and had gotten Adam to eat his own apple, she took him and brought him over to Sophia. She was on babysitting duty and was making sure all the kids were safe in one of the brownstone houses.

‘I saw Alden go to the smithy,’ she signed, ratting her friend out. Nix and Enid had been stern to Alden about his recovery, and that meant no overexerting himself and his wounds. Being at the smithy was overexerting his wounds. ‘Have fun.’

Nix rolled her eyes and flipped her off before she left. She made her way to the smithy that belonged to Carl. She hoped he was doing well, that the Grimes family was going to be OK. She knew that Michonne missed them, and had spotted her more than once on the gate’s watch post as if hoping her boys and Judith would come home.

“Ah, fuck,” Alden said when he saw her approaching. ‘I know,’ he signed to her. ‘But they need a blacksmith, and Carl isn’t here,’

‘You’ll reopen your wounds, need more stitches –’

‘I can go easy. It’s not that bad, really.’

Nix pressed her lips together. ‘You know I …’ Nix paused and put her hands over her face for a moment. ‘You know you need to get better before doing something like this. Tell someone how to do it, watch them and tell them. Alden.’

He paused, looking at her. Sometimes she hated how well he knew her, how he was able to read her so easily. ‘What happened to you out there?’

It felt like her skin had started to crawl. ‘Do you really want to know?’ she asked, feeling scared and sick, completely disgusted with herself. Those feelings promptly morphed into anger and fury. ‘Fine. Those asshole bandits found me, kidnapped me and tortured me. They cut into my thighs. One of them branded my skin. One tried to rape me. I got free and killed every last one of them. I don’t even know how many of them there were. They weren’t going to fucking stop me from getting back to you and Sophia. And now I don’t feel like me anymore. I feel like I’m just a … I feel weird and gross, and I can’t stand the nightmares I get.’

She stopped and watched Alden; not sure what else she could say. She mentally tallied them up. She killed twenty-one, including those fucking dogs, and that was even if she remembered all of the kills. ‘Is that what you wanted to know? Or would you like to know they set dogs on me too, and I had to kill those as well?’

‘Nix,’ he moved closer to her and pulled her into a hug. She had half a mind to pull away and curse him out. She felt like screaming, to try and get them all to understand that she felt like she was burning from the inside out. She desperately wanted to let her feelings out, to bleed them out and never feel them again, but she didn’t know how. Nix didn’t have it in her, to have the energy to let those feelings loose. Instead, she slipped her arms around Alden’s middle and rested her head on his chest. She did what she did, and she knew that she’d do it all again if it meant that they’d get back safe.

After a few moments, Nix pulled herself out of Alden’s arms. She felt like crying, but she’d done so much of it that she was tired of it. If only she could have had a full night’s sleep. It would’ve helped if she’d managed to sleep through the night. She wondered if she’d ever have that luxury again.

‘Don’t hold this inside. You’ll lose your mind,’ Alden signed to her. ‘You know I’m here, and so are Sophia and Enid,’

‘But my dad isn’t, he’s left, and I need him. Connie left too. They all did, everyone important left and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It was us for so long, and now they’re not here,’

‘They’ll come back. They always do.’

‘I know. I don’t trust the Commonwealth, and really don’t trust that prick Eugene brought. Something’s not right about him. I … I’m tired. We’re always having to fight, and for once I’d like to be at ease and not worry about some new threat.’ Spelling out the Commonwealth took too much time, so was abbreviated to CW. It made things a little easier.

‘We’ll get to that point. When there are no more walkers to be scared of, no more new enemies. We’ll have kids to raise who won’t know what a walker is.’

Nix frowned a little at him, but the distraction worked. ‘Kids?’ she asked. ‘Isn’t Adam enough?’

‘For now,’

Nix huffed a quiet laugh. ‘You’re very optimistic.’

‘It balances you out, doesn’t it?’

How Alden could deal with her and her shit, she didn’t know. Maybe it was because he loved her.

 


 

 

Nix grunted a little as she drove her knife into the walker’s skull. Damn walkers were filtering into Alexandria. The panels were still broken, even after the long weeks of rebuilding that had passed. Her father had been gone from Alexandria for almost a month now. Nix missed him. She wondered what was happening at the Commonwealth.

Her body had more or less recovered from the wounds that had been inflicted upon her by the bandits. Though healed, the scars were pinkish red. The branding iron scar was the thickest scar she had yet and often gave her phantom pains. Nix had many scars, and it seemed with every year she’d get a few more. It still annoyed her, and her nightmares didn’t cease. She knew they would eventually, with time and patience. She just wanted it to be over, for the nightmares to go away, for her pains to ease off.

Maggie and several others had decided to return to the Hilltop, to see what they could do, and potentially rebuild. Nix knew it was a waste of time to go so soon, not with Alexandria still being rebuilt. But Maggie was determined and far more stubborn than Nix ever remembered her being. She had even taken her son with her.

Jesus had gone with them too. Hilltop was his home, and he was Maggie’s right-hand man. Maggie looked to him for guidance, for support. He loved her like a sister, despite the time apart. Without Jesus around, it was almost … miserable. He wasn’t there to lighten the mood or suggest a good book. However, he had been a good leader and could offer Maggie essential advice. He was also one of few people who could get her to see reason. Marco had also returned to Hilltop, with Lydia and Elijah. Marco had bid them farewell and told Alden and Nix he expected them back at Hilltop soon.

The walker fell to the floor, and she looked back to Sophia, who had taken out her own walker.

“Fucking ridiculous,” Sophia said, mostly to herself. She pushed her hair out from her face and then stretched. A brief look of satisfaction crossed Sophia’s face, and Nix knew her back had to have popped nicely. ‘I would like one day without walkers. Just one.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Walkers are part of the world,’ she signed, looking down at the walker. ‘Come on. We need to burn these.’

Together, they dragged the bodies away to the burn site. It was behind one of the houses and was away from where the children could see it. There were a few there, but not enough for a fire. They were piling bodies up, big enough to be worth throwing gas on.

‘How many more days are we going to be doing this for?’

‘Too many.’

‘At least Alden can make us weapons again,’

Nix nodded. Now mostly healed, Alden was back to the smithy. He was working long hours, trying to keep up with the demands of others. But they didn’t have as many people with them, which made things slightly easier and harder at the same time. There were fewer people to protect, but fewer people to watch their backs. Walkers were consistently a problem, and hunting wasn’t an option just yet, not until the animals felt safe enough in the land the horde had destroyed. At least Commonwealth soldiers helped with security and supplies.

‘He’ll be making arrowheads for days,’ Sophia added, then she saw Nix’s face. ‘Hey, what’s up?’

Nix huffed a sigh, not entirely sure what was wrong. Well, she knew several things were wrong, but she didn’t know how to word it. ‘You know the Reapers?’ she asked, which wasn’t what she’d been aiming to talk about. Sophia nodded, confused as to why Nix was bringing them up. ‘One of them is my mother.’

Sophia stared at her for a moment.

“Fucking what?”

‘Yeah,’ Nix signed, feeling a little lighter now that someone else knew. ‘She’s the lone survivor. Dad said that he saw her before, but I don’t know when. But she’s alive.’

“What -?” Sophia frowned, and Nix could see the information sinking in. ‘When did he tell you this?’

‘When we got back. I think I had a panic attack afterwards. I even –’ Nix stopped. Sophia didn’t know that she’d miscarried. Sophia had believed Alden’s suspicions, hadn’t she? Nix hadn’t even mentioned anything more about the possible pregnancy, and Sophia hadn’t asked. ‘I miscarried. Alden had been right. I’d been pregnant. Then the bandits happened, and I lost it. After dealing with it all, learning that my mom was still alive was too much.’

‘Nix,’ Sophia signed before she pulled her into the tightest hug Nix had ever had. Even after a month had passed, Nix was still trying to come to terms with what she’d been through. The bandits, the beatings, learning about her mother and dealing with the fact she’d been pregnant and lost it … there were a lot of things Nix had on her mind.

She felt like hiding in Sophia’s arms, to curl up there, tucked away in her chest. Sophia was her best friend, kept her sane and got her. Even when Nix didn’t tell her about all the horrible things she’d been through, Sophia was still there to hug her and lend an ear. They stood there for a moment, in each other’s arms, before Sophia pulled away from her.

“Fuck her,” Sophia said, and Nix couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Fuck her for not taking care of you. She may be your mother but she’s not your mom. Connie is your mom.’

Nix agreed with her. ‘Yeah, she is.’

‘So don’t let that bitch cloud your mind. She’s not worth your time or your thoughts. You’re better than her. You adopted a child, and she left hers. You’re different from her.’

Nix thought about the bandits, how many she had killed. Her mother did that with random communities. They were as different as they were similar.

‘Yeah.’ Nix nodded but felt unease settle in her stomach. ‘Come on, let’s do another patrol.’

Together, the two women walked around the inner perimeter of Alexandria, checking loose panels, and for any evidence of nearby walkers. It felt almost like dull work, but they knew they had to do it. With Michonne in charge, the woman was damn determined to make sure that the community would become safe once more.

A few more walkers were taken out and then were dragged back to the pile. Nix had caught sight of Alden at the smithy. He was too consumed in his work, concentrating on blades or potential uses for the walls. Aaron had gone to visit Alden and had brought some food along with him. Nix was glad that Alden had a friend in Aaron. At least Nix didn’t have to worry about Alden not eating right.

Maybe a week or so later, Daryl and Rick returned from the Commonwealth with a caravan of Commonwealth soldiers and goods. Lance Hornsby returned with them, alongside the leader of the Commonwealth herself: Governor Pamela Milton.

‘Thoughts?’ Enid asked, looking to Nix. Aaron had nervously gone around asking people to quieten down and try and make Alexandria look more appealing. They were all eager to make a good first impression on this new leader. Nix wondered if Pamela Milton wanted to make a good impression on them too, or if she couldn’t care any less.

‘On her?’ Enid nodded, both of them looking at the vehicle Lance had exited, followed by the woman who had to be Pamela. ‘Her face is … hawkish. I don’t think she likes Lance much. I wouldn’t be surprised if she called Alexandria a dump.’

Enid snorted, nodding her head a little. ‘Do you think she dyes her hair that colour?’

Nix took a moment. ‘Probably. She seems off to me. So does Hornsby.’

Their conversation was cut short when Daryl approached them and pulled his daughter into a bone-crushing hug. They swayed together, and Nix felt the first real smile on her face appear. God, she’d missed him. It had felt like he’d been taken away, so far from her. But now he was back and was looking good.

‘You look better,’ he signed to her.

Nix nodded, pushing her hand through her hair. ‘Feel better. How are things in the Commonwealth?’

‘OK,’

Rick appeared on Daryl’s left, hobbling along on his cane. ‘He’s a cop now.’

Nix scoffed. ‘A cop?’ she asked, looking back to her father. ‘Like those guys?’ she asked, gesturing to the Commonwealth soldiers. Rick nodded; a sour look on his face as he took in the soldiers’ appearances. ‘They look like discount military,’

“Or discount Stormtroopers – Sophia said it,” Enid said, adding on the last bit before Daryl could open his mouth. “Really though? You’re a militarised cop?” she asked of Daryl, genuinely surprised.

‘The Dixons always said to not trust cops,’ Nix added, both of them teaming up on Daryl. ‘Cops are bastards is something Merle told us both. You told me it enough times too.’ Rick raised an eyebrow but kept quiet.

Daryl waved a hand at them. ‘Shut up,’ he signed half-heartedly. He looked to Rick, who nodded and turned to speak to Pamela Milton, who had been greeted by Aaron as they reunited.

She approached them and couldn’t quite hide the distaste on her face as she took in the appearance of Alexandria. She plastered a smile on her face as she got close enough. She stuck out her hand to Nix and Enid and spoke. Nix looked at Rick and her father. Nix was suddenly reminded of Erika, of the faded memories of the woman. She tried her best to ignore the memories of Silas that followed. They were both dead, and Nix was still standing.

Daryl noticed Nix looking at her. ‘She’s introducing herself,’

Pamela looked to Nix, surprised at the sudden sign language. Nix looked at her like she was waiting for her to speak slowly and exaggerated the way most people did.

‘You’re the leader of the Commonwealth? Gracing the ruins of Alexandria with your presence?’ she asked, and Enid bit back a smile as she translated, and sugar-coated it for Pamela. ‘You travelled far.’

Pamela turned to look at Enid. “And you are?”

“Enid,” she said, signing along almost subconsciously. “I’m the doctor here. Nix is one of the hunters.” The two ignored the impressed and shocked look on Pamela’s face.

“A hunter? And you’re deaf too?” Pamela asked as Enid translated.

‘It’s all I’ve done, before and after,’ she signed, glancing at her father. He and Rick were trying to hide the surprise on their faces as Pamela spoke to Nix. ‘Eugene told us about the entry methods the Commonwealth used on him and our friends,’ she signed, and Enid looked at her, and she gave her a pointed look. Enid turned and translated. ‘Is that what you do to every newcomer, some kind of … manipulative torture?’

“Oh, we’re very specific on what we ask. And we’re very thorough. Your friends certainly passed the test, and we would welcome all of you with open arms.”

Nix raised her eyebrows, clearly not buying a word that Pamela was saying. She looked to Enid. ‘Shall we go?’

Enid nodded, then turned and made some excuse for them before she pulled Nix away. ‘What the fuck?’

‘Creepy lady,’

The two shared a look and carried on walking. Nix glanced over her shoulder to see that Rick had taken control of the situation. He was presumably making an excuse, mentioning that Nix had suffered some trauma and was dealing in her own way. Maybe he was telling Pamela that Nix was slow to trust.

Nix didn’t care.

Sophia found the whole thing hilarious when Nix and Enid found her babysitting the rest of the kids. Enough so that it pushed thoughts of her absent mother aside. ‘You’re unbelievable,’ Sophia was signing, but she kept laughing. ‘You’re off to a great start with that woman.’

‘She annoys me!’ Nix replied, staring at her friend incredulously. ‘Something about her creeps me out and she’s … she’s fucking weird.’

Sophia looked to Enid, and the two laughed. Nix hated them. Of course they would find the whole thing funny.

‘Your father is a militarized cop,’ Sophia signed, changing the subject. The idea surprised them both. ‘I never would have seen that one coming. How come he doesn’t wear the Stormtrooper suit like the others?’

Nix shrugged. ‘When does he ever wear what people want him to wear?’

‘That’s true. But he’s also trying to get on the good side of the Commonwealth,’ Enid signed, adding to the conversation. ‘How else is he supposed to get inside knowledge?’

“You’ve got a point, babe,” Sophia said. “One of the many reasons why I love you.”

Nix rolled her eyes, but there was a faint smile on her face. ‘You’re both stupid – stupid and in love.’

“The best thing to be, isn’t it?” Enid asked before Sophia planted a kiss on her cheek.

‘Where did you leave Adam?’ Nix asked, looking to Sophia.

‘With Gracie,’

‘Thanks,’ Nix signed and left the two idiots to it. It took a minute or so to find Gracie, who seemed to be getting bored of Adam’s jabbering. However, Gracie was spared when Adam noticed Nix.

“Have you seen the new people?” Gracie asked once Nix had picked up Adam. She nodded, then signed ‘crazy’, and Gracie grinned. “At least they’re helping, right?’

Nix nodded and bumped fists with Gracie when she held her fist out to her. She peered out of the window and saw Rick leading Pamela throughout Alexandria and towards his house. He looked vastly different to Pamela. She had a pristine suit on, and neatly cut and styled hair. Rick had some old clothes on with several sweat stains, his beard unruly, hair needing a cut – not to mention his cane. The two leaders couldn’t look any more different.

Gracie appeared by Nix’s elbow. “Daddy said they use money from Before. Why?”

Nix shrugged a shoulder at the girl. ‘People want to live in the past. She lets them,’ Nix frowned. ‘Social hierarchy bullshit.’ When Gracie frowned, Nix spelt out the words for her. The girl nodded. Maybe Nix shouldn’t have told Gracie that; what if Aaron wanted to take her to the Commonwealth? Eh, it was too late now.

 


 

 

Nix decided to go with her father to Oceanside and Hilltop. Rick and Daryl had spoken with Pamela, who had been given the grand tour of Alexandria. They had even left supplies for the work that had to be done. Even though everyone else saw this as something hopeful, to motivate them – Nix was suspicious. Why would Pamela agree to travel so far, for her troopers to travel so far for something as small as Alexandria? The gossip had quickly spread; the Commonwealth held over fifty thousand people. It dwarfed the size of Alexandria and Oceanside. So what would Pamela Milton get in return?

Regardless, Nix wanted to see what Pamela would think of their communities and whether she would leave them in the dirt.

‘Be careful out there,’ Alden signed to her as the others prepped to leave. ‘Don’t be gone long.’

‘I’ll be back before you have the chance to miss me,’

Alden smiled. ‘Missing you already.’

She smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. She ignored how sweaty he was from the heat of the forge. She’d dealt with worse smells, and knew she was getting a little ripe too. Showers were currently a luxury most of them couldn’t afford to have.

Nix kissed Alden before she joined her father in the large convoy. She looked back to Alden, who was holding Adam in his arms. Sophia and Enid were going to be staying in Alexandria to help Michonne with keeping things running. Nix felt a little bad about leaving, but she knew it would only be for a few days at most.

There had been a small incident where Pamela had seen a walker within the walls of Alexandria. Walkers would filter through – they were distracted, and breaches would happen until the walls were up. Nix knew that Pamela wouldn’t be impressed, and Hornsby would be furious.

The plan was to journey to Oceanside first. Then to Hilltop. Nix wondered how things were going over at the Hilltop; how Maggie and Jesus were faring with their quest to rebuild the community from the ground up. Once Alexandria was rebuilt, Nix knew she, Alden and Adam would return there. It was inevitable; Hilltop was their home. It was where Nix and her original group had ended up, had made themselves a home. It was where Nix had reunited with Sophia, and where she and Alden had started their relationship. And it had been where Adam had been rescued.

The people in the wagon spoke. Daryl and Rick spoke to each other, talking about something or other. Nix didn’t bother to pay attention to them, it was probably to do with the kids back in the Commonwealth or the way the Commonwealth militarised its police force. Rick hadn’t seemed too pleased about that.

What surprised Nix the most was that the Commonwealth vehicles still had gas in them. They had to be producing their own, to be able to have so many vehicles up and running. It made the journey to Oceanside easier and faster.

Nix spotted Luke amongst the women of Oceanside. Her face split into a huge grin, and she hopped out of the wagon before she could think. Daryl and Rick tried to stop her, but they were too late. Nix ran to him, and Luke was quick to spot her. He dropped the stack of wood in his arms and ran to her. Laughter bubbled up and out of her throat, and the two wrapped their arms around each other.

Nix could feel the way that Luke laughed, how his hands rubbed at her back. It was nice and warm in Oceanside, a nice change to things back in Alexandria. She could smell the ocean air, and bits of sand had already gotten into her shoes.

‘What happened to you?’ he asked, gesturing to the scarring on her face.

‘So much,’ she signed, rolling her eyes. She felt at ease now, and things felt easy. It was like she could shrug her worries off, the nightmares and the emotions that tormented her. She’d missed Luke so goddamn much. ‘How are things here?’ she asked, looking around. She could see the others approaching, Rachel and Jules, alongside some of their colony members. ‘How are things with Jules?’ she added.

Luke tried to brush the question off, but Nix could see the way he was blushing. He changed the subject by pointing to the convoy. ‘Who are all these people?’

Nix shrugged. ‘Pamela Milton – she’s the governor of the Commonwealth,’ Nix signed, then told him what had happened with Hornsby coming to their gates, the people who had gone along to see the Commonwealth, that the rest of their original group had gone to the Commonwealth too.

‘But you didn’t,’

‘I couldn’t.’ Nix signed, but Luke raised an eyebrow at her.

‘You could now. Which means you don’t want to.’

Nix made a noise, looking back to the others. Pamela had been distracted and was sitting on a log, staring out into the vast ocean. Soldiers were pacing around, looking as ridiculous as Nix thought they were. Daryl and Rick were speaking with Rachel – who had taken over from Cyndie – whilst Hornsby stood to the sidelines of them, watching them eagerly.

‘Between Hornsby and Pamela … I think he cares more about this than she does.’ Nix admitted. She looked back at them. Milton and Hornsby were vastly different people. While Pamela seemed only mildly interested, Hornsby appeared to have thrown his whole lot in with them.

Luke nodded, pulling a face as Nix turned back to him. ‘People have their hobbies,’

Nix snorted.

It was nice being back in Oceanside, even though Nix could remember the reasons for her visit last time. Training against the Whisperers. God, how times had changed. The Whisperers were no longer a threat and only remained in their nightmares. Though they were still dealing with the wake of the Whisperers, things … looked like they were going to start improving. Nix could remember when her group had come across that little patch of the seaside. Nix could remember how tormented she had been – the thought of running away, living off the sea, but unable to because of ghosts that held her on the land. They’d been careful, barefoot in the shallows of the water once they’d killed the walkers that had hidden away in the sand. Nix remembered how she had been too scared to take her boots off, despite how sore her feet had been. It had been her and Yumiko who had kept guard. Back when there were a lot of them, not the small handful that remained now. Nix pushed the thoughts of the past aside, not wanting to remember everyone she had lost along the way to where she was now.

Besides, it was great seeing Luke once more. He and Jules were getting on well and were flirty and disgustingly sweet. Nix hoped that she and Alden (and she and Hazel way back when) weren’t so … touchy-feely. She thought about that for a moment, then scratched it out. So what if she and her partner had been like that? Or that Luke and Jules were like that? They liked each other and enjoyed the other’s company. That was what mattered.

Luke was happy and had someone to be happy with. Nix was happy for him.

‘How’s Alden and Sophia?’ he asked as Jules approached.

Whenever Nix saw Jules, she thought that the older woman was intimidated by her. Which she thought was a fair judgement call. Everyone seemed to know that Nix and Luke were close, and were the ones with the longest friendship (discounting the remaining people from the original Atlanta group). Nix thought that maybe people saw her as the angry one, who would protect Luke; perhaps not an untrue approach to the two, but it wasn’t the complete picture.

‘They’re better. Alden’s back to the smithy. Sophia is … she’s being herself.’

Luke grinned. ‘Tell Alden when we see each other next, I want to try that Night with Luke and Friends gig again.’

‘After what happened last time?’ Nix asked and was a little shocked to find herself joking about that day, that night. ‘I’ll pass on the message.’

“Thank you,”

Nix nodded, and the two looked to where Pamela was now walking beside Rachel. They seemed to be getting on well, but Nix could only wait for the other shoe to drop. Nix tried to ignore the way the Commonwealth soldiers kept moving around, wearing their weird armour, guns held to their chests. She did her best to catch up with Luke and to try and get to know Jules better. It turned out the two seemed to be quite serious for each other, which was a nice notion. Nix knew that although Luke hadn’t mentioned it, it had to be a nice change, to have a partner.

The other shoe finally dropped when Rachel declined Pamela Milton’s offer of help. The Oceanside and the Hilltop had renewed their mutual protection pact, and since Maggie had no interest in whatever Pamela and Hornsby had to offer, then Rachel and Oceanside didn’t either. Rachel’s reasoning was all well and good; Alexandria had gone on its own path before, but Maggie and the Hilltop had always been there for the Oceanside. If Maggie changed her mind, then so would Oceanside.

‘Man, he looks pissed off doesn’t he?’ Luke asked, and Nix could see the fury in Lance Hornsby’s face, masking it with worry.

‘I don’t think this is going to end well,’

Luke put a hand on her back, and Nix heaved a heavy sigh. This was going to be a long journey.

Chapter 32: No Deal

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The caravan kept trundling along the long roads to the Hilltop. Nix had bid Luke goodbye and had even offered a wave to Jules. The woman had a surprised look on her face but nervously returned it. Nix got into her wagon and found that Pamela Milton was there, talking to Rick. Nix paused in the entryway, and Rick gestured her inside. She sat as far from Pamela as she could and settled down in her spot, feeling very out of place. Daryl entered a few moments later and sat beside his daughter.

‘Things going OK?’

‘Nah,’ Daryl answered. ‘Rachel said no. Hornsby is mad with Rick and Aaron. If Maggie says no to Milton, then things might be given up.’

Nix raised an eyebrow. ‘They’ll leave?’ Daryl nodded. ‘What the fuck? Thanks, bitch,’

Daryl shoved at Nix’s shoulder when he saw her direct the last signs to Pamela. ‘Don’t be like that. You could come with us,’

‘I don’t think so.’ Nix shook her head. Her in the Commonwealth? It didn’t sound like a good mix.

‘Why not?’

Nix paused for a moment; her hands wrung together. ‘When we were living in those shit trailers … the way we were always broke, never had air-con, never had health care. I don’t want to go back to that. The end of the world sucked, but it was better than what we had before. We have friends and family. We didn’t have that before. I … it feels like if I go to the Commonwealth, then I’ll be how I was before; some deaf girl who can’t afford a damn chocolate bar, never mind hearing aids.’

‘Baby,’ Daryl signed, and Nix could see the sympathy in his eyes. It was different for him; he was one of the troopers and had been given a luxurious life in the Commonwealth. Even though Nix was his blood, she knew she wouldn’t get something nice like that. Would Alden be given a good job like Daryl had? Or would they be forced to live in poverty, raising their kid?

Nix shrugged. ‘I have a son now. That is weird too. I don’t want him to have to grow up in busted trailers, stealing from stores like I had to. Home is here, Alexandria, Hilltop or even Oceanside, or the remains of the Kingdom. I can’t take that from Adam or Alden.’ She leaned back in her seat, and a few moments later, their caravan set off, leaving Oceanside behind.

They stopped for the night once it got dark. Nix barely slept. She kept thinking about everyone back home. Alden, Adam, Sophia, and Enid. What were they doing? Part of her wished that Alden had come along with her, but she knew he would be more useful back home, making weapons, and planning construction. Would he want to go to the Commonwealth? She knew that if he really wanted to, then they’d uproot and go. Make a life for themselves the hard way if need be, as if being in Alexandria wasn’t hard enough.

Figuring she’d gotten as much rest as she could, Nix quietly stepped out of the wagon. There were soldiers up, patrolling with lights, guns still held tightly to their chests. Nix couldn’t tell what their faces looked like, hidden by visors and masks. They ignored her, or she thought they did, and she sat down on the steps of the wagon. It was still dark, and there were a few hours until the sun would rise, and they’d be on their way to the Hilltop once more.

Daryl was one of the first to wake up when the sun started to rise over the horizon. He was up and out of the wagon, and nearly trod on Nix, who had only just managed to jump out of the way.

‘How long have you been out here?’ he asked, then rubbed at his eyes. Nix shrugged a shoulder, and one of the troopers stopped and turned to them. Nix glanced between the trooper and her father. Daryl nodded to the trooper before he sat beside Nix. ‘Three hours?’

Nix shrugged. ‘I was in my head mostly.’ Mostly thinking about her boyfriend and their son, and Sophia and Enid. There wasn’t much else that Nix wanted to think about. Sometimes her mind wandered to the Reaper attack, and what that brought on. Although a month or so had passed since then, it was still hard to think about, so did her best not to.

‘We’re going to be setting off soon,’ Daryl told her, maybe reading her more than she wanted him to. She was glad that he’d dropped the whole lack of sleep thing. She nodded and got to her feet, stretching a little. Her body still ached, but it was slowly getting better. In a few months, she’d be back to normal … or as normal as she could now get.

After Pamela and Hornsby had their breakfast – and Nix had maybe a handful of food – they set off once more. The wagons trundled along in the long caravan line as the sun crawled up the sky. Lance Hornsby was talking to Aaron in one of the other wagons. Nix knew that Aaron was probably getting reamed by Hornsby. The Oceanside had to have bruised Lance’s ego and affected how Pamela thought of them.

Nix didn’t care. She didn’t like these assholes.

The caravan came to a stop, and Nix peered out of the door. There was a smaller wagon ahead of them, several people dealing with walkers. Even at the distance, Nix knew who they were. She hopped out of the wagon and pulled out her knife, walking toward her friends.

She was quick to stab the two walkers that were creeping up to the others, passing by Mercer as she went. Daryl had told her all about him, how he was the best trooper and was often Pamela’s son’s personal guard. Nix figured Mercer had to fucking hate his job. He looked like he hated his job too.

Two walkers down, Nix moved forwards as troopers turned their guns to the woods on either side of the road. The horses were cut from the wagon and were panicking as Maggie tried to get one of them to run ahead. She was corralled by two walkers, and Nix was quick to run up and help her before they could bring her down to the ground.

Maggie nodded her thanks to her before pulling her into a hug. Maggie only pulled away to look at something over Nix’s shoulder, and she followed the older woman’s gaze. Mercer, Pamela, and Aaron, alongside Rick, Daryl and some troopers had come closer. Their weapons were pointed to the ground, probably by command. Nix didn’t move her arm from behind Maggie’s back, the sudden urge to protect Maggie from them almost overwhelming.

Nix looked to the others – Jesus, Lydia, Elijah, and Dianne. All of them were covered in dirt and grime and could’ve certainly used a good shower. They were looking at the troopers and Pamela with varying states of suspicion on their faces. She looked back, and let Maggie slide out of her hold, as Pamela came to stand in front of her.

“You must be Maggie,” she said, eyes only on her.

 


 

 

They had come to a stop, allowing Maggie and the others to clean up and recover from the impromptu walker attack. Maggie was the last to be getting cleaned up. Jesus had embraced Nix in a tight hug. He hugged Rick, Daryl, and Aaron afterwards. Lydia sat beside Nix, a shy sort of look on her face. They hadn’t spoken much, and Nix knew that Lydia often felt guilty about what happened that night of the Fair.

‘How are you?’ Lydia asked, taking Nix by surprise. ‘Jesus taught me some sign.’

‘Nice. He’s a good teacher.’

Lydia nodded, and her gaze went to the others, eyes lingering on Elijah for a moment or two. Nix wasn’t sure how old Elijah was but did know that Lydia was around eighteen or so, after the long time dealing with the Whisperers, she’d grown from that shy sixteen-year-old.

‘Elijah?’ she asked teasingly, spelling his name out. Lydia’s eyes widened, and her face bloomed red underneath the dirt she hadn’t managed to clean off her face. Lydia told her to shut up. Nix rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her face.

She looked back to the others. Jesus was talking with Aaron; longing looks and lingering hands. Nix wondered when they would get their acts together. Daryl and Rick were talking together, mouths barely moving, eyes going to the others. They had to be suspicious, talking about possibilities. And then there was Maggie at the back of the wagon. Maggie looked to have calmed down considerably since Nix last saw her. The threat of the Reapers was gone, and now Maggie had a new project – rebuilding Hilltop. Maggie would be able to do it, Nix knew it. She had something about her that motivated people and got the gears turning. It appeared that Maggie getting her revenge had helped. Nix knew far too well that getting revenge didn’t appease that feeling inside. That same feeling was still haunting her, but maybe it was different for Maggie.

Maybe Nix and Alden would return to Hilltop instead. It seemed more likely than going to the Commonwealth.

Aaron went to talk to Maggie, holding some food. Daryl moved over with his own backpack, talking to the two, out of Nix’s sight. Rick hobbled over to Nix and Lydia with Jesus following him.

‘You’re a sight for sore eyes,’ Jesus told Nix, who smiled a little. ‘How are you doing, Nix?’

‘I’m alright. How are you and Aaron?’

Jesus scoffed, waving a hand at her as Lydia and Rick smiled a little. They paused their conversation when they saw Hornsby approach Aaron, Maggie, and Daryl. ‘Do you trust them?’ Jesus asked of Nix.

Nix made a face. ‘Not Hornsby or Milton,’ she answered. ‘I think some of the people are good … just not the ones we’ve met.’

‘Your dad doesn’t trust them either,’ Rick signed, and Nix was relieved at that news. At least her father still had his wits about him. She wondered if he had become one of those troopers on purpose, to get inside information. Hornsby got their attention too, and the four moved over to hear what he had to say.

The forward unit had picked up a herd, and Hornsby wanted to get on Maggie’s good side by informing her they were dealing with it … and Governor Milton wanted them to go hunting. Nix saw the way Maggie looked to Daryl, who made an expression of these people are weird, we might as well.

“Nix and Daryl are our best hunters,” Maggie said, then she looked to Nix. ‘Join me?’

With a quick look from Hornsby and back to Maggie, Nix’s mind was made up. ‘Let’s go.’

They initially went out as a group, before Pamela made a comment on how they were all stomping around and would scare away all the food.

‘Food is still pretty scarce,’ Nix signed, which Maggie and Jesus caught.

‘It’s been a while, maybe wildlife is coming back around here. You haven’t hunted here since before Hilltop fell.’

‘True. But I think rats may have been the first animals to come back. Infectious rat stew, delicious.’

Jesus pulled a face, and Nix saw the way Rick and Daryl had to hide their smiles and laughter.

“I’ll go with Maggie and the girl. You boys go pair off.”

The girl. Nix knew she’d been introduced to Pamela, that the woman knew she was deaf. Condescending dickhead. Pamela was getting herself deep in Nix’s shit list. Still, when Maggie looked at her, asking her with those pretty damn eyes … Nix didn’t object to it.

Nix trailed after the older women and was a little surprised that Mercer wasn’t going with them. His bright armour would be a huge warning to any animals they’d manage to come across, and Nix knew he was heavy-footed; she’d watched how he walked through the woods, all inexperienced and loud. She was deaf, but she knew how to spot someone who made a noise in the woods.

The three women walked for a while, quickly losing the men from the trail they were going through. There was a slight mist in the woods, and Nix was mostly looking out for walkers. There were always walkers, and with the two older women talking, she figured that they were more likely to come across walkers than any squirrels, rabbits, or deer.

It was more of a casual stroll than a hunt. Pamela and Maggie kept talking, stopping every so often to look at each other as they spoke.

‘She didn’t want to come on this tour,’ Maggie told her at one point as they trekked through the woods.

Nix managed to read a few words off Pamela’s mouth, but it required a lot of concentration. There was something about the right allies, that the world didn’t belong to the dead. One of the things Pamela said bothered Nix a little – that their stories confirmed to her that a natural order to things had vanished. While Nix agreed with it a little, she couldn’t help but think that Pamela thought how they traded and didn’t use money was one of those things. Pamela’s life was so very different to anyone’s life in Alexandria, Oceanside or even the Hilltop. They hadn’t held onto ghosts of the past, keeping money and social hierarchies.

Nix wondered when was the last time Pamela had spoken to someone she thought was lesser than her? She knew that Rick was always there, helping anyone whenever he could, helping with rebuilds or babysitting if need be. Would Pamela do something like that? Get her hands dirty in that fashion, in the name of keeping the community safe and tight? To make it feel welcoming?

Nix knew more or less everyone’s names at this point, and she knew they knew hers. Everyone knew everyone and trusted each other. With the sheer size of the Commonwealth, Nix knew that that wasn’t physically possible for them.

Although small, the three communities were strong together. They worked well together and fought and died by each other’s side. Would any of Pamela’s people do the same? Or would they flee and turn on each other? Nix knew for a fact that those troopers, militarized cops, they could turn so easily on the people if it meant they got what they wanted. Which was simply another reason as to why she didn’t want to go to the Commonwealth. One wrong move and a cop could get away with hurting or killing her or someone she loved.

Pamela tried to offer Maggie something, and Nix saw the Oceanside being mentioned, the mutual protection pact. Nix narrowed her eyes at Pamela. How could this woman offer something like that protection pact? Pamela turned and walked onwards. Nix looked to Maggie, then raised her eyebrow.

‘What do you think?’ Maggie asked.

‘I think she doesn’t understand the world.’

After maybe an hour or so of walking, failing at spotting any game, the three came to a stop and settled on a fallen tree. Nix sat on the edge, with Maggie by her side, talking to Pamela. Nix looked to them occasionally, and they said words that Nix had never even heard of before. Maggie said something about an “autocracy”, which Nix knew she’d have to get her to explain to her later.

“I lead the way I was taught by Deanna, Rick … and Georgie. The communities that we built are fair.” Maggie said, signing along as best she could when she noticed Nix watching them.

“The Commonwealth is fair,” Pamela said clearly. Nix couldn’t help but scoff and internally cursed when Pamela looked to her. Maggie was already in action, pulling out a tattered notebook and pen. Nix took it and thanked Maggie, finding a clean page. The other pages were filled up with writing that looked like someone was practising – Lydia was still learning how to read and write.

 

What makes you think the CW is fair?

 

Nix held it out to Pamela who frowned when she read the words. “Go on?”

 

Why should you drive a nicer car, live in
a nicer house and have nicer things? If
I were to live in the CW, I wouldn’t have
those types of things. That isn’t fair. It
would all come down to everything
from Before, which doesn’t matter to
us. We all have the same house, have
the same meals, and we all work
together in a way that everyone
is included and can do their part. What
is your part? Becoming an autocrat?
Leading the people without knowing
what they’ve been through? How they
could be suffering under your hand?

 

Nix tore the page out and handed it to Pamela without looking at her and continued to write.

 

With Rick Grimes leading us, we know that
he has our backs. I know he will care for me
and look out for me, despite my deafness or
the fact I took in a child. He treats me the same
as anyone else in the community, and we will
always see him up and about, doing his part,
getting dirty, talking to people who think they
aren’t worth his time, when he knows they’re
worth so much more.

 

Pamela raised an eyebrow. “I have more responsibilities than the average worker.”

OK, so Nix hated this woman. Rick, with his bad leg and old age, still went out of his way to do things for people. He organised everything for them, listened to his council, and treated people like they were his equals. Pamela didn’t see anyone else as her equal, and that only solidified Nix’s dislike of her and the Commonwealth. How did she have more responsibilities than the average worker? Those who worked themselves to the bone and tried to make ends meet, tried to put food on the table. Nix knew that Pamela would’ve never been able to survive the things they’d been through.

 

Rick has more responsibilities, but he treats
us all the same. Equity, equality. Your people
aren’t treated equally if you have more than
they do, more niceties.

 

Nix got to her feet, handing the notebook back to Maggie, who had already caught on. She knew Nix was angry. ‘Say what you want that will help you sleep at night, but if you don’t treat people like they’re your equal, then you’re going to reap what you sow. Things were shit before, with bills having to be paid, people living without healthcare. Somehow the end of the world benefitted us. We’re on fresh ground, and you’re trying to dig up corpses.’

Maggie reached out and touched her hand. ‘I know. That’s why I won’t agree.’

‘Thank you. I’m going to go, is that OK with you?’

Maggie nodded. ‘I can handle myself. Thanks for coming with me.’

Nix smiled. Maggie was certainly better off now that the Reapers weren’t consuming her. ‘No problem.’

She walked off without a backwards glance. She assumed that Maggie would sugarcoat what Nix had signed. Nix took out a walker that appeared. She kept on walking after that.

 


 

 

Nix managed to snag a few pheasants and a couple of rabbits as she returned to Hilltop. There were soldiers setting up camp outside of the walls. They paid her no mind as they continued setting everything up. There were two or three smaller tents, but the main one, the big white one, took up the width of the gravel stone path to Hilltop. Nix settled on a tree stump inside of the Hilltop and began her work with the rabbits and pheasants. Lydia came and sat with her, plucking the pheasants with her for a while as Nix skinned and gutted the rabbits. Nix liked the young girl, and more often than not felt a little bad for her. But Lydia seemed to be settling in well and was starting to be a key part of the Hilltop colony.

When Maggie returned, Nix, Lydia, Elijah, and Dianne went out to greet her.

“Hey. They meant everything they said,” Dianne said to Maggie as they got closer. Dianne continued talking, maybe about the troopers. From what Nix had seen inside, the troopers had brought a fair amount of goods that they could use to rebuild the Hilltop. They were already working on reinforcing the water tower.

“Nix came back with some too. You went hunting with them,”

Maggie looked to the few pheasants she had managed to catch too. Elijah reached over for them, mouth moving as he spoke to Maggie. Dianne said something else, and she and Elijah moved off, presumably to get dinner started. Maggie and Lydia spoke for a little bit more before Lydia went to hug Daryl and help him with the tents.

Maggie turned around after a second or two, and Nix frowned and looked to where she was. Hornsby had started talking to her. Nix frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, watching Hornsby continue to talk. Out of the corner of her eye, Nix could see Maggie eyeing the man up, expression unchanging. After a moment or two, Maggie nodded. Hornsby turned to look at Daryl and a trooper and said something to them and then they followed after Hornsby.

Hershel was wearing Mercer’s helmet, and Nix thought the boy looked adorable. She caught sight of the smile on Mercer’s face. Maybe he wasn’t such an asshole either. They all started to pass out food, and Hershel joined Nix and Maggie. They stopped by the small campfire, and Nix stood by Lydia as Maggie introduced her son to Pamela and Hornsby.

‘Would you go to the Commonwealth?’ Lydia asked Nix, doing the same abbreviation for the Commonwealth, simply signing a C and W. They were stood to the side, watching Maggie, Lance and Pamela talking. They occasionally glanced back to Daryl and Mercer who were talking together, leaning against the car.

Nix shrugged a shoulder a little. ‘Not really. I don’t trust them,’ she signed, gesturing to Hornsby and Pamela. ‘Why? Are you thinking of going?’

‘Maybe. Your dad likes it a little. Rosita and everyone are still there, so they must like it,’ Lydia signed, careful with her use of sign, trying to be as accurate as she could.

‘They must. It’s … the people who have come to us, they’re the ones I don’t trust.’

‘I get it.’ Lydia signed, then sighed. “But we have to give it a chance, right? You guys gave me a chance. There are so many people there, there have to be a few good ones too,”

‘I know. I have some trust issues,’ Nix signed, and put a smile on her face, trying to seem lighter and happier than what she was feeling. Lydia looked at her, eyes reading her almost as well as her father.

“We all have our issues,”

Nix nodded, and then pulled Lydia into her side. ‘Shall we get dinner ready?’ she asked. Lydia nodded, and the two set off and went into the Hilltop.

Elijah and Dianne were setting the food up, cooking it all. Jesus was beside them, talking about something or other, his hand covering his mouth.

‘It’s good seeing you again,’ Dianne signed to Nix.

‘You too,’ she replied, then looked to Elijah. ‘How’s your leg?’

‘Better,’ he signed, thankful to her. ‘You got a lot of food,’

Nix raised an eyebrow. A lot? It would be scarce, feeding everyone. But the Commonwealth had distributed some of their own food to them.

‘Hornsby is getting the others to give us food here,’ she told them. ‘Not that I trust him all that much.’

Jesus gave her one of his unimpressed looks. ‘Like father like daughter.’

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead shoved at Jesus’ arm lightly as they prepared to dish out the food to the Hilltoppers.

‘How are Alden and the others?’ Jesus asked as he and Nix settled down at one of the benches.

‘Alright. Alden’s better. Sophia is back to normal. Enid is busy in the infirmary. Sophia babysits sometimes for us.’

Jesus nodded. Nix looked at his face. It was a pretty one, and he still managed to have a nice beard and his hair was tied atop his head. His eyes – a startling seafoam green – were kind as they watched Nix. He knew she was keeping things to herself, hadn’t mentioned things that were bothering her.

‘What’s it like here? Barrington doesn’t look … habitable yet.’

Jesus heaved a sigh and didn’t mention the change, Nix’s refusal to talk about things. ‘It’s a bit of a struggle. Maggie keeps us motivated and strong. We’re sleeping in tents for now. Barrington still stands, it just … needs to be thoroughly cleaned out. It needs some loving and a fresh coat of paint and wallpaper.’

‘Just a bit of loving and a facelift.’

She smiled when Jesus laughed. Nix liked him, he was a good man, and she knew he was doing everything he could in his power to help keep things running, to keep everyone going. Nix turned her sights onto Barrington. There were burn marks, missing bricks, windows boarded up and more. It definitely needed some loving and a facelift. None of them knew how long it would take, but Nix knew they’d get it done. One rebuild at a time.

Maggie went and sat on the steps of Barrington, and Nix thought back to one of the first nights she had in Barrington when Lydia had been taken back by Alpha. Daryl and Sophia, alongside Connie, had gone to find her and Henry. Nix had sat on the steps and smoked until Alden came and offered company. That was probably the first time the two had spoken to each other.

Hilltop was a staple in Nix’s life, held fond memories, brought relationships into fruition, and it had held family. She wanted that back.

She turned away and resumed eating when Lance Hornsby went up to talk to Maggie. The sun was still relatively high in the sky. Maybe she’d be back in Alexandria by the time the sun had set. She didn’t care what Hornsby or Pamela had to think about the communities. They would get through it somehow. Even if the Commonwealth ditched them, well, they knew where the Commonwealth was if it came down to it. They would power through and rebuild, use, and do what they could to get it done. It was only a matter of time.

‘Would you ever go to the Commonwealth?’ Nix asked. ‘I wouldn’t. Lydia might want to. What about you?’

Jesus took a bite of his rabbit and chewed on it for a long while. ‘No. I don’t think I’d go, not while everything is as it is right now. Maybe just to see what they all do over there, but I like things as they are here.’

‘What, not having to get a job and pay bills?’

‘Sure. It’s something I don’t miss from before. I like the … the closeness we have in our communities, this colony. We know each other, trust each other, and everything feels right. My home is here, with these people, within these walls. I’ve been here since almost the start. It would feel wrong to leave it behind before it’s been rebuilt, or even after.’

Nix smiled a little. ‘I think I feel the same. I’ve thought about it, but every time I think of giving the Commonwealth a chance … I just think of all the negative things I’ve seen. Or how I’ve interpreted what people have said.’ She shrugged a little and finished off her plate. ‘At least we’re not going to starve to death anymore.’

‘There is that.’

The two shared a smile. Nix figured she missed Jesus, all his wisdom, witty comebacks, and pleasant presence. He was nice, kind, and something that Nix had never experienced before.

But she knew that she could never go to the Commonwealth. In her heart, she knew she wouldn’t fit in there, no matter what someone else would say. Maybe she’d try, just to see how badly she’d stick out like a sore thumb. There was potential for the communities to establish trade roots. They could make the wasteland safe again, getting rid of the dead, making train routes or something similar. Maybe if it was someone else who had approached them, and not Hornsby, then it could be possible. The people who had come to them, they tried their best, but after all these years, the masks they wore were easy to see through.

When Nix looked back up at Jesus, the easy-going expression had vanished.

‘Herd,’ he signed to her. The two scrambled up from their seats and went to the gates of Hilltop. They were joined by Maggie, Elijah, Lydia, and Dianne. God, how many walkers had they dealt with since returning to the Hilltop?

Still, they moved well. They followed Maggie’s lead, toward the sickos. Nix kept her bow on her back, using her knives instead. Maggie was the one to kill the first walker, and everyone else in their group followed her lead. Aware of each other, they cleaved their way through the small herd, stabbing or bludgeoning the heads of the sickos.

They ran forwards, towards the next wave, and Nix saw there were more than anticipated. A slightly bigger herd. No matter.

Jesus was by Nix’s side, a constant in her eyesight. They stabbed and slashed, taking out the walkers at the perimeter edge that often signalled the dead. Barely a few seconds had passed before Nix saw a flash of orange, and then Jesus pulled her to the side as bullets shot through the dead and splintered off the trees.

At least they hadn’t been fucking shot. Did they not think of how they could’ve killed them? The spray of bullets, shrapnel or a ricochet could’ve hit them.

‘Assholes,’ Nix signed, feeling annoyed. The dead were no longer a problem.

As they returned to the Hilltop once more, Dianne spoke to the others. She mostly talked about how they wouldn’t have to deal with that every time the alarm went off. It would be nice, Nix could admit, but it would set her on edge. How someone could miss a walker and how the dominoes would fall from that. She didn’t trust the troopers – the only ones she trusted were her own father and Rosita – since they didn’t keep Nix at ease.

Lydia and Dianne admitted that it would’ve been nice to have some quiet time, no constant starting or stopping – they felt that they needed the help from the Commonwealth. Nix knew that they did. She knew she was a stubborn asshole at times, but she knew when to take a helping hand. If things didn’t go as planned, they could split off from the Commonwealth. Attempt to repay in some shape or form, such as the crops that Hilltop had when it was fully functioning.

Daryl and Elijah were dragging corpses to the side as Nix and the others passed, probably to be burned later. She slowed her pace and turned to watch the troopers as Maggie came to a stop beside her. Mercer shouted something to them, and they fell into line. It took her father a little longer, saying something as he continued to help Elijah. From the look on Mercer’s face, he wasn’t impressed. God, her father always defied the law, even after the end of the world.

There was a faint smile on her face, but when she looked back at Maggie, the look on the older woman’s face had Nix’s smile vanishing. The two looked at each other for a second or two.

‘Do what you think is right,’ Nix signed to her and could see Pamela talking to her troopers in the back, like she was commanding them. This wasn’t her place to command or deal out authority. It had to be run by Maggie, and Nix knew that.

‘Everything costs something. Thank you,’ Maggie signed. The two resumed watching Mercer, who had gone over to talk to Daryl. Mercer didn’t look impressed as he spoke. Daryl shrugged it off, much like Nix thought he would. The soldiers started to march on, and Daryl followed at the end of the line.

‘What the fuck?’ Nix signed, and her father gave her a quick look. When she looked back at Maggie, it seemed that action had only solidified her decisions.

She was going to say no to the offer. Pamela Milton and Lance Hornsby hadn’t been able to persuade Maggie. Nix stayed in her spot, as Maggie left to walk over to Pamela and Lance. Aaron and Rick were with them, standing to the side. From the distance, Nix thought Aaron looked a little worried. Nix leaned against the Jeep she was standing next to and watched the scene play out.

Their postures showed their surprise, and Nix knew that Maggie had just pissed off Lance Hornsby. Maybe the guy would realise he couldn’t try and sweet talk his way into everything. Nix couldn’t see Pamela but figured she was asking why, to know what had gone wrong.

Nix didn’t care. In time, she would be living in the Hilltop, helping rebuild it like she and the others were back in Alexandria. They’d figure something out, without using any help or supplies from the Commonwealth. Maggie walked between them and made her way back up into the walls of Hilltop. Nix looked down at her knives, bloodstained and dirty. At least she’d been able to take out a few walkers, so the trip wasn’t entirely pointless. And she got to spend some time with her father and even Rick and Luke.

The troopers were quick to pack up everything, even their own tents that they’d set up. A few of the Hilltoppers had decided to go, one of the main ones being Dianne. Nix understood her reasons; she couldn’t deal with it anymore, the constant fight against the dead, the hardships of rebuilding Hilltop. All Nix could do was hope that Dianne would be happy in the Commonwealth.

Lance vanished for a few minutes before he returned with Aaron.

The large convoy left Hilltop after brief goodbyes.

By sunset, they had returned to Alexandria. The troopers checked in with Mercer as Alden and several others came rushing up to them. Nix beamed at Alden, and he swept her up in his arms, pulling her off her feet. She managed to wrap her arms around him and pressed her face against his neck, feeling very much at home. It was good to be back, and she missed Alden and the others.

When Alden finally set Nix down on her feet once more, she saw that Gracie was hugging her father, the two of them talking quickly. Sophia was hugging Daryl, and Rick was speaking to Enid.

‘Missed me?’ she asked. Alden nodded, looking a little breathless. Nix kissed him, glad that she was back home. ‘Hilltop looks better than I thought it would,’ she signed once they finally pulled away from each other. ‘Oceanside and Hilltop passed on the offer.’

“Fuck,”

‘Yeah,’ she signed, nodding her head a little. ‘How has everything been here?’

‘Alright. Busy as usual. Things are going well.’

Nix’s Reaper mother popped into her head like an intrusive thought. She’d only told Sophia. She hadn’t even told Alden yet. ‘I need to tell you something later. When they’re gone.’

Frowning a little, Alden nodded and didn’t push her on it.

An hour and a half later, Pamela and most of her people left. There were troopers left behind to help with perimeter watches and safety. They would help with the rebuild still, but things seemed a little tense. Aaron, Rick, and Daryl left once more, and Aaron decided to take Gracie with him to the Commonwealth.

‘I’ll see you later?’ Gracie signed, slightly unsure of the motions.

Nix nodded. ‘Remember what I told you?’

Gracie smiled a little nervously. “Social hierarchy bullshit!”

Alden gasped a little before he started laughing. Gracie put her hands over her face, and Nix could see the redness in her cheeks. “Don’t let your father hear you say that Gracie,” Alden said to her.

‘Enjoy yourself, but keep your eyes peeled,’

Gracie saluted her before wrapping her arms around Nix’s middle. A little surprised, Nix hugged the girl back before she ran off to ride with her dad.

‘What did you want to tell me?’ Alden asked once they made it to their home. Sun set, Adam cared for and out for the night, Nix and Alden had settled down on their bed.

Nix almost burst into tears but managed to compose herself. So she told him about her mother being with the Reapers, the pain she’d felt during the Reaper attack, the worry and fear that had almost consumed her. How desperate she had been during the bandit incident, the desperation in her as she fought and killed to get back to Alden and Sophia. She told him about Enid checking her with an ultrasound, and then asking if they could do a pelvic exam. Nix had to calm herself down and slowly get it out that she’d miscarried, and he’d been right about her being pregnant, that the torture she had endured with the bandits had caused her to miscarry. He knew about it, she’d snapped at him about it at one point, but saying it now, it made it real. This was something they could have had, didn’t know that they’d wanted.

But now she was letting herself feel all those emotions she’d hidden away. It was only Alden who would ever get to see those emotions, for Nix to express herself in the comfort of their room.

The guilt in Alden’s face had Nix crying, which set Alden off too. They wrapped themselves around each other, finally feeling all the loss and pain together. Nix, who had been trying so hard to ignore her emotions for near enough a month, finally felt it all. So much had happened over those few days, and Nix had done her best to bury them. She’d done her best to make it seem like she hadn’t cared but it had been dragging her down. With the knowledge of her mother, it hadn’t helped either.

Now Alden knew, and that was one more person than before. He was one of the most important people in her life, and she had finally gotten herself to spill all those ugly truths to him. Nix could feel the way her face felt too hot, the tears tracking down her face, the gasping breaths she had. But Alden was doing the same, holding her as tightly as she held him.

She could feel him speaking into her shoulder, the soft vibrations of his voice against her skin.

After a long while of mostly holding each other and crying, the two started to compose themselves. Bloodshot eyes and runny noses, they’d finally managed to get a hold of their emotions.

Alden put his hands on her face, wiping the tears from her face. Nix did the same, a weak laugh escaping her. Nix’s hands were shaking too hard to try and sign, but Alden knew her very well. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and pulled her into his lap. They stayed bundled up in bed, shaky breaths maybe the only sound. Nix held one of his hands, holding it close to her mouth.

Alden had a certain way of grounding Nix, the warmth from his body, his scent, and his way with words. Nix knew that she had others – her father, and friends, but they weren’t there with her, off in the Land Before Time. It was hard to talk to Sophia about those things since she wasn’t likely to ever get pregnant, and the same went for Enid. Besides, Enid was essentially her doctor, and she wasn’t exactly a self-taught therapist to deal with all the bullshit Nix had gone through. Maybe if Connie was there, or even Magna, then maybe she could talk to them. But they weren’t, and Nix was twenty-four, goddammit, she had to act like an adult and be strong.

But she could let her defences go down when she was with Alden, and feel safe and content with Alden by her side.

It took a long while before Nix went to sleep.

Notes:

I hope everyone reading this has enjoyed Silence so far, and are excited for what's to come. I've got some good news - the AU I mentioned months ago has finally been finished and posted! I'm happy with how it turned out and would love to hear what you all think of it!

Chapter 33: Return to the Hilltop

Notes:

OK, so as a heads up, there is a sex scene between Nix and Alden. It's a bit explicit, to a state that I was comfortable writing, but if you're uncomfortable with that kind of thing, it ends before the first line break, so is pretty close to the beginning of the chapter.

Chapter Text

‘Are we off?’ Nix asked, shouldering her backpack. Things in Alexandria were going well. The walls were up and safe. People were happier. Things were getting better. It was time for them to go back home. A long enough passage of time had occurred. The weeks had turned to a few steady months since Nix had last seen her father, and she wondered how everything was going in the Commonwealth. It was probably about time for Nix to go back to the Hilltop; Nix missed all those idiots back there, even Maggie, who she was slowly warming up to once more. Hilltop was home, and Nix wanted to get away from Alexandria; it felt tainted after the suicide run they’d gone on.

Alden nodded and leaned over to kiss Nix’s temple, hand touching her back briefly. ‘Let’s go,’

They were finally returning to Hilltop to help with the rebuild. At long last. Part of Nix was excited, and the other part was nervous. They had a lot ahead of them – rebuilding the place, making it secure. There was no easy path there, no help from the Commonwealth. Just them and what they had on them. Nix knew that they could make it work. They had to. Maggie would rally them up in a way only she could.

Bare minimal personal belongings secured, Nix, Alden and Adam climbed into the small wagon. Ever since Hilltop had been burnt to the ground, Nix and Alden didn’t own much. Not that it mattered, they had each other and Adam. Sophia and Enid wouldn’t be joining them just yet, instead would come once Enid was confident in Alex’s abilities without her in Alexandria. Enid was still needed for any medical attention, and since Rosita had gone to the Commonwealth, Alex and Enid were the only remaining doctors. Sophia wouldn’t go without Enid, not after they almost lost her. Nix didn’t blame her.

The two women were still seeing them off. It was the little moments that counted, and they needed all of the little ones they could get. Nix was going to miss them both until they came and joined them at Hilltop.

‘Stay safe.’ Sophia signed as Enid said something to Alden. Alden was blushing, muttering something in reply to Enid.

‘You too,’ Nix replied. The two shared a brief smile before Alden nudged her. She clicked her tongue, shook the reins, and the horse set off on a steady walk. The gates of Alexandria shut behind them, and it felt somewhat final.

Nix leaned back into her seat. The wagon that they were using had been converted from a car. Their luggage was in the back seat, and Nix and Alden were in the front. Alden was holding Adam, who was wide awake and impatient. He bounced up and down in Alden’s arms before Alden put him in the back with their bags. There were only a few bags there, and most of it was supplies for Adam – clothes, toys, bedding, and diapers. They were in the process of potty-training Adam, which Nix thought was disgusting since the boy would give up and run around with his lower half completely naked. It took a lot of persuasion to get him back into his diaper and little jeans afterwards.

The trip to Hilltop was slow but steady, at a pace they felt OK with. They’d have to stop before it got dark since they knew they wouldn’t get there within the day, not unless they planned on killing the horse in the process. The two had planned it out, who would take which watch at night, when they’d change over and who would clear walkers if needed. It was just the two of them and Adam. It still surprised Nix that she had her own little family. Her past self couldn’t have ever imagined something like this.

She had a boyfriend – would he end up her husband? – and a son. It was shocking to her sometimes. How far she’d come, able to be at ease with someone and allow herself to become a mother to a boy. Nix thought back to the early years, when she’d been scared, alone, and terrified. Back then, it had all been about surviving to the next day. It had felt close to that at times with the Whisperers, but she could risk thinking forwards, more than a day’s future. Maybe months, or even years if she dared. Thinking about the future years, she couldn’t imagine it without Alden by her side. He’d quickly become a fixture in her life, as had her father and friends once they’d reunited. There’d been times where it had been Hazel in that place, and it scared Nix senseless knowing that Alden could leave her just as quickly as Hazel had.

She forced those thoughts away. She couldn’t think about Alden dying, not until it happened, and neither of them knew when that reality would set in.

It was a quiet trip, easy and calm. There weren’t that many walkers around, and the ones that were around were easily left in the dust. They took a break after several hours, to give the horse a break more than anything. Nix took the time to go on a hunt while the horse had a break. She caught a couple of squirrels and was quick to make her way back to the wagon. She saw Adam in the back, playing with some toys as Alden fed the horse.

He didn’t notice her at the edge of the treeline. Alden was too busy talking to the horse and petting it. Figuring he was distracted; Nix made her footsteps loud as she made her way over to him. Alden looked to her, and his face burst into a large smile when he saw her. She couldn’t stop her own smile gracing her face and rolled her eyes. She made her way over to him, feeling overly fond of him.

‘Good hunting?’ he asked, and Nix held up the few squirrels she’d scored. Alden’s smile brightened, and he pulled her close to him. She laughed a little as he kissed her cheek, and then blew a raspberry there. Nix could only continue to laugh when Alden proceeded to kiss down her neck until he got to her collarbone.

‘You’re ridiculous,’ she signed when he finally let her go. Nix climbed up into the seat in the wagon and set the squirrels down. She twisted in her seat and looked to Adam. His mouth made a motion, and Nix smiled a little. Sweet little boy. He continued to babble at her, grabbing at one of his toys and waving it around in front of him. He paused, looked at it, then Nix, and then held it out for her. She smiled at the little boy and took it, signing her thanks to him. Her heart swelled when he mimicked the sign back to her.

When Alden got back in, he had the horse continue walking. Nix busied herself with the squirrels until the meat was ready to be cooked. They stopped again, for the day, and settled in one of the few way stations that had been set up. The sun was starting to set, and they knew better than to risk going to another way station further along the way.

The way station was a simple building that had been made before the Whisperers returned. It was big enough for the three of them, and the horse and wagon. It would do. Nix settled outside, using a spit to cook the meat before she took the meat inside, stomping out the fire under the spit. Adam took his meal when Nix held it out to him, and he chewed open-mouthed. Alden pulled a face of disgust, watching Adam making a mess. Nix sighed a little before she ate her own squirrel meat.

Babies and toddlers were gross. Adam was still in that gross stage. Candles were soon lit, and Adam was settled in the wagon for the night. Nix had been careful to bundle him up in the spare blankets. There was a mattress on the floor that Nix and Alden would use. Nix rubbed her thumb over the back of Adam’s hand, watching as he slowly fell into a slumber. Once he was out for the night, Nix turned around and stretched. She caught sight of Alden watching her from his spot on the mattress, a fond look on his face.

Nix pulled off the outer layers of her clothes and stretched. God, she was getting old with all these aches and pains. It had also been getting cooler recently and knew that she would be turning twenty-five soon. Twenty-five. God, how was she still alive? Nix pulled her shoes off, the thoughts of age and ageing at the back of her mind. She made her way over to Alden and leaned down and kissed him.

Alden pulled her further down and let her sit in his lap. She could feel the way he smiled as she pulled off his jacket, throwing it aside. She put her hands on his cheeks, fingers splayed across his beard and down onto his neck. For a long while, the two simply touched each other, hands wandering, fingers light against their skin, kissing softly and slowly. His beard scratched at her cheeks, her chin and occasionally her lips. She had gotten used to it and had grown to enjoy the feeling. Alden put a hand down on the mattress, leaning back. Nix smiled into the kisses, and then let Alden move them both until Nix was laid down on the mattress. Feeling him on top of her was nice, able to feel at the strong muscles in his shoulders, in his back. He kissed at every inch of her face, taking his time. Nix returned the gesture, kissing up his throat, his mouth, cheeks, nose, and forehead. Her fingers went through his hair, and she gently tugged on it, which had Alden gasping against her skin. She loved his hair, how it curled, the way he’d use gel in it to style and tame the curls.

She pulled away from him when a thought came to the forefront of her mind. ‘How many people do you think fucked on this thing?’ she asked him.

“Nix,” he said, laughing as he rested his forehead against hers. Nix laughed a little too, and then ran her fingers over his cheek. He kissed her again, and the thoughts quickly vanished in her mind as all she could think about was please don’t let Adam wake up. Nix’s hands went to his chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Alden helped her remove it, and Nix kissed at his exposed collarbone.

His hands went to the hem of her shirt, and they both pulled it off, lifting off the mattress to throw it away. Nix looked up at him, back pressing into the mattress as she looked up at him. Alden paused, and let Nix reach out and touch the thick scarring on his abdomen. He placed a hand over hers when it shook. She still felt bad about that, how badly she’d sewn his wounds up. The scars wouldn’t fade so easy, would leave jarring marks on his skin. Alden took her hand and pulled it up to his mouth and kissed her fingers. She touched at the corner of his mouth, catching at the beard hair.

Nix smiled, then pulled him down closer to her. Alden kissed the corner of her mouth before she kissed him, soft and slow. Her hands went from his shoulders and down to his chest, fingernails just grazing the scars. She didn’t stop there, didn’t want to let her thoughts ruin it, so her hands continued on, down to the waistband of Alden’s jeans. Alden gasped into her mouth before they were both pushing their jeans off and discarding them on the wooden floor. Both of them were excited and giddy, it felt like it never got old, the intimacy and sheer love.

Nix gasped and felt a moan in her throat. Alden kissed her, both of them breathing a little heavier. They started to move together, and Alden kissed Nix’s neck, hot kisses pressed into her skin. His hand went over the scarring on her thighs from those bandits, the thinly sliced cuts, the thick one that she’d sewn shut. She leaned into his touch, felt him shudder at her movement. Nix felt his hand graze her stomach before he was pulling his boxers off, and Nix was quick to get rid of her underwear. She put a hand in his hair, the other on his back. Alden had moved an arm under her head, his other hand pressing into the mattress to brace himself.

Alden kissed her, breathing heavily when he entered her. Nix shut her eyes tightly, breath coming in sharp. She felt the way Alden knocked his head against hers gently, silently asking if she was OK. She nodded and kissed him, noses bumping together. The two moved together, gasping quietly, moans in the back of their throats. Alden had rhythm, and he was slowly driving Nix insane in the best way. His head was tucked away in the juncture between her neck and shoulder, gasping and kissing at her skin.

They kept moving together, muffling the sounds they were making, laughing together quietly. Nix loved him. She loved when he’d touch her and how he’d hold her. She loved it when they’d have sex too, just so intimate and close and just them. She understood why people referred to it as making love.

Alden’s mouth was back on hers, breath hot and heavy. Nix shut her eyes and enjoyed herself, holding onto him. Her legs were on his hips, arms holding him close. She could feel his heavy breaths against her skin as he started to move faster. Nix moved with him. The two carried on well into the night.

 


 

 

Nix was a light sleeper. From nightmares, the isolation she’d endured for a year, and the whole ordeal with the Whisperers, she was woken at the simplest thing. The thing that woke her this morning was the light of dawn peeking through the windows. She grimaced at the light, putting a hand over her face, grasping at the thin linen covering her body, threadbare and useless against the cold. Oh, to have a few more minutes of sleep.

After a moment, Nix sat up and pulled her clothes back on. She felt a little sore, but for the first time in a while, it was the good kind of sore. She looked around; the wagon was still there, and the horse was sitting peacefully on the ground in its little stable. Alden was nowhere to be found. She stretched her limbs and clambered to her feet. Taking hold of her weapons and securing them, she went over to the wagon. Adam wasn’t there, so he had to be with Alden, outside somewhere. Nix ran her hands through her hair, trying to make it less messy. It was dirty and stuck out all over. Maybe she’d cut it too short. She didn’t care all that much.

Nix made her way out of the way station and searched the immediate surroundings. It didn’t take her long to find Alden and Adam. Alden had the boy on his shoulders, and the kid was pointing out into the forest. Nix dragged her feet a little, and then Alden turned around to look at her. Adam clapped his hands when he noticed Nix there. Adam held his hands out to her, and she took him from Alden’s shoulders. Alden had to bend his knees a little so Nix could get the young boy.

‘Food!’ Adam signed excitedly. A basic sign that he could understand easily.

‘Food,’ Nix repeated. They had some spare squirrel meat that Nix had smoked and cured, so they could eat it. She was quick to feed Adam in the way station, changing his clothes as Alden dealt with the horse and took it outside with the wagon. Once Adam was fed, and Nix had a quick bite and left some for Alden to have, she made her way outside. Then Adam filled his diaper.

She grimaced and then held Adam out at arms’ reach, trying very hard not to gag at the disgusting smell. Rotting blood and guts she could handle, but a shit-filled diaper? No way.

Alden laughed at her good naturedly before he took Adam out of Nix’s hands.

“You’re awful,” he said, then turned to Adam and started his baby talking with him in that creepy baby voice Kelly told Nix about. Nix kept her distance, standing by the horse, as Alden changed the diaper. She watched as he spoke to Adam, chatting away as he threw the diaper away and fixed Adam up with a fresh one. They’d have to be more determined with potty training.

Adam back in pants – much to his dismay – the three set off once more. They’d get there before midday if they were lucky and if the walkers were few and far between. Alden put Adam in the back seat once more and made sure he was distracted with his toys and picture books before he turned his attention onto the road ahead of them. Nix had the reins of the horse once more, watching out for the dead.

Alden put his hand on her thigh, and she glanced down at it. She pressed her lips together, barely holding back a smile as she glanced over at him. He flashed a brilliant smile at her, and she laughed quietly, and reached down and took hold of his hand. They continued on for a long while, holding hands and keeping an eye on Adam.

After a few hours, Alden shifted and looked to Adam and spoke to him. Nix didn’t pay attention but caught the signs for ‘mother’ and ‘Hilltop’, among a few others. He’d pointed to Nix before signing ‘mother’, which still made her feel weird. She was a mom. It was still such an odd concept. It was going to take a while before she got used to the idea, much less the reality of it.

The sun was well into the sky before they finally made it to the Hilltop. Nix was nothing short of relieved to see the walls of Hilltop had been repaired already. Things were looking up.

The two adults looked up at the gates, where the guys on watch would be. When they were close enough, Nix realised it was Marco and Elijah. Marco reacted first, pumping his fist in the air, and probably cheering. Beside her, Alden grinned and whistled at him. The gates opened and Nix steered the wagon in. The horse came to a stop inside, and Nix, Alden and Adam got out. Alden was holding Adam, careful of him.

Marco came down from the watch post, grinning from ear to ear, and was quick to pull Alden into a tight hug. The others approached, and Jesus was the first to get there, hugging Nix.

‘Good to see you,’ he signed, smiling.

‘You too. How is everything here?’ she asked as Maggie approached. Lydia was with her.

Jesus nodded, looking around. ‘It’s a work in progress,’

Nix laughed a little and glanced over to Alden and Marco. The two were talking with smiles on their faces. She looked back to Maggie and Lydia. ‘You’ve got room, don’t you?’

‘More than enough for you three,’ Maggie signed, a bright smile on her face. Nix felt a small smile on her own face, and then Maggie pulled her into a hug. It was still a little odd when Maggie hugged her. After years of being apart, and the strenuous few months once she’d returned … it was a lot.

Maggie pulled away from her and looked happy to see Nix there. Nix offered a hug to Lydia, who accepted with a bright smile on her face.

‘You look better,’ Lydia signed, gesturing to Nix’s face. Nix nodded and shrugged a shoulder. Wounds were healed, but her night terrors were still consistent.

‘Feel better,’ Nix lied. It was better than telling people the truth time and time again. They were all struggling, but they were slowly going to get better. Nix just didn’t feel better, even if she knew it was a possibility.

They chatted amongst each other before Jesus led them away to get settled into their own tent. There were small temporary shelters inside Hilltop. The big house, Barrington, was too dangerous to stay in. Everything was burned and smelled of smoke and fires. They needed to make sure the structures weren’t going to collapse before they rebuilt and remade all the rooms.

Once they were settled in, it felt right. Lydia offered to take care of Adam whilst Nix took up duty on the watch post. Nix shrugged it off, getting a papoose to carry Adam in. Alden went and did his best in repairing the smithy, making plans, and figuring out what was needed to set up shop once more. It already felt like things were going to go back to how they used to be. They could build their homes, secure their colony, and make it a safe haven.

Nix spent several long hours on the watch post. She was relieved by Kim, one of the former Wardens under Maggie’s hand. Nix went and got some food, sitting by Alden as Maggie spoke to the small group that had formed around her. They were planning long distance runs, trying to figure out where to scavenge where they already hadn’t. They needed more successful hunts, as well as materials needed for the rebuild.

‘I’ve got a list of all the things I need so far,’ Alden signed automatically. He looked up at Maggie when she didn’t speak, and then verbalised it. ‘We can figure it out from there, what’s the most necessary to have, what can be put off until later.’

Maggie nodded, looking between Alden and Nix before she looked down at her meal. Nix frowned, then looked to Alden. He looked as confused as she was. Elijah, Lydia, Jesus, and Marco were also looking confused, not sure why Maggie stopped the conversation. Nix saw the way Jesus was side-eyeing Maggie, and she knew he was going to try his best to get to the bottom of it. Nix doubted that she wanted to know. For all she knew, Maggie could’ve had the hots for Alden and kept it secret. Even if that unlikelihood was a reality, it didn’t scare her or intimidate her.

‘Can I hold him?’ Lydia asked, gesturing to Adam, effectively distracting Nix. Nix nodded and pulled the toddler out of the papoose and handed him over. She pulled the carrier off while she was at it, then tucked into the venison.

‘You’ll be going hunting, won’t you?’ Marco asked of Nix as the others steadily resumed the verbal conversation. Nix nodded. ‘Think you could teach me some pointers?’

Nix shrugged before she nodded. ‘Trying to impress someone?’ she asked, a light teasing to her face and signs.

‘Fuck off,’ he replied, but couldn’t stop the smile from forming on his face. ‘You’re terrible,’

‘You missed me,’

Marco rolled his eyes, then made a comment in Alden’s direction. Whatever he said, it had Alden laughing as he pulled Nix closer into his side, and she could feel him laughing. He pointed at Marco, and Nix only watched as he put up the front of being offended. His mouth moved fast, a quick retort or clap back. Alden leaned forwards and presumably said something. Nix let herself relax into his side, hands going over his forearm as she glanced between him and Marco.

The small group disbanded after half an hour, on Maggie’s command. She wanted them well-rested and ready for what the next day was going to bring them. Lydia gave Adam back to Alden, who walked off to get the boy settled in for the night.

‘You two look happy,’ Lydia signed, stopping Nix in her tracks. ‘I’m … I’m glad you get to have this.’

Nix looked at her for a moment. ‘Thank you. Are you OK?’

Lydia nodded, but she kept biting at her lip and shifted her weight from foot to foot. ‘I was thinking about going to the Commonwealth,’ she admitted. ‘I like it here … but I’m tired of having to get by day to day when I don’t have to.’

‘I get it,’ Nix signed. It was tempting to go, mostly to be with her friends and family. But Nix did not trust Pamela or any of her subordinates. ‘You’ve gotta do what will make you happy. Though I like seeing you around here, you’re the one in control of your life.’

‘Thank you,’ she signed, then hugged Nix. She hugged the younger girl, resting her head atop hers.

 


 

 

The days turned into steady weeks at Hilltop. Things were slow with rebuilding, but they had supplies to last them. Walkers were a continuous problem, and someone always had to be holding Adam or distracting him. He was young and didn’t understand the walkers, and if he was exposed to them too young, then he’d be too terrified to leave the gates.

So Nix dealt with walkers, went hunting for food when she could, and helped Elijah with his bow. They were relying on bows more often, so Nix was kept busy making bows. She could extract sinew from the deer she’d catch for the bowstring. She crafted arrows, varying in lengths to best match the people around her. Deer were few and far between, and when she found one, it took days of tracking before she could get it and take it back to the Hilltop.

When she’d hand out the arrows to the right people, they’d thank her and be eager to try them out. It made her feel part of the community once more. Jesus would spend time with her, and sometimes they’d train when they had the time to spare or the safety. Nix handled the things she dealt with and felt like she was juggling being a mother, being a hunter and being herself at all times.

Alden was busy too. He’d do the best he could with the blacksmith area and would take a few people out to scout areas and bring back metal and other such goods. It would help with the rebuild, but they all knew that they needed food and sleep more than anything.

Sometimes people forgot that Nix was observant. Nix knew she was, it was one of the reasons why she was a good hunter; she could see things others couldn’t, follow a scene and predict how it would end. She knew how to read facial expressions and body language. It was how she managed to survive for as long as she had and knew when to fight or retreat.

Maggie was one of the people that sometimes forgot Nix was observant. Nix wasn’t entirely sure what Maggie was doing, but she had a good idea as to what it could be. Although Nix was thankful to the woman for letting them come in, to find a home in the Hilltop, she had her suspicions. Maggie tended to drift towards Alden and the smithy area in general when she wasn’t busy. At first, Nix thought nothing of it. The two had been friends for longer than Nix had been around, she figured they were just catching up.

But over those days that turned to weeks at the Hilltop, Nix noticed Maggie going to Alden more and more often. So Nix confronted Alden one night.

The two were retiring for the night. Now that Barrington was moderately safe to inhabit, more people were migrating into it. Nix and Alden weren’t one of those people just yet.

‘What’s wrong with Maggie?’ she asked once she’d pulled her boots off. Alden had discarded his jacket and looked confused at the question. ‘She’s … she’s overly fond of you,’ she signed when Alden didn’t move.

The realisation dawned on him. ‘I think I know. I thought it had ended ages since,’ Alden admitted. He came and sat beside her and told her what it all meant, and what it meant now. What he told her made sense, and his feelings and stance on it now. It left Nix confident and at ease.

‘How come you never mentioned it before?’ she asked once he’d finished. She took hold of his hand, kissing at the tips of his fingers.

Alden shrugged a shoulder. ‘When you and the others came, it … was pushed to the side. And then you were on my mind all the time. We got closer, and now you’re my girl.’

‘Your girl?’ Nix asked, a smile spreading across her face. Alden grinned at her, letting her pull him down. Nix laid on their makeshift bed and put her arms around Alden.

“My girl. I don’t have a ring to give you to be my wife.”

Nix felt like her brain came to a full stop, mouth half-open as she stared at him, stuck on that last word. Alden realised what he’d said, and then panic settled into his face. Nix put her hands over her mouth as Alden groaned and laid down beside her, hand over his eyes. Nix put her legs over his and reached over to take his hand from his face.

“Sorry. That just came out,” he said, signing along with one hand.

Nix was lost for words, feeling very fond of Alden. A beautiful, silly fool who loved her wholeheartedly. The man who would hold her when she asked, kept her grounded and made her laugh. The man who knew his beard tickled and scratched when he kissed her and would rub it against her skin to make her laugh. Alden, who knew when it was and wasn’t OK to touch or kiss her neck and would cut her hair for her if it touched the skin there. Alden, who had cried with her when she had that miscarriage and cared for her so damn much.

Alden, who Nix absolutely loved and adored.

‘So you’ve been thinking about it?’ she asked, a teasing smile on her face as Alden began to blush a brilliant shade of red.

Alden nodded, and another wave of fondness and affection flooded Nix. She got to her knees and gently pushed him down so his back was to the ground. She put her hands on his face and kissed him softly and slowly. His hand went to her hip, resting there.

She pulled away from him a little, fingers going to his hair, threading through it gently. It was curling up again, now he no longer used any gel. Nix liked it.

‘Do you imagine yourself as my husband?’ she asked. Alden nodded, fingers grazing over the skin on her hip. ‘As you should.’

Alden laughed and pulled her down and kissed her. “I’ll make you a ring,” he promised. “I don’t know what with, but I’ll make one,”

Nix grinned at him. ‘I’ll find one for you,’

Were they joking? She couldn’t tell. Either way, it was a nice sentiment to talk about. It reminded Nix of Hazel, how they’d talked about it, and how Hazel had given her a ring just before her death. The ring was still on Nix’s necklace, around her neck.

Alden knew too, and his fingers went to touch at the necklace. He pressed it to his lips. “One to join this.”

‘Make it from scraps. No silver to be had.’

Alden nodded. ‘It’ll be grey. You can find a grey one anywhere.’

‘I don’t even know what size yours would be.’

Alden shrugged a shoulder. ‘I don’t know yours either. We can figure it out. I’m sure there’s a jewellery store we can raid,’

Nix nodded, laughing quietly. ‘Sounds like a date.’

“I’ll write it in the calendar.”

 


 

 

Nix looked to Lydia. ‘Are you sure you want to go?’

She nodded, fingers grasping at the bag straps. “Yeah. I don’t want to have to live like this. My mom,” she stopped talking, but Nix already got the point. She’d lived so rough for years, and there was the possibility of a nicer life. Not that Nix trusted what Pamela offered.

Troopers had left behind maps to the nearest Commonwealth checkpoints. It was mostly for people who changed their minds. Maggie wouldn’t force her people to stay, not if they didn’t want to. The choice was theirs, and the woman respected it. Though Nix wondered how Maggie felt, now that Lydia, someone she had quickly grown close to, had decided to go and give the Commonwealth a try.

‘You do what’s right for you,’ Nix told her. ‘What’s right for you won’t be the same for everyone else. So long as you’re safe, and not in danger, I don’t see why you shouldn’t go.’

Lydia smiled, that awkward, nervous smile that she had. It always reminded Nix that the poor girl had barely ever been treated nicely. The kid deserved something nice, and Nix knew what it was like to have a shit time of it.

She pulled Lydia into a hug, a warm embrace. ‘Be safe,’ she signed to her. Lydia nodded and returned the signs before she went towards the gates. Marco and Elijah were atop the posts, taking out walkers that came through the overgrown grass. When they had the time, they’d cut the grass and remake the farmland that had been there when Nix first arrived.

She sat against a tree stump, giving herself a minute. Her back was aching, the constant bending over and pouring herself into her work was giving her all sorts of aches and pains. What she needed was a massage – or a chiropractor. Nix watched as Lydia approached the gates, and she spoke with Elijah. Nix didn’t know how old he was, maybe around her age. Lydia was eighteen, having her birthday not so long ago in the last month or two.

From what she could see, Marco was enjoying seeing his friend struggle with his feelings and was presumably giving him terrible advice once Lydia had gone through the gates.

The mood changed very quickly when a dying rider came up to the gates of Hilltop.

Nix, alongside Marco, Elijah and one of the other perimeter guards went out to Lydia and the rider. He was covered in blood on his left side and looked very close to dying. Nix and Marco kept to each other’s side, eyeing the treeline, trying to spot anyone who was going to try and attack.

The rider pulled out a bloodied map, saying something to Lydia. He died mere seconds after. Lydia looked to them, desperation on her face. Nix shook her head. The guy was gone, barely older than Lydia.

‘Map,’ Nix signed, and Lydia handed it over before stopping the guy from reanimating. The pages were starting to stick together from the man’s blood, so she carefully pried it open. Someone had circled an area named Riverbend, and blood was covering both ends of the map. Nix looked to Marco, who was looking at it over her shoulder.

“We should go, shouldn’t we?”

Nix wasn’t sure. The guy had died to get it to them and had gotten hurt in the process. All Nix could think was who could have shot him? A few names came to mind – Lance Hornsby, Leah Shaw. But why would either of them do that to begin with? Maybe Lance would do it to try and hide how corrupt he was, but would the man get down and dirty? Allow blood on his hands? Maybe if he was desperate. Nix thought about Leah, her godforsaken mother. How many lives had that woman taken before the apocalypse, never mind after? Both of them would have their reasons, but Nix didn’t know why.

Which would make her go nuts if she didn’t find out soon.

‘I will, even if Maggie won’t,’ she told Marco, who nodded.

Maggie was inside of Barrington, which was where they went. Elijah and the perimeter guard took the body away. Once inside, Nix handed over the map to Maggie, who laid it out on the table. Nix watched her, arms crossed over her chest, as the woman surveyed the map.

Elijah and Alden entered after a few minutes, holding Adam. Elijah went to stand beside Lydia as Alden leaned against the wall beside Nix. He had soot on his nose and a fresh burn on his arm that Adam kept slapping at odd intervals.

‘Rider?’

‘Had a map,’ she told him. The two looked back to Maggie in time for her to speak.

“We’re not going,”

Marco looked at her incredulously, telling her he’d died begging for their help. Maggie claimed that she understood, but they were barely holding on as it was.

‘Someone we know could have sent him,’ Nix signed, and Alden voiced it when Maggie looked to her. ‘Could be someone we know from the Commonwealth or that woman you know.’

“Or it could be a trap,” Maggie said clearly. “We go to help and leave the Hilltop open to attack.”

Lydia started talking, and Nix looked to Alden. ‘She says it wasn’t a trick, he wasn’t lying. Maggie says we can’t go up against another group to fight them because we don’t have enough people.’ He stopped, watching as Elijah and Maggie kept talking, almost bickering back and forth. Alden looked to Nix. ‘I know you’ll go, regardless of whether Maggie says you can or not.’

She flashed him a smile. ‘You know me so well.’

He looked to the others. ‘We’re barely holding on, and it sounds like these people are too. Lydia told her they’re the type of people her mom would target. She won’t let it happen to someone else. Lydia wants to help them then go to the Commonwealth.’

Lydia had stopped talking, and she left with Elijah. Nix, Alden, and Marco followed after.

‘What’s the plan?’ Nix asked. Alden verbalised it, and Lydia looked around in surprise. ‘What? I’m gonna go too.’

Lydia looked to Alden, who still intimidated her after all these months. Nix could remember how cold he’d been towards the girl when they’d ventured through the storm. But he seemed better now and wasn’t going to bite her head off.

“Plan. Uh, we go, check it out, and help.”

Nix had to stop herself from pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing. What a mom act that would be. ‘We take turns driving, save our strength. Scope out the area when we get close enough and don’t use the car within half a mile, so we won’t alert threats. See if our people are in danger, and rescue them. If it’s people we don’t know, we wait it out and see which side is the bad one.’

“I like your plan better,” Lydia said, and Nix couldn’t help the laugh that came from her.

They put supplies that they could spare in the truck, and Nix secured the last of it with Lydia. They, alongside Alden and Elijah were going to check it out. Marco and Jesus would stay behind, be in charge and keep a perimeter check going near constantly. He would also be taking care of Adam for Nix and Alden until they returned. The little boy seemed to understand that they’d go and hugged them as tightly as his small arms would let him.

Maggie came walking towards them, a bag on her back. She said something to Elijah, who brightened up and nodded. A few seconds after, Hershel came jogging up to his mother, asking her something. Nix looked to Alden, and she jerked her head towards the boy.

‘What?’

‘He’ll sneak in,’ she signed to him. ‘Make him feel important – drop Adam on him.’

Alden snorted, but a smile graced his face before he turned towards the two Rhees. Once Maggie let her son go from a tight hug, Alden spoke to the boy. Hershel kept nodding, saying words that Nix couldn’t read from his mouth. She flashed him a smile and waved before she got into the truck.

Chapter 34: Riverbend Massacre

Chapter Text

Alden was dozing in the back with Nix. She was stuck in the middle seat, Elijah on her other side, in and out of sleep. Nix leaned against Alden, and his head lolled to rest atop hers. His hand was in hers, holding on loosely. She couldn’t really sleep. There were five of them in the truck, and it trundled on, bumping them into each other.

In the front, Maggie was driving, looking to Lydia on occasion. She was talking to her, and Nix didn’t try to lip-read her. It was an exhausting thing, and she wanted to save her energy. It would do better to try and get a nap, but the movement of the truck kept her awake. How Alden managed to sleep was beyond her.

Elijah was watching Maggie and Lydia as they spoke. No-one translated, Elijah didn’t know enough, Lydia was captured in Maggie’s story, and Maggie herself was driving. On and on they drove. Nix thought about what they were doing at the Hilltop: just getting by. It was exhaustive, just getting by. She felt like it was a task that they didn’t have to go through. But being indebted to the Commonwealth didn’t sit right with Nix, and it certainly didn’t sit right with Maggie. They could get by for a little longer. Things would get better. Or they wouldn’t, and they’d have to figure out their next move.

Nix noticed Lydia was fighting back tears. “I just want things to be the same every day,” she said and turned away to look out of her window. Maggie spoke, looking into the rear-view mirror to look at them.

“Do we agree,” Elijah said when he saw Nix’s confused face. He looked back to Maggie, giving his answer.

And then Lydia was shouting, pointing past the windshield. Maggie slammed on the brakes, and Nix braced herself against Lydia’s seat, her other arm going out to catch Alden before he slammed his face into Maggie’s headrest. He collided with her arm and was quick to stop himself from falling forwards once the truck came to a stop.

Nix looked up, breathing picked up as she felt the adrenaline spiking. There, in the road, were three walkers. But they weren’t just walkers. They were Commonwealth soldiers. What the fuck had happened?

The five of them got out of the truck, weapons raised as they approached the dead. They were quick to finish them, ending their quick turn. Nix knelt down beside one and pulled off the mask. There was a deep slash across the neck, the blade that gave the injury having torn through the protective layers the soldier had worn.

She got to her feet and looked to the other dead soldiers. ‘Cut through the neck guard, shots in the gaps between the armour. This was strategy. Someone knew what they were doing.’

‘Look,’ Alden signed, and Nix turned to look up the road. Someone was approaching. She looked back to the others. ‘Aaron.’

That didn’t make sense. Aaron was supposed to be in the Commonwealth, not out with dead soldiers. Whatever happened, it had to have been bad. Aaron ran to them, sweat staining his clothes. He looked exhausted and dirty. Shit evidently went sideways, and Nix distrusted the Commonwealth and all the ringleaders from it.

Aaron came to a stop in front of them, panting hard. Alden was quick to give him his canteen, speaking to him, concerned. Aaron nodded, waving a hand when Maggie looked worried, trying to talk to him. Once Aaron had drunk his fill of the water, he began talking. Alden starting to sign to keep Nix in the loop.

‘A man from the Commonwealth wanted him and Gabriel to help him on a mission to talk to people,’ Alden started, looking between Aaron and Nix. He wasn’t as good at translating on the fly like Sophia was, but it was a skill he was eager to learn. ‘The man, Toby, he led them to be emissaries for the Commonwealth. There was a religious group of settlers in a building complex. They gave them MREs and had to hand over their weapons to gain entry. Aaron and Gabriel thought the troopers would go in, but they were told to hang back. Their leader thought they were cannibals, and they soon got the chance to leave.’

Nix looked to Aaron, whose expression had grown sombre. She looked back to Alden, who continued on. ‘Toby shot the leader of the religious group. He interrogated the leader, asking where some guns and cargo were located, but the guy said he didn’t know,’

‘Was he bullshitting?’

‘Aaron doesn’t know,’ Alden signed. ‘They handcuffed Gabriel when he attacked Toby. One of the guys ran off, and Aaron killed the trooper who shot the guy escaping – the kid who came to our gates this morning. Toby was going to kill Aaron, but his gun was empty. Aaron ran, and here we are.’

‘Fuck,’ Nix signed.

She looked to Aaron, finishing his story. “He was a wolf, just like their leader said.”

Maggie asked him about the stolen shipment, and whether Toby had been lying about it. Aaron didn’t know.

‘Why does the Commonwealth want all those guns?’ Nix asked.

‘Nothing good,’ Alden signed as Maggie asked the question herself. Maggie pulled out the map, and Nix saw the confused surprise on Aaron’s face as Maggie opened it up and held it out.

“This the best way in?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah. Where’d you get that?” Aaron asked. Nix looked to Alden, confused. If Aaron hadn’t given the kid the map, who the fuck did? Maggie told him how the rider came to Hilltop on it. None of them knew who could have given the kid the map.

‘It could’ve been Gabriel,’ Lydia suggested, spelling out the man’s name.

‘Yeah, but how could he have gotten loose in time?’ Nix asked. ‘I think someone we know is in there with the guys in Riverbend.’

They all frowned. “Who?” Aaron asked.

Nix shrugged, not sure. Who the hell could be there? All of their people were either in their communities or at the Commonwealth.

Unless it wasn’t someone from those communities.

“Fuck,” Nix said and signed, hand going to her mouth. Eyes wide, she looked to Alden. The others turned to look at her, but she had eyes on Alden ‘Negan.’

“Negan?” he asked, eyebrows raised. ‘Are you sure?’

‘He left, didn’t he? Who knows where he went, because he’s not at Alexandria or Hilltop, and certainly isn’t in the Commonwealth or Oceanside,’

Alden looked to the others. Maggie’s face had steeled, silent anger in her face at the mention of the man who’d murdered her husband. ‘It makes sense.’

Maggie scoffed. “No, it doesn’t. That man only looks out for himself. He doesn’t care for any of us.”

‘You don’t know that. Not anymore. He killed Alpha for us. Saved Judith in a winter storm. He was the first one to act when I came back with Enid. Hell, he started to learn ASL. He might be different now, but the Negan you know is still there in him. You don’t know him now.’

Maggie scowled at Nix, shaking her head. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, was the old saying. Hell came nowhere close to a furious demon like Maggie Rhee.

Alden put his arm out, trying to keep the peace. “We don’t know if he is there, or maybe had been there. We need to help these people and get Gabriel back. Fuck the Commonwealth, we need to save our guy and the ones the Commonwealth are fucking over.”

His words seemed to get through to Maggie, which Nix didn’t find all surprising, considering what she’d learnt of the woman. Together, the group made a plan, as quick as they could and to the efficiency they had with other such enemies. Sneak in, get Gabriel, and save any people of Riverbend. Kill any Commonwealth troopers because fuck those guys and fuck their leader.

They took the truck, and it was cramped with Aaron in the back with them.

“Plan still stands with what we had before,” Lydia said from her spot in the middle seat. Aaron and Maggie were in the front, and the other four were in the back. Nix was in Alden’s lap, to make sure there was enough room, but it was still cramped. Alden’s arms were around her, keeping her secure in his lap. Nix nodded to Lydia. “Strength is saved, we won’t use the car within half a mile. Our people are in danger, and people we don’t know are too. It just … it turns out the Commonwealth is the bad side. And our people still live in their walls.”

‘We’ll figure it out. We always do.’

“Your dad, Connie and the others,”

‘They’re all smart. Connie used to be a journalist Before. She’ll figure it out, and alert all our guys. Print papers for the press, usurp Pamela. My dad could rally troops, Rick can motivate the people. Pamela is very different to the people; the rug will come out from under her sooner or later. Plus her son is an asshole, from what we’ve heard.’

Lydia nodded, a small smile on her face. Alden’s hand squeezed at her hip, and she looked back to him. The two shared a look, almost reading the other’s thoughts. The Commonwealth was corrupt, to an extent they didn’t know. How many people were in the blind about it inside of the huge community? How many weren’t?

If there was a fight to come, just how many soldiers did the Commonwealth have? Maybe more than enough to overpower the communities under Maggie, Rick, and Rachel’s hands. They had to be smart about it. If they weren’t careful, shit could go sideways, and they’d end up dead.

 


 

 

Sneaking into the building was far easier than Nix expected. The troopers really did suck at their jobs, unable to see scouts or sneaks. Their group made it in through the east entrance easily, without alerting anyone of their presence. The trooper standing guard there hadn’t even heard them sneak in and didn’t know what was going to happen. Nix had moved first, taking the trooper out. He never saw it coming. The second one didn’t either.

Alden and Elijah moved to stand beside her, and they dragged him down into the hallway. Elijah took his gun whilst Maggie took the radio that had stayed in his hand. She turned it off and took her gun from its holster. Nix copied her, glad that they had enough ammunition to use guns again. They made their way up the stairwell in which they had killed the trooper. Aaron shut the door behind them as they crept up the stairs.

The group followed Maggie, and Alden kept Nix posted when needed. So far, they could hear screaming in the distance, but Alden and the others couldn’t pinpoint it just yet. There was distant gunfire too. It sounded like they were going to the slaughter.

They went through the floors, clearing out corridors and rooms. Maggie led them to another floor and moved over past a corridor. Nix and Lydia were there, guns up and ready. Aaron had walked past and kept his gun up trained so that Maggie’s back was covered. Elijah and Alden were behind Nix and Lydia.

Maggie gave the signal, and Nix and Lydia went down the corridor on their left. They went through rooms, searching for any sign of life. Room after room was empty. The people had to be hiding somewhere, but Nix sure as hell didn’t know where. Unless they were rats in the walls – which gave Nix one hell of an idea.

Nix cleared a room with Alden behind her. She stopped and looked at him. ‘The rooms are all going to be empty,’ she signed to him. He made a face of agreement, then inclined his head. ‘So we shouldn’t be searching rooms.’

‘We should be searching the walls,’ Alden signed, clocking on to what Nix was getting at. Guns raised, the two searched the walls, hands going over the flaking paint and destroyed wallpaper. The two came to a stop at a closet. There were clothes, a thick amount of them. It got Nix thinking. She barely had a few sets of clothes, and all the rooms had been repurposed into bedrooms, and they had their own spaces for clothes.

‘Here,’ Nix signed. She looked out of the window and could just see someone on the roof. Gunfire was still consistent, and people were still screaming, not that she could hear either. Alden copied her movements, peering through the window. Nix looked back to the closet. Too many clothes. Gun partially lowered, she stepped towards it. Her hand reached out and pushed them back.

Then the end of a gun was pointed at her. She let her gun fall against her abdomen, hands going up. The woman holding the gun was short, and had shoulder-length curly black hair, black skin, and dark eyes. The woman gestured with her gun, and Nix walked backwards. The woman grabbed her and put the gun to her back, using her as a shield.

They came around a corner, and Alden raised his gun. He paused in his movements, his eyes wide. The woman had to be talking, not that Nix could hear her. All she was focusing on was making sure her body wasn’t shaking too much. She was not going to die to this after everything she’d been through. The woman kept a firm grip on Nix’s shoulder, using her as a shield. She kept moving her, from foot to foot, most likely so Alden couldn’t try and shoot her.  She didn’t know what to do.

And then Nix could see Lydia come into her peripheral vision. She stayed still; the gun was still pressed into her back. She figured that one of their own had a gun to the woman, or maybe it was Elijah with one of his kamas. Maggie appeared beside Lydia, talking. She looked like she was trying to deescalate the situation.

“We’re here to help. The woman you’ve got there. She’s deaf. Whatever you want to get her to do, she’s not gonna understand you.”

Whatever was going to be said next didn’t matter. The others turned to look beyond Nix, and she dared to look. Lo and behold, Negan was standing there. Nix moved, getting out of the woman’s hold and raised her gun at her. Negan walked into the room, calm and collected. He walked around them into the room. He spoke to them, completely unfazed by the scene in front of him. Nix didn’t know what else she expected of the man.

Nix waited, not lowering her gun until the others did so. Alden was right by her side, a twist to his features. He wasn’t fond of Negan after everything he’d done with the Saviors and what he’d done on the near suicide trip to Meridian. Nix’s arm pressed against Alden’s, and he relaxed minutely.

“Hey kiddo,” Negan said to Lydia. He had a smile on his face, glad to see her. Nix doubted anyone else in their party was glad to see him, except maybe the woman who’d put the gun on Nix. Negan moved over to the woman, a hand going to her back. “We live here.”

Nix eyed the two up for a moment. When the hell did Negan get a girlfriend? It didn’t matter. The others were talking – probably about Gabriel – and then Negan and the woman were leading them through the hidden hole Nix knew was behind the clothes. Who the hell owned that much clothing nowadays?

They went through the gap, and Nix paused by the entrance, looking at the ground. Boot prints were in the dust. Before the woman could put the clothes back, Nix blew the dust, until the prints disappeared. She didn’t want anyone to know they were there. She was not going to be hunted like an animal.

She moved back and the woman put the clothes back. She eyed Nix up before saying something. Nix pointed to her ears, and then followed after the others. Did people not understand what the word deaf meant?

Negan was leading the others further in, but Alden had stayed behind, waiting on Nix until they were joining the others. Inside the hideout, there were several inhabitants. Nix wondered how the hell they didn’t all just go insane. Gabriel was sitting on a couch, hands clasped together on his legs. He jumped up at the sight of them, relieved to see them and glad they were still alive. He had to have thought that maybe Aaron had been killed. He hugged Maggie and then Aaron.

Maggie jumped into asking questions – whether they had hijacked the convoy Toby was so bothered about. Aaron backed Maggie, asking for confirmation. Negan backed his girlfriend up, and Nix could sense an argument about to start.

‘It doesn’t matter who stole them. All that does matter, is that asshole thinks they did. They’re gonna keep killing them all until they run out of bodies to throw off the roof. We’re better off working together and killing those assholes and then finding those guns ourselves.’

“Why should we find them ourselves?” Negan asked, gesturing to her. Nix forgot to answer for a moment when she caught sight of the band on his ring finger. So the woman wasn’t his girlfriend, instead his wife. How many supposed wives had this man had during the end of the world?

Nix scowled at him. ‘So that when the Commonwealth decides to fucking massacre us, we stand a fighting chance at surviving.’

Negan frowned, then looked to Alden, who stiffly translated. Negan moved off to the side to talk to Nix and Alden whilst Maggie and the woman talked up a plan. There were still people in the building who needed to be found.

‘Commonwealth?’ Negan asked.

‘Those troopers are from the Commonwealth. I don’t like them.’

“We’re in the same boat on that one, Nix.”

She smirked at him. ‘Married, huh?’ she asked instead.

Negan looked down at the ring on his finger and twisted it around, a fond look on his face. He nodded. “Yeah. I … I have a good one in Annie.”

Well, at least Nix now had a name for the woman.

Annie went away with Maggie to check the rest of the floors. Annie knew the building the best, and Maggie was seen as a potential threat. Nix and Alden, alongside the rest of the others, were to stay behind. Nix leaned against the wall, and Alden stood beside her. Aaron and the others were just in front of them, talking.

Lydia said something about the Commonwealth. “They just want to swallow up other communities. They’re like the Whisperers, they just wear different masks.” At least the girl was learning. Looks could be deceiving and all.

Then Negan was holding the walkie to his mouth, talking. Nix looked out of the window, peeking through the blinds. She grabbed hold of Alden’s arm as Negan came over.

“Shit,” he said.

Negan looked at her, both of them cursing the damn boy. He’d gotten caught.

 


 

 

Nix had been prepared to have a shootout, to start a damn war with the troopers. It turned out she didn’t have to. Negan had been quick to stop the trooper from hurting Hershel Rhee. It was too late in the fact that the trooper alerted the leader of Hershel’s presence, of the truck on the perimeter. But Negan had killed him. Had taken a damn crowbar to the back of the man’s skull.

Nix forgot about the trooper, and all she could see was what she envisioned of Negan killing Glenn. She turned to Hershel and pulled him up from where he’d been seated. He moved with her, but his eyes wouldn’t move from Negan as he beat the man’s head in, a serious sharp blow that killed him and stopped any risk of reanimation.

Hershel put his arms around Nix’s middle, and she pressed her hand in between his shoulder blades. She knew she couldn’t make him look away, and she knew what was going on in his young mind. Nix looked down at him, wondering just how many times this kid had imagined how his father had died, and what the man looked like. Hershel gripped at Nix’s t-shirt, and she wouldn’t dare push him away. She held him steadily and met Negan’s eye when he turned and looked at them.

‘Tell Maggie,’ she signed to him before leading Hershel to the hidden hole, to the bedroom inside it. She eyed him up before she sat him on the bed and sat opposite him.

“He killed my dad,” Hershel said, realisation in his eyes. Nix nodded. Hershel looked to her, eyes narrowed. “Did you know him?”

‘A little,’ Nix signed. She glanced to the doorway, where Alden was, ready to translate. ‘I knew him at the start. He got me hearing aids. He was really nice. You look a lot like him. His eyes, hair, skin colour … cheeky smile.’ Nix reached out and managed to tickle him a little, eliciting that smile. ‘There it is.’

“I wish I could've met him,” Hershel said after a moment. “Negan … he really killed him, didn’t he?” Nix really wished it wasn’t her having to talk to Hershel about it. “My mom always said a bad man killed him.”

‘I wasn’t there,’ Nix signed, figuring that was the best way to start it. She wasn’t there, she didn’t know how it had happened, and didn’t know just how brutally Glenn had been killed. She’d been told, but what were mere words instead of the images of what had gone down? A horrific night too traumatising for words.

“But you know.”

‘Yeah. I know.’ She sighed. ‘You should hear it from your mom –’

“Or the man himself.” Hershel stood up, and his face contorted into an angry glare that belonged to his mother. Nix followed Hershel’s gaze, and Negan was in the doorway, standing beside Alden. Nix got to her feet, not too sure what to do. Negan came into the room and took Nix’s spot in front of Hershel. She stood, leaning against the wall, still in the room, just past the coat hooks. Negan was alright, an asshole true, but Nix only knew him from years after the Saviors had been active. She knew him as the different man, the one who was no longer burning people’s faces, collected wives or had a baseball bat he named Lucille.

Nix watched as Negan spoke to Hershel. They kept a quiet, easy conversation going. Nix couldn’t tell what the topic was, and Alden was watching them with narrowed eyes, waiting.

And then Hershel cocked his gun and pointed it at Negan. Hershel Rhee, a generous mix of both his parents, was holding his father’s murderer at gunpoint. Nix made to move, but Alden stopped her.

‘Wait it out,’ he signed. Nix looked back to the young boy. The gun looked so damn big in his hands. His hands were shaking, and Nix wondered who the fuck thought to give the kid a gun so damn big. He kept talking, a calm expression on his face. Negan sat down and started talking. It looked like genuine sincerity and sorrow on his face.

Alden kept a hand outstretched to the others, to stop them from trying to do anything stupid. All they could do was watch and wait for Hershel’s decision. The seconds dragged by and continued on as Negan spoke calmly to Hershel. The young boy glanced to the doorway, where the Riverbend residents were standing, unsure of what to do.

Hershel lowered his gun but kept the hatred in his eyes. Nix approached him and took the gun from him, clicking the safety on. Once Nix took the gun, Hershel ran out of the room. Nix waited for a second and saw Negan’s composure start to break. That was more than enough for now. Nix moved off the wall and Alden went out to the others, and Nix followed after him. The two found Hershel, who didn’t argue when they settled on either side of him. Nix put her arm around him and let him lean into her, fingers grasping at her t-shirt once more. She looked to Alden, whose eyes were on Hershel, a flurry of emotions in his features.

The minutes passed steadily. Time was a funny thing. She was anxious, waiting for things to go sideways. She needed to be out there, to do something. She was sick of waiting around. After what she had done with the bandits after the Reapers, after everything before coming to the Hilltop … she was capable. These troopers were shit.

The walkie came to life in Aaron’s hand. He spoke into it. Then Elijah was moving, and Alden took hold of Nix’s hand and led her away as Lydia went to Hershel.

‘What’s the plan?’

‘You and Elijah are the quietest ones. We don’t know how many people will be on the roof. You use the fire escape and take out the troopers up top.’ Alden signed. He looked worried, and Nix knew he didn’t want her to go up there. He couldn’t stop her, and they both knew that. Nix was good at sneaking up on people, and her taking out all those bandits proved she was good enough to take out those stupid-looking troopers. ‘Aaron and Gabriel are going to bring those assholes to you.’

‘I’ll be OK,’ she signed to him. She put a hand on his face, eyes on his. It was almost like they could read the other’s mind. Alden nodded, and let Nix go, following Elijah, who was quick to don his mask and other ninja gear.

They were quick and quiet. They didn’t know each other well but understood how well they could work together. Nix and Elijah made it up to the roof before Aaron and Gabriel, so that they could sneak behind the troopers who would come after them. Nix and Elijah hid behind the door to the roof, the large metal coverage. She had her knives ready for when they had to move, a hand on the metal to sense movement or the slamming of the door.

The door to the roof opened, and Elijah paused, waiting. Nix felt the slam of the door a few seconds later and unsheathed her knives as she followed Elijah’s lead. The two crept around the corner, minding the rain that had puddled on the roof. Two troopers, with Toby in front of them, a gun pointed at Aaron and Gabriel.

Elijah took the one on the left, and Nix took the one on the right. Elijah’s kama caught the sun, catching the attention of the troopers, but they reacted too late. As the one on the left turned, the kama collided with his shoulder, exposed from the terrible armour he wore. Nix’s trooper was quicker to move, but her knife had slipped through the armour and into his ribs. She kicked the gun down and out of his grip as she ripped through his ribs. She was quick to pull her knife out and stick it through the mask, into his head. Nix used the man’s body as a shield when Toby turned his gun on them, but then Aaron had knocked it out of his hand.

Troopers dead, bodies were thrown on the floor, the four of them looked at Toby, who had scrambled to the wall, where the bricks had given way to age and time. Nix didn’t have to look to know that was where he had thrown Riverbend people to their deaths. She knew what Toby’s fate was and wondered if he did too.

Toby grabbed at his walkie and tried to raise some more troopers. He leaned on his knee, laughing and smiling at them as he realised the other troopers were ambushed by the Riverbend residents and the Hilltoppers. It was distant, but Nix could faintly feel the reverberations of rapid gunfire inside the building. Fuck the Commonwealth and fuck the troopers.

Toby got to his feet as Aaron grabbed the gun he’d dropped. Nix’s knives were sheathed once more, and she held her gun, partially raised as she stared at the man. Behind her, Maggie and Annie appeared, their own guns raised. The man realised that he was in over his head. He held his hands up, trying to come across as the surrendering type. Nix knew it was bullshit – he was going to try and talk his way out of it.

Aaron didn’t give him the chance.

The gun was raised, and several shots landed in Toby’s body, piercing the armour. Nix watched as he fell backwards, mouth agape in a scream. She didn’t move to watch him fall. She knew what fate had in store for him. Instead, she looked to Aaron, wondering what was going on in his head. She’d learned a lot about him from Gracie and Sophia respectfully. A loving father, a kind man. He had been a nervous, kind person when Sophia first met him, full of hope for what was to come. The man in front of Nix looked like nothing that Sophia had described.

Gabriel and Aaron moved towards the edge to watch Toby be devoured by walkers. Nix didn’t, and neither did Maggie or Annie. They had their form of justice, the threat dealt with. How long would it take before the Commonwealth – and Lance fucking Hornsby – realised what had happened, and that the Hilltop had helped take out the troopers.

Nix knew there was going to be another war. She was doubtful on if this was one they were going to survive.

 


 

 

Alden pulled her into his arms, head resting atop hers. It was always awful, taking a life or helping to take several. Nix wanted to be cold about it, that they deserved what happened to them, the choices they’d made that led to their demise. If she thought about it like that, then she was no better than the dickheads she’d helped take out.

So she would live, think of all the faces, the people who wouldn’t return to friends or family. They would haunt her, much like everything else, and she would learn to live with what she’d done.

Nix pulled away from Alden after a moment. They looked at each other, eyes searching. Nix offered a meek smile, and Alden nodded. They went on to help the others move the troopers’ corpses away from the area they were staying in. This was the time where they could risk letting their defences down a little. The threat over with, they could dispose of the bodies and come up with some kind of plan for what would come after.

‘Hornsby is part of this, isn’t he?’ Nix asked Alden once they’d finished. Maggie was speaking to Aaron and Gabriel on the other side of the room.

‘Yeah,’ Alden signed, then put a hand through his hair. Nix watched his movements, feeling so damn glad that he hadn’t been hurt or killed. ‘They have to go back, figure out something to say to him. They know the people here can’t stay here,’

‘He’ll just send more troopers, won’t he?’ Alden nodded. Nix sighed and leaned into his side for a moment. ‘I’ll start hunting more often,’

‘Why?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder, then gestured to the people around them. ‘They need a place to live. Where else than Hilltop or one of our other communities?’

“Nix,” Alden said, sighing a little.

‘What? I trust these people more than those assholes in the Commonwealth. Annie’s pregnant, and this isn’t a safe place for her to stay in,’

‘It’s still their choice. Like us choosing to go to the Hilltop,’

Nix nodded. ‘It’s still another option for them.’

Alden gave a weak smile, then put his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

Nix frowned, a thought coming to mind. ‘Where are those guns? Someone had to have stolen them,’

‘Maybe some other asshole,’ Negan suggested.

How many assholes could be out there? It had to depend on the enemies that the Commonwealth had made – or even enemies that the Hilltop and Alexandria had made. The Whisperers were gone, and the Reapers weren’t a threat anymore. Who the hell was still alive?

Nix’s stomach churned. ‘Mom.’

‘What?’ Negan and Alden asked. The colour had vanished from Nix’s face. Aaron, Gabriel and Maggie turned to look at her.

‘My mom is still alive. She was with the Reapers,’ Nix signed, feeling very close to throwing up. ‘She’s not dead. She’s gonna be pissed we took Meridian from her.’

Maggie stared at Nix for a long moment. “She’s still alive. Your dad let her go.”

What was that saying? The enemy of my enemy is my friend?

Nix felt like she was going to faint. She had to be right. That woman was a psycho, killed people for fun, just to prove a point. If Daryl had really let her go, then she could’ve recovered and made her own suicide mission to get back at them. How likely would it be for her to come across Lance?

‘Don’t think about it,’ Alden signed, turning to look at her. He put a hand on her face, and she felt like she’d been burned. His hand was so warm, and now her skin had gone sickly cold. “Don’t.”

Nix nodded and let him hold her tightly. If Nix ever had the misfortune of seeing her birth mother, she knew she would fucking kill her. No guns or weapons needed; she would kill that bitch with her bare hands.

Chapter 35: Beginning of a War

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Riverbend was treated like a crime scene, like from Before. Nix wasn’t there when it happened, but they had been informed over their long-range walkie. Aaron and Gabriel had stayed behind at Riverbend, having radioed Lance, and told him some tale about the Riverbend people killing all the soldiers. Nix knew that Hornsby would be doubtful – Aaron was missing an arm, and Gabriel was a priest so appearances would be misleading. The two of them were capable, and Hornsby often underestimated people from what she’d learned of him. She didn’t care about the guy and thought he deserved to be humbled, and get whatever was coming for him.

Nix had occupied herself with a quick hunt in the woods around Hilltop. She didn’t want to be around people and knew that people thought she was weird. Maggie’s people didn’t know what to do around her, with no ability in sign language. It was just the few people that Nix had gotten close to since she joined the Hilltop that kept her company. She did her best not to glare at people (Alden had commented that she often stared people down unintentionally), but they got on her nerves and made her feel anxious.

When she returned, Maggie asked her to meddle with the pickup truck that they’d taken to Riverbend. Nix knew her way around cars, thanks to her dad and Merle. She was quick to disconnect the battery and starter relay, change out the alternator and swapped the starter. It wasn’t much, but she hoped that it would do. If anyone came looking, it would be for their benefit. People always came looking, and they both knew that Hornsby would be suspicious and come in search of a way to blame them.

He still hadn’t gotten over Maggie denying the Commonwealth’s help to rebuild. It was only a matter of time before things went sideways.

“Why all of this?” Maggie asked when she saw what Nix had done.

‘Battery is good, we don’t have an old one. Anyone can see the battery is disconnected, they’ll think that’s the main issue,’ she signed, shrugging a shoulder.

Maggie smiled at her before they both pulled the old fire blanket over the truck. “Good woman.”

They dealt with the walkers that came wandering towards the Hilltop and took them out with ease. They were small clusters, maybe left over from the horde all those months ago. How had it already been six months since they had dealt with the Whisperers? So long had passed, but it still felt like yesterday that they’d been fighting for their lives against the skin freaks. Her nightmares certainly made it feel like it had only been yesterday they’d been fighting the skin freaks.

Any thought of walkers or Whisperers came to an abrupt end when Lance Hornsby came up to the gates of Hilltop with a small army behind him. Aaron and Gabriel were with them, standing to the side. Nix could see the tired expressions on their faces, no longer wanting to deal with Hornsby and all the shit he was doing.

Nix was standing on one watch post with Lydia as Maggie and Elijah stood on the other one. They looked down at Hornsby and his men. Nix kept her face calm and steady, neutral as she wanted nothing more than to deck Hornsby. She knew that asshole would come to Hilltop, to try and shift the blame on them. As much as he’d be right about them killing the Commonwealth troopers, they wanted to make sure that he couldn’t find that out. Nix and the others had been through so much to let some sleazebag politician guy take everything from them.

Hornsby had that smile on his face, the façade that he was nice, simply interested and intrigued. Lydia edged closer to Nix, looking around the overgrown plant that had crawled up the face of the wall. Her arm was pressed against Nix’s, worried as they watched the man talking to them.

Nix spotted her father in the middle of the group. How could she not? He hated the suits, and his were loosely fitted, and she could see the black sweater underneath. He didn’t even wear the neck guard. Idiot. At least it meant he didn’t like being one of the militarized cops. He wasn’t like the guys he was meant to fall in line with. The troopers weren’t like them of Hilltop and were only worried about their own asses.

Hornsby spoke up to them, directing his words to Maggie. She had her arms crossed and a closed expression on her face. Elijah was right beside her, looking down at Hornsby with minute distrust in his face. Everyone was waiting for Maggie’s word or signal, whether to fight or to relent.

The others inside Hilltop had come to a stop, hands lingering over their weapons, waiting for the signal. Nix knew that Alden was waiting nearby, a hand on his spear as his other arm held Adam. What the hell were they going to do if shit went sideways? She couldn’t think about that yet.

Hornsby kept speaking, looking to Maggie, who feigned confusion. The man gestured around, and when Maggie spoke again, Nix saw the angry look seeping into Hornsby’s face. She glanced over to Maggie and Elijah and saw the man leaving the platform. Nix and Lydia looked at each other, and then they moved from their watch post. They got down and Nix held onto the lower limb of her bow on her shoulder, watching Elijah and the others. Lydia was right next to her, tense as they went to the gates.

Alden moved over to them, and Lydia offered to hold Adam. A little reluctant, and with a glare from Nix, Alden handed over Adam. Maggie looked down at them and gave the smallest of nods. Elijah and Alden opened the gates.

Hornsby led the way inside, looking very pleased with himself. Once inside, Daryl took off the white plastic-looking armour. He gave Nix and Lydia brief hugs and clasped Alden’s hand before he followed Maggie and Hornsby. Nix hung back with Alden, not too sure what to do. The troopers were walking around, trying to find the guns and goods that they hadn’t found at Riverbend. They wouldn’t find them at the Hilltop either. Nix’s stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought of how it could be Leah fucking Shaw who stole the guns.

Hornsby came to a stop and pulled the old fire blanket off the pickup truck, and presumably made an exclamation when he saw it. Beside her, Alden tensed up, risking a glance her way. Nix kept her gaze steady as she watched Hornsby talking to Maggie. She knew the pickup wouldn’t work, but she had niggling doubts in the back of her mind. Nix watched as Hornsby touched the tyres, opened the hood, and checked the engine.

Maggie glanced to Nix, who nodded minutely. Hornsby laughed and the starter relay was reconnected. Nix felt nervous as Hornsby pulled the blanket off and got into the truck. He was smiling as he found the keys. His smile vanished when the pickup didn’t start. Nix pressed her lips together, hiding her smile as Maggie walked towards Hornsby. She spoke to him calmly before she walked off. Nix nodded to Alden, and they moved off with Daryl.

 


 

 

It was tense. The troopers were doing their best to search every inch of the Hilltop, pushing crates aside, damn near breaking everything to try and find something in a nook or cranny that could incriminate them. Nix did her best to keep herself occupied. Some of their hunters returned from the group hunt, so Nix cured and smoked the meat after skinning and gutting the kills. Hornsby had approached her after a few minutes, pretending to be interested in what she was doing.

At least she couldn’t lip-read him and wasn’t bothered in trying to learn. He watched her, eyes boring into her, and she stopped and glared at him. The fuck was he looking at, was he trying to aggravate her?

‘What?’ she asked angrily, patience vanishing. ‘Want me to fucking gut you too?’

Hornsby was taken aback by the sudden sign language. Scoffing and making noises to herself, Nix quickly finished up and handed the meat over to the hunting party. They hid the amusement in their faces, and she heaved a sigh. Collecting her knives, Nix moved around Hornsby and went to clean them.

Her anger edged away when Adam waddled over to her. Nix smiled at him as she washed her hands and arms free of blood and sinew, knives tucked away safely, clean once more. She made a face at Adam, nose scrunched up, smile still on her face. He held his arms out to her, and she obliged in picking him up.

‘Mom,’ he signed, and she felt her heart almost explode. “Momma – Mama!”

‘Yeah, Mama,’ Nix signed, mouthing along. Although the sign for mother, mama and mom were the same, having him personalise it with how he spoke made it feel special. Adam beamed at her, and then knocked his head against hers, a bit too rough. It hurt, but Nix rubbed at his forehead and then blew a raspberry into his cheek.

Nix caught sight of Hornsby watching her and Adam before he walked off. Nix watched him go until he went past Barrington. She edged towards the corner and watched him go into the cellar. All he’d find in there were maybe blood stains and the cells. Maybe they could lock him up and throw away the key. God, if only. The troopers would bust him out and shoot them all before they could so much as take the key out of the lock.

Adam kicked at her hip, and Nix winced, attention back on the boy. He laughed, drooling a little. Toddlers were gross. At least he had a cute little face.

‘Where’s Dad?’ Nix asked him, figuring she could teach the boy a bit more sign language. ‘Daddy?’

Adam looked around hard and fast, almost twisting himself out of her grip. But then Adam’s face split into a grin, and he made grabby hands in the direction he was looking. She turned and saw Alden approaching.

“Yes, I’m your dad,” he said to Adam, taking him from Nix’s arms. It gave her the chance to wipe away the saliva that had dribbled onto her shirt. Nix watched, bemused, as Alden continued to talk to Adam in what she assumed was his baby voice. God, he was weird. He noticed her watching and pulled a face at her. ‘You love it,’ he signed.

‘Yeah,’

Alden grinned at her and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

And then Alden jerked back, alerted by something. The two saw a trooper running towards them, to where they’d last seen Hornsby around the corner. Nix grabbed her gun and took the safety off as she and Alden rounded the corner. Elijah was pinning Hornsby against the wall. Nix had her sights set on Hornsby, gun in one hand, the other out to Hershel. He moved over to her quickly, and she pulled him into her side as Alden moved to her back, one arm full of Adam, his other hand on the spear, pointing it at the troopers. Hershel was holding onto her t-shirt tightly, head pressed into her side.

More troopers came, pointing their guns at them and Elijah as some Hilltoppers, and Daryl and Maggie appeared. Maggie appeared at Nix’s side, and her son moved into her arms. She held him with one arm, her gun held up with her right hand. Both of them were steady as they pointed their guns at the man. Neither of them knew what he’d done, but they were ready to kill him.

Nix noticed Hershel had his hat back. When had he lost it?

Daryl appeared, pointing his trooper gun at the other troopers. Elijah told them what happened but didn’t let go of Hornsby and continued to glare at him instead. Daryl kept looking around, shouting orders at the troopers. He moved back and pointed his gun at Hornsby, speaking to him.

A few seconds passed before Hornsby said something. The troopers lowered their weapons, and Nix only did so when Maggie lowered hers. Nix scowled as Hornsby was let go. Elijah was still glaring at Hornsby, and Nix was glad that he was there for Hershel. She didn’t know what it was all about, but it gave her all the more reason to hate Hornsby, and all the more reason to kill him.

Hornsby spoke to Maggie. Something about him was off, how he was trying to appease them all, make them think that everything was OK. She could feel Alden behind her, watching him. Alden was tense, jaw set, holding Adam protectively as he lowered his spear.

“Shame we couldn’t be friends.”

The troopers walked past them, going towards the exit. Nix turned to watch them retreat as Elijah stood beside Maggie. Daryl was still standing with them, gun pointed to the floor as he watched the troopers and Hornsby go. The Hilltoppers dispersed, looking uneasy.

Nix looked to her dad, and he nodded to her. A simple understanding without having to use words or signs. They both knew what was going to come, another damn fight. They would always fight. It was just a matter of when and where. Shit would go sideways now, and without a doubt, Hornsby would plan it all down to the fine detail. But he didn’t know them and didn’t know that they had lost and fought so many times that he was just another dickhead to cross off their list.

Adam reached out and pulled at Nix’s hair, and she gasped at the sudden pain.

‘Asshole,’ she signed, annoyed, prying her hair from his hands.

It got a small smile on Maggie’s face, which had to count for something. They were dealing with so much; they needed the little things to make it better.

 


 

 

The sun had finally set, and Nix felt uneasy. She barely slept as it was, but she couldn’t sleep. Alden had drifted off, sleeping beside her. Nix was sitting up, gnawing on her thumbnail and became aware of it every so often. Bad habit she’d picked up from her dad. Her dad, Aaron and Gabriel weren’t going to go back to the Commonwealth just yet, Nix knew that. Hornsby would be obsessed with finding the killers, or at least some way to get evidence that it was them who’d gone and killed all the troopers.

Maybe Daryl would try and find the guns – that meant finding Leah. Nix clamped a hand over her mouth when she felt the bile rise in her throat. It felt like it choked her before she could swallow. She inhaled shakily, feeling the way her heart rate picked up, the way sweat started to bead on her skin.

Fuck. This made her feel so damn pathetic. She’d not seen her out there, but knowing she was still out there, coming to the conclusions … it made her feel weak. This was her birth mother who had left her, and had killed their people. This was a woman who had to be out for revenge. All her people had been killed, and Nix and the others were left to pick up the pieces and rebuild after it all. Leah had nothing except the clothes on her back. She would be a woman out for revenge, and Nix didn’t know if she or the others would be able to stop her.

Alden’s hand on the small of her back made her jump, and she turned to look at him. ‘You good?’ he asked, hands sleepily going over the signs. Nix nodded and leaned down and kissed his cheek. She felt his hand come to rest on her thigh before he fell back into a slumber. Nix sighed before she laid down beside him. She needed to sleep, to get as much energy as she could store.

When the sun rose, Nix tried her best not to think about how little sleep she’d had. At least she’d rested her eyes.

Adam was a bouncing boy, eager and ready to run around and cause havoc. Nix wasn’t up for it but put on a façade for the boy. Alden was half-awake, squinting at Adam, muttering to himself. Nix thought that he was maybe cursing Adam for talking so loudly the way toddlers do. Adam ran out of their makeshift home and ran toward Maggie and Hershel. Nix grimaced as she got out too, with Alden bringing up the rear.

Nix looked up to the sky, frowning when she saw a cluster of locusts. It looked like a huge swarm would be appearing.

‘The noise is loud,’ Alden signed when she looked at him. ‘Locusts. Crazy.’

‘Like an act of God,’ she signed.

Maggie called for a meeting.

“We have to leave,” Maggie said, leaving no room for argument. Alden was beside Nix, as always, translating for her. “Hornsby will be wanting a war, and he’ll bring one to our doorstep, and Elijah saw some of his men a few miles from here. We leave, gather our resources, and fight back. We don’t know when he’ll be attacking, but we know it will be soon.”

Nix looked around, gnawing on her lip a little. It was a good idea to vanish before Hornsby could come and kill them. They would have the upper hand; they knew the land better than he and the troopers did. However, Nix was still wary of Leah out in the unknown. How familiar would she be with the terrain? With the locusts, it felt like this was a bad idea.

Nix didn’t believe in God. Fuck him and all his biblical bullshit. She’d never needed some man in the sky to get shit done.

“It’s not ideal, but we’ll be hiding with Negan and his people of Riverbend,” Maggie continued, mouth juddering to a stop when the other Hilltoppers reacted negatively. Nix got it. He’d helped burn Hilltop and everything had been lost. Still, they were desperate, and Hornsby sure as shit didn’t know about the whereabouts of Negan and the Riverbend.

‘They don’t trust Negan,’

‘I wouldn’t. But they do know we’re desperate and we can’t go to the other communities, right?’

Alden shrugged a shoulder. ‘We could hide in the Kingdom. Hornsby doesn’t know about it, and everyone thinks it’s in ruins,’

Nix wasn’t sure. ‘Would Ezekiel mention the Kingdom when he found out about the rebuilds?’

‘It’s still big enough to hide in,’ Alden signed, then vocalised it to Maggie.

“It’s not habitable,” Maggie said. “And we need people to fight together. This will only be temporary, and we’ll be back here shortly. I won’t leave you all with Negan longer than needed, trust me on that.”

‘Would you rather deal with being in Negan’s company, or being dead?’ Nix signed, getting tired of the people arguing, and Alden had been quick to translate to the others. ‘The lesser of two evils, people!’

Maggie nodded to Nix and Alden, a thankful look on her face. She turned and spoke to the people, convincing them of going to hide with Negan. Maybe hearing that being murdered was the only alternative to hanging around Negan persuaded them to get their asses in gear. Nix didn’t have many belongings to begin with, but she had weapons, Alden had his own weapons, and they had Adam, who owned more than the two adults combined.

Nix packed a duffle bag full of Adam’s stuff – changes of clothes, his teething toys, diapers, wipes and toddler books and toys to keep him distracted. Alden gave her some food to put in there, and then they were getting ready to leave.

There were a few Hilltoppers that weren’t happy with the move, but they knew that it was necessary. Nix could see a few of them talking together, displeasure in their faces, resigned to the fact they’d had to do this. There was nothing else for them to do, it wasn’t like they could stand and fight. The troopers carried heavy artillery, and they didn’t have those types of guns to fight back with.

Groups were sent out every hour or so, with Nix, Alden, Elijah, Marco, Maggie and her son Hershel as the last group to leave. Lydia had been in the first group, going out into the forest to Negan’s hideout. Nix looked around Hilltop. They’d not been back long, and they were once again leaving it for their own safety. She wondered if Sophia and Enid – and everyone back in Alexandria – knew what was happening, or if something was wrong. They would know eventually if things went sideways with the troopers.

Worry spiked in Nix when she thought about the troopers in Alexandria. They could take control of the community, forcing their hand. She knew that Sophia wouldn’t take it likely and would get beat because of it, forced into submission. That was Sophia’s home, and she wasn’t going to let some assholes take it from her.

Hilltop ended up abandoned once more.

They moved, continuing on through the woods and thicket. Maggie led the way, and things were mostly quiet. Nix was holding Adam as they made their way through the trees. It was twelve miles, give or take, but it didn’t matter. They were used to walking long miles and trekking through the terrain.

They came to a stop, briefly, when Maggie knelt down to talk to Hershel. Nix could vaguely see her saying something about choices. They continued walking until Lydia appeared from behind a tree, and she smiled when she looked at them.

‘This way,’ she signed. Their small group followed Lydia through the trees, around bushes and brambles. They didn’t have to go long before Lydia came to a stop and rhythmically thumped the bottom of her staff onto the ground, amongst some sticks and fallen branches.

Lydia started to lift it up, complaining about something before Elijah came to her aid, helping to lift the makeshift trap door. Nix peered into the hole and saw Negan and Annie looking up at them. They really were committing to it then. It was better than having everyone waiting in Hilltop for their deaths at Hornsby’s hand. Those who could fight were going to fight, and they were going to show Hornsby that he was fucking with the wrong people.

Maggie, Annie and Negan walked away into the woods for some privacy as they spoke about Hornsby. Nix watched the three from afar, fingers tight on the riser of her bow. She was tense, worried, and a little bit scared. She knew that they’d all dealt with some serious assholes throughout the apocalypse, but somehow Hornsby scared her a little more.

Hornsby had a small army, and he didn’t need walkers or skin freaks to take over their communities.

‘How did you know about it?’ Nix asked Lydia, pointing to the hideout Negan’s people had been hidden in. Adam wiggled in her arms before he got comfortable once more.

‘Whisperers,’ Lydia signed, looking uncomfortable as she glanced at Alden.

Nix looked to him, then tilted her head a little, a pointed look on her face. Alden nodded, relenting. Nix moved away as Alden spoke to Lydia. She hoped that the two would be able to clear the air between them, since Lydia was always apprehensive of Alden ever since the storm that had them leaving the Kingdom. He couldn’t let go of the grudge, but maybe he would for Nix’s sake.

Maggie was still talking to Negan and Annie. Nix looked up at the locusts. It really did feel like a sign from God. Nix hadn’t seen so many like that before, and it had her on edge. She wondered where her dad was – he had to be with Hornsby or some of the troopers. Would he – and Aaron and Gabriel for that matter – be trying to divert the troopers and get them away from the Hilltop and everyone else? Nix knew her dad was smart and would be trying to keep himself and everyone he cared about alive.

Nix was just worried. Maybe this was what happened when people got close – being worried all the time. She thought about Luke, in Oceanside, unaware of what the hell was going on. The troopers would go to the Oceanside, and what would he do there? He was one of the few men there, and Nix knew he wasn’t the best fighter, but he was charismatic and a quick thinker. He’d have to come up with something.

Adam’s hand came to hold onto her ear as Negan and Annie moved over to them.

“Sorry about putting that gun on you,” Annie said, and Nix huffed a laugh once she realised what she’d said. Negan had been quick to turn and translate to the best of his limited abilities. Annie pointed to herself and then gestured to Adam, mimicking holding him.

‘Thank you,’ Nix signed, handing Adam over.

‘Mama,’ the boy signed, mouth down turning. Nix reached over and put a hand on his face.

‘You’re OK,’ she signed carefully, watching as Adam connected the signs and understood them. ‘Quiet,’

Adam nodded, repeating the sign a little sloppily. Nix didn’t miss the soft look on Annie’s face at the interaction. Adam rested his head against Annie’s and gave Nix a sad little wave.

Fuck. She didn’t want to leave him. Was this what it was like to be a mom? She wasn’t sure how to feel about it. But she had a job to do, and she knew that she would get back to the little boy – her little boy – once everything was done.

Notes:

As always, I hope you enjoy Nix's journey. If you want to see more of her, then please do check out Tranquillity in Time, the AU of Silence. I'm very proud of it and would like to know what you think of it.

Chapter 36: A Mother's Love

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Would they ever stop fighting? Nix thought it wasn’t likely. There was always someone else wanting what they had. Nix had been lucky for the first few years, having walkers destroy the camp, the farm, and then the communities. Silas and Erika had been the ones to destroy Jones Springs, bringing the walkers down on them, a harsh gunfight that had left the residents fleeing for their own safety. Walkers, once more, had been the demise of Coalport. At least with Coalport the humans on guard had fucked up and the walkers had taken advantage of it.

Somehow it was better when they’d been roaming around with their rig, no destination in mind. There hadn’t been dozens of people to lose, and they could all depend on each other, knew each other so well. Sometimes Nix missed the rig and the life they’d had. It had been like they’d been flying by the seat of their pants. It had been a rough life, but it had suited them all just fine. Until their rig was demolished, and they were given another chance in a community.

The Whisperers had been the next threat that had to be dealt with. They’d been continuous, creeping away into the darkness and using the land and the dead to their benefit. How many people had Nix and the others lost? So many people had been hurt, injured and killed. But they all kept going on. They kept pushing forwards.

And then the goddamn Reapers followed Maggie and her people, and they had been the next threat to deal with. Nix thought about her mom more often now that she knew she was with the Reapers. Most all of them had been killed, and her goddamn mom was the one still standing. Part of Nix couldn’t understand why her dad let her go. Nix didn’t have any … connections to the woman, and what connection did he have with that woman? She’d left their daughter at birth, had left her with her dad and hadn’t spoken to her in her entire life. Nix knew that her dad couldn’t feel any of those feelings for Leah Shaw anymore. He was damn near infatuated with Connie. Nix had seen the two share a few kisses, something rare and very private.

Nix missed Connie, her surrogate mother. The woman who had done more for Nix than Leah Shaw ever could. Part of Nix was terrified that she could stumble across Leah. Would Leah recognise her? Nix didn’t know what she’d do if they ever met. But she knew that one of them would end up dead, and Nix had a family, a son and a partner. She couldn’t let Leah take her away from them.

With Adam and the other Hilltoppers safe with Annie and the others, Nix and the small group returned to Hilltop. Alden was right by her side, a tense look on his face, lines on his brow. He almost looked older than what he was. Nix wondered if she was like that too, appearance-wise. She knew she was scarred enough for someone twice her age, and the grey hairs she was developing certainly felt like they’d aged her.

No matter. She couldn’t think about that sort of thing, not until the fight with Hornsby was over.

Everything and everyone was tense. They’d made it back to the Hilltop, setting everything up, the tripwires, the hidden nail bombs, the whole nine yards.

‘How do you know how to do this?’ Maggie asked once she’d seen the nail bomb Nix had made.

She shrugged a shoulder. ‘Magna taught me,’ she signed. ‘Merle taught me some stuff as well,’ she added before she turned to look at the bottles of alcohol. They could make some Molotovs if they could spare the rags.

Maggie nodded and watched as Nix prepared the smoke bombs, using some sugar and spare explosives. Nix didn’t know how to make pipe bombs, but the types of bombs she did know how to make would be useful. They were smart in placing the nail bombs, the triggers ready. Alden had been the one to set the triggers, seeing where Nix placed them.

‘Molotovs,’ Lydia spelled out, frowning as she tried to spell.

‘We can keep hold of them, use a bag to keep them in,’ she signed, then reached around for her backpack, and handed it to Lydia. ‘I have enough ammo that I should be OK. I don’t need my bag.’

Lydia looked at her for a few seconds before nodding, looking a little unsure. They knew that it could be dangerous, that Nix could end up with no food or water. But everyone knew what the plan was, and where to meet up with the others if they got waylaid.

They returned to Barrington and set up the final traps. Marco and Elijah were checking over their weapons, as Lydia lit the oil lamp atop the hearth. Maggie was checking the clip in her gun as Alden checked the sharpness of his spear. Nix was ready, having finished up the trap on the door, and she now had her bow in her left hand, her right hovering over the gun holstered to her thigh. They knew what was coming and knew it would be soon.

The sun was starting to set, and they knew it was coming. The locusts had seemed to descend upon them, flitting through the air. Nix wished the damn insects were still high up in the sky; they were starting to distract her.

They’d hidden away behind the cars, their group of six, and waited for the attack to start. Alden was the one who spotted them first in the distance, using grappling hooks to get over the wall and into Barrington.

Nix jumped at the vibrations of the explosion, followed by two more. So they’d found some of her traps. Nix ignored the thought that she’d taken their lives. They were the ones invading her home and she was defending it.

‘No sign of Hornsby,’ Alden signed to Nix when Elijah spoke. In the distance, they could see papers flying up in the air from the explosion, debris going everywhere.

“Asshole always has somebody else do the dirty work,” Marco said to Elijah.

‘See if we can recover their weapons,’ Maggie signed carefully as she spoke. “Follow their trail back to their camp, and then we end this.” There was a certain finality in her face that had to match her tone of voice. Nix wasn’t sure, she didn’t trust that they would be able to end it as easily as that.

The fire was still going on inside Barrington from the bomb.

Marco said something to Maggie before he nodded and looked to Elijah. The two said something to each other before Marco stood up. Only for him to gasp as blood splattered over Lydia’s face. Marco collapsed to his knees and fell face forwards. Alden and Lydia had reached out to grab him, and Nix saw the gunshot wound in the back of his head. The shot had been silent and had come as a surprise. Nix crouched, and her eyes went to the person silhouetted by the flames inside Barrington. She didn’t need to see the person’s face to know who it was.

It was Leah fucking Shaw.

Nix grabbed Alden’s wrist and pulled him away from Marco’s body. She couldn’t think about how close Marco and Alden had been, the two bonding as closely as brothers. Nix had to push aside all the thoughts of how nice Marco had been and how he’d survived so damn well. Leah Shaw had taken his damn life, and that was another person she’d taken from them. Nix was going to make that damn woman pay.

Maggie had cottoned on and was pulling Elijah and Lydia away too. They had to escape Hilltop.

 


 

 

Nix knew this had to be a play. Leah had drawn them out, and maybe that was how she was going to kill them. How many other troopers would be nearby? Leah had to be working for Hornsby or had taken control of the situation from him. Nix had to keep her head level, to think it through. They knew Leah had to have taken the guns and was out for revenge. They had to be smart about what they were doing. Nix knew the terrain better than Maggie and the others, but she didn’t know how well Leah did, nor did she know if Leah knew she was still alive and was with Maggie.

Nix wasn’t a fan of the dark, especially with roaming corpses nearby. She knew that she was a liability – deaf and unable to hear the threats. But she had survived so long that being killed in a dark forest was out of the cards. This was just her anxiety playing up, and she knew how to control it.

The walkers were coming at their group, and they were using their silent weapons – Elijah with his kamas, Lydia with her bo staff, Alden his spear and Nix her knives. She couldn’t waste the arrows on the dead, not yet anyway. Maggie was using her knife too, not wanting to waste her bullets.

‘You’re sure it was her?’ Nix asked Maggie because she was a little bit scared that it really was Leah Shaw. The way Maggie’s eyes were wide as she confirmed it solidified it for Nix. What the hell were they going to do?

‘Go, please. I’ll lead Leah and the others away,’ Maggie signed choppily as Elijah protested it.

‘I’m coming with you,’ Nix signed. Maggie looked at her, made to protest. ‘That bitch is my mother. I need to do this.’

Maggie stared at her, seemingly into her damn soul, before she nodded. Nix looked to Alden, who looked resigned to it. ‘Be careful,’ he signed before he kissed her.

‘You too,’ she replied, watching him lead Elijah and Lydia away. Nix licked her lips a little and swallowed her nerves. She was doing this – she needed to do this. Nix pulled her bow off her shoulder and held the riser, nocking an arrow. She and Maggie were in a half-crouch, stepping carefully through the woods.

Nix felt a chill go down her spine, and she looked around. It felt like someone was watching them. Maggie glanced at her, and she knew that she thought the same thing too. The two women set off, footsteps presumably loud as they stepped on leaves and twigs. They had to lead Leah away, and any troopers that she may have on her side.

Maggie led the way, and Nix kept an eye on their back. She kept bumping into Maggie, hip touching hers, legs brushing together. Maggie didn’t protest, and near enough insisted Nix stayed as close as she could. They both knew what they were doing was dangerous, and Nix was terrified that Leah would catch them by surprise.

Maggie came to a stop, and Nix looked at her. ‘Walker,’ she signed.

Nix looked around and saw the walker. She glanced at Maggie and saw her holster her gun before taking out her knife. Nix watched the other side of the forest as the walker drew closer. She felt Maggie shift behind her, and glanced back to see her settle the walker down as quietly as she could. Nix pressed her lips together, her hand reaching out to touch at Maggie’s back as she took her gun back out and stood up again. The two continued moving through the forest. Her stomach was tied into knots, but Nix ignored it for now. On they went until Maggie turned around. Nix followed her gaze as Maggie tapped her twice on the hip. Someone was there and made a sound that alerted Maggie.

Nix held onto the nocking point of her bow, ready to draw back and shoot. Maggie led the way, and her gun was held in both hands. Nix kept the same pace as her, feeling tense. They both knew it was Leah out there, maybe doing some mind games. She wanted to hunt them. Nix was a hunter, she knew how this game worked – spook the prey out into the open, follow it downwind so it couldn’t catch her scent. Follow its tracks and give it a wide berth to go around it and have the upper hand. Nix didn’t know what type of gun Leah had, but she was good with it.

Right in front of them, Nix saw Leah first. Her arrow was anchored to her cheek before she had time to think. It shot through the air as Maggie raised her gun. Leah had raised hers too, and the arrow lodged itself into her shoulder. Leah hid behind the tree before she dared to try and run. Maggie shot her, and a small look of almost vindication passed over her face. Nix knew she’d hid her target. Maggie shot again before she was off, following Leah.

Nix managed to keep up with her, in a half-crouch as she shifted through the forest, feet light and quick. This was a second home to Nix, and she knew how to move around quietly. Maggie slowed down, eyes going to the ground.

‘Track,’ she signed, and Nix nodded, following the trail Leah had left behind, of jagged footprints and drops of blood. Nix didn’t trust this trail, didn’t trust Leah. She knew that the woman had to be planning something – she’d been a mercenary, and she had to know how to adjust her plans quickly.

She slowed her pace down and edged towards the thick tree. Leah had to be behind there; Nix couldn’t see the trail go anywhere else. She moved around it, and saw no-one there. She stumbled when Maggie fell into her, and before Nix could act, the butt of Leah’s gun hit her hard in the face. She fell backwards onto the ground, trying so hard to stay awake before the darkness consumed her.

 


 

 

When Nix finally regained consciousness, she first noticed the pounding in her head. The second thing she noticed was that her hands were tied with rope. Blinking hard, getting her eyes to focus, Nix realised that Maggie was beside her, unconscious. They were tied to some chairs, rickety and old.

Fear and adrenaline pushed their way through Nix’s body, and she jerked. Her hands were tied behind her back, and she was sitting in an old wooden chair. She looked up, and across from her was a woman. She had greyish blonde hair, with the ends looking a little ginger. She had a sour turn to her mouth and looked like nothing but death.

Nix knew who this woman was. This was her damn birth mother.

Leah smiled tightly and pointed the gun at her head. Her finger was off the trigger – at least the woman had trigger discipline. Her eyes were narrowed at Nix, cold and calculating. Nix felt uneasy but didn’t let Leah intimidate her. The two seemed to stare at each other for hours on end. Nix very slowly started to try and twist her hands free of the bindings Leah had put on her wrists. From touch alone, it had to be rope, and Nix knew she could get free from the rope. The sun had risen in the sky, and that worried Nix. How long had she and Maggie been out? Where were the others? Alden would be worrying his ass off; Nix knew that much.

But then Maggie started to stir, slowly waking up and returning to them. Leah waited until her eyes met Maggie’s before she turned the gun onto her. Nix felt Maggie move beside her and felt her arm move as she started on her own bindings. It was at times like this that Nix hated that she was deaf – Leah would have audible cues for when Nix tried to break free too quickly. She had to be slow and steady, and she’d been slowly slipping free since she woke up.

She watched as Leah and Maggie spoke to each other. She couldn’t read Maggie’s lips side on and didn’t want to try with Leah. Her mouth still looked like she’d eaten something sour, lips pursed. Her face held no emotion at all, and her eyes were boring into Maggie’s. Her finger moved onto the trigger, as hatred slipped into her face. She wanted revenge, probably wanted to torture Maggie. What would she do to Nix?

Leah lowered her gun, as Nix and Maggie continued trying to loosen the bindings on their wrists. Leah swallowed, pursing her lips a little as she took in whatever Maggie had been saying.

“You’re wrong. It’s not just you,” Leah said, leaning forwards. “By the time I’m done, everyone you love will be dead.” She looked to Nix. “And I’m going to start with her.”

Nix kept her gaze level as her hands loosened up behind her. Maggie started to speak, and Leah glanced at her. Nix’s hands came free, and she moved quickly. She made to wrap the rope around Leah’s neck, but the two collided, and Leah’s gun was forced between them. She was trying to shoot her. Maggie broke free behind Nix, and she made to attack Leah too.

The woman pushed Nix back, and her head hit the edge of the wooden table. The world went hazy, edging on darkness, and the room was spinning. Fuck. She could feel the rough vibrations as the two women fought, feet stamping on the wooden planks of the floor, or when their bodies collided with the walls of the cabin they were in. Nix shut her eyes tight, willing her head to level out. Her hand went to her head, where it had connected with the table, and she saw bright blood stain her hand. She should’ve known better.

The world seemed to stop spinning, and the darkness in Nix’s vision edged away. She coughed, coming to her knees before she used the table to heave herself up onto her feet. She had dealt with too much shit to be taken out like this. She had killed all of those bandits; she wasn’t going to let Leah fucking Shaw take her out now. She looked around and grabbed hold of her knife – Leah had stripped them of their weapons and had put them aside. Nix got to her feet, a little unsteady, and blinked away the double vision.

Leah had Maggie at her feet, her face bloodied, with red marks on her skin from the accurate hits Leah had landed on her face. She laughed at Nix, despite her own bloody nose and injuries Maggie was struggling, coughing and wincing. Nix held onto her knife tightly, jaw clenched, eyes full of anger. Adrenaline was starting to course through her system, and she needed to use it, to fight Leah and fucking kill her.

Nix and her birth mother circled each other. Both of them were beaten, bloody and bruised in one way or another. It didn’t matter. Nix was going to kill this asshole, the one who had killed all of Maggie’s people, who had almost gotten Alden and Sophia killed. She’d just hurt Maggie, was going to kill her, had threatened to kill Nix herself. Nix was not going to let her take anyone else from her.

“You … you have the same stink eye as your daddy,” she said, looking breathless, gesturing to Nix with her knife. “You’re fully grown, Phoenix,”

Nix scoffed, and the two came to a stop. Nix pointed a finger at her mother, ignoring the way her body was aching, the pounding in her head. ‘Your people almost killed my boyfriend, my best friend. You have to pay.’

‘No,’ she signed, and Nix’s eyes narrowed, surprised at the sign language. ‘You and your people killed my men, my brothers, my family, you have to pay.’

She had to be delusional. Clenching her jaw, Nix readjusted her grip on her knife. With a swift jerk of her head, her mother grinned something malicious and rushed forwards for the attack.

Nix dodged, arms coming up to defend herself. The force knocked her backwards into the wall, and she grunted when her back hit it. Nix headbutted her hard in the face. Her knee came up into Leah’s gut, and she buckled at the hit before her hands were on Nix. Leah twisted, getting her footing before she pulled Nix over her back. Nix hit the ground, and her head smacked the floorboards hard. Fucking twice now, she’d hit her head.

Nix twisted around on the ground and kicked the woman when she tried to hit her once more. She stumbled backwards, and Nix scrambled to her feet and grabbed her by her middle and lifted her up before slamming her down to the ground. The woman groaned, but then Nix was there, clambering on top of her. Nix gasped, panting as she did her best to pin her arms down with her knees. She put pressure on her arms as she started to punch the woman in the face.

Breathing heavily, with her knuckles bust and hurting, Nix continued to punch her birth mother, relishing in the blood that splattered her face and soaked the floorboards. She stopped after a few seconds, trying to catch her breath. It was time for her to die. Nix’s hands went to her neck, and there was nothing Leah could do as she struggled. Her legs kicked out; her arms tried to get free from the position Nix had put her in. She was fucking trapped. Nix didn’t care if this was personal or out of necessity.

Her birth mother choked and gasped, coughing and trying to catch her breath, but Nix’s fingers were too tight on her neck, closing her windpipe.

And then Nix was knocked to the side. She tumbled, rolling on the floor before she caught herself and twisted just before she slammed into Maggie, who was still on the floor in pain. The knife was raised in her hand, and she almost attacked until she realised it was her father. He’d found them. Daryl held a hand up to her, asking her to stop. He kept the woman pinned to the ground. He was saying something to her, and Nix just barely caught the woman’s name off his lips. They were busy arguing, a screaming match as they tried to get the other to see sense.

It didn’t matter. Nix didn’t want this woman alive. So she threw the knife, and it lodged in Leah’s temple. Her mouth stopped, and it was like everything jerked to a stop, taken by surprise at the sudden mortal wound. Leah’s hand on Daryl’s wrist slackened and fell. Her legs slid down to the floor, and her chest stopped moving. Nix could feel herself breathing hard, and she tore her eyes from the knife to her father.

Her father looked at her like she wasn’t Nix. Ignoring the aches, the sharp shooting pains, Nix got to her feet and took the knife out of Leah’s head, grunting with the effort. She looked down at her father, before extending a hand to him. He looked at her for a moment, analysing, trying to read her before he took it and she helped him to his feet.

Nix needed him to understand. That there was nothing he could do that would’ve changed Leah’s mind. The woman didn’t care for them, and all she’d wanted was their dead bodies. Nix wasn’t going to let her have that and knew that nothing more than Leah’s own death would stop her. ‘She left us. She’s left you again and again. She’s killed our friends. Our family. She was neither. Don’t mourn a cunt.’

Daryl looked at her, still unable to figure her out. She knew he was desperate. But she was tired; that had never been a mother, that had been a pathetic person, who had ditched her only child, had joined some psychopathic assassins and had killed countless people. She was nothing more than a Reaper, and her soul had been reaped by none other than Nix herself.

‘Nix,’

‘Don’t bother. She was never a mother. We both know it. Connie was and still is. We know you love her. The only reason you tried to keep Leah alive was for a life that never happened, for forgotten memories. She was nothing to me, and never will be. She shouldn’t be anything to you either.’

She raised an eyebrow, looking at her father, waiting for him to either nod, shake his head, or explode on her. Nix didn’t care for the result; she had gotten her closure. The last Reaper was gone, and there was nothing more to it.

The people she loved and cared about were alive and that was all Nix needed.

Her father still hadn’t reacted.

Nix sheathed her knife and turned and walked away, grabbing the rest of her weapons as she went. She didn’t get far, barely out of the back door, before Maggie caught her arm. The two women looked at each other, and then Maggie was pulling Nix into a tight hug. It took Nix a moment before she awkwardly put her arms around Maggie, returning the hug. She took in a shaky breath, and then rested her head on Maggie’s shoulder. She looked up and saw her father watching them, chewing on his lip the way he did when he was thinking something over.

God, Nix was relieved. She’d just killed her birth mother, and she was relieved that she’d done it. Nix didn’t have it in her to care how fucked up that was. Not yet. Leah had killed Marco, and had aided in killing the group on the run to Meridian. One of her men had almost taken Sophia and Alden from her.

Nix sighed, then pulled herself out of Maggie’s arms.

“You good?”

‘Better than before,’ she admitted. Maggie held her in her gaze, then nodded.

Then there was a gunshot, and Maggie was pulling Nix down. The three now had another threat to deal with. Fuck, they really couldn’t catch a fucking break.

Nix could see the troopers, on their horses and on foot. They were coming for them. Nix saw her dad edge towards the window, gun raised before he shot, cracking the windowpane. Nix didn’t know who he’d shot at, and she didn’t care. Daryl pulled the two of them through into the next room. They climbed out of the window, and Daryl led them away, through the brambles and bushes.

They moved as quickly as they could, but both Maggie and Nix had taken a serious beating. Nix was pretty sure her head wound was still bleeding, but she didn’t have anything to wrap it with. Maggie was stumbling along beside her, covered in her own blood, looking ready to sleep for a decade to heal her wounds. Daryl was the most alert out of the three of them, hands on his gun, ready to shoot at a trooper that even dared to come near them.

Nix looked up at the sky and couldn’t help but feel a little bit relieved that the swarm of locusts seemed to have moved on.

In front of them, Aaron and Gabriel appeared, holding their own weapons. They looked relieved to see the three, and then Gabriel was manoeuvring Nix, tearing off a piece of his white shirt to press against the wound on her head. She held it there, watching as he tore more sections of his clothes so that he could wrap it around her head, keeping the pad of clothing pressed against the wound to try and stem the bleeding.

“What happened?” Aaron asked, eyes going between Nix and Maggie.

Maggie sighed, forcing herself to continue walking. “Nix killed her mother.”

When Aaron and Gabriel looked to her, concern on their faces, Nix shrugged. She’d done worse. Now, all she wanted was to find Alden and Adam and crawl into bed. She thought about Sophia and Enid in Alexandria. God, they had to know to be careful. Hornsby, if he was still alive, had to be calling for all the communities to be taken over.

It was going to be all out war.

Notes:

Now we wait for 11c to come out. I'm quite excited for what they're going to do, and what Nix will do in those situations.

If you'd like to see more Nix content, I have two AUs posted - one named Tranquillity in Time, a canon divergence fic from this, and a Hunger Games AU. I'm very proud of both of them and would love to know what y'all think of them.

Chapter 37: Down to the Sewers

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Nix was exhausted. Her head was hurting something bad, and she knew she had to be careful. She needed medical attention, but no-one was as good as Enid. She would have to make do with the resources she had to patch herself up. Despite the aching, Nix kept moving. Maggie was right beside her, bloodied and bruised, looking like she wanted to collapse just like Nix. There was something in her eyes whenever she looked at Nix, and it would bug Nix if she cared enough about it.

They came to a stop at a small river, where Maggie kneeled down to try and clean her face. Nix copied her movements, body aching. The water was cool on her fingers, and she cupped the water in her hands, splashing it on her face. It smelled weird, like river water usually did, but Nix didn’t pay it any mind. Her entire body was aching. She was getting too old for this shit. When could she retire and live out her life with Alden and Adam?

The images flashed in her mind briefly, but they were amusing. She’d have a cottage with them, have their own little farmland and animals. Sophia and Enid would be their neighbours, and probably have a kid of their own that would somehow look exactly like Sophia but with Enid’s dark hair. A make-believe life, gone in a flash.

Maggie shifted over to her, arm bumping into Nix’s. She frowned and looked at her. ‘Tell you something. Important,’ she signed, and Nix’s frown deepened. She glanced over at the men, who looked unsure. Maggie turned around and said something to them, and they all looked away.

Nix’s anxiety spiked, and she wondered what the fuck was going on. ‘What?’

‘Before I left … I asked Alden to promise me something.’ She frowned. “Not really a promise. I asked him if he’d wait for me,” she said, hands unsteady, and Nix knew she had no idea how to sign it. She wondered if Maggie was saying it aloud or mouthing it to have some form of privacy from the men. “I … there’s no easy way for me to admit this, and it’s been on my mind since I came back.”

‘Spit it out,’

“I have feelings for Alden.”

It took Nix’s brain a moment to comprehend what she’d said. Maggie was looking at her with an intense look in her eyes, and Nix was too tired for this. She’d been beaten to hell and killed her birth mother, and Hornsby was out for their blood. This was a small break that they’d allowed themselves to have, and having Maggie admit this to her? It felt quite out of the blue, sudden and a desperate need to admit her secrets.

“Before I left with Hershel to join Georgie … I didn’t want to leave without him knowing how I felt. But he’s with you, and I don’t want this to-to create a rift between us.”

‘I don’t care,’ she signed, and regretted it a little. That was probably the wrong thing to say, she could’ve worded it better. ‘Alden already told me.’

“He told you?”

‘Yeah. A while since,’ she signed as Maggie frowned at her, looking tired under the bruises, the blood and dirt washed away. ‘Alden told me a while ago. I noticed you looking at him, so when I asked he told me the whole thing. Waiting for you, holding out hope. Then I appeared and I guess things changed.’

Nix knew that she was younger than Alden by a few years, and Maggie was on the opposite end of that. Nix knew that Alden had developed feelings for Maggie after the war with the Saviors, deflecting because he knew the Saviors were fucked, and he needed an out. Maggie, mourning over Glenn, hadn’t reciprocated Alden’s feelings for her. She’d started to, but then Georgie asked her to go with her. Alden and Maggie had talked about it, she’d asked if he’d wait for her and he’d agreed, but there were no strings attached if things turned out differently when Maggie returned. Which was exactly what happened; Nix and her group were brought to the Hilltop, she befriended Alden, and then things progressed from there. Alden didn’t regret it and had moved on from what he’d felt for Maggie.

Maggie stared at her for a long moment before she nodded.

‘We’ve got a job to do, we need to do it.’ Nix signed, and she saw her dad nod out of the corner of her eye. She figured he’d been watching them, unsure of what was going on.

They briefly reunited with the others, with Negan and Elijah promising that the kids and their people were being transported to another safe place that Lydia knew of. At least the hide holes the Whisperers had left behind had some form of use. The Commonwealth and Hornsby didn’t know about them, only Lydia knew the exact locations.

In the dead city they were in, they were being trapped. Nix wasn’t sure what the plan was. They were taking out the walkers that they found within buildings, with Hornsby on their trail. He’d gone to their communities, from what Nix had heard from the relays Maggie’d set up. Every single one of their communities was in his control now, with the Commonwealth emblem on tapestries. Nix was terrified for her friends and family back home.

Hornsby and the troopers were on their tail, and Nix knew it was only a matter of time before they ran out of places to hide and were caught. The adrenaline was the only thing that kept Nix awake and aware. She was anxious and needed to get this over and done with. Their group moved on and found themselves in an abandoned town, and they continued to search through the overgrown buildings for any troopers or hidden walkers. Hornsby was still following them, and the others could hear the rhythmic stomping of the troopers with Hornsby’s shouts echoing through the wasteland.

Aaron and Gabriel vanished to do their own sweep whilst Nix followed her father and Maggie. It was odd, that Maggie had admitted her feelings for Alden to her and had admitted it now. Was it because Nix killed Leah? She’d saved her life and was now feeling indebted to her, was that it? Whatever, Nix could digest the information later, when their lives weren’t in imminent danger.

They made it through one building full of overgrown weeds, and brambles. The glass windows were cracked, and some panels were missing. There were even a few puddles on the concrete ground. Daryl moved ahead into the final room whilst Nix and Maggie took out the last two walkers in the hallway.

Maggie nodded to her and led Nix into the room, mouth moving, saying “Clear!”

Nix watched her dad and moved with him and Maggie to peer out of the window. Hornsby was there with his troopers, presumably instructing them. But the three of them were hidden away in the building, not that it would last.

Her father and Maggie spoke, mouths barely moving. Nix didn’t know what they were saying, eyes on the men in ridiculous outfits. Then the two jerked, and Daryl grabbed Nix’s arm and pulled her along, hiding behind some broken concrete. Maggie hid behind one of the doors they’d left open. Nix clenched her jaw and waited for her dad’s signal.

They jumped out, prepared to attack, only to see Aaron and Gabriel there. They looked relieved to see them, and Gabriel made a gesture as he and Aaron moved. There, in the doorway, were Negan, Annie and Alden. Annie and Negan moved to talk to Maggie as Alden moved over and pulled Nix into a quick hug before he pulled away, eyes on the new bruises forming on her face.

‘Who’d you fight now?’ he asked, trying to come across as jokey, but she saw the worry and concern in his eyes.

‘Head Reaper. Also known as my birth mom.’

“Fucking hell, Nix,” he said, and she shrugged a shoulder, not entirely sure what she was feeling. She couldn’t think about it yet. They had to kill the troopers and Hornsby. Then what would happen after?

She watched as the others spoke, talking about their next move. Gabriel wanted to go back to the Commonwealth first, to get their people out before dealing with Hornsby together. But they had kids in the Commonwealth and taking them to the hidden hole wherever Hershel was, it would be dangerous and time-consuming. Aaron disagreed, assuming that Hornsby had already radioed back, and he knew them all well enough to know they’d not make it through the checkpoints. Nix stopped paying attention, looking to the side where her father was back to looking through the window. She sighed a little, hands on her weapons.

She frowned when her dad returned to them and pointed a finger at Negan. She looked to Alden.

‘He says the Commonwealth has never seen Negan’s face before, so we can keep our people safe and aware, whilst we take out the Hornsby crew.’

‘That could work.’ Nix signed, nodding her head a little.

‘Negan doesn’t think he could walk right in there, your dad says he can,’ Alden translated. The two watched as Negan and Annie spoke together, a quiet dispute. Annie wanted to go in, but Negan didn’t want her to, because she was pregnant, and he wanted her safe.

‘What’s the plan?’ Negan asked, surprising Nix that he signed it. She ignored the look on Maggie’s face. Negan had learned sign language and wasn’t rusty like Maggie was.

Their group were quick to make a plan. Negan was to wear his Whisperer mask and hide amongst the dead and sneak up on the troopers. He’d kill one and steal a car and give Daryl and Alden the guns and the walkie. The two would wait and attack Hornsby and the men, whilst Nix, Maggie and Annie would be out of sight, watching whoever would be trying to radio back to the Commonwealth.

Negan’s end of the plan went off without a hitch, and Nix watched as the walkers devoured the two troopers. Negan threw the guns and walkie, got in the car and vanished. Nix, Maggie, and Annie were hiding away on the roof of one of the buildings, watching and waiting. It was like a hunt, waiting and staying still and out of sight. Maybe twenty minutes later, Hornsby and his men came to the scene, shooting the walkers. Hornsby looked beyond mad, and Nix couldn’t help but feel glad she’d not trusted him from the start.

One of the troopers was setting up the radio with Hornsby yelling at them. Nix watched; eyes narrowed against the bright sun. There was what looked like an argument of sorts before the man was grabbing the radio gear and rushed away. Nix hid from view as she moved swiftly across the roof and made her way down the fire escape as Daryl and Alden laid down fire on Hornsby and the others. She led Maggie and Annie through the alleyways before they found the trooper. He didn’t notice them at first, too busy setting everything up. Nix and Annie were together, and they pushed out some pieces from a car, and it wheeled out into view of the man. He turned to watch it drift away, and then the women moved into action.

The trooper tried to raise his gun at Nix and Annie when they came into view, but Maggie was already moving from behind. She was quick to stab him between the ribs, exposed by the terrible armour. Before Nix could tell her not to, Maggie smashed the radio to pieces. Damn, they could’ve used that and knew what the troopers were doing, what the Commonwealth was doing. Maggie handed over the trooper’s gun to Nix, and she nodded to her. Guns weren’t her thing, but they’d do more damage than her bow. She wasn’t Robin Hood by any means, and couldn’t fire several arrows at once. Not that she’d had the chance to try it.

Nix was worried about her family. Connie and the others in Commonwealth, her family back home. She was scared of what was going on back home; Alexandria was still under Hornsby’s command, and the troopers would be keeping everything in control. Nix knew what Sophia was like, what Enid would be like. Sophia wasn’t going to back down, and Enid would follow her lead. And what about Oceanside? Luke was still there, and he was so damn close to Nix that his death would shatter her. If any of them died, and she was too far away to help or save them, then Nix didn’t know what she would do. Scream, cry and maybe go on a murder rampage of her own. Nobody would be able to stop her if she lost someone close to her again.

Maggie kept Nix in the loop, informing her of the success that came from her dad’s plans. Negan had gotten away successfully, and the troopers had been dealt with. But Hornsby was coming, and he would bring more and more waves of troopers with him. They had to be smart about it, and the plan that they had wasn’t going to keep them alive for long.

Their group split, searching the area, keeping out of sight of troopers, and taking out the ones that were on their own. It was nerve-wracking, and it reminded Nix of her time in the city, where those bandits caught her. She’d used her skills there and killed every last one of them. She’d use those same skills again against these troopers if she had to. She knew she could, and she had her dad by her side and several others who were smart enough and trained well enough that they could do it. Just … that was a whole damn army against her small group. It was a daunting thing to think of.

Nix, Daryl and Maggie walked between two buildings, guns up and ready to fight. She knew how to keep her anxieties and nerves in check, but this was somehow a different kind of threat. Hornsby was manipulative and smart, and he had an ample supply of bodies to throw at them until they died or were taken captive.

Daryl led them both through the alleyways and backroads. Nix trusted the two with her, knowing that they would be able to hear the troopers before she’d see them. Daryl and Maggie came to a stop, and Nix copied them. Maggie put a hand on her arm, and she led them through another alleyway. It led to a small set of stairs, and it reminded Nix of the brownstone houses back in Alexandria.

Their backs were against the brick wall, and Nix was feeling tense. Her finger was off the trigger, but she was ready to shoot if she had to.

Maggie and Daryl spoke, but Nix couldn’t catch what they were saying, both of them not looking at her. They were checking their surroundings, making sure that the troopers weren’t close, and that they were safe in the meantime.

“Nix, what you did back there,” Maggie said, turning to look at her, but she couldn’t quite look Nix in the eye. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

‘I’m not.’

And she wasn’t. Not at all. Leah hadn’t meant a damn thing to Nix. Sure she’d been her birth mother, but that was just a general name for her. There were no emotional strings attached to her, and the only one who seemed to care about her was Daryl, and even then, he didn’t seem so distraught over her death. Nix didn’t think that he still loved Leah, not how he appeared to love Connie. It was another thing to think about once this bullshit with Hornsby was done with.

Maggie nodded and didn’t seem all that surprised by Nix’s reaction. ‘Between her and you, it’s you I’ll always save. Glenn would want me to look after you.’

Something flashed in Maggie’s eyes, sorrow and acceptance all in one. She reached out and clasped Nix’s hand in hers tightly for a brief moment. But then their own people were there at the top of the stairs, and Daryl and Maggie were hissing at them to come join them. Aaron, Annie, Gabriel and Alden came down the steps to them, and Alden shifted around Gabriel to come stand beside Nix. She was relieved to see him unharmed, but she was also worried. Neither of them were with Adam, and he was a crier, especially when they left him for long periods of time. Lydia would know what to do and be able to distract him, but it left Nix feeling almost hollow.

Alden’s arm moved around her back, a hand settled comfortably on her hip. The others were talking about the troopers, how they were essentially being pinned in by Hornsby. He knew the area better than them. Annie wasn’t looking at them, was looking at something on the ground instead. She turned to them and said something before she looked back to the ground.

Nix’s eyebrows came together a little, not entirely sure what was going on.

‘Underground – sewers,’ Gabriel signed to her when he saw the confused look on her face. She nodded, though had to resign herself to smelling like utter shit later. At least it wasn’t going to make her puke like the tunnels had; she wasn’t pregnant anymore. Guilt flooded her when she thought, good, and hoped that Alden didn’t catch the way her emotions came to the surface before she controlled them.

Fuck.

Down into the sewers they went.

Naturally, the sewers smelled like shit and piss and something dead and decayed. The smell was rancid, but it probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The ladder was disgusting though, with mould and other nasty shit Nix didn’t want to think about sticking to the metal.

Once everyone was off the ladder and at ground level, their group slowly made their way forwards. Gabriel was bringing up the rear, and Alden had his spear at the ready with him. Nix was following after Maggie and Annie, who didn’t look too great. Nix remembered that Annie was pregnant and felt a little bad that she’d forgotten all about it. She’d had a lot on her mind lately, she figured she was bound to forget something.

There were a few walkers up ahead that Daryl and Aaron were quick to kill. They moved through a large hole in the wall that looked like an archway. Once Nix made her way through it, she saw a large area that had once been where some survivors had lived. There were makeshift tents and clothes strewn around. Blankets covered surfaces, and Nix was a little apprehensive. There were a few good places to hide.

There were clothing lines, and there were clothes and blankets hung up on them. The place was a little creepy, but Nix tried not to let it get to her. At least there were a few supplies scattered around. Annie said something, and then the others were looking in the direction of a walker that was slowly approaching.

‘Maybe we can get them to come down here to us,’ Daryl signed as he spoke to the others. Nix raised an eyebrow and look up towards the ceiling, which was as gross as she thought it would be. She looked back around at the others, who covered their ears with their hands. Gabriel sent a few shots to the ceiling, which Nix didn’t hear. She wasn’t sure what she expected. Maybe it was because everyone else could hear it.

The walker came close enough, and their group went into action.

Tying the walker up was far easier than Nix expected. They used some clotheslines and tied them up in an archway, and then went around trying to find good hiding spots. Aaron and Annie hid nearby the walker, and it soon forgot that they were there, hidden by blankets and rotted cloth.

Nix didn’t know where the others had gone to hide but knew that they were going to be capable. They were all listening, waiting for the troopers to enter the sewers and come to their trap.

Nix was hiding with Alden, hidden in a dark corner of the sewers. They were far enough away from the entrance that they wouldn’t be spotted immediately. Alden would move out, and she’d follow. Aaron and Annie would harm the troopers closest, and then they’d all fall into action.

It was a good plan, given how quickly they’d come up with it. But she was still nervous. Hornsby was a smart man, he had to have a few tricks up his sleeves.

Alden moved up, gun aimed at the troopers, and Nix copied him, looking behind her for a second before she settled with her back against the wall; if someone crept up on them in an attempt to flank them, she’d see them. Everyone had their guns up, and she could see her father holding Hornsby hostage, a knife to his throat. Nix thought she saw fear in the man’s eyes, but then more and more troopers arrived, and Nix had to put her back against Alden’s because more were appearing behind them.

Fuck.

Notes:

We're in the last leg of the walking dead. I'm very nervous about the ending of TWD, but the episodes that have come out so far have been very enjoyable (for me anyway). Maybe Nix can solve a few things if things go horrifically wrong.

Chapter 38: The Commonwealth

Chapter Text

They were surrounded. There were troopers everywhere. Oh god, were they going to kill them? None of them were going to make it out, there were so many troopers, and Nix was starting to realise just how fucked they were. Alden’s back was still pressed against hers, and she was certain he was the only thing that kept her standing.

And then Pamela fucking Milton came marching through the sewers with Mercer leading the way. Nix watched as Mercer and Milton walked past her, and she lowered her gun to watch. With Mercer and the Governor of the Commonwealth there, no-one could do anything, kill anyone. Her dad had already acted, turning Hornsby and pinning him against a table of sorts. She couldn’t see their faces, but she could see the fury in her father’s. She could see the way he was breathing heavily, glaring down at Hornsby as Milton and Mercer spoke to him.

How the hell were they down there? How did they know where to find them? Nix was surprised that Pamela Milton had truly come down to the sewers to talk to them and get Hornsby out of the mess he’d put himself in. But then Rick and Carol were walking towards Daryl, and Nix had no fucking clue where they appeared from. Carol could be a ghost when she wanted to be. Maybe that’s why she and Sophia don’t get along anymore, Nix thought before she could stop it. Negan had made a reappearance too, coming to stand by Annie’s side. Clearly their plan had worked on getting him into the Commonwealth. She’d not been keyed into the intimate details, but she knew enough that things were moving in their favour now.

Nix didn’t feel guilty when the satisfaction flooded her as she watched her father stab Hornsby’s hand. Milton looked scandalised at the act, and Carol could barely mask her surprise. That was the least Daryl wanted to do to Hornsby, and Nix knew it. They both wanted him to pay and wanted their communities to be safe from this man.

She watched as her father pulled the knife out, leaving a gaping wound in the palm of Hornsby’s hand. Daryl turned to look at Mercer, hissing something at him before he dropped the knife and walked away.

It was odd now. They didn’t need to use their guns against the troopers, and Milton was taking Maggie and Rick aside to talk to them. They were led out of the sewers, and they went and sat behind a building, sitting around, unsure of what to do. They were waiting for Maggie and Rick to return with information. Nix felt nervous and wanted to vanish. She distrusted everyone who followed Milton.

‘You alright?’ Alden asked, bringing her back to the present.

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘I … I’m not sure what to think of all of this,’ she signed, frowning a little. ‘I want to go home, but I don’t trust that home will be there when we get back.’

‘It will be. We’ll get rid of the troopers, and take back control,’ Alden signed, offering a small smile. ‘We’ll figure it out. Sophia won’t let them take it from us.’

‘That makes me scared. She’s determined and won’t back down. What if she gets herself killed?’

Alden shook his head. ‘She won’t. Enid’s her buffer for that kind of thing. Don’t worry too much,’

Nix nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. When did she become the mother hen? She seemed to worry about her friends and family all the time, and more so when they weren’t nearby. She knew that they were all competent and capable … but not being there, seeing it with her eyes, it didn’t keep her anxieties and worries away for long.

Maggie and Rick returned to them after half an hour and began speaking to them. Nix didn’t really pay attention all that much but was thankful her dad was signing when he caught her watching absently. From what she could gather, they weren’t going to be indebted to the Commonwealth, and they would get enough supplies to rebuild so long as Milton ended up having Hornsby as her captive. It would be up to them in the end if they wanted to return to their communities or stay in the Commonwealth.

Nix knew what hers and Alden’s decision would be. Neither of them wanted to set foot in the Commonwealth in the first place.

But they would also get the chance to tell everyone what Hornsby had done, and how he’d had everyone at Riverbend murdered. On the downside, it meant that Milton was trying to save her son, and all the people he’d got killed would be blamed on Hornsby, and he’d take the fall. Which wasn’t right, but Carol claimed that it wasn’t their problem anymore.

Nix didn’t want to think about the people in the Commonwealth, but she knew how awful life had been before the world tipped itself upside down. Her life hadn’t been easy. She couldn’t think about it. She had a kid to take care of with Alden. But they needed to help their people in the Commonwealth and help get the kids out of there and back home.

God, Nix was tired of fighting, tired of always having to move. She needed to sleep so damn bad.

 


 

 

Nix managed to get some sleep, hidden away in some nook in the building they were using to pack up and collect their supplies. Her, Alden and Adam were asleep together, and Adam moved between them when he woke. He’d sleep in Nix’s arms, resting against her chest, or in Alden’s lap. They’d move off to get food or use the bathroom, but for the most part, they just recovered from the whole ordeal that they’d been through.

It was nice, to just recover. Nix slept a lot in her nook, and Alden took on the whole parenting thing whilst she slept on. She’d fought and killed and had been hurt. Her body needed time to recover.

When she finally woke up properly, she found her dad nudging her shoulder. A day or so seemed to have passed, and things had been put in motion. Nix didn’t mind, though did feel a little bad that she’d left Alden to look after Adam, but he knew her and understood her on a deeper level.

‘Just me,’ he signed to her when she grabbed her knife, on alert and ready to attack. He smiled a little and settled down next to her. ‘Your head hurt?’

‘No more than usual,’ she signed, then rubbed at her eyes. With the number of times she’d hit her head recently, she found she always had a dull headache. She squinted at her dad; nose scrunched up a little. ‘Do you think it’s over?’

“Nah,” Daryl said, shaking his head as he signed, ‘No,’

‘Me too,’ she signed. ‘They won’t want the slate wiped clean because they’ve wasted resources and manpower on us. They have to want something in return. And even if they don’t, they know where we all live, and they have more soldiers than us. That scares me.’

It was easy to admit how scared it made her to her father. He was always the strong one when she’d been growing up. He was smart and knew what to do. He and Rick would presumably talk it out, and figure out where to go from there. Nix could remember the look on Rick’s face down in the sewers, silently fuming and beyond pissed. Hornsby had tried to take from them and had tried to take over their communities.

‘We’re smart. We can do this. If things go sideways, these assholes won’t know what fucking hit them.’

Nix smiled a little and leaned into Daryl’s side. He was so sure, and she had to be too. They had friends and family to look after, and Nix wasn’t going to let them down.

‘I want to see Connie and the others – before I go back with Alden,’ she signed after a minute.

Daryl nodded and slouched down a little, putting his arm around her. ‘You want to go into the Commonwealth?’

‘No. Well, I guess. I just want to see Connie and Kelly – and Magna and Yumiko. I miss them. It’s been too long. We’ve never been apart for this long. It feels like it’s been years since I saw them. So much has changed, and I just … I want my family back.’

‘I get it. I can show you where to go, how to find them. Be a nice surprise for them, yeah?’

Nix nodded. ‘Yeah.’

‘Come on. Let’s go. My back hurts.’ Nix laughed and could only agree. Her back was starting to ache too. She figured she should’ve been lucky to feel the pain; it meant that she was getting old.

Daryl gave her a hand up and then pushed his hand through her hair, frowning a little. ‘You’re going grey like me.’

‘Dixon curse,’ she signed, pushing his hand away. ‘Don’t talk about my grey hairs, you have plenty,’

He rolled his eyes at her and led the way back down to the others. Carol was talking to Alden, Lydia, and Aaron, and Nix could see Adam’s head resting on Alden’s shoulder. She rubbed at her face before she went over to them. Lydia offered a wave before she turned to continue talking to Carol. Aaron moved to talk to Maggie as more people came. Elijah, Jerry, Gracie, and Judith were there with some others, alongside Carl, who beelined for Nix and Alden.

Nix took hold of Adam and watched the two men hug, muttering something to each other, mouths hard to read. Nix didn’t pay it any mind and looked down at Adam.

‘You OK?’ she asked, eyes on Adam’s. He nodded and pointed at her, hand coming to poke at the bruises forming on her face. ‘Me too.’ Adam smiled at her in all his gross toddler glory and rested his head on her shoulder.

Rick appeared, leaning on his cane. Nix watched as he went over to talk to Daryl and Judith. Nix turned her attention back onto Carl and Alden, who were still talking.

‘How’s this place been?’ she asked Carl.

He shrugged a shoulder, looking like he had trouble finding the right words. ‘Different. People stared,’ he signed, shrugging a shoulder. He was wearing a leather eyepatch, and it covered the eye socket, but not the thick scarring around the area. ‘I think I’m glad we’ll be going home,’ he admitted, and Alden said something that had Carl nodding.

‘We’re going to be busy,’ Alden signed to her. ‘The supplies we’re supposed to be getting from Milton. Should keep us occupied.’

‘Always busy, aren’t you?’

Carl frowned and looked towards his father, Daryl and Judith. Carl patted Alden’s shoulder before he moved over to try and talk to his sister, who stalked off, thin-lipped and barely holding in her anger.

‘They look so alike,’ Nix signed, and Alden raised an eyebrow. ‘She’s Rick’s through and through.’

Alden frowned. ‘Why wouldn’t she be Rick’s?’

‘Long story,’ she signed before they had to wave the others off. Aaron, Jerry, Elijah and Lydia were taking supplies back to Alexandria – and probably Oceanside too – ahead of the rest of the supplies that were supposed to be sent. Things were dire back home.

Judith hugged Gracie, who was rightly upset at her father leaving once again. Nix looked down at Adam, who had his eyes half-open, fingers clutching at the neck of her t-shirt. Alden came and stood beside her; arm pressed against hers. They waved the others off until they were out of sight, and Nix tried to ignore the weird feeling in her chest.

 


 

 

‘What the fuck is all this?’ Nix asked, looking around. It felt like she was a kid, head almost twisting and turning to take everything in at once. It was … bizarre. How were people doing this? She could see someone handing out lottery tickets from a booth, ice cream vans stationed almost strategically, and people were just … ambling around like the dead didn’t roam the world outside. It was surreal, like some kind of lucid dream Nix couldn’t get out of.

‘It’s crazy,’ Carl signed, looking a little sympathetic. ‘The housing system is fucked, but we got better places now. We can get away from the crowds if you need to,’ he signed, looking between his friends.

Nix looked to Alden, who also looked overwhelmed by everything. Adam was in his arms, looking around, almost twisting himself out of Alden’s grip. Nix saw the way Adam’s face started to turn red, and Nix nodded to Carl.

He led them further away to a park, just in time for Adam to burst into tears. They went and sat at one of the benches as Adam planted his face in Alden’s chest, his small body heaving and struggling against his crying. Alden seemed to nearly curl up around Adam, head lowered next to his, whispering soothing words to him. Carl looked a little nervous, unsure of what to do.

Eventually, Adam calmed down, eyes red-rimmed, fingers jammed into his mouth. He was clinging onto Alden with his other hand, looking up at Nix sadly.

‘It’s OK,’ she signed to him, and reached over and wiped a few stray tears. She smiled at him, and Adam returned it wobbly.

Their small group got moving again, and they walked through the streets, taking in the views whilst also looking for their friends. Word had gotten around to the others about what had happened, and some people were deciding to pack up, and others weren’t too sure. They saw a few friends, like Nabila and Eugene.

And then Nix spotted Magna. She came to a stop, and Alden did the same, following her gaze. He nudged Nix and nodded his head towards Magna, and she smiled before she made her way over to the woman. Nix managed to sneak up on Magna, and she tapped her hand lightly.

Magna looked at her, then seemed to double-take before she flung her arms around Nix. She stumbled a little under her weight but managed to keep herself upright. She could feel Magna laughing into her neck. They pulled away after a moment, and Magna put her hand on Nix’s cheek, grinning broadly.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked.

‘Getting everyone out of here,’ Nix replied and found herself smiling too. Oh, it was good to be back with Magna. She’d missed her more than she’d let on, and it was good to see her again. The long months without her by her side had been something hard to do. But Magna was right there, looking so damn happy to have Nix there.

‘I can’t wait to go home with you,’ Magna signed, and Nix smiled a little wobbly. She missed Magna and how expressive she could be with Nix. She sometimes looked closed off and didn’t talk to people, but with Nix it was different. ‘This place is … definitely something. They had me be a waitress,’

‘You, a waitress?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘Didn’t you do that before?’

Magna nodded with an exasperated look on her face. ‘Yes, and I hated every fucking second of it.’

Nix laughed, and then Magna was doing the same and hugged her once more.

God, it was good to see Magna again.

Finding the others was easier than Nix expected. With Magna there, she knew where their people tended to hang around. Kelly was the one who spotted them first, and she grabbed her sister’s shoulder before Kelly ran over to them.

‘It’s good to see you again,’ Kelly signed as Connie caught up to them. Connie beamed at her and wrapped her up in a tight hug. Nix felt at ease. She’d missed Connie so damn much and having her there made her feel whole again. She smiled into Connie’s shoulder, arms around her tightly, breathing in her scent.

They pulled away from each other, and Nix found herself smiling broadly at Connie. The others were talking to each other, Kelly talking to Alden and Adam, Magna speaking to Carl.

‘Been fighting again?’ Connie asked, fingers brushing over the bruising on Nix’s face.

‘Not as bad as before,’ she signed. ‘Fighting Hornsby’s men and killing the woman who gave birth to me. The usual,’

Connie frowned at her, taking in the signs before she put both her hands on Nix’s face. She pulled her in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.

‘Been better. Been worse,’ she admitted. Connie sighed a little, fingers going over Nix’s cheeks before she pulled away.

‘You’re ridiculous. Let me see your boy,’ she signed, and the two turned to look at Alden and the others. Connie kept an arm around Nix, and she didn’t mind one bit. It was so … calming to be there with her once more.

Alden offered Adam to Connie, who held him in her arms, pressing her nose to his, a smile on her face. Adam giggled and held onto Connie, a cute little smile on his face. It felt right, having them there again. Alden and Carl explained the plan to leave in further detail; the word had spread that they were to leave the Commonwealth, and everyone was gathering their things. Apart from Ezekiel, from the looks of things. He was talking to kids and gesturing, and Nix thought she caught the word animals on his mouth, but she wasn’t sure. It was hard to understand him at the distance.

Further in the Commonwealth, there seemed to be a gathering. She looked to Alden, who shrugged a shoulder, unsure like her.

‘They’re doing a big celebration – wrestling,’ Connie signed to them. ‘Pamela’s son was caught up in a scandal, and now they’re trying to appease the people. They turned the blame onto Hornsby and now they’re … taking their power back.’

‘With wrestling?’ Nix asked, not quite believing what she was learning. Who the hell was wrestling? Even when she was a little kid, watching on the grainy TV, she thought that the wrestling looked fake as hell. To see it going on in the Commonwealth … well, the Commonwealth was fake too, so she supposed it fitted.

 


 

 

An upside to the Commonwealth, if Nix had to give it one, was that there was ice cream available. Her little family was sitting on a bench, away from the large crowd that was gathering for the public wrestling match. Apparently there was a Founders Day thing going on, but Nix didn’t really care for it. Magna had kindly bought them the ice cream and was a little bit away, near the crowd but close enough to them.

It was funny seeing Adam reacting to having ice cream for the first time. Nix massaged his temples when he grimaced, brain freeze hitting him hard. It didn’t stop him from devouring the food. It was simple vanilla ice cream, and that was more than enough for the kid. He managed to get it all down his front and all over his mouth, but it was alright. It had Nix and Alden smiling at him.

Adam jumped up, and Nix frowned at him before Alden was wiping the boy’s face as good as he could before he took Nix by the hand and led her over to where the wrestling was supposed to be taking place. Nix could see her friends and family dotted around in the crowd, waiting for the wrestling to start. Adam said something to Alden, and then he was lifted up onto Alden’s shoulders to watch.

There was a raised platform beside the wrestling ring and several people walked on it, and Pamela and a young man did. So that was Sebastian Milton. He even looked like bad news. There was something about his face and how he held himself that made Nix feel a little uneasy. She couldn’t hear what they were saying as they spoke into what looked like an old-time microphone, like something Elvis Presley would use.

The three wrestlers looked ridiculous, but they were hyping up the crowd and entertaining everyone. Nix didn’t quite get why people thought wrestling – or any form of fighting as entertainment – was fun. Maybe it was because she’d just been in a fight herself, or because she could see how they were pulling their punches and avoiding actively hitting each other. If they were going to put on a performance, then they should’ve gone all out. That’d put the Commonwealth people in their place, and let them know how bloody things could really be.

Nix looked around and spotted Eugene up in what looked like an audio booth of sorts. She frowned a little before she looked back to the wrestlers. Thankfully, the wrestling had come to an end. The man with the Commonwealth flag tied like a cape had won. Nix saw that one coming from a mile off. These things were always rigged.

Someone brought a metal cage of sorts full of balls, and it reminded Nix of bingo, not that she’d ever done it. She’d heard from the others about the lottery that the Commonwealth did; made a lottery for the poorer people. Nix figured that was also rigged, like almost everything else in the Commonwealth.

The wrestlers left the ring and the Miltons stepped into it. Pamela took hold of the microphone and cheered the wrestlers. The crowd around them applauded and cheered too before Pamela turned and gave the microphone to her son. Nix saw the way Alden had a made of mild disgust beside her, and she snorted a little. He glanced over at her and flashed a smile, hands on Adam’s ankles before he turned to look back at Sebastian.

He was holding something in his hands, some notes, before he stopped and shut his notebook and lowered them to his side and started to speak to the crowd. Nix frowned as she watched him continue to speak. It was odd, and clearly the people of the Commonwealth hadn’t seen it coming. Maybe he was speaking from the heart – or as close to it as he could get to make sure he was on the people’s good side. He backed down from the spotlight and handed the microphone off to his mother, who smiled in that thin-lipped way of hers.

Nix didn’t know what was wrong until Alden’s jaw dropped. She frowned at him, and followed his gaze up to Eugene, in the audio booth with loudspeakers. The crowd started to look at each other, whispering and Alden put his arm around Nix, pulling Adam down from his shoulders.

‘Someone recorded him – slandering this place and everyone,’ Alden signed hurriedly. He was alarmed, and Nix was too. She could see her dad in the crowd with Rick, Judith in front of them. They were talking to each other, mouths barely moving, but she saw the tense expressions on their faces. Whatever Sebastian had said, it wasn’t good.

Well, at least his corruption had finally caught up to him. Nix wanted to know who’d done this and shake their hand.

But then Sebastian Milton was snarling something and jumping into the crowd. Nix looked in time to see a Black woman run through the crowd. Oh, so she was the one to fight back and fuck with Sebastian.

All hell broke loose. People were screaming and fighting against the troopers, who were hitting them with their guns. They were throwing things at Pamela in the wrestling ring. Mercer was moving, shouting commands into his walkie.

Nix and Alden started moving too, getting out of the way of the crowd. ‘That woman,’ she signed. Alden clenched his jaw before he nodded. Holding Adam safe against his chest, Alden followed Nix through the crowd. It was hard to try and keep track of the woman. People were pushing Nix and running or trying to stir up a fight or two. But the woman was going with the crowd, and it was easy to catch up to her.

Until the crowd started to turn back and run. Nix caught up to the woman and was quick to catch her breath. She saw the small group of walkers approaching and her stomach twisted. They were freshly turned, workers, and they had bullet holes in their clothes. Fuck.

The woman jerked when she saw Nix, and she grabbed the woman’s arm and led her to the side. Everyone had turned back, and no-one had thought to scatter. The people were hard to move through, and avoiding the walkers and Sebastian was proving hard to do. The woman’s grip on her arm was tight, and Nix was aware that Alden and Adam had been separated from her. She wasn’t sure where the hell Alden was, but she knew he was capable and knew what to do.

Sebastian Milton seemed to steamroll into Nix and knocked her to the side. She yelped in pain when her already sore head connected to the cobbled ground. Her vision darkened a little, and the world spun before it cleared. The walker was on top of her immediately, and she panicked, hand going to its throat, stopping it from chomping down on her. Her bow had been knocked to the side, and her arrows had scattered. Where was her knife again?

The walker continued to snap, teeth too close for comfort, hands trying to tear into her skin. Freshly turned walkers were the worst to deal with. With her free hand, Nix reached down for her knife as she pushed her knee up into the gut of the walker to try and keep it as far away as possible. Her fingers wrapped around the hilt of her knife, and then she plunged it into the skull. It wasn’t soft like the walkers she normally dealt with. The extra force she’d put into it sent the walker tumbling off her, dead. God, it’d only happened over the course of a few seconds, but it was always a little bit scary.

There were more walkers to deal with, and the woman was long gone. Nix didn’t know where she was, or where her people were. Fuck the Commonwealth and all the people panicking. Had they somehow forgotten that the dead were still a threat? Did they not ever have an incident in the hospital? It was ridiculous, and not something Nix could think about right now.

She moved into a crouch and grabbed her bow and arrows and moved around the crowd. People were getting bitten by the dead, and Nix and her people were already in action. Taking care of the dead was as easy as breathing. Carl appeared by her side, his own gun in hand as he shot walker after walker. There were more than what Nix thought there would be, and it didn’t help that the people in the crowd were running and making it hard to deal with.

They shot walker after walker until peace seemed to finally come.

Carl grabbed her shoulder, and she looked around to see in the distance, a crowd gathering. ‘Sebastian – got bit. He was shouting for help, and no-one came.’

Nix didn’t mention how she thought he’d deserved it. ‘We should go. Where’s Alden?’

‘I don’t know. Come on.’

Carl took her hand and led her through the crowd as they all started to panic once more now that the shock of Sebastian’s death had settled in. The troopers were coming in to do crowd control, but nothing was working. Nix held onto Carl’s hand as tightly as she could, ignoring how the idiots of the Commonwealth were knocking into her, trying to run away and do something stupid.

A large man bumped hard into Carl, and his hand slipped from Nix’s hand. She immediately lost sight of him, and through the thick crowd, she couldn’t see her friends or family. All she could do was let the crowd move her, and she was careful to edge towards the buildings. It was all happening so damn fast, and Nix was struggling to keep track of where she was going. She didn’t understand the land of the Commonwealth, and it was so damn confusing.

A door to one of the buildings opened, and Nix saw a flash of Magna’s hair before the woman was pulling her inside. She stumbled over the threshold, but she was so damn glad that she was with someone she recognised.

‘You alright?’ she asked as she shut the door and placed the barricade back in place.

Nix nodded and looked around the area. Alden was there with Adam, and she felt relief at the sight of them. Connie and Kelly were there too, looking unnerved by the crowd losing control.

‘Where the fuck did the sickos come from?’ Nix asked before she moved over to Alden and Adam. The boy looked like he’d been crying again, and he’d jammed some fingers into his mouth, eyes teary. She took him in her arms when he reached out for her with his other arm. She was so damn glad that he was OK.

‘We don’t know,’ Kelly signed. ‘We can’t go back out there, it’s not safe. The crowd’s dangerous and the troopers are hitting people.’

Nix agreed that the crowd was dangerous and that the scene outside was unsafe. But how long would it take for the crowd to settle down? Were there any more walkers? People had been bitten, how long were they going to take before they turned too?

There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. Nix and her group were supposed to leave; what would Pamela and her troopers think of them hiding away after a walker attack?

‘We’ll figure this out.’ Connie signed, a confident look on her face.

Nix nodded; of course they’d figure it out. They’d deal with the hand that’d be given to them, deal with whatever Pamela would send their way. God, her son had just died, she was going to lose her fucking mind. That woman had only just dealt with the betrayal from Hornsby, and now her son was dead. Nix was worried that she’d do something irrational. They had to be careful and know what could lay ahead of them.

Chapter 39: Fighting Back

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Once the crowd had been dispersed and controlled, Nix and the others left the building. They went with the others, going to their apartments. Nix and Alden, with Adam, went to Connie and Kelly’s place. It was alright until the troopers came, asking for people who were associates of Eugene Porter. It turned out that Eugene was responsible for Sebastian’s death. Nix wasn’t sure what had gone down, but she knew that he wasn’t the only one to blame. No-one had gone to help Sebastian when was struggling with the walker.

The troopers didn’t seem to understand how two people could be deaf and seemed to only believe that Connie was deaf. It ended with Nix in cuffs, and Kelly and Alden shouting furiously. Nix didn’t really care all that much, knowing that her father or Rick would be enraged and back her up.

The police station that she was sent to was … kind of shit. The troopers lounged around and didn’t look pleased to see her there. She ended up in an interrogation room, hands cuffed to the table. It bothered her that her wrists were hurting, and they’d taken her weapons, but she knew there wasn’t much that she could do.

Several hours passed before Rick Grimes hobbled into her interrogation room with Mercer following behind him. Rick glared at Nix’s cuffed hands before he pointed at them and turned to hiss something at Mercer. The man reached over and uncuffed her, and she looked down at her wrists, rubbing them.

‘What the fuck,’ she signed absently, looking to Rick as he settled down beside her.

‘I’m to be your interpreter. The Commonwealth doesn’t have one,’

‘They just hate deaf people,’ she signed. ‘Where’s Alden and Adam?’ she asked, and Rick turned to Mercer to ask.

‘They're safe. He wants to do this properly. He’s reading your file,’

She had a file? Who the fuck made a file on her? “Phoenix Dixon, currently a transient in the Commonwealth, currently unemployed. Resident of Hilltop.” Mercer read from the file. Rick was signing along. “Unmarried with one adopted son, Adam Sutton. Do you verify the information to be true?”

Nix narrowed her eyes at him, disbelieving what was going on in front of her. ‘Where did you find out my full name?’

Rick pressed his fingers to his nose. ‘Answer it please, Nix,’

Nix nodded her head once, confirming what Mercer said. ‘Where are my boys?’

‘He says that Adam has been left in Connie’s care, and Alden is in another room awaiting interrogation.’

Nix clenched her jaw. ‘I want my boys.’

“You’ll get them back,” Mercer promised. He said something else, and Nix looked to Rick.

‘He wants to know where you were during the riot,’

‘Caught in the middle of it. Separated from Alden, saw that Black woman and tried to help her,’

‘Black woman?’ Rick asked.

Nix nodded. ‘Yeah, short woman, wore a red cardigan, I think. Glasses. Her hair looked like a wig,’

“She was with your sister,” Rick said. ‘Her name is Max. She was wearing red, right?’ Nix nodded. ‘What happened after?’

‘The walkers came. Sebastian knocked me over to get to her. I lost her when a walker tried to eat me,’ she signed. ‘Then Carl found me, and we killed the walkers. When the crowd went crazy, I lost sight of Carl.’

Mercer said something else, closed mouth and expressionless. ‘He’s curious why you’re telling him so much,’

‘Cops are bastards. If I give you too little information, I’m hiding something. I’m telling you how it happened, I’m covering for someone or lying. You can never win.’

Mercer narrowed his eyes at her for a brief moment. He pulled a photograph out and turned it to her. It was the woman – Max. “You were with her briefly?” Nix nodded, then raised an eyebrow at Mercer.

He looked to Rick and spoke again. Nix rolled her eyes. Every goddamn time.

“Eugene doesn’t know sign language,” Rick said clearly. “They’ve never spoken.” He turned to Nix. ‘Have you ever spoken to Eugene?’ he asked.

‘No,’ Nix signed, surprised to find that she hadn’t really talked to him. He’d always been busy, living in Alexandria, or busy in the attic or helping with defences. She’d not taught him sign language, and although he was a smart man, he … hadn’t really communicated with Nix. She wasn’t fond of how he spoke, too fast with a lot of long words that didn’t make sense.

‘Have you seen Eugene since the celebrations?’

‘No,’

“You sure?”

‘Yes.’

Nix looked to Rick. ‘Tell him I want to see my boys right now or I’m going to tear this fucking place apart.’

Rick smiled at her a little before he calmly turned to Mercer. “Nix isn’t known for her patience. She wants to see her partner and son now. She’s not asking.”

Mercer’s face twitched like he was going to smile. He nodded and got to his feet and let the two leave, not before handing Nix’s weapons back over.

‘You OK?’ Rick asked as Nix shouldered her bow, fingers going to the fletchings of her arrows.

She nodded. ‘I’m alright. Desperate for the restroom. Isn’t it illegal to withhold basic rights?’

‘I’ll have a word with them.’ Rick led the way and opened the door to one of the rooms. Alden was there, and he got to his feet immediately, a stressed look in his eyes.

‘Adam’s OK, he’s with Connie,’ he signed before Nix put her arms around him. She nodded and the two pulled apart and let Rick show them out of the building.

‘Fuck this place, we need to leave.’ Nix signed, and Alden nodded in agreement. She looked to Rick. ‘Have you heard from home?’

Rick shook his head. ‘Communications are down.’

‘Yeah, right,’ Nix signed, not believing that for a second.

“Go and get your boy and get the fuck outta here. You’ve been here long enough.”

Nix and Alden nodded, and Rick clasped Alden’s shoulder for a brief moment before he let the two leave.

‘They had us in there for hours,’ Alden signed, frustrated.

‘Yeah. I needed to piss so bad. We both know that Eugene’s not at fault, right?’

Alden nodded. ‘No-one helped him when the walker fell on him. They gathered around to watch.’ He pushed a hand through his hair – it’d been very messy to begin with and was only getting worse.

They held hands tightly as they made their way back to Connie’s apartment. She was there bouncing Adam on her hip, signing to him to keep him distracted. He looked around at the sound of the door opening and held his arms out for them. Connie crossed the apartment in a few short strides and let Adam out of her grip so he could cling to the two of them.

‘You were gone a while,’ Connie signed. ‘Did they interrogate you?’

The two nodded. ‘Rick was my interpreter. He didn’t look impressed. I was sat around bored for the most part.’

Alden jerked his head to Nix. ‘The same, mostly. The troopers kept asking me the same questions before Mercer told them it was useless. If Nix didn’t know Eugene well enough, then I didn’t too.’

‘He had a file on me and knew my full name. Weird.’

Connie rolled her eyes a little. ‘They probably got it from your dad,’ she signed. ‘I’ll see you when we’re meant to leave, OK?’

Nix nodded and pulled away from Alden and Adam to hug her briefly. So much had gone wrong the last few days, Nix was just glad to see Connie once more.

‘See you soon.’

 


 

 

It took a day to try and get everything together, to get everything sorted and everyone regrouped. During that time, Max had been caught by the troopers, and Daryl and some others had been planning to smuggle Eugene out of the Commonwealth. That idea had taken a backseat when Eugene offered himself up for Max’s safety.

‘Can you grab my spear?’ Alden asked. ‘I left it out back.’

Nix nodded and kissed him before she went around the back of the building. Her dad was with Alden too, setting up the last of the supplies they’d be taking. Everything was almost done. Nix was so damn excited to be going back. Sure the Hilltop was in ruins, probably worse off than before, but she was going to go home with her family – all of her family.

She cleared her throat a little as she made her way around the back and found Alden’s spear perched up against the wall. He’d put it back there for cleaning, and mostly to keep Adam away from it. He’d never had the time to clean it; it still had walker blood on it, dried and peeling. There were some brains and bones stuck to it. He really needed to get it cleaned.

Nix grabbed it and twisted it around, feeling the weight of it in her hands. Eh, not her type of weapon. She did like how Alden looked with it though.

Something glinted off the spearhead, and she looked around, confused. Her heart leapt into her throat and she dove to the side as the knife whizzed through the air, embedding itself in the wall. She looked up, hand going to her knife. She threw it back at one of the assailants and moved through the tall grass. She was getting flashbacks to when she went into the city – the bandits.

She couldn’t think about them now. She’d survived that, she could handle these two assholes.

Her knife’d caught in one man’s arm, and she took hold of the spear and got to her feet to throw it at the second one. It went straight through his guts, and she turned to the one with her knife. He’d pulled it out now, not that it mattered. Nix dodged the knife as he swiped at her. She kicked him in the gut and he stumbled back, but she was already advancing on him. She pulled an arrow out from her quiver and slammed it into the man’s neck. The end protruded out of the other side, and he choked. With her free hand, she grabbed her knife and stabbed the man in the head. He fell to the floor and Nix pulled her knife out and then pulled her arrow back out.

She looked around, tense, before she rushed over and grabbed Alden’s spear, stabbing the end through the man’s head before she rushed to the other side. If she’d been attacked, and no-one had come to help, then the others had to be in trouble too.

Alden and Adam were gone, and there were two men attacking her father.

Nix didn’t think twice. The spear was in her hand one second, and the next it was stuck between a man’s ribs. He stumbled back, but her bow was raised, an arrow nocked, and the second man took an arrow to the throat. She rushed over to her dad and gave him a hand up.

‘Where’s Alden and Adam?’ she asked.

‘Gone. There were so many guys. One took Adam, the others took us on. They took them.’

‘Fuck.’ Nix gritted her teeth before she moved over and took the spear. She saw her dad go to the other man, took her arrow from him and stabbed him with one of his knives.

‘They took everyone – they’ve taken our kids.’ Daryl signed, and he grabbed Nix’s shoulder, and she turned to look at him. ‘We’ll get them back.’

She could only nod. What the fuck was she going to do? She had no idea who those people were, and it wasn’t like she could go and shoot Pamela Milton or torture her to get the information out of her. Where the hell could they have taken her boys?

Daryl jerked into some fighting stance, and Nix moved and did the same, but it was only Carol. Daryl said something to her, and her response was clear, “They took everyone.”

Nix followed after the two, leaving the building, and grabbing her backpack as she went. They moved around the back, where Nix had taken on the two who’d gone after her. They had to have been watching, waiting for a good time to jump them. She kept pace with them as they spoke to each other. Daryl was signing a little to keep Nix in the loop. They’d jumped him and Alden and had even taken Dog.

‘You think they were troopers?’ Carol asked as they rounded a corner.

‘We think they were working for Pamela,’ he signed, pointing to himself and Nix. “We gotta find Mercer.”

‘He’s Pamela’s bitch,’ Nix signed and grabbed Carol’s arm so she saw. Carol verbalised it as she took an arrow from her quiver. The three came to a crouch and Carol said something else that Nix couldn’t catch.

‘There’s one other person,’ Carol signed after a moment. The two Dixons looked at her, and then the lightbulbs went off in hers and her dad’s heads at the same time.

Lance fucking Hornsby.

‘Are we that desperate?’ she asked.

“He knows all the dark shit that goes on here,” she said. “He’s our best shot,” she added to Nix before she turned and said something to Daryl. The two said some more that Nix couldn’t catch, and she only rolled her eyes hard once at the action. It was forever annoying when they wouldn’t sign.

‘Let’s go,’ Daryl signed to her.

He explained the plan as they snuck through the Commonwealth. Carol knew where Hornsby was being held, and they had to get to him without being seen by the soldiers or the people that Pamela had hired. It wasn’t going to be easy, but they were experienced.

Carol knew the back alleys and hidden tunnels better than the residents of the Commonwealth. It was almost unnerving how good she was at this, but Nix didn’t care. She was pissed that they were having to go to fucking Hornsby of all people, but they were desperate for their people back. They knew that they were going to be in danger, and would be risking everything trying to make it to Hornsby and getting him out of whatever shit hole Pamela had put him in.

They came across troopers patrolling the nasty building Hornsby was in. The three were meticulous as they snuck through the hallways. Daryl and Carol scouted ahead and took out the troopers whilst Nix brought up the rear, making sure no troopers snuck up on them.

Nix became Carol’s shadow, following her every move once they got to the main patrolled corridor.

‘He’s in this one,’ Carol signed to them. They took out the soldier who was standing still, and then Daryl moved across the entryway. The second trooper walked down the corridor, completely unaware of them. He picked up the pace when he turned around and realised his friend wasn’t there. Bows raised, arrows nocked and ready, Nix and Carol waited. The trooper appeared, and their arrows went into the exposed area of his armour.

Daryl moved forwards and grabbed him. He pulled the helmet off and slammed the man’s head into the wall. He was still once he fell to the floor, but Nix saw the slight rise and fall of his chest. Nix and Carol looked around and made sure there were no more soldiers around as Daryl zip-tied the trooper and took his keys. Carol caught them when he threw them to her, and the three of them looked into the cells. They didn’t find Hornsby until the very last one at the end of the corridor.

Nix grimaced when she looked into the cell. There was blood everywhere, and she could just see Hornsby. He had blood all over him too and was muttering to himself as he twisted something around between his fingers.

‘Batshit crazy,’ Nix signed to herself. She stepped back as Daryl and Carol looked inside.

‘Walker inside,’ Daryl told her before they opened up the cell. The scent of blood and guts and rotting flesh hit her like a wave, and she grimaced as she and her father and Carol stepped inside.

Hornsby didn’t acknowledge them, muttering to himself, turning the coin over in his hands. Nix looked at the walker and felt something twist uncomfortably in her stomach. The walker was Sebastian Milton. She stared at him, stunned. How could Pamela let her son turn? It wasn’t Sebastian anymore, just a thing that wanted to tear into human flesh and would decay and rot and become nothing more than putrid flesh and bone.

If Adam ever died, she knew what she would have to do. She knew she’d have to if it came down to it, but she hoped to hell she never had to. She knew she’d have to do the same to Alden, and the thought terrified her. But she knew it wouldn’t be them anymore. How could Pamela let this rotting corpse continue on? Her son was dead and gone, had been the moment he stopped breathing.

They stepped further into the cell, and the walker took notice of them. It was still chained to the wall and didn’t have an appetite for the flesh and guts in front of it. Nix didn’t want to know who that’d been, but the flesh had clearly gone off for the walker’s tastes. It tried to snap at them but couldn’t get close enough. Nix watched as her father stabbed the walker, feeling only a little bit bad for Sebastian. He’d been a prick, but his body shouldn’t have been let like that.

Nix could only watch as her father hauled Hornsby to his feet, hands on his throat as he slammed him into the wall. She didn’t care what happened to Hornsby, so long as she got her people back. She watched as Daryl put his hand over Hornsby’s mouth, and then put pressure on the stitches on his face. Nix grimaced, the ghost of a blade against her own face making her feel uncomfortable. Her face had healed up alright, but there were ghosts lingering around her, echoes of pain and sharp blades.

Then Daryl was pulling back, rearing to punch Hornsby, but Carol was stopping him. He stepped to the side as Carol moved up into Hornsby’s space, whispering something to him. Nix didn’t have a clue as to what Carol was doing, but she knew the woman was manipulative when she had to be. She’d heard all the stories and was witnessing a new one herself.

She was saying something, and pulled out her knife and very carefully held it in front of Hornsby’s face. She moved the knife and pressed the edge of it against his cheek, the tip of it close to his eye. He looked completely manic as he turned his head to look at her. He didn’t speak, and Carol glanced at Daryl who nodded, and she turned back to Hornsby, knife moving to cut into him.

Then Hornsby spoke. He continued to say something, and his mouth hardly moved. Whatever he said, it appeased Carol and Daryl. They made to move before Daryl stopped Hornsby and pointed down at his ankle.

It was like an ankle monitor. Whatever Hornsby said, it had Daryl whip his knife out, ready to cut it. They were damn near impossible to cut off with a knife. Carol said something about running fast, but then Hornsby stopped. He said something and then turned to look at the walker.

Nix had seen a lot of things in her life, but the way Hornsby meticulously destroyed the head beyond recognition was something she’d not forget for a long while. To top it all off, he placed his coin in the middle of the brains and bone and gore.

What the fuck were they getting themselves into?

 


 

 

Escaping did not go to plan. Nix didn’t think it would. They ran out of the cell, and Nix grabbed a gun off one of the unconscious troopers as they ran. It only took rounding one corner before a red light started flashing. They’d not gotten far before the ankle monitor had triggered the alarms. Now all four of them were running, and Carol was leading the way with Hornsby shouting directions to her.

Carol started to turn right once they got to the end of the corridor, but then bullets were ricocheting off the wall and sparking. Nix twisted and flung herself to the side, separated from

They turned right at the end of one corridor just as the troopers appeared at the other end. Nix flung herself to the side, taking cover as Daryl, Carol and Hornsby managed to go right, but Daryl was already returning fire.

Carol shouted something to Daryl, who shouted something back before helping Nix lay down fire on the troopers. Carol looked at the two for a brief moment before she was following Hornsby out.

‘Three troopers. Two on your side, one on mine,’ Daryl signed to her. She nodded, holding the gun steady before she turned around the corner and shot at the one on her father’s side.

‘Advancing,’ Nix signed once she’d ducked back out of sight. She saw her dad nod before the two of them shot again. The one Nix was aiming at jerked when an arrow caught his hip between his armour, and his neck was exposed –

And Nix managed a shot in the neck and the man went down, blood pooling around him. She moved back out of harm’s way, suddenly aware of how laboured her breathing was. She must’ve been holding her breath when firing the gun. Not the time for thinking about it. She turned back and saw only one trooper left; her dad’d nailed the second one. The third one went down when they converged on him, and he shuddered until he stopped breathing. The two of them rushed forwards and grabbed some more ammo off the troopers’ bodies before they ran out of the doorway Hornsby and Carol went through.

‘Back alleys, hide in the shadows. Follow me.’

Nix followed her father through the narrow alleys between buildings and jerked out of sight of troopers. It was … kind of easy, all things considered. With their helmets and absolute idiocy, the troopers weren’t observant. Nix wasn’t sure what they were doing, but they knew that Hornsby had escaped. They had to send out a group to go and capture him. So she followed her dad, watching his face as he listened hard to walkies and conversations once they got to the compound full of vehicles.

Daryl tapped her arm, and he gestured forwards. She nodded and followed his lead, moving forwards in a crouch to one of the Jeeps. They went into the trunk of it, crammed together, their breaths warm and uncomfortable. There was a tarp that covered them, and all they could do was wait. Nix could barely make out her father’s face, and it was a little odd to be so close to him in such a small space. At least she wasn’t claustrophobic.

She could only watch as her dad listened hard to the conversations around them, a frown on his face, eyes staring at the tarp. He was holding his gun tightly, crossbow awkwardly on his hip. They had too many weapons; Nix still had that big gun, her bow and the quiver, plus Alden’s spear. She didn’t want to lose it, and now it was crossed over them to compensate for how long it was.

There was some bumping and shaking of the Jeep before Nix felt the engine come to life. and then they were shooting off at high speeds.

‘Two bikes and us,’ Daryl signed to her. ‘Have to wait it out.’

Nix gave the barest hint of a nod and clenched her jaw, feeling tense and restless. She had to think of it like hunting. She was waiting for her prey to come into her sight, or to go into a trap, and then she could deal with them. The troopers hadn’t checked under the tarp, and the trunk hadn’t been opened. The ride was uncomfortable, and their knees kept bumping together. There were a few small holes that let some sunlight come in, and they could see the sun was starting to set.

It soon got dark, the sun setting quickly. Nix was tense as she waited for her dad to let her know what was going on. It took several long minutes before the car came to a stop. Nix frowned, squinting through the darkness at her dad. He held a finger up, and they waited the seconds and long minutes out.

‘Follow me,’ he signed before he opened up the trunk. The door didn’t creak, and he climbed out carefully. Nix glanced around and followed him. There were several troopers standing with their backs to them, guns raised at Carol and Hornsby. They were completely unaware of the Dixons behind them. She saw her dad nod, and the two shot at the men.

Their bodies jerked, and their armour was useless against the high-powered guns. Carol looked relieved to see them there after she stabbed one of the men who tried to reach for his gun, whilst Hornsby … looked completely manic. He was still covered in blood, and his eyes were wide and unsettling.

‘Let’s go,’ Daryl signed.

Carol grabbed the keys off one of the troopers, and the four of them clambered into the Jeep. Nix took shotgun before Carol could take it. She was not sitting in the back with fucking Hornsby of all people.

Notes:

I watched the series finale today (as a Brit, the eps air on Mondays), and it was an emotional rollercoaster, but I liked how it ended. I won't spoil it here, but holy shit, what an episode. I'm sad that it's over, but there's spin-offs to look forward to.

Chapter 40: Train Tracks

Chapter Text

Nix climbed out of the car with her dad and offered Carol a hand out of the vehicle before they watched Daryl move forwards, towards the large expanse of land. There was a building in the fields, and Daryl pulled out some binoculars to get a better picture of whatever it was there. He stared at it for a long moment before he put the binoculars down and turned to walk back to them.

‘Two troopers, walking the perimeter in shifts,’ Daryl signed to her as he said something similar to Carol. Beside them, Hornsby was rubbing his arm out of nerves. They made to move back to the car but paused. Daryl and Carol turned to look at Hornsby. He was still facing the building, talking to them.

“Then what?” Carol asked, eyes on Hornsby.

The man turned to look at them and said something about their friends. Nix frowned at him, not too sure if she believed him or not. It was hard to try and understand what he was saying through the darkness, and she didn’t trust the man at all. He kept rubbing his arm as he looked back to the building. He kept talking, and then she saw her dad and Carol look at each other. Nix frowned and shoved at Daryl’s arm.

‘He’s said the Commonwealth has a working train – he knows the track it takes,’

‘What the fuck?’ she asked. Well, at least the building made sense, it was like a train station that the Commonwealth had to have built for the train.

Daryl shrugged. ‘It was part of a plan to expand the Commonwealth’s reach,’ he signed to her, glancing back at Carol. ‘Connect communities like ours – all the way to the sea.’

‘That’s such bullshit.’ Nix signed as Carol said something. Whatever she said, it had Hornsby look back at them. He didn’t say anything for a short moment before he looked up at the sky, and Nix caught the word ‘dawn’. They had plenty of time before dawn broke out.

Daryl pressed his arm against hers as he said something to Hornsby. “We will, but you won’t.”

Nix’s fingers tightened around the riser of her bow, her other hand reaching for an arrow. Hornsby looked at them, and Nix thought he looked a little bit surprised at the words. He had to have known he wasn’t going to make it too far, didn’t he? He was expendable, and he’d given them enough information that they didn’t need him anymore. Not to mention he was still pretty manic, and the three didn’t trust him.

“You can’t get there without me,” Hornsby said, words clear enough for Nix to catch. An arrow was nocked into her bow, ready for if he tried to retaliate. Nix could see Daryl and Carol talking, calm but without room for argument. They weren’t going to take Hornsby with them. They could take it from there. “But you still need me,” he said and seemed to speak quickly to try and get his point across to Carol. Nix clenched her jaw a little, just waiting for him to leave or to try and fight back. She was ready to take this man’s life.

There’d been a time when she was apprehensive about killing people. She’d changed so much since then.

Hornsby didn’t quite understand, as he kept talking, trying to convince them. He was eager to stay alive and to get them to trust him. Nix hadn’t trusted him since he first stepped foot in Alexandria, and she knew she’d been right not to trust him. All she could do was watch as he spoke to them, and he seemed to realise he was fucked.

“So you’re just going to kill me?” he asked and laughed a little out of nerves.

“You can run,” Carol offered. Shock settled in his face before realisation took over. He had one chance, to run and never come back. Nix resisted the urge to laugh. Hornsby looked pitiful, terrified of the idea of running and having to survive on his own. Did he not understand how to live outside of the safety of walls?

“It’s more than you deserve,” Daryl said, but Hornsby kept talking. Whatever he said, it got Daryl to respond with, “Good,” and that seemed to make him realise there was no way they were taking him with them. He realised that he was on his own. He said something more before Daryl stepped forwards, which scared the hell out of Hornsby, as he started to back up. Nix held her bowstring, fingers around the nocking point. Hornsby wasn’t going to run. She knew what guys like him would do. He was manipulative and a coward and wouldn’t survive a night out in the wasteland.

Hornsby turned around and started to walk away slowly. He took slow steps like he was terrified and knew he was out of his depth. He started to make it past the Jeep, and Nix gripped the bow tightly, ready for him to do something stupid.

He turned and reached for something in the trunk, but Nix was already moving. Her dad’s crossbow was still on his back, and Carol’s bow was coming up just a little bit slower than Nix’s. Her arrow shot through the air and landed in Hornsby’s throat, and Carol’s went through his cheek. He barely had time to raise the gun.

He dropped it and fell to his knees before he fell backwards. Nix didn’t feel anything. She moved forwards and the two with her did the same. Nix collected their arrows, ignoring the way Hornsby was choking on his blood. She turned back and clambered into the back of the Jeep and they rode off, leaving him there to turn.

Nix didn’t feel bad about that at all.

 


 

 

They’d taken turns trying to rest once they’d gotten to the next waypoint. Nix didn’t get much sleep, and she doubted Daryl or Carol did either. But now the sun had risen, and they were looking down at the tracks, where several troopers were stationed.

‘Six of them,’ Daryl signed, glancing at the two with him before he was looking back through the binoculars.

Nix squinted through the morning sun, and her stomach did a weird flip when she saw what was unmistakably a train rolling up on the tracks. Daryl looked back at them, a look of surprise on his face before he was peering through the binoculars again. It came to a stop, and it looked like a freight train. There weren’t any carriages for passengers, but there were a few motorbikes and some jeeps in clear view, held down.

Carol asked something of Daryl, and he said something that Nix didn’t catch. She rolled her eyes a little, annoyed at the lack of sign language, and nudged Carol. ‘If we hang back enough, they won’t notice us following,’

They looked to the side, and Nix followed their gaze and saw a jeep coming from their right. There was a trooper, someone in the passenger seat, and another in the back. Nix couldn’t see who they were at the distance, but her anxieties were spiking up again. And then she realised she recognised the person’s hair, the skin tone and how she walked. They had Connie.

Daryl handed the binoculars over and Nix took them, locking onto Connie. Her hands had been zip-tied and those assholes were near enough dragging her around before they came to stop and talk to someone. She lowered the binoculars and saw Carol pull out a walkie they’d stolen from the troopers. She was holding it tightly and Daryl stared down at the object, anger in his eyes.

‘What were they saying?’ she asked as Daryl took the binoculars from her.

‘She’s designation two, not a worker. She’s been exiled,’ Carol explained.

‘We can’t go get her,’ Daryl added, and the look on his face told Nix that he wanted nothing more than to go in there guns blazing to get Connie back. ‘They’ll radio ahead,’

Nix forced her breathing to steady, and willed the tears to go away. ‘We hang back, follow it. We stick to that plan. Create a diversion, get Connie without them noticing, and follow it to the others and our kids.’

The train started moving, and Nix wondered if they blew the horn. If there were any walkers in the area, it would bring them there. But if there were other people – their people – then maybe they’d figure out a way to regroup.

Nix looked at her dad and saw the way he was gnawing on his lip before he turned to them and nodded. They went back into the jeep, and Nix grabbed shotgun. It was uncomfortable in the back. Daryl took the driver’s seat, and Carol was barely in the back safely before they shot off, racing after the train. Nix looked at the tracks as they stayed on the left of them. They didn’t look like the ones from Before, they looked almost new, from the metal and the panels of wood. The train continued on ahead of them and moved across the road. Oh, these were definitely new tracks.

The tracks twisted out of view, and it was hard to try and keep it in their sights.

‘Get ahead of it,’ Nix signed, eyes narrowed as she tried to keep her eyes on the train through the trees. She held onto the dashboard tightly as Daryl picked up the speed, and the bumpiness of the ride increased. They managed to get ahead of it on the road they were on, and they drove near parallel to the tracks before they curved.

They got out of the jeep once they got to some building out of the way. It wasn’t much of a place, but it had shelter and space, like a waystation. It would do for now, and they could see a series of train tracks not that far from them. A junction maybe. So the three of them settled in and got ready for when the train would come by.

Carol took the binoculars from Daryl and looked at the tracks. Nix settled herself up on the hood of the jeep, not sure what else to do. Her backpack was in her lap, Alden’s spear strapped to it, the end just touching the floor. Her hands kept going over it, and she had to stop herself from doing it all the time.

‘It’s a junction there, the train will hit it,’ Daryl signed for Nix. ‘She thinks we should sit tight until it does,’

‘You’re not happy with that,’

Daryl shrugged a shoulder. ‘It’s Connie. They have her,’

‘I know. But she’s smart, and she knows how to handle herself. Trust me, I’ve seen her in action,’ she signed. Daryl smiled a little and looked away. Nix reached out and grabbed his shoulder. ‘If we go in and try and cut them off now, then we might never get the kids back or find out where the train is going. We wait it out like we do with a hunt.’ She paused when she saw Carol approach, and she looked away, hands going to the spear. She’d to attach it to her backpack, and she wasn’t sure what to do. She hated the idea of just waiting around, waiting until the train caught up to them. But she couldn’t do anything else. There was dread in the pit of her stomach, that something bad had happened to Alden, that he’d been hurt and could be dying. He couldn’t be. He was too damn stubborn. They had Adam to look after, and Nix was going to move heaven and earth to get that kid back.

Maybe that was what it meant to be a mother.

It’d always made her feel just a little bit weird, the title something she’d never expected to have. But she had it and had let it grow into something she liked. Adam was her son, regardless of if he was blood or not. He called her mama, smiled so damn brightly for her, and she fucking loved him. Her, Alden and Adam. It was them. She wasn’t going to let Pamela or any of the assholes from the Commonwealth take them from her.

Daryl and Carol looked around, eyes on the tracks. ‘Train horn,’ Daryl signed before Carol was grabbing the walkie out of her bag. ‘Trooper checking in, the crossing’s clear. No sign of them,’ he signed, hands slowing on the last sentence. ‘Them?’ he asked.

Nix shrugged a shoulder, not sure. They paused, eyes on the walkie before Daryl and Carol jerked up.

They moved into action. Carol jumped into the back of the jeep and Nix climbed over the windshield. Daryl started the car, and Nix bumped into the seat as they sped off.

‘Gunshot,’ Carol signed when she got the chance. Nix nodded, hand going to the gun she had. She had to shift her backpack off and shoved it into the leg space, spear resting against her knee. They got there in time to see Maggie had put down a child walker and had knocked a trooper unconscious. She was holding the kid walker, eyes a little red, face wet.

Nix climbed out of the car first and made her way over to Maggie. She knelt down in front of her and took the weapon from her. It looked like a large nail, used to keep the tracks down. Neither of them said anything as they lifted the kid up and moved him to the side. Nix helped Maggie until she could move away from the kid. Daryl took the trooper’s bike back, and the three women took the car back, with the trooper in the back with Carol. Nix drove, and Maggie stayed quiet, hand on Alden’s spear.

 


 

 

They were back at the waystation, and Nix was sitting to the side, away from the others. Daryl’d taken the trooper into the building and was presumably beating the shit out of him to try and get him to tell them where the kids were or where the train was going. Maggie and Carol were by the jeep, talking together. Nix felt out of place, so put herself out of the way. The train was taking what felt like an age, and she desperately wanted to find her friends and family.

Over by the jeep, Carol pulled Maggie into her arms. Nix frowned a little, not sure what they were doing or talking about, and looked away to give them some semblance of privacy. That was soon gone when she saw two figures approaching. Nix got up and moved forwards, and realised it was Rosita and Gabriel. They rushed forwards and hugged Carol and Maggie before Rosita turned and hugged Nix. A little apprehensive, Gabriel gave her a nod. She offered a smile and opened her arms, and he hugged her. She was glad that they were alive, and it meant the possibility that the others were too.

They pulled away from each other, and they started talking, hands hastily going to sign over the words. ‘We heard a train,’ Rosita signed.

‘We’re waiting for the train,’ Nix replied. ‘My dad’s inside with some asshole,’ she added when she saw Rosita start to sign again. The older woman nodded, and reached out and clasped her arm briefly. ‘Happy to see you,’

Rosita smiled a little, but she looked tense. Nix felt the same, and she knew they were feeling the same thing. Anger and frustration and desperation to get their kids back. They went into the building and could see Daryl standing above the trooper. Maggie’d got him good with that rusty nail, and he was steadily bleeding out and dying. Nix watched as Carol said something, and Daryl’s mouth moved before he pulled out his knife. Gabriel stepped around Daryl, saying something to the trooper. Nix frowned, not sure what was going on, but her dad was backing away and was letting Gabriel speak to the trooper.

‘He recognised him,’ Rosita signed when she caught the confused look on Nix’s face. ‘Church.’ Nix nodded and watched at the side as Gabriel spoke calmly to the man. Blood was spilling from his mouth, and he was holding his wound. He turned and spat blood onto the ground and then Gabriel was kneeling beside the man. They continued to talk for a little bit before Gabriel looked at them. Daryl reached out and pulled her out.

‘They want privacy,’ Daryl signed as they met back up with Maggie outside.

Rosita looked around, clenching her jaw. Daryl was talking about something that Nix didn’t catch. ‘If that train pulls in, Connie’s gone,’ he signed as Gabriel slowly came back.

‘If they see us coming, they’re gonna radio ahead,’ Rosita added, looking between them all.

‘We can’t just leave her on there,’ Nix signed.

Carol reached out to touch her arm. ‘We won’t. I think there’s a way to do both.’

Which was how they went to work fucking up the junction. Nix grabbed some branches and rocks and helped Maggie block the junction and ram the tracks full of branches. They twisted the lever and made it hard to use. They managed enough until Maggie was pulling Nix away to hide in the bushes. Nix felt the rumbling a few seconds later – the train was finally coming. Rosita, during this, had gone and dismantled the long-distance radio antenna.

The train came to a stop, and a trooper came off to deal with the walkers. Nix snuck around through the brambles and bushes and watched the troopers on the train. The dead were coming from the direction the train had come in. The noise and the rattling of the tracks had to be bringing walkers from miles around.

Once the troopers dismounted the train, Nix snuck up onto the train without being seen, and she slipped inside. There were pallets full of shit that Nix didn’t care for. She was too busy trying to find Connie. She slipped through them, and at the end of the car, the door opened. She ducked to the side, hands on her gun, waiting. She could feel the heavy footsteps slowly getting closer. She risked a glance over the box she was hiding behind. The trooper had their back to her. She clenched her jaw and carefully stepped out. She followed the trooper and managed to get him into a headlock, choking him out. He was out within seconds, and she stabbed him through the stupid fucking goggles all the troopers wore.

She moved through the rest of the train and opened up the door. She jumped in surprise when she saw her dad. He grabbed her and they ducked, just as bullets pinged off the metal of the train. The troopers put down heavy gunfire, but Nix, Daryl – and Carol who was still on the tracks – returned it. One of their bullets caught one of the troopers, and they fell to the ground, shaking before going still. But there were two more, still. Maggie appeared from the front of the train and shot them through the back of the head. The second one turned to look, but then their head seemed to explode as three bullets went straight through their skull.

They climbed down the train, and Nix looked around. There were walkers still coming from the rear. When Nix looked to the front of the train, and her heart jumped into her throat. Her gun was up, but the trooper was using Connie as a human shield, gun pointed at her temple. She saw her dad lower his gun, and she copied his movements when he glanced back at her. The trooper must’ve said something else, as Daryl took his crossbow off. Nix dropped her backpack. She’d left her bow and quiver in the jeep.

Nix’s eyes were on Connie’s, and they had a hidden understanding. Nix nodded her head, just enough, and then Connie reacted. She hit his arm with the gun, and she elbowed him as hard as she could in the gut. The trooper hit her around the face, and she went tumbling. Nix grabbed her gun and twisted around, shooting at the trooper. She nicked his arm, but then he was on a bike and was shooting off the train and into the woods.

Fuck!

Nix looked back and saw her dad crouch over Connie, touching her face as he asked if she was OK. Connie nodded, though looked a little disoriented. Daryl helped her to her feet before he was running up onto the train and got on one of the bikes. Nix could only watch as her father followed the trooper’s trail.

‘Are you OK?’ she asked, looking at Connie. She nodded and her arms were around Nix, and she felt so damn close to sobbing. Nix pulled away enough so she could put her hands on Connie’s face. ‘You’re gonna be alright.’

‘So are you,’ Connie signed.

‘Let’s get back to the waystation,’ Nix looked to Carol. ‘The dead?’

She nodded. ‘I’ve got it. Take your mom,’

Nix smiled a little. Yeah, Connie was her mom.

 


 

 

Nix checked Connie over, making sure that she was OK. She didn’t have a concussion, just looked a little frightened over what she’d been through.

‘They took everyone,’ Nix signed. She’d gotten her bow back from the jeep, feeling a little better to have it in her hands.

‘I know. I’d been with Kelly. One moment she was there, the next she wasn’t. I tried to hide, but I was caught.’ Connie rubbed at her eyes, wiping away the tears before they could fall down her face. ‘They took my sister from me. They took everyone we care about.’

Nix took Connie’s shaking hands in hers. They sat together like that for a long moment. ‘They took Alden and Adam. Even took Dog. I don’t – we’re gonna get them back. I don’t know how, but we will,’ Nix pressed her lips together, not bothering to try and force a smile. ‘Then Pamela Milton is going to regret ever fucking with us.’

Connie nodded, then her eyes moved around Nix, and she twisted in her spot. Carol and Maggie were bringing someone in – the train conductor, probably – and Rosita and Gabriel were following them. Nix turned back to Connie. ‘I don’t care what they’re doing. Right now I just want to know that you’re OK and we’ll be OK.’

‘I think I’m alright with that.’

A few minutes later, Daryl rode around the corner on the bike, and Nix glanced between her father and Connie before she moved away to let them have some privacy. Barely fifteen seconds later, Nix saw a commotion going off with Carol, Maggie and the conductor. Nix ran over and came to a stop when Carol held her hand out. The man had a thick piece of metal against his neck, looking ready to kill himself. She didn’t understand what they were saying, but the man looked terrified and close to tears.

Nix winced when he stuck the metal into his neck. He choked and fell to his knees, gasping as blood spilled from his mouth. Then he fell forwards and the end of the metal came through the other side of his neck. Nix grimaced and felt a little guilty that her first thought was, well this guy was a waste of time.

She was having a tough time; she was allowed to have bad thoughts.

They moved away from the man’s body after Maggie stopped him from turning.

‘So we don’t know which way to go?’ Connie asked. Daryl shook his head, looking apologetic. ‘Kelly is there, and I know she’s scared. I can’t lose her.’

‘You won’t,’ Nix signed. ‘We’ll need time to figure out what to do, but we’ll find her.’ Across from them, Daryl signed something similar to Connie.

‘We can go back to the train, get the long-range radio back up,’ Rosita suggested. Nix nodded and signed her thanks to her. Rosita nodded a little and turned back to head to the train, and they followed after her.

Seeing Rosita work getting the radio back up was intriguing. She knew what she was doing and did it expertly. Within a few minutes, they were going back to the waystation where Rosita set up their radio. The sun had set during the time it took to set the radio up, so Daryl and Gabriel set up a fire for them.

Rosita knelt by the radio and seemed to hype herself up into some state of emotion before she clicked the radio and spoke into it. Nix was standing between her father and Connie, holding onto her bow tightly. The tension in the air was tight and heavy as they waited for an answer. There was a flash of irritation on Rosita’s face before she pulled on the façade she was using to put the fear in her voice. She spoke into the radio again, hand covering her mouth as she looked at the others. But then she looked back into the distance, eyebrows up, eyes wide as she replied to someone on the radio.

Nix and Connie shared a look before they looked around at the others. She reached out and pulled her dad’s hand from his face, trying to stop him from chewing on his thumbnail.

‘Giving directions,’ Daryl signed to them. Nix crossed her arms, feeling anxious and nervous, a bundle of frayed nerves and feelings. The person on the radio must’ve said something because everyone seemed to jerk to attention.

‘Community with walls – the directions. She’s talking about –’

Everyone paused, it seemed. ‘They took Alexandria,’ Gabriel signed.

If they took Alexandria, they took everything. They never gave them their communities back. Pamela had lied to them, despite the promises she’d made. She'd never been honest with them from the beginning. She simply took and took and took, and she’d left them to be fucked over and used until there was nothing left of them.

Rosita said something to the person on the radio before she shut it off. “Fuck,” she said as she got to her feet.

‘They’re at Alexandria,’ Daryl signed.

Maggie looked around at them, and Nix thought she’d never looked more like a leader than right now. “Milton has underestimated us since day one,” she started, a determined look on her face. “We’re gonna get our kids, take back our home, and make it right. And Pamela’s never gonna see it coming. She’s fucking with the wrong people.”

Chapter 41: The Calm Before

Chapter Text

The ride was uncomfortable, but Nix didn’t care. They’d stolen another jeep from the train and taken as many guns and weapons as they could carry. They were going to take back Alexandria and get their fucking people back. They took turns driving, trying to rest when they weren’t, but they were all riled up and tense. They knew where their people were and knew what to expect.

The sun was in the clouded sky by the time they got close enough to Alexandria. They ditched the jeeps out of sight and hid away so that the troopers couldn’t see them. Their small group kept to the ground and out of sight as they got close enough. Carol and Daryl went ahead of them to check things out since Daryl had the binoculars. Nix kept wringing her hands, anxious. Alden was in there, and so were Sophia and Enid, and Sophia was hellfire on legs and wouldn’t be happy and would’ve fought back.

What if Sophia was dead? What if Enid was?

Everyone they loved and cared about were inside those walls, the place that they’d once called home. It’d been turned into something else, something monstrous and awful. They’d even painted the Commonwealth emblem on and had put flags down to mark it as their territory.

Daryl and Carol came back, looking tense and angry.

‘Is it OK?’

‘No, it’s really bad,’ Daryl signed to Connie and Nix. They were standing together, arms linked. ‘I don’t think any of them are going to make it.’

“But you saw everyone,” Gabriel said, and Daryl started to sign the conversation so Nix and Connie could keep up.

“The adults,” Carol said.

“Coco, Hershel, the kids?” Rosita asked, and Nix couldn’t help but think of Adam. God, he was probably terrified and wanted them.

‘Then where the fuck are they?’ Nix asked. ‘If they’re not there, where did they take our kids?’ She felt like if she didn’t get a handle on it, then she’d go fucking insane.

Carol shook her head minutely. Fuck. Fucking fuck.

Rosita said something about going in there and now.

‘We can’t. There’s too many guards, we’ll never make it.’

Nix blew out a breath, thinking of a way to get in as Gabriel spoke about how they’d turned their home into a prison. ‘We don’t have to go in. We can go under,’ she signed, and the others looked at her. ‘Sophia told me about the sewers – how you got away from the Saviors? What’re the chances the dick brigade knows that they’re there?’

‘What, us going down the shit tunnel?’ Daryl asked.

‘And me,’ Connie signed. ‘Together,’ she signed, looking between the two Dixons. The three shared a look before nodding. Carol and Maggie decided on where they’d come through.

‘I’m coming with,’ Rosita signed.

‘No, you and Gabriel need to be our eyes.’

‘I’m not staying out here when Coco’s inside,’

Nix stepped up to her. ‘We don’t know that the kids are inside. Pamela wouldn’t want our people in there to have hope the way the kids give you hope. If they didn’t spot them, they’re not going to be in there. They might be held in Hilltop or some stupid fucking place back in the Commonwealth.’

Their eyes met and they looked at each other for a long moment. Rosita pressed her lips together and nodded, relenting. Nix saw the way she swore, angry but keeping herself in line.

“You and Gabriel are our best sharpshooters if it comes to that,” Carol added. “We can radio each other if something goes wrong,”

“If it’s more than a night, I’m going in.”

They couldn’t object to that. It was better than Rosita going in guns blazing, screaming and hollering for her baby. Nix felt like doing the same thing; but if Daryl and Carol hadn’t seen the kids, then how likely was it that they were there? The troopers and the Warden, who was in charge, only seemed interested in the railway and slave labour. Little kids were useless for slave labour.

The five of them set off, leaving Rosita and Gabriel behind as lookouts and their backup.

 


 

 

The tunnel really was shit. The ladder going down was covered in mould and leaves and probably shit. Nix had some gloves on and thought about slinging them when she got down into the tunnel. Daryl and Connie pulled out their flashlights, and Nix did the same, looking around. The stench was vile, and Nix had to stop herself from gagging.

She looked at Connie and Daryl and saw them talking, asking if the other was OK. Daryl led the way through one of the tunnels. He looked back at them and told them that Carol and Maggie also managed to make it through their entrance.

‘This will work, right?’ Connie asked, airing out her worries.

‘Yes.’ Daryl signed, and it left no room for argument. This was going to work, and the Commonwealth would fall before them. Nix followed the two through the tunnels. They were dark and dank and disgusting. Nix would suffer through it all and more if it meant they could get her friends and family back.

It was like a damn maze, and Nix tried to not let it get her turned around. Being in the dark, in somewhere wet and moist, it was easy to lose her sense of geography. But Daryl was confident and didn’t seem to be that worried. Though more than once, they came to a stop by some ladders. Nix and Connie would hold their flashlights out, looking around the dark tunnels whilst Daryl climbed up to see where they were.

It was tedious work, but they went through it at a steady pace. Nix was worried about Alden and the others, nervous that they’d gotten themselves hurt or into trouble that they couldn’t get out of. She was going to make herself sick from worrying, and she was getting tired of it real quick.

After what felt like a few hours of roaming the sewer tunnels, they came across some walkers. They were trapped in moss and overgrown roots that had started to take over the tunnels. Nix held her light up, and Connie did the same so that Daryl could stab the one closest to them. Then they had to throw things aside and climb over objects covered in roots and moss and mould to get past to the next walker. Nix couldn’t see her father’s face well enough, but evidently Connie did, as she reached out to touch his arm, asking, ‘What’s going on?’

Daryl looked back enough to say, “I’m fine,” before he turned to kill the walker. Once he did, he paused to catch his breath. Nix shoved at his arm to get his attention.

‘You’re not fine, none of us are,’ she signed as she managed to get next to Connie.

‘I’m scared too,’ Connie signed, eyes on Daryl’s face. They looked at each other for a long moment before Daryl nodded, glancing away. Their hands went onto the other’s shoulders, and Nix felt like she was intruding on something. They were touching constantly. Nix knew that part of that was because Connie was deaf. A touch could help direct, reassure and generally keep them connected. But in front of Nix, this was something more. Intimate.

She knew that they’d been doing something – fleeting kisses, hugs and touches – and it was nice to see them have something good. Maybe once all of this was over, and everything settled down, maybe they could truly figure out what they were doing.

Nix followed them and wondered how weird it would be if she called them Mom and Dad to their faces. Maybe it’d weird them out or get them into gear. Nix sometimes slipped up and called Connie Mom, which was something she didn’t hate, and felt rather fond of, feeling privileged that Nix saw her as something like that. And Daryl was her father and couldn’t be replaced or be anything else. It would be a fun, cobbled-together family, and they made sense.

Eventually, they found a good exit to the tunnels, which was a relief on Nix’s nose. The stench was going to be in her nose for months on end. Daryl climbed up the ladder first, before he looked down to the two below and nodded. Nix gestured for Connie to go, and she did, so Nix brought up the rear.

Alexandria looked different with the Commonwealth propaganda plastered around. Even the houses seemed to look different. But there were crops, which was a good sign. They’d needed crops so badly, they’d been close to starving to death. That felt like a lifetime ago.

Daryl led the way, sneaking them between houses and behind bushes. They searched houses, trying to find their people and the kids, but anyone they knew, they were out being forced to do slave labour. They couldn’t find any of the kids.

Darkness was swift upon them, and it was increasingly hard to try and find the kids. Nix didn’t think they were in Alexandria. It was only a matter of time before Gabriel and Rosita came charging in.

‘Commotion,’ Daryl signed to them. Nix frowned at him, and Connie did the same. ‘The soldiers are bringing everyone out,’ he told them, and then floodlights were turned on, and it was blindingly bright.

The three crouched down, out of sight and crawled towards the commotion. They were slow and steady, hiding behind a tractor, several barrels and pallets. It was quite easy to hide, prone on the ground, moving closer to everyone. They made it behind the windmill, crouched, waiting until it was time for them to act.

‘Negan is going to be killed – firing squad. Annie’s there,’

‘We need to stop it.’ Nix signed.

Daryl nodded, but held his arm out, waiting. ‘Annie’s going to be killed with him,’

Nix made a face. ‘Then we act now – she’s pregnant.’

‘Ezekiel and Rick are there, talking to the people. Come on, move,’

They crept around carefully, and they got there to see some ginger asshole had a gun to Kelly. Daryl moved ahead of them, knife in hand, and then the gun was up in the air. Nix grabbed it from the man as he collapsed to the floor. Connie moved around Daryl and pulled her sister into a hug. Nix looked at the crowd of their people in front of them, and she almost burst into tears when she saw Alden pushing his way through to get to her.

She met him halfway and the two pulled each other into a tight hug. Fuck, she’d missed him.

‘You fucking asshole, don’t scare me like that,’ she signed when they pulled away from each other. She punched his arm for good measure. Alden smiled and nodded, signing his promise to her as snow started to fall. ‘Where’s Adam?’

‘Not here.’

They looked around at the others, and Nix didn’t complain when Alden kept his arm around her, keeping her close. The man in front of them on the ground was dying. Was this the Warden?

Once Negan was untied, he charged at the Warden, pulling him to his feet, only to punch him hard in the face. The man went tumbling down, and Negan knelt over him, brick in hand. No-one was there to stop him. Enid and Sophia were holding each other tightly nearby, and Sophia was sporting a black eye and a few more bruises. Sophia looked disgusted as she looked down at the man.

Then Rosita came running toward them, shouting something as Gabriel pulled the man onto his back. He moved out of the way as Rosita came and grabbed the man. She screamed in his face, but the man just laughed at her. He stopped laughing when she threatened him with a walker, holding it down close to his face.

‘Coco,’ Alden signed to Nix. She nodded, watching the desperate look on Rosita’s face develop. She needed her daughter back, and Nix could relate. She could feel the way Alden’s arm tightened around her, desperate for them all to be back together again.

Whatever the man said to her, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She pushed the walker down, and it bit into the man’s face. Nix didn’t care. She wanted to know where her boy was, and this man didn’t give them shit worth anything. It took several long minutes before someone killed the walker and the man.

 


 

 

‘You need to get some sleep,’ Alden signed to her. After taking control and dealing with troopers who wouldn’t defect, they’d all gotten some semblance of a life back. Alexandria was theirs once more. They’d taken down the flags and the stupid propaganda that hung from the walls.

They were laid together on the floor. Nabila had the bed with her oldest kids, and Enid and Sophia were there too, asleep and clinging to each other like monkeys. There were a few other Alexandrians in the room too, but Nix and Alden were the only ones still awake. They had a candle lit close by so they could see each other.

‘I can’t,’

‘You’re running on fumes,’ Alden told her, concern on his face. ‘We’re going to get him back, but you need to be rested up. It’s going to be a hard fight, and you’ve gotta be strong.’

Nix nodded and leaned back into his shoulder, feeling a little at ease. ‘I know. I’m just –. We tried so hard to find you guys, and it turned out you’re back home that they never gave us our home back.’ Nix wrung her hands a little. ‘Fuck Pamela,’

“Fuck Pamela,” Alden said with a nod. He pulled Nix close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘Sleep.’ The two wrapped themselves around each other, teary-eyed but so damn glad to be together again. It’d been terrifying, and neither of them knew what they were going to face.

It was a fitful sleep, in and out of consciousness. It was hard to rest, knowing that their kids were still missing. Whenever Nix woke up, someone else was too, or someone was checking in on them like they were scared a soldier would try and come and take them. They were family, and family looked out for each other, and that included checking in on everyone after dealing with some maniacs trying to kill everyone with a firing squad.

When the sun started to rise, Nix gave up on trying to sleep. It seemed the others felt the same too. Only Nabila and her kids continued to sleep on. Nix crept out of the bedroom first and went outside. It was nice to be back in Alexandria, with the walls fixed and food available. But there were so many corpses littered around, and there was still blood on the windmill from the firing squads. How many people had died before they got there?

A hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present. It was Enid.

‘How’re you holding up?’ she asked.

Enid shrugged a shoulder, glancing back at the house. ‘Better you guys are here,’ she admitted. ‘It wasn’t good. They killed so many people when they tried running. Morale was low. Kelly was depressed, and it was … dehumanising. That Warden, he wouldn’t let us use our names. And then Negan was sacrificing himself and then we were standing in front of him,’

Nix pulled her into a hug, the distress on Enid’s face clear. ‘You survived, they stole you and made you all disappear, and they turned you into slaves. We’re going to make Pamela regret ever fucking with us.’

Enid nodded, then turned away to wipe at her face. She heaved a sigh and then the two went off to where Rick and several others were.

‘Morning,’ Rick signed. ‘You alright?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘So-so. You?’

Rick shrugged a shoulder, but he had RJ in his lap, and Judith was leaning against Michonne, half-awake. ‘I’ve been better. You guys came at the right time. I was worried Kelly was going to …’

‘She’ll recover. It’ll take a while, but she’ll be OK.’ Nix signed. She’d seen the way Kelly’d been shaken up. But she had Connie and Yumiko with her, and Nix had reassured and comforted her before she went with Alden, Sophia and Enid.

Around them, Alexandria came to life. People started to move around and get food. Some people took guns and machetes from the troopers’ corpses. Carl came over with some food for them, and he woke Judith up, giving her a bowl of some weird grey substance. RJ woke up a few seconds later, rubbing at his eyes. Carl gave him his hat, and RJ smiled up at him from underneath the rim.

Nix and Enid ate some food, sitting together, legs pressed together. Sophia and Alden found them not long after and joined them. They were quick to finish their meals and then they went around helping. They gathered weapons, supplies, and anything that could help them take down the Commonwealth and Pamela.

Everyone was determined, and Nix could see the barely contained anger in Alden. His hands shook when he held his spear, and he kept pressing his lips together in a thin line. Sophia was similar; with her black eye and multiple bruises, she was as determined as Rosita. She kept checking in with Enid and Kelly, alongside several others. She didn’t mask her anger. Carol tried to talk to her, but Sophia couldn’t handle that, not yet.

‘They think the kids are being held in a children’s home,’ Sophia signed, tense and angry. They were some of the last few to get into the bus they’d taken from the troopers. Jesus was coordinating people just outside, telling them what was happening and where to go for supplies that were needed.

‘I’m not thinking about that yet,’ Nix signed, twisted in her seat to look at Sophia. Her face was a spattering of colour, black and yellow and white and brown. ‘We get to the Commonwealth, we take Pamela down, and we get our fucking kids.’

Sophia nodded and shifted a little when Enid came and sat next to her. Nix moved back and grabbed Alden’s hand when he came and settled down beside her. The others were boarding now, Jesus and Aaron, Connie and the others, several of the people who’d gone missing from the Commonwealth. Rick brought up the rear. He stopped at the front, and Daryl settled into the driver’s seat. Judith sat with Carl near the front, holding her sword in her hands.

“I know y’all may be scared, maybe nervous. We’ve faced things like this before – those of you who the Commonwealth disregarded, you are of value, you are worth something. Pamela Milton never truly understood what it meant to be alive, what it means to live and live with the people amongst us. She’s taken our children, ripped away our lives, she came at us when we were separated. But now, we come at her as a unit, together, and she won’t know what’s hit her ‘til it’s too late. We take our lives back from her, and we make the world right.”

Rick certainly had a way with words. Nix felt a little bit motivated. Terrified, but motivated.

Daryl drove them to where they’d left the train, and everyone clambered on. Nix had no idea who was conducting the train, but they were soon moving. Nix couldn’t remember if she’d ever been on a train before. It was uncomfortable, and she kept swaying from side to side, and her shoulder jostled into Alden’s.

‘You’re fidgeting,’ she signed when the tapping on his spear started to get on her nerves. Nix had her own little tics like that, touching the fletchings on her arrows, nail going into the nock. Rosita and Gabriel were at a table they’d set up with a map of some sort laid out in front of them, talking quietly.

‘I know. Sorry. I can’t help it. Adam’s – he was crying for us when they took him, I can remember how he was reaching for me before the other assholes got me.’ His hands shook a little, and he shook his hands out, a mixture of emotions passing over his face. ‘We’re gonna get him back – we’ll get all of them back.’

Nix nodded. ‘I know. Pamela’s fucked with the wrong people. She’s gotten away with this for years, and now she’s going to regret ever fucking doing this to anyone.’

Alden gestured towards Gabriel and Rosita. ‘Rosita’s saying we should go through the lower ward; less money meant fewer patrols.’

‘Safer in the rough side of town. I kinda figured,’ she signed, then glanced at her dad. He offered a pathetic smile, then looked away, back at Judith who was sitting next to him, letting him put his fingers through her hair. ‘I grew up in the roughest of areas,’

‘I thought as much.’ Alden signed and smiled when Nix elbowed him. ‘She knows where the children’s house is, and we’ll hit it from behind.’

Nix nodded, feeling anxious.

They got to the Commonwealth faster than Nix expected. It was quite odd, and she didn’t think she’d ever get on a train ever again. It wasn’t comfortable and made her feel a little queasy. Maybe it was because she’d never really done something like that before, and her anxieties and nervousness were making her stomach roil uncomfortably. She preferred horseback or a car, something she trusted.

The plan was to go into the Commonwealth and split into a few groups – one group would go and get the kids, which would consist of Eugene, Rosita, Gabriel and Alden, whilst Ezekiel and his own group would go with Mercer to collect essentials and help the people of the Commonwealth. Rick and the rest would be going to Pamela herself to show that they weren’t going to back down or let her get away with everything she’d been doing.

They were still at a depot which left them a little ways out. However, Princess managed to get in contact with Mercer, who seemed to finally be on their side. Princess told them there was an old access tunnel under the west wall that led up to Union Station. He was going to meet them there, from what Princess told them. Nix wasn’t so sure about Mercer, mostly because of how … wary he seemed of them, but something must’ve happened for him to defect from Pamela. He’d been her right hand, after all.

Daryl walked beside her, matching her pace. They looked at each other, and the way her father looked at her, almost had Nix bursting into tears. She clenched her jaw and blinked away the tears that threatened to make an appearance.

‘I’m proud of you,’ he signed, and it took Nix by surprise. ‘Never said it much. You deserve to know.’

Nix smiled a little. ‘Thanks. I’m proud of you too,’

Daryl rolled his eyes and mussed her hair up. Neither felt the need to say anything anymore. There didn’t feel like time to talk, all of them too tense as they walked to the access tunnel. Princess and Carol were leading the way, and everyone followed after them. There were so many people with them, most of whom had been kidnapped and forced into slave labour. They were going to take back their lives and show that they weren’t going to lie down and be trodden on.

Their large group came to a stop, and they all crouched down, eyes on the troopers who were patrolling the area. Nix and Daryl moved up to the front, the ones with the best eyes, and waited patiently as they watched the idiots in white plastic armour. Nix really hated the armour for the troopers.

She held a hand out to the others, waiting for the right moment. They were all nervous, feeling like sitting ducks, waiting for Mercer to turn up. Princess promised he would. The troopers kept patrolling, unaware of them hidden away. Two particularly annoying troopers were getting closer and closer. Nix glanced over at her dad and saw the tension lining his face. Looking back at the troopers, who were less than fifteen feet away from them now. They were going to be caught if they got any closer, and that would ruin the whole plan.

Judith was on Nix’s other side, crouched down with her, eyes narrowed and looking so much like Carl. Nix put a hand on her back and lowered her a little further, out of sight. Her damn sword was sticking out like a neon sign. Behind them, Carol stepped away, presumably to try and find another way in.

The two troopers came to a stop, and Nix hoped to high hell they couldn’t see shit through their stupid goggles and massive masks. There was only so much shrubbery and not enough to hide them all completely. But then one of them pulled out a walkie. They spoke for a little bit, into the walkie and to each other before they retreated.

‘What?’ she asked, looking at her dad.

‘Mercer wants people to help with a swarm – they need to go help. The dead aren’t our problem.’ Daryl signed to her, watching as the troopers got ready to leave, climbing into their jeep. The two shared a look. ‘Not a threat to us.’

Nix narrowed her eyes a little. ‘The dead can always be a threat. Keep an eye on the walker problem.’

Once the coast was clear, their group got up and moved over to the tunnel entrance. Their guns were up and ready, waiting for some trooper or walker to come across them. Gabriel was quick to break the lock, and Maggie pulled it off and opened the door to the tunnel. Nix felt a sudden burst of déjà vu, thinking back to the cave, all dark and awful and terrifying. Back when she thought Connie and Magna had been killed. But they were still there, right behind her with their own guns.

This was going to be different. Nix just didn’t know how. She was terrified that things would go sideways, that they’d lose, and that she’d never get her son back. The idea that they’d lose this fight after everyone had fought their enemies countless times over didn’t settle well in her gut. They had to win.

On they went in the tunnel, lit up by their flashlights and the occasional flickering light in the wall. It was dark and dreary, and it was a long walk. Nix tried to swallow her nerves as they continued walking, being led by Maggie and Princess. She thought about the horde of walkers that would be coming their way; she knew that the troopers were moderately competent when it came to dealing with the dead, but people often underestimated the dead.

The people at Coalport had underestimated the dead, and they’d paid for it dearly.

They rounded a corner, and there was a large ‘E-3’ pained on the wall in white. On the wall beside it was another, ‘E-2’, and there was a ladder attached to the wall. Maggie went up first and Jesus went next, and the rest followed after her. The people who came from the Commonwealth took the lead, guiding them through the hallways until they got to a door. Everyone slowly filtered out the door and into the main area of the building.

Nix tightened her grip on the gun. ‘Something’s wrong,’ she signed. Sophia, the closest to her, nodded in agreement. She looked behind her, and her stomach flipped when she saw the doors had been chained shut. ‘Hide,’ she signed, but it was too late.

One of the people from the Commonwealth said something and called out to the others, and then their bodies seemed to explode. Blood splattered everywhere, but Nix and Sophia were moving. They ran in a crouch and slammed into the back of some wooden benches. Her head cracked hard against the wood, and she gasped a little, fingers slipping on her gun before she got her grip back.

She could see the others rushing, shoes slipping on the linoleum floor before they were sliding behind safety. She didn’t know where the others were, all she knew was that Maggie, Daryl, Carl and Judith were behind her, by the door they’d come out of. Alden and Enid seemed to have vanished in the mass of people rushing to find safety between the bullets raining down on them.

Nix was going to fucking kill Pamela Milton.

Chapter 42: Torn Apart

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The soldiers weren’t relenting, shooting at them in a mad spray of bullets. Nix could barely get off a shot or two before she was ducking for cover. She saw some running down the stairs, and she turned to shoot at them as Sophia did the same, backs pressed together, keeping each other steady as they shot at the assholes who dared fuck with them.

She moved back out of sight when her gun ran out of bullets, and Sophia did the same. She was muttering to herself, probably cursing up a storm. Their hands fumbled a little as they rummaged in Nix’s bag for more ammo. Magazine thrown aside, new mag with a clip in, they resumed fire again. They pointed up at the main balcony, where the majority of the soldiers were shooting from. It was hard to get a good shot, the stupid railing getting in the way, bullets ricocheting off the metal.

Nix and Sophia ducked out of the way, but they caught sight of short blonde hair. They jumped back up and fired up at Pamela Milton and her men. Someone got the man on Pamela’s left, and he dropped like a sack of bricks. Nix didn’t react, just kept shooting, ignoring the way her adrenaline was spiking, her heart beating a mile a minute.

Everything seemed to come to a stop once Pamela fired the gun. Sophia grabbed Nix and they ducked down, but Nix was quick to see what the cause of the ceasefire was. Her heart jumped into her throat, and she wasn’t sure if she made a noise or not. Sophia’s grip on her arm was ironclad, fingers shaking.

Judith was on the floor, blood pooling around her.

Carl and Daryl knelt beside her, trying to keep her alive. Maggie was staring in shock. Everyone had stopped as Carl and Daryl begged Judith to wake up. It couldn’t be real, Judith couldn’t have been shot – but the blood was bright and fresh, and Judith was out of it, unresponsive. Well, their plans were out the window; their priority was saving Judith’s life now.

Nix stood up without thinking and turned and shot at Pamela once more. The action made everyone resume, adrenaline and fear and downright fury coursing through them. Nix saw Enid rush to the scene behind her, and it didn’t matter, because Sophia and Nix were upright, defending them, shooting at the men and Pamela, not giving them a chance to fire back. Carl joined them, shooting up at them. Nix couldn’t see his eye, his blind one turned to her, but she knew he was feeling nothing more than rage and fear. That was his baby sister, and she was bleeding out on the tiles of the Commonwealth Union Station.

The troopers with Pamela didn’t stand a chance, and they were dead before they could raise their guns. Pamela, ever a coward and pathetic, turned and ran back the way she’d come.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT!” Sophia screamed at the top of her lungs, breathing heavily.

Carl grabbed Nix’s arm. “We gotta go,” he said, and she saw the tears on his face. Nix pushed him towards his sister, and he went willingly, scooping her up in his arms like she was a play doll as Enid made some final adjustments to the gauze and bandages she’d applied to Judith’s wound. The blood was quick to stain Carl’s clothes, but he didn’t care. Rick was there too, as was Michonne. They both looked furious and terrified.

Rick saw something, and he shouted at someone. Nix saw Ezekiel with a fire extinguisher, and then he was throwing it up in the air. Rick, a sudden sense of calm around him, aimed with his Colt Python, and the extinguisher exploded.

The smoke was hard to breathe through, but they were running. They were following Carl and Daryl. People were probably shouting, but Nix didn’t hear them. Sophia kept a tight grip on her arm as they made their way out of the building

Eugene was outside the building, as were Yumiko and Max. They didn’t ask, just ran with them.

‘Hospital – we’re going there,’ Sophia signed to Nix. Carl was up ahead, running with Judith as fast as he could as Ezekiel led the way. Rick was keeping pace pretty well too with his limp, running after his children. Michonne was with him, aware that he could just so easily collapse on his leg. Alden was just a bit behind Nix, and she kept glancing back to make sure he was still there with them.

They slowed down a little when they saw a truck come and block off their path. Ezekiel was quick to lead them down another route. On the opposite end, they saw several vehicles shoot past, and then another large truck came and blocked off that end. They started to fall back, but Nix could see them putting up barricades, blocking off the areas, and there were even cargo trucks coming and blocking it off.

‘The dead,’ Nix signed. Sophia came to a stop beside her. ‘They wouldn’t pen us in like this, they’d shoot at us and kill us – we’re in open space. The dead must’ve gotten in.’ She stopped and grimaced when she inhaled deeply. ‘I can smell the dead,’

“Walkers,” Sophia called as their group came to a stop. The troopers were ignoring them completely, too occupied with setting up the barricades in an attempt to block the dead from entering. Nix looked around, feeling so damn terrified. She spotted some troopers retreating, shooting their guns in the air to lead the dead. They ended up penned in with the dead. She stopped, jaw a little slack when she saw the walker climb.

“What the fuck?” Negan asked. Nix shrugged at him.

“Fuck, it’s like Coalport again,” Magna said.

Nix went to raise her gun when she saw two running, thinking that they were walkers that ran, but it was just Jules and Luke.

‘Luke!’ she signed, so damn relieved to see him there. He smiled at her and pulled her into a quick hug. He was covered in guts, and he smelled so damn awful, but Nix had never been happier to see him.

Their group moved again, around a corner, but there were herds of the dead coming from every angle.

Someone shouted something, and Nix spotted the arrow for deliveries. Carl could go that way with Judith to the hospital. Their guns were raised, and they shot at the dead before they could cut off the alley. They rushed forwards and stabbed and pushed them off. Out of the corner of her eye, Nix saw Carl run into the alley before the dead blocked it off. They had to hope that the dead would be too preoccupied with them to go after Carl and Judith.

They had to get to the hospital. They couldn’t lose Judith.

The group were fighting side by side. The dead were closing in on them, but they kept shooting and stabbing at the dead. Adrenaline was running high, Nix was out of breath, and the only thing that kept her on her toes was the fact that they had to get to Judith and make sure she was OK.

Her heart was trying to beat out of her sternum, and she forgot to breathe several times, too busy stabbing the dead. Her machine gun had run out of ammo, and she didn’t have the spare time to put another clip in. Her knives would do. Sophia was on her right, Alden on her left, and on Alden’s left was Luke. They were all she could spare to think about, aside from the walkers that seemed to replace each other. She killed one, another took its place. Their arms reaching for them, jaws loose and snarling. Dead eyes determined.

Alden pulled her along, and she looked around wildly. They had a bit of space to move and retreat. She looked around for Luke, and she saw him running towards the walkers. Nix pulled herself out of Alden’s grip before she could think.

Jules was screaming, and Luke had her in his arms. Nix didn’t get there in time. The walker knocked Luke down, and rotted teeth bit through his clothes and into the skin of his heel Her handgun was in her hand before she realised, and she shot it. Another bullet went through its head, and Connie was there. They pulled Luke away, even though he was screaming. They shot at the walkers close to them, holding Luke between them. Nix raised her gun at Jules as she screamed, trying to reach out for Luke.

Jules caught Nix’s eyes, and she nodded, eyes begging as she cried out in pain. She shot Jules before she could endure any more agony. She didn’t need to be in pain anymore, to feel her skin and flesh and muscle be torn from her bones. Luke was still shouting like he was unaware that he was bitten too. But Jules was gone, and Nix stopped her pain from continuing.

Kelly helped them with Luke, heaving him to his feet. They ran, following Carol as she led the way, going through the fencing, and then their groups split off – Ezekiel leading several people elsewhere, Rosita taking the lead with some others. Nix looked to Alden and nodded. He looked nervous before he ran after Rosita and the others. He’d get Adam back.

But Nix wasn’t prioritising Adam right now, she had more pressing matters at hand. She trusted Alden and Rosita and her group would get the kids back safe and sound. Nix and the main group continued to run in the direction of the hospital. The walkers seemed to appear from nowhere, arms stretched out and threatening. The group shot and stabbed their way through, towards the hospital. Nix had the chance to put some more ammo in her machine gun, and she let go of Luke to shoot her way through the dead.

Luke wasn’t going to die. He couldn’t. They’d amputate, and they’d get supplies, and the doctors would help, and he’d be fine. She couldn’t think of anything else.

The walkers were mowed down by her and the others. They went inside, and Rick fell to his knees to the side. Nix didn’t pay attention, she pulled out a gurney and almost knocked Jesus over with it, and they pulled Luke onto it, peeling the guts-covered coat from his body. Nix pushed him down and pulled the leg of his pants up. Kelly had a machete, but her hand was shaking.

Luke was sobbing, and Nix clenched her jaw, took the machete from Kelly, and raised it over her head before she slammed it down into Luke’s shin. The first cut caught in the bone, and Yumiko, Magna and Connie were pinning Luke down. The hit sent a shock through Nix’s hands, but she ignored it, pulled the machete out and cut again. The leg came off.

She threw the machete aside, then turned. Jesus was there, looking shocked behind his beard and bruised face. She grabbed his belt buckle and undid it, slid it through the loops and turned back to Luke. She climbed onto the gurney, kneeling over the wound. She tied the belt around Luke’s leg, trying to make a tourniquet. She had no idea where Enid was, but she was making do until Enid came to them. Nix didn’t have much blood on her hands, but they were the cleanest. They were wheeled into a room, and then Connie was looking around with Kelly. Nix put her hands over the stump, tears streaming down her face; Luke was twitching and whimpering, jerking away from her touch.

‘Nothing,’ Magna signed, coming to help her, hands over the bloody stump.

Nix looked around, then clambered off the bed and went to the other two beds and pulled the bedsheets off, ripped the pillowcases away. She moved back and put them against the oozing stump. There was so much blood. It covered the gurney, and it was covering Nix, from her stomach down to her ankles. There was blood smeared up her arms. It was all Luke’s. It was so fresh and warm.

She packed the stump, but Luke was just bleeding through it all.

The doors burst open again, and Nix ignored it. She was too busy trying to stop the bleeding. Connie moved into her eyesight. She had some blankets and clothes. Kelly pushed Nix away, taking the job from her. Nix moved to Luke, hands going on his face.

‘You’re gonna be fine,’ she signed, using one hand. She couldn’t let go of him. ‘Look at me,’

He smiled up at her, but he was crying, the tears going into his hairline. Yumiko was on the other side of the gurney, and Magna was behind Nix, a solid comfort, but Nix could feel her shaking, crying.

“Proud of you,” he managed to say, but Nix could see him going. He was – he couldn’t be, no. He couldn’t go, couldn’t die there. He’d been with her too long, been there for her over the years. He couldn’t be dying.

‘You – I’m proud of you too,’ she signed, then rubbed the back of her hand against her face, trying to get rid of the tears. ‘You’re my dad. You’re gonna be fine. Peg leg.’

“Nix,” he said, and one of his hands went around her forearm. His fingers were getting cold. “I love you.”

‘I love you too,’ she signed, sniffling. Luke was crying, gasping for breath. It was getting harder for him to speak, the pain becoming too much. He was leaving.

Yumiko was saying something to Luke, and Nix rubbed her thumb over his cheek, her other hand going through his hair. Connie and Kelly were trying their best. Nix could feel herself crying, warm tears dripping down her face. Luke was looking between each of their faces, and she knew he was trying to remember what they looked like.

For a split second, Nix hoped to hell that Heaven was real, that some form of the afterlife was real. Luke couldn’t die and be gone. He had to be at peace somewhere.

He was getting weaker, his grip on her arm loosening. He lost too much blood, and he was dying.

‘Trying to talk,’ Yumiko signed, leaning closer to Luke, trying to hear him.

He reached down for something in his pocket. Nix reached down and pulled the item out.

The fucking harmonica.

The memories flooded Nix, and she choked on a sob. She moved back and held it up. “Music,” Luke managed. Nix nodded and held the harmonica tightly, a laugh escaping her, something that probably sounded awful and more of a sob than anything.

“We keep the music alive, OK?” Yumiko said, signing it too. Nix didn’t pay much attention, hand going over Luke’s bearded cheeks, over his forehead.

‘For you, promise,’ Nix signed as the others made their own promises. Nix lowered her head to his, pressing a kiss to his temple. He was going, fighting to keep his eyes open. They slowly shut, and Nix gripped the harmonica tightly, feeling sick. She pushed herself back into the window and the blinds, fighting so hard to keep herself steady. She wiped at her nose and looked down at Luke’s face. He didn’t even look at peace.

She pulled out her knife and smoothed over the creases in his face, taking the pain out of his face. He was cool, cold from the blood loss, warm from their touch. She pressed another kiss to his forehead before she tilted his head with shaky fingers. The knife shook in her hand, and a sob escaped her. Yumiko was holding Luke’s hand in both of hers, sobbing hard. The others were shaking and crying.

Nix felt sick to her core, but she pushed the knife into the back of his head, stopping him from turning. She pulled the knife out, and it slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor. She completely broke down. It was almost as one, the last of their small group crowded around Luke and sobbed together. Magna’s presence was on Nix’s left, and she was pressing into her back, arm over her shoulders. Nix reached out and took hold of Kelly’s hand, feeling the way she was shaking the gurney the most.

Magna and the others pulled away, and she very carefully pulled Nix away from Luke’s body. She didn’t say or sign anything as they covered Luke’s body. She put her arms around Nix, resting her head atop hers. Nix put her hands on Magna’s arm, sniffling and still crying.

There was a thudding in the distance, and Nix pried herself out of Magna’s hold. She wiped at her eyes again, then crouched down to pick up the knife she’d dropped. She looked around the room and was surprised to see her father, Carl, Rick, Enid, and Carol on the other side. Enid was looking after Judith, and Nix had no idea if she’d come to check on Luke or not in all the chaos. Carl and Daryl were both hooked up to something, giving Judith a transfusion, and Rick was nursing his arm, having already done the same. Carol – well, Nix didn’t know what the fuck Carol was doing. Carl’s lone eye was starting to swell and blacken.

Nix had no idea where he’d gotten the black eye from; she’d been so focused on Luke and her very immediate surroundings that she’d not noticed anything else. Luke.

They moved into action. Magna told Carol they were coming too. Nix didn’t care if she looked like a mess, or if they thought she was going to go crazy. She needed to kill every single last walker that dared try and enter the hospital, and she was going to fucking kill Pamela for causing all of it.

They left the room and went running to the havoc.

Walkers were trying to force their way into the hospital, despite the defences they’d put up. Rick was quick to bring up the rear, gun in one hand, machete in the other.

Nix helped the others try and push a desk against the doors, trying to keep the walkers at bay. But all the walls were made of glass, and the pressure and weight of the dead would make the glass crack. It was only a matter of time.

They all failed at keeping the walkers out. They breached the hospital. It was nonstop. They kept stabbing and kicking the walkers away, but it wasn’t helping. Another person was caught by the dead, and they couldn’t just push her away and let her get devoured. But she was being bitten, torn apart. Nix grabbed Kelly’s hand when she tried to reach out to help the woman. The walkers pulled the woman in, and she collapsed to the floor. Nix helped Connie, Yumiko and Sophia push the desk back against the doors, shutting it.

Nix heaved a sigh and looked around, and her stomach felt like it vanished when she saw a walker holding a rock, smashing it into the glass.

“Like Atlanta,” she saw Rick say. He was doing his best to keep himself composed, but his only daughter was slowly dying. His eyes looked haunted, and he was having a hard time trying not to cry.

Faint memories of that first night that Rick was at the Atlanta came to the surface. How Rick told them about the walkers who ran after him and Glenn, the one that held a rock and tried to smash the window, how they’d tried to climb the ladders after him and Glenn.

Nix could remember Coalport. She’d not been there, but she knew how it’d gone down. A rare walker or two had come across them, and the guards hadn’t been prepared, some idiot had left the gates open. They’d known Coalport was shit, full of idiots; they’d known when to cut loose and go.

It was still weird seeing it happen in person.

Enid helped try and keep the desk pressed to the door, but the colour vanished from her face when she looked down the corridor. Nix followed her gaze, and she wanted to scream. Fucking walkers were everywhere.

The glass broke, and the walkers outside forced their way in. They gave up on the desk, and turned and stabbed at the walkers, slicing their faces, stopping them from coming closer. They kicked and pushed their way through the corridor. They pulled the shelves back up and pushed the gurney out of the way and pulled Judith out of the room. Carl took out the needle in his arm and Judith’s, and then helped them push his sister out of the room, and Nix slammed the door shut, hoping the walkers weren’t smart enough to turn the handle. Walkers were closing in on all sides. They pushed Judith on the gurney through the corridor, moving around the corner. Jesus ran ahead of them, kicking walkers aside, slashing them to pieces with his sword. He was quick on his feet and dealt with the dead faster than Nix could blink.

Someone radioed the others to let them know the hospital had been breached. They ran through the corridors, avoiding the dead that seemed to be there at every turn, and Nix shut the other door, hoping against everything that when they got back to the hospital, Luke’s body would be unharmed. Nix couldn’t cry anymore, not while they were running for their lives. She still felt guilt like no other for leaving Luke’s body behind.

But they had to put Judith first, make sure that she was safe, and wouldn’t die. If she did, then everything would fall apart. Carl wouldn’t be the same, Rick would go off, maybe tipped into insanity, and Michonne would go berserk. RJ wouldn’t be the same without his big sister. Everyone had raised Judith in some way and looked after her. She’d been the one thing that kept them going, kept Alexandria going as she’d grown, getting through all the hardships.

There was a break between the dead, and they charged through it, running into the open space of the Commonwealth. The dead were coming after them, snarling and trying to grab them. They were working together as a team, stabbing and kicking and forcing the dead away. Everyone was fuelled by anger and worry. Judith had to be OK.

A large vehicle came, running over and crushing several walkers. Rosita and the others came running, and they were getting so damn close. How close had they been before their ride was fucked? Before the walkers got in the way?

It didn’t matter, something was wrong. Alden was stumbling, and Eugene and Gabriel were bringing him over whilst Rosita took on the walkers that were coming in from behind. They put Judith in the large vehicle first, and Nix turned to Alden and the others, and her heart jolted. His left hand wasn’t there, and it was covered by several layers of bloodied cloth.

“What the fuck – let’s go!” Sophia yelled, and she moved forwards and helped them get Alden into the vehicle. Nix climbed in after them, heart beating hard in her chest. She moved around them and let them rest Alden against her. Now that he was off his feet, he was barely conscious. She pulled Adam out of the bundle and put him on her knee, an arm around Adam’s middle, her other on Alden’s chest. Rosita and Enid were there, peeling the cloth away from his arm, and Nix almost threw up at the sight. It’d been different with Luke, there’d been so much blood and he’d –

She couldn’t think about it. She forced herself to look away at the hacked stump of Alden’s arm. Half his forearm was gone, and blood kept oozing slowly out of the wound.

They were moving, and Nix had no idea where they were going. Ezekiel had to have a plan. They had to get to safety somehow. Nix didn’t know what the fuck was going on, and her brain was having a hard time processing the fact that Alden was missing his fucking hand.

 


 

 

They made it to a train station of sorts, more like a way station. The tracks were overgrown, the grass and land growing over them, taking it back. Nix figured they were a little ways out from the Commonwealth. She could smell the dead in the air, far enough away to not be an immediate threat, but still a danger. They had all holed up in the waystation. Alden had woken up, face contorting in pain. He let Nix help him down and out, into the building, looking weak and exhausted. Jesus had been behind them, in case Alden fell and Nix couldn’t keep him upright.

Eugene told Nix what’d happened when she asked. It didn’t make it any easier, knowing how it’d happened. “He – Alden and Gabriel fell into the horde of walkers. When we were all secure in the building we were climbing into, he told us to amputate. He knew we had to, that it was his only chance at survival. Rosita did it as best she could.”

It still made Nix want to scream and shout, to go out there and take on every walker by herself.

The others were all there with them, waiting until they could get into the Estates. They wanted to get in without a fight, without trouble. Negan and the others were there, and Nix thought she’d spotted Negan talking with Rick and Ezekiel like they were trying to hash out a plan. Nix didn’t give a single fuck about it. No-one else had died yet, but it’d been a close call. Lydia’d been bitten too, and Aaron and Jerry had to amputate. Jerry wasn’t there, and no-one knew where he was. Nix couldn’t stand to see anyone else die. She’d lost Luke, and she was spiralling into her depression, missing him so damn bad it made her chest feel too tight.

Mercer was there too, keeping an eye on things. Sophia reported things back to her, keeping her in the loop. It was probably an attempt to get her to stop thinking about how fucked they were, how Alden was still in danger, not out of the woods yet. Sophia told her how Mercer had been imprisoned by Pamela, and Princess and Max had gone and busted him out of there, blowing the cell door into smithereens.

The Grimes family were nearby, all crowded around Judith. None of them moved away from her, not too far. Enid was busy, moving between the injured. She managed to help Rick and Carl give blood to Judith. They took turns, and even Daryl pitched in. He’d come over to Nix on occasion and let her lean into his side, rub at Adam’s face or push his hair out of the way. Nothing he could say would help, and they both knew it. He left to talk to Mercer, and Nix didn’t ask him to stay.

‘What are we supposed to do?’ Nix asked. Adam had stopped crying after a while, but he was still clinging to her. Nix kept her arms around the boy, just glad he was alive and unharmed.

‘Wait until Tomi lets us know the safe house is ready for us.’ Enid signed, coming to sit down beside her. Alden woke a little and looked over at them. He was pale, but still alive. ‘We have to move at a moment’s notice. We don’t know when we can get to Tomi’s place. But we need to get there quickly. He’ll help. We have two amputees and Judith. That’s more than Rosita and I can handle.’

Nix forced herself to nod. She readjusted her arm around Alden as Sophia pulled Adam into her arms. ‘They amputated in time right?’ she asked. Alden nudged her a little, nodding.

Enid nodded too, smiling a little at Alden. ‘They did it as soon as they could. Now we just have to make sure the site doesn’t get infected.’

‘What about stitching it up?’ Nix asked. ‘He’s going to need stitches, anaesthetic – will he need a skin graft?’

Enid put her hands on Nix’s shoulders. “Listen to me, Nix,” she said, then pulled a hand away to sign. ‘He’s going to be fine. I amputated Aaron’s arm; I’ve done this before. I can do it again, for Lydia and Alden. He’s going to be fine.’

Nix looked down at Alden, and he smiled at her as best he could, but he was still in pain. They needed to get to Tomi’s so that they could get him, Judith and Lydia the right medication.

‘What if you die?’ she asked him.

Hazel had been bitten and died. But that had been on her neck, and she’d never stood a chance at survival. Luke had been bitten, and his leg had been amputated, but he still died – the blood loss had been too much, and no-one knew his blood type, not even him. They’d tried so hard to keep him alive, but he just kept bleeding and bleeding, and he’d gone. If Nix lost Alden, she wasn’t sure how she was going to keep going. She couldn’t lose the man who’d become a father to her and her partner in the same day. She just couldn’t.

She’d loved and cared for so many people, and yet they were all dying or dead. So many of her group had died before – there’d been, what, fifteen of them at one point. She couldn’t remember all of their faces, and their names started to drift away. But they’d all died. Hazel died trying to save her and had gotten bitten in the process. Luke had died only hours prior and had been bitten. Nix had tried so hard to save him, and he still died anyway.

“I won’t. Got you and Adam, and everyone. I ain’t leaving you just yet.”

It was once the sun had set and the night was upon them that they were able to move. Tomi had finally gotten back to them, to let them know that the safe house had been set up. Carl moved quickly, picking his sister up, following Daryl into the house as Mercer directed everyone. Nix, with Sophia’s help, took Alden into the house. Negan and Aaron did the same with Lydia, being cautious of her arm.

Lydia’s wound was seen first by Enid as Tomi took control of the situation with Judith. Tomi and Ezekiel were handling Judith, moving stands around with IVs on them. Enid turned and barked an order, and then Carol was following it, grabbing two IVs for Lydia and Alden. They were moved into the kitchen whilst Tomi and Ezekiel dealt with Judith in the living room, lights bright above the girl. She was still unconscious but didn’t look as pale as before. All those transfusions had to have helped.

Nix could only watch as Enid went to work on her patients. She was sitting at the dining table, feeling utterly useless.

 


 

 

Adam clung to her, tiny body shaking in her arms. She shushed him, hand going to the back of his head. Her eyes drifted to the others. Enid had finished up on Lydia’s arm, and the young girl was staring off into space. Aaron was beside her, talking to her quietly, Jesus on his other side. Alden’s arm had been bandaged, and his stump was probably stitched or something. Nix hadn’t looked, couldn’t. But she’d held Alden’s remaining hand, let him gasp into her shoulder, gripping her hand tightly.

Once his arm had been done, Enid led them into a spare bedroom. Alden took hold of Adam, who’d screamed in Sophia’s face until she gave him back to Nix, and he gestured for Nix to go.

“You’re covered in blood,” he said, eyes tired, face still pale. “I’ve got him.”

Nix looked down at herself, and the tears formed so suddenly that her eyes hurt. It was mostly Luke’s blood that covered her, with a bit of walker blood mixed in. Part of her didn’t want to wash it away. ‘Luke died.’ Nix signed instead, looking over at him. ‘He’s – he’s dead, and you can’t die too. This is his, and if I get rid of it, it’s like I’m getting rid of him. He’s been by my side for so long.’

Alden forced himself to sit up, and he gestured for Nix to sit on the bed with him. “You won’t be getting rid of him by getting rid of the blood. Part of him lives in you. He brought you up, taught you how to play the piano, helped you survive and loved you. He’s alive in you – and Connie and Kelly and-and Yumiko and Magna.”

Nix reached into her pocket and pulled out the harmonica. It had a few bloodstains on it, and she ignored how the blood was Luke’s. ‘When we shared our first house, he found this in one of the drawers. He told me I made his ears bleed when I tried playing it.’

Alden smiled, laughing a little. He reached out and their hands clasped around the harmonica. “You’ll have to play for me some time then. Just so I can see how awful you are at it.” He looked down at his bandaged stump, fingers going around the edges of the bandage. He said something to himself, but Nix saw the tears on his cheeks. She reached out and wiped them away, then pulled him close and kissed his forehead.

‘You’ll be OK. We’ll figure it out.’

He didn’t look so sure. “What am I supposed to do?” he asked, waving his left arm. “I can’t – how am I supposed to –” Alden cut himself off, eyes bright, and he looked away.

Nix moved around him, kneeling in front of him. He looked at her, and she put one hand over the bandages, careful not to irritate the wound. She held her other hand up between them. ‘We can get through this,’ she signed, one-handed. ‘We’ll figure it out. Compromise.’

“Adam,” he said, breathing shakily, trying not to cry. The boy looked up at the mention of his name, a smile on his face as he looked at them.

‘He’s fine and will be fine. Once everything here is done, me and you will figure everything out. I’ll – I can get Carl to make you a prosthetic,’ she signed. ‘You’re going to be fine,’

“How can you be so sure?” he asked, and he held up his arm, eyes on the bandages. “I’m not like Aaron,”

‘No, you’re not. You’re your own person, and you’re Alden, and we’ll make things OK.’ She looked him over, hand going over his cheek, fingers in his hair. ‘You lost a lot of blood, get some rest, you’ll need it before we move again. I’ll be here when you wake up.’

“Or you’ll be out punching Pamela’s teeth out,”

Nix laughed, something watery, and she nodded. ‘Or that. I love you.’

Alden smiled, lone hand coming to rest on her wrist. “I love you too. I’m serious, get washed, you stink.”

‘Oh, how nice of you,’ she signed, a hint of a smile on her face.

He was right; she wouldn’t be getting rid of him. He was still there, in her memories, in her love for music, the way she played the piano. Hell, she was holding a piece of him in that harmonica. Maybe she’d be able to teach Adam how to play the piano too. If she ever had a kid she’d name it Luke – or Luciana or something else if she had a girl.

With Adam settled on his chest, holding onto him, it was only a matter of seconds before Alden was out of it. Adam quickly followed, and Nix tucked them in before she went to wash her hands.

Kelly joined her in the small bathroom, and they washed their hands of the blood that had dried and caked on their hands. Neither of them had any words. Words didn’t help, and neither of them could put them to use. They still hugged and cried into each other’s shoulders, wishing that things had turned out differently. Yumiko brought Nix some spare clothes; her jeans and t-shirt were soaked in drying blood, beyond salvage. They were just clothes. She had the harmonica. Once she was clean, and in fresh clothes, Nix went back to the bedroom Alden and Adam were in. There was a quiet conversation in the kitchen that she wasn’t privy to.

They were safe for now. It wasn’t going to last long, Nix knew that. She was terrified of what was going to come and didn’t want to risk thinking about after. It was too dangerous, and she couldn’t get her hopes up thinking about everything after they’d dealt with Pamela.

Notes:

Today, 21/12/2022 marks two years since I started writing Silence! It's been a long journey but it's not over yet.

Chapter 43: Blaze of Glory

Chapter Text

Sophia came and joined her once the conversations had died down. They were resting and recovering, and Enid and Tomi were still awake, talking quietly, treating Judith. They’d come into the room a few times, checking in on Alden, administering painkillers, checking the bandages, the wound. Nix had put the harmonica back in her pocket, but it felt like it was burning against her leg, and she couldn’t forget it was there.

‘He’s missing a hand,’ Sophia signed after maybe an hour and a half. Nix nodded, feeling numb. ‘How’s he going to do his job – look after Adam, talk to you?’

‘I’ve been thinking about it,’ Nix told her. ‘Prosthetics, mostly. One for the smithy, another for basic stuff, another for … I don’t know. They could have claws on them, mechanisms to make them open and shut. We’d have to look up prosthetics, find some books, diagrams, and make them from scratch. It’ll scare the shit out of Adam.’

Sophia reached out and knocked her ankle against Nix’s. ‘He’s doing alright so far,’

Nix gestured at them. ‘Adam was screaming and crying, and he missed us and was terrified. He’s going to realise Alden’s missing a hand when he grabs him or something. We’re a right pair,’ she signed, eyes going back to Alden’s face. At least one of them was getting some sleep. ‘What a stupid family – a deaf mom and an amputee dad. All we need now is for Adam to go fucking blind.’

‘Don’t even speak that into existence. I’ll lose my shit if you go through anything else,’ Sophia slowed down a little, eyes going over Nix’s face. ‘I’m sorry you lost Luke. I know you two were close.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder, but she could feel the tears warming her face. ‘He was my dad, stepped up to the role. I love him so much. I – what am I supposed to do? Luke’s always been there, and now he isn’t. We never got to do that stupid Luke and Friends performance he wanted to do. Now it’s just me and Alden, and it’s not like he can play the guitar,’

Sophia moved closer to her and pulled her to her side. Sophia brushed through Nix’s hair with her fingers, letting Nix cling to her, ignoring the wet splotches on her sleeves. Nix was exhausted, but she was too wired to go to sleep, too on guard. She couldn’t sleep, not if something happened to Alden and Adam; couldn’t in case something happened, and they had to start moving and running.

They pulled away from each other after a while, wiping at their faces. God, they were emotional wrecks. Sophia knocked her forehead against Nix’s. ‘Don’t worry yourself too much. We’ll deal with the dead – who are smart, the fuck? – and then we can get the Commonwealth under control, we can kill Pamela, and live happily ever after.’

Nix snorted. ‘Happily ever after?’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘We’re a long way from that.’

Sophia blushed, and Nix stared at her a little, brain firing signals. What the hell did Sophia have planned?

‘Don’t you dare tell a soul what I’m about to tell you,’ Sophia signed.

Nix raised an eyebrow and gestured for Sophia to continue. Her friend sighed a little, blush still on her face, then she shoved her hand into her jacket pocket. Nix let out a small, surprised laugh when she realised what Sophia was holding. Well, in all fairness, it was about damn time.

‘We’ve been talking about it, but we never went through with it. I love her. She knows that, and I know she loves me. Which is crazy because I’m fucking mental. Enid is too, so I guess it matches up, right? But giving her a ring means that nothing can separate us. It’s a statement that we love each other. Though everyone already knows, so I don’t know. Traditions, I guess. I just love her. I want what Glenn and Maggie had, it was so sweet and lovely. Plus it’d be nice to have wedding vows and all that shit.’

Nix smiled, something true, excited. ‘You’d take her surname, right? Or make one up?’

‘Maybe take Sutton – Ezekiel’s surname.’

‘What the fuck, Alden took Earl’s, his was Sutton too.’

“Huh, small world.”

‘Common name,’ Nix signed, eyes on that little ring. She could remember that night in Hilltop when Alden slipped up. They’d been joking because he’d called her his girl, which she’d thought was cute and funny, but then he’d gone ahead and said, I don’t have a ring to give you to be my wife.

Maybe once Sophia and Enid got married, Nix and Alden could too. They’d talked about it, but not properly, only in passing. He’d said he could make her a ring, and she’d told him she could find him one. Was that their proposal to each other? Did that make them engaged? God, everything had been happening so fast, it’d been pushed to the back of her mind. They’d really gone and promised each other that.

Her fingers went to the ring Hazel had given her. One to join this. Fuck, she was going to have a crisis if she thought about it anymore.

‘You’re a sap,’ Nix told Sophia. ‘Do what makes you happy. Can I be maid of honour?’

‘Shut up,’ Sophia signed, putting the ring away. ‘I’m just … I don’t know, I’ll propose and then if we’re in the Commonwealth, we can get a signed marriage paper or something. If we’re not, then we can just celebrate back home. Have a small party or something.’

‘You’re gonna be a great wife,’

Sophia laughed a little. “Yeah, I hope so.” She looked around, and Nix copied her. Aaron was standing in the doorway, and Nix caught Carol’s name on his mouth. “Be right back.” Sophia got up and moved past Aaron, into the house in search of her mother.

Aaron came and sat in the chair beside the bed. Nix was relieved to see he’d shed his walker coat. Maybe he’d put it up somewhere out of the way, so that the guts and rotted blood couldn’t spread infection in the air – or brush up against someone’s bandages.

‘Am I going to get a pep talk from you too?’ Nix asked after a moment.

Aaron smiled and inclined his head a little. “He’s a fighter,” Aaron said, right hand trying to sign along as best he could. Nix nodded, wiping at her nose. She was getting sick and tired of crying, wet eyes and runny nose. She wanted to lock her emotions away until she could process them and just feel them. She couldn’t do that yet, but they kept getting the better of her. “I … understand what it’s like,” he said and waved his left arm a little. Nix knew what happened; they’d been trying to rebuild a bridge, and some asshole fucked up and Aaron’s arm ended up crushed. Enid was the one to amputate and treat him. She’d done well then. She’d done good here too. Nix nodded, not sure what to do.

‘You two got close,’ she signed. ‘If he dies, I’m going to lose my mind,’

Aaron offered a sad smile. “I lost Eric,” he started, and Nix’s heart did a funny flip. “The fight with the Saviors. He’d … he was my husband and I loved him so much. I still do. I’ve never truly moved on … but things with Paul – Jesus – they’re good too. I know you lost Hazel. I guess what I’m saying is I’ve not lost Jesus, you won’t lose Alden.”

Nix sighed as she looked back to Alden. ‘I know. But it’s still worrying. I’ve already lost Luke. I don’t want to lose him too – not in the same day. We’ve not even dealt with Pamela for what she did to Judith.’

“He’s going to be fine. Bumped up and bruised, but he’ll be OK,” Aaron said, and he offered a small smile. “He’s going to need you so damn bad when this is all over, and you’re going to have to help him through it all.”

Nix nodded and tried to ignore the way she felt like she was drowning. They weren’t even close to finishing what Pamela started, and now so many people were hurt, and Nix’s little family felt like it was starting to crumble in her hands. They didn’t get to say anything more before there was a commotion in the house. The sounds must’ve woken Alden, as he was awake once more, holding Adam as he tried to get out of bed. Nix helped him and they went through to the others.

Judith was awake, surrounded by her brother and parents. Mercer was at the window with a pair of binoculars, a tense look on his face. Everyone was back on high alert. Mercer turned around and said something that Nix didn’t catch, going to the kitchen counter and took a machine gun.

Carl noticed. ‘They’re shooting people trying to climb the gates.’

Mercer was talking to them, probably telling them about the truck, the reserves it had, all the supplies left. It probably had more than enough to get them home. But Nix knew that they couldn’t leave, not yet. Not while people were being killed trying to get to safety, not while Pamela was sitting high and mighty.

Ezekiel said something, but Nix didn’t quite catch it, too far to try and lip-read. Whatever he said, it had Rick nodding as he got to his feet. They stood together, speaking to the group, calm and steady, natural born leaders.

‘This place, the people are worth it. They don’t deserve to die when we can save them and give them their lives back. Are you with me?’

Nix half-smiled. ‘Sure, why not?’ she signed, and Connie nodded along, a determined look on her face.

It turned out to be pretty easy to sneak out of the house. Mercer led the way, bringing with him an ample number of troopers who believed in him and didn’t betray him for Pamela. They went first, and their people followed after, guns raised. Nix made Alden stay behind with Lydia and Adam and the rest of the little kids. He wasn’t pleased but he didn’t argue with her.

It felt good to overwhelm them, so many more of them than Pamela and her people. Her gun was raised, and she was waiting for the excuse to pull the trigger. But they couldn’t. The plan was to make Pamela and the troopers surrender and let the people into the safety of the Estates. Pamela was staring at Mercer, shock and anger on her face. She yelled something at him. Nix couldn’t tell what was going on, but Carl was by her side, ready to give her a signal if need be.

The walkers were coming closer, and Nix could smell them and felt the rumbling of their thousands of dead feet getting ever closer.

Then Gabriel was walking out of their line, moving past Mercer and the troopers, past Pamela. He made it to the gate before a trooper got up into his space and put a gun against his head. Gabriel didn’t flinch.

Rick shouted something and turned to look at Pamela. She stared at him, too angry for words, but it didn’t matter because Rick had plenty. “We all deserve better than this. Your people deserve better than this. You built this place to be like the old world, that was the fucking problem, Pamela. I used to believe the only way to survive was to embrace the inner savageness, but I can see how wrong I was. This new world is a gift, a chance to make things better than they were before. Bringing back the old world with its flawed systems is a mistake.”

Pamela said something, but Nix couldn’t see her face.

“If you don’t, you will lose everything. Believe me. We have one enemy, you know it. The future is bright, but only if we work together. We are not the walking dead.”

The general lowered her gun and ordered for the rest to do the same. Nix couldn’t see what she was saying, but Carl lowered his gun, so she did the same. She watched, nervous, as Gabriel was handed a key. The general turned to Pamela, then looked to Mercer, who put her under arrest. Nix wished that they could just kill her. But that would turn her into a martyr, and that would only make Pamela smug and confident in her actions.

Nix followed Ezekiel and the others, jogging towards the gate. They opened it up, letting the people in before they were shutting the gates before the walkers could get in. The gate locked and secured, they stepped back as the dead reached for them, snarling and trying to grab at them. Nix saw Jerry and Elijah come through before the dead got there, and she could only feel the briefest of relief to see they were alive and well.

They backed away, going deeper into the Estates, and Nix stood beside Carl, guns raised, unsure of what to do. The dead were all there, smelling awful. Nix squinted and realised that Hornsby’s walker form was there, reaching through the gate, snarling and snapping its jaws at them. She glanced over at some movement and saw Pamela walking towards the gate. Pamela let the walker grab her, and she was pulling away a little, before she seemed to give up, moving close. Carl’s gun was raised, and the shot went off without a second thought from him. Hornsby’s walker form died, and Pamela stumbled back at the shock.

Nix cursed when she saw that Judith was there, leaning against Michonne, and Alden was there, looking tired and exhausted.

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ Nix asked him once she’d moved over to him. ‘I tell you to stay behind and you ignore me.’

‘I listened, and then Lydia left, so I followed to make sure she was OK.’

Nix pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose. ‘You’re insufferable,’

 


 

 

Rick, Mercer, Ezekiel and Daryl were hatching a plan to deal with the walkers. They didn’t want to risk leading them away – whether the people were in cars or on horses or in the horde themselves – there were variant walkers. They could climb and grab things and were terrifying to handle. They’d not dealt with anything like that before, at least, not in such an intense manner.

Carol suggested fire. Sophia suggested blowing up the Estates.

Somehow, against all odds, they went with Sophia’s suggestion. Nix hadn’t seen that one coming. Aaron brought up the training that they’d all been doing when the Whisperers had been the biggest threat to deal with. Mercer wanted them to do that so they could get a vehicle out of the Estates and to the fuel depot. Once they had the fuel, they were going to bring it back to them. Others would use other cars to distract the horde until it was time for them to be blown up to high heaven. Princess used to work in the music store, and she knew how to wire a few things up. She set up the vinyl player to several amps, so many wires and extensions were used to place the PA systems around the Estates to bring all the walkers in.

Nix wasn’t privy to much of the information on how they were going to blow up the Estates, just that she and several others had to dump the fuel into the Estate’s sewer system. She knew enough, and that was all she needed. Plus, with everyone around, it wasn’t hard to know when it was time to get the hell out of there.

Princess directed people, making them set up PA systems to blast loud rock music. It was going to bring the walkers down on them, but they were moving as quickly as they could. Mercer placed dynamite around the Estate once Eugene and Rosita had set them up, rigged to blow at the right moment.

Nix leaned on one of the amps, feeling the harsh tones of the rock music vibrating in her bones. It felt like the music her dad used to listen to. It reminded her of Luke, all the music and setting everything up for something akin to a performance. He’d taught them all how to do it, how to set everything up, how to avoid feedback. With Luke’s knowledge that he’d passed on to them, they were going to use it to destroy that stupid fucking horde Pamela had brought down on her people.

They all clambered into their vehicles, retreating to the rendezvous. Once the music was done, everything was going to blow. Nix was cramped between Alden and Carl, with several others in the back with them. Sophia had Enid in her lap, pressed up against Nix, Carl and Alden’s legs, both of them tense, eyes on the buildings. Even there, she could see feel the vibrations of the music, heavy and moving around her head. They’d done as much as they could in the time they’d had. It had to be enough.

The drive was harsh, bumpy. People were tense, watching the Estates become smaller as they retreated. Someone had loosened up the gates, and it’d only been a short matter of time before the gates gave away and the walkers entered. They were long gone by now, and their exit was shut securely.

Nix was holding Adam in her arms, an arm looped through Alden’s. She ignored her it was his left, the one without his hand. Fuck, they could deal with that later. Ten minutes later, the music stopped. They’d got to the rendezvous. No-one moved, watching and waiting. It felt like everyone had stopped breathing. Nix put her hands over Adam’s ears, tense.

As one, everyone jerked back, faces illuminated by the fire. It shot up high into the sky, smoke so thick and black. The fire and explosions got bigger and bigger. The entire Estate went up in flames, fire billowing out. Nix squinted and saw several walkers and body parts were thrown into the air. The explosion sent shockwaves, and everyone grimaced, clutching each other tightly. The explosion lasted thirty seconds or so, with shockwaves rattling them for another ten seconds.

Buildings collapsed and the trees were on fire. The forest wasn’t, which had to be a good thing.

“Fuck,” Sophia said clearly. Enid twisted a little to look at her, speaking quickly.

Nix looked down at Adam, brushing his hair from his face. He looked confused, close to tears. ‘You OK?’ she asked him. Adam pulled a face, then nodded and planted his face in her chest. Nix kissed the top of his head and wrapped her arms around him once more.

“Hey, how the fuck are we putting that fire out?” Sophia asked, looking around. Nix snorted, a smile on her face. She started to laugh a little, and then Alden and Carl did the same. Adam started to laugh too, a wide smile on his face. The others around them started to laugh too. God, they were so fucked up.

With the dead dealt with, they now had to deal with the clean-up. Some people from the Commonwealth noticed that the dead had been killed and that there were only a few stragglers left to deal with. People came together to put out the fires and take care of the corpses. It was odd, to see so many people come out of their homes and hide holes. The dead were easy enough to deal with, now that most of them were charred beyond comprehension. If there were any variant walkers, they’d been no match for the fire.

Everyone took turns, taking naps and breaks, well into the next day. It was only when late afternoon started to bloom had the clean-up been finished. Though the Estates were still charred and completely destroyed, no-one seemed to miss it.

‘More walkers are going to come, from the sound and the smell,’ Sophia signed. She’d been talking with Mercer about it. ‘Some of us are going to go over the gates, make sure they’re still secure, run the perimeter.’

‘Alright, let’s go,’ Nix signed, getting to her feet. Over the last few recent hours, she’d managed to catch a few winks of sleep. She’d slept with Alden and Adam with her, the toddler splayed across their laps.

“Variants,” Mercer cut in, then made a gesture to his ears.

‘Ain’t got shit on me.’

Sophia grinned at her, then let Nix slide into the driver’s seat of the Jeep. The two of them, with Mercer, Jesus, and a trooper in tow, went off to the gate that the dead had come through.

They made quick work of the walkers they came across that weren’t dead. They took out the troopers that had turned and managed to shut the large gates. Mercer, Jesus, and the trooper went up top to manage the levers and whatever the fuck else was up there. Nix and Sophia stayed on the ground and scanned the area for any walkers that were trying to creep up on them.

‘Smart walkers, huh?’ Sophia signed, striking up a conversation.

Nix snorted. ‘We tell you about Coalport?’ she asked. Sophia shrugged, tilting her head from side to side. ‘Some idiot left the gates open, walkers got in. From what I know, they tried to shut the gates but some of the dead forced them back open. I guess we figured it was some dickhead amongst the dead, but maybe it was a variant.’

‘I wanna know how they became a thing.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘CDC?’ she suggested. ‘Worked on a cure, maybe they made the variation before things all went to shit.’

‘Wouldn’t Jenner have told us that? He told Rick we’re all infected.’

‘Maybe it was the French. They made fucking snail soup or whatever. They probably made the variant too.’

“Huh,” Sophia said. She caught the way Nix frowned at her. “The French, they were the last ones to try, worked right to the very end. The power grid fell, and the CDC lost contact.” She frowned a little. “My best guess? The French were so damn close to a cure, but then made the variant by accident, like a by-product.”

‘But how did the variant get here? America’s not exactly next-door neighbours with France.’

Sophia shrugged; eyebrows raised a little, unsure. ‘Maybe someone infected with the variant came from France? Or … it spreads through the air. I mean, somehow we’re all infected, we don’t know how that works. Given enough time, maybe it spread through the air, and someone inhaled the variant? Look, I’m not a scientist, I don’t have any good answers.’

Nix smiled a little, then looked back around. In the distance, she spotted a walker on the floor, pulling itself along. She nodded towards it, and Sophia raised her gun. The walker stopped, body lying in the grass.

Mercer and his trooper came back, and they got back in the Jeep. They ran the perimeter, checked the gates and the troopers on them, circling around a few times to make sure things were safe and secure. It’d be alright for now. They just had to deal with the clean-up job and how to deal with the people of the Commonwealth.

Pamela, once it’d been safe enough to do so, was made to sit in a jail cell. She was going to get a proper trial, though everyone knew that she was going to be put into prison for a long while.

They eventually made it back to the others. They’d cleared out some of the streets and were making their way through the rest of the streets. They were nearing the hospital.

‘Jules and Luke,’ Nix signed when they came to a stop. She looked at Sophia, feeling the way the tears were trying to force their way out. She had to blink several times, working her jaw a little.

‘We find them and bury them together. You’ll get to say goodbye. You don’t have to look at whatever remains.’

‘I had to stop him from turning – I shot Jules.’

‘To stop her pain,’ Sophia looked at her, hands going to Nix’s shoulders before she pulled her into a brief, tight hug. ‘Don’t carry that weight when you don’t need to. You did what you had to, and you did it out of mercy. We get rid of the dead, and we put our people aside to be buried.’

Nix nodded and looked to the side. She could do this.

 


 

 

Maggie and Negan had been spotted talking outside, though Nix wasn’t sure what they were talking about. Maggie didn’t go to kill him, so the conversation wasn’t deadly. But now with everything sorted, and troopers being good at their jobs, it meant their group could take a pause and breathe. So they had dinner together.

They were in some new house, all of them cramped into the kitchen and dining room. They were dressed in fresh clothes and had some form of a quick shower too. It was almost surreal. They were safe, felt at ease, and had each other. There was a variety of meat ready to eat, alongside fresh vegetables, with gravy and potatoes and different dishes Nix didn’t recognise. It was almost like Thanksgiving out of a movie. There were even candles lit around the table, the tablecloth fresh and white with napkins placed by their plates.

Nix was sitting at the table, across from Sophia and Enid. Adam was next to her, in a highchair Rick had found, and Alden was on his other side. Everyone was so close together, elbows knocking, but Nix didn’t mind in the least. They were all there, most of them anyway.

Yumiko went around and poured red wine for everyone. Dog was walking around them, begging for food. Judith gave him the most because she couldn’t say no to the dog. Everyone was smiling and joking around, and Nix and Alden kept trying to stop Adam from throwing his carrots everywhere, much to the amusement of the others around them. Daryl got up and moved away, looking out the window. Nix didn’t pay it much mind.

Yumiko stood up, a glass of wine in her hand, and she looked around the table at them all. “A toast to Luke,” she said, signing his name with her free hand.

Nix smiled a little. ‘To Luke,’ she signed, blinking back the tears. She raised her glass, and the others did the same. Nix drank and grimaced. Fucking wine. Somehow moonshine tasted better. Maybe it was one of those acquired taste kind of things.

“And Jules,” Lydia said, and they raised their glasses once more.

Rick got to his feet, and everyone turned to look at him. Daryl returned to the table and settled down beside Nix. He smiled at her and pressed up against her before he put his hand on the table. She scoffed a little but put her hand in his. She grinned and squeezed his hand.

‘I thought you were going to sit next to Connie,’

He scoffed and shoved at her, a blush forming on his face.

Rick smiled at their antics but continued talking. Nix didn’t feel the need to lip-read, simply at ease to just watch Rick talk. She guessed he was thanking them, telling them how much they meant to him. That they were good people and had fought so hard and deserved to feel happy and have this moment. He raised his glass, and everyone did the same before they continued eating. Nix caught the way Michonne held Rick’s hand tightly, the two of them talking together. Carl and Judith were talking too, giving Dog more than enough food from their plates.

Eugene and Max were talking together, smiles on their faces as they looked at each other. Connie was talking to her sister and across the table to Daryl. Nix could feel the heat radiating off him as he blushed and smiled at her like a teenager. Kelly caught Nix’s eye and they both rolled their eyes at the same time. The other couples were talking to their partners, turning to look at the others every so often. Lydia was talking to Aaron and Jesus, Elijah cramped next to her, an arm around her shoulders.

Everyone ate, taking their fill. It was nice to have so much food and see people asking for seconds or even thirds. They were happy, as much as they could be. Things would settle down, and they could do whatever they wanted – expand, build, and put their lives back into action.

Once the food was gone, and everyone spread out from the table, Nix let Adam wander over to Coco, both of them babbling at each other. Connie took something from Daryl’s plate, a cheeky smile on her face. Nix tried the wine again, only to grimace and lean back against the counter

‘Not a fan?’ Carl asked. ‘Me neither,’

He’d not touched it.

‘You were twelve when you last tried it,’ she signed, remembering that dinner at the CDC, memories faded. ‘Your sister likes it more than you,’ she added, and Judith looked up when Carl gasped. She blushed when she realised she’d been caught drinking out of his glass of wine. Sheepishly, she handed it back to her brother.

“It’s not that bad. Maybe you just suck.”

“Oh, me? I suck?”

“Suck dick,” Judith said, then immediately clasped her hands over her mouth. Nix burst into laughter, hand over her own mouth. Judith looked between them, and probably said something from behind her hands.

Carl shook his head at her, then pulled her into a headlock and rubbed his knuckles over her hair. She pushed him away, then grabbed his glass of wine. Nix smiled at them fondly before she tipped the rest of her wine into the glass. Judith looked at her, and she winked.

She moved away, around the people, towards where Alden and Lydia were sitting on the couch. The kids were on the rug in front of them, the coffee table moved out of harm’s way. Everything was nice, perfect. Nix didn’t want to forget it. She leaned into Alden’s side, and his lone hand came to rest on her side. She put her hands around his wrist, knowing what was ahead of them. She could dare to risk thinking about the future.

They stayed like that for a long while, until it became clear that someone wasn’t doing so well.

It turned out that when Alden had fallen and had subsequently been bitten, Gabriel had been too. Only he couldn’t amputate the area and had to let it happen. Rosita was by his bedside, with Coco in her arms. Everyone was taking turns saying goodbye to him. Nix wasn’t sure how to talk to him but signed her goodbye to him and thanked him for what he’d done for their people. He wasn’t looking good, the fever taking him, a sheen of sweat on his skin. Rosita was talking to him quietly, a hand in his. Rick came in, only to shake Gabriel’s hand and thank him for everything he’d done over the years.

Eugene held Coco out in the hallway with everyone else. They gave Rosita and Gabriel the privacy they wanted. It took over half an hour before she came out, drying blood smeared on her knife. Eugene pulled her into a hug and let her sob into his shoulder. The others moved around, getting blankets to cover Gabriel, someone else getting the car ready to take his body to the morgue. Maggie and Carol were there for Rosita too, offering comfort to her. How long had they been together? How long had they all known each other? They were all family, and they were mourning him and doing their best for Rosita.

Chapter 44: Life Goes On

Chapter Text

They had many funerals, mourning the people the Commonwealth lost. Gabriel, Luke and Jules, as well as an Oceansider that Nix didn’t know, had bigger funerals. They’d died in the attempt to fix what Pamela had done, and their names were put on plaques. It’d been emotional, burying their people. Nix made sure that Jules and Luke were buried together, what remained of them. She could remember how very little had been left of Jules, the walkers tearing her into pieces. Luke’s body hadn’t been much better, but the dead had left him alone once his body had gone cold.

The hospital was being rebuilt, and a lot of areas in the Commonwealth had been sectioned off for reconstruction. Troopers weren’t allowed heavy-fire guns in the Commonwealth anymore, and they had more thorough training before being allowed to carry them within the walls. Guards monitored the walls and made sure people were aware of the variant walkers. A lot of rebuilding had happened on the walls to ensure that even the variant walkers couldn’t climb in, spikes on the walls, and hand and foot holes impossible to find.

Supplies were sent to Alexandria and the Hilltop via the train. Now that the train and the tracks were a public knowledge type of thing, people were willing to do the job, so long as they were paid.

Money still weirded Nix the fuck out. Hilltop and Alexandria didn’t use money, but the Commonwealth continued to do so.

It was nice to be back at the Hilltop once more. Barrington had been rebuilt, and their new homes were made. Security measures had been put in place for the variant walkers, and patrols were regular on the roads, in different sectors. Rick and the rest of the leaders wanted to make a frontier, it’d help keep their communities safe and they’d be able to keep in contact and travel without much restriction. It was terrifying, but it meant that the future was bright and ever closer.

‘Good to be back, right?’ Nix asked. She, Alden and Adam had settled down for the night in one of the many rooms of Barrington, just until a new home was available for them to move in. Most of the new houses were similar to cabins or bungalows but were big enough for everyone to live in comfortably. Sophia and Enid had returned to the Hilltop about a week earlier and were already settled in and back doing their jobs. Nix was waiting for when Sophia would finally ask Enid to marry her.

Alden nodded from his spot on the bed. His stump had healed over nicely, but Nix caught him looking at it more often than not. He didn’t notice he was doing it for the most part. Nix sighed a little and climbed onto the bed, sitting cross-legged next to him. He pressed his lips together before he looked at her. “Just thinking,” he said.

‘You know you can sign that with your hand,’ Alden raised his stump. Nix raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Use it as your palm. I’ll get what you mean.’

‘I know,’ he signed, then looked down at his left arm. Nix moved over to him, hands on his cheeks, tilting his head so she could see his face. “Don’t make me say it.”

‘Say what?’

“That I’m not – I’m not good enough anymore, am I? I can’t sign with one hand – not, I’m not like you. I can’t do it like that, and I can’t work. Adam doesn’t like it.” Alden said, then wiped at his eyes, pushing Nix away from him. “You know, I’d get it if you left, took Adam with you or – or just. I don’t know.”

Nix stopped him from looking away from her. ‘No. You do not get to do that to me,’ she signed, barely contained anger. ‘I love you. I don’t care if you’re missing a hand or a leg or anything. It’s you. Who you are, how you care for Adam, the shit jokes you make. Your terrible flirting,’

Alden smiled a little, watery and unsure.

‘I won’t leave you over something like that. So what if you’re missing a hand? I can’t hear shit. You haven’t left me because of that, so why would I leave you? I’d rather you alive and one hand down than dead with both hands.’ She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘OK? Together or not at all. We’re in this together. You dare say anything like that to me again, I’ll – castrate you.’

It made Alden laugh. Nix smiled and pulled him into a kiss. They pulled apart to hug, and Nix didn’t mind that he held onto her tight enough to hurt a little. They slept curled up around each other and made space between them when Adam climbed into their bed, demanding their attention.

Morning came and with it the Grimes family.

Maggie greeted them with warm smiles and hugs. Carl moved around her once she’d finished greeting him and he walked over to Nix and Alden.

“Something for you,” he said, holding out a bag. He shot Nix a shy smile, and she nodded her thanks to him as Alden opened up the bag.

After the funerals, Nix pulled Carl aside and asked him to make some prosthetics for Alden when he got the chance. He’d asked for how many she wanted, and she gave him a list – one to use at the smithy that could grip things, another for basic movement, so he could use a hook of sorts as a hand, and another that was similar to Aaron’s, metal had exchangeable for something more dangerous. Three in total, with a lot of descriptions. They’d mentioned it to Alden, who let them take measurements, but he didn’t seem to think much of it. Carl told Nix he’d keep it under wraps and would go to work on the project as soon as he got the chance.

Alden pulled out one of the three, the one for the smithy. He looked between them, a little confused, but then Carl was speaking, explaining it and how it worked. Alden looked at the prosthetic for a moment before he nodded and let the two strap it on. It was a little bit fiddly, but they managed. Nix figured she’d master helping Alden put it on, and felt a little bit bad that he’d need her help putting it on.

“So when you hold something down to hammer it out, you just need to apply some pressure and it’ll lock in place. It’s got a few locking mechanisms so that you can carry things and move around without getting burned to shit.”

Alden nodded, a flurry of emotions on his face. “Thanks, man,” he said. Nix smiled a little as the two hugged. Judith went and started to talk to Hershel, both of them perking up a little. They walked into Barrington, arms moving wildly as they spoke. Jesus came out of Barrington, and Judith raised her hand for a high-five. Jesus complied, a smile on his face before he went to greet Rick.

Jesus, Rick and Maggie walked through Hilltop as Michonne went to try and find her kids, as RJ had gone running after his sister. Nix left Alden and Carl to talk, hand on Alden’s arm briefly before she vanished into the infirmary. Enid was in the back, and there weren’t many patients, just someone who’d knocked his head when trying his hand at the smithy.

‘Need anything?’ Enid asked when she saw her there.

Nix shook her head. ‘Grimes lot are here,’ she told her instead. ‘Do you have any, uh, therapy books?’ she asked.

‘No, not really. Why?’

‘Alden’s not doing good. Thinks he’s not good enough anymore. Which is obviously bullshit, but he’s stubborn and an absolute fucking idiot,’ she stopped when she saw Enid laughing. ‘What?’

‘Like an old married couple,’ she signed, a smile gracing her face. ‘I have a few physiotherapy books I can dig up. I stole a few from the Commonwealth while we were packing up. I can get someone to find some therapy books – or something about dealing with life as an amputee.’

Nix nodded. ‘Thanks, you’re a lifesaver.’

‘It’s my job.’ She shrugged. ‘Tell Alden I want to check him over again – those prosthetics are padded, but it’ll ache like hell, and I want to make sure it doesn’t irritate the scar tissue or fuck with any nerve endings.’

‘Yeah, you got it, doc,’

 


 

 

They had a community dinner later that day, as a celebration of how far they’d come, and to thank the Grimes family for joining them.

“We have a lot to do – to build and remake and turn this back into our home. We’ve come so far, and I’m proud of everyone for doing what they’ve done,” Maggie said, at the head of the long table. “I’d like to thank each and every one of you for your hard work. I’d also like to thank Rick Grimes for making this possible, giving us the inspiration, and the will to keep going when things got tough.”

Glasses were raised, cheers were made, and then everyone started in on their meals. Alden was wearing the second prosthetic, for general use. He kept the hook end on his lap, and Nix didn’t point it out or ask questions. She cut the meat on his plate when he moved it to her. Adam stole from both their plates and occupied himself with staring at the end of the prosthetic, fingers going over it, intrigued.

Sophia stood up once the mealtime had started to slow down. “Uh. Hi. Yeah, I wanted to make an announcement too,” she said, signing along. She looked nervous and excited, and Nix started smiling. Sophia looked at her, then flipped her off. “So, uh. Me and Enid are getting married.”

The round of applause scared Adam, and he looked around before he clapped too. Sophia was trying her best not to blush, and Enid was looking up at her with complete and utter awe and devotion.

“We’re gonna have a little ceremony here, and y’all can come and celebrate or do whatever you want. I don’t care. I love Enid, and she loves me, and that’s all that matters.” Sophia smiled at all of them. “Oh, and if anyone’s got a spare baby going, we’ll take it off your hands and be awesome gay moms.”

Everyone laughed, and Sophia sat down. Nix saw how Enid took her hand under the table. She figured Sophia must’ve been nervous about announcing the whole thing. Sophia calmed down quickly, easing into her skin and her spot with ease. They were good for each other.

‘Proud of you,’ Nix signed when Sophia looked back around, expression calmer.

‘Shut up, Mom,’ she signed with a roll of her eyes. ‘Thanks,’ she added sincerely.

People started to disperse, and Nix picked Adam up as Alden got up. Jesus showed the Grimes family off to the room they’d be staying in. He was deep in conversation with Rick, talking about something or other.

‘Aunty Maggie,’ he signed, and Nix raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Want her.’

Nix looked over at Maggie, who’d caught the sign language, and looked a little bit alarmed. ‘He wants you.’

‘Story!’

Maggie looked at Nix. “Is that OK?” she asked.

Nix nodded. ‘I need to talk to Alden anyway. If he pouts at you when it’s time for bed, don’t give in. It’s super cute and works most of the time.’ Maggie smiled a little at that and took Adam from her.

“You’re a good mom,” she told her. “I was around your age when I had Hershel. You’re doing better than me,”

‘Don’t sell yourself so short. Do you want me to pick him up later?’

Maggie shook her head. “Talk it out with Alden. I’ll keep this one occupied.”

‘Thanks.’

With Adam happy to spend some time with his Aunty Maggie, Nix and Alden went to their room. Nix spotted Sophia and Enid rushing to their cabin, hand in hand and giggling. They made it to their room and locked the door. She pulled him to their bed, and he smiled tiredly.

“Aunty Maggie, huh?”

‘He’s picking up things quick.’ Nix shrugged. ‘Do you want me to help?’ she asked, gesturing to the prosthetic. Alden looked at it before he looked at the floor and nodded. He let Nix ease it off, and she put it aside. Her hands went over his arm, and he shivered when her fingers went over the scarred skin.

“I can’t stand it,” he said when she looked up at him. “I can feel my hand there, but I can see it’s not. I know Aaron told me I’d feel it and have bad days … it’s just so horrific.”

Nix pressed a kiss to his shoulder. ‘It shows you made hard choices and made sure you’d survive. I don’t think it’s horrific. I think it’s going to take us time to get used to it, but it’s not horrific. You’re alive and you’re here, and we have a son. That’s the weirdest thing out of all of it.’

Alden smiled a little. “I love you.”

‘I love you too.’

They kissed, hands moving around each other. Nix shifted on the bed, and Alden did the same. He was soon above her, letting her unbutton his shirt. She pulled it off him and threw it aside, hands going up his torso. Carefully, she pulled Alden down and ended up on top of him. Sex was a good distraction when Alden had a bad day, or when Nix had a bad one. It wasn’t like it was a rarity for them before, but they certainly had sex when they had the chance. They both liked it and knew their limits. Sophia made a joke about Adam needing a younger sibling.

Nix thought about her miscarriage from time to time. The small thing that could’ve been. She knew she wasn’t ready at the time, so unprepared for the possibility of bringing another life into the world, and a guilty part of her was thankful that she’d miscarried. But now, after Pamela was prisoned for the rest of her life, with everyone finally safe and alive and well – she thought that the idea of children was as safe as it was going to be. Sure, it scared the living shit out of her, and she talked to Alden about her fears and anxieties.

Maybe they’d have kids, but it wasn’t one of their top priorities. With Adam two years old, probably going on three,

Sophia and Enid’s wedding came in the form of a small celebration on a sunny day. Maggie and Nix spent that morning making a cake. Neither of them were good at it, but they did their best. The frosting was a bit hard to come by, but they had just enough to write out their names on the cake. The two wore their best clothes – which weren’t bloodstained or torn – and exchanged rings and gave their vows. Which was just right for them. They cut the cake together and talked with everyone else like it was a regular get together. It suited the two just fine.

 


 

 

The arrow shot through the air and found its place in the walker’s head. The corpse collapsed, and Nix moved forwards, taking the arrow out. She grimaced when it snapped in her hand, and she threw it aside. She looked around at Sophia and Quan and they followed her. Flashlights up, they moved into the mall. There were a few former troopers around, clearing areas for them. It was still a weird feeling, having troopers there to help. They were good people, did help them and kept sickos at bay. The new frontier was coming along well, and people were in good spirits.

They checked through the different stores, some of which were padlocked shut. Troopers moved to open them and took out the dead before they could come near them. Everyone was on edge about the variant walkers, though Nix wasn’t all that worried. They were few and far between, a rarity they’d only seen a handful of times.

The dead were cleared out rather quickly, and they were left to look around the stores. Nix came to a stop at the jewellery store. It’d been broken open, but there were still things inside. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Sophia appeared beside her, a large grin on her face.

‘You can shut the fuck up,’ Nix signed at her before she could get a word out. Feeling a little embarrassed about being caught, Nix kicked the door open and went inside. Naturally, Sophia followed after her.

The place was ransacked, most items were gone. Though Nix saw a few sections that weren’t completely void of items. She ignored Sophia peering over her shoulder when she looked at the wedding band section. The light from her flashlight reflected off the glass and the rings, and she eyed them up. She spied a silver one she liked the looks of and pulled it out.

‘Do you know his ring size?’

Nix looked at her. ‘I could make a joke about cock rings, but I’m being a nice friend,’

“Yuck.”

Nix smiled a little, then put the ring on her thumb. A little tight. She pulled it off and put it back, searching for one a bit bigger.

It took three more attempts before she found one that would fit. It was plain with no fancy details to it. She knew neither of them were bothered by fancy things, just the fact that they’d gone out and gotten it. She could remember that Alden made a promise to make her ring. Maybe he’d be able to now that he had the prosthetic.

‘Shut your face,’ Nix signed, pointing a finger in Sophia’s face before she walked past her to the others. They went through the stores, taking out anything that they could use, clothes that weren’t moth-eaten or full of insects. They found some more weapons and took them back to their cars. It was an alright haul, all things considered. Some of the people who were going to go back to the Commonwealth took some money from the cashiers, to help the economy. Nix didn’t know or care, and it was Mercer and Ezekiel’s job to monitor the cash flow and adjust where necessary.

Sophia let Nix drive their car back, sitting in the passenger seat, looking very smug. Nix ignored her completely. She wasn’t going to let it go now that she’d seen Nix go hunting for a ring. Nix frowned a little when a thought popped into her mind. He didn’t have a ring finger anymore. Well, he had his right hand, so he could put it on that finger. Or wear it as a necklace like Nix did with Hazel’s ring – and would do for the ring Alden would give her.

‘Do you have a necklace?’ she asked when they came to a stop for bathroom breaks.

‘Yeah.’

‘I want it.’

Sophia raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re lucky I was prepared,’ she signed and pulled out a dusty box from her pocket. “I grabbed it when you were looking for rings. Figured he’d have it around his neck like you do. Matching cuties.”

‘You’re insufferable. Thanks,’ she signed, accepting the box. She took the ring out and shoved it in the box before she put it away. It made her feel nervous and giddy. ‘Did you feel like your heart was going to explode before you proposed?’ Nix asked.

Sophia nodded. ‘I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. I still feel like that even now. But I love her, and she loves me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ She smiled. ‘Don’t worry. I know Alden’s been going through a lot, dealing with his amputation. But I know for a fact he loves you. Can I be maid of honour?’

‘Enid can be. You didn’t let me at your wedding.’

‘It wasn’t even like a proper wedding. Gabriel wasn’t there to officiate,’ she signed, sadness on her face for a moment. ‘I miss him.’

‘Me too. I miss them all.’ Nix bumped her shoulder into Sophia’s. ‘They live on in us. I still miss Luke so damn much it hurts. They knew they were loved and would be missed; knew they left an impact on our lives.’

‘Yeah. Alright, enough of this sad shit. We can be happy. Our lives are good, there are no more threats, and I have a wife.’ Sophia climbed into the car. ‘It’s good. We have communities and now we have thousands of people. Over fifty thousand people in the Commonwealth alone.’

‘You sound chipper now that Pamela’s not in charge of the Commonwealth.’

Sophia shrugged. ‘She was shit, and Hornsby was awful. It had its faults, and they didn’t help make it better. Ezekiel’s good when it comes to crowds and all that, talking to the people, and seeing things on their level. Not to mention Mercer’s there helping, and the people love Mercer. My mom’s there, doing Hornsby’s job better than he ever could. They made a good team in the Kingdom, so it’s only natural they’re a good team handling the Commonwealth.’ She smiled fondly. ‘Ezekiel is a good man. I’ve never told him that. I never really told him he was a better father to me than Ed.’

Nix copied the fond smile. ‘Maybe now you have the chance to tell him. Have a honeymoon or something in the Commonwealth, and introduce him as your dad to Enid, her as your wife to him. I’m sure he’d be honoured. God knows he loves your mom; he loves you too.’

“Yeah. I – yeah. Thanks, Nix.”

‘Anytime.’

They saw the others getting ready to leave, going in their cars. Nix looked at Sophia. ‘I wanted to take Luke’s name. Abrams. He was like a dad to me, and I want his memory to live on.’

‘Hyphenate. Dixon-Abrams. It’s alright. Nix Abrams sounds cool too. Not as badass as Dixon though.’

‘And Sutton?’

‘Makes you sound like a housewife. You don’t have to take Alden’s name, y’know? Enid is a Rhee, in memory of Glenn, and I took it too because Peletier is Ed’s name and fuck him. Names are weird. Dixon-Abrams sounds good though. You never know, maybe Alden will be Dixon too, so it’ll keep you both connected.’

The first cars started moving. Nix put theirs into gear.

‘I’ll think about it.’

Chapter 45: Back to Normal

Chapter Text

The months passed by steadily. Time was weird, slow and steady but so fast at the same time. Adam continued to grow, learning sign language and the spoken language. He pissed Alden and Nix off to no end sometimes, but they loved him regardless. Potty training had been exhausting, learning what his limits were. But he was young and carefree and didn’t care that his mom was deaf, and his dad lost part of his arm. He was a good kid. Nix thought that they were doing pretty well, all things considered.

Alden was getting used to life without part of his arm, now one-handed and having to adjust everything in his life to it. Nix helped in any way she could, though there were times when she couldn’t help, and Alden wouldn’t let her. They had a few rough patches, but they got through them. They mostly happened when Alden had his bad days, when the pain would flare up and his phantom limb pain became unbearable – like when he was stressed, anxious or when the weather changed. Enid gave them salves for the stump, and painkillers when they had them. Though they helped, it was never enough.

Currently, the two were spending some time together in the hotel they’d gone to in the Commonwealth. Hotel. People were going back and forth between the communities, and the trains meant easier travel. It wasn’t Nix’s favourite method, but it was faster than a car. Adam enjoyed it anyway. The shaking movements made him laugh and giggle, though Nix was just relieved he didn’t have motion sickness or anything similar. She couldn’t deal with a toddler puking for hours on end in a closed environment.

Nix shifted in the bed. ‘I have something for you,’ she signed once she had Alden’s attention. He frowned at her, sitting up in bed, and she twisted around and pulled open the bedside table, pulling a small box out. She turned back around and opened it up, pulling the necklace out. She’d attached the ring to it a few months prior. She held it up between them, and sunlight reflected off it as it twirled around lazily. ‘I wanna marry you. Do you wanna marry me?’ she asked, feeling nervous and anxious.

Alden smiled, laughing a little. ‘Eloquent, aren’t you?’ he asked. “Of course I do.” He accepted the necklace and pulled it over his head. “You ruined my surprise,” he added, and then he went and pulled out his own ring for her. He held it up for her, a shy blush on his face. “Whenever you’ve been off hunting, I’ve been trying to perfect it. It’s – it’s not proper gold or anything, not like the one you gave me. I tried.”

‘It’s perfect, shut up,’ she signed. He huffed a laugh, watching her pull her own necklace off. He put it on and let it join the ring already there. ‘I love you,’ she signed once she’d put it back on.

‘I love you too,’ he replied, fondness in his eyes. “No big celebrations, right?”

‘Right,’ she nodded. She stretched a little. ‘We’re supposed to meet Connie and the others later.’

“Not yet right?” he asked. He looked around her to where Adam was sleeping peacefully, and his hand made its way to her hip. “Shower first?”

She smiled. ‘You’re insufferable, c’mon,’ she signed and pulled Alden out of the bed. He smiled and let her lead him to the bathroom.

Showers together were something like a rarity, never having the time to do it or feeling a little shy about something so intimate. Which felt ridiculous, since Nix knew they’d seen each other naked plenty of times. Still, there was something about how they kissed underneath the water spray, shampooed and conditioned each other’s hair, that felt so close it made her feel nervous in a good way.

Shower sex was less common than normal showers together. After slipping once or twice, the two decided not to bother with it. Neither of them wanted to go to Enid with a concussion from trying to have sex in a small cubicle. Nix didn’t complain if Alden’s hand wandered downwards, gasped into the wet skin of his shoulder, legs almost like jelly as she held onto him with shaking fingers.

They still managed to run a little over and were quick to get dressed and make Adam moderately presentable. They were on holiday, something they’d never expected to have. They could be a little late to things.

Connie and the others didn’t mind that they were a little late, though Connie told Alden she had her eye on him. Adam walked between the two, holding their hands, babbling away at Magna and Yumiko. Nix was carrying a backpack full of spare stuff clothes, a few diapers and some toys for Adam, plus a few snacks. She’d learned to always be prepared when it came to Adam.

‘People are growing and learning. Ezekiel’s taken up leadership as the Governor of the Commonwealth, and he’s a good addition,’ Connie was telling them as they walked through the streets. ‘He only agreed it Mercer would become Lieutenant Governor, and he accepted. It’s a better look on him,’

They made it to the town square, where there were stalls. It reminded Nix of Jones Springs a little, their meat and food markets, where they’d all trade. But this one was better, happier in a sense. They moved around the different stalls, and Yumiko bought some candy for them. Magna smiled at her girlfriend, accepting the candy. Adam reached for some, and Yumiko tried to give him some before giving up and picking him up.

‘How’s the paper?’ Nix asked. Connie was now one of the top journalists for the Commonwealth Tribune. Kelly was her interpreter, going everywhere with her sister.

‘It’s good. Keeping people in line, and giving the public the truth. It’s what I do best.’ Connie smiled at her. Her eyes went over the necklace, where it was visible on Nix’s chest and her smile widened. ‘I’m happy for you,’

‘Thanks,’

They made it to a large space. There were some fancy blue walls, a fountain, and a set of circular steps to a pit where people were sitting and lazing around. Their group came to a stop, and Nix set the bag down as she sat down with her friends. Adam pushed his way into her lap, going to the bag. He pulled out a train and started playing, running it up and down Nix’s thighs. She rolled her eyes but let him be.

They talked about their lives and how the different communities were doing. It was nice to be around them, back with Nix’s family. They were spread apart, and at first, Nix hadn’t liked it. Maybe it was because of Pamela and how Hornsby introduced himself and the Commonwealth to them. The Commonwealth was better now, with everything evened out amongst the people. There were still a few issues here and there, but Ezekiel and Mercer were always ready to talk it out and solve it.

‘At least Maggie’s open to being in talks with the Commonwealth now,’ Yumiko signed after they laid out a picnic. ‘I haven’t heard from Oceanside,’

“Slow rebuild,” Alden told her. “Hornsby fucked them over,” he said, continuing to speak but Nix couldn’t catch it. She turned her attention onto Kelly and Connie, a hand on Adam’s back as he moved back and forth between her legs.

‘He’s a bundle of energy isn’t he?’ Kelly asked, eyeing Adam warily. ‘How do you and Alden have any time to spare?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Takes a village,’

Adam stopped and held the train out to Connie. ‘For you,’ he signed to her, and Connie beamed at him, accepting it. ‘Mama food,’

She looked into the bag and pulled out some carrot sticks for him that she’d cut up. He grabbed them from her and settled against her stomach.

‘You spoil him,’ Connie told her.

Nix shrugged a shoulder, not minding in the least. After everything they’d been through, the kid deserved to be spoiled. He’d not exactly had a great start, but she and Alden were trying their best by him.

Connie took pictures of everyone, writing in her notepad for a new piece for the paper. Kelly helped, pointing out little bits that Connie photographed and wrote about. It was weird but also nice to see her in her element. Seeing people having jobs – and enjoying them – was an odd experience. She could remember the old world, how people hated their livelihood, how her dad struggled to make ends meet. Things were different now. People enjoyed their jobs in the Commonwealth, and they were happier. Though they ran their communities differently, people enjoyed being alive. They weren’t just surviving for the sake of it.

Seeing so many people in the Commonwealth was weird too. There were just so many. Fifty thousand felt like a million after getting used to their small communities. Still, Nix wasn’t bothered much about the Commonwealth – she liked their small communities and that was where her home was.

Nix turned twenty-five a few months ago. Every single birthday she had was surprised she’d lived another year. Maybe it was time to stop being surprised like that. She was a survivor, and she’d survived everything so that she could get a chance to live – with her friends and family. She’d not let herself believe she could ever have much of a future, only ever thinking of a few days ahead at a time, even then sometimes barely thinking about tomorrow. But now they all could. It was terrifying, exciting but terrifying.

Adam gave her the carrots back, and she put them away. Nix watched as Adam climbed over her legs to go and sit on Alden’s. He put his arm around the boy, prosthetic holding him in place. Adam had gotten into the habit of trying to chew it, much to their chagrin. Alden was already absently pushing Adam’s face away from the chewy prosthetic as he continued to talk to Magna and Yumiko. They were watching with amusement.

Sometimes the simple scene in front of Nix had her almost winded. This was something they could only ever dream about. Now it was a reality. They’d come so far and lost so many people. But they were alive, living their lives, and thriving. It was jarring, sometimes. They’d gotten so used to surviving, fighting to see the next day, so seeing something so simple as a group of friends hanging around in a public space, it felt alien. She’d never get used to it, and part of Nix was thankful for that. There was always going to be something in the back of her mind waiting for the other shoe to drop; another threat at their doorstep, trying to take what they’d made.

Now, it felt like even the biggest threat couldn’t take what they had. Their communities were bonded, they were taking back the world from the dead. Maybe Nix would get to see a world without walkers, where walls wouldn’t be needed. Maybe. It was exciting to think of things like that, even if it left her scared in a new, good way.

 


 

 

Physiotherapy left Alden exhausted after every single session. Enid did her best, as did the few doctors who’d come from the Commonwealth to live in Hilltop and Alexandria. It was a tiring thing, and Alden was often going straight to bed after his sessions. He’d come out a few hours later, looking exhausted, rubbing at his stump, trying to put a smile on his face for Adam.

‘You’re doing really well,’ Nix told him after another gruelling session. His hair was a mess, and there were dark bags under his eyes. He’d been trying so hard, and sometimes he pushed himself too far too soon. Enid didn’t hold him to any high standards, but Alden had high standards for himself.

Alden nodded, but he stared at his food, not even bothering to pick at it. Nix didn’t know what to do and hated how useless she felt. There was only so much comforting words could do. She’d tried to help him as much as she could, and somehow it felt like it was never enough. She knew she was good, was enough. Alden lost a limb and needed time to mourn that and adjust to his new life. They’d get through this; she knew they would. It just took time, and now they had ample amounts of it.

‘Eat or I’ll make you eat,’ she signed instead, having tapped on the table to get Alden to look at her.

“I know. I’m just tired and … not in the mood.” He heaved a sigh, then rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

Nix nodded, pressing her lips together a little. ‘Save it for later?’

Alden nodded and pushed the plate away. He got up and went into the bedroom.

‘Mama,’ Adam signed, hands slapping the table so he could get her attention. ‘Dad’s sad.’

‘I know,’ she told him. ‘He’s sad about his arm,’ she signed, hand going over her left arm, forearm to fingertips.

Adam pouted a little, then raised his arms. Nix got up and pulled him up and out of the highchair. She set him down and he wandered into their small living room, where his array of toys was scattered around. Nix stored Alden’s plate in their minifridge that’d been sent over from the Commonwealth. She’d probably be able to get him to eat it later, once Adam was asleep. She eyed the fresh bread on the counter that Enid dropped by. Nix had some serious cravings for bread recently, which Adam copied because he was a little shit like that. She also had a sweet tooth for pears, which the Commonwealth sent over in monthly batches. She could handle her weird food desires later on.

She looked into the bedroom. Alden was sitting on the edge of the bed, fingers going over his stump. She went inside and kneeled in front of Alden. He let her hands go over his, fingers gentle over his limb.

“I miss using the smithy,” Alden said. “Miss being useful. Enid won’t let me go until she’s sure I’m OK. Nerve endings aren’t great,”

‘You’ll get there – you’re putting too much on yourself too soon. There are other things you can do before you get back to work like that. Architecture and all that,’

“Architecture?”

‘You know what I mean – blueprints for building, helping direct where new builds go, help design them. Make orders for things that need building, and oversee the building. You’re the construction foreman. You’re more than just a blacksmith.’

“Yeah. Just … some days are harder,” he said, then wiped at his face. “I’ll be alright.”

Nix gestured at him. ‘I mean, you’re mostly all right now,’

Alden stared at her for a moment. “How long have you had that up your sleeve?” he asked, a hint of a smile on his face.

‘Am I wrong?’ she asked, and Alden’s smile widened. She smiled up at him and let him put his hand on her face. She got back up, stretching a little. ‘I could really make a joke about how I was on my knees in front of you, and it didn’t end with giving you a blowjob,’

“You’re awful,” he said, getting to his feet too. They smiled at each other before they kissed. Nix hugged him tightly, and they swayed for a moment before they went back out into the main area. Adam perked up at the sight of them, hands up in the air. Alden put a smile on his face and picked him up, blowing a raspberry on his cheek.

They let Adam run around, babble at them and show them his toys. They entertained him and tried to tire him out so that he’d go to bed on time. He’d started to refuse to go to bed and screamed bloody murder if he didn’t get his way.

‘My turn, right?’ Nix asked, and Alden nodded, a sympathetic look on his face. She pulled Adam into her arms and tipped him upside down, then went over to his small bedroom and put him on the bed. He laughed and smiled at her as she knelt down in front of his bed.

“Mama,” he said, hand moving over the sign absently. “Not tired,”

‘We are,’ she told him, then exaggerated a yawn. ‘If we’re tired, so are you,’

Adam frowned at her, then yawned and rubbed his eyes. ‘I’m not.’

Nix smiled at him, and gently pushed him down until he was lying down. She tucked him in and ran her fingers through his hair. He was so blond it was ridiculous. He stared at her, bright blue eyes that refused to shut. She moved her hand and ran her finger down his nose gently. The motion seemed to work, and his eyes slowly shut. Nix didn’t stop until she was certain he was asleep. He could wake at the simplest thing when he first dozed off, and he had a bad habit of being good at faking sleep.

He'd woken them up in the middle of the night enough times for them to know he could be a light sleeper and easy to stay energised.

Adam turned around in his sleep, small hands catching Nix’s. She pressed her lips together, feeling overly fond, and she crossed her legs and got comfortable. He had an iron grip on her, and she didn’t want to pull away and wake him up. He’d start screaming and crying if she did.

Nix wondered what everyone else in Hilltop was doing – most of them had to be retiring for the night, with a few guards up on the walls. She didn’t doubt that Maggie was still awake, going over plans with Jesus in her office. They had big plans and plenty of time to refine and perfect them. Enid was taking a break from the infirmary and was probably out cold in bed with Sophia. It was nice to think about everyone and what they could be doing, a small domestic thing.

After a while, Nix gave up and crawled into the bed with Adam. He curled up into her chest and she sighed a little before she got comfortable. The damn kid had her wrapped around his little fingers and he knew it. She brushed her fingers through his hair, thinking about so many things. They’d come so far and had the privilege to feel safe and sound, to sleep with her child in her arms, unbothered by the world.

Nix slept through the night and only woke when Adam poked her in the face, asking for food. She smiled at him tiredly, wishing that he’d let her sleep in. There was no rest for her and Alden when Adam was awake and ready for the day. She pushed his hand away from her face and pulled him into a hug. She could feel him giggling into her chest, arms and legs flailing before she let him go.

‘Come on,’ she signed, sitting up. She regretted sleeping in Adam’s bed, mostly because her back was hurting. She knew she’d end up paying for it.

Nix had a busy day ahead of her. She was going to help lead the hunting party with Sophia. Some of the new recruits were from the Commonwealth, and they’d not dealt with the dead in years. It meant that they were going to have to train them how to handle the dead – now that everyone was on high alert about the variants. Mercer also sent a trooper to help them, Douglas, who used to work at the Hilltop before he received training at the Commonwealth.

‘Have fun,’ Alden told her. He was going to help Maggie with rebuilds and plan out where new plumbing would be fitted. Bertie was going to look after Adam for them, alongside several other toddlers.

‘You too,’ she signed, then smiled and leaned over to kiss him. ‘I don’t know when I’ll be back,’

He shrugged a shoulder, hand going to muss up Adam’s hair. “I’ll still be waiting for you,”

‘Me too!’ Adam signed excitedly. Nix smiled then leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head.

‘Behave for your dad, yeah?’

Adam nodded. Nix shared a look with Alden. They both knew that Adam would raise a little hell.

 


 

 

The dead were easy to deal with. Everyone else in the hunting group was on edge, waiting for a variant walker to come across them. It annoyed Nix to no end. How often did they come across the variant walkers? They’d been few and far between to deal with. The walkers were the same as they had been before, still a threat but manageable. All they had to do now was pay a little bit more attention to the dead, to check if they held items, to watch if they tried to climb or open doors.

It was like trying to spot a Whisperer, something that Nix and the others had some moderate experience in. She, Sophia and the trooper, Douglas, took lead on the situation, informing the newcomers what to do.

‘We want the animals alive. We’re going to keep them as farm animals,’ Nix told them, and Sophia translated. There were a few curious looks thrown in her direction. That would never end, the curious looks, the surprise at the fact she was deaf. How Connie managed to go about her life in the Commonwealth being a top reporter was beyond her.

‘Be humane. Don’t torture the animal.’

Hunting in a group was always jarring. Nix had been so used to hunting on her own – with maybe a handful of people with her – but this, with over ten people there. It was so different. Sophia seemed to notice the annoyance steadily building in Nix. The people with them had no idea how to walk in the forest quietly. She could see the way they’d step on twigs and branches, and stumble over small rocks. Several times Sophia turned back to tell them to be quiet.

More than once, Nix saw an animal get spooked by the noise of their group. She could only watch the animal scarper away.

‘New plan. We split into smaller groups of two,’ Nix signed, and when Sophia translated, the newcomers from the Commonwealth made protests. ‘You’re all too loud and scaring away the animals. We’ll be out here for weeks if we don’t change things up.’

Nix paired people off, a newbie with someone who had a bit of experience hunting and tracking. She made Sophia go with the one who kept making a lot of noise. Sophia didn’t look impressed, and Nix just smiled back at her. It left Nix with someone who blatantly didn’t understand sign language but was very enthusiastic about hunting.

They spent several hours walking, sometimes in a half-crouch, watching and waiting. Nix pointed out tracks for some pigs, and the man with her nodded, eager-eyed. It was like he was trying to memorise the prints in the dirt. Nix led the way, following the tracks. They weren’t fresh but weren’t too old either. If they picked up the pace, they’d probably catch up to them.

Nix was aware of the sun lowering in the sky. They were supposed to meet the rest of the hunting party by one of the waystations they’d made. There were a few people already at the station, in trucks and cars, for the people and any animals they managed to snag. They had to find the pigs soon or give up for the day and return to the others empty-handed. Nix wasn’t one to return empty-handed.

On they went, following the tracks and dealing with the dead. Nix dealt with the walkers more than the man, who went pale at any given moment he heard the snarls or saw the decayed faces. When they got back, Nix would probably have to put a word in about his reaction to the dead. He wouldn’t go near them, hands shaking when he held his knives. He’d need more training to handle the dead, and more training after that for regular trips with the hunting party.

There was maybe half an hour of sunlight left before Nix found the pigs. Two adult pigs were dead, walkers gnawing on their innards. Her bow was up, and the arrows shot through the air before the dead had a chance to notice her. Two piglets were jumping around the adult pigs, probably squealing up a storm. She went over to them and picked one up, turning to look at the man. Apprehensive, he moved over. She shoved the piglet into his arms and turned and got the other one before it could run away.

‘Come on,’ she signed. He nodded and followed after Nix as she led the way to the waystation. They made it back an hour or so after the sun had gone down. It didn’t worry Nix, but she knew the man with her was on edge. She ignored his unease for the most part, shooting him a look every so often to try and get him to calm down. He was going to put himself into a frenzy if he wasn’t careful.

Sophia waved at her once she spotted her. Nix and the man brought the piglets over, and Dianne helped put the piglets away safely before they ventured back to the Hilltop. Nix sat with Sophia as they went back to the Hilltop. When they got back, they were going to have to write a review, of all things. It’d been Mercer’s idea; see who was good at hunting and how they fared. Nix had to take everyone’s names, putting names to faces so she knew who she was being critical of.

By the time they got to the Hilltop, the night was in full swing, and several people had already retired to their cabins or Barrington for the night. Alden was taking Adam on a walk in the distance, and a few other haggard parents were doing the same for their hellion toddlers and young children.

Maggie greeted them and helped them put the piglets away into the pen that Jesus had rigged up for them. One of the new farmers from Oceanside came and helped out, getting the piglets comfortable. A few others had gathered some more piglets, and someone had managed to kill a deer.

‘He forgot we’re supposed to gather animals, not kill them.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder at Sophia, who’d already scrawled the man’s name in her diary, along with the words can’t follow rules prick. ‘People are stupid, and there’s only so much training before we have to cross them off as a lost hope.’

Sophia nodded, not quite smiling. ‘So what’s going to happen when we don’t need to go out hunting anymore? That’s your selling point.’

‘I am a woman of many talents, Sophia,’ she signed. ‘Though I’m the best at hunting, I’m also pretty good with a needle and thread. Oh.’ Nix frowned. ‘That’s just sad. I don’t want to be a seamstress.’

Sophia laughed at her, then clapped her on the shoulder. “Sucks to be you, Seamstress Dixon.”

‘Dixon-Abrams,’ Nix corrected, and the two shared a smile.

The two went into Barrington, though not before Adam threw himself at Nix, who caught him with ease and rested him on her hip. They went into Maggie’s office, writing out their reviews, the pros and cons, and the mistakes people made. A few people weren’t going to go out on any more group hunts until further training and would probably go over to the Commonwealth to receive the training from Mercer’s people. It was either that or have Nix, Sophia, Jesus and Dianne train them. Some people were a bit weird about Nix being deaf, and some were weird about Jesus because they found out he was gay.

‘They need more experience with the walkers,’ Nix told Maggie. She was sitting across from her at her desk, and there was a bowl of fruit that Nix kept dipping into. Sophia was sitting beside Nix with her feet kicked up onto the desk. Maggie had long since given up trying to push her feet back onto the floor. Adam was running around behind them, getting rid of his toddler energy. He was going to get cranky soon. ‘They’re terrified,’

‘They think every walker can grab shit or climb,’ Sophia put in. ‘We know that the variants are out there, but we know they’re not every single walker out there.’

Nix nodded a little. ‘I think they need to be educated on the dead. What the standards are, how little a percentage of the variants are compared to regular walkers,’

Sophia frowned a little. ‘We know that there are walkers, roamers, biters and lurkers. Those are the more common … variants. But I always thought that was to do with how decayed they were, or how little they ate.’

Maggie shrugged a shoulder, but she was thinking about it, contemplating. ‘I see where you’re coming from,’ she signed, speaking along. She was getting better at signing, no longer rusty or relying on someone else for translation. Though sometimes her ASL was a little slow. ‘We can organise a presentation with Mercer, give them the outlines of the different walkers there are.’

Maggie stopped when Nix took another apple. ‘Are you OK?’

‘What?’

‘You’re eating – all the time,’ Sophia pointed out.

Nix frowned at her. ‘Are you mad I’m eating fruit? Do you want this?’ she asked, holding the half-eaten apple out to Sophia. She shook her head and pushed the apple back to Nix.

‘There’s something wrong with you.’ Sophia told her, and Nix kicked her feet off the desk.

‘You’re a bitch,’ she signed, and Sophia only grinned in response.

Chapter 46: New Life

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Their lives had changed, and it wasn’t something Nix ever thought would happen. There were things brought in from their old world that made their world better. It was unbelievable. Though there were times when Nix thought that it was all bullshit, and everything was going to break, and it never did. They had a solid foundation, and the leaders and councils were working together and building their homes and world into something better.

In this new world, Nix figured she was going to fucking kill Sophia. As much as she loved her friend and cared about her, she was driving her insane. They worked together pretty well, but ever since that comment about her eating all the time, Sophia was always watching her. It didn’t stop Nix from eating like she did; it was about time they had enough food that they could overeat every now and then. But Nix thought that Sophia was overreacting and being a nuisance. So what if she ate more than before? She’d never had the chance to eat the right amount daily, so now that she could, she didn’t expect her friend to judge her.

Not that she did, really. She’d eye her with something in her eyes, look at her stomach and pretend that she didn’t. She didn’t comment anymore, but there was a hint of concern on her face, the lining around her eyes. Nix wasn’t bothered, had grown used to Sophia’s antics and concern, as misplaced as it could be at times.

Sophia prodded Nix’s stomach for the fifth time in two minutes. Sophia was getting on Nix’s nerves. They were supposed to be filing reports – filing reports! – for Maggie for the latest hunting group success, and the latest group run to the mall. The mall runs were mostly to let the new people venture out into the world in a closed environment away from the communities where the threat was real but manageable. They’d gone through some of the stores in the mall too, to see if they had anything of use; clothes and furniture in packs and many other items.

The reports were going to end up being faxed over to Mercer – not that Nix really cared or knew the details about how the fax machines worked and how they got them to work. But the reports were important, detailing everyone’s strong and weak points. Mercer trusted their insight and their opinions on the people that they were training. Nix appreciated that Mercer trusted them despite their differences and that he didn’t think of her any less because she was deaf.

‘What the fuck are you doing? I’m going to cut you,’ Nix threatened, looking over at Sophia, pointing her pen at her. She shrugged at her.

‘You just … you’re a little chunky.’

Nix stared at her for a minute, taken off guard. ‘Chunky?’ she repeated. Sophia blushed a little.

‘Thick?’ Sophia suggested. ‘Your ass looks better anyway.’

Nix rolled her eyes a little. ‘Why yes, I’m putting on weight because we finally have food and can eat in a healthy manner instead of starving.’ She rolled her eyes and turned back to the report. She paused writing when Sophia pushed her hand in her space, fingers splayed over her stomach. Nix gave up on the report and leaned back. She glared at Sophia, who still hadn’t taken her hand from her stomach. It was a weird feeling, a bizarre feeling. She turned her attention to her stomach and thought about prodding it herself.

‘Oh,’ she signed. Now that she was looking down, she noticed that her stomach was … chunky. Bigger than she expected it to be now that she could see it. She’d never really paid attention to it before, never felt the need and never felt insecure about her body. She wasn’t going to start being insecure about it now ‘What the fuck?’ she asked, hands going to her stomach. She frowned as she touched it, and batted Sophia’s hand away. ‘What’s wrong with me?’

She looked over to Sophia, who had her lips pressed together in a thin line. Her eyebrows were raised, and she had a knowing look in her eye. Nix hated it when Sophia did stuff like that; acting like she knew Nix better than she knew herself. Though, with everything going on, and her life being hectic, Nix had to give Sophia the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes she did know Nix better than she did. It was the same the other way around too. Maybe it was because they knew each other’s tells or were just good friends. She still hated Sophia for having that look on her face.

‘You puked at the mall,’ she reminded Nix. ‘Arnie opened that walker-rotted retail store and you puked your guts up.’

The smell had been disgusting, and it made Nix throw up The walkers had all rotted into some gross gunky flesh and blood, and they couldn’t even move from where their rotted skin had stuck to the linoleum floor and tiled walls. She could remember the last time the smell of the walkers made her puke. Oh god. Oh fuck.

Sophia grinned at her as the realisation crept over Nix’s face.

‘No,’ she signed, shaking her head. ‘I’m not.’ It couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t. But the more Nix thought about it, the more it made sense.

‘You could be,’ Sophia signed, smile getting wider and wider. ‘You were last time. I know you and Alden have been getting busy a lot more recently.’

Nix felt the heat rush to her face. Why did Sophia have to say it like that? She was awful, and she knew it. Nix put her face in her hands, so suddenly hyperaware of her entire body. She needed a minute to compose herself. They’d been careful like they always were. Though it wasn’t like there were people making new condoms, and they were in short supply.

‘Don’t say a fucking word,’ Nix signed before she turned back to her report. She needed to finish it first, and then she could panic and ask Enid for help later. Sophia had the decency to look a little bit bad for her. She pulled her into a brief hug, and then they went back to their reports. The words were struggling to make their way onto the page.

What the hell was she going to do? It wasn’t like she had any experience with babies. She only knew how to handle toddlers, and even then she felt pretty inexperienced at times. Did she even want another child? Did Alden? What if they were deaf like her? What if it ended up with some other problem? There were so many questions flooding her mind, and she had a difficult time trying to keep herself composed. Her hands shook and she had to stop several times to make it stop. Fuck.

But things were good, weren’t they? The Hilltop was thriving, back to its former glory and more. Oceanside and Alexandria were safe to travel to, and Eugene was the lead on several projects for the trains and communications. Hell, if Nix wanted to keep it, she could have a baby in a hospital. A goddamn hospital. She’d be safe, monitored, and if anything went wrong, there’d be so many people on hand to make sure she and the baby would live.

She was going to cry. Why did this feel so overwhelming? It shouldn’t be, she had to just be working herself up into a state.

She pushed her mostly finished report to Sophia and got up from their bench and walked away, trying to keep from bursting into tears. She could feel the heat behind her eyes and her breathing felt a little difficult. Nix went behind Barrington and sat down on one of the benches. She put her head between her knees, hands wrung together tightly. God, why was she reacting like this? It made her feel so weird and uncomfortable.

There was a part of her that was scared that she’d miscarry again if she really was pregnant. She was going to be twenty-six in a few months’ time. She already had Adam, and Alden was still having bad days about his arm, and how was he supposed to care for a newborn when he couldn’t do things with Adam? Shit. Sophia knew, or at least put the idea in Nix’s mind. Her hands moved to her stomach, and she felt a little bit sick. Jesus Christ, what the hell was she going to do?

There was the faint urge to chain smoke, but she knew Alden, and more importantly Sophia, would kill her for doing that if she really was pregnant. So instead she sat and mulled on her thoughts, hoping that Sophia finished her report for her. She kept rubbing at her stomach unconsciously, and it annoyed her to no end. She didn’t even know if she was pregnant yet. A selfish part of her didn’t want to go to Enid to ask her for an ultrasound, to ask her to check. If she didn’t, then maybe she wasn’t pregnant. It was the risk of knowing that terrified her. If she didn’t get checked, then she wouldn’t know. But Sophia would bug her about it, and then Alden would notice, and then all of their friends would notice. Then she’d have to go and get checked to confirm or deny it for everyone who’d know, which would be the entirety of Hilltop. And if she wasn’t, then she felt like she was overreacting, and if she was … then she’d have a decision on her hands that she wasn’t sure she wanted to make.

Fuck. Well, she either was or wasn’t. No big deal. If she was, then it explained the weird bread and fruit cravings she’d had recently, and the slight swell to her stomach that Sophia had so kindly pointed out.

‘Fucking cravings,’ she signed to herself. That should’ve been a big flag for her to notice. She’d just been hungry, hell when Hazel was with her, the two were always craving oranges, she’d just brushed these new cravings off as something similar.

Steeling herself, Nix got to her feet and snuck to the infirmary. Naturally, because the universe now hated Nix, Enid wasn’t there. Alex was, and Nix didn’t know him well enough to ask, and she didn’t want him to check for her. She trusted Enid more. It wasn’t because he was a man, as she knew he was talented in the field. It was because Enid had checked before, and they had a history.

‘You alright?’ he asked. ‘Need stitches or medication?’ Alex glanced over her for anything he could see wrong with her.

‘I need Enid.’

Alex frowned at her before he nodded. ‘Went on a break. You can wait.’

Nix went and sat in the office, feeling very nervous. She had to try and not chew on her thumbnail, but when she wasn’t, she was holding her stomach. God, she was a mess. Why was this screwing with her so much? After dealing with everything, the idea of having a baby didn’t have to be so scary. She supposed it was because it would bring on new challenges, would change hers and Alden’s lives, and Adam’s too. Maybe a subconscious part of her was terrified of the impending – feeling a thing coming alive inside of her like something out of Alien, and having to push it out of her body whilst it’d feel close to tearing her body in two. That, or something going wrong and needing an emergency caesarean, and maybe no-one around to help. Naturally, that led to the distorted images of how Judith’s birth came to be, and Nix felt a little sick at the idea.

At long last, Enid came through to her office, a confused look on her face.

‘I hate your wife,’ Nix signed, and Enid laughed, pushing her hair out of her face as she shut the office door behind her.

‘What’s she done now?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder, but she felt very close to crying. ‘Just the usual teasing and pointing out I might be pregnant.’

It took Enid a moment to register the words in her brain. Nix saw the way she shifted into doctor mode. ‘Stand up.’ Nix did and looked down at her stomach. She pulled her t-shirt back and nearly threw up. Yeah, there was something growing there. Maybe it was a cyst. Enid offered a gentle smile. ‘I can check. Don’t – you don’t have to be scared.’

‘I don’t know if I want to dare to want it, that’s the thing,’ she admitted. ‘We didn’t try and lost the last one, and we already have Adam. I’m paranoid that if I do end up wanting it, I’ll lose it anyway.’ Among other things that she was paranoid about; being in the middle of her pregnancy and it dying – would that baby turn into a walker? Didn’t the mother’s body reabsorb the baby, or did she have to carry it to term? So many worrying thoughts flooded her. Nix forced herself to take a breath and get a handle on things before she sent herself into an anxiety attack.

‘It’s not your fault you lost the first one. You were beaten and downright tortured. It’s OK to not be sure now. If you don’t want it, we can deal with it. If you do, then you can keep it. It’s not like you were actively trying for a kid, so it’s not the end of the world, is it?’

Nix smiled, huffing a wet laugh. ‘Yeah, OK. I see your point.’ She wiped at her eyes. ‘Alden’s missing an arm, I think that’s the thing that’s getting to me the most. I keep thinking about how he struggles with Adam sometimes, so handling a newborn baby? It’s going to be different and so damn hard on him.’

Enid smiled at her, hands on Nix’s shoulders before she pulled her into a hug. Nix sighed a little, relaxing into the hug. Enid was a good friend and understood her on a different level. ‘Let’s take it one step at a time, yeah?’

Nix nodded.

Enid led her to a curtained-off area, avoiding the others seeing them. She felt a strong urge of déjà vu, and she wondered how different things would be this time around. At least Adam wasn’t there, and Nix wasn’t covered in cuts and bruises. The jelly was cold on her stomach, and Nix wanted to shut her eyes and let it all pass over her. But she couldn’t. She turned her attention onto Enid, jaw clenched, hands fisted into her t-shirt. She thought she was going to throw up.

Her eyes went to the screen, and there was no mistaking what she saw.

A little blob on-screen with tiny limbs cemented the fact that Nix was pregnant.

What the hell. This was real.

Noticing Nix’s internal panic, Enid was quick to finish the exam, wiping the jelly from her stomach and let her sit there. Enid offered a hand and didn’t complain when Nix held it tightly. They didn’t say anything for a long while, and Nix was so scared and excited all in one. Everything was safe, they were expanding, and people were expanding their families. Hell, Nix was sure Jerry and Nabila were trying for another. So why couldn’t she and Alden have another child?

It was just … she wanted this, but what if Alden didn’t? Or what if something went wrong? The fear of the unknown was stopping her from hoping things would turn out OK.

‘Give me a few days,’ Nix signed, feeling at a loss as to what to do. She had to tell Alden, but she had to get her head around it first. Then she could talk to Alden about it.

 


 

 

Nix kicked her shoes off and put her bow up out of Adam’s reach. Her quiver hung by the door on the coat hooks by the front door that Alden installed. She’d spent the last two days thinking about the fact she was pregnant, and how she was more excited for it than she initially anticipated. The shock had been staggering, and her fear even more so. But she had a good handle on it now, and she didn’t feel like bursting into tears every time she thought about it.

‘Good day?’ Alden asked. He’d just put Adam in his highchair for supper, and the kid looked very excited over the idea of food – and throwing it everywhere, much to their dismay. He’d seen another kid throw a tantrum, which inspired him to do the same whenever he had food he wasn’t particularly excited about.

‘I think so.’ She sat beside him. She took Adam’s wrist and turned his hand down before he could throw the cornflakes everywhere. He giggled at her, and she turned her attention back onto Alden. She gave him a shy smile, letting go of Adam’s hand. ‘I’m pregnant.’

It took a moment for Alden to realise what she’d told him. She thought that the surprise and shock on his face was a little bit amusing. “Sorry what?” he asked, signing along. ‘What?’

Nix leaned back in her chair, nodding. ‘Yeah. Pregnant. Do you want me to, uh, spell it?’

‘No, no. Just … you’re pregnant?’

Nix nodded again, a little concerned. ‘You OK?’

Alden nodded, though looked a little pale. “What the fuck,” he said, shock still in his features.

Adam laughed at them. “What the fuck!” he copied, and both adults grimaced.

‘Don’t say that,’ Nix signed as Alden tiredly said it too. She reached out and put a hand on Alden’s shoulder. ‘Do I need to get Enid?’

“No. It’s just – I. You don’t look that happy,” he admitted.

‘Oh.’ Nix laughed a little, a smile stretching over her face. She wasn’t expecting that. ‘I am. I just wasn’t sure if you would be. It took me a little bit to stop panicking over it.’ He smiled and leaned over and kissed her. ‘Are you happy about this?’

“Of course. I mean, I’m shit scared, and-and Adam’s a pain in the ass, but – this. We get to have this. I know we almost did, before. But now it’s real, and we’re safe,” Alden said, a fond look on his face. “And I’m kinda scared for your health – pregnancy’s a big deal, and last time didn’t exactly end well, did it?”

Nix shrugged a shoulder, lips pressed together. ‘Well, I’ve not been beaten to shit this time around, and Enid told me I’m further along than last time. I want this, even if it’s absolutely terrifying and scares the life out of me.’ She looked away for a moment. ‘I am going to scream bloody murder. I’m going to be ripped to shreds.’ She looked to Alden, and the two huffed quiet laughs together.

‘We’ve got this,’ Alden signed. ‘Though I know you’re going to be bored shitless when you can’t go out and hunt.’

Nix made a noise in the back of her throat. ‘I know. I already hate doing those stupid reports, imagine what I’m going to be like when I can barely walk to the toilet.’ She slouched a little, but there was a shy smile on her face as she looked back at Alden. ‘My dad is going to kill you,’

‘I was hoping for mild torture,’ he joked and reached out for Nix’s hand. She held onto his, squeezing gently. Adam ruined the moment by knocking his cup over, spilling juice everywhere. Nix should’ve seen that shit coming.

They cleaned up the mess, let Adam out of the highchair once he’d eaten all his food, and he went into his room to play with the trucks and dolls he’d been gifted. Nix and Alden left him be as they sat on the couch, reading a book together, The Hobbit. She held the book for them as Alden rested his lone hand on her stomach, fingers moving delicately. Adam joined them after an hour and a half, and Nix pulled him up so he could rest between them comfortably. Alden read out loud for him, and Nix turned her attention on the two, watching the way Alden’s mouth moved over the words and Adam’s intrigue before he started to slip into sleep, trying so hard to stay awake. Alden continued to read aloud for a while before he was sure Adam was asleep and would be for the rest of the night.

Things were nice. Domestic. Nix sometimes wondered how they’d managed to get this far. They’d lost so many people along the way, and it felt selfish to say that it was worth it. She missed Luke so much, and she cried over losing him often. No-one could ever truly understand the bond that’d been forged between them. He’d been there for her, and it’d only been right that she’d be there for him in the end, as heartbreaking as it’d been. She missed his smile, the joyful look in his eyes. She missed his weird fetish for instruments and the way he always had a piano melody in the back of his mind he wanted to show her.

When the two finally retired for the night, with Adam tucked away in bed, they held onto each other. Nix let Alden put his hand on her stomach, fingers careful and light on her skin.

‘If we have a boy, we should name him Luke,’ Alden told her after a while. The candle was flickering behind him, just enough light to illuminate his hand, his signs. ‘Hazel if it’s a girl.’

Nix smiled at him, feeling soft and mushy, so damn glad that Alden knew her and loved her. ‘What about your brother?’

Alden shook his head. ‘I love and miss that bastard every day, but he wasn’t as good a person as I like to think he was. He’s in my memories, and that’s enough for me.’ He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “’Sides, you’re the one growing it, I think you get dibs on naming it.”

‘You have a valid point there.’ She ran her fingers over his face. ‘Sleep. Adam’s going to be super annoying tomorrow.’

“He really is,” he said, and he kissed her. They smiled at each other, quiet laughs before they got settled in.

 


 

 

Daryl came to visit Hilltop. He was with one of the many patrols that checked the perimeters of the frontier and made sure that the roads and woods were empty of the dead. He came from the Commonwealth with Connie, both of them looking pleased and happy. Nix beamed at her dad, and he hugged her tightly. She’d missed him and Connie a lot and welcomed them with warm hugs.

‘You two look happy,’ she told them, noticing the way that they were holding hands and didn’t seem to want to move too far from each other. It was nice to see them in this carefree sort of way. It was about time that they had the chance to be happy together. They’d gone through so much and almost lost each other – they deserved all the happiness they could get their hands on.

Connie offered a nervous sort of smile, looking to Daryl. ‘Later,’ he signed to her, and Nix raised an eyebrow at them but didn’t push it. They made their way through Hilltop, greeting the others, talking with Maggie. Nix left them to go and talk to one of the newcomers, Zoey Delgado, about her upcoming training with Jesus. He was currently out, in Alexandria with Rick and the others. Nix and the others had a running bet with the others that he and Aaron were having a fling and were trying to keep it on the down low. They weren’t as subtle as they thought they were.

“When do you think I can go on regular runs with the troopers?” Zoey asked. She’d been given a rundown of what to expect; Mercer or one of his subordinates would have informed her of Nix’s deafness and a few basic lessons in ASL, so that she could understand Nix. People learning ASL was something Ezekiel thought was important – mostly to make Connie’s and Nix’s jobs easier with people understanding them without a translator always being present.

‘Depends,’ Nix signed. ‘You’re doing well, but you’re overeager. Jesus will help you.’

“Overeager?” Zoey asked, frowning a little.

‘You forget your stance and rush into the fight. You’re good in practice, but when those practices go sideways, you forget the steps we’ve put in place. You just need to train a little more with Jesus, with us, and you’ll be fine. Jesus is going to be the one to sign you off, not me. We just need to make sure you won’t end up dead because of us if we sign you off too early.’

“Oh, right – yeah, no, I get it,” she said, pushing her hands through her hair. “I guess I just – I was out there for a long time before. Now everyone’s on high alert because of the variants. I know how to fight and take down the walkers.”

‘I’m not saying you don’t. I’m saying everyone’s been careful, and we don’t want to risk your life.’

Zoey smiled a little. “Yeah, alright. Super safety to keep us alive,” she said, then looked around. She perked up a little, and Nix followed her gaze. Carl was coming through the gates of Hilltop with a convoy from Alexandria, looking a lot like his father; he was tall, back straight, looking calm and in control. His eyepatch was a little worn around the edges, but he didn’t appear to feel insecure about it like he once was. Nix huffed a laugh and nudged Zoey with a grin on her face.

‘Go say hi,’ she told her. Zoey blushed a little. ‘I can introduce you if you want,’

“Stop,” she said, but she was smiling and looking nervous.

It was odd, people spoke about them in whispers, like they were heroes. The people of the Commonwealth spoke about them a lot, admiring the Grimes family, the Dixons and Maggie, and their people who’d dealt with the horde and put Pamela in her place. They’d done it to get their kids, to save their people, and now the Commonwealth people spoke about them like they were unsung heroes. Nix didn’t think they were heroes, not really. They did what they had to and didn’t back down from a fight if it came down to it.

The admirers were something new and different. Nix didn’t go to the Commonwealth all that much because the people would stop and stare at them. They’d come up to them and ask them about the world outside and the wasteland, what they thought of the frontier. Nix was glad she was deaf and could act on that; if she couldn’t hear and they didn’t know how to communicate with her, then she could get away from them with relative ease. Though with Ezekiel having people take part in ASL lessons, there was only so long she could get by before they started to understand her language.

Nix smiled and looped her arm through Zoey’s. She led her over to the convoy and shot Carl a smile when he noticed them. ‘This is Zoey Delgado. She’s from the Commonwealth and I like her, she’s a friend. Talk to her or I’ll stab you.’

Carl laughed a little, nodding his head. ‘You’re a pain in my ass, Dixon.’

‘Fuck off, Grimes,’ Nix shot back, but the two were smiling. She looked back to Zoey. ‘I’ll see you later?’ Zoey nodded and let Nix go, turning her attention to Carl. Nix left them to it and made her way into Barrington. It was cool in the large building, now that they’d had air conditioning units installed. That had been a long process that had Alden nearly tearing his hair out in frustration. But the build had been and gone, and everyone was doing better for it. The cool air let them not melt to death in the unbearable Virginian heat. Sure she’d grown up in Georgia, but there was always something about the lack of air con that sent her, and everyone else, batshit crazy. Probably heatstroke.

Maggie smiled at her when she entered the office. ‘You alright?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder and sat down at the desk. She’d been mulling it over the last few days, and she knew she needed some help. Maggie was a good person, and despite their differences, Nix trusted her and whatever advice she could give her. ‘I want to keep this information just between us. I mean, Alden knows and so does Enid. I’m pregnant, and I need your advice,’

‘Congratulations,’ Maggie signed, smiling a little. ‘What do you want to know?’

‘Everything about pregnancy. It’s terrifying me not knowing,’ she admitted. Maggie smiled a little. ‘I don’t really know much about being pregnant except I’m going to turn into a whale and not be able to see my feet, which are going to be super sore. Oh, and that the birth is going to hurt like a motherfucker.’

Maggie’s smile turned fond. ‘You’re going to have Braxton Hicks – your body preparing you for the birth. You’ll feel it kicking around, and at first it’ll feel weird, but you’ll love it because it lets you know your baby is alive and growing. You’re going to pee a lot – the baby is going to squash your bladder to hell, and you’ll probably piss yourself a lot. I did. So many times because I never made it to the toilet in time. And in the actual birth, you’ll shit yourself. I did it, every woman does it. The baby’s head hits your bowels at some point, and when you’re pushing everything down there, you don’t notice everything you’re pushing out because the baby is tearing you to pieces.’

‘Tearing me to pieces.’

‘I needed seven stitches afterwards.’ Maggie rubbed at her stomach absently. ‘I threw up, I screamed bloody murder, and I couldn’t breathe. I needed my baby, I needed that piece of Glenn with me, and now my boy is here, and I love him, and he looks just like his father.’ She reached over and put her hands over Nix’s. “You have Adam, and you’ve been doing brilliantly by him. I couldn’t raise him better myself. You’re going to feel in over your head, and you’ll be shit scared. But it’ll be worth it. You have Alden too, and everyone else – your father, Connie, and your friends. You’re not going to be alone in this, and you have everyone’s support.”

‘I know,’ Nix signed. ‘I just keep worrying that something’s going to happen. I mean we have safety and homes and communications. I got over the whole … fear of being pregnant and losing it again. I was terrified because Alden’s only got one arm, and I keep thinking that maybe that’ll make it harder.’ She shrugged a shoulder. ‘Now I’m just terrified of giving birth. And just how gross pregnancy really is.’

Maggie huffed a laugh. “I’ll get someone to look for some books for you. And I don’t want you going out on any more runs or practices. You’re creating a baby, and you’ll be thankful to be off your feet.”

Nix nodded, even though not being able to go out would annoy her. ‘I’m going to go insane.’

‘Worth it in the end.’

Nix nodded. She was going to be terrified. She was going to have to deal with so much shit over the next few months. How was she going to deal with it? She was going to grow something in her body and give birth to it. The whole thing was ridiculous. But it also excited Nix.

‘Carl came with a convoy,’ Nix signed, changing the topic because thinking about babies made her feel weird and she wasn’t sure if she was going to cry or laugh. She needed to curl up in bed and relax and make her brain mend from the wave of information Maggie gave her.

Fuck, they had to make cots. They had to find baby clothes and diapers and toys.

‘Alright. I need to talk to Carl anyway. I’ll see you later?’ Nix nodded and let Maggie go. She settled back into her chair, her brain suddenly working overtime. They needed so much stuff, and they were probably going to have to take care of it and teach it how to move and talk and communicate. God, what if it was deaf? Or worse, died mid-pregnancy like she’d thought before? Nix had never seen a dead baby, premature. It’d turn, wouldn’t it? It’d turn and would that kill her too?

She kicked at the desk and slouched a little. She would be fine. She knew she would. Her brain was fucking with her and trying to fill her with bad things. Now? They were safe, were expanding and learning to live without being afraid. There were little worries in the back of her mind, but she was going to be OK. She had Enid with her, and she’d let her know if anything was wrong with the baby and would advise her to the best of her abilities.

Christ. She was only a few weeks into this thing, and she was already this much of a mess. Nix figured she was going to drive Alden and their friends insane.

Notes:

For those who are interested, I've made a playlist for Nix's story. You can find it here

Chapter 47: Growing and Expanding

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Nix stared at her father, not entirely sure what the hell she was looking at. She looked back down to the picture he’d given her, knowing exactly what it meant, but was finding it hard to put that, and her father into the same sentence. Though her own existence proved it was possible, it was just odd for it to be happening again. She frowned a little, then looked to Connie, who was looking bright and happy. It was nice to see them both so happy, but they were also nervous, waiting for Nix to react to it. She looked back at the black and white picture, not entirely sure how to process all of the information.

‘It’s ours,’ Daryl signed a nervous twitch in his hands. ‘We weren’t – we weren’t really trying, and we know that we’re old and everything. But things happen.’ A flash of nerves crossed his face, and Nix couldn’t tell if it was because they were old, or because Nix hadn’t started jumping for joy.

Nix looked between the two of them. Her father and adoptive mother. They looked a little nervous at her lack of a reaction, and she needed to react. They were old, and this wasn’t something she thought they’d have. But they wanted it, which was what mattered the most. They’d kept it, so obviously it was something the two of them wanted.

‘I’m pregnant too,’ she signed instead. She put a hand to her mouth, hiding the smile. ‘You two are ridiculous. Sex addicts,’

Daryl waved his arm at her, an embarrassed look on his face. ‘No, no, I don’t need to know or feel your judgement. People, y’know –’

Nix cut him off. ‘Have sex. All the time.’

“Nix,” Daryl said, then put his hands over his face.

Nix grinned and looked at Connie, who was smiling brightly, hands on her stomach like she couldn’t believe she had the chance to have another baby. ‘Congratulations. Are you doing good?’

Connie nodded, batting a hand at her. ‘I’m great. How are you? You must be tired, you look it.’ Connie signed, then came and sat beside her. ‘You do look pregnant, look at that belly,’ she put her hands on Nix’s stomach, and she couldn’t stop the laugh that came from her. Connie was expressive, and her hands were a warm comfort like it made everything feel alright.

‘I am fine. Exhausted but fine. Alden keeps crying over it whenever he looks at me, and Adam’s being a dickhead.’ The two shared a smile, then glanced over at Daryl, who was still blushing. ‘Are you OK? You’re older, and getting pregnant at your age can be dangerous,’

‘I know. We’re taking all the precautions. I’ve got a midwife back in the Commonwealth who checks in on me weekly. It’s all quite a lot. Kelly’s a worrier too, but we’re all good and we’re keeping an eye out for any complications that could arise. I think Yumiko is trying for IVF with Magna, but they’re keeping it secret until they have a positive outcome.’

Nix raised her eyebrows. ‘IVF? I didn’t know that the Commonwealth could do that.’ It sounded unbelievable, like something out of a movie, a fantasy. But the Commonwealth had some medical advances kept from Before.

‘It’s crazy. I don’t know how they’re doing it, but Tomi’s been helping them out,’ Connie told her, then reached over and brushed her fingers through Nix’s hair, and she felt very fond of Connie and her gentle touches. ‘I’m proud of you,’

‘You too,’ she signed, then looked back to her father. ‘Are you done being embarrassed?’ she asked.

‘Never mention sex to me ever again.’

Nix looked at Connie, and they grinned at each other. She enjoyed embarrassing her father and getting him all flustered. But he and Connie were happy, and they were going to have their own child. God, what a sentence. She’d never even thought of something as wild as that, but now their lives had stabilised, and everything was OK, and now they could dare to dream and think of things that were once impossible.

‘I’m going to be a sister,’ she signed, the fact sudden in her head. ‘That’s just wrong. I’m not sister material – I’m too old to be a sister.’

Connie smiled at her and patted her arm. ‘And my child will be your child’s aunt or uncle. Terrifying, isn’t it?’

Nix nodded. That was just weird, how complex families could be. It was weird enough to her that she was growing a human inside of her, and now Connie was doing the same, but that tiny human was going to be Nix’s sibling. Out of all the weird things she’d had to deal with in her life and handling the end of the world, the fact she was going to have a sibling was by far the weirdest thing to happen to her.

But the two of them were happy and excited, and they deserved to have something nice. Connie lost her child, and now she had the chance to have another one, something she’d thought close to impossible. Connie was Nix’s mother in every way but blood, and she was glad to see her happy.

Nix glanced back to her father, who finally sat down, looking a little haggard. She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Are you going to give Alden a talk?’ she asked, a small smile on her face. She’d teased him enough for the day, but she was curious as to what her father thought. She loved him and appreciated what he had to say when he finally said it. She’d never really spoken about her relationship with Alden with her father, aside from a few comments here and there about being happy and content.

‘No,’ Daryl shook his head. ‘You’re capable enough that if he did need a talk, he’d already be in the ground. He’s alright,’

Nix snorted a little. It could’ve been worse. ‘That’s as good approval he’s ever going to get from you, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah.’ He reached over and grasped her arm briefly. ‘I’m glad you have someone like him,’ he signed, then flashed a grin. ‘Even though you’re my precious little baby and I want to keep you safe.’

‘You’re insufferable,’ she told him, but the two shared a smile. ‘What are you going to do after Hilltop?’ she asked the two of them.

Connie made a face, shrugging her shoulder a little. ‘We’re going to visit Alexandria and do a round trip of the frontier. Your dad’s got a job to do, and he does it well. You should come see, after.’

‘Maybe,’ she signed, not entirely sure. The frontier was expanding and growing fast, and Daryl took care of it, with the advice of the leaders of their communities. ‘Does this mean you’ll get maternal and paternity leave?’ she asked, genuinely curious. It was odd, to think that they’d get paid parental leave from their jobs and have time with their baby and their little family.

‘I will,’ Connie told her with a nod. ‘And your father’s very adamant of making sure I’m off my feet as the pregnancy goes on. Kelly is adamant about taking care of me, and as much as I love her dearly, she’s … she can be a little overbearing.’

‘She’s always going to care about you – and worry about you,’ Nix signed. She knew that Kelly always worried about her sister, more so after the whole cave incident. Kelly loved Connie so much and it was clear to see, though everyone knew that she could be very paranoid and on edge if Connie got hurt even in the slightest. Now with Connie expecting a child, Kelly was going to be like a hawk, watching her every move and making sure nothing could bump into her or hurt her or her growing baby in any way. She was going to be an amazing aunt to the child when it finally came into the world.

Nix was a little bit glad that Kelly wasn’t there with them; she was sure Kelly would go crazy if she found out that Nix was pregnant too. Maybe it was better to hide it and then surprise Kelly when the baby came.

Their conversation dwindled down and came to an end, just in time for Rick to enter and ask Daryl for his help. He left Nix and Connie, talking quickly with Rick as they departed. Nix sighed and scoffed a little when she realised she’d been rubbing at her stomach.

‘You’re going to do that a lot,’ Connie signed, a small smile on her face. ‘Is Enid going to be your midwife?’

‘I think so. She’s going to keep an eye on me, but I think closer to the birth, we’ll go to the Commonwealth for the hospital and safety.’ If things went sideways, they’d have a team of surgeons there to save Nix’s life. She knew that there were dangers in giving birth, and she wanted to be alive, wanted to see her child and hold them in her arms.

It meant going back to the place where Luke died, and that hurt. She wished he could be there with her. As much as her father was a good person and would be there, she would’ve liked Luke to be there too. He meant a lot to her, and she knew he would’ve been just as excited, enthusiastic and eager. He would’ve cried as soon as he clapped eyes on the child. Maybe even fight Daryl to be the first to hold the kid too.

‘It’ll be OK,’ Connie signed, expression going soft, eyes knowing. ‘He’s still here with us, in our hearts.’

‘Yeah,’ she signed, then had to wipe at the tears that managed to break free. ‘I just miss him.’


Nix settled down on the sterile bed, eyes following Enid’s movements. Alden was on her left, holding her hand in his, looking anxious and excited as Adam babbled to himself in Alden’s lap. Alden was looking between Nix and the screen. Enid was concentrating hard, lips pressed together as she moved the probe over her skin, looking at the black and white images on the screen.

On the screen, Nix could see the blob that was her growing baby with little limbs and a goddamn head. It made her feel giddy and excited and nervous, all rolled into one. It was still so real and terrifying. Alden squeezed her hand, probably as excited as she was. Enid moved the probe, and then everyone went still, eyes glued to the screen. There, beside the blob was another smaller blob that had limbs a torso and a head too.

“What the fuck,” Enid said, hand coming up to her mouth, chewing on her nail. Her expression changed, going anxious. She moved the probe again, eyes on the screen. Nix stared at the screen for a long moment. No-one said anything apart from Adam who was entertaining himself, oblivious to everything going on.

Nix looked to Alden, who had gone very pale, and she thought he was going to faint. He put his hand over his mouth, fingertips brushing over his beard. Nix could see the cogs working in his brain like he was trying to figure out just how they were going to handle twin babies. Nix got it, she did. They had Adam, who was a bouncy and extroverted toddler who was hell to them and was havoc on little legs. Now Nix was growing twins. There were two there on the screen, proof that there were two little things growing in her. Two pairs of lungs that would scream, two hungry mouths, and two sets of exploding diapers. They’d managed to raise Adam on what felt like a fluke, passing the early months where he’d scream and cry and shit and sleep. Now he ran around and screamed and could speak and sign and threw a fit every other time he didn’t get things his way.

Despite how terrifying the whole thing was, Nix let herself feel excited. She reached out and nudged Alden’s arm to get him to come back to his senses. Enid cleaned up the jelly and let Nix wipe herself down, sitting up a little bit. She could already see that her stomach was getting bigger. She was becoming more obvious by the day.

“You’re not going to be alone in this,” Enid said, hands moving to sign along, quick to ease his worries. “There’s everyone in Hilltop, me and Sophia, who is going to be fucking thrilled by the way. It’s going to feel like a lot, but we’re all here for you. I do have a few concerns though,” she said, turning to look at Nix. ‘You’re more at risk with twins, and that’s if one doesn’t absorb the other.’

Nix nodded, but she saw the way Enid’s face was serious, the nerves playing up in Alden’s.

Enid offered a soft look. ‘I know you’re a strong person, so I’m not going to sugar-coat it. Having twins is a dangerous thing. You could go into early labour; they could end up being premature. You’re at higher risk of high blood pressure and anaemia. There’s also a higher risk of a miscarriage. I’m more worried about them being born prematurely. We’re not fully equipped to handle a premature birth – much less with twins. I’d prefer it if you went to the Commonwealth a little earlier than what we had in mind.’

‘In case of a C-section?’ Nix asked. With the books Maggie gave Nix, she’d caught up on a few things, the dangers of pregnancy, what to generally expect, and the different ways she could give birth.

‘Yeah. There are a lot of risks, and I do not want you in any danger. You’ll have a proper midwife at the hospital, and I’ll come with you to give over all your medical details. It’s just for peace of mind. Things can go wrong in pregnancy, and if you still end up with twins and not one absorbing the other, then we … have to be careful.’

‘That’s fine,’ Nix told her, then looked back to Alden, who was looking less pale and a little green. ‘We’re gonna be fine. I’ve got this,’

‘Your confidence is astounding.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. She had to be confident because she didn’t want to feel weak and useless or pathetic. She was a Dixon, she was strong by default and confident because of how she’d managed to make it through life without getting herself killed. ‘I do have some other concerns though,’ she signed, looking back to Enid. ‘Will they be deaf?’

Enid made a face, concentrating, running the numbers in her head. ‘There are dominant and recessive genes that can be passed down, so there is a chance. Were you born deaf or hard of hearing?’

‘Hard of hearing, but hearing aids weren’t helpful. We did tests, and when I was eleven I had eighty-something percent deafness in both ears.’

Enid nodded. ‘So if we tested you now, you’d probably have a hundred percent in both ears. You’ll probably have the dominant gene, so there’s a fifty-fifty chance, thereabouts of your kids being deaf. Alden may have a gene too, dominant or recessive which can increase the chances. When they’re born we can figure it out, check their hearing levels, the whole deal. I’m pretty sure they can get hearing aids if that’s a thing you want to look into?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder, not entirely sure. She’d always hated hearing; it made her feel weird. Almost weak in a sense. She’d lived the first long years of her life not being able to hear, depending on her other senses. It’d been a rough life, and she’d lived it to her fullest. She’d always hated when her father tried to get her to wear her hearing aids.

But there weren’t things like medical debt now. Not with how Mercer and Ezekiel were running things in the Commonwealth. It was more like a free health service, and everyone was happier with that. The people in the Commonwealth were certainly happy with it.

How hard would it be to find an ENT? They had to have someone there who would know things about ears and deafness. They gave Kelly hearing aids, they had to have different types of hearing aids. Maybe if her kids were hard of hearing, they’d get the chance to hear right from the start of their lives.

She couldn’t stop them from the chance of hearing if it was there waiting for them when they were born. She’d feel selfish, and she didn’t want to be selfish like that. If her kids got the chance to hear, they could. They wouldn’t have to suffer the silence and then try and adjust to sound when the chance came. It was hard to articulate, to say it clearly. Her kids, if they turned out to be hard of hearing, would have a chance that she never had. She couldn’t take that chance from them before they could decide for themselves later on if they wanted to wear hearing aids.

‘Yeah,’ Nix signed. ‘If they have the chance to hear, then they should be able to hear.’

They shared a look before they finished up. Enid offered them a smile as they left the infirmary. They went to their cabin together, and let Adam go and play with his toys. Alden let Nix put her legs up on his lap, and he put his hand on her thigh.

“Twins,” he said, and a nervous laugh came from Nix before they shared a more nervous grin. ‘How are we going to do this?’ he asked, gesturing between them. Nix saw the way his eyes went down to her stomach, and she was aware of how much bigger she was compared to the week before. Christ, babies were fast-growing when there were two of them stuck in there.

It reminded her of Joe and Jax, the twins from so long ago. Nix struggled to remember their faces; struggled to remember the others’ faces. She could remember their names, and her heart ached for them. Joe, Jax, Brandon and Keaton, Adelaide, and Missy. God, there’d been so many of them, more than the names that immediately came to mind. Maisy and Jane, the sisters. Bernie too. There’d been, what, sixteen of them at one point?

Nix missed every single one of them.

‘I don’t know. But like Enid said, we’ve got a whole community that’ll help. Sophia will probably be ecstatic,’ she signed, feeling some sorrow for the ghosts of her past, that they weren’t there to enjoy life with them too.

‘I think she wants to be an aunt,’

‘Probably. I should tell her I’m pregnant. I don’t think I told her before,’

Alden gave her an unimpressed look. ‘How have you not told her? You’re joined at the hip.’

‘I’ve had a lot on my mind,’ she signed, nudging him with her foot. ‘I’ll tell her later today. Oh, I told my dad and Connie when they were here,’

“That’s why your dad couldn’t look at me without blushing,” he said, grinning. ‘I dread to think what he thinks our sex life is like,’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘I don’t even want to talk about sex and my dad ever again. You know Connie’s gonna have a baby too?’

‘Really?’

Nix nodded. ‘She’s not that far along, but Kelly’s paranoid and nervous. It’s like she thinks Connie’s going to stand up and the baby will fall out of her.’ She looked around and pulled a face. ‘We need to get dinner started,’

‘Do we have to?’ Alden asked, then frowned. ‘That was such a childish thing to say. I’ll do it, but I need your help cutting the potatoes,’

‘Yeah, OK,’ Nix pulled her legs away and let Alden get up.

Five minutes later, their lights flashed to indicate someone was at the door. Nix got up to answer it and was a little surprised to see Jesus there. He smiled at her and gestured a little and she moved to the side and let him in. He was holding a plain cardboard box, and he set it down on the table.

‘It’s for Sophia from you,’ he explained when he saw Nix glancing between him and the box. ‘I spoke with Alden earlier, and I believe congratulations are in order. He’s planned a dinner for the four of you. While I was out on one of the runs for the books, I found this. I thought that it’d be a nice gift from you to Sophia.’ He gestured to the box, and Nix opened the flaps of it and pulled out the cloth.

World’s Best Aunt was printed in some godawful hot pink glitter against some pale pink cloth that made up a misshapen t-shirt. It was hideous, so naturally Nix thought that Sophia was going to love it. She put it down and smiled at the man.

‘It’s good,’ she told him. ‘It’s fucking ugly, but it’s good,’

Jesus laughed and nodded. ‘I thought so. She’ll never take it off,’

Sophia was going to wear it and be proud of it until it was nothing but rags. ‘Thanks for this. It’s good timing, I was going to tell her today. The group meal’s a good idea too. I think it’s about time we did something like that,’

‘You’re welcome to get more food from the kitchens if you need more. I’ll not keep you. Sophia’s going to come around in about two hours,’ he told her.

‘That’s plenty of time. Thanks for the gift,’

Jesus was quick to depart, though Nix caught sight of Aaron waiting for him by his home. Nix shut the door, knowing just what the two men were going to get up to. She helped Alden with the rest of dinner and let Adam cling to her leg like some kind of monkey. He giggled up at her, drooling around his pacifier, little fingers digging into her pant leg. She’d had to wear more things like leggings and loose sweatpants now that she was pregnant.

She was excited about it as much as she was terrified. Sometimes it just came at her in waves, like she couldn’t quite fathom it yet. She could see the physical changes, but sometimes it just didn’t feel real. So when her babies did start kicking, it’d scare the shit out of her.

They put Adam into his highchair just as Sophia and Enid came in. Enid sent the two a knowing look before they sat down to eat together. Adam was excited to have them there in their home and babbled incessantly at both women. Alden talked about architecture and the plans that he had for the Hilltop, and the potential builds for the Oceanside that were in the talks.

Nix pulled the cardboard box out and put it on the table once they’d put their plates in the sink. ‘For you,’ she signed to Sophia and pushed it across the table.

Adam, being the little shit that he was, grabbed the box and tore it open before Sophia could put a hand on it. He pulled out the pink t-shirt and stared at it before he threw it down and turned to Nix. ‘Down please,’

‘You can’t do that,’ she told him as she picked him up, watching the way that Sophia eyed Nix’s stomach. ‘That’s for Sophia, not you.’

‘But present,’

‘Other people get presents too,’ she told him, then put him down. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he turned and signed his apologies to Sophia. She thanked him for apologising, and then Adam ran away to where he’d strewn his toys everywhere. Nix sat back down, and Alden joined her with some drinks.

Sophia accepted the drink and picked up the hideous t-shirt and stretched it out in front of her. Nix didn’t have to hear to know Sophia let out a screech. She turned the t-shirt around and held it to her chest.

“I fucking said you’re pregnant!” she shouted, mouth slack. Nix nodded, glancing at the others before she held up two fingers. Sophia stared at her for a moment, then turned to snap something at Alden.

‘Not my fault!’

‘You’re the one who can’t pull out on time,’

Nix turned her gaze to Enid, and all she could do was shrug her shoulders. ‘Give her a minute to process. She’s going to cry,’

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Sophia was holding the t-shirt to her chest and wiping at her eyes as her face turned blotchy red.

‘I mean, technically you’re already an aunt since we have Adam,’

‘But I get to watch you grow it and it’s going to cry and shit and I’m going to be its aunt,’

‘Their aunt,’ Nix corrected.

“There’s fucking two of them,” Sophia sobbed, and the others laughed at her. She eventually managed to sober up, though her smile was watery. ‘Jokes aside, I’m glad you two are happy with this. It’s a big step.’

‘It’s alright. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have had Enid check for me.’

Sophia turned to her wife. ‘You already knew?’ she demanded, and Enid smiled shyly. ‘You knew and you didn’t tell me?’

‘Patient confidentiality,’ she signed, which made everyone laugh at the outraged look on Sophia’s face as she no doubt started to rant that patient confidentiality didn’t count when it was to do with Nix, and Sophia going to become an aunt to two little babies.

Nix nudged Alden. ‘You’d think that she’s the one having the kids, not me,’ she signed, and Alden smiled, letting Nix rest her head on his shoulder, watching the two across from them argue in a mix of sign and spoken language about whether patient confidentiality counted when the two were married.

Notes:

These next few chapters have been really fighting me, but here we are with a new one. Let me know what you think about it! It's always great hearing from readers.

Chapter 48: Ever Closer

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Time was a funny thing. Sometimes it felt like only yesterday she’d lost Hazel, minutes since she lost Luke. Other times it felt like decades had passed since the two had died. There were other times when it felt like she’d been in Hilltop forever, had been with Alden since the start of time; hadn’t been separated from the original group as long as she really had been. It messed with her head sometimes, and seeing how far she’d come, all the things she’d endured, well it was weird to see it’d only happened in a short number of years.

Time was a funny thing.

Nix’s pregnancy continued on without a fuss, something she was eternally grateful for. Nothing was going wrong, and the twins were still there, alive and well and growing with every second of every day. She wasn’t allowed to go out beyond the walls alone anymore, which annoyed her to no end. Sometimes she felt like she was going insane, stuck inside with nothing to do. Though she did have ample to do, it just felt like there wasn’t much she could do with her hands. She was so used to moving and being busy, crouched in a hunt or tracking a threat. It was a lot different, and Nix hoped she’d never be pregnant ever again – the cramps and the confinement were going to send her crazy.

Most days now, she taught Adam how to read and how to sign the new words he learned. She’d usually sit on the floor with him next to her, reading the kid books or writing in his workbooks, but as the babies continued to grow, she couldn’t get up from the ground anymore, not without help or almost toppling over when she tried to use a chair as an aid. That made everything feel so damn real – she was pregnant and growing two lives, and she couldn’t crouch or get to the floor properly anymore. It was a comical thing to hear about before, but now that she was experiencing it, it freaked her out a little. Alden laughed at her at first and then had to help her up because she couldn’t get up on her own without clambering around like an idiot. He kissed her and promised that it would be over soon enough.

Maggie gave her some old maternity clothes she pulled out of storage, and Nix hated just how comfy they were. They made her feel at ease and not like she was being crushed in jeans that she couldn’t wear anymore because her hips were wider, and her stomach was very obviously bigger. But she was comfortable, even if the clothes weren’t particularly her style. Sophia teased her a lot over it but did tell her that her ass looked great in the new pants.

She had regular appointments with Enid, mostly to keep their minds at ease, worried that something could go wrong because their luck was dogshit and it felt like something had to go wrong. It was like they couldn’t dare to hope in case that hope was taken and shattered in front of them. But things had been going so well for so long, so they could hope, even though that little voice in the back of their minds told them that everything would be tipped upside down soon. Nothing ever went wrong, not really. There were hiccups and issues that arose, but the issues were settled, and things continued on.

Once Nix was firmly in the middle of her second trimester, Enid suggested that she ought to move to the Commonwealth for the rest of her pregnancy. Nix hated the idea completely; she didn’t like the Commonwealth, and if she was going to give birth there, then she was going to be in the same hospital Luke died in. It felt like a bad omen of sorts.

‘Most twins are born around thirty-seven weeks. Single babies are usually forty weeks. It’s for peace of mind, in case you end up going into labour earlier,’ Enid told her. ‘I’ll be coming with you, and getting the doctors, midwives, obstetrician and paediatrician to understand your case.’

Christ, that was a lot of people. Nix still nodded, aware that Alden was absorbing as much information as possible beside her. He’d almost pulled out a notepad and pen to write things down. How many people were going to be there when she did give birth? Nix honestly expected it to be her, Enid and Alden – with Sophia and Daryl (and the rest of their family) waiting outside because that was something they would do.

‘I’ll give you my notes that I’ve made, and I’ll be visiting with every train that comes. I’ll stay from week thirty until you give birth,’

Nix nodded again, feeling very overwhelmed. She was a good eighteen weeks pregnant now, and it felt like in no time at all she’d be ready to give birth. Sure it was going to be around nine months overall, but it didn’t feel longer than five days ago that she was being told she was pregnant. It was an odd experience, and sometimes it felt like it wasn’t real. Sure, her belly was bigger, and Adam kept calling her fat, but … it didn’t feel quite real yet, though at times it felt all too real.

‘Thanks,’ Nix signed, and Enid nodded. ‘When should they start moving around? I’m … I’ve not felt much if anything.’

Enid frowned a little. ‘Well, you’re at eighteen weeks, sometimes when it’s your first one, you don’t feel anything until after twenty weeks. They’re alive, we saw the heartbeats, so don’t worry,’ she signed and offered a smile. ‘They’re alive and well. If I had to guess? They’re sleeping, or at the very least annoyed at each other.’

Nix smiled, feeling a little better. It’d been worrying her, the lack of movement, but they were OK. Sleeping or just developing. They were alive, which was the primary concern. Enid explained the information that they needed when it came to the Commonwealth; she already had the names of all the doctors and nurses that would be helping take care of Nix and the twins. But she’d also gone ahead and gotten in contact with Connie about getting an apartment ready for them to reside in whilst they were in that community. Jesus was going to be tasked with keeping their home safe and well whilst they were gone.

Over in the Commonwealth, Connie was organising the apartment for them, something small, furnished, and close to the hospital. Something on the ground floor so that Nix didn’t have to climb a flight of stairs. Connie was coming along well in her pregnancy, though Kelly was paranoid and worried about any scares that came with pregnancy. Nix understood why Kelly was so worried, though she hoped that Kelly wouldn’t go into cardiac arrest when Nix came to stay.

So she, Alden and Adam packed some bags when the time came to go to the Commonwealth. Adam babbled to himself, getting distracted by his toys. The two left him to it, packing their clothes and essentials. Enid was in the infirmary faxing over Nix’s medical information to the Commonwealth and was presumably also caring for her other patients.

‘Are you going to be OK with this?’ Alden asked once their bags were done. Adam had given up entirely, playing with a Barbie and a T-Rex. He paid them no mind as they sat together on the couch. ‘It’s only temporary, but you never liked the Commonwealth to begin with,’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘I know. But it’s not as bad as it used to be. We trust Ezekiel, and he’s made things better. Plus most of our friends are there, and my dad is going to be there too. Don’t let him scare you too much,’ she added, and Alden smiled a little. ‘It’s OK. Stop worrying,’

‘You’re worrying,’ he signed, and Nix scoffed, slapping his chest a little.

‘We’re both worried. Also, we don’t have names. The babies need names.’ Nix frowned a little, trying to avoid a crisis. ‘Our babies. They need names.’

Alden gave her a knowing look. ‘It’s weirding you out again, isn’t it?’

She nodded, feeling a little sheepish. Sometimes she was fine with it, she knew that they were hers and Alden’s, and they were making their own family. Other times it came out of nowhere and the realisation seemed to mean that much more. Nix was pregnant, that she had come to terms with. Twins too? That was a daunting thought that kept her up at night at times. But this was theirs, the little thing that they’d (accidentally) made from scratch. They were going to hold newborn babies and give them names and watch them grow with Adam as a big brother.

‘It’s life, something normal like from Before. Sometimes I forget we can have things like this. Or that they’re even possible.’ They’d spent so long being scared and not daring to hope for anything more, that now they had the chance, it was like holding something precious and delicate.

‘After going through so much, it takes a while to slow down to regular life,’ he told her. ‘It’s OK. We’ll still wake up thinking the Whisperers are there, or that Milton is still in power, even when we know they’re not. It’s just something we’ll have to learn to handle,’

Nix nodded and let him put his hand on her stomach. ‘When they kick, I’m going to piss myself out of fright,’ she signed after a moment and Alden smiled, huffing a laugh. ‘Seriously, they’ve squashed my bladder to the size of an egg cup.’

‘You’re ridiculous,’ he told her, and she smiled back at him and put her hands around his.

Adam looked up from his toys, grinned at them, and then waddled over to them and slapped his hands on Nix’s stomach too.

“Baby,” he said, tiny nails digging into Nix’s t-shirt. ‘Did you eat them?’

‘No,’ she signed, then picked him up. ‘Are you excited to be a big brother?’

Adam glared at her stomach. ‘No.’ Alden smiled and reached over and started talking to him. Nix didn’t bother trying to keep up with their conversation; she knew that Alden was going to big up the whole thing about being a big bother. It was fun watching them, and it left a fond feeling settling in her chest.

 


 

 

‘What’s the male version of Hazel?’ Alden asked as they shook from side to side. The train ride was a bit uncomfortable, but the seats that’d been put in were somewhat soft, and they had windows to look out of. Enid was with them in the row on their right, with Sophia right by her side. They had two bags with them, and one was presumably full of Enid’s notes, medical lists and the like. The other held their belongings, clothes they’d wear for the duration of their stay.

‘How should I know?’ Nix asked, grimacing when Adam drooled down her tank top, smacking his lips as he dreamt on. ‘Hansel? Harry?’ she made a face. ‘I don’t like them. Why?’

Alden shrugged. ‘I wanted to name them after Luke and Hazel. Doesn’t work if you hate the male version of Hazel.’

Nix shrugged. ‘Maybe they’re girls. Or one of each.’

He smiled. ‘So what if they’re both girls?’

‘Hazel and … whatever the girl version of Luke is?’

‘Lucinda?’ he asked, and Nix pulled a disgusted look. ‘Lucia?’

‘That one’s better.’ She spelt it out a few times on her hand. ‘Yeah, that’s a good one.’

‘Hazel and Lucia. Quite nice names.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘They could be worse, have you seen our names? Do you know how long it took me to realise you don’t pronounce the ‘O’ in Phoenix? I think that’s why I just go by Nix.’

It looked like Alden was trying his best not to laugh at her. ‘So how would you pronounce it? Can you say it?’

Nix narrowed her eyes at him, but a part of her was trying to figure out how to use her voice. She shrugged and put her head on his shoulder, absently wiping the drool from her chest. Despite how gross Adam could be, she wouldn’t change him for the world.

Adam continued to nap, much to Nix’s relief. They’d put him on the spare seat and gave him a pillow to rest on. She was content to try and nap through the whole thing too. Alden kept an arm around her, letting her slouch against him. She was tired a lot more lately, and hungry too. She could eat a meal for four and still be asking for seconds and thirds. Maggie teased her good-naturedly about it, and Alden didn’t even bother to raise an eyebrow, just accepted that Nix was always hungry. She was growing living beings, of course, she was going to be hungry.

‘I want chocolate,’ she signed after a moment. She looked to Alden. ‘I’m onto new cravings.’

‘Oh no,’ he signed and made a face. ‘I don’t even know where we can find chocolate.’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Can you figure it out? I want chocolate.’

‘I want chocolate too,’ he signed and then rested his head against the headrest. ‘The Commonwealth probably have some. They have ice cream.’

She nodded and then felt something weird. She moved her hand over her stomach and froze when she felt something press against her hand. It’s the alien from Alien, was her first thought before she realised it was one of her babies. She gasped, then reached over and grabbed Alden’s hand. He looked alarmed before he felt the baby kick against his hand.

“Fuck,” he said, and his other arm moved over, and Nix felt something akin to guilt when he glanced back at his stump, remembering his other hand wasn’t there anymore. She took hold of his elbow and moved him so that the least scarred area could feel the way one of the babies was going ham against Nix’s stomach.

So much for her nap. The first baby must’ve hit the other, because it felt like a battle was going on inside of her. It was hard to try and explain it, but it wasn’t as horrifying to feel as she thought it would be. Surreal, yes, but not unwanted. It didn’t feel like her insides were being destroyed, it was just an odd sensation that wasn’t so bad. It hurt just a little, but it wasn’t enough to alarm her or seriously injure her.

After maybe half an hour or so, they settled down. It was such an odd feeling, and Nix wasn’t quite sure what to do. They were real, there, and were proving they were alive. Nix knew that they were going to wake her at stupid hours of the night, kicking and pushing or simply moving around. It took quite a while for her to settle down and get used to the idea that she was going to be awoken by her growing kids.

Alden put his arm around her and let her relax into his side. She couldn’t quite rest, not with how Adam’s breath was nasty and right next to her face, and the rocking of the train reminded her of the last time she’d been on one. But just resting her eyes and getting her body to relax helped.

When Adam did wake up, he took one look at his parents before he opened his mouth and spewed vomit on them.

“What the fuck,” Alden said, nose scrunched up in disgust. Nix held her breath, holding the toddler out. It was sticky and warm and disgusting, and Adam was tearing up. Sophia moved over and picked him up and the two got out and went to clean themselves when Sophia promised to take care of Adam for them.

‘At least he didn’t shit on us,’ Nix signed, then pulled her top off because the smell of vomit clung to it. ‘Can you get me a fresh one?’ she asked, then looked up at Alden when he didn’t respond. She watched as he put a hand on her swollen belly. ‘Can you get me a t-shirt?’ she repeated, tilting his head up by his chin. He nodded, then kissed her before he vanished out of the bathroom. Nix settled on the closed toilet and wiped at the dampness on her chest.

Adam probably had motion sickness. She couldn’t blame him, it was his first time on a train, and the movement was a little jarring.

Alden returned a minute or so later and handed Nix a fresh t-shirt for her. No longer covered in vomit, the two returned to their annoying toddler and settled back down. He looked upset and teared up a few times; his throat probably hurt, and the whole thing had been very sudden for him. He was cleaned up, in some fresh clothes whilst their clothes covered in vomit were put into a carrier bag to be cleaned later on.

‘Are you OK?’ Nix asked, looking down at Adam in his seat. He shrugged a shoulder, then reached out to touch her fresh clothes. ‘It’s OK, things happen. You’re OK.’

Adam smiled and nodded before he curled up next to her. She put a hand on his side and watched him reach out and play with a dinosaur toy. Across from them, Sophia was talking animatedly to Alden, hands moving over the signs absently, like it was second nature to her. It helped Nix keep track of her side of the conversation. She mostly complained about how she didn’t like the train ride, and how Enid was so worried about the pregnancy.

Everyone appeared to be more worried about it than Nix. She was mostly terrified of the birth. Enid gave her some information about the different positions to give birth in, and Nix was horrified to learn that on the back was the most painful way to go about it. So Nix decided she would do any other position other than that. She’d crouch if she had to if it meant she wasn’t in the worst pain imaginable.

The train started to slow, and everyone stopped their conversations, looking around to see the Commonwealth appearing in the distance, its walls covered in banners representing Alexandria, Hilltop and Oceanside. They had banners to represent their united communities, what a surreal thing to witness.

‘Home sweet home,’ Alden signed to her.

 


 

 

The apartment they’d been given was on the bottom floor and relatively close to the hospital, as promised. It was small, but it would do for them. Enid left to go to the hospital and get the midwives and doctors in order. Sophia kept Nix and Alden company and raided their cupboards, only to find they were empty. She turned around and pouted at them, and Nix wondered if Sophia was their daughter by proxy; Nix certainly had to reprimand her on occasion.

‘Why is there no food? I thought Connie was going to get this set up,’

‘She’ll be running late. She’s pregnant and runs the paper. When is she not busy?’ Nix signed, and Sophia nodded before she went and slouched on their couch dramatically. Adam laughed at her and walked over to grasp her arm. She grinned at him and lifted him up onto her stomach, and he giggled and played pat-a-cake with her.

Nix went into their bedroom and found it to have plain white walls, brown bedside tables and a dull grey bed. It would do, and she knew it was just until the babies were born, but there was something about not being in their home back in the Hilltop that bugged her. Alden joined her and took hold of her hand and offered a smile.

“Not for long.”

She nodded and pushed her arms around him, and then glared at her stomach when she found she couldn’t hug him and be flush up against him. She felt him laugh before they readjusted. He rested his head atop hers and they stayed like that until Sophia and Adam knocked at the bedroom door incessantly.

“Food,” Sophia said once they opened the door. She had Adam on her shoulders, and he had a handful of her hair in his hand. It looked a little painful.

“Food!” Adam copied, looking down at them expectantly.

With Adam secured on a leash of sorts, their group set off into the Commonwealth. There were people milling around, living their lives, not noticing them. It was nice and better than when people would stare at them in awe at what they’d done. Nix preferred blending into the crowd, where she could hide and not be ogled at like some kind of exotic animal. It’d all calmed down now, and she hoped that they’d never have to have some weird kind of fame ever again.

They found a café and had drinks there and weird British food that the server said were scones and was apparently very specific about how to pronounce the word. Nix didn’t really care, and when the waiter left, she held onto Alden’s hand and pressed it against her stomach. One of the twins kicked every so often, and Nix wondered if they were fighting. It would be funny if they were already fighting in the womb. Though it left the daunting fact that if they were fighting, then they’d be even worse once they had extra space to throw punches.

Their drinks came and so did their food. It took a little bit of effort to make sure Adam didn’t throw his food everywhere or have a meltdown. It was nice and felt surreal at times, but they were OK. It was a successful trip, and Nix ended up eating hers and Alden’s chocolate cake desserts. They left the café and ended up on a stroll and ended up in some marble seated area and lounged around. Nix struggled to get comfy and watched as Adam spoke Sophia’s ear off.

They returned to their apartment and Sophia vanished to try and find Enid. The two came by later that evening and they got to watch movies. Enid, every so often, glanced at Nix, which was probably to make sure she wasn’t going to go into premature labour. Everyone was on edge; this was the first set of twins that would be born, and everyone knew how complicated it could get.

The next day, Nix went to the hospital to be seen by the midwives and doctors who would be there for the rest of her pregnancy. There were unfamiliar faces, but Enid was there and was translating everything they said to Nix. They expressed their worries and suggested that they put the idea of a c-section on the table in case things went wrong.

She knew there were risks when it came to pregnancy, more so when there was more than one foetus. She was terrified of the idea of a c-section, knowing what’d happened to Lori. But she had to keep reminding herself that she was safe, that she wouldn’t suffer a caesarean gone wrong. She’d live and be able to see her kids grow. Lori’s had been a case of terror, completely unsanitary and dangerous; she’d died knowing it was to make sure her baby survived.

The hardest part of it all was entering the hospital. Having to enter through the very same entrance they’d blocked off months ago brought on a wave of nausea and fear. It felt like she could see the scene right there in front of her. The panic and shouting, Luke laying on a stretcher, bleeding out and crying. Alden held her hand as they walked past the room where Luke died. She could remember the smell of blood, the way it stained her hands. She’d cut his goddamn leg off – how could she have done that to him?

But he’d been suffering, and amputation was the only way to try and save his life. There was a good chance of it going wrong anyway. It still hurt to walk past, and she could see the walls and the floor were clean and pristine, and the memory of Luke’s life fading away was only in Nix’s mind. His ghost wasn’t there in the halls of the hospital. He was buried elsewhere, safe and put to rest. He wasn’t there, dying in that room.

He’d die there, and Nix’s children would be brought born there. She didn’t know how to explain that it felt like some kind of sadistic irony. One of her children would be named after him, as either Luke or Lucia. She’d lost one, and she was gaining another. Nix wished that Luke could’ve been there with her, she needed him there with her. He’d always been so good and understanding, and his presence would’ve made the worry and fear ebb away.

If Luke was still alive, he’d be there with her. He’d probably be cracking jokes to Alden about a future Night With Luke and Friends, and it’d be the kids. He’d help Nix when she got sick or her feet hurt, and he’d be so careful. He should’ve been there with her, and there was a part of her that would always hold the guilt that she couldn’t save him. She’d tried so hard to save him, and she failed.

It made her tear up, thinking about the future that she’d lost with him. She missed him so much that she had a hard time getting out of bed some days. She knew that he’d want her to live her life without him there, and she tried just that. But there were good and bad days, ones where she could smile at the fond memories she held of Luke, and the ones where she couldn’t get out of bed, crying and giving herself a headache.

So with a heavy heart, she walked past the room that held Luke’s final moments. Once that was done, and Nix was examined for how far along she was, they left the hospital in favour of going to find Connie. Nix held onto Alden’s hand tightly when they left. He promised that they would go and visit the memorial set up for Luke, Jules, and Gabriel once they were done. It felt wrong not to visit the memorial site while they were at the Commonwealth.

Connie was at the newspaper’s building, examining an article that was going to be put on the front page. She had her own office, and people went in and out with various articles and proposed ideas. She was taking it in stride and was effective. Nix was proud of her. Connie was quick to drop her latest article and rush over to them when they appeared in the doorway, steps a little waddle-like before she wrapped Nix in a tight hug.

‘You look well,’ she signed before she wrangled Alden into a hug. He hastily readjusted his hold on Adam, then returned the hug. ‘And you do too. How’s your arm doing?’

Alden shrugged a shoulder, glancing at the prosthetic. ‘Been better, been worse,’

Connie gestured and they settled down into the chairs in front of her desk. She sat back down behind her desk and held out a toy for Adam. He grabbed it and thanked her before he walked off to play on his own.

‘It was difficult, wasn’t it?’ Connie signed because she understood Nix on a deeper level. She knew what Nix was going through, how her mind worked. She must’ve gone through the same emotional toil when she had to step into the hospital for her checkups too.

‘It’ll get easier,’ Nix replied, but part of her dreaded that it wouldn’t. ‘It’s OK. Has yours been kicking your spleen?’ she asked, changing the subject because talking about Luke hurt at the best of times.

‘No, my bladder. He’s a kicker,’

‘He?’ Nix and Alden asked together.

Connie nodded, a smile stretching across her face. ‘He’s gonna be a soccer player, your dad swears by it.’

‘Mine might give yours a run for your money,’ Nix signed. ‘We don’t know the genders yet,’

‘Twins,’ Alden confirmed when Connie’s jaw slackened a little. ‘But we don’t know the genders just yet. I think we’ll ask for the reveal at our next appointment.’

Nix nodded. ‘Yeah, we’ve got the names down for boys and girls,’

Connie smiled widely, nodding, then gestured for them to continue. ‘Hazel and Lucia if it’s two girls, Luke and Connor if it’s two boys,’

Nix made a gesture. ‘After you and Luke,’ she signed, and Connie put a hand to her chest, emotions flooding her face quickly, the tears brimming her eyes. Nix had to blink the tears away that appeared in her eyes; goddamn hormones.

‘You’re such a sweetheart, the pair of you. I suppose it’s a good job that I haven’t gotten you anything for your baby shower yet. I was going to go to the store once my shift was over.’

Nix snorted. ‘Baby shower?’ she asked. Why would anyone bother with a baby shower nowadays? They had enough stuff with them so that they could handle Adam, plus two newborn babies. They’d have to take it all back, and that required help from others, which they would accept, but the manual labour would be annoying – not to mention having to build whatever was gifted. Though if they asked, Jesus would be more than willing to help them, and Nix suspected her dad would be the same, visiting just to help them out.

‘Sophia told us to prepare one in advance –’ Connie paused, and the two opposite her raised their eyebrows. ‘It was a surprise. Shit.’

Nix rested her head on her fist, an amused smile on her face as Alden laughed beside her. ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if we didn’t turn up? You can have the baby shower. God knows Jesus has been getting us all sorts of shit back home.’

Jesus promised to take care of their home in their absence, and people had been gifting them in preparation for the babies. Jesus had already helped set up the crib for the twins, after being advised that they have one so that the babies could sleep together. He’d helped set the crib up after the two had increasing struggles – from Adam screaming, and Nix unable to get up on her own, to Alden struggling with his prosthetic. He was their saviour, which was ironic given his nickname.

‘It’s alright, we can act surprised, can’t we?’ Alden signed, shrugging a shoulder.

‘Me acting surprised is punching the surpriser in the face,’ she signed, and the two laughed at her. Surprises weren’t her thing, though since she was told ahead of time, then she wouldn’t deck Sophia if she jumped out and scared her.

‘She has a point, Sophia will be expecting her to throw a punch,’

‘Or a knife,’ Connie added, and Nix stuck her tongue out at her, which just made the two laugh at her more.

Adam walked back over to them at their laughter, and he moved around the desk and Nix could see his hands rise up above the desk. Connie picked him up and sat him down on her lap. She smiled at him fondly.

‘I’m proud of you – both of you,’ she signed, and Alden blushed at the sudden inclusion. ‘You’ve both grown so much, and it’s lovely to be part of your lives.’

‘You’re getting very emotional on us,’ Nix warned her with a soft smile. If Connie kept this up, the two of them would be crying their eyes out.

Connie smiled. ‘It’s the hormones,’ she signed, hand going to her own stomach. ‘It drives your father insane,’

‘Bet it does. Is he super paranoid about you?’

‘Yes, but he’s not as bad as Kelly. I think her head will implode when she finds out you’re having twins.’

‘I’ve been dreading it,’ Nix signed, expression exaggerated. ‘She’s going to go into cardiac arrest when she finds out. That, or she’ll put me on bed rest and keep us in the same bed to keep an eye on us.’

Connie’s smile widened. ‘I can see that happening, don’t give her any more ideas. She’s already getting on at me about being on my feet too much. When you see her, you can tell her I was sitting down and comfy the entire time.’

Notes:

This chapter was a pain to write, I really had to fight it. The next chapter is just as hard to write, though I think it's also because the end is coming in however many chapters are left, and I refuse to acknowledge that. It can't end if I don't write the end, right?

Please let me know what you think! Is this pregnancy thing annoying, is it good? Do you think Nix will go insane from the fact she is growing two children? Do you also like the names that've been picked out?

Chapter 49: Almost

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was still annoying living in the Commonwealth. Despite its flaws, there were vast improvements. It was easy to get into a flow there, though Nix and Alden were going insane from doing nothing most days. Alden spent his time reading baby books and thinking up and designing blueprints and plans for the Hilltop. Once or twice, he was whisked away for an opinion on a new building idea for the Commonwealth. Ezekiel trusted him and his opinion and requested his aid.

Everyone seemed to find a new way to stare at them in awe when they saw Ezekiel walking with them, chatting away as he held Adam for them. He smiled at the people, greeted them and took the time out to listen to their words, and it seemed to make people enjoy living in the Commonwealth more than ever. Ezekiel was a good person, and everyone thrived under his lead. It must’ve been a vast difference from when Pamela was in charge.

Jerry and Nabila greeted them warmly, happy to see them once more. There were many congratulations, as they were also expecting another child. It felt like the time for babies, with how many people were now expecting their own. Nix thought that it was good; her kids wouldn’t grow up alone like she had. There’d be other kids their ages who they could play with, be in classes with and experience something that would look like a normal childhood.

What would a normal childhood be? They’d grow up understanding that the dead roamed the Earth and that the way they treated their dead would be different to how past generations did. But maybe they wouldn’t have to walk around with a knife tucked into their belts, and weapons on their backs, searching for food and water to try and survive. They would get to live their entire lives and not feel scared or threatened.

It was a daunting thought after being made to survive and endure inexplicable horrors. It didn’t feel possible that something so lovely as that would be possible for her own children. There would always be a part of Nix that would wait for something to go wrong, for some new threat that would try and ruin their lives and force them into another fight. She would always have that innate fear, that innate response. But she knew that maybe her children wouldn’t have that kind of reaction.

Would they get the chance to see a world where their communities wouldn’t need to be walled off?

Nix was thinking too far ahead of herself. She turned her attention back to the present, where she could see the tiny baby bodies on the screen as the cool jelly was mushed around her ever-growing stomach. She felt like a goddamn whale, and she was losing sight of her feet. Alden had to help her if she so much as crouched because she couldn’t get back up.

From what she could see on the screen, the babies were alive and well and were battling each other. It was still weird to feel them moving in her stomach. They were moving and growing, and there were heartbeats on screen, letting her know that their hearts were beating out a strong rhythm. She knew that there was audio playing for Alden and Enid to listen to. Nix held onto Alden’s hand in both of hers, feeling nervous even though she knew everything was fine.

There was a midwife with them, overviewing the whole thing. She was mostly holding Sophia back, as she looked like she was going to shoot off like a rocket into space. The midwife, and Adam in her lap, looked like they were the only things keeping her in her seat. She kept blurting out questions that had the midwife looking exasperated. Everyone else was just used to it by now.

Nix looked over to Enid, who looked pleased, a smile on her face. ‘They’re good, both of them are happy and healthy, and they look like they’re fighting for space. I can tell you their sexes if you want?’ Enid suggested once she was done observing the babies.

Nix and Alden looked at each other before Nix nodded. Alden grinned, then confirmed that yes, they wanted to know. Enid grinned at them before Enid looked back to the screen, eyes searching for something Nix couldn’t see.

Sophia’s mouth opened in what had to be an excited scream. Nix was already smiling before Enid looked at her and Alden. ‘Two very healthy girls,’

“Fuck yeah!” Sophia yelled, and she held Adam up in front of her, and she said something to him, but the toddler’s head blocked Nix’s view.

‘Girls,’ Nix signed. Hazel and Lucia. Her heart twisted fondly. Alden squeezed her hand, and she smiled at him, a little watery thing. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, and he helped her clean up before she got off the bed.

‘You’ll be ready soon. You’ve been experiencing Braxton Hicks, right?’ Enid asked, and Nix nodded. It scared the life out of her at first, thinking she’d gone into premature labour, but when the pain didn’t increase, and was more like a mild bout of period pain, she calmed down. It took a little bit more reassurance before Alden also calmed down. ‘Good. At least you’ll know the difference when you do start labour,’

Nix didn’t know which one she wanted, active or slow labour. It wasn’t like she was going to get a choice in the matter anyway. Her body was going to make her suffer anyway.

They finished up, with promises of more check-ups in the future. They were getting even closer to the due date.

 


 

 

The baby shower was less surprising than Nix expected. They returned to their apartment to find their friends and family all there, with decorations put up, and gifts wrapped for them. Nix’s father was there, a proud and emotional look on his face. He took one look at her huge stomach and tears were in his eyes, which naturally set Nix off. It made everyone else there laugh at the two; the Dixons weren’t very emotional, yet there they were, crying.

Yumiko and Magna got them some baby clothes, which were small and cute and made Nix and Alden very emotional. Adam didn’t care and was easily distracted with a toddler book. Sophia was holding Adam in her lap, looking very excited and she was wearing that fuck-ugly jumper Jesus got her. It was good. There was still a part of Nix that expected things to go sideways, but they didn’t. She and Alden had a fun time, everyone was smiling and laughing and joking.

Once it was all over, Nix laid down on the couch, hand on her aching stomach. Alden was sitting on the floor, playing with Adam, who was interested in the new baby toys that the girls were going to have. Knowing that she was going to have girls, that scared Nix a little. She knew that the people that she called family were good people, and would never hurt them. It was the people that she didn’t know that made her feel uneasy. There were so many people in the Commonwealth, and how many of them would be predators hiding in plain sight? She’d grown up terrified that a man would find her, rape her and torture her before leaving her for dead. She didn’t want her girls to have that kind of fear from the moment they knew what good and bad was.

It was almost as if they could sense her unease. The twins kicked at her stomach, and a foot lodged itself up in her ribs. She grimaced a little and carefully shoved it back down. Alden saw and turned away to gag a little. Nix laughed at him, then reached out for his hand and placed it on her stomach. The twins were kicking up a storm, and Nix wondered if they were fighting. They were going to be great soccer players if they kept this up.

‘Can I touch?’ Adam asked, and barely let Nix nod before he slapped his hands on her stomach. His eyes went wide, and he pulled his hands away, flexing his fingers. Nix knew it was an odd sensation, and it was amusing to see Adam’s reaction. At least he didn’t throw up like he did on the train. Oh shit, he was going to throw up going back to Hilltop, wasn’t he?

‘They’re pretty active now,’ Alden commented, and Nix shifted so that she was on her side. It hurt sleeping on her back now, and it was difficult trying to get comfortable. ‘Are you in any pain?’

Nix shrugged a little. ‘Not the worst pain I’ve been in.’ She could remember being held captive, the knife cutting into her skin, the miscarriage, the beatings she’d endured. No, a little back pain and mild discomfort were the least of her worries. She could almost ignore it. Though she knew that there was going to be a lot of pain in the future; she was going to give birth, and not to one child like a normal person, no, she was going to have two in one go.

‘You’re overthinking,’ Alden told her when he got her attention again. She smiled a little and kissed him when he offered. ‘I’ll put Adam to bed. Then we can cry over the little outfits.’ He held one out to her, and it immediately made tears spring to her eyes. He grinned at her as she held the little onesie before he pulled Adam up and towards his bedroom.

Nix sat up, and it took a little effort. Her swollen belly was becoming more of an inconvenience as the days went on. She pulled a bag full of baby clothes closer, and she looked through them all. Most were pink and while that was a little annoying, Nix saw that shit coming a mile away. At least there were some clothes with other colours. It wouldn’t matter much, since once the girls were born, they’d end up growing out of the clothes.

Alden joined her half an hour later, and they went through the different clothes together. Nix held up the tiny socks, and the two looked at each other with teary eyes.

‘What the fuck?’ Nix asked. ‘They’re so small,’

Alden took them in his hand, staring at them in disbelief. ‘These won’t last five minutes,’

Nix nodded, unable to take her eyes off the tiny clothes. They were going to grow fast, and these small items would end up being replaced with more and more clothes. The two organised the clothes and cleaned the rest of their apartment before they relaxed together on the couch. Nix watched Alden flick on the TV, and the DVD player started up. Christ, when was the last time she saw a movie? Jurassic Park played, and Nix couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen it before.

Nix got up and grabbed a food bowl and several snacks. When she looked back at Alden, she saw the amused look on his face. She flipped him off, then waddled back.

‘Hungry,’ she signed, then slapped his hand away when he tried to get some of her food. He grinned at her and watched as she ate. She knew that she probably looked a mess; eating without preamble, balancing the bowl on her stomach. Nix looked worse in other situations, so she didn’t feel bothered by her appearance. Alden still loved her and from the way he kept glancing at her, he wanted to take things to the bedroom.

It was a surprisingly domestic thing, and as jarring as it was – compared to their life before – Nix kinda liked it. She wasn’t completely on edge, and she could relax and just be. Her internal thought of domesticity was put on pause when she winced at the twins kicking the living shit out of each other in the womb.

‘I want to shout at them to calm the fuck down,’ Nix signed to Alden, who could only grin at her. He leaned over and pressed his mouth to her stomach. She felt the vibrations of his voice against her skin, and she laughed at the sensation. She had no idea what he was saying, but she watched on, amused. The twins continued to kick and almost kicked Alden until he pulled away and gave her a shrug.

‘I tried,’ he signed, then snatched some of her food before she could stop him. She glared at him half-heartedly before she put the bowl between them. They continued to watch the DVD, and the subtitles were a bit crap, but Nix didn’t mind. They barely made it through the rest of the film before they decided to go to bed. Alden cleaned up, and Nix had trouble getting off the couch before she managed to do it. When she looked at Alden, she saw the way he was trying hard not to laugh at her.

They retired to bed together, struggling to get comfortable. They were about to doze off into sleep when their bedroom door opened. Nix almost went for the knife under her pillow, and Alden was up and alert. He held his hand out to her to stop her, and they looked over and saw Adam in the doorway. He was rubbing his eyes and he looked like he’d been crying.

‘Nightmare,’ the little boy signed. Nix sighed, relaxing minutely. She slyly put the knife in her bedside table drawer, so that Adam couldn’t get to it in the bed. Alden gestured Adam in, and the boy shut the door before he scrambled to get into bed with them. His little knees dug into Nix’s hip before he got comfortable between them.

Not long from now, there were going to be two newborn babies with them, screaming and crying and probably deafening Alden and Adam. Beside her, Alden pulled Adam into his arms and the two drifted off into sleep. Nix couldn’t get any sleep. Her mind kept racing, and her old paranoia kept bugging her. After an hour or so with no sleep, she carefully flicked on the bedside lamp and pulled out a notebook from the bedside table.

The last will and testament of Phoenix Dixon.

She frowned at that. Were wills even a thing anymore? It wasn’t like it was going to be legal, and she didn’t really know what was put into a will apart from money and personal objects.

The last will and testament of Phoenix Dixon
if shit goes wrong, look at this list –

That was probably more like it. Things were always bound to go wrong, and her nerves and paranoia were getting the best of her. Nix wrote down bullet points for if things went wrong during the birth. Name them Hazel and Lucia. Help Alden raise the kids. Teach them ASL and how to use a bow. The list went on; asking Sophia and Enid to help, to be the godparents. For her father to be OK if she died, and know it was OK with her. She wrote about how much she loved the others, and that she would be at peace. If there was a heaven, then she would be with Luke, and it would be alright.

Part of her hated that she was writing this because the doctors were good and skilled. But she’d lived most of her life fighting for her life, and she didn’t want people to struggle after she was gone. Covering the bases made her feel … not safe but reassured. If things went sideways and she died, at least she’d left behind some form of instructions on what to do after her death. She went over it a few times, revising some of it. Her worries were mostly centred around Alden trying to raise three kids with one arm. But Sophia and Enid – and her father and several others – would step up and help him.

If she did die, she would never get to see her girls. She’d die knowing that her children would be cared for by her friends and family. Death was terrifying to her, knowing what would happen if she wasn’t stopped before she turned. The fear of death was rational, not knowing what happened after. She was never a religious person, always kinda thought that nothing happened after death – apart from turning into a walker – but the more she thought about it and her paranoia and nerves started to get to her, the more she hoped for some form of peaceful afterlife. As much as she hoped and wanted for there to be an afterlife, she couldn’t quite get herself to believe in it.

With the list complete, and her brain trying to mess with her more than usual, she tried to get comfortable in bed. The light turned off and the notebook was put away, she looked at the two faces in the dark next to her. Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she reached out and ran her fingers across Adam’s face, gentle enough not to wake him. He looked content in Alden’s arms, if a little warmer than normal. There was a little drool in the corner of the boy’s mouth, and Nix wiped it away and winced when a foot lodged itself in her ribs.

One of these girls was definitely going to be a soccer player.

 


 

 

Nix woke to warm kisses on her temple. She frowned, jerking away a little before she opened her eyes and looked up at Alden. She pushed her hand into his face, and he laughed, kissing her palm.

‘Time to get up,’ he told her, and she groaned. He helped her sit up, and she rubbed at her eyes before she heaved herself up out of bed. Immediately she had to go to the bathroom, and she knew Alden was laughing as she went. When she rejoined him in the kitchen, Adam was in his toddler highchair, eating a bowl of porridge. He was into porridge now. Alden was trying to make pancakes, but without his other hand, he was having a little bit of difficulty. Nix watched for a moment before she walked over to him and helped. He bumped their shoulders together, mouthing thank you to her before they continued with the pancakes.

Nix piled the finished pancakes up on their plates, and Adam immediately ignored his porridge and made grabby hands for the pancakes. Nix lathered her pancakes in syrupy goodness and shared her pancakes with Adam. Alden only had a little bit of butter with his pancakes, so Adam thought Nix had the better taste. They were only having pancakes because it somehow made Nix’s craving for dirt of all things go away. She could smell dirt and her mouth would water and her stomach would rumble loud enough for Alden and the others to notice.

Syrup ended up all over Adam’s face, and he licked around his mouth trying to get it. They finished breakfast and Nix took Adam and cleaned him up in the bathroom. They got dressed and got ready for their walk around the Commonwealth. Nix wanted to get as much exercise in as possible, even if it was just to walk for a little while. They were going to go with Daryl since he knew the best haunts in the Commonwealth now that things were going over well.

Once they were all dressed and ready, they left their ground-floor apartment and joined Daryl a block or two away. He smiled at them and took Adam when he reached up for him. He and Alden spoke for a little as they walked, and Nix couldn’t help but appreciate that they were getting along well. She knew her father could be difficult to warm up to at first, or at least he used to be, so it was nice to see them talking.

They stopped by some small café, and Nix watched as her father drank coffee and Alden tried to get Adam to drink his orange juice. Nix had some sweet chocolate muffins that tasted too good to be true. Sophia found them with Ezekiel by her side. There was a look of pride on Ezekiel’s face whenever he looked at Sophia.

“Where’s Connie?” Ezekiel asked Daryl.

‘Working while she still can’, Daryl said and signed, a fond smile on his face. ‘She thinks she can work up until the moment she gives birth. I think she will.’

‘Oh, she will, and that’s if you and Kelly don’t team up and put her on bed rest.’ Nix signed. She knew Connie well enough; the newspaper was one of the most important things to her, keeping it honest and giving the people the truth. She worked hard Before, there was no stopping her from doing the same thing now.

‘She’s on a roll,’ Sophia signed, gesturing to Ezekiel. ‘She grilled him in an interview and the printing press almost broke trying to keep up with demand.’

Nix smiled, feeling so proud of Connie.

Ezekiel inclined his head. ‘Yes, your mother is a very thorough journalist,’ Ezekiel signed, and Nix’s heart did a funny little thing at that. Everyone knew that Connie and Luke were as close to parents Nix got growing up, but it was something else for it to be addressed so casually like that. Nix did her best not to cry – goddamn pregnancy hormones. ‘I’m sure if you put your mind to it, you’d be just as good a journalist. I know Sophia is planning on going down that route.’

Sophia rolled her eyes and she gently shoved Ezekiel’s arm. ‘Shut up,’ she signed lazily. ‘He’s right though. I’ve been thinking about it, but when we go back home … what can I write about back there?’

Nix shrugged a shoulder. ‘Anything. Nothing. Write columns on the crops, the rebuild, send it over to Connie, bring support from here back to the Hilltop.’

Part of Nix could see it: she and Sophia would join up, like they always seemed to, and would do some investigative journalism like Connie. It was a dream, though maybe it could be within reach. For now, Nix was content with trying to manage her little family and the twins when they were finally born. That day was coming ever closer, and as scared as she was about that, she was also very excited. Connie’s due date was about a month or so after Nix’s. It was still pretty surreal for Nix to think that she was going to have a little sibling that would be her own children’s age.

‘I’ll need you to proofread my articles and threaten people,’ Sophia told her.

‘Of course,’ Nix signed, then bumped their fists when Sophia held hers up. Daryl and Ezekiel shared a look that Nix figured was a Dad Thing. Adam ruined the moment by bursting his juice box. Alden took control and took Adam to get changed while the others cleaned up the mess. One of the waitresses came over to help, then realised who they were and had a star-struck look on her face.

“Dad,” Sophia said, and Ezekiel went into action, charming the woman and saying things to her. She beamed and nodded, then helped them clean up the mess and took it away. She returned with another juice box for Adam.

‘He’s a nightmare,’ Nix signed to them once they were settled.

‘He’s either going to be the best big brother or the worst,’ Sophia told her. Nix rolled her eyes, though she could admit to herself that she had a few worries about that.

Adam was a good kid. He behaved for the most part and did listen to them. Though Nix often worried that his brief time with the Whisperers could have left some sort of lasting effect on him. But he looked alright for the most part and didn’t act out differently from how toddlers usually did. He had his meltdowns and would argue in that way kids do, but he was OK. Nix needed to trust that her boy would be fine, would grow up in a good world and wouldn’t end up with scars like her and everyone else she knew. Christ, even Judith had those scars too now that she thought about it.

Alden returned with a clean Adam in fresh clothes. Sophia took Adam when he reached for her, and they shared some toast. Alden came and sat next to Nix, and she thought that after everything they’d gone through, they had it pretty nice.

Notes:

Many apologies for the very long wait! This chapter was genuinely the hardest thing I had to write, and I had to take a step back from it for a while to tackle it. If you've reread this fic, you might see that I've also been editing it pretty heavily - it's only the first two chapters or so from posting this chapter, but I've added a lot of stuff I wish I did the first time, and that helped to churn out this chapter.

Admittedly, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out, but I've already made better progress with it than I did with this one!

Series this work belongs to: