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a slight return home

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Felix is in heat.

The knowledge comes to him slowly at first and then all at once, his scent having lured him out to the training ground and the sight of him somehow keeping him there. 

Sweaty and trying to fight his predilection for all he’s worth. 

He should take him to the infirmary, urge him to go back to his dormitory— anything but stand here and stare, drinking in the knowledge offered to him alone. 

Decisive, sure movements carry him closer, something vile rearing up inside of him at the thought of how just anyone could help himself to Felix like this, any alpha who'd wish to lay a claim. Weak, vulnerable-- he hasn't even noticed that Dimitri is behind him.

He should be nervous, he thinks. Felix isn't using a training sword as he attacks the training dummy with all he has to offer. Even at his worst, Felix still has carefully honed reflexes, honed and sharpened into a blade of their own. It would be hardly surprising if he were to lash out upon being startled. 

Dimitri feels no such fear as he steps up behind him and grabs hold: wrapping an arm around his chest and a hand around his neck, he feels Felix freeze, his sword dropping into the sand below. 

"Felix," he says, his breath hot against the side of his neck. "You shouldn't be here."

When Felix swallows, Dimitri can feel it beneath his ring finger, baiting him to draw tighter. 

"Is that a threat, boar?"

Felix almost sounds like he wants it to be. "It's a warning," he corrects, leaning in close enough to inhale his scent gland, greedy. "You do so rarely take me seriously these days."

"I got here first," Felix grinds out, but Dimitri knows he's half-won already.

Instead of taking advantage of that fact, he steps back, forcing himself to let go of Felix's throat. "I am not here to train, as you seem to think. You'll have to forgive me for seeing your health and safety as more important than your ability to train."

Felix scoffs, rolling his eyes as he turns around to face Dimitri. He's still unsteady on his feet-- slight missteps, things Dimitri knows only he would notice. Little tells that give away just how weak he is right now, and how easy he'd be to take. 

"Don't act like you're here out of the goodness of your heart. I know you're here to--" 

Felix's gaze wavers, cast askance as Dimitri feels the blood pound in his ears. "Finish the sentence, Felix." 

His words go summarily ignored. "If you were really concerned about me, you'd go get Professor Manuela instead of putting your filthy boar hands on me."

Go get the professor? Leave Felix here, where just anyone could claim him? Unacceptable. Unthinkable. The beast in him rears up, furious at the thought alone.

"Absolutely not," he says with a shake of his head, his tone more clipped than he is used to from himself. "You come with me or I shall carry you there myself."

"You can try."

A brief glance up and down Felix's body offers him two reminders: first, that Felix wants him just as badly as he does, and second, that he could lift him with ease, Felix's strength cut into quarters in his present state, if that. 

"Don't taunt an alpha," he whispers darkly, grabbing Felix around the waist and lifting him over his shoulder.  

Once his moment of seeming shock passes, the reaction is near-instant, Felix struggling in a desperate fight against someone far stronger than him. Not that it's a particularly fair one-- though evenly matched under normal circumstances, Felix in heat is weak, and Dimitri--

Dimitri can feel the echoes of a rut prodding at his mind, his cock stirring unmistakably. The harder Felix struggles, the more interest it seems to find in the notion, until Felix is feebly pummeling him and kicking at him and Dimitri has never felt harder. He smells too good, slick already staining the lining of his pants. If Felix were to allow it, perhaps he could allow himself just a taste...

"How dare you belittle me like this," Felix's voice cuts through the haze of his mind, the arousal strumming through his veins. "Put me down. Far from a child, I am perfectly capable of walking myself--"

But you didn't, Dimitri thinks to himself. "I do believe I made you that offer. It was you who chose not to take it." 

"Should have expected this from a filthy, disgusting boar. I bet you only did this so you could stare at my ass. Fucking put me down already."

Stare at his ass? If Felix wished for him to, his words certainly accomplished their intention capitally. More than stare, though, he finds that he wants to touch. His steps slow, one hand running up the back of his thigh--

Oh, goddess.

"Boar." Strained, wanting. "Put me down. Now. Unless you're going to take me somewhere to take care of this."

The words seem to make something skid to a halt in his mind, Dimitri's steps slowing further. The infirmary is so close, and yet--

"You can't tell me you don't want this," Felix continues, seemingly willing to stoke the inferno inside Dimitri's mind. "I know how you are, you savage beast. Beneath all that propriety you’re just a beast in rut who wants nothing more than to put his pups in me right now."

Dimitri's swallow is as slow and measured as his steps. Seteth might hear them here, in the hallway. But if they were to use the war room, perhaps--

He resists the urge to force the door to yield. If it were to break at the hinges, they would hardly have any privacy. Instead, he keeps his focus on what it might be like to make Felix yield as he gets the door open. The lock is worse for wear following their entrance, but Dimitri doesn't care, not when the door closes so easily behind them all the same and he can finally deposit Felix on one of the tables. 

"Felix." This is a bad idea. You don't want this, me. Not as your mate. Not forever. Not like I want y--

"Boar." Felix's hands run up Dimitri's front almost gently before he allows himself to tighten his fingers in the fabric-- and yanks him down to eye-level. "Listen to me. You didn't bring me here to have second fucking thoughts. What kind of alpha are you, anyway, not taking something that's right in front of you-- I won't beg if that's what you're waiting for."

True to his word, Felix does not beg; instead, he allows his hand to graze over Dimitri's groin, just enough that the ghost of his touch makes his mind beg and scream for more. 

Mate. Knot. Breed. He wants it all.

A growl leaves him then, a dreadful reminder that Felix is right about him, has always been right about him. Beneath all the pomp and circumstance, he's little more than an animal. 

Not that Felix would have it any other way from the looks of it, a thought that delights him more than he cares to admit. 

Lifting Felix just enough to flip him over and bend him over the table, Dimitri doesn't hesitate before dropping to his knees and tearing down his pants in one fluid motion. The scent of slick, previously just one of the many hints of Felix's heat intermingling to cloy his senses, suddenly becomes overwhelming, Dimitri realizing in the same breath that he's ravenous for the chance to taste him.

So he does.

What might have once been intended to be words comes out instead in a gasp and a low whimper, Felix's squirming restrained only by Dimitri's hands on his hips to keep him pinned down as his tongue dips between his cheeks and--

Small laps at his rim turn into greedier, sloppier ones as Dimitri inhales the scent of his slick, the proof of his arousal, before pressing into the hole that yields far more readily than he ever thought possible. 

The noises that are leaving Felix are obscene. Beyond the moans are the scrabbling of fingernails on the wood of the table, Felix evidently seeking purchase and finding none. 

He adds a finger, pressing it inside just to feel him, and is not disappointed. 

Felix was made to yield, he realizes as he tastes his slick upon his fingers, the same ones to which Felix opened so readily. The same ones that return just as greedily as the first time, fucking into Felix as he allows himself to nip at his ass. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck--"

Taking in each of his moans as they steadily mount in volume, Dimitri growls, curling his fingers to insistently press down, rhythmic. Where his knot should be. No-- where his knot will be.

"Tell me what you want, Felix," he hears himself say, drunk on the thought alone as he presses down again, harder this time. "Tell me."

"Dammit, boar, I said I won't beg-- fuck!" Felix comes untouched, the sight of his throbbing cock doing little to abate Dimitri's own desires, sublimated for far too long. 

Not that Felix seems to be any less hard than he was when they started, Dimitri undoing the clasp of his pants to free his own cock. He can feel the early beginnings of a knot starting to form, the very thing Felix is all but begging him for. 

"Felix," he whispers, too emotional by far as he raises himself up onto his feet once more and allows his cock to rest in the cleft of his ass.

"Fuck me," Felix snaps, turning to look over his shoulder. "Fucking put your cock in me already, or I swear to Seiros--"

Dimitri doesn't let him finish his sentence, thrusting inside of Felix with a loud groan. 

The knot slips in just barely, small enough to do so with little effort, and Felix keens his evident approval as he lifts his ass and spreads his legs a bit wider before just opting for lifting his knee onto the table. 

"Saints-- move already--"

Dimitri complies. Grabbing hold of his hips, he allows himself to lean into movements that, while undeniably foreign and new, nevertheless feel natural to him. Like this was-- is-- what his body was made for. 

Each time he pulls out, the knot slips out with him, Dimitri left to plunge it back in with each thrust until Felix is reduced to nothing but sounds, every one of them more beautiful than the last.

His thrusts become more shallow from there, his knot swollen to its full size and far harder to fit. But it has to. Not only because of the leg Felix has clumsily wrapped around him to urge Dimitri to fuck him deeper and harder with each thrust, but also because he needs it. 

They both do. 

So he pulls back, withdrawing almost completely, before thrusting back in, Felix all but screaming as the knot forces its way inside of him. 

It's the second time that he comes untouched, Felix whimpering as the sound of cum splattering the floor echoes throughout the room.

"B-boar--"

"Yield," Dimitri says, more demand than plea, Felix answering in naught but a whimper. His thrusts are still shallow with the knot buried inside of him, but infinitely deeper now, unsteady as he fights off his encroaching orgasm. "How does it feel?" he hears himself say, reaching down to wrap his hand around Felix's still-hard and twitching cock. "Knowing you couldn't get away from me even if you wanted to?"

He's not sure if it's his words or the hand wrapped around his length, but Felix comes again almost instantly, growling as his hands dig into the unbending wood of the table, seemingly desperate for something to hold onto. Clenching around Dimitri's cock, hard, it's impossible to hold back any longer, not with Felix's body begging to be bred. 

He doesn't dare spare the implications any mind, just growls as he spills himself deep inside of him. 

It takes a long time for his mind to settle and for reason and good sense to take the place of lust and desperation, reminding him of just how dreadfully Felix would hate the thought of ending up with the boar's offspring inside of him. Pushing aside his hurt at the thought, he swallows, hoping that Felix might react… well, if not entirely positively, if only because he's not sure how much longer they are fated to be tied together, desperately waiting for his knot to recede. 

"Felix," he says slowly, clearing his throat. "You will want to take something tomorrow. To keep from--"

"I know," Felix snaps, not bothering to glare at him over his shoulder. "I'm not an idiot."

"Then--"

"Obviously." 

Those words are less indicative of anything than Felix likely thinks them to be. Dimitri winces, testing the pull of his knot and finding himself still firmly buried. 

"I understand that once may not be… enough. If you wish to do this with someone else, I-- of course I'll understand, but--"

"Is that why you didn't--" Cutting himself off with a grumble, he turns back to face the table. "Never mind. I don't want to risk someone else not satisfying me, so you'll do. Knock on my door after lunch, I should have made it to the infirmary by then."

Something warm settles in his belly at the thought that Felix isn't choosing to do this with anyone else. Just… him. "Are you… quite certain you won't need any assistance in going to the infirmary? I wouldn't mind accompanying you."

"Yes, I'm certain. I'm fine. Don't act like I'm a child."

Realizing that he's poking a bear, one still very much attached to him, Dimitri falls silent on the topic, but the smile on his face remains all the same.

"Tomorrow after lunch," he says with a soft nod. "I'll be there."

"Just don't expect to leave anytime soon after."

Even now, his neediness somehow remains endearing. "I won't. I won't leave you for anything."

 

&

 

They fall into a pattern after that, with Dimitri spending most of his days inside both Felix's room and Felix himself. Felix is needy, but this is also the closest Dimitri has felt to his childhood friend in years, something he's not about to take for granted. 

Not that his body would allow it. 

Again and again, it calls him back to Felix, as if their agreed-upon schedule was never necessary. His body knows when his mate wants him, needs him, bite or no bite. 

It's only when his rut starts to wane that he realizes that this arrangement won't be necessary for much longer.

It's a good thing, he supposes. More time to train and do schoolwork, less time spent inside Felix. 

And yet, one week with Felix felt like hardly any time at all.

He knocks on Felix's door without feeling compelled to, without sensing that his mate-- bite or no bite-- needs him. Perhaps Felix will allow it just one last time. 

The door unlocks, Felix's head poking through the crack before opening it completely to allow Dimitri entrance. 

"Sit down."

"I--" He swallows down his nerves, wishing he could do the same with the truth. It remains, however stubbornly, on his tongue. "I wasn't certain that you'd allow me in today."

"Well, I did." A beat. "Sit," he repeats again, gesturing to his bed. "And take off your pants."

Dimitri complies, pushing his confusion aside even as Felix steps up between his legs, his hands moving to his shoulders. "This is the last day we're doing this, boar. After this, you can consider my debt repaid."

Dimitri's mind skids to a halt. "Your debt-- Felix, please, you d--" 

Pressing his palm against his mouth, Felix's eyes narrow into a glare. "Shut. Up. Don't say anything, or I'm calling my plans off and sending you straight back out."

Felix doesn't have a debt to repay, but Dimitri also knows how he is, and allows it to lie. Allows himself to be guided back onto the sheets, Felix's hands making swift work of the lacing at the front of his smallclothes. 

Can I touch, he wishes to ask. The desire for this not to end proves stronger, and he simply… decides to touch, grasping Felix's hips as he straddles him and aligns his cock at his entrance, sinking down with ease. 

Felix allows it, allows Dimitri to guide him minutely as he bounces atop his cock, thigh muscles flexing as his head falls back. Riding him as though it were the only thing that mattered in the world. 

In that moment, Dimitri almost thinks that it is. 

After a week spent taking the lead in the name of appeasing Felix's heat and his own rut, this is… nice, nicer than he cares to admit. Felix is mesmerizing to watch, infinitely beautiful in form and function, his movements far more fluid and less frenzied than they were just a few days ago. 

He even seems to be… enjoying this, Felix's pants and moans telling a story of their own, escalating beautifully as he forces himself all the way down, seemingly determined to take Dimitri's knot one last time. 

One last time.

The thought is an incendiary one, Dimitri only barely resisting the urge to tighten his grip, hold him just above his body, and thrust into him until there could not be any doubt that Felix would end up with his pup inside him. 

They almost come together, and Dimitri finds that he will miss this-- Felix, their shared intimacy, the bits of him that no one else has gotten to witness and no one ever should again. 

It's not until he's back in his own bedroom, spent and tired, that the full weight of their sex settles in alongside another inkling, too dangerous to be articulated even in his mind.

Shutting it away inside a box, he mentally locks it and throws out the key. 

Safer that way.

 

&

 

They go back to normal after that. Attending classes, training, eating in the dining hall, going out on missions-- even if the routine nature of their lives had struck him as a comfort before, Felix's sudden absence serves to highlight a glaring misconception. That his life had ever felt complete without him in it. 

He's in the sauna by himself following a particularly rigorous training session when the door opens, and Felix steps in. 

Scowling only slightly-- something Dimitri decides to take as a sign of progress, however minimal-- he takes his seat naught but a few steps away from him. 

"Felix."

"Don't talk to me."

He sighs. With that avenue cut off, he turns slightly to look at him, allowing his gaze to roam over his features as discreetly as he can manage it through the steamy haze clouding the room.

Felix is beautiful. He's always known this to be true. If it weren't for his snappish behavior, Dimitri is almost convinced that he'd have to bat off suitors, male and female alike. 

Shifting lower, his eyes find his shoulder, the scent gland he never dared bite. Even beyond that, he hardly even scented him. Now, with his hair clinging to his face, the heat in the air making them both sweat, his mind cannot help but be drawn back to their first time, and a fresh wash of desire runs through him.

"What?" Felix snaps, turning to look at him as Dimitri hastily attempts to bunch up the fabric of his towel in his lap. "Stop staring, it's weird." His gaze drops, eyes going marginally wider as Dimitri feels his cheeks burn. "What, can't look at me anymore without wanting to fuck?"

It's far more complicated than that, though Dimitri thinks that Felix knows this, knows the circumstances of their being in here, shirtless and alone, sweat-slicked not unlike a few weeks ago. 

"Apologies," he mutters, ears pink.

"Disgusting."

 Another glance over tells him a different story, a stark contrast to Felix's censure. Far from thinking it disgusting, it would almost seem that he--

"Felix," he whispers sharply, eyes wide. 

The reaction is almost instant, Felix glancing down before his own cheeks redden, the color spreading seemingly everywhere. Down to his collar, up over his forehead, and back again. "It's hot in here," he explains, shoving his hand down into his lap to force his erection to submit. 

"It's unbecoming of a duke to lie to his king."

Felix turns to stare at him, eyes wide. "You're not my king yet."

"No," Dimitri says, shifting off the bench and onto his knees before Felix. "Not yet."

"What are you doing?"

Instead of offering an immediate answer, Dimitri lifts Felix's foot to gently kiss the bridge before smiling, his expression warm. "Getting away with not being a king yet. When I might have to punish you for lying about not wanting me."

Felix falls silent.

"You see," Dimitri continues, "I have… missed this." Another kiss, as carefully placed as the first. "Time spent with you. Even if it was purely physical." The arch, the heel, the ankle-- Dimitri takes his time.

Or-- does, until Felix's impatience wins out. The foot not in his hand presses against his towel, Dimitri groaning at the pressure even as Felix decides that this isn't good enough and eases the towel away. 

"Awful. You should have more self-respect. Act like an alpha. A proper king."

"Not with--" Once more, his mind stutters. Not with my beloved. "Not with you," he says instead. 

He's in love with Felix, then. An odd thought to have under these circumstances, Felix allowing his foot to pleasure him as Dimitri kisses his way up the other leg, along the inside of it, until that towel, too, gets in the way. 

"Although, even if you think it so," he says softly, easing the towel off of Felix's lap, "you must admit that I took good care of you over your heat." 

Felix doesn't say anything, Dimitri leaning in to press a soft kiss to the side of his cock. Up, up, up, until the head slips into his mouth and Felix's head falls back with a groan.

Yes, this was what he missed. Felix's hand in his hair, his cock in his mouth, the sweet noises that leave him only for Dimitri to hear. Being inside of Felix, buried to the hilt and wishing never to be parted from him again. Felix looking at him with something other than loathing and annoyance in his eyes. 

He thinks he'd do anything to have him back in full, but this, just a taste of the real thing as he sinks down atop his cock, is almost enough to satisfy him. 

It's risky, what they're doing-- risky, and a little bit stupid. But when Felix spreads his legs and allows Dimitri to finger him while deep-throating him, it's easy to forget that.

Or to simply stop caring altogether. 

 

&

 

Their game continues after that, the two of them spending a good chunk of their days thoroughly wrapped up in each other. 

It's… nice. 

Until it isn't enough anymore. 

Not when he sees Sylvain's hand come to rest on his scent gland to squeeze, a shiver running through Felix. Not when Felix cancels one of their pre-appointed meeting times on account of the professor offering him a duel. Not when Felix looks at Annette with nothing but warmth and fondness. 

So he arms himself with the resolve and strength to make it or break it as he knocks on Felix's door, holding his breath as he waits to be let in. He doesn't have to wait long; Felix has been expecting him, after all. 

So then, what Felix hasn't been expecting: heart pounding in his ears, Dimitri reaches forward, cups his face, and kisses him for the first time.

Felix yields, as pliant as on the first day, groaning into Dimitri's mouth as the door is kicked shut behind him. He's not sure if that was his doing, but he's grateful either way, too busy kissing Felix to focus on just about anything else. 

And Felix-- Felix is kissing him back. 

He pulls back for air alone, resting his forehead against Felix's as words he hadn't ever expected to utter leave his mouth in a tumble. "I love you."

"A horrible decision, really."

"I'm going to make love to you."

"Don't call it that a-- ah, fuck--"

Reaching down to grasp him through the fabric of his lounge pants, Dimitri smiles as Felix loses his train of thought somewhere in his grasp. 

"Bed," he pants, a few staggered steps and a hand in Dimitri's shirt guiding them backward until Felix's legs hit resistance on the bed. 

They tumble into bed together, Felix beset upon by a Dimitri desperate to kiss him again and again, fingers teasing aside the fabric of his lounge pants just far enough so that he might press two long digits inside of him.

This time, it's Felix who breaks the kiss, gasping as he squirms beneath him. "Don't tease."

"You still haven't said," Dimitri says, curling his fingers until Felix's hips buck up. "How do you feel?"

Throwing his arm across his face, Felix scowls. "Don't ask stupid questions."

"Hardly a stupid question." Withdrawing his fingers, he pauses for a few moments before slowly dragging his lounge pants down his thighs. "I told you that I love you. What is your answer?"

If it's possible, Felix's blush deepens from beneath his arm. "Obviously."

"... ah, what? I'm afraid I do not quite follow, Felix."

"Ridiculous. If you don't know by now, I shouldn't be the one to tell you." He sighs. Even removing the arm from across his face, Felix isn't quite looking at him. "I kept wondering why you weren't biting me. Like maybe something was wrong with me as a mate." Dimitri swallows, watching Felix as he continues. "So I ended our arrangement. I just wasn't strong enough to tell you no when you… tried again."

Reaching up to cup Felix's cheek, Dimitri smiles. "We'll do it now. And we'll do it right this time," he whispers, and leans in to kiss him again. 

Felix wraps his legs around him with ease, all the weakness from the height of his heat having long dissipated as he urges Dimitri on to fuck him now, hard and fast, as impatient as he's ever been. Dimitri wished to take his time with him, kiss him all over, go down on him again, perhaps eat him out once more, but-- Felix is already slick enough to take him, and they-- 

They have time. 

So he complies with his beloved's wishes, groaning as he finds home within him. 

"I love you," he whispers again, littering kisses down and along his jaw to nip at his ear. And again, "I love you," because he needn't hear it from Felix to know it in his heart of hearts. 

They move together, Felix clinging onto him as Dimitri nuzzles his scent gland, kissing it as he feels his knot build. "I'll wait," he whispers, scenting him again, too greedy not to. "I don't want to hurt you, Felix."

"I'm not made of porcelain," he snaps, but it lacks all the heat of his previous censure. "Put your knot in me already, you beast. It's not like I can't feel it--"

Dimitri doesn't make him wait, speeding up his thrusts, harder and faster and then-- deep enough to slip his knot inside of him. 

And when Felix cries out, Dimitri half-hopes the whole monastery might hear him. 

"F-fuck," he gasps, groaning as he squirms beneath him. "Fuck, you just had to be huge--"

"Apologies, beloved."

"Don't you dare apologize. Just bite me, I can take it."

Dimitri knows he can. But he wants this to be pleasurable, memorable for all the time he made him wait. He speeds up his thrusts-- shallow once more-- until Felix is whimpering, his cock twitching against his abdomen. Close, close--

"Boar!" he cries out, Dimitri sinking his teeth into his flesh mere moments before Felix spills himself between their joined bodies, more than enough for Dimitri to follow, blood rushing in his ears as his cock throbs inside of Felix, determined yet to see him bred-- now more so than ever.

His lips are damp, he realizes vaguely, Dimitri drawing back to lick them and gaze down at the sight of his beloved. Skin broken, blood dotting his skin. Not too much, just enough for the bite to take. 

"I love you," he says again, licking up the rest of the blood before pressing a kiss to the wound. 

"I wouldn't have let you mate me if you didn't."

Dimitri knows what that means, the thought bringing a smile to his face. How long has Felix been in his shoes? 

Then again-- perhaps it doesn't matter. After all, they've found each other again, and Dimitri isn't letting go anytime soon.